Season 1, Episode 8:
FANthrax
Part 10 of 10
“Thanks
for all your help. We couldn’t have done
this without you,” Red said the next day, as she and Nick were preparing to
leave. She smiled, shaking Julilly’s
hand.
“I
was glad to help. Hopefully we won’t have
to meet like this again.” Julilly
nodded. “But if we do, I don’t know
anyone else I’d rather work with.”
Red
chuckled. “I feel the same.”
Julilly
looked over at Nick, giving him a small smile. “It’s been fun, Nick.”
Nick
stared at her for a minute before taking her hand and tugging gently. “Walk with me,” he said quietly.
Red
rolled her eyes, turning and joining everyone else at the waiting van that
would take them home.
“I’ve
really enjoyed our time together,” Nick said, smiling.
“Sure
you have. You say that to all your women,
Nick; I wouldn’t stop to think for a minute that you mean that.”
“But
I do. You’re special, baby.”
“Oh
yeah? How special?” Julilly questioned,
raising an eyebrow.
“Really
special. You’re my Canadian woman…the
one and only.”
Julilly
groaned. “Oh lord.”
Nick
winked. “You love it.”
Julilly
said nothing, just smiled.
“So
can I look you up the next time I come to
Julilly
gave him a look of exasperation. “I’m
Canadian; of course I like hockey.”
“Then
it’s a date.”
“Don’t
flatter yourself, Carter. I don’t date
co-workers,” Julilly sighed.
“But
we’re not co-workers. We worked on a
special assignment, and now we’re just two adults going to a hockey game… and
maybe a nightcap after.” He grinned.
Julilly
chuckled. “I should’ve known. I’ll think about it, okay? Hold your breath until I call.”
Nick
raised an eyebrow. “I’ll have you know,
I’m a licensed scuba diver; I can hold my breath longer than you’d imagine,
sweets, and that‘s without the tank.”
Julilly
stepped closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and tugging him close
to her, their lips only inches apart.
“Yeah?
Prove it,” she murmured, before kissing
him deeply.
± ± ±
“Ya
know, I’m really gonna miss Canada,” Nick sighed, as he and Red made their way
into HimTak’s headquarters.
Red
had been unusually quiet on the trip back, casting him nasty glares every so
often. “Really?” she dead-panned,
walking through the door Nick held open for her.
“Absolutely! I mean, I feel like I’m part Canadian now. And the women – so welcoming…” He chuckled.
Red
glared at him again, making her way through another door, making sure to shut
it hard. Nick, who was off in his own
world, didn’t notice and ran right into it with a muttered “Ow.”
Nick
rubbed at his nose absently as they made their down the hall. It took a moment before Nick realized that
everyone who passed him was staring at him and snickering, some just full-out
laughing. He smiled uneasily the first
couple of times, but as they got closer and closer to K’s office, he started
growing more and more suspicious, the smile fading into a grimace. He kept asking people what was so funny, but
no one could respond – they’d start laughing harder.
“This
is quite a welcome for some agents who just saved the world from some deadly
virus. They should be thanking us, not
laughing at us.” Nick frowned.
“It’s
not us they’re laughing at, moron; it’s you.” Red grinned.
Nick
frowned deeper. She seemed to be
enjoying this, and that was not cool.
“How
do you know they’re not laughing at you? How do you know that they‘re…” Nick stopped suddenly.
Lancybassy
was staring at him, really staring at him. Nick had grown used to the way Lancy was; he
was used to him staring at him, but not like this. It was as if he were undressing him with his
eyes. There was a longing, a… hunger in
his eyes that Nick had never seen before. He turned quickly, checking to make sure his fly
was zipped before turning back around.
Lancy
was still staring.
What
the hell? He continued to stare at him,
his eyes never once leaving Nick as he and Red made their way into K’s office.
“What
is that all about?” Nick said, looking at Red.
