Season 1, Episode 10:
Catch Her If You Can
Part 8 of 10
She
was in heaven.
“Where in the world is Carmen
Sandiego?”
As
the taxi carrying the three agents who were back from their investigation in
the Biblioteca Ambrosiana took a left turn to the Via
Monte Napoleone road, the prominent shopping street
right in the heart of Milan, Diamond’s eyes sparkled.
“…around
the world from Kiev to Carolina…”
Armani…
“…filcher
from Berlin down to Belize…”
Salvatore
Ferragamo…
“…for
a ride on a slow boat to China…”
Louis
Vuitton…
“Tell
me, where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?”
Gucci…
Face
glued to the window, oblivious to Nick’s constant singing, her eyes sparkled
even more as they read the names of the stores they were passing by.
Pure
heaven. The kind of heaven she’d
consider herself lucky to be in if she was dead and had come back to the world
as a ghost. Oh, how wonderful it would
be to wander through the racks of clothes, shelves of shoes, and lines of bags
for eternity…
Prada.
“Alright,
that’s it,” she mumbled and turned to the taxi driver. “Riesci a tirare su per favore?!”
Nick
and Styx glanced at each other confusingly.
“What did she say?” Nick asked, pointing at Diamond sitting next to him.
Styx
shrugged. “Don’t ask me, dawg, I could
only get the per favore
part.”
Before
the taxi came to a full stop, Diamond threw herself out of the car and yelled
to the fellow agents, “Pay him!”
Nick
and Styx didn’t move an inch, just stared blankly at the foxy former blonde,
who was now standing on the sidewalk right in front of the Prada store. “What are you waiting for?!” she called to
them exasperatedly. “Pay the man, and
get out of the damn car!”
“I
think she’s losing it, dawg,” Styx commented, as Nick took on the command
instantly and did as he was told, motioning Styx to follow him out of the
car. “No offense, she’s sexy and all
that, but I guess all these plane rides messed with her mind.”
Nick
raised his head up and gazed at their surroundings, knowing all too well why
Diamond had rushed out of the taxi.
“Nope.” He sighed. “Being in Milan messed with her mind.” He gave Styx a small pat on the
shoulder. “Let’s go before she
explodes.”
Diamond
had already made her way into the Prada store, her eyes growing big with
anticipation at the luxury inside. Milan, oh dear Milan… Prada… shoes… bags…
Right there! The summer dress she
was dying to buy-
“Argh,
are we seriously gonna let her shop, dawg?!”
Snapped
back to reality by the rookie agent’s comment, Diamond turned on her heels, her
eyes now glaring right through Styx. She
took two steps towards the agent, until her face was merely inches away from
his chest (she hated being small at times like these), and raised her index
finger in a threatening manner, without releasing her gaze from his.
“I’ve
been travelling around the world for God knows how many days now, stuck in
these ugly clothes, not complaining for a second,”
she hissed. “I’ve had to endure all your
childish behavior and bickering, and I haven’t said a word.” She poked his chest with her index finger,
causing the tall man to take a step backwards.
“Now I am in Milan. The shopping
capital of the world. I’m in the Prada
store. Milan. Prada.
And I will shop. As long and as much as my heart desires. And I wouldn’t recommend you standing in my
way, rookie. Understood?”
Speechless,
Styx just nodded, gulping audibly.
“Now
that we’re on the same page…” Diamond
threw her hair over her shoulder and looked around the store, puzzled. “Where do you think I should start? The shoes?
The bags? There’s so much to do
in so little time!”
As
she turned around and started browsing through the racks of clothes, like a
butterfly flying from one flower to another, Nick gave Styx another pat on the
back.
“First
rule of being on a mission with Diamond Divine:
Don’t argue when it comes to shopping.
If you’d like to live, that is.”
± ± ±
Two
hours and at least fifteen shops later, Nick and Styx were leaning against the
outside wall of Valentino, looking expressionlessly at the stylish men and
women passing by the street.
“I
feel queasy,” Nick whined.
“Do
you know there are ninety-one designer stores located only on this street?” Styx turned to face him with blank eyes. “Ninety.
