Season 1, Episode 2: Idolize
Me
Part 2 of 4
The large
projector screen was before Jay and her on a nearby wall, having come down from
a slot in the ceiling. Nick and
Diamond’s meeting in
Nick
was angrily trying to figure out how to talk to
"I'm
gonna get you back!" Now he tilted
what was the little camera towards his face, though one would never suspect it
was a camera. He stuck his tongue out at
it, and
"Can't
wait for it. And don't you have a
mission? I'd rather not see a porno, so
try not to seduce Diamond out of doing the mission."
Jay
snickered as he turned from the sunglasses he was looking over. "Diamond I
wouldn't mind, but no amount of money would ever get me to look at 008's ass
willingly."
"00Carter!"
Nick cried out, annoyed. Jay blinked
with surprise. Wow, that headset of
"Get
going on your mission. Oh, and don't
forget your underwear," she replied simply, making a robotic crane come
out of the car, taking the underwear from Diamond's hands and tossing them into
Nick's. Diamond could be seen in a fit
of laughter, her blonde hair bouncing as she continued chuckling at Nick's
pouting and now annoyed face.
"Fine,
but I'm still gonna get you, Pearly."
"Looking
forward to it." She pressed the
button on her headset once more so Nick couldn't hear what she said and turned
to Jay, who was just enjoying the entire scene happen as Nick and Diamond
headed into the MGM Grand Hotel and Casino on the screen.
The
tattooed man had come down to check on Nick. He’d known
Pearl, you have to help me... please... god... Kitana, I have no one
else to go to!
She
shook the thought away. Because of that,
she and Jay obviously wanted to keep an eye on things.
Jay's
snickering brought her back to the laboratory she sat in. "That was classic."
"As
much as I work, I can afford a little fun," she mused. Really, she and Nick had a history of pulling
jokes on each other like that, always careful not to endanger any missions, of
course, or K would have their heads on a platter.
It
had started when Nick used to prank her during training, so she'd made sure
he'd be stuck deciphering 004 speak along with the third part of their trio as
"You
should have seen him in his car earlier, Jay.
I had it on just in case, but I was busy and distracted from it, 'cause
I was working on this new automatic bra-"
He
smirked as he tilted his sunglasses down to look at her. "Automatic bra?"
"As
in, automatic machine gun, a small one that can fire from the bra. Secret
agents... secret weapons."
"I
want to be around when Diamond uses it."
"What
makes you think I'm making it for Diamond?" She pushed a curly lock away from her face,
tucking it behind her ear.
"Seems
like her kind of weapon."
"Could
be for Red."
"You
already made her two specialized weapons."
"Could
be for Emerald."
"Nah,
she doesn't like stripping unless she's alone with a guy. Besides, she has the sleeping gas
bra." A knowing smirk.
"Well,
don't assume."
Jay
just laughed. "You could give it to
Shazam..."
"He
can barely handle himself, much less a woman to wear it. Though..." She grinned. "It would be fun to see him cross dress
just so he could have an armed weapon.”
She blew a stray lock of hair away from her eyes.
It
was pretty well-known that easygoing Professor Pearl, who could get along with
almost anyone, had little or no patience for JC. She and Nick had that in common, and Jay would
always watch the rare times the three of them had a mission. He was just waiting for the day
"I'd
pay to see that. You're too professional
to give it to him. What you do to Nick
is one thing; K would burst a vein if you did that to JC."
"Could
be for me."
Jay
laughed loudly and fiercely, his face beginning to turn red. "Like you'd wear that! You're
too..."
Professor
Pearl gave him a look and he chuckled, regaining his composure quickly. One should never mess with the one who made
your weapons. "Sorry,
continue."
"I
was working on it and wasn't paying attention, ‘til I heard Nick cursing like
no tomorrow." She snickered a
bit. "Maybe I should have told him
I tweaked with his car's iPod just a bit.
He battled the thing ‘cause I programmed it to not skip songs every time
it played Mambo #5. And of course I had
it play more than once."
"Evil."
"Nah,
I just imitate it well."
