Chapter 157
“So how was
your day?” asked Jamie that evening, as he and Claire sat down to the dinner
she had hastily thrown together.
“It was
fine…” Claire spoke carefully, knowing
she could not tell him about the rollercoaster of emotions Nick’s new album had
sent her on. He wouldn’t have been
surprised to hear how she had driven around aimlessly, wanting to both smile
and cry as she listened to Nick’s music – after all, she was pregnant, and
hormones would do that to a woman. But
he could never know how her heart was pulling her in all directions. He would never understand how she could love
him and miss Nick at the same time.
Jamie
raised an eyebrow. “Nothing happened,
did it? I mean, everything’s okay… with
you, and with the babies… right?”
Claire had
to smile. He was always asking about her
and the babies, making sure she was feeling okay, as if she didn’t know how to
take care of herself. “Oh yeah,
everything’s great! You know, that
pregnancy book I got was right – second trimester is awesome. No more morning sickness, and I’m starting to
feel them move more and more. It’s
amazing.”
Watching
her, Jamie’s eyes took on an extra sparkle.
He always lit up when they talked about the babies; Claire knew he was
in love with the both of them already.
“Good. I just hope you’re taking
it easy.”
“I am,” she
said patiently.
“Just
checking.” Jamie smiled easily. “So, what did you do today?”
“Well… I did some laundry… I watched some TV… I fixed dinner… I went to K-Mart…”
“Ah,
K-Mart. Always an event.”
“Oh, it was
the highlight of my day,” Claire played along with a teasing smile. “They had a blue light special on cat food.”
“Bright
will appreciate that.” Jamie
grinned. A few feet away, his gray cat’s
ears twitched at the sound of her name.
“Yeah, that’s right; we’re talking about you, baby,” he cooed to the
feline. “Mommy picked you up some more
food.”
Claire
wrinkled her nose. “I am not that
thing’s ‘mommy,’” she told Jamie, trying hard to keep a straight face. “You better quit that when the babies come,
or our kids are going to grow up thinking that cat is their sister.”
“Well, of
course she is,” Jamie cooed in the same sugary voice he always used with the
cat. “Bright can’t wait till her baby
brothers get here.” He gave Claire a
playful wink.
She smirked
in amusement. “Brothers, huh? Do you know something I don’t? You think we’re gonna have twin boys?”
“Just
wishful thinking.” He grinned again, and
she laughed.
“Well,
personally, I’d love one of each. Don’t
you want a Daddy’s little girl?” asked Claire.
“Of course,
honey,” Jamie assured her. “I’m just
playing; you know I already love them, whether they’re girls or boys.”
Claire
smiled. She knew it, but she also knew
that Jamie was secretly hoping for a boy, at least one. Typical guy; he wanted a son. She also suspected that he was dying to know
the sex of their twins, but she was old-fashioned and wanted to be surprised,
so they had told her OB to keep it a secret until the babies were born.
“If we do
have a girl, maybe we could name her Patricia, after my dad. You know… Patricia… Patrick.” Jamie looked at her hopefully. “We could call her Patti for short. Or Tricia.”
Claire
wondered how best to hint at Jamie that she didn’t like the name Patricia,
without hurting his feelings. It was a
sweet gesture, naming their daughter after his late father, but… “Don’t you remember Patricia Barnes, from
high school? She was a Tricia.”
“The
cheerleader? She was hot,” said Jamie
with a smirk.
Claire gave
him a look. “She was a bitch. I could never call my daughter Tricia and not
think of her. Why don’t we just see if
we have a son, and name him Patrick?”
Jamie
hesitated, making a face. “Well… I just think a kid called Patrick would get
picked on nowadays.”
“What?! Why??” Claire laughed. “Patrick is a common name!”
“Not
anymore. When was the last time you met
a kid named Patrick? Anyway, what would
we call him for short? Pat? That just makes me think of that SNL sketch…
you know, Pat, the he-she.”
Claire
snorted. “Jamie! Pat was your dad’s name!”
“I know, I
know, but he was born way before SNL; his parents didn’t know any better,” said
Jamie matter-of-factly. “We do.”
“Okay,
okay, so no Patrick. Well, maybe we
could use one or the other as a middle name for one of them; how about that?”
she suggested.