One. And the last time I counted,
we’ve only been to fifteen of them, tops. Which leaves us… I mean, dawg, how many stores
exactly?” He shook his head. “I can’t do the math; my brain is not
functioning.”
Nick
glanced back inside the store, only to see Diamond trying probably her fiftieth
pair of shoes. “That woman is a
robot, I swear. I have to pee, and I’m
starving. Yet she looks like the
Energizer Bunny.” He let out another
sigh. “I think we’re gonna rot here. The last thing my eyes will see is gonna be
another leather clutch from Chanel or a silk summer dress from Dior. Or a pair of peep-toe pumps from Prada. How sad.”
Styx
looked at him incredulously. “Do you
hear yourself?!”
Nick’s
eyes grew wide with realization. “Oh my
god. Not only am I gonna rot and die
here, I’m gonna turn into Lancy before I do!”
“Alright,
I’m done!” Diamond announced, coming out of store, carrying two bags. “You won’t believe the shoes I just bought,
Nick; they’re amazing!” she chirped and then stopped dead on her tracks, her
eyes stuck on the other side of the road. “Yves Saint Laurent!”
Grunting,
two male agents grabbed the rest of the bags from the floor, following Diamond
like a pair of ducklings across the street. “We’ll be waiting outside!” Nick yelled inside
the store, only to get a hand shrug from Diamond. “This is the apocalypse.”
Nick had
only counted five Italian ladies that he would have loved to bless with his
Carter charm, when Styx nudged him roughly in the ribs, pointing across the
street with his head. “Dawg, we have
company. Ten o’clock.”
Reluctantly
releasing his gaze from the Italian girl he was checking out at the café next
to the store, Nick turned his attention to where Styx was pointing. “Shitballs,” he muttered under his breath. “Who knew the Feds had a sense of style?!”
“I’m
going in to let Diamond know,” Styx said and rushed inside, only to come out
with Diamond in tow seconds later.
Trying
to act nonchalant, so they wouldn’t attract attention, Nick looked around. “Alright, we act cool, we just walk slowly up
the street, until we’re out of their sight, and then we’ll just catch a cab and
go back to the hotel.”
The
other two agents nodded as Nick, took a step towards the opposite side of the
street from where the Feds were standing.
“Grab
the bags!”
“Are
you fucking kidding me?!”
Nick
stopped and looked behind him, only to see Diamond, her own hands already full,
motioning for Styx to take the rest of her shopping bags. “I WON’T leave them here!”
“They
are gonna slow us down!” Styx raised his voice exasperatedly.
“They
cost me more than your monthly income, Styx! TAKE. THE.
BAGS!” Diamond yelled back.
He
was about to open his mouth to tell them cut the crap when he saw the federal
agents nudging each other and pointing at them. “Shitballs! They’re onto us! Run!!”
This
was enough to bring Styx and even Diamond back to their senses. Diamond dropped the bags she was carrying in
an instant as they started running down the street, trying to make their way
through the crowds of people.
“What
are we gonna do?!” Styx yelled.
“You
would have thought about that before yelling like a pig in the middle of
street!” Nick yelled back, knocking down an empty chair on the street café. “Shitballs!!”
“There!”
Diamond pointed towards a small street
on the left side. “We can lose them in
there!”
They
rushed across the road and dove straight into the small street Diamond pointed,
receiving loud horns and Italian swears that Nick was glad not to be able to
understand.
The
street they ran into was very small, yet with several boutiques lined side by
side. Without bothering to look back, they entered one of them. There were only a couple of customers inside,
with a sales lady behind the cash register.
Diamond
flipped out her HimTak ID, making sure everyone in the store saw it. “Tu non ci vede.” You did
not see us.
Benefiting
from the baffled expressions they received and hearing the loud footsteps of
the Feds echoing in the deserted street, Nick and Diamond squeezed inside the
only dressing room in the store, hidden by a curtain, while Styx barely found
the time to jump inside a rack of clothing beside it.
They
didn’t even breathe for a couple of seconds following their hiding. The dressing room was too small and stuffy; it
was hard for even one person to fit in. Diamond
felt Nick’s hands on the small of her back; she was pressed tight against his
body. She muffled a laugh and buried her
head into the crook of his neck. Nick’s
body stiffened a little, giving the reaction she knew it would, as she felt his
hands moving even lower.
