Chapter 8
Lying here with you
I watch you while you sleep
The dawn is closing in
With every breath you breathe…
Claire
awoke the next morning feeling perfectly content. It was light outside, yet she could tell it
was still early in the morning. A light,
cool breeze drifted in through the open windows, billowing the sheer drapes and
tickling her face and arms. Carefully
untangling her legs from the covers, Claire rolled over slowly in bed and found
Nick still lying there at her side, sound asleep. She smiled at his peaceful face, admiring the
perfect messiness of his hair, the gentle arch of his eyebrows, the way his
lips were pressed together into almost a pout.
Thinking of
how nice it was to wake up beside him, she realized she could probably lie
there and watch him sleep for hours. But
they were in Hawaii! She wasn’t about to
waste her time doing that. Now that she
was awake, she was ready to get on with her day.
She leaned closer to Nick and lightly touched his cheek. When that did not cause him to stir, she ran
her fingers down his face, tracing the outline of his mouth, the stubble above
his upper lip rough against her fingertips.
“Nick,” she
whispered in his ear, growing impatient.
“Wake up.”
Finally,
that did it. A soft sigh escaped his
throat, and his eyelashes fluttered. She
smiled triumphantly as his blue eyes opened and focused on her. Beneath her fingers, his lips curved into a
smile, and he reached up and took her hand in his, softly kissing her
fingertips before drawing her hand down.
“’Morning,”
he said, his voice low and hoarse from sleep.
“’Morning,
sleepyhead.” Claire rolled over onto her
stomach, propped herself up on her elbows, and looked at him expectantly. “So,” she said, “what are we going to do
today?”
He
groaned. “What time is it?”
She looked
over at the clock on her side of the bed.
“7:30.”
“7:30??” he
repeated, his eyes bugging. “Jesus, no
wonder I’m still so tired. What’d you
have to wake me up for?”
“Cause
we’re in Hawaii, and I don’t want to waste the whole morning sleeping!”
“We’re on
vacation. That’s what vacations are
for. Sleeping in,” he murmured tiredly,
closing his eyes.
“No,” she
said, poking him in the side until his eyes flew open again. “That’s what weekends are for. Get up.”
“You
get up. I wanna sleep.” He closed his eyes again and did not move.
Claire
heaved an exaggerated sigh and rolled out of bed, making sure she jostled it as
much as possible in the process.
Glancing back at him, she could see his lips twitching as he tried hard
not to laugh, but she didn’t smile. Lazy
spoiled brat. Forget him; she’d go see
if AJ or Mary was up yet. She left the
master bedroom, shutting the door behind her, and padded out to the main part
of the house, only to find that the living room and kitchen were deserted. Okay, so AJ and Mary were still sleeping too.
She
wandered into the quiet kitchen and poured herself a glass of orange juice,
which she carried out onto the deck with her.
Perching on a deck chair, she took a sip of the juice and balanced the
small glass on her bare thigh as she looked out toward the ocean. The sun had already risen, and she was
disappointed she had missed it, sure that it had been spectacular. Oh well, she’d be sure to catch it later in
the week.
Behind her,
she was startled to hear the screen door slide open, breaking the morning’s
silence. Glancing over her shoulder, she
was hoping to see Nick, up and ready to join the land of the living, but
instead, it was AJ who had come out onto the deck.
She had to
smile as she looked at him. Apparently
she had never set eyes on him this early in the morning before because the AJ
who stood before her now was not the put together and perfectly groomed AJ she
was used to. He was shirtless, exposing
his heavily-tattooed upper body, and wearing only a pair of baggy boxer
shorts. His dark hair, which was usually
spiked to perfection, was disheveled from sleep, and a layer of stubble on his
face took away from his carefully manicured goatee.
“Morning,
Claire,” he greeted her with a groggy smile.
“Good
morning,” she replied brightly, watching in amusement as he shuffled across the
deck to the railing and proceeded to light up a cigarette. He took a long drag and closed his eyes,
savoring it. She shook her head,
wondering how he could stand it. She’d
smoked a cigarette only once, in high school.
It wasn’t a pleasant experience, one she vowed she’d never repeat.
Watching
him flick ash over the side of the railing and raise the cigarette to his lips
again, she said casually, “You do know those things could give you cancer.”
His profile
constricted as he scowled and turned to face her, looking all set to come back
at her with some snide retort. But then
he stopped, and his face slackened, as he seemed to realize who he was talking
to. He opened his mouth once, then
closed it without a word and reluctantly put out the cigarette.
Inwardly,
Claire was glad, but at the same time, she felt kind of guilty. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean you had to put it out.”
“I can take
a hint,” he replied gruffly.
