Chapter 33
“What?!” Bianca cried. “You
think I tried to kill myself?!
What, that I… I purposely slammed my car into a guardrail?!”
“Shh, calm down, Bianca, calm down. I just had to ask you. It’s been known to happen before – people
suffer tragic losses, then grow desperate, take some pills, and attempt suicide,”
Dr. Franklin explained calmly.
“Well, that’s not what I did!
And I didn’t take any drugs!” Bianca shouted, her face burning with
anger and humiliation.
“Okay, okay, calm down,” said Dr. Franklin in a soothing tone, as
if he were talking to a hyperactive five-year-old.
“I’m done talking,” Bianca announced boldly. “I want to be alone now.”
Dr. Franklin studied her in silence for a moment, his lips pressed
tightly together. Finally, he gave a
short nod. “Very well,” he said. “Take care, Bianca. If you’d like to talk again later, just ask
Nurse Betsy, and she’ll-“
“Thank you,” Bianca said firmly, cutting him off.
Dr. Franklin gave her a dark look, but forced a pleasant smile on
his face and nodded. “Goodbye then.”
“Bye.”
Then Dr. Franklin left, and the tears came.
***
While Bianca yelled at the psychiatrist at the hospital, AJ sulked
around his house, thoroughly depressed.
His last plan to reach Bianca had failed… and now Lindy was gone. He was all alone… except for Brian. And that just happened to be the person who had
just pulled into the driveway of AJ’s (Bianca’s, technically) mansion.
AJ did not see Brian walk up to the front door, but he did hear
the doorbell ring and Brian’s voice call, “AJ!
You here, man?”
AJ got up and walked to the door, solidifying his hand to unlock
it and open it. It was the first time he
had opened a door since his death, for usually he just slid right through doors
without bothering to open them. He saw
Brian’s face light up with recognition as Brian glimpsed AJ’s light.
“Hey, bro,” said Brian with an awkward smile, coming into the
house and shutting the door behind him.
“I got something to tell you.
It’s about Bianca.”
Bianca, thought AJ, matching the thought with Brian’s. A moment later, they were communicating
internally.
“What about her?” AJ asked.
“Did you try to talk to her again?
Did she believe it?!” He grew
excited at this prospect and waited eagerly for Brian’s answer.
“No,” Brian said
morosely. “No, it’s not a good
thing.”
“What?” AJ asked in concern.
“Um… well… Bianca’s in the hospital.”
“What?!?! What happened?!”
“You know when I said she ran out of the store and drove off after
I tried to tell her about you? Well, I
guess she was driving on the back roads, and she ran her car into a guardrail.”
“Oh God!” AJ gasped. “Is she-“
“She’s all right,” Brian said
quickly. “Just shaken up. But there’s something else.”
“What?”
“Well, I just found out all this from Howie – he called me after
he got back from visiting her in the hospital – I guess she called him to come
up there-“
“Okay, okay, what is it?” AJ asked impatiently.
“Well, according to Howie, they ran a blood test on her when she
was brought in and found barbiturates in her system.”
“Barbiturates? Drugs?! Bianca doesn’t take shit like that!” AJ cried indignantly.
“I know, that’s what I thought too. But… I mean… they found it in her
bloodstream…”
“Well, it must be a mistake,” AJ said with the same stubbornness
Bianca had spoken with earlier. “God,
I really need to talk to her.”
“Try again. Keep trying,
man, don’t give up yet,” Brian urged.
“What should I do this time?
Write her another letter?” AJ asked with a snort of sarcastic laughter.
“Well… maybe,” Brian said seriously.
“If you do, write something really personal in there, something that
will make her realize it’s got to be you.”
“Like what?”
“Well… I don’t know… think of a memory you have of the two of you
together… like something you did when it was just the two of you, no one else…
or some inside joke you have together… just anything that no one else would
know about, not even me or one of the other guys.”
“Yeah…” said AJ, already deep in thought. “Perfect.”
***
Bianca lay crying and miserable in her hospital bed, upset and
humiliated by the realization that everyone seemed to think she had tried to
kill herself. Well, not everyone
exactly, but if Dr. Franklin thought that, it seemed likely that other people
would too. If the press got wind of
that, it would be disastrous for her.
She could imagine the news reports now:
Bianca Parker, stricken with grief after the death of her boyfriend,
the late Backstreet Boy AJ McLean, attempted suicide this Thursday. Coincidentally, this would had been McLean’s
twenty-fifth birthday…
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.
“Uh… just a minute!” Bianca called weakly, furiously wiping her
eyes before saying, “Come in.”
The door opened, and in walked the last person Bianca felt like
seeing (besides Dr. Franklin or Nurse Betsy) – Brian.
“Hey, Bean,” he said gently, giving her a tentative smile.
“Hi.”
She expected Brian to make some sort of apology – after all, that
was why he had come, right? But he
didn’t. Instead, he handed her a small
envelope – a “get well soon” card, she assumed.
“This isn’t from me,” he told her, and that was all he said.
“Who’s it from then? AJ?”
Bianca asked sarcastically.
“Just open it.”
Bianca rolled her eyes but obediently tore open the envelope. A small piece of paper fell out; she
recognized it as one of her own sheets of stationary. Her eyes narrowed at Brian, and she was about
to question him, then decided against it until she had read whatever the paper
said. She unfolded the paper and let her
eyes travel over the message written on it.
She recognized the shaky, forged “AJ” handwriting and frowned. Part of her wanted to just crumple the paper
up into a little ball and hurl it right at Brian’s head, but she was too
curious to do that without at least reading it first. So she did.
It was different from the other messages from “AJ” she had gotten. It was not exactly a letter, but… lyrics.
When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don’t be afraid of the dark
At the end of the storm
Is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark
Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Tho’ your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on
And you’ll never walk alone
You’ll never walk alone
A lump rose in Bianca’s throat.
It was “You’ll Never Walk Alone”, from Carousel, one of her
favorite musicals. And below the lyrics,
there was a short message.
Bean,
Remember that day on the tour bus?
When we were singing this song together?
We could star in our own musical, right? We could randomly break out into song, and
all the people around us could start singing the background vocals and dancing,
right?
Okay, I know this is gonna sound cheesy, but here goes: Bianca, you’ll never walk alone. I’m here with you, here by your side. You just have to believe. Believe, and you’ll be able to see me and
talk to me like Brian can. Please
believe…
Your angelic co-star wannabe,
AJ
Bianca stared at the words, reading them over and over again. And then a memory came to her.
“Oh, it’s Carousel, Aje!
Remember when we went to see that?”
“Yup,” he said with a grin.
He began to hum “You’ll Never Walk Alone,” one of the classic songs from the
musical.
“When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high…” Bianca
sang softly.
“And don’t be afraid of the dark,” AJ joined in, smiling at her.
“At the end of the road is a golden sky-“
“And the sweet silver song of a lark…”
The couple looked at each other for a moment, then burst out laughing.
“Damn, Aje, we could star in our own musical,” Bianca commented, giggling.
“Or we could just pretend our life is a living musical. And then we could, you know, randomly break
out into song and everything, and all the people around us could start singing
the background vocals and dancing…”
Tears filled Bianca’s eyes, and her hands began to shake. She looked up at Brian. “It’s… it’s true.”
***