“Didn’t
know you had a dressing room fantasy, Carter,” she whispered seductively,
toggling the hook of his shirt. “I like
the idea of it, though…”
“If I had a dime for every fantasy I have with
you…” he whispered back huskily, pulling Diamond closer to himself.
“You’d
be a fucking Rockefeller; yeah, we’ve heard.” Styx yanked the curtain open, looking
unsurprised to catch the two agents’ intimacy. “They’re gone.
Not sure if they’ve lost us, but they don’t seem to be anywhere out on
the street. Highly likely that they’re stashed
somewhere to step on our tails, though.” He spoke matter-of-factly.
“Courtesy,
rookie,” Nick hissed, as they both got out of the dressing room. “Common courtesy to KNOCK.”
“On a
curtain?” Styx scoffed over his shoulder, as he walked away.
“You
sounded a lot like K when you spoke to him,” Diamond mumbled behind his back,
eying the now vacant boutique. “Great, we’ve scared off the customers.”
Shrugging,
Nick walked to the entrance and peeked outside. The street looked empty. “How the hell are we gonna get out of here?”
Diamond’s
eyes sparkled with mischief. “I have an
idea,” she said, swinging a brown wig on her finger.
± ± ±
“You
look like a dork.”
“Said
the dork with the blue suede shoes.”
“At
least I ain’t wearing a hideous tan vest inside a navy jacket with a cream tie
with polka dots on it. Over a blue and
white striped shirt.”
“At
least I don’t show my ankles in tight tan pants.”
“At
least I’m not wearing an ugly belt and braces.”
“At
least I don’t have a bright green scarf around my neck.”
“Oh
shut up, you two!” Diamond yelled exasperatedly, trying to place the short
curly brown wig on her head. “I’m the
one who really looks repulsive. Not only
did I lose a whole new designer closet, I had to dress like a clown!”
Nick
and Styx turned their attention to her, trying to stifle their laughter; she
was fuming already, trying to fit her long hair inside the wig, wearing black
and white patterned harem trousers under a bright orange, loose silk top with
leopard print flats.
At
the insistence of the owner of the boutique, who also happened to be the lady
on the cashier, they had to wear the clothes that were on display in the
boutique’s window. Nick wasn’t sure if
the owner was doing it as a favor for brightening up her dull day or as a
punishment for nearly giving her a stroke. He just couldn’t figure out Italians.
He
placed his own black, long-haired wig on his head. Nodding to Styx, who put on the sunglasses and
the fake beard, and looking to see if Diamond was ready, he checked himself out
in the mirror one last time. “Let’s get
the hell out of here, clowns.”
± ± ±
“Finally!”
Diamond sighed, once they got into their hotel room, desperate to take off the
wig. “I thought we’d never make it!”
They
had escaped the boutique without a problem; there had been no traces of the
Feds on the street. Deciding it would be
better to split up, the three agents had all taken different directions once
they hit the main street. The Feds had
separated too, each one guarding a different end of the street, but with the
help of their disguises – which was one of the perks of being in Milan; everyone
was so trendy and fashion-forward that nobody looked weird in their eyes – they
had slipped right under the Feds’ noses.
“Check
this out,” Nick grinned, as he plopped down next to Diamond on the bed and took
out his cell phone, dialing the number he now knew by heart. He was going to miss making these prank calls
once the mission was over.
“H-“
“TOMMY
BOY!!!”
“Carter,”
the federal agent replied calmly.
“Ah,
I feel honored that you recognized my voice immediately this time.” Nick chuckled; he loved doing this. “What a nice little encounter we had today,
didn’t we? If only you could be
civilized enough to just have a decent conversation instead of running around
the streets, then we might be able to understand each other.”
“We’re
on your tail, Carter,” Tom hissed through clenched teeth.
“Yet,
on the wrong tail. You still don’t know
your enemy, I see,” Nick said in his sing-along voice. “Tell me, Tommy Boy, do you know your enemy?”
“Go
on and mock me, for all I care. You have
so little time left. Did you start to
feel my breath on your neck?”
