Chapter 163
Nick and
Laureen were walking into the maternity ward when Laureen’s Sidekick suddenly
sprang to life.
“If you want it to be good girl, get
yourself a-”
Flushing flame
red, Laureen slapped at a button on the phone, silencing Nick’s nasally,
prepubescent screeching. Cupping her
hand over the mouthpiece, she whispered, “Wow, I should really change that
ringtone.”
“What?!” Nick feigned innocence. “Are you saying you’re embarrassed of my
song? That song almost won us a Grammy!”
Not buying
it for a second, Laureen just giggled and glanced down at her Sidekick
again. “It’s Dianna,” she realized and
quickly put the phone to her ear.
“Hello?”
His stomach
knotting up, Nick stopped and positioned himself to listen to Laureen’s end of
the conversation. It was not a time to
be joking around; Claire was somewhere in this hospital, in this very wing,
possibly facing the loss of her children.
And yet, a
part of him felt less worried than he had when they’d touched down in St.
Petersburg. The dream he’d had in the
cab, oddly enough, had relaxed him. He
had dreamed that Claire was alright, that her babies had survived. It had to be a sign that she was really going
to be okay.
Then again,
based on that logic, Jamie had a prosthetic beatdown, two car accidents, an
amputation, a stint as a sex slave to a freak with a fetish, a plane crash, and
leprosy to look forward to.
Nick
smirked and sighed at the same time, trying to focus on what Laureen was saying
to Claire’s best friend.
“… She
is? Really?? Oh, thank god… that’s good to know.” Laureen paused, and Nick saw a smile spread
across her face. “Actually, we’re
already here. Yeah, in Tampa. We’re at the hospital; we just got here. Yeah, Nick wanted to come.” Laureen giggled. “Okay.
Alright, I will. Thanks for
calling. Yeah, you too. Bye.”
She snapped
her phone shut, dropped it into her bag, and smiled at Nick. “Claire’s okay,” she announced. “Dianna said Jamie just called; they were
able to stop her labor. She’s going to
be under observation for awhile, but this is good news.”
Nick let
out a breath of relief. “Yeah, it
is. Thank god. I thought Claire could handle anything, but
with all the emotional shit he’s put her through lately, I honestly don’t think
she could handle losing those babies.”
Laureen
nodded sadly, but then a smile crept to the corner of her mouth. “Dianna said that you’re sweet, for still
caring about her as much as you do. She
admires you for that.”
Nick arched
an eyebrow skeptically. “Really? I didn’t think Dianna admired much of
anything about me.”
“She’s
Claire’s friend, and so are you. You’ve
got mutual concerns.” Shrugging,
Laureen added, “And hey… maybe she’s realized what an asshole Jamie is
too. Even if she didn’t like you before,
she’d have to realize that anyone looks good compared to that guy.”
Nick
laughed. “Gee, thanks… I think.” He smiled teasingly, realizing he felt a lot
better already, just knowing that Claire was alright. “So Jamie’s probably lurking around here
somewhere then, isn’t he? Should be
interesting when he sees us.”
Laureen
rolled her eyes. “He can’t control who
she sees. We’re her friends; we have a
right to be here if she want us to be.”
“Damn
straight,” agreed Nick, and they kept walking, looking for the room number the
receptionist downstairs had given them.
“If he tries to give us any crap, I’ma beat him down with my leg,
alright? It’s solid titanium.” He thrust his artificial leg into the wall
of the empty hallway for effect.
Unfortunately, the only effect it had was to throw him off balance. As he stumbled and caught himself, Laureen
giggled.
“I would
sure love to see that.”
“Me too,”
Nick smirked. “But I guess it’ll only
happen in my dreams.”
Laureen
smiled and slipped her hand into his as they continued down the hall.
***
Claire
wanted to feign sleep when Jamie came back into the room, but she knew it
wouldn’t work; he hadn’t been gone long enough for her to fall into a deep,
fitful sleep that would last until morning.