“That
sounds good,” Jamie agreed with a nod, and they exchanged a smile, pleased with
the compromise.
Beneath the
table, Claire rested her hand on her belly, marveling over the fact that the
child they were discussing was growing inside of her right now, along with its
twin. In a matter of months, there would
be two highchairs at this table, and two more mouths to feed. What would the twins, boys or girls, be
like? What would they name
them? She and Jamie didn’t yet have
names, or highchairs, and with a start, she realized how much work there
was left to do before the babies arrived.
“You know,
we really need to get to work on the babies’ room,” she mentioned to
Jamie. “We should go shopping and pick
out some stuff we like so I can get us on some of those gift registries. Things are gonna get so busy with the
holidays coming up; I want to make sure we’re all ready once it gets closer to
time.”
Jamie
smiled and nodded. “We will be. Let’s go shopping this weekend. We’ll have to, cause next weekend I’m going
to be busy packing…” He trailed off,
smirking at her in a way that told her his off-handed comment was actually
quite significant.
“Packing??”
she repeated. “Packing for what?”
“I just
found out today, I’m going on a business trip to Mississippi, the week after
next.”
“A business
trip?” Claire was surprised. “You never take business trips…”
“I do now,”
Jamie said, smirking again. “It’s a part
of the new job, one of the reasons I’m being paid more than I was in
Tampa. Sometimes I have to travel.”
Claire
stared at him, wondering how she could have missed that detail of his new
position. “You didn’t tell me that…”
“Sorry. I wasn’t sure when I would start, but my boss
thinks I’m doing great work around here, so he wants to send me to Biloxi,
Mississippi. There’s a new church going
up there, and they need some good insurance.
It’s actually a rebuild of a church that was destroyed in Hurricane
Katrina, and they’ve just now raised enough money to rebuild.”
“And
they’re going through a company in Des Moines?”
“We’re the
leading insurer of churches, sweetheart.
We’ve got clients all across the country. This won’t be the first time I’ll have to
travel to meet with one.”
Claire
frowned. “Again, something you failed to
mention to me when you took this job.”
“I didn’t take
the job; I was transferred,” Jamie said, none-too-patiently. “Listen, this is a good thing for us,
honey. It means more money, and there
are all kinds of perks. I get reimbursed
for all my travel expenses, and look how many frequent flier miles I’ll rack
up. That means we’ll be able to afford
flying back to Tampa to visit your family more often.”
He spoke in
a patronizing tone, as if he was explaining concepts she’d never heard of
before. It was exasperating, but he’d
known just what to say to keep her from getting too annoyed. Tampa.
Her family. The magic
words. He knew how much she missed them.
“Okay, so
you’re going to Mississippi in two weeks.
How long will you be there?”
“Well, I
don’t need to be in Biloxi until the Monday after Halloween, but I thought I’d
leave that Thursday before and spend a long weekend in Biloxi. I’ve got some buddies from college living in
that area, and I thought it’d be good to catch up. Then I’ll be working Monday and Tuesday, and
I’ll fly back Wednesday. How does that
sound?”
Claire
blinked. “So you only need to be gone
for three days, but instead you’re going to go for a week so you can party with
your friends over Halloween and leave me here alone with nothing to do? Yeah, that sounds just spectacular.”
“Aww, come
on, Clairie, don’t pout. I don’t give
you crap about wanting to hang out with your friends.”
“What
friends? All my friends are in Florida,”
Claire snapped.
It was
true; she had no real friends in Des Moines yet. Though she’d met some of the neighbors, it
wasn’t like they hung out – the other women in the neighborhood either worked
or were occupied with their young children all day, and Claire, without a job and
without small children – yet – fit in with neither group. Besides Jamie, everyone she cared about was
far away. The only one she’d seen since
they had moved was Nick. And the thought
of Nick brought something else to mind.
“And by the
way, that is bullshit! You threw
a fit when Nick came here to visit me, and the only reason he was here is
because you weren’t. So don’t you
dare say that I give you crap and you don’t!” she went on hotly.
“Fine, give
me all the crap you want then. But if
you see nothing wrong with staying in your ex-boyfriend’s hotel room while he’s
here, you sure as hell shouldn’t have a problem with me catching up with
friends in Mississippi, Claire.” Jamie
glared at her, his eyes as stormy as his tone.