"You
think he can handle this, right?"
A
nod. "Of course..."
"But
you're watching ‘cause you're worried."
A
sigh. "You remember the last
mission. Hell, you were there with
us. Can you blame me?"
"No,
and it took out a great agent."
"Justin
was one of the best... I wish it turned out differently is all. I wish a lot of things when it comes to that,
Jay."
"We
all do, Pearl."
The
dark-haired agent drummed his fingers against the table as, on the screen, they
could see Nick and
There
were far more than they had expected, and their eyes focused on the screen as
the two began to interact with others.
Any one of them could be the enemy they were looking for.
The
older male next to her began focusing on those there to see if he could spot
any suspicious-looking people as they began preparing for the first audition.
"If
nothing else, this will be interesting."
"They'll
get it done."
His
eyes took in the surroundings of the laboratory as he ran a hand through his
dark strands of hair. "They have
to."
± ± ±
Diamond adjusted her
audition number on her stomach. Since a
woman had pinned it on her, it was too low.
She examined the thin sheet of paper carefully, pursing her lips.
“It’s still sixty-nine even
if it’s upside down for you,” a male laughed.
“I’m just making sure the
sign flatters my figure, Nick,” she answered nonchalantly.
“Well, sideways it’s Cancer.”
Diamond flipped out her
phone casually. “Hold still.” She snapped a picture of Nick again and
starting texting.
“Who are you sending all
this to, anyway?”
“Lancy.” Diamond gave Nick’s butt a short pat. “Wearing the boxers now?”
“What if I wasn’t?” Nick gave her a quick grin.
Diamond ran her hand through
her hair lightly. “Well, Lancy gave me
the best idea for a song, so I kinda want to audition now.”
“And what song would that
be?” Nick crossed his arms.
Diamond winked and put her
finger to her lips. “It’s a secret.”
Nick pouted slightly. “Tell me.”
“Entry number 006969,” a
male voice called.
Diamond let out a tiny
squeal. “Wish me luck, Nick.”
“Just don’t suck like
usual,” Nick smirked.
“It’s a proven fact that my sucking
is extremely popular.” Diamond stuck her
tongue out. She then sauntered over to
the door being held open by the production assistant, flashing him a smile. As she walked through the door, his head
cocked a bit, watching her hips shake with her seductive walk. Nick couldn’t help but feel a little jealous.
Diamond stood in front of
the judges and flashed her smile. “I’m
Desiree DuBaiser, and I’ll be singing ‘Hey Mickey’.”
The British judge rolled his
eyes and muttered a sarcastic, “Lovely.”
But the female judge in the
middle of the panel beamed and nodded perkily.
“Great song choice! Whenever
you’re ready, sweetheart.”
Diamond put her hands on her
hips and gave a suggestive little twirl.
And began her meager attempt at dance moves; she was really only good at
bump and grind anyway. “Oh Nicky,
you're so fine…”
“You're so
fine, you blow my mind
Hey Nicky!
Hey Nicky!
Oh Nicky, you're so fine,
You're so fine, you blow my mind
Hey Nicky!
Hey Nicky!
Oh Nicky, you're so fine,
You're so fine you blow my mind
Hey Nicky!”
Diamond turned back to face
the judges and gave a little shimmy and a big grin. “Hey Nicky!” She began concocting a dance involving a lot
of pirouettes, shimmying, and butt shaking.
“You've
been around all night and that's a little long,
You think you've got the right, but I think you've got it wrong.
Why can't you say ‘goodnight,’ so you can take me home, Nicky?
’Cause when you say you will, it always means you won't
You're givin’ me the chills, baby, please baby don't
Every night you still leave me all alone, Nicky.”
Around the chorus, she
changed her improvisational butt shaking into a choreographed dance by putting
her hand against her forehead and seeming to let out a sigh. Her dance became cute rather than seductive. “Oh Nicky, what a pity you don't
understand…”
“You take
me by the heart when you take me by the hand
Oh Nicky, you're so pretty, can’t you understand?
