Chapter 10
“Bianca!”
As soon as Bianca saw her mother and father in the airport, she
burst into tears. Her parents hurried
over to her, and her mother threw her arms around her and pulled her into a
hug. “Oh, baby…” she whispered,
smoothing Bianca’s auburn hair as Bianca sobbed.
It was the day after AJ’s funeral, and Bianca had returned to
North Carolina, to the place where she had grown up, the place where her
parents lived. She had to get away from
Florida, get away from the other guys, get away from everything. But although she could escape the place where
AJ had been killed, she could not escape the pain. It was just as bad here in North Carolina as
it had been in Florida.
“Honey… are you going to be okay?” Bianca’s father asked, looking
at her in concern.
Bianca glared up at him through her tears. “What do you think?” she snapped. He looked hurt, and she sighed. “I’m sorry, Dad,” she whispered. “I’m just… I don’t know…”
“We understand, dear,” her mother said quickly. “We know how horrible this is for you. If there’s anything we can do to make this
easier…”
“Just take me home,” Bianca interjected dully. “I just want to go home.”
Her parents nodded. “Let’s
go get your luggage, and then we’ll go straight home,” said her father. He patted her on the shoulder, and her mother
put an arm around her as they walked slowly off towards the baggage claim area.
On the way home, Bianca stared blankly out the window, watching
the familiar scenery pass by without really seeing it. When the car pulled into the driveway of her
parents’ home, the house where she had grown up, she climbed out of the car and
walked quickly up to the front door. Her
father got her suitcases, and her mother hurried up to unlock the front door
for her.
Without a word, Bianca walked into the house and went straight
upstairs to her old bedroom. It looked
very bare; most of her old furniture was still there, but her possessions were
gone. They were still at AJ’s
house. She didn’t mind though; the room
looked exactly like she felt – empty. It
seemed fitting.
Bianca flopped down on her old bed, burying her face in the
pillows. She lay like that for a long
time, ignoring her father when he came to bring in her luggage, shrugging off
her mother when she came to try to comfort her daughter. She didn’t want them with her. The only one she wanted was AJ, but he was
gone. She was alone.
***
A few hours later, there was a soft knock on Bianca’s door. Bianca ignored it. With a soft click, the door opened, and
Bianca quickly shut her eyes, pretending to be asleep.
“Bianca?” her mother asked gently.
“Sweetie, are you awake? There’s someone
here to see you.” Bianca ignored her,
keeping silent and still. “It’s
Brianna,” her mother added.
Bianca hesitated for a moment, then rolled over to face her
mother. “Brianna’s here?” she asked, her
voice hoarse from crying.
“Yes,” said her mother. “I
told her you might not want to see her, but you really should and talk to her
for a few minutes, honey. She’s your
best friend, you haven’t seen her in months, and she’s really concerned about
you.”
Bianca wiped her eyes. She
knew her mother was right. She couldn’t
ignore Brianna, who had been her best friend for many years. “Alright,” she said, slowly sitting up. “Tell her to come on up here.”
Her mother smiled. “I
will,” she said and went back downstairs.
Bianca listened as her footsteps faded, then got up from the bed
and crossed the room to her old dresser.
She glanced at herself in the mirror hanging over the dresser and
grimaced. She looked like hell. Her hair was flat and matted from lying down,
her skin looked white, her cheeks were blotchy and tearstained, and her eyes
were bloodshot and puffy. She sniffled,
blinked, and tried to force a smile on to her face, but the thought of smiling
only made her want to cry again. How
could she ever be happy enough to smile again?
It felt like every day from now on would be like this, and she would be
cursed with eternal sadness.
Just then, there was a knock on the already open door. “Bean?” came a familiar voice.
Bianca turned around to find her best friend, Brianna Chambers,
standing in the doorway of her room.
Fresh tears filled her eyes at the sight of her.
“Oh, Bean,” Brianna cried, running across the room and enveloping
Bianca in a tight hug. “Oh my God, Bean.
I can’t believe it! I just can’t
believe it!” Bianca could do nothing but
sob, as she clutched on to Brianna.
“Come on, Bianca, let’s sit down,” said Brianna, slowly guiding her over
to the bed. They sat down, and Bianca
furiously rubbed her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she sniffed.
“I didn’t want to break down like this again.”
“Bean, it’s okay!” cried Brianna.
“You should be crying!”
“Well, good, cause that’s pretty much all I’ve done the past few
days,” Bianca replied, swallowing hard.
The past few days. It
was such a short amount of time. Bianca
couldn’t believe that just a few days ago, AJ had been alive. She had been so happy. How could her life have taken such a drastic
turn so suddenly?
“So how did you hear about it?” Bianca asked Brianna. “I tried to call you over and over again, but
you were never home.”
“Yeah, I was in Alabama, visiting Nicole. You know, she’s living down there now. We heard about it on the news. I just got home a couple days ago and called
your mom, and she said you were coming home right after the funeral. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
“It’s not your fault,” said Bianca. “So how’s Nicole?” She wanted to change the subject, to have a
normal conversation with Brianna, not talk about AJ and cry.
“What? Oh, she’s fine,”
Brianna replied, looking at Bianca in concern. “But who cares about that? I’m worried about you, Bean. I can’t even imagine how this must feel.”
“Where’s Jason?” Bianca asked, ignoring Brianna’s comments,
determined to stay off the subject of AJ and how she was handling his death.
“He’s at my parents’ house,” answered Brianna. Jason was her three-year-old son. “And Bean, please stop trying to change the
subject. You should talk about this, you
really should. I know how you keep stuff
bottled up. It’s not healthy.”
“Stop trying to sound like a psychologist, Bree!” snapped
Bianca. “I don’t want to talk about it,
okay? It only makes it worse.”
“I’m sorry, Bean,” Brianna said sincerely. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” Bianca mumbled. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. I’m just… upset… right now. I… I don’t know…” She shook her head, blinking back tears,
furious at herself for being so weak.
Why couldn’t she stop crying? She
was an emotional wreck. She was supposed
to be strong, independent. Now she was
like a little girl. A crying, sniffling
little girl.
“Bianca, that’s totally understandable,” said Brianna, her voice
filled with sympathy and understanding.
“I know I don’t really know what you’re going through, but I’ve been
through shit in my life too. You know
that. I cried a lot too. You need to cry. Just let it out.”
Bianca realized Brianna had a point, for Brianna, too, had been
through tough times. When she was a
senior in high school, she had fallen in love with a wonderful man… or so she
thought. But she got pregnant, and when
he found out, he split. She had never
heard from him since, and her son, Jason, had never known his father. Brianna had planned to go to college, to have
a career, but all her plans had changed.
She didn’t go to college.
Instead, she worked minimum-wage jobs and accepted loans from her
parents in order to support Jason. All
her dreams were gone, and everything she did now, she did it for her son. She had lost someone she loved too, not by
death, but by betrayal. So in a way, she
had been through what Bianca was going through now.
“Thanks, Bree,” whispered Bianca, giving her friend a hug.
Brianna hugged her back.
“No problem, girl.”
***