“The
breath of a Fed as blind as a bat!” Nick’s
face lit up. “It has a ring; you hear it,
Tommy Boy?! Next time around, when
you’re on guard, take a second look at the long, black-haired dude walking past
you with a bright green scarf and blue suede shoes. Adios, amigos!!”
“FUCK!!”
Nick
shut down the phone, chuckling to himself. “Ah, I love messing with the Feds!”
“Adios, amigos is Spanish, Nick,” Diamond
stated, rolling her eyes.
“Whatever. It was still so much fun!”
Styx
emerged from the bathroom, having changed back into his own clothes, with his
phone ringing in his hand. “It’s Jay
calling,” he said before answering. “Yeah,
boss?”
“Put me on speaker,” Jay’s voice commanded on the
other side of the line. Styx placed the
phone on the vanity, doing as he was told.
“I’m in Japan right now-”
“Aren’t
you a jetsetter, Jay?” Nick snickered, still too hyped up from his prank call.
“00Carter,
LISTEN. We left Columbia and just landed
in Japan to search for the next clue, but up until now, we’ve seen that the
clues and the crimes don’t match. We
find a clue, we go to the place, but it never leads to the crime scene. She’s fucking with us. But I really do think these clues will take us
to something solid.”
“Or I
better go and get myself handcuffed by the Feds right now,” Nick mumbled to
himself.
“Dude,
Carter, I have awesome hearing, even through the phone. Consider this a warning!” Styx snickered softly and received a smack on
the shoulder from Nick. “Anywho, I was
thinking about our little encounter with the thief back in France-”
“Di-Crapio,”
Nick hissed under his breath.
“CARTER!
I’m getting tired of this, and let me
tell you, I’m not in my best mood when I’m jetlagged! So what the hell was I saying? Oh yeah. I was playing the encounter over again and
again in my head, and I realized that she had mentioned going to Italy while
she was talking with Vitruvian. Saying
that she was going to head there next after France for a small business/pleasure
trip. And the next thing we knew, she’d
stole Da Vinci’s notebook from Milan.”
“Did
she say anything about going to another country, Jay?” Diamond asked, caught up
in Jay’s story.
“I
was just coming to that. Before
Vitruvian and the lady thief started flirting-” Nick made a barfing noise, and Diamond rolled
her eyes, before giving her attention back to Jay. “-we were looking at the glass pyramid outside
the Louvre, and she said she was planning to travel to Egypt soon and quote
‘would love to hold in her hands a piece of Egyptian history’ unquote.”
“So
she’s dumb enough to tell us her next crime scene? What thief in her right mind would do
something like that?”
“I
have no idea, Carter, but she’s playing a cat and mouse game with us. She likes the thrill of being chased, I
guess.”
“So
Egypt it is, then, huh?” Diamond stated, looking rather disappointed. She was so ready to take a hot bubble bath
with a glass of Italian wine. Accompanied
by Nick, preferably.
“Positive,
Diamond. Anyway, I gotta go. Make sure you catch the next plane to Cairo. We don’t have a minute to waste.”
“Alright,
boss,” Styx said.
“Adios,
amigo!”
“Nick,
it’s Spanish!”
± ± ±
Agent
Jay rubbed his temples with his index fingers, after hanging up. “You’re giving me a headache, Carter. A friggin’ headache,” he muttered under his
breath.
He
wasn’t trying to threaten Nick when he’d said he was jetlagged and not in the
best mood. Agent Jay truly hated
suffering from jetlag. And yet again,
there he was, back on the other side of the ocean, losing count of the
countries he’d been to in the past few days.
He didn’t even know the exact date or time zone he was in, for God’s
sake. All he knew now was that it was
daytime, in Japan.
It
was, of course, another indecipherable clue that had lead them all the way from
Columbia to the heart of another country very, very far. Japan,
he thought inwardly, resting his head against the cold window of his hotel room
on the thirty-second floor. Buildings,
buildings with uncountable number of floors, buildings whose shadows were
falling onto each other. Buildings which
made you feel like the smallest, tiniest creature out there. Buildings, made by mankind, yet which looked
otherworldly.