“Dianna
sounded relieved,” he announced, setting his phone down on her bedside
table. “She said to tell you she’s
thinking about you.”
Claire
managed a smile. “Thanks for calling her
back.”
“Sure.”
He sank
back down in his chair beside her bed, and she rolled slowly away from him,
holding onto her stomach as she shifted positions. All of her movements were ginger now, for she
was terrified of doing anything to put the babies in distress and start up her
labor again. She found a comfortable
position on her right side, lying with her back to Jamie, and pulled her covers
up around her in what she thought was a pretty direct hint that she wanted to
sleep. She wasn’t really sure if she
could, but she was tired of having Jamie hover over her, feeling his
overprotective eyes on her as she lay helpless in bed, unable to stop what was
happening to her anymore than he could.
Now that
the labor had stopped, she wished he would just go back to Kyle and Amber’s or
over to his brother’s house to sleep.
But so far, she had not made this suggestion yet. She didn’t want him to think she was pushing
him away, even if she was. It wasn’t
anything personal; she just wanted to be alone.
After a few
minutes of silence, Jamie seemed to take the hint. Clearing his throat, he asked awkwardly, “Um,
do you want me to go? So you can sleep?”
Rolling
carefully onto her back, so that she could turn her head and look at him,
Claire offered her husband a grateful smile.
“I could use some time alone,” she admitted. “I don’t want you to sit up and keep a vigil
while I sleep. You should go back to
Kyle and Amber’s and get some sleep.”
Just as
she’d expected, Jamie seemed to hesitate.
“I’ll be
fine,” she insisted, when he didn’t react immediately. “And if anything isn’t fine, you know I’ll
call you. These are our babies; I
don’t want to go through anything with them without you here. It’s just, I can’t sleep with you hovering
over me, and you need to rest too so you can keep me company in the
morning.” She flashed him a sweet
smile, and he finally relented.
“Alright,”
he agreed, nodding. Bending over her, he
planted a soft kiss on her forehead and murmured, “Get some sleep then. I’ll be back in the morning.”
“You better
be,” she replied with a teasing smile, briefly touching his cheek. His dark stubble prickled against her
fingertips as she let them trail lightly down his face. “I love you,” she added, stressing the words
with conviction, for herself as much as for him.
“I love you
too,” he returned, smiling down at her.
“Take it easy.”
“I
will. I don’t think they’d like me doing
jumping jacks on the hospital bed anyway,” she joked, winking.
His smile
was grim. “See you in the morning,” he
promised again, and he gathered his wallet and phone and got ready to leave.
Claire
started to roll over again, listening to his footsteps as he walked over to the
door and opened it. Then the footsteps
stopped and didn’t start again. And then
she heard his voice say, “Ohhh no. You
are not here right now. Don’t
even tell me…”
“Sorry,”
said another voice, an equally familiar one, “but unless this is another dream,
I am here. What are you gonna do
about it?”
His tone
was low and flat, but undeniably Nick.
Claire sat up more quickly than she had moved all evening, craning her
neck to look over Jamie’s shoulder, out into the hall. Sure enough, he was there, the one person who
could always make her feel better in times of crisis.
“Nick.” She spoke his name, her voice projecting
into the hallway.
Jamie
turned, his eyes cold. He glanced back
at Nick, then at Claire, and he took a step back into the room. “You knew he was coming,” he accused. “You called him, didn’t you? When I was out of the room. That’s why you wanted me to leave! And I actually bought it too; I actually
thought you just wanted to sleep. Shows
what I know, right? I should have
guessed, Claire. Can’t turn my back
without your beloved Backstreet Boy coming to the rescue.”