“You’re an
adult, AJ, you can do what you want. I
was just giving you a hard time.” She
smiled apologetically, and he smirked, nodding.
“Yeah,” he
said, coming to take a seat beside her, “but you’re right. It’s a dumb thing to do, I know; I just can’t
help it. I don’t drink anymore, so I
smoke instead. Somehow it makes it
easier.” He shrugged.
“I
understand,” she nodded and decided to change the subject before she got
herself into more trouble. “So… Mary
still sleeping?”
“Yeah. Nick too?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Well, I
can fix that if you want him up.” A
devilish smile crept across his face, and his brown eyes sparkled wickedly.
Claire
snickered. “Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?”
He raised a
finger to his lips. “Come with me.”
***
“Stop
giggling!” AJ hissed, as Claire clamped a hand tightly over her mouth, trying
to stifle back her laughter.
“Sorry,”
she squeaked breathlessly. But it was
nearly impossible to keep from giggling as she looked at the man stretched out
on the bed in front of her.
Nick had
fallen back to sleep and was now out like a light again. AJ had explained that after years of spending
the night on moving tour buses, the guys had all developed the ability to sleep
through practically anything. Claire was
glad; Nick’s deep sleeping had worked to her advantage this time. The boy had slept on relatively peacefully
and totally oblivious, as she and AJ had raided Mary’s makeup stash and quickly
and carefully applied the products to Nick’s face. AJ had gone overkill with the blush, leaving
Nick looking like a doll with two large, bright pink circles on his cheeks,
while Claire had smeared shimmery purple shadow across his eyelids and did her
best to add a touch of black mascara to his lashes. Several coats of cherry red lipstick applied
to his lips and a large, hot pink Hawaiian flower from the bouquet in the
living room tucked behind one ear completed the look.
“Lemme get
my camera,” AJ whispered. “Be right
back.” He slinked out of the bedroom and
returned a moment later with a small, silver camera. “Better get a picture before we ruin it,” he
said and zoomed in to get a shot of Nick’s face. “Okay, now… the water.”
Feeling
quite evil, Claire ducked into the bathroom just long enough to fill a cup with
cold water from the faucet and then came back into the bathroom, holding up the
glass for AJ to see.
“Exxxxxcellent…” AJ rubbed his hands together like Mr. Burns
and then held up his camera. “Dump it on
him, and I’ll get a picture.”
Claire
nodded and crept up closer to the bed.
She held out the glass, hesitated only a moment, and then flung all of
the water in it onto her sleeping boyfriend.
She jumped out of the way just as Nick jerked up, gasping and
sputtering. Over the sound of her own
hysterical laughter, she heard a click and saw a flash as AJ, cackling just as
hard, snapped a photo.
The
laughter was cut short, however, when Nick, totally discombobulated, exclaimed
“What the fuck?” and leaped out of bed.
He tried to land on the leg that was no longer there and went down like
a lead balloon, hitting the floor with a massive thud.
“Nick!”
Claire cried, aghast, and ran around the bed to where he was lying in a
crumpled heap. “Oh my God, Nick, I’m so
sorry!! Are you okay??” He had rolled onto his side now, and though
his back was to her, she could see his hands clutching the end of his
stump. Pains shot through her, and she
gasped, “Oh God, Nick, did you land on-?“
She couldn’t even get the words out; it made her hurt too much to even
think about it. Sinking quickly to her
knees, she crawled around him so that she was kneeling in front of him.
“Is he
okay?” she heard AJ ask. She didn’t
reply. Nick was clearly hurting; his
eyes were squeezed shut, and he was breathing raggedly.
She put her
hand on his shoulder and gripped it firmly.
“Nick, come on, talk to me,” she pleaded.
“Go away,”
he mumbled, his voice sounding strained.
Claire
looked up helplessly at AJ, who only shrugged.
She shook her head. “Not till I
know you’re all right. What did you hit? D-did you hit your-“
“My stump?”
Nick spat venomously, his eyes flashing open to glare at her through a sheen of
moisture. “Yes, and it hurts like a
motherfucker!!”
Claire bit
her lip. “I’m sorry… what can I do?”
“I think
you did enough by throwing water on me!” he retorted, making her wince
again. He didn’t even know about the
makeup yet; the mascara was running in streaks down his cheeks from the water
he’d been doused with, making him look even worse. She felt terrible, and she wanted to just
sink through the floor and disappear, but she couldn’t leave him, not until she
was sure he was all right.
Vaguely,
she heard the door swing open, and then Mary’s voice asked, “What happened??”
“AJ, get
her out,” Nick said miserably through gritted teeth.
Claire
looked up at AJ again and watched as he guiltily followed his girlfriend out of
the bedroom. He closed the door behind
them and did not return, leaving Claire alone on the floor with Nick, who was
still curled up on his side, his eyes closed once more.
