Chapter 17
When Bianca left Barnes and Noble that
evening, AJ followed, slipping through the car door into the passenger
seat. He had discovered that he didn’t
really need to use human means of transportation to get around anymore; if he
concentrated hard enough on a certain place, he could just go there, like
teleportation. But tonight he chose to
ride in the car with Bianca. Even if she
did not know he was there, AJ always felt best when he was with her.
Bianca pulled out of her parking
space, drove through the parking lot, and turned onto the highway. As she drove, AJ watched her. She looked straight ahead, her eyes on the
road, her face blank and emotionless.
She did not turn on the radio, as she had always done in the past, but
drove in silence.
When she pulled the car into the
massive garage of AJ’s house and climbed out, AJ got out with her and followed
her into the house. Bianca kicked off
her shoes and dropped her purse at the door, then went straight upstairs to her
bedroom. She sat down on her bed and
stared into space for a few minutes.
Then she rose, stood there a moment, and then left the room. Again, AJ followed. They went downstairs to the rec room, where
there was a big screen TV and a large stereo, among other things. Bianca turned on the stereo and chose a CD
from the enormous collection. Peering
over her shoulder, AJ saw that it was a LeAnn Rimes CD. AJ wrinkled his nose; he had never been much
of a country fan. She chose a track and
hit play. As the song started, AJ
recognized it as “How Do I Live”, one of the few LeAnn Rimes songs he knew
well.
How do I
Get through a night without
you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be
Oh, I
I need you in my arms
Need you to hold
You’re my world, my heart , my soul
As the song played, Bianca slumped
down on the large couch. AJ came over
and sat down beside her. On closer
inspection, he saw that she had begun to cry.
If you ever leave
Baby, you would take away everything
Good in my life
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever
Ever survive
How do I
How do I
Oh, how do I live
“Bianca,” he whispered, watching her
sadly. “Please don’t cry, Bean. Please…”
But she cried anyway, her shoulders shaking with silent tears.
Without you
There’d be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There’d be no world left for me
And I
Baby, I don’t know what I would do
I’d be lost if I lost you
AJ had only seen Bianca cry once or
twice before this. The Bianca he had
known was either too strong or too stubborn to cry. But this Bianca was much different. This Bianca was an utter wreck, sobbing
quietly, yet endlessly, on the couch.
And it was him she was sobbing for.
It was him that had made her this way.
If you ever leave
Baby, you would take away everything
Real in my life
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever
Ever survive
How do I
How do I
Oh, how do I live
“Why, AJ?” Bianca whispered softly,
rubbing her eyes, as the song faded.
“Why did you have to leave me?”
“I haven’t left you!” AJ cried from
beside her. “I’m still here with you,
Bean! If only you could know that.”
But she couldn’t. Bianca was falling apart. And AJ could do nothing but sit by and watch.
***
“… And in other news, the search continues for
twenty-three-year-old Becky Cooper, who disappeared from her residence near
Orlando, Florida three days ago. She was
last seen by her boyfriend, Kurtis Mitchell, around eleven pm on the night of
December 10 and was reported missing the next day. As of now, the police have no leads and are
asking anyone who might have any information on Becky’s whereabouts to call-“
It was the following evening, and Bianca was watching the five
o’clock news when her attention was suddenly drawn away from the report by the
sound of the phone ringing. Pressing the
mute button on the TV remote, she picked up the phone and checked the caller
ID. Seeing that it was Howie, she
quickly turned on the phone and pressed it to her ear.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Bianca, it’s Howie,” came Howie’s voice on the other line.
“Hey, Howie,” Bianca replied.
“What’s up?”
“Not too much. I was just
wondering… uh… Krystle and I were gonna go out to dinner tomorrow night, and we
thought maybe you would want to come with us.”
“Come with you?” Bianca asked in surprise. “Why would I want to come with you and
Krystle on a date? No offense or
anything, but…” She trailed off,
figuring he got the point, confused as to why he would ask her something like
that. Did he really think she was so
pathetically lonely that she would enjoy being the third wheel on one of their
dates?
“No, no, it’s not like that,” Howie assured her quickly. “It wouldn’t be like a date, just like a…
well, I dunno, a friend thing. You know,
we haven’t hung out together in a long time.
Not since… well, you know…”
Bianca knew. She, AJ, Howie, and
Krystle had often done things together.
But AJ was not around to do things anymore. “… and,” Howie continued, “Nick will be
there.”
“Nick? Oh, come on, Howie,
don’t tell me you’re going to try to fix me up with Nick!” Bianca cried.
“No!” Howie said. “No, not
at all! Krys and I just thought it would
be nice for… for the four of us to get together. You know, just to talk and hang out and
stuff. Nick… Nick’s taking AJ’s death
pretty hard too, you know. It might do
us good to get together, all of us.
Well, except Brian and Kevin, of course, since they don’t live here,
but.”
“Okay,” Bianca said, to cut off Howie’s rambling. “Yeah, I guess it would be nice to see Nick
and Krystle again.” It was a lie; she
really didn’t want to see Krystle or Nick, but she could tell Howie really
wanted the four of them to get together, so she accepted.
“Great!” said Howie. They
made dinner plans for the following night and hung up.
***
The next night, Bianca reluctantly got
up as Howie’s SUV pulled up in front of the house. She pasted a smile on her face as she left
the house and got into the backseat beside Nick.
“Hey, guys,” she said in what she hoped was a cheerful voice.
“Hey, Bianca,” Howie, Krystle, and Nick all chorused in reply, but
Howie was the only one who actually sounded glad to see her.
“So how are you doing, Bianca?” Krystle asked after a few minutes
of uncomfortable silence. Her voice was
filled with concern, but Bianca could not tell if it was fake or not.
“Okay,” Bianca replied.
“Some days are better than others.”
“Oh, you poor thing. Well,
Howie and I are here for you. If there’s
ever anything you need, anything at all, just let us know,” Krystle went on
sympathetically. “Right, Howie?”
“Right,” Howie agreed.
Bianca smiled.
“Thanks.” She glanced over at
Nick and found him looking back at her.
As their eyes met, both of them looked away, Nick suddenly becoming very
interested in the scenery outside his window. “So… uh… Nick,” Bianca said after a
moment. “How are you doing? I haven’t talked to you in awhile.”
“I know,” Nick said, glancing quickly at her, then at his
lap. “I’m… all right, I guess.” He left it at that, and Bianca did not press
him for more. Despite their differences,
she understood him perfectly right then.
At least she thought she did.
***