He
had no idea what the latest clue was talking about; South American literature
was not his thing. Yet Opal was
fascinated to see that the latest clue they had deciphered belonged to the
famous novelist Gabriel Garcia Marquez. “Love in the Time of Cholera!” Opal said,
her eyes sparkling with excitement, “the
most romantic book I’ve ever read in my entire life!” It looked like their felon didn’t
specifically prefer a genre when it came to leaving traces behind her, for God
knows whatever reason. Partly because on
his unbearable headache and partly because of his mixed feelings about being in
Japan, Jay had left Opal and Vitruvian alone to trace the next clue.
He
had one place and one place only in his mind to go.
After
two stops, three changes of metro lines, and a fifteen-minute cab ride, he
stopped the car in the middle of a deserted road. Paying the cab driver a couple of extra bucks
and ordering to wait for him, he got out and looked around at his surroundings.
A
wreckage of bricks and concrete, basically; some walls managing to stand, still
resistant to time, but, in total, nothing to remind of the outstanding building
that had once risen just where he stood. The building which was the foundation of the
organization he was a part of. Their home. The original headquarters of Himitsu
Takana. K and Grasshopper had started
their careers here, as well the notorious 007. Jay had only known the place from the
pictures, the videos that were saved after the explosion, and from K’s
memories.
It
was quite tragic, when he thought about it thoroughly – an organization rising
up from its ashes (thanks to K, of course) on the other side of the world,
leaving its roots behind. He stood still
for a moment, paying his respects to the fellow agents who had lost their lives
for the sake of a more peaceful world.
Interrupted
by a sudden buzz on his left hip, Agent Jay groaned. Whoever was on the phone better have important
information to report.
“What
now?” he grumbled into the phone, not checking the identity of the pager.
“And
good afternoon to you, too, Agent 003.”
“Do
you know where I am, K?”
“I
know, but I have good news-“
“Do
you know where I’m standing right now, K?” Jay questioned again. “And why do you sound so happy?”
“Because
we have a face and a name.”
Agent
Jay was caught off-guard, forgetting to inform him he was standing right on the
foundations of HimTak. “Of the book
thief? How is that possible?”
“I’m
gonna keep it short. We got a visual of
her, you know, so I decided to send the image to some of the major media
corporations around the world. Turns
out, our little book thief was already quite popular in the old continent.”
“Europe?”
Jay was confused.
“We
got an immediate response from Denmark, the thief’s home country. Apparently, she was quite popular back there
as well.”
“Give
me the profile.”
“Tanja
Copenhagen-“
“Copenhagen?”
Jay couldn’t help but let out a snicker. “Tanja Copenhagen, from Denmark?! Are we sure this is her real name and not
another alias?”
Jay
could hear his superior’s soft chuckle on the other side of the line. “I know, that was my first reaction when I
heard the name. But they faxed me her ID,
and looks like it’s her real name.”
“Fair
enough.”
“I
have more to share, hang on. It’s also
known that she worked for the Denmark National Library back in the day, which
explains her fetish for books and how she could get into the security system in
the Library of Congress. She has
extensive knowledge about the backdoors of libraries, and from the looks of it,
she had plenty of time to practice while working in Denmark.”
“Do
we have any information about why she keeps stealing precious books all around
the world?”
“Not
really. Her former employers said she
was a brilliant employee, always treating the books with care and incredible
devotion. Great at archiving, knew most
of the books by heart, and so on. Earned
herself the nickname ‘Walking Database’ for her extensive knowledge.”
“Who
would have thought loving the books could be a crime?”
“It becomes
a crime when you start stealing some of the most valuable ones and impersonating
other people to blame for your thefts.”
“Fair
enough.”
“What’s
the status on the latest clue?”
Jay
sighed, rubbing his hand slowly across his forehead. “Opal and Vitruvian are working on it.”
“You
better join them. Looks like they’ve got
a lead on that. Just got the memo.” K hesitated before continuing. “And Jay, you won’t find any trace in the old
HQ. The place is torn apart.”
Jay
rolled his eyes. Did K always have to
know everything?
± ± ±
“What
do we got?” Jay asked, the minute he approached Leo and Opal, now sitting at
the bar of their hotel.