“Lemme help
you up, Nick,” she said softly.
“Okay?” She started to slide her
hands under his arms, prepared to haul him up, but he pushed her away.
“I can do
it myself,” he snapped.
Mutely,
Claire nodded and scooted back, watching warily as he sat up and then rose onto
his one knee. Grabbing the edge of the
bed for support, he stood up shakily and crawled back into bed. He stretched out on his back and closed his
eyes. Claire hesitated a moment, then
perched on the edge of the bed and reached out to grab his hand. She gave it a slight squeeze and said again
in a tiny voice, “I’m so sorry, Nick.”
***
Nick didn’t
reply, and Claire went on, “We didn’t mean for you to get hurt… we were just
having fun.”
“Yeah, at
my expense,” he mumbled. “Hope you had
your fun cause I sure as hell didn’t.”
He opened
his eyes to see Claire shaking her head.
“How’s your leg?” she asked after a minute. “How bad did you hit it? Do you think it’s okay?”
To be
honest, he didn’t think he’d really banged it too bad. He’d half caught himself with his hands,
softening the blow of his stump against the carpeted floor. But he hadn’t been exaggerating earlier; it
really had hurt. The pains shot all the
way up and down the left side of his body, almost like he’d been shocked. They were fading away now, but his stump was
still sore, and he wondered if he’d have a bruise.
He looked
at Claire, prepared to tell her exactly how bad it had felt and how he could
practically feel the black and blue bump forming at its rounded end, but the
look on her face made him hesitate. He’d
been too angry and in too much pain earlier to notice, but she looked
absolutely stricken, her face a mask of guilt and alarm. He was still pissed at her for humiliating
him and causing him to hurt himself, but he didn’t want to make her feel worse.
“I think
it’s all right,” he said slowly. “It’s
starting to feel better.”
“Do you
want some ice for it? Would that help?”
Claire asked.
“Um… sure,
maybe.” Nick shrugged.
Claire
nodded. “I’ll go get some. Don’t move; I’ll be right back.” She left the room, and he heard her
conversing with AJ outside the door, although he could not make out what they
were saying. Trying to ignore the
muffled voices, Nick sat up and carefully peeled off the stretchy “sock” he
usually wore over his stump, anxious to see if any damage had been done. The skin looked red where he’d made contact
with the floor, but there was no sign of bruising. Yet when he gingerly prodded the red spot,
the whole limb twinged, and he winced.
“Is it
okay?” Claire asked, breezing back into the room. She was carrying a washcloth packed with ice
cubes. “Couldn’t find any plastic bags
to put it in,” she said apologetically, “so this will have to do.”
“That’s
fine,” said Nick.
“So is it
okay?” she asked again and looked carefully at his stump. “It doesn’t look like it’s bruising yet,
that’s good.”
“Yeah,” he
mumbled, uncomfortable with her examining it so closely. The only time he ever showed it uncovered was
when they were swimming, and then it was hidden beneath the water, not out in
the open for her to have to look at.
“Here,” she
said, “hopefully this will help.” Very
delicately, she draped the makeshift ice pack over his thigh. “Does that feel okay?”
“Yeah, it’s
fine,” replied Nick. “Come up
here.” He patted the empty space on her
side of the bed. She managed a slight
smile and came around to the other side of the bed. She climbed on and sat cross-legged in the
middle of the bed, facing him.
“I’m
sorry,” she said for at least the fourth time, the look of guilt reappearing on
her face.
“It’s
okay. I know you didn’t expect me to be
a dumbass and fall out of bed.”
“Just like
you didn’t expect to have cold water dumped all over you. I’m sorry.”
Five times she’d said it now.
He pulled
his drenched t-shirt away from his body and chuckled. “Nope, definitely didn’t see that
coming. But you never paid me back for
that April Fool’s prank, so I guess I had it coming, huh?” He expected her to smile, but she was still
looking guilty. “Claire,” he said,
“whatever I said a few minutes ago, you know I didn’t mean – I was in agony,
okay, and I was embarrassed.”
She shook
her head. “It’s not that…” she
replied. “It’s just… well…” She bit her lip. “You should see your face.”
“Wha…?” Confused, Nick reached up and ran his hands
over his face. It was wet, but other
than that, it seemed normal. But when he
lowered his hands and looked at his fingertips, he was startled to find them
dotted with pink, brushed with purple, and smeared with black. “What the-“
“It’s
makeup,” she whispered, watching him carefully and looking ready to dart out of
the way at any moment, in case he decided to strike.