Claire’s
mouth dropped open, her eyes widening with anger, because it couldn’t have been
further from the truth. Well, okay, that
Backstreet Boy coming to the rescue part had happened a few times recently, but
other than that, it was bullshit. She’d
had no idea Nick was coming. How had he
even found out what was going on? She
wanted to ask, but first there was the matter of her husband basically accusing
her of being an adulteress; at least that’s what he was making it sound like.
“How dare
you?!” she fired back, refusing to be treated like a sneak and a slut. “I never called him; I had no idea he was
coming here! Shows how much faith you
have in me, that you would think I did, Jamie!”
“How do I
know that? How do I know you didn’t call
him, just like you did the last time something went wrong?”
“You can
check my fucking cell phone records if you want; I didn’t call him,” Claire
snapped. “But I shouldn’t have to prove
that to you. You should have more trust
in me than that!”
“She didn’t
call me,” Nick jumped in to her defense, taking a step into the room. He looked warily between Claire and
Jamie. “Dianna did,” he said, speaking
to Jamie. “Actually, she called
Laureen. Laureen was with me. We came together, because we both care about
Claire.”
He turned,
glancing briefly over his shoulder, and then moved aside. Behind him, Laureen appeared, stepping into
the room. Claire’s anger softened at the
sight of two of her closest friends, and she offered Laureen a brief
smile. The smile was short-lived,
because before she could say anything to them, Jamie started in again.
“Oh, I’ll
bet you do, Carter. I know how much you
care about my wife.”
“Don’t
start in with that ‘my wife’ shit, Jamie,” Claire interjected before he could
go further. “You don’t have to act so
goddamn possessive; you know I hate that!!
He meant he cares about me as a friend; that’s all it is!” She looked to Nick for acknowledgment, and
he nodded, returning with a thin smile.
“Oh sure,
that’s what you both say, but the truth is, he’d love to have you back as more
than just his friend,” Jamie retorted accusingly, his eyes flashing dangerously
at Nick.
“I’ve got a
girlfriend, thanks,” said Nick flatly, and he put his arm around Laureen,
drawing her to him. Claire didn’t miss the
fleeting look of surprise pass across Laureen’s face and wondered if this was
news to her, too. But Nick looked
sincere as he added, “But Claire is still my friend. Accept that or don’t; I don’t give a
shit. But you’re not gonna push me out
of her life as long as she wants me around.”
He looked
at Claire, and she could detect just a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. He was looking for confirmation that she did,
in fact, want him around. A wry smile
crossed her lips. Hadn’t she just been
spilling her guts to Amber about how much she still cared about Nick and wished
she could call him?
“Of course
I want you around. I want all of my
friends around me,” said Claire, looking meaningfully from Nick to
Laureen. Then her eyes returned to her
husband. “Jamie, do you realize we could
have lost both of our babies tonight? We
need all the support and prayers we can get, alright? So can’t you please just get over this
thing with Nick, please? For me, and for
our children?”
Jamie’s jaw
tightened, and she could see the emotions working across his face as he
struggled between his love for her and their unborn children and his loathing
of Nick. If he doesn’t agree… she
thought, if he won’t put us ahead of this thing with Nick… then that’s
it. It’s over. She couldn’t stay with a man who cared more
about hating someone than loving her.
Thankfully,
for the preservation of their marriage, Jamie gave a curt nod and extended a
hand to Nick. “If she wants you to stay,
then okay, Carter.”
Nick nodded
his acknowledgement and briefly grasped Jamie’s hand. His eyes held a steely look that gave off the
impression he would rather give Jamie a nice, hard Indian burn, but he remained
cordial.
Jamie then
glanced at Laureen. “Thanks for coming,”
he said to her (and her only, Claire suspected). “We do appreciate your prayers.”
“Sure,”
said Laureen softly, and that was all she said.
Neither she, nor Nick, looked like they would have much else to say
while Jamie was in the room.
Claire
couldn’t help but wish her husband would leave so that she could actually talk
to her friends. He was getting on her
last nerve; she’d had enough of his possessiveness. Why did he have to act like such a jackass
when Nick was around?
