Chapter 80
“So, you
had a nice Christmas then?” Jamie asked, looking over at Claire as he dropped
the cardboard box he was carrying onto the bare kitchen counter.
Claire set
her box down next to his and immediately started pulling back the flaps on the
top to open it. “Yeah, it actually
turned out to be a pretty good one,” she replied as she set to work unpacking
the box, pulling out Jamie’s mismatched collection of silverware and cooking
utensils and lining them up on the counter in front of her. “Kyle and Amber came over after they did
stuff with her family, and it was fun having the baby there.” Little Kamden had spent Christmas Day being
passed from her arms to her mother’s, to her father’s, and back to her
again. He was the only distraction from
a holiday that was otherwise quite dismal, for her at least.
“Aw, sure,
I bet,” Jamie said with a smile. “So do
you have pictures of the little rugrat yet?”
“Pictures!”
cried Dianna’s voice, as she burst into the small kitchen, struggling under the
weight of another box, which she lowered to the floor with a dramatic “oomph!” Straightening up, she chirped, “I wanna see
baby pictures!”
“Well,
you’re in luck,” Claire replied, grinning broadly. She found her purse and retrieved her
billfold, which she’d just loaded with the pictures of her newborn nephew that
Amber had given her at Christmas.
“Here,” she said, handing it to Dianna, who cooed over each one of them.
“Red hair,”
Jamie observed when he finally got a look.
“He’s a Ryan alright.”
Claire
smiled and nodded. “Yep. Although it’s sort of strawberry blonde, so
we’re wondering if it will lighten when he gets older.”
“Hasn’t
happened to any of you yet,” said Jamie, tugging playfully on a lock of her
undeniably red hair.
She eased
away from him, returning to her box.
“So, how do you want your cupboards and drawers organized?” she asked,
waving a spatula around at the storage space in Jamie’s kitchen.
Jamie
shrugged. “Just throw stuff wherever,”
he replied.
“You can’t
just do that; how will you ever find anything??” she demanded. Meeting Dianna’s eyes across the room, she
shook her head and muttered, “Men. Be
thankful you have a couple of females to help you out, Jamie. Di and I will get it organized, but you have
to keep it that way.”
“Be my
guest,” Jamie said, pushing his box towards her with a smirk. “I’m gonna go bring some more stuff in.”
“Boys –
they’re hopeless,” said Dianna as she came over to help Claire finish unpacking
the boxes.
Jamie had
followed his older brother Brad all the way from Iowa to Florida the day after
Christmas with a small U-haul loaded with his belongings. Now he’d recruited Claire and Dianna to help
him move it all from his brother’s house to his new apartment.
“You know,
you’re gonna have to help me do this in another week,” Claire mentioned when
Jamie walked in with the next load.
“Really? You signed a lease on a place?”
“Yep.” Her search for a new apartment in Tampa had
gone surprisingly well – she’d found an affordable one-bedroom in a newer
building that was nicer than the last one she’d lived in. The rent was more than she’d been paying
before, but she’d saved up enough from months of not paying rent while she
lived with Nick and the extra income she’d been making by working at two
different offices all month that it wouldn’t be a problem. She was excited about moving back into her
own place, after weeks of living with her parents in Gainesville and staying at
Dianna’s when she was in Tampa for work.
She loved them all, but it would be nice to be on her own again. “I can move in anytime after New Year’s, so
whenever you guys are available…”
“You got
it,” Jamie replied with a smile. “I can
make time any weekend; just say the word.”
“Same
here,” Dianna chimed in.
“Awesome. Thank you, guys.”
“Anytime,”
said Jamie. “Hey, speaking of New Year’s
– you ladies have plans yet?”
Claire
shrugged, and Dianna did the same. “Todd
and I will probably spend it together, but we don’t know what we’re doing yet,”
Dianna elaborated. “Why, you wanna do
something?”
“Yeah, I
was thinking of having a little get-together over here… housewarming-slash-New
Year’s party kind of thing, you know?” Jamie replied casually.
“Well,
would you mind if I brought Todd?”
“Not at
all.”
“Okay. I’ll talk to him and see what he wants to
do,” said Dianna.