“We’ve
found the next clue, Jay,” Opal said, her eyes sparkling. She was holding a piece of paper in her hands
delicately, like it was the most precious thing. She placed the paper in front of Jay for him
to take a look at it.
Nösrychb anihq Vuha Fpkg'kfk
Ceyndov'b ilq ehtsha cbşo bqih vugkce
cx hdiinenq, govlo.
Iqinnhnq ahe lçleyn, emşinp nndyqml, gkhahcq çlrhha
eb hqne iqp lchoeb cndvokny
rhtpce,
aw akinddni, fw anddnq
govlo.
Ahuhdrle ni ahqhhcql,
iqs nhpa açlmhfqmd,
khy nyle lepfele ldrckh awhhwğwkv,
ax kâebq govlo....
Kgşfhha iqp cğbç aqio qne eb lüp
eb iqt lslck boiq ahsneşçeqmdn,
av phtsyq iqvos...D
Jay
looked at the paper. “Am I supposed to
understand this?” He took a second
glance at the writings. “They don’t even
form a sentence.”
“Because
it’s a poem,” Leo interrupted, pointing the first paragraph. “This is the longest clue we’ve ever gotten up
until now, and it’s in sections.”
Jay
turned his attention back to the piece of paper, studying the letters
carefully.
“It’s
Playfair,” Opal burst, unable to hold herself until
Jay was finished examining. “Playfair, the cipher that was used in this clue. I
recognized it immediately.” She looked
down sheepishly before continuing. “It
was one of the most interesting ones, for me, at least. I wrote a research
paper about it back in college.”
“So
what is this Playfair?”
Already
eager to share all her knowledge, Opal started to tell. “Playfair is a digraph substitution cipher,
mainly. It was founded back in the nineteenth
century by Charles Wheatstone. The
cipher uses a five-by-five table containing a key word or phrase. The system goes like this: for example, the letter S is removed from the
alphabet, and an H takes its place in the text that is to be encoded. It’s not commonly used anymore, though,
because any modern computer software can solve it in a few minutes.” She patted her laptop. “We only need to find which letters were used
and what the keyword is.”
“Her
intelligence scares me,” Leo piped up.
Nodding,
Jay had another question in mind. “Do either
of you have any idea what those letters could be? Or the keyword?”
Leo
shook his head. “We’ve been racking our
brains, but none of the things we came up with worked.”
Opal
scratched her head slowly, her eyes fixed on the paper. “I know we’re missing something; we’re not
seeing something here…” she mumbled. “Nineteenth century… Wheatsone…
Playfair. It
was used for the Cuban Missile Crisis… JFK used it back in the negotiations
with the Soviets… I GOT IT!”
Startled,
both Leo and Jay turned their attention to Opal, who was now scribbling
something on another piece of paper. “It
has to be this one.”
Jay
glanced the paper. “J to F, and Kennedy as the key word?”
She
nodded. “It was used by John F. Kennedy
in 1962, during the Cuban Missile Crisis, for their negotiations with the
Soviets to remove the missiles…” She
turned to her laptop and started typing vehemently. “… and ENTER.”
Her
face beamed with happiness when she looked at the results. “There you go, gentlemen.” She turned the laptop around for the other two
agents to see.
Dörtnala gelip Uzak Asya'dan
Akdeniz'e bir kısrak başı gibi uzanan
bu memleket, bizim.
Bilekler kan içinde, dişler kenetli, ayaklar çıplak
ve ipek bir halıya benziyen toprak,
bu cehennem, bu cennet bizim.
Kapansın el kapıları, bir daha açılmasın,
yok edin insanın insana kulluğunu,
bu dâvet bizim....
Yaşamak bir ağaç gibi
tek ve hür
ve bir orman gibi kardeşçesine,
bu hasret bizim...
“What
language is that?” Leo asked. “Nothing
I’ve come across before.”
Turning
around the laptop towards herself again, Opal typed more. “I should have known.” She smirked.
Jay
eyed Leo, before leaning over the table to take a look at the screen. “Turkish?”
Opal
nodded. “The cipher was used to remove
the missiles in Turkey after the crisis. It only makes sense that she put the clue in
Turkish.” She looked from Jay to Leo. “Pack your bags, guys. We have another long flight ahead of us.”
± ± ±