Finally,
she couldn’t take the tension in the room any longer. “Jamie,” she spoke up, “it’s really
late. You should go back to Kyle’s like
you said you were going to and get some rest.
Nick and Laureen are just going to stay for a few minutes to visit, and
then they’ll leave too. A nurse will
probably come along to kick them out soon anyway, since I’m sure visiting hours
ended a long time ago.”
Jamie gave
her a dark look, but he was clearly tired of arguing with her. “Alright,” he muttered. “Call if you need anything.”
“I will.”
He came
back to her bedside and kissed her cheek.
Then he pulled back, stopped, hesitated, and leaned down again, taking
her chin in his hand and kissing her deeply on the lips. “I love you,” he made a point to say, and as
horrible as it was, Claire couldn’t help but think that he’d only done it to
smite Nick.
“Love you
too,” she replied quietly, and though she meant it in her heart, her brain, the
sensible part of her, was asking, Why?
How could you love a man who tries to hurt people on purpose?
As she
watched him walk out the door, she felt a tug of sadness deep inside her, as
what she had been slowly realizing over the last few months became startlingly
clear: the man she had married was not
the same man she had fallen in love with all those years ago. The Jamie Turner that had been her high
school sweetheart had never been so cruel, so biting and jealous and
possessive.
He had
changed. In the years they had been
apart, before reuniting, life had changed him.
Adulthood had changed him.
And she wondered,
was she only in love with the person he had once been? And did she even know the man she had
married? She thought she had, but it
seemed she was only now being introduced to him, piece by ugly piece.
***
Nick
watched Claire’s face closely as Jamie kissed her and left. It did not hold the expression of a woman who
deeply loved her husband and was sad to see him go. Instead, Claire just looked… sad.
Yeah, I know it hurts
Yeah, I know you’re scared
Walking down the road that leads
To who knows where…
“Are you
okay?” he asked quietly, once a few seconds had passed since Jamie’s departure.
Claire gave
a dry chuckle. “In what way? Physically?
Well…” She held up her left
hand, into which an IV had been threaded, and gestured vaguely to all of the
medical equipment that surrounded her, keeping track of everything… all of her
vital signs and the babies’ too. It was
sort of sad, thought Nick, that he could now look at just about every one of
those monitors and know exactly what it was tracking.
“And
emotionally?” she continued, without really answering her first question. “I’m beginning to realize that I married a
jackass. Does that answer your
question?”
With anyone
else, Nick wouldn’t dare make a joke at a time like this, but even though her
words were grim, he could hear a note of sarcastic humor in them. Jumping on this, he replied, “You’re just now
figuring out that Jamie’s a jackass?”
Next to him, Laureen stifled a giggle, and, encouraged, Nick went on,
“All that chemo must have killed off more of your brain cells than I thought.”
Claire
smiled. “That would be a convenient
excuse. Let’s go with that one, okay?”
“Your
call,” Nick agreed, grinning. He was
just happy to hear her admit it, that Jamie was a total jackass. It was about freaking time she clued in to
what he had known for years.
He extended
his grin to Laureen, who looked both amused and leery of seeming amused. “Laureen’s not used to our hospital talk,
Ren,” he said, winking at Claire. The
use of her nickname, bestowed upon her years ago by AJ, made the corners of
Claire’s mouth twitch upwards.
Claire shrugged apologetically at Laureen.
“Me and Stumpy over there talk about pretty much anything. Don’t mind us. It just comes with the territory. After enough of this shit, you have to make
jokes about it, or you’ll go crazy.”
Laureen
giggled good-naturedly, but Nick could see that she was feeling slightly
awkward. And who could blame her? The whole situation was awkward. Claire’s husband had left, at her request,
leaving her with her ex and his new girlfriend – if, in fact, that’s what
Laureen was now; he wasn’t sure – in a hospital room in the middle of the
night.