“Cool.” Jamie’s eyes shifted to Claire. “Clairie?
What about you?”
Claire
hesitated. “Who else are you inviting?”
she asked.
His answer
was just what she had suspected. “Just a
few of the guys… I think you’ve met some of them. You remember Greg and Jerr?”
She
remembered all right. “Ohh-ho-ho,
you’re the one who’s dating the Backstreet Gimp, aren’t you?”
“How could
I forget?” she muttered. “Did Greg’s
black eye heal up okay?”
Jamie
smirked. “Eventually. You’re not gonna hold a grudge against him
forever for saying whatever he said about Nick, are you? I mean, you’re not even with Nick anymore,
so… ancient history. Right?”
Claire
rolled her eyes. “This isn’t about
Nick. What that guy said was mean and
rude, and it says a lot about the type of person he is. I’d rather not ring in the new year with a
couple of jerks.”
Jamie’s
eyes widened. “Ouch… okay then. Well, if it helps, there are a couple of
other people coming that you haven’t met, so it won’t just be-“
“No,
really, I don’t think I can come anyway, Jamie,” Claire interrupted. “Kyle and Amber are thinking of getting
together with some of their friends, cause they haven’t gone out and done
anything since Kamden was born, so I offered to babysit.” It wasn’t a lie – although nothing was set in
stone yet, she had offered to babysit if her brother and sister-in-law wanted
to go out. She’d known she wouldn’t feel
like doing anything else; New Year’s was going to be tough, for it would have
been the one-year mark for her and Nick’s relationship. Now it was just going to be a reminder of what
she’d given up on.
“Oh. Well, okay then…” Jamie trailed off sadly,
heaving a dramatic sigh. He gave her the
puppy dog face, complete with his bottom lip turned all the way down in a pout
– a look he had perfected over the years – and added, “If Kyle and Amber’s
plans fall through though, you should come over.”
She smiled
wryly. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”
***
“So, I have
a question,” said Dianna later that day, popping a fry into her mouth. The two women had stopped for fast food on
the way back from Jamie’s apartment; hours of helping him unpack and organize
his stuff had left them both tired and starving.
Claire
didn’t like the singsong-y quality of Dianna’s voice; it only meant she was
going to tease her about something.
“What?” she asked flatly.
Dianna
swallowed and took a sip of her drink before continuing. “When,” she started finally, “are you going
to give Jamie a second chance?”
Claire
blinked. “Excuse me?”
“Don’t play
dumb. You’ve had to have noticed the way
he flirts with you.”
“What?! Flirts with me? Dianna, he’s Jamie – he talks like
that to all women. You know he’s always
liked to think of himself as some ladies man… psh,” she snorted
derisively. “This is nothing new.”
“Well,
you’re right with that last part – it’s nothing new; he’s been doing it for
months. Every time he’s been down here
in the last year, I’ve noticed it. And
maybe Jamie is a flirt, but he sure doesn’t talk to me that way. Or look at me that way either, for that
matter,” Dianna said bluntly.
“Look
at you? What are you talking about? How does he look at me?”
“The same
way he used to look at you when we were in high school. When he was in love with you.”
Claire
shook her head. “No,” she said firmly. “Jamie broke up with me in high
school. He dumped me. You can’t tell me he’s still… ‘in love’ with
me, or something – that’s ridiculous.”
“Oh, like
you’ve never made a mistake… or changed your mind about something. It can happen, Claire. He still has feelings for you!”
“Has he told
you that?” Claire asked incredulously.
She didn’t want to believe it.
Jamie couldn’t still have feelings for her. That would mean Nick had been right all
along…
“No, but he
doesn’t have to. I told you, I can see
it. He’s always felt differently about
you than any of his other female friends, and it’s always showed. I had you guys pegged as a couple months
before you actually became one in high school… remember?”
Claire
groaned. “This isn’t high school,
Di. We’re so past that. He and I broke up like eight years ago!”
“Well,
maybe he regrets that! Maybe he’s
finally grown up and realized how stupid he was to let you go back then, and
now he wants you back.”