With a
sinking feeling, Nick realized how truly idiotic he must have looked a few
minutes ago… and how utterly pathetic he had to look now. He felt his face getting hot with
humiliation, but he tried to hide it (not realizing that the rouge on his
cheeks already camouflaged his flush quite well). You deserved it, he told himself,
remembering all the pranks he’d played on AJ throughout the years and the April
Fool he’d pulled over on Claire. But he
couldn’t help but feel a little exploited.
“I’m so
sorry, Nick.” Six times. “It was supposed to be funny, but it totally
backfired. Shows what I get for trying
to prank you.”
“Yeah… this
should be a lesson to you – never mess with the master.” He forced himself to smile, to let her know
he wasn’t angry. Well… not too angry
anyway.
Claire
smiled. “Well, come here, Master, I
wanna kiss those ruby red lips of yours.”
Ruby red lips?! Nick thought in horror, but his thoughts were
silenced as she leaned forward, wrapped her arms loosely around his neck, and
kissed him. When she pulled away, her
lips were red too.
He pointed
this out, and she giggled. “Are
they?” Leaning forward again, she
pressed her lips to his forehead, and when she pulled back, she grinned
widely. “They are!”
Assuming he
now had a big red lip-print on his forehead to go with the rest of his makeup
job, he grinned and pulled her back to him, leaning forward himself to do the
same to her. Moments later, she had a
pair of red lips on her own forehead.
“If anyone saw you now, they’d have a fun time figuring out that one,”
he chuckled.
She
smirked. “They’d probably think I was a
lesbian.”
“Or that I
was a drag queen.”
They both
laughed.
“How’s that
ice pack?” asked Claire. “Is it
working?”
Nick
considered this. The ice pack was
definitely getting cold, and it didn’t seem to be helping much. If anything, it was making it worse, for all
of a sudden he was aware of dull pains shooting up and down his leg… all the
way down to his toes. Phantom
pains. He didn’t get them very often
anymore, but every once in awhile, they still plagued him. And he was sure it was the ice that was
bringing them on this time.
“No,” he
answered Claire’s question, shifting uncomfortably, “actually, I think the
cold’s making it worse…”
“Oh. Well, so much for that idea.” She reached out and carefully scooped up the
ice-filled washcloth. Her fingers
brushed against his skin as she did so, sending tingles through him. He jerked in surprise at the sensation; his
stump had always seemed particularly sensitive, but it had been a long time
since anyone but he had touched it. In
fact, no one had ever touched it, other than his surgeon and the nurses at the
hospital.
“I’m
sorry,” Claire said quickly, probably alarmed by his reaction.
He shook
his head. “No, you’re fine,” he assured
her. “It’s just sensitive; I wasn’t expecting
it.”
“Did I hurt
you?” she asked, biting her lip apprehensively.
“I didn’t mean to touch it; I was trying to be gentle.”
He smiled a
little. “You were,” he said, “and no,
you didn’t hurt me. You can touch it if
you want to.”
She met his
eyes, and for a moment, she did not move.
Then, slowly, she reached out and placed her hand upon his thigh. Her palm felt so warm compared to the cold
ice pack that had rested there before, and again, his skin tingled with her
touch. But it was a good tingle, and it
took the place of the phantom pains, relaxing him. He let out the breath he’d been holding in a
soft sigh.
“Are you
okay with this?” Claire asked, still looking deep into his eyes. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
He knew she
was thinking of that night at the beginning of April (the same day he’d played
that prank on her, ironically). He’d
recoiled at the mere idea of her nearing that spot, and yet, now she was
actually touching him there, and… he was okay with it. “Yeah,” he said softly, “it’s fine. You’re not making me uncomfortable. It’s… it’s a part of my body. It’s… me.”
He looked down at her hand, still resting motionlessly on the remnant of
his severed leg, on the ugly stump he detested, and then slowly raised his eyes
back up to meet yours. “I just don’t
want you to be uncomfortable.”
She shook
her head, her eyes never leaving his.
“I’m not,” she stated simply.
“Like you said, it’s just a part of your body. It’s you.
And I love you, Nick. Just the
way you are.”
I can feel the change
The change you’ve made in me
But will I ever see
All the things you see in me
When you say that I’m one of a kind
Baby, I don’t see it, but you believe
That I’m so strong and true, I promise you
I’ll try to be that kind of man
Because you love me like I am
When it comes to love
I may not know the rules
But there’s one thing I know
My heart belongs to you…
You show me you love me
With a fire that burns deep inside
When you say that I’m one of a kind
Baby, I don’t see it, but you believe
That I’m so strong and true, I promise you
I’ll try to be that kind of man
Because you love me like I am…
I’ll never understand
I don’t think I’ll ever understand
Why you love me
Why you love me just like I am
- “Like I Am” by Rascal Flatts
***
AN: Thanks to Bean for the lyrics – I’m not a country fan,
so I would have never found them myself!