She
shrugged, still grinning. “I have no
idea; I’m as lost as you are. Well…
maybe not that lost.”
“Shuddup!”
Nick groaned.
“I
dunno, you’ve always been the product of his fantasies… Maybe he’s just gotten really good at
fantasizing about you.”
“That’s
just sick, you know that? I haven‘t done
anything different to feed his, uh… whatever.”
Red
just smiled.
± ±
±
“In other news, the plague that had been
sweeping through
“Too
bad that couldn’t have happened before I caught it.” Brian smirked as he watched the news from
where he was lying on the couch.
They’d
been back home at his country house in
He’d
give them two weeks. Three wasn’t an
option; he’d start acting like Nick if he was confined that long. At least he’d survived one already…
“… As for the creator of this
monstrous disease, we’re told it was an anarchist acting alone. The Canadian Service Intelligence Agency
denied repeated rumors about it coming from a terrorist organization. Sources report that the culprit is believed to
have died, after his helicopter was shot down during a pursuit by both the
Canadian and American Air Forces…”
“Good.”
“You
know, it’s funny how HimTak has their fingers in every global problem, yet no
one has any hint of their existence.”
Brian
smiled as his girlfriend set the bowl of piping hot soup on the TV tray before
him. The aroma tantalized his nose and
reminded him of just how good it was to be on something other than an IV or
soft foods again these past couple days. She sat beside him on the couch, her hand
trailing along his face tenderly. Brian
chuckled softly. “I know, but that’s how
the UN wants it.”
“So
working for the UN isn’t just a rumor spread to enforce authority.”
“Not
the way Kev tells it, and he’s always been honest with me since I started
liaising with HimTak. The UN figured
they’d be nothing but a powerless figurehead without something to back it up. I’m sketchy on the details…” He smirked. “In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m not allowed to
know what I do, but it led to HimTak being born, a police force to keep the
world at peace, for the most part.”
Opal
nodded, lifting a spoon and blowing on it gently before feeding him. “Makes sense.” She fed him some more contentedly. Brian had to admit, he could definitely get
used to this sort of thing. Recovering
from a deadly virus did have its benefits. He glanced up as she continued, “… I got a new
assignment the other day…”
A
brow rose as he swallowed the rest of the soup in his mouth. “When?”
“Just
before I rushed up to
This
time, he sat up with a start. As much as
he loved serving his country, protecting it every way he could, as part of the
Central Intelligence Agency, he wasn’t fond of the Federal Bureau of
Investigation. In fact, ironically, it
was, at times, similar to Nick’s frustration with the government. The FBI tended to mess with things Brian felt
was a waste of time, seeing as the CIA had a branch to deal with the “unknown.”
A branch he himself was part of, and the
top ranking agent to boot. It seemed
unnecessary, the FBI’s having its own branch, which, at times, interfered with
his investigations. However, it was the
CIA that occasionally involved itself with HimTak matters, while the FBI
typically did not.
“Really?
What do they want with you, Ash? I know they have their own cryptographers…”
Ashavari
nodded, as her hand brushed against Brian’s sideburns. “You’re getting too scruffy,” she teased.
“Ash,
come on, what’s the deal?”
“Remember
your Playboy mission?”
“Alien
central? Sure.”
“All
the technology they took…”
“Still can’t believe they were allowed to
keep it all when my branch could have done more with it…”
“They
want to see if I can’t crack the alien language. So they’re borrowing me, and my department
approved it. It’s supposed to rank above
all other assignments – and stay highly classified…”
Brian
chuckled. “So I don’t count then. Nice.”
“You
know you need to shave. You’re starting
to look like the Wolfman.”
He
howled playfully, and before the two could continue, Brian heard his phone
ringing. However, the ringtone wasn’t
the one he normally had. No, this one
wasn’t it at all. Yet he knew it was
coming from his phone beside the couch, sitting on the TV tray next to the soup
that had almost been forgotten.