Claire
squirmed in her seat as she felt herself start to blush. Oh God, Nick had said that too! “Claire, the guy basically told me he
wanted you back!” she could hear him shouting in her head. “Di…” she moaned, putting her flaming face in
her hands. “Why are you telling me this
now?”
“Cause
you’re single now,” Dianna replied, as if it were obvious. “I wasn’t gonna say anything while you were
all head over heels with Nick, but now that you’re not… I just thought I’d get
your take on it.”
“Well, I
don’t want to think about it,” Claire mumbled.
“I can’t think about pursuing a relationship with anybody right now…
especially Jamie. That’s just…
weird. I need to be alone right now
anyway.”
“I know,
girl. I wasn’t saying you had to do
anything right now. It’s just, after
four hours of listening to him beg you to come to his New Year’s party and
watching him play with your hair and somehow manage to touch you every time he
got near you… I had to say something.”
Oh God… he
had done all of those things, hadn’t he?
She shook
her head vigorously. “Please, let’s stop
talking about this. It’s just too
awkward right now, with Jamie… and Nick… and…”
She trailed off, feeling totally overwhelmed. Her emotions were pulling her every which
way, and she didn’t know whether to smile or scream, laugh or cry.
Finally,
sensing her frustration, Dianna let up.
“Okay. I’m sorry, girl; I
understand. You’re right – it’s too soon
to be talking about any of this.” She
popped the last of her fries into her mouth and smiled. “Let’s go back up and get dessert.”
***
“You know
something? Men are confusing. Don’t ever grow up to be like that,” Claire
murmured to the sleeping infant in her arms.
She gently stroked Kamden’s soft, smooth cheek as she rocked slowly back
and forth in Amber’s rocking chair.
It was New
Year’s Eve, and she was spending it just as she’d told Jamie she was – at her
brother’s house, enjoying a quiet night of babysitting. She had urged Kyle to take Amber out for the
night; she’d wanted something to do, to take her mind off of Nick, but she wasn’t
about to go to Jamie’s party. She didn’t
want him on her mind either.
Okay, so it
wasn’t really working. There was only so
much you could do with a three-week-old baby – hold him, feed him, burp him,
and change his diapers – and she’d done
it all. As she sat rocking him, hardly
watching the annual Dick Clark special that she’d muted on the TV across the
room, her mind had inevitably wandered back to both men.
Jamie was
easy enough to push out of her thoughts, but Nick was much harder. She couldn’t help but miss him that
night. If she had not left, they would
have been spending New Year’s together, celebrating a mostly-wonderful year
together and looking forward to 2006, the year they would be married. Every anniversary they would have celebrated after
this one would be a marriage anniversary.
But it was
not to be.
Sighing
wistfully, she carefully readjusted the sleeping bundle in her arms and glanced
up at the television. She did a
double-take, startled to see the lanky, blonde, miniature version of Nick on
the screen, dancing around the stage in Rockefeller Plaza, microphone in
hand. Aaron Carter; his name was
captioned in bold at the bottom of the picture.
Reaching for the remote, she turned the volume up a few notches so that
she could hear him singing. She
swallowed hard; he sounded so much like Nick.
So there’s Aaron… she thought, and her mind then made
the unavoidable turn… Where’s Nick?
She wondered what he was doing right at that moment… and if he was having
a good time… and if he was being safe… and if he was thinking of her too.
***
Nick had
planned to be home in Florida through the first week of January, but he had
gone back to Los Angeles early. Now he
stood in the midst of a crowded Hollywood party, holding an empty glass, his
head already light from the alcohol he’d had, despite the fact that it was only
ten o’clock.
Vaguely, he
was aware of someone tapping him on the shoulder and a hand pointing across the
room. He glanced up to see the ball in
Times Square dropping slowly on a giant TV screen mounted high on the
wall. It was almost midnight on the east
coast… midnight at home in Tampa. He
should have been there, watching the ball drop with Claire in his arms, ready
to kiss her on the stroke of midnight and celebrate a year’s worth of love.
But instead
he was here, being bumped and jostled as people danced and celebrated around
him, chanting the seconds till midnight in New York along with the crowd on
TV. He stared at the screen without really
seeing it. His eyes followed the
shimmering globe’s steady descent, but behind them, all he could see was
Claire’s face.
***