It’s guys like you, Nicky
Oh what you do, Nicky
Do Nicky
Don't break my heart, Nicky”
A grin spread across her
face as she began strutting toward the judges.
“Hey Nicky!” She leaned
against the table and began thrusting her hips.
She then proceeded to climb on the table and put her hands on the
slightly overweight, African American male judge’s shoulders while giving him
some sort of table-top impromptu lap dance.
“Now when you take me by the hooves…”
“Everyone's gonna know
Every time you move I let a little more show
There's something we can use, so don't say no, Nicky!”
She then crawled over to the British one and repeated her previous display,
going as far putting her hands upon his chest.
“So come on and give it to me…”
“Anyway you
can
Anyway you want to do it, I’ll treat you like a man
Oh please, baby please, don't leave me in a jam, Nicky!”
She put her hands to her
heart again as she leaned in closer to older British evaluator. “Oh Nicky, what a pity you don't
understand, you take me by the heart…”
He put his hand to her face
to stop her singing.
“Desiree, Desiree,
Desiree…” Repeating Diamond’s first
name, the heavyset black judge shook his head and frowned. “I dunno what’s going on here, but wow…
sorry, but that just wasn’t good for me.”
But the perky female judge
next to him was all smiles. “I loved
your enthusiasm! You put such great
energy and spirit into that performance, I think every girl in the room fell in
love with ‘Nicky.’”
Listening outside the
audition room, Nick groaned.
“… and you’re such a
beautiful girl,” the woman continued to gush.
“We’re not just looking for a good singer; we’re looking for a performer,
and I think you’ve got real star potential.
You’re a born entertainer.”
“Okay, Paulette,” the older
British judge cut her off in his dry, lolling voice. “Now for some meaningful feedback. Honestly, I thought it was abysmal. You were off-key, it was a poor song choice;
even the dancing wasn’t very good.
But…” He paused dramatically and
arched his brow before finishing, “You’re a pretty girl, and I think you do
have a way of captivating your audience, so… I’d like to see what you’d do with
a better song. You’re through to the
next round.”
± ± ±
The two agents sat, eyes trained on the rows of
monitors in front of them, all displaying footage from the hidden cameras they
had planted inside the Global Idol auditions.
But so far, they hadn’t picked up much of interest, and the dark-haired
agent was getting bored. His brown eyes
were starting to glaze, while his female companion’s remained sharp, and his
butt was growing alarmingly numb. He
rose from his swiveling armchair and tried to rub it discretely.
He heard a snicker next to him and turned to find
her laughing at him. “Got an itch down
there?”
“No,” he snapped and sat down hard, fuming. She must not have known what it felt like to
have your butt fall asleep. She had
enough junk in her trunk, it probably never happened to her. She had a built-in cushion. Beneath his muscle, he was all bone.
“When are they going to get in? This is bullshit,” he said, trying to take the
attention off his rear end as he gestured to the monitors.
All day, they’d watched audition after bad
audition play out in the MGM Grand. It
pained him to see the contestants mocked and humiliated by the snarky
judges. He knew what it was like to be
told you weren’t good enough. It
hurt. And they were using it as
entertainment. If he’d had his way, his
agency would have nothing to do with this obnoxious show, but then again, it was
a worldwide phenomenon. Of course a
villainous organization would want to infiltrate it; they could reach half the
world through this show. And so, here he
was, watching the cameras and waiting for something to happen.
Suddenly, the woman next to him drew in a sharp
breath. “Lookie here,” she said. “We’re in.”
He looked up and saw a familiar-looking blonde
sashaying onto the audition stage.
Suddenly alert, his brown eyes grew large and round.
Then, “Look!”
A clawed hand grabbed his chin and turned his face toward a different
camera. As his companion pointed with
one long fingernail, he saw what he was supposed to be looking at: the male figure skulking through the shadows
in the back of the audition room, heading for the sound booth.
“It’s started,” he observed,
eyes flitting anxiously between the dark figure on one camera and the blonde
agent screeching an obnoxious rendition of “Hey Mickey!” on the other. “And it looks like we’ve got company.”
± ± ±