Brian
had no idea how he’d done it, but he was definitely
going to get Nick back for this.
You wanna know what you get
When you play a country song
backwards
You get your
house back
You get your dog back
You get your best friend Jack back
You get your truck back
You get your hair back
Finally, he grabbed for the phone, answering and trying not to
laugh, despite himself. Before
“Carter.”
And what did Nick do? He
decided instead of answering like a normal person, he’d try singing to Brian
again to boot. “Oh itty bitty dinky one…come on and talk to me…Oh itty bitty dinky
one, I’m down on my kneeeeeeeeeee….”
Finally, it was too much, and Brian just laughed. “How…?”
“Did I change your phone? I
called down and asked
Brian raised his eyebrows, stifling a chuckle. “… You actually went to the trouble of
getting
There was a pause. Then
Nick’s sheepish voice replied, “Uh… yeah, well… shitballs. I didn’t think of it at the time!”
Brian snickered. “Fail.”
“Not for
“Have you seen K yet? I
need to call my dear sweet cousin. I
have such a story to tell him about that car of yours… oh, and that bumblebee,
gas-guzzling Hummer…”
“It was ALL they had, I tell you!” Brian could hear him laughing, though, as
well. “I kinda miss Canada… had to say
goodbye to Julilly… damn, and she was fun, too.” Brian shook his head. “But how you feeling?”
“Better. They got me down on
bed rest for two-and-a-half weeks.”
“Aight, then that’s when I’ll come up, and we can wrap up this
file. I just, you know… had to call.”
Brian got the meaning. It
was strange, that feeling of camaraderie that had popped up between them during
this mission. Yet, there it was,
undeniably. Nick had been there for him
in ways Brian would never have expected, and he was actually a better agent
than he’d ever thought. Strange. Just like everything else in Himitsu Takana.
“Thanks, Nick. Or should I
say… 008?”
“You suck, Country Boy.”
“Bye.”
“Laters!”
Brian flipped the phone shut, and Opal kissed him gently on his
cheek, giving him the smile he adored. “I
told you he wasn’t the Anti-Christ.”
“Shush.”
“Just admit I was right, Bri…” she sing-songed.
“Shush.”
“Make me.”
His arms wrapped around her, pulling her close against him, her
lips only inches away from his own. “Oh,
I will.”
± ±
±
Dr.
Rough watched as the helicopter carrying the exasperating 00Carter and another
female agent – there were too many to remember – neared his aerial escape. The female agent was better at flying the
pursuing helicopter than he ever would want to have admitted. He needed to find a way to shake them.
He
glanced below and noticed he was flying over what he believed to be
Sweat
on his palms caused his hand to slip from the collective and down onto a panel
of buttons he had not noticed originally. Quickly grabbing hold of the collective again,
in order to keep control of his helicopter, he glanced down and grinned to
himself. Now he knew exactly how he
would get away from those meddlesome kids and make them believe he was no
longer a threat.
Timing
his turn, he veered back towards
“Drums!”
he barked into his headset, as he held on to the controls, contorting himself
to reach just what he needed from behind his seat. He could feel the helicopter dip sideways,
tilting objects inside to the right; he hoped the agents were still far enough
away that they did not catch that flying blunder.
“Yah,
boss?” Drums spoke back.
Dr.
Rough detailed his brilliant plan to his right-hand man and knew that his end
would be held up. Now he just had to
make sure his end worked as well as his mind had planned it out.
He
tried desperately to pull his arms through the air tanks straps so that he
would be prepared. Using only one hand,
he thought he had control, despite his right arm not wanting to get through the
strap.
“Gar!” he shouted, as he lost control of the
helicopter, just as he heard gunfire coming from the pursuing chopper. He would have cursed his foolishness, but the
sudden swerve of his own ‘copter saved him from being hit too soon by the
agents.
