Season 1, Episode 5:
Bunnies in Black
Part 2 of 8
K sat
at his desk with his fingers interlaced.
Jay leaned against the desk with his shades pulled down as he watched
the girls stand around the room. Emerald
leaned against the frame of the closed door.
Diamond leaned against the wall, right next to the hanging plant, and
furiously texted on her phone. Red and
Jay
gave a silent glance to Emerald and Red before turning back to
Jay
pushed his shades back up the bridge of his nose slowly. “No, we need you on the team. Unless you want an assistant…”
“You’ve
got to be kidding me.”
Red
stared at the folder on her lap. “The
last time I was here, someone was trying to poison the water supply….”
Emerald
shook her head. “Am I supposed to
memorize your missions and mine? You’ve
got to be kidding.”
Diamond
held up her phone briefly. “Nick says
he’s still in
Emerald
shook her head. “Well, obviously, a
gentleman is better at driving a boat than a novice.”
Diamond
paused momentarily. “Nick just wrote ‘Go
back to
Emerald
grumbled under her breath, “Maybe 008 should go back to surfing in LA…”
K
cleared his throat.
Jay
gave a brief smile. “At least they’re
keeping positive.”
K let
out a low sigh and rapped his fingers on his desk. “Finish it up, Jay.”
Jay
rose his free hand as he produced a wireless mouse in the other. “Sorry, Di, you won’t get to go to the mall
with Lancy for a little while, at least…”
He gave the mouse a click, and a projector screen appeared from the name
plate on K’s desk. A tiny projector
appeared from the arm of the chair Red sat in.
Red
took in a quick gasp; her folder fell to the ground. “You really did put all sorts of technology
in this office, didn’t you?”
“Shoots
missiles,
“You
wish. Actually…”
K
cleared his throat again.
The
girls turned back to K with rapt attention, except for Red, who hurriedly
whisked the contents of the folder from the floor.
K
leaned back in his chair. “So… you all
heard about the situation we were in yesterday.
Jay typed up a summary of the… incident
for all of you.”
A
summarized version of K’s previous debriefing flashed across the projector
screen as Jay clicked the mouse.
Red
closed the folder in her lap. “Don’t
worry; I’ve had a day.”
K
rose his hand. “What’s more important is
that this hasn’t gotten out, but it could be a bigger problem than you think.”
Emerald
uncrossed her arms. “The wife is dead,
and the husband thinks she never existed.
How could it get out?”
K
shook his head. “It’s bigger than this
one incident.”
K
nodded his head. “You’re on the right
track.”
Red
turned to K. “This goes beyond Vegas?”
“Try
Diamond
lowered her phone. “That’s not
fair! Being a beach bunny is a very
important part of beach commerce!”
Emerald
smirked. “And the text message queen
finally joins the mission.”
Diamond
shook her head. “I was listening, and I
was downloading the power point to my phone….”
Emerald
rolled her eyes. “You and that
phone… Did 008 tell you anything else
while you were taking notes?”
Diamond
blinked. “
Emerald
crossed her arms and laughed again. “I’m
impressed you sleep with that fashion faux pas.”
Diamond
rolled her eyes and turned to
Jay
shook his head. “They won’t like this,
K…”
K
laced his fingers. “The four of you will
be going to
Diamond
pulled down her phone. “What’s not to
like about LA?” She turned to Jay. “Look at that
Jay
chuckled.
Emerald
rolled her eyes. “Who are you, Diamond,
Cher Horowitz?”
Red
leaned forward. “So they’re targeting LA
next?”
K
shook his head. “No, they’re already in
LA. How do you all feel about bunnies?”
Diamond’s
face lit up. “I have a picture of a cute
one on my phone!”
Jay
grabbed Diamond’s phone. “It’s a real
rabbit…”
Diamond
cocked her head. “What kind of bunny
would it be?”
Emerald
leaned forward. “Jay, really?” She shook her head. “So we go to LA and hang out on the
beach? That’s not bad.”
K
cleared his throat. “You’ll be going
undercover as Bunnies.”
Diamond
took her phone back from Jay. “Like full
body suits?”
K
cleared his throat again. “Like
lingerie.”
K
laced his fingers once more. “Like
lingerie.”
Red
turned to
K
tapped the top of the projector. “Jay
will be going with you to donate you to the
Red
turned back to K with a raised brow. “I
had no idea you were into trafficking flesh.”
K
pointed to Jay. “He’s the top agent on
this mission; send your complaints to him.”
Emerald
shook her head. “I don’t like the idea of
playing sex slave. I’m a one man girl.”
Diamond
snickered. “A one-CIA-agent girl, you
mean.”
Emerald
slammed her fist into the wall. “Jay,
I’m not touching no nasty ass! And if
you think I’m gonna take shit, I’ll tell you right now, I’m not.”
Jay
put the mouse on the desk. “Well,
there’s only Hef to worry about, and he’s old enough that you probably won’t
ever see him.”
Diamond
shut her phone. “Wait, I don’t have to
sleep with them, right? They’re probably
diseased!”
There
was silence.
Jay
turned to K. “They really didn’t take it
well…. I expected a snide comment from Emerald just then…”
Emerald
sneered. “And I suppose you want to be a
sex slave, Jay? Because you’re more than
welcome to it.”
K
cleared his throat once more. “You girls
better get suited up and head for the helicopter… Playboy’s waiting.”
K
gave her a weak smile. “You know as well
as I do that they aren’t in yet.”
“Then
at least get me my big weapons!”
K
shook his head. “You have big weapons?”
“For
killing things.”