It wasn’t
just awkward; it was downright weird.
And yet, somehow, for Nick and Claire, it didn’t seem that unusual.
For
Laureen’s sake, though, they quit the dark-humored banter and got down to the
real reason he and Laureen had come. How
was she really? What had the doctors
said about her pregnancy and her babies? What had caused her to go into labor this
early? And how were they going to keep
it from happening again?
Nick asked
more questions than he probably should have, given the fact that he was just
the “friend” and the “ex,” not her husband, nor the father of her babies, but
he was genuinely concerned, knowing how much she had gone through to get
pregnant in the first place and fearing how much it would wreck her to lose the
pregnancy, after all of that. Claire,
never one to shy away from giving information, answered everything frankly and
openly, though the truth was that there really weren’t many answers. No one knew what had caused this to happen,
and it sounded like no one really knew how to prevent it from happening again.
“I’m afraid
they’re going to put me on bed rest though,” sighed Claire. “I’ve read the books, I’ve been to the
pregnancy forums, and it seems like that’s usually the case when something goes
wrong. And seeing as how I’m technically
not supposed to be due until March, that means…” She
counted wearily on her fingers. “… four
months stuck in bed.”
“Fun,” Nick
replied sarcastically. “I laid around
for, what, four weeks, after they chopped off my leg? And I wasn’t even stuck in bed; I could at
least crutch my ass around the house. And it still blew.”
“Gee,
thanks for the words of encouragement,” Claire teased. “Yeah, it’s gonna suck alright, if that’s
what ends up happening. But hey, for my
babies, I’ll do whatever it takes. I
can’t lose this pregnancy, Nick.”
Don’t you hang your head
Don’t you give up yet
When courage starts to disappear
I will be right here…
He saw her
hand reach beneath the covers to rest upon her belly, and he saw the look of
fear in her eyes. He wished there was
something he could say to reassure her, but there was nothing. This was something neither one of them had
any control over.
Perching on
the edge of her mattress, he put his hand on her shoulder and looked down into
her face. “Keep the faith, alright? You’ve been through scary stuff before, and
you’ve always made it through. You’re
strong, Claire. Your body is strong, and
so is your spirit. Just stay strong like
that for your kids, and I think everything will be alright. You don’t deserve anything less.”
“Sometimes
bad things happen, whether we deserve them or not,” murmured Claire, and he saw
her eyes fall upon his left leg. “But
thank you, Nick. I hope you’re right.”
Everybody cries, everybody bleeds
No one ever said that life’s an easy thing
That’s the beauty of it
When you lose your way
Close your eyes and go to sleep
And wake up to another day…
“Claire, no
matter what happens, we’ll be here for you,” spoke up Laureen earnestly.
When your world breaks down
And the voices tell you, turn around
When your dreams give out
I will carry you…
“Absolutely,”
Nick agreed. “If you do get put on bed
rest, we’ll start up the Monopoly marathon, Round 2. One of us will actually have a shot at
winning without Howie around to take over all the good properties.”
Claire
cracked a smile. “I dunno… it might end
up being the Laureen Legion of… well, damn, I can’t think of another
L-word. But it would be like the Dorough
Dominion of Doom.”
Laureen
laughed loudly, and Nick joined in, surprised that Claire still remembered the
Monopoly games they’d played while he was sick in bed with a healing stump for
a leg and a body pumped full of chemo.
He felt that if anyone could empathize with her being stuck in bed, he
could. And as she had helped to keep him
entertained back then, he would gladly do the same for her, if she would let
him.
Everything
was an “if” now. They would just have to
wait and see.
The waiting
game, thought Nick tiredly. It was
definitely not as enjoyable as Monopoly.
When the stars go blind
And the darkness starts to flood your eyes
When you’re fallin’ behind
I will carry you
You should know now that you’re not alone
Take my heart and we will find
You will find your way home
- “I Will Carry You” by Clay Aiken
***