“You’re
right. I don’t. Go to Mississippi; do what you want,
Jamie.” Annoyed, Claire got up and went
to the sink to rinse her plate. Jamie
sat at the table and stewed.
Claire knew
he had a point, but she was not about to pretend she was happy with the idea of
him being out of town for a whole week when it could have just been three
days. To be honest, she wasn’t thrilled
about the idea of him taking business trips all the time either, and she was
bothered by the realization that he’d never told her he was going to have to
travel for his new job.
We really need to work on our
communication,
she thought, as she loaded the dishwasher.
Who knew the things they would find to argue about once the twins were
born. This constant arguing had to stop,
before the babies arrived. She didn’t
want her children to grow up in a house full of bickering and resentment. And sometimes, that’s how it seemed to be
with Jamie and her. She loved him, and
she knew he loved her, but sometimes they had funny ways of showing it. She worried that their problems were more
deep-seeded than petty arguments about friends and business trips.
After
dinner, Jamie retreated to the basement to watch football, and Claire finished
cleaning up the kitchen and then got on the computer. She slipped Nick’s CD into the drive and
listened to it on headphones as she checked her email and surfed through a few
websites. Then she glanced at her AIM
buddy list and saw Nick’s screen name.
An0nym0us1980. It had always
amused her, because Nick was anything but anonymous.
At first,
she was surprised to see him online on the night of his album released, but
then she realized he must be on his cell phone.
She hesitated, staring at the screen name for a moment, and then she
decided to IM him. What the hell,
she thought, clicking on his name to pull up a new chat window. Even if he couldn’t chat, he would always get
her text later. So she started typing a
message.
“Hey!
Don’t know if you’ll see this right away, but just wanted to tell you, I
got the album…”
***
It was
nearing seven o’clock by the time Nick got to go back to his hotel room, after
a full day of promotional appearances and album signings. He enjoyed the publicity and the praise for
his album, but the release day had been a long one, and he was tired and hungry
and anxious for a break and some dinner.
Opting not to dine out, he had his driver take him straight back to his
hotel, looking forward to ordering room service and just eating in, a temporary
refuge from all the people and publicity.
He hoped that would be enough to refresh him for a night of partying to
celebrate the album release.
Once he got
some food into his empty stomach, Nick’s mood rose again, right along with his
blood sugar, and when Laureen called at 7:30, he was ready to talk to people
again. Not that Laureen was just anyone,
anyway. She was more than just “someone”
or “anyone.” She was…
Well, he
wasn’t exactly sure what she was. But
the last week had proven that she wasn’t just a fan, or Claire’s friend, or
even purely his friend. True,
they’d been acting like friends, hanging out pretty much every night the week
he’d been at home in Tampa. But there
was something more there, something beyond just friendship. He couldn’t get his mind off the kisses
they’d shared, or how admired and cared about she made him feel.
When he was
with her, Nick didn’t feel alone, in any sense.
He knew he was with a person who truly cared about him, in the somewhat
distanced way a fan would, and also in the much deeper, closer way a friend
would. Laureen was both of those things
to him, and more. She was also a woman,
a woman who made him feel worthy of love and attraction, whenever she kissed
him or blushed when he smiled at her.
When he’d lost Claire, a small part of him had feared he would never
find another woman who would react that way to him, and all of his attempts at
finding such a woman after her had ultimately failed. He had no idea what would happen with Laureen
and him, but right now, he was having fun and was willing to take a chance on
her. She was a sweet girl, and he’d
enjoyed spending time with her the week before.
So when he
saw her name flashing on his phone, Nick found himself smiling. He answered right away, drawling a
flirtatious “Helloooo?”
“Hi!”
chirped Laureen. Just the sound of her
voice made Nick smile. She was one of
those people that was like the sun, beaming light onto whomever she talked to
(and not in irritating way). She just
had a way about her that instantly made him feel better. “Am I calling at a bad time? I know today’s probably been crazy for you…”
“Oh yeah,
it’s been crazy, but in a good way. And
you actually caught me at a perfect time,” Nick replied.
“Really? Wow!
So what are you up to right now?”
