*The plan is for this episode to be short, so we actually
can write it in time. Not to mention it’s not a “real” episode, it’s more of a
holiday special lol. Anywho,
the plan is for each person to write ONE part. We’re writing this in song fic
form, you know, the poem centered in italics, then we have the actual scene.
Poem again, then scene…etc. The parts must be tailored to fit the poem.
“12 Hours Before Christmas”
(Introduction…where we have both Drums and Nick hosting the
holiday special like cheesy Disney special hosts did. Go over the top on the
stiffness of the introductions of these “classic holiday tales that shall teach
us all what Christmas is all about”)
‘Twas 12 hours before Christmas, and all through HimTak,
All
the agents were snoozing; even me, with a snack.
Stockings
were hung along dorms with great care,
Even
though Agent K really didn't want them there.
Now
the agents were bustling all through the halls,
While
Diamond and Lancy made plans for the mall,
Jay
with his fedora, me with my mistletoe hat,
Had
just parted ways so I could take a nap,
When
down in Pearl’s lab there arose such a clatter,
I
sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away
to the lab I ran like a flash,
I
tripped down some stairs but avoided a gash,
And
there by the table, I saw standing tall,
My
boss, Agent K, not like himself at all,
Decked
out like St. Nick while a happy tune blared,
I
was shocked when he smiled instead of just glared.
With
a look on K’s face so enraged and inflamed,
I
had a bad feeling it was me who’d be blamed,
He
stared us all down and the crowd quickly scattered,
Though
he called a few back, ones he must have thought mattered;
“Come
Diamond, come Lancy, come Pearl, come Jewel!
I’ve
got some big news about crimes most cruel!
Come
Jay, Nick, and Emerald, I’ll be needing you too,
And
Carter – don’t think I’m done dealing with you.” – Rose *FINISHED*
[break]
As
I looked out the window of our private jet,
I
wondered if we were there yet?
The
last time I flew anywhere cold was due South,
With
K’s Country Cousin and his smart-aleck mouth.
Moving
on, anyway, K soon did announce,
That
we’d arrived in New York, and it was time to bounce,
We
took a few moments to sit down and think,
Of
where we might next find that evil eye’s blink.
Then
hit me at once, like a ton of fruitcake,
If
it’s Christmas he’s after, it’s the toys he’ll take!
So
off we all rushed to the biggest toy store,
Little
did FANS know they’d be leaving there sore.
My
creations – they twinkled! They all looked so merry!
Pearl
said my idea was so brilliant, it was scary.
Though
it made me quite happy, getting credit where due,
I
wasn’t sure if she noticed this was so 1992.
We
waited and waited, ‘til 12 that night,
No
Rough did appear, just two elves in our sight.
One
had a narrow face and the other a goatee,
One
called the other Jon, the other said Danny.
They
were dressed like morons – I mean, jolly old elves,
And
I tried not to laugh at them, in spite of myself.
My
heartbeat grew faster as I watched from above,
As
that dumbass Jon reached for the two turtledoves.
Now
covered in feathers and buckets of tar,
They
must not have realized that they wouldn’t get far,
‘Cause
onward they went, all through the shop,
Finding
more of my traps at every last stop.
I
looked down from above as they walked under my feet,
Now
it was time to choose which one to beat… up. -
Gozde
[break]
As
we watched while the cops hauled our crooks far away,
I
looked up and I saw a really strange flying sleigh.
It
was black with red trim and a ferret on the side,
And
who should it be but Drums steering this ride.
My
laughter unleashed as he lowered his flight,
With
antlers on his head and his nose all alight!
He
frowned and he glared, as he shouted to us,
“You
won this time, jerks, but you’ll still eat our dus’!
We’ll
be back for ya all and ya better beware,
‘cuz
when we’re through wit’ you, ya won’t gots a prayer!”
I
was pissed that he sped off in such a bright flash,
But
K grabbed at my arm as I started to dash.
“It’s
not worth it, Carter,” he called out to me,
“It’s
already Christmas, let’s go home to our tree.”
Although
very surprised at K’s jolly advice,
I
had to agree, and for now it sufficed.
I
finally relaxed as I lay in my bed,
With
visions of Diamond’s “Christmas gift” in my head,
Until
I heard bells and a laugh like a boom,
That
caused me to run halfway across my room,
Would
you believe when I looked out my window that night,
That
I got to see Santa before he drove out of sight?