Both
hands now on the collective, Dr. Rough purposely swerved and sped along,
finding a place of his choosing for his ultimate demise. It was not long until he found the spot and
turned his copter so that his door was on the far side. Staring out the passenger window at the
oncoming helicopter, he jimmied the steering to hold position and jammed his
hand down on the self-destruct button.
He grinned as he saw them fire, as he hoped
they would. He pulled the breathing
apparatus around his face and clung tightly to the air tank. As the missile struck the flank of his
helicopter, he lowered himself through
the trapdoor in the floor and dropped, freefalling towards the water. He could feel the heat from the hit and then
more heat from the self-destruct explosion that followed.
The
water was cold as he sank beneath it and swam away from the explosion. He hoped that the extra fireworks would
prevent the interfering agents from looking for him.
Dr. Rough still thought his escape from the HimTak agents
was one of sheet brilliance, but now he was infuriated.
“How could this happen?!” he shouted to the four minions
who had only recently been his favorites.
Now they would be eel fodder, if he could just find an eel that would
eat their flesh.
“THOSE BLASTED HIMTAK AGENS HAVE FOUND A CURE!” he screamed,
picking up the first thing he could reach to throw. Looking at the object in his hand, he thought
better of throwing a picture of his mother and picked up the a vase filled with
flowers and hurled them across the room instead. “WHY DO WE HAVE VASES WITH FLOWERS, ANYWAY?!”
he screamed in the general direction of everyone.
“They make the place cozy,” one of the identical ones – Dr.
Rough could not remember which – answered.
They were shortly taken to the medical wing, as the picture
of his mother did fly from his hands,
hitting the minion in the nose.
“One… two… three… four… five…” Dr. Rough counted, in an
attempt to calm himself down. He looked
out at the crowd of minions gathered, awaiting the beginning of the
meeting. Turning to business, he stepped
up to his podium and began.
“As we are all aware by now, Operation FANthrax did not
complete its objective.” He started up a
slide show, where he showed a picture of a Moffatts concert, followed by images
of hospitals full of the sick, then onto the images of those once ill
recovering, including a picture of Agent Littrell.
“With the infection of Agent Littrell, we weakened their
regime only slightly. That is why you
have all been called here today. It is
time to make headway on my newest scheme, Operation Let It Blow!” He cackled maniacally.
“Donnie, I will need you…” He looked around the room, searching for the
pale, twitchy minion. “Donnie… Donnie….
DON-NIE!” Dr. Rough peeled from the
conference room and bolted down the hall, looking for the insolent agent. As he stormed through the corridors, he thought
of how he should punish him.
± ± ±
Donnie and his red-headed girlfriend stood next to each
other, hand in hand, starting down at the counter in the bathroom. The three minutes they were forced to wait
seemed like an eternity, as they stood waiting.
Donnie continue to flip the instruction booklet over, trying to see if
there was some step they missed, something they needed to do while they waited.
The woman let out a small gasp, as the results flashed
across the screen.
Donnie looked down at the screen. “The most advanced piece of technology you
will ever pee on.”
± ± ±
Back
at HimTak, Red and Nick were waiting in K’s office for him to debrief them
after their mission. They both turned
around when K entered the room, slamming the door shut angrily as he hastened
to his desk and sat behind it, his expression a glower at Nick.
“I
don’t think I need to remind you, 008-” K began.
“00Carter,”
Nick corrected, nursing his arm after Red elbowed him to keep him from making
matters worse: it was crystal clear that
K was upset with Nick about something more important than whether he was to be
called 008 or 00Carter.
K
ignored the interruption and continued, “-that you have a license to kill, NOT
to break traffic laws. We’re not paying
these tickets off for you.”
“But
K-“
“But
NOTHING! You broke at least five traffic
laws in two minutes! What were you
thinking?” K asked, waving his hand at Nick as he opened his mouth to answer. “On second thought, I probably don’t even want
to know.”
“You
don’t. Really,” Red insisted.