“Just got
done eating, and now I’m just hangin’ out in my hotel room, chillin’ until it’s
time to go out.”
“Oh,
awesome!” Laureen paused for just a
second, and then she started gushing. “I
love the album!! It’s amazing, just like
I knew it would be!”
Noting the
sincerity in her voice, Nick smiled.
“Thank you. That means a lot.”
“Well,
you’re welcome, but trust me, it won’t be the only time you hear it! I know the rest of the fans will love it
too.”
Nick hoped
she was right, but at the same time, it didn’t matter. Not really.
He’d made the album more for himself than for anyone else, not even the
fans, and he was proud of the work he’d done.
That was all that really mattered.
Still, he didn’t mind the compliments.
“You’re sweet,” he told Laureen, smiling again. “So what are you doing right now?”
“Not too
much,” she answered with a giggle. “Just
hangin’ out… watching some show about ghosts on the Discovery Channel. They’re having a marathon – you know, for
Halloween. It’s on a commercial though.”
“Ah, that’s
always cool.” He tried to picture her,
lounging on her bed or couch, though he’d never seen either, the remote in one
hand and her phone in the other, her tousled auburn hair falling over her eyes…
“I know; I
love that stuff!” she went on.
“Halloween’s my favorite holiday.
I love ghosts and graveyards and scary stuff.”
“Me too,”
agreed Nick, realizing again how much they had in common. It was unexpected; he’d never considered that
he and Laureen would have anything in common, besides a mutual friendship with
Claire.
But as it
turned out, they were alike in many ways, ways in which he and Claire had been
quite opposites of one another. Laureen
was musical and loved the ocean; she had tattoos, and now, her favorite holiday
was Halloween. They were all small
components of who she was, but combined together, they led Nick closer and
closer to the conclusion that he and she might actually be quite compatible.
“Halloween’s
comin’ up… maybe we should do something together, huh?” he suggested casually.
“I would
love that!” Laureen sounded
thrilled. “Will you be back in Tampa by
then?”
“Planning
on it, yeah. I should be home next
week.”
“Oh,
cool! We’ll have plenty of time to
figure out what to do then.” She giggled,
the way she tended to do when she was nervous.
He smiled.
“Absolutely,”
he assured her. That’s when his phone
beeped, signaling that he had an instant message. “Ah, hang on, Laureen, I got a text.”
He heard
her say “Okay” as he pulled the phone away from his ear, lowering it to look at
the screen. A message was flashing, and
when he looked at the screen name, he saw that it was from Claire.
Clairevoyance315: hey!
Don’t know if you’ll see this right away, but just wanted to tell you, I
got the album. I love it, Nick – it’s
fantastic!!! Great songs, and your voice
sounds amazing. I especially love “Live
For You”… it’s beautiful J
Nick smiled
at the words of praise. Even now, they
meant a lot, coming from her. Despite
everything, she was still a close friend, and so in a way, it was just expected
that she would buy his album and tell him it was good. But Claire wasn’t one to throw out
meaningless compliments or fake how she felt; he knew she was being
sincere.
He wanted
to thank her, and maybe chat for just a few minutes, so he put the phone back
to his ear and said, “Hey, Laureen? Can
I call you back in a few minutes?”
It was
probably a low thing to do, trading one “friend” for another, but Laureen,
always understanding, chirped, “Sure!
I’ll be here,” and let him go.
Closing the
connection with her, he switched to his buddy list and started keying in a
reply to Claire.
An0nym0us1980: hey thanks!
how u doin?
Claire’s
reply came quickly.
Clairevoyance315: wow, you’re actually there! Thought you’d be busy partying. It’s not exactly a party here, but I’m
fine. Fat and swollen and moody, but
fine. J
When she
IMed, he could always imagine her saying the words she typed. He could just hear her bitching about her
puffy ankles and raging hormones and the fact that she could barely fit into
her clothes. It would have been more
charming if it had been his babies she was carrying, but he had to smile
anyway.
An0nym0us1980: nah just hangin…. savin the parties 4 later
tonite. should be good times
Clairevoyance315: it better be good times!
An0nym0us1980: haha.. so what r u up too?
Clairevoyance315: eh, not much.
Same old crap going on here.