He
gave me a smile and a wave of his hand,
“Try
harder this year to be good, my young man,
Right
now, though, go to sleep! Celebrate your good plan!
I’m
very impressed that you knew such a trick,
But
I’m mostly quite grateful! Merry Christmas, dear Nick!”
- Mel
We’re writing this as two separate mini-episodes. One is the
story from HimTak’s POV, the other from the FANS crew
POV. Be sure to remain consistent to what happens in the 00Carter episode when
the scenes mesh!
“How Dr. Rough Stole Christmas”
(A transition, talk about the last book, the lessons they
may have learned. Introduce the next story in the same cheesy style LOL) *Still needs to be done, but will be after
the HimTak Tale is finished* - Julie
Every
agent down at HimTak
Liked
Christmas a lot,
But
DR. ROUGH,
The
nemesis of HimTak, did NOT!
Dr.
Rough hated Christmas! The whole
Christmas season!
You
wanna know why? I'll tell you the
reason:
It
wasn't that his head wasn't screwed on quite right;
Dr.
Rough hated Christmas because of his height!
Though
twisted and evil, he had pity for all
The
creatures mistreated because they are small,
And
Santa, you see, works his elves like they're slaves,
Forcing
them to make toys without makin’ bank.
Plotting
deep in his lair, with his trademark eye twitch,
Dr.
Rough forged a plan to fix this injustice,
For
he knew the whole world, which would soon be his,
Was
supporting slave labor by asking for gifts.
"I'll
start a revolution!" he snarled with a sneer.
"A
crusade, a boycott of Christmas this year!"
Then
he growled, with his left eye nervously twitching,
And
thought, "This will never work how I'm wishing!"
For
tomorrow, he knew, all the mamas and pops
Would
wake up bright and early. They'd rush to
the shops!
They'd
buy all the toys made in sweat shops by elves.
With
those Black Friday deals, why, they'd clear the shelves!
And
the elves, young and old, wouldn't earn a dime
For
all their hard work and all of their time.
Santa,
the Big Man, would make a gold mine
Off
the little guys' work on the assembly line,
Which
was something Dr. Rough thought just didn't seem right!
And
the more he thought of this elf injustice,
The
more Rough thought, "I must stop this whole mess!
But
change doesn't come without shit going down.
I
MUST start a jihad on Christmas!
...
But HOW?"
Then
he got an idea!
An
awful idea!
DR.
ROUGH
GOT
A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I
know just what to do!" Dr. Rough told his crew,
And
he rented a Santa suit and some elf costumes,
And
he cackled and crowed, "What a genius I am!
With
these festive costumes, we'll stick it to The Man!"
"All
we need is a reindeer..." Dr. Rough started to say,
But,
see, reindeer don't live in the Everglades.
Did
that stop Dr. Rough? Oh hells no, no way!
"If
I can't find a reindeer, then Drums will guide my sleigh!"
"Aw,
hells no, dat's whack!" I cried in dismay.
"But
Drums, you've got the red eye to light my way!"
SO…
He dressed me in fur, stuck some antlers on my head.
I
didn't feel like no pimp; I'da rather been dead,
But
Dr. Rough said, "Too bad!" and made us start packin'
And
flew us to New York to put his plan into action. –
Julie *FINISHED*
[break]
All
the windows were dark. All the doors
were locked.
All
the New Yorkers were dreaming sweet dreams and nice thoughts,
When
the FANS agents came to the new house on the block.
"This
is stop number one," the evil Dr. Rough hissed,
And
he sent Donnie to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
The
minion slid down the chimney, a rather tight squeeze,
But
if fat Santa could do it, so could little Donnie.
He
got stuck only once, for a moment or two,
Then
he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue,
He
brushed himself off, then scurried to the door
To
let in the others, tracking soot on the floor.
Then
we slithered and slunk, with smiles most unpleasant,
Around
the whole room, and we took every present!
Tech
decks! And Barbies! Heelies! The Wii!
Guitar
Hero! iPods! Twilight on DVD!
And
we stuffed them in bags, till they'd hold no more.
Then
we hauled all our loot, bag by bag, out the door!
In
his tricked-out red sleigh, Rough packed it with glee.
