BEHIND THE SCENES

with PROFESSOR PEARL

 

 

Tape #010:  Bang, Bang, Choo-Choo Train

[Posted 9.05.11]

 

“Oh yeah… right there… that’s perfect.”

 

Nick kept his ear to the door, his brows rising. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Maybe Jay was right. Maybe Pearl was having an affair with K. His jaw set, he felt personally insulted that she’d want K over him. These past years, he’d always figured she rebuffed his advances to keep him interested in the chase.

 

“What are you doing?” Leo asked as he walked down the steps. Nick narrowed his eyes. Great, more competition. At least he’s an idiot.

 

“Shhh!” He waved him off, trying to listen to whatever was going down in Pearl’s laboratory. Leo leaned up against the door, wanting to know what Nick was suddenly so interested in.

 

“Oh… oh… oh my God.”

 

The other agent’s expression changed. “She’s…”

 

“I don’t knooooow. I keep trying to listen, and you keep interrupting!” Nick retorted in hushed tones.

 

“Yeah… yeah, that’s right; I just need to turn your knob a bit. Bet that feels good…”

 

Footsteps could be heard again. This time, they belonged to their superior, none other than Agent Jay, who watched them with a bemused expression. “Why are we spying?”

 

“Dude… you gotta hear this… She’s definitely got something going down!” Nick whispered excitedly.

 

Jay blinked, his eyes suddenly looked distant as he too went up to put his ear against the door. “No way… Pearl and Emerald are finally…”

 

Nick stared at him. “Pearl and Avril? Wow, that’s…” He’d never admit it, but there was something undeniably appealing about the images that popped in his head at the mere suggestion.

 

The three agents found themselves doing their damnedest to hear every little bit of whatever was happening on the other side of the door. Footsteps interrupted their spying, and now, Emerald came into view. Jay cursed to himself in pure disappointment.

 

“Okay, what the fuck?”

 

Leo glanced over.  “Pearl and K, we think, are getting it on in there.”

 

Nick snickered. “Jay thought it was you in there with her.”

 

Emerald gave Jay a questioning look, but didn’t comment. Instead, she ,too, went to listen. The four of them nudged one another aside, each trying to get a better position to hear exactly what was going on.

 

“Oh yeah, download to my instant data, give me a socket, and I can plug it in…” Pearl could be heard giggling. “Bang, bang, choo-choo train… baby, put that thing on me…”

 

Nick glanced over at Jay. “Wasn’t K’s old alias Train?”

 

Jay nodded silently, his eyes widening.

 

Emerald kept listening. “This shit’s better than cable.”

 

You want me to flip the switch out so I-I can be your victim…” Pearl said in a sing song voice.

 

“If K can have her, I can…” Leo muttered.

 

“You wish Lame-onardo…” Nick retorted, still irritated that Pearl rebuffed him only to hook up with someone else. He’d always accepted it because Pearl never got involved with any HimTak agent that way. Sure, they’d been best friends, but Pearl, Pearl was attractive…  He’d always have fantasies of the things he could do to her…

 

…Things K was doing to her.

 

They were so involved at this point, each trying to picture what was going on, none of them were paying attention to what they were doing. They kept shifting, still searching for the spot they could hear best from. Amidst the shuffling, a hand went above their heads, hitting the switch that opened the door. The four of them fell into the doorway, eyes peeled to see what was happening. They each stood, brushing themselves off. Nick was the first to react.

 

Pearl stood in front of them, modeling some set of hideous leopard skin cowboy boots, a matching hat, along with a western-styled outfit in front of the mirror. Bullet holes could be seen in the wall, with a tiny gun emerging from her belt buckle. She stared at the four of them.

 

Lancy could be seen behind her, wearing an almost identical version of the same outfit, only slightly more masculine. Too masculine, really, for Lancy’s typical tastes. Clearly, the two had been modeling Pearl’s latest clothing weaponry, and Nick felt a sheepish grin form on his face.

 

The two shared a glance before Pearl spoke up, eyeing Nick in particular. “Do I even want to know?”

 

 

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