Nick
frowned, trying to read between the lines on that one. It wasn’t too difficult.
An0nym0us1980: lemme guess.. by crap u mean jamie?
Clairevoyance315: found out tonight he’s going on a business
trip to Mississippi in 2 weeks… and leaving 3 days early so he can party with
some friends over Halloween. He’ll be
gone a week, and I’m just pissed cause I don’t wanna be stuck here alone with
nothing to do for that long. Especially
over Halloween.
An0nym0us1980: that sux… im sorry. u shouldnt be alone 4 that long anyway
He was
thinking of her pregnancy, and all the bad things that could happen. She’d had to terminate one of the pregnancies
because of the threat of complications, and her doctor had still told her she
was a high-risk case. If I were her
husband, he told himself, I would never leave her by herself for a whole
week.
Then he
remembered all the times he had left her at his house in Tampa while he was
working in LA. But that was different…
she hadn’t been his wife then either, and she certainly hadn’t been pregnant
with twins. And if she had wanted to
come to LA, she could have. She’d chosen
to stay in Tampa and work.
Clairevoyance315: oh, I’ll be fine. I’m just having a little pity party… don’t
mind me. See, we’re both going to party
tonight. J
The comment
made Nick smile, but he still felt bad for her.
She didn’t seem happy, and although he knew she was excited about the
twins, she hadn’t seemed truly happy to him in a long time. It was Jamie’s fault, he thought. If only she would realize that and start
changing things, for her own happiness and sanity.
And then a
sobering thought struck him, sending a jolt through his stomach. Had she been this unhappy when she was with him? Had she spent nights like this throwing “pity
parties” for herself during the long weeks when he had been away? He remembered how miserable she had sounded
when she called him on the phone, close to tears, the day after her selective
reduction procedure. Had she felt that
alone when she’d written the note she had left on his stairs and made the
decision to move out of his house?
Surely, the
two situations were so different that she couldn’t possibly have felt that bad
then… but still, Nick wondered. He had
always intended to treat her like a queen, but maybe he hadn’t done
enough. Maybe he hadn’t been there
enough for her either. She had hurt him
terribly by leaving, but maybe he’d hurt her by not being there in the first
place.
For as
strong and independent as she seemed, there was a side of Claire that longed
for companionship. When she was with
someone, she wanted to be with them, not separated by days and
miles. Those were what had split them
up… the days apart and the miles between them.
Still miles
away from her now, Nick sighed, staring down at her message. Her usual light-heartedness was there in the
text, but beyond it, he knew she wasn’t really smiling. Not the kind of smile that reached her eyes
and lit up her face, anyway. He hadn’t
seen her smile like that in a long time.
An0nym0us1980: i wish u could be here to party with me. no offense but mine sounds more fun.
He was
joking and he wasn’t. He really did wish
she was here, so that he could take her mind off of Jamie and hopefully cheer
her up.
Clairevoyance315: haha… me too.
Yours definitely sounds more fun.
Nick smiled
grimly, the wheels in his head starting to turn. Maybe he could find a way to cheer her up
while Jamie was away. He could make up
for not being there with her near the end of their relationship by being there
for her now.
He typed
“brb” into the phone and pulled up his list of contacts over their
messages. Scrolling quickly through the
long list, he found Laureen’s name and set the phone to dial her number.
“Hey, it’s
me again. Sorry for the delay,” he said
into the phone when Laureen answered.
“Oh, no
problem!” she replied earnestly. “So
what’s up?”
“Actually…” He smirked, pausing for dramatic effect. “I think I’ve got an idea for what we can do
for Halloween together.”
“Ooh,
really? What??” She sounded eager, and he hoped she’d be up
for what he was currently plotting.
Nick
cleared his throat. “Well… how would you
feel about spending it in the Midwest?”
“Home for
Halloween? That’s a new one, but hey, it
works for me. As long as I can get off
work, I’m there!” Laureen exclaimed.
“Can I ask why you want to spend Halloween in the Midwest?”
Grinning,
Nick replied, “I’ll tell you,” and filled her in on the plan he’d thought up not
five minutes earlier. Lucky for him,
Laureen liked spontaneity as much as he did.
That was
one more thing they had in common.
***
AN: Page 1,000! Whoo hoo!!!