"And
NOW!" grinned the Doc, "We will go steal the tree!"
Dr.
Rough grabbed the tree, and he started to push,
'Til he felt a small hand poke him hard in the tush.
He
turned around fast, and he saw a small niña,
Little
Dora the Explorer, who cried, "Papa Noel!
Nice to meet ya!"
Dr.
Rough had been caught by this cute Latina daughter,
Who'd
gotten out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She
stared at Dr. Rough and said, "Papa Noel, why?
Why
are you taking our Christmas tree?
Why?"
But,
you know, Dr. Rough is so smart and so slick,
He
thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why,
mi dulce niña," the
fake Santa Claus lied,
"There's
a light on this tree that won't light on one side.
So
I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.
I'll
whip my elf slaves till they fix it and bring it back here."
Dora
stared up at him and said, "That's a lie!
If
there's a bulb that's burnt out, just get a new string of lights!
You're
not the real Santa; you don't have a white beard!
Your
skin is too dark, and your eye twitches weird!
Santa's
s'posed to be fat, with cheeks like a cherry torte,
But
you're much too skinny, small, and SHORT!"
Ohh
bitches, it was on! Rough drew back with
a scowl.
"You
insolent brat!" he hissed. "Watch your mouth!
When
I rule the world, those who mock me shall suffer!
Starting
with you and that meddling Carter!
You'll
pay for all your tormenting and sniping!"
But
Dora just screamed, "SANTA, NO SWIPING!"
"NO
SWIPING, SANTA!" she continued to shriek.
Doors
opened, and lights flipped on across the street.
"Bail!"
Dr. Rough cried, as he fled to his sleigh.
In
piled the minions, and we raced away,
Leaving
Dora's family in their empty house,
With
nothing but a crumb too small for a mouse. – Lore *FINISHED*
[break]
In
eleven days, FANS robbed near a dozen more houses
Leaving
crumbs much too small for a dozen more mouses
And
on the twelfth day, the twenty-fourth of December,
Passing
skaters in the Plaza, enjoying the weather,
Dr.
Rough sent his minions on the ultimate scheme:
Rob
F.A.O. Schwartz and blow up the big tree!
Ninety
feet tall, in the center of Rockefeller,
Rigged
to explode in a blast quite stellar!
"Despair
to the world!" he was wickedly humming.
"This
catasrophe should keep Christmas from coming!
When
the tree goes up in flames, I know just what they'll do!
Their
mouths will hang open for a minute or two,
Then
all the New Yorkers in the City will cry, BOO-HOO!"
"That's
a noise," grinned Dr. Rough, "That I simply must hear!"
So
he paused. And Dr. Rough put a hand to his ear.
And
he did hear a sound echoing through the skyscrapers.
It
started out soft and began to taper...
But
then it was back! This wail was not
crying!
He
couldn't be merry, for it was a police siren!
He
stared as the NYPD car raced by.
The
sight inside made Dr. Rough pop his eyes!
Then
he shook; what he saw was a shocking surprise!
The
minions from the toy store were handcuffed inside!
"Dr.
Rough, come in!" my voice crackled in his ear.
"Jon
and Danny been caught; we gotsta flee here!"
Every
minion in FANS, the tall and the small,
Were
running, without any stolen toys at all!
He
HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT
CAME!
Somehow
or other, it came just the same!
And
Dr. Rough, with his dainty feet cold in the snow,
Stood
puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It
be HimTak again, yo," I said in his ear.
"That
Carter and his posse, they found out, and they here!
They
onto us - caught the New Kids in the sto-
Set
up booby traps and then called the po-po!"
And
what happened then? Well, in FANS, we say
That
Dr. Rough's rage grew three sizes that day!
[Nick:
*cough* ...But not his height.]
Yo,
Carter, dat's whack!
You know dat ain't right!
Don't
you be dissing Master, or we gonna fight!
Now
where the hell was I in dis rap anyway?
Oh
yeah - as we fled to the airfield and got on our plane,
Dr.
Rough looked out the window, and then he done say,
"I'LL
GET YOU, NICK CARTER! I'LL GET YOU
SOMEDAY!" – Julie
*ADD ON* [Outro/Ending] – Similar
to the intro and interlude, group song, fighting, and randomness lol. – Julie/Rose