± ± ±
Agent Carter stepped out of the airport, his signature
Ray-Bans already in place, and smiled a smile that could stop the hearts of
women around the world when his eyes found the beautiful sight of his decked
out Hornet, ready and waiting for him in the parking lot. The heat was blistering, but he blared the
music over the noise of the rolled-down windows instead of the comforts of air
conditioning, because triple-digit heat was better than double-digit cold any
day.
“God, it’s good to be home,” he said to himself as he passed
through the front doors of the HimTak agency headquarters.
And it was good to be back.
Good to be back where no one was trying to kill him. Good to be back where there weren’t any
penguins, however cool moonwalking ones may be.
It was good to finally be free of the damned CIA and their dim-witted,
pushy, whiny agents trying to tell him what to do, and back where his
co-workers loved and respected him.
(Well, most of them.) And it was
especially good to be back where the women preferred to make out with him as
opposed to each other.
With that last thought in mind, Nick walked into the main
sector of the HimTak offices and yelled at the top of his lungs, “LADIES! I’M HOME!
00Carter’s back, and he’s saved the world, yet again.”
Nick held out his arms as wide as he could, waiting for the
greeting that always followed a long mission, but was only met with an
unnerving silence. “Ladies? Angels?”
Nick frowned at the empty office until a pair of arms
wrapped around him from behind, and he was greeted with a high-pitched
squeal. “NIIIIIIICKYYYYY!”
“Bassy?” he questioned when he recognized the voice that was
not nearly feminine enough to be so close to him. “Ugh, get off me!”
Nick struggled to release himself from his affectionate
secretary’s grip, as Agent 006 came into the room in workout gear. “Excuse me,
ladies, some of us have important missions to train for,” he laughed as he
passed the other two men. “Carter, I
always knew you were a little desperate, but the girls haven’t even been gone a
day, and you’re already putting the moves on poor Lancy?”
Nick glanced at the man who still had his arms around him,
surprised to see him blushing, and glared at him until he jumped a safe
distance back. Then he turned his
attention back to his fellow agent.
“Fuck off, Chasez. What do you
mean the girls are gone?”
“K sent them on a mission to
“All of them?”
“Yup, without you.”
“Looks like he sent them without you too, dumbass. I was off saving the world; what’s your excuse?”
“Saving the world? I
heard you actually almost got yourself killed and blew up half of
“She said what!? That
bitch!” Nick yelled and then turned his attention on Lancybassy. “Is that what you heard?”
Lancy hated to upset his favorite HimTak agent, but the
version he’d heard wasn’t really that far off, so he just shrugged as he
glanced at his feet. “But
“Yeah, way to drop the ball there too, 008,” JC
laughed. “Is that twice now, or three
times you let him get away? Maybe we
should just call you Butterfingers from now on.”
Lancy’s eyes widened in horror at the comment about Drums,
and he stepped to the side just in time to escape getting pounded as Nick
grabbed JC and threw him against the wall.
So angry he couldn’t speak, Nick raised his fist, deciding a beating was
the best option at the moment, but just before he could throw his fist into
JC’s face, a hand was placed over his, forcing it to his side.
Nick huffed to see the soft, soothing smile of his superior,
the ever-wise Grasshopper, meet his rage head on. “Careful, young grasshopper,” he advised,
pulling him away from his scared co-worker.
“In times of crisis, it is better for a man to think like a fish and
build himself a nest of bubbles.”
Nick, JC, and Lancy all exchanged confused looks, but no
matter whether they understood his words or not, they knew his meaning, and
both Nick and JC gained control of their tempers. Grasshopper smiled proudly and threw his arm
over JC’s shoulder. “Come, my son, we
must make sure you are prepared before you meet your next mission.”
Nick glared at JC as he walked away, unable to pull his
attention away until a hand was placed on his shoulder. “Lancy!” he yelled again. “I told you to get the fuck off-”
Nick whirled around to see Agent K looking at him with
critical eyes. “Are you alright, 008?” K
questioned, sternly, yet sincerely. “Was
the last mission too stressful?”
“Of course not, sir.
It’s just that jackass, 006.”
“He’s a good agent.”
“He’s still a jackass.”
K looked at the young man with disapproval, covering the
fact that he wanted to agree, and quickly turned the focus of the conversation back
to Carter. “Have you been to the medic
yet? Until you’ve been back in the field
for awhile, I want you to have a routine psych evaluation after each mission.”
“What!?”
“Just taking precautions, 008. You’re one of my better agents; I can’t
afford to take any chances.”
Nick grumbled a moment, but then thought of the stunning
redhead who was normally in charge of his “evaluations” and smirked at the
memory of his last. “No sir,” he finally
grinned, “I haven’t been to medical yet, but I promise to let Red evaluate me
quite thoroughly just as soon as you get me to Los Angeles.”
“Nice try, 008, but the only place you’re going is
“You’re benching me?”
“Just giving you a break.”
“I don’t need a break.”
“I consider your last mission a success, if for no other
reason than you and Rok didn’t kill each other, but you’re a little high-strung
now, and there’s no way I’m putting you on a case that has anything to do with
Los Angeles, let alone the Playboy Mansion, and expect you to actually
concentrate on the mission...”
“
“No buts, Carter.
You’re not going.”
“That’s not fair!”
Agent K sighed, but then smiled at Nick. He respected the young man’s enthusiasm and
willingness to work hard, but the kid had a lot to learn about patience. “I needed the girls on this one, Nick. I didn’t have a choice. Believe me, they would all rather trade
places with you if they could, but I need you to be their eyes and ears this
time.”
Nick rolled his eyes, pouting that he wouldn’t be getting
his way, but at least it wasn’t because K didn’t think he could handle it. He eventually made his way to
± ± ±