“The
point is, you caused a lot of damage, and could have made things worse, if-”
K was
interrupted again. “-If I hadn’t known
you were a total blonde and put in extra safety mechanisms,”
Nick
looked back at her as she appeared in the doorway, her arms crossed over her
chest. Nick had a feeling that if looks
could kill, he would have been dead the moment she walked into the room. Just as that thought crossed his mind, Diamond
entered the room behind
“Ladies,
this meeting is supposed to be private.” K told them, then cleared his throat
in an attempt to redirect Nick’s attention to the matter at hand.
“So’s this…”
“WHAT
THE–?! HOW DID–?! RED?!” Nick exclaimed, jumping up from his
chair and spinning around to face Red Jewel.
Red
tried not to laugh any harder than she already was, but the expression on Nick’s
face, both in the picture and in person, was just too priceless.
“I
couldn’t resist, Nick…” she answered, once she had contained her amusement, for
the moment.
Nick
looked at her, appalled, and took a few steps towards the door, before K’s
voice stopped him again. “Not so fast,
008. We’re not done here,” K said.
“But
K, haven’t I suffered enough?!” Nick
motioned to the picture still displayed up on the projector.
K
glanced back quickly and tried to cover up his laughing with a fake coughing
fit. “No, you haven’t,” K stated flatly,
motioning for Nick to sit back down, which he did, begrudgingly, slumping down
in the chair and crossing his arms over his chest in a manner much like a young
child throwing a tantrum. “I haven’t
even gotten to how ridiculous that rental car was! You represent our organization when you go on
missions, 008; you can’t do something as outrageous as renting a bumblebee
yellow Hummer to drive around
“But
it was all they had!”
“I
highly doubt that.”
“I
swear, it was-”
“I
don’t want to hear it! You’re paying for
the car rental, too,” K said, as Nick scoffed in disbelief.
Before
Nick could object, the door opened once again, and, this time, Emerald walked
in.
“Oh
jeez!” she exclaimed, immediately putting her right hand up to block her view
of the picture. “I didn’t know you guys
were watching Nick Jr. in here.”
“Don’t
hate, Em,” Diamond said, as she checked her reflection in the mirrored screen
on the front of her cell phone. “You
know you wish Nick Jr. was just for you.”
“Not
really,” Emerald replied, leaning against the wall near the doorway, not
wanting to get any closer to the disturbing picture. “Though I wonder how anyone can find that
thing without a microscope…”
This
time, it was Nick who responded. “Just
admit that you could never handle me, Avril.”
“You
need a babysitter, not a girlfriend, Double-0-Streaker.”
“I
knew we shoulda dropped you off at home while we were in
“ENOUGH!”
K shouted, stopping both agents from erupting into an argument that he was
getting rather sick of hearing every damn time. “Emerald does have a point, Nick, your
behavior on this mission was unacceptable. You’re a secret agent – that means your
presence needs to stay a secret. Running
naked through a hotel is not the proper way to stay incognito.”
“K,
that was a total accident! I just got
out of the shower, and-”
“I
told you, I don’t want to hear it, 008!” K told him. “I expect those expenses to be paid on time,
and you to remain fully clothed at all times during missions from now on, 008.”
“Even
when I take a shower or something?” Nick asked.
“How
about you try not leaving hotel rooms without your pants on, Nick?” Red
suggested, giggling as Nick glared at her again.
“Gee,
I wonder why I didn’t think of that,” Nick said sarcastically.
“Obviously,
you didn’t.” K nodded behind him at the
picture, now trying to control his laughter even more. He looked up at the doorway yet again, as he
saw the knob turn, and Lancy walked in.
“Mr.
K, you have a conference call on line – OH… MY… GO-” Lancy fainted before he finished his
sentence, having finally taken in the entire picture practically staring him in
the face. Diamond shrieked as she rushed
over to help Red aid Lancy, and K and
“Okay…
now that was kinda funny.”
± ± ±