Chapter 87
AN: Another thanks to my medical consultant, Carrie! :)
Claire’s
eyes flew open as she jerked awake, her heart racing. She realized it was a dream as soon as she
realized she could still see the glow of her alarm clock out of both eyes. Thank God, she thought, still
trembling from the nightmare. She
squinted at the clock, trying to make out the blurry numbers. Only 4:30.
She could sleep for another two hours.
That is, if she could actually get back to sleep. After that dream, she wasn’t sure. Her nervousness had returned; in three hours,
she would be on her way to the hospital for the real surgery.
Her stomach
jolted at the thought, making her feel nauseous. She lay back down and tried to let herself
drift off to sleep again, but it didn’t happen.
She was wide awake now. Sighing,
she gave up on sleep and rolled out of bed.
Padding through the dark apartment, she made her way into the living
room and turned on the TV, hoping she could distract herself until it was time
to get ready and wait for Nick.
***
Pulling
into the parking lot of the small apartment complex, Nick shut off his engine
and surveyed the building through his windshield. So this was Claire’s new home. It didn’t look bad from the outside; it was
newer than the last complex she’d lived in anyway. Opening his door, he climbed out of the car
and started across the parking lot. He
only got halfway when the main door of the building opened, and Claire
appeared.
“Hey!” Nick
called in surprise, as she came towards him.
“I was gonna come up.”
“No need,”
said Claire, offering him a wan smile.
“I’ve been up since 4:30.”
“Dang,
girl,” he remarked and took a second to look her over. She was dressed comfortably, in a t-shirt and
a pair of workout pants that were just fitted enough to show off the gentle
curves of her hips. Her left arm was
wrapped in a bright purple cast and cradled at chest-level in a blue sling, a
reminder of the trauma she’d been through since Nick had seen her. In the corner of her forehead was the
remnants of a cut. It looked almost
healed, but Nick could tell it was going to leave a small scar. “You look good,” he told her, because,
despite the wear and tear, she did.
She stuck
her tongue out and snorted. “Right. This is hot, isn’t it?” she asked
sarcastically, lifting her broken arm, sling and all.
“Oh,
totally. The cripple look is the
fashion trend of 2006 – hadn’t you heard?” Nick played along. “You and me… they should put us on the
magazine covers, yo. We’re hot.”
Claire
giggled and gave him an appreciative smile.
“How are ya, Nick?” she asked, as he turned to walk her the rest of the
way to his car. He’d brought the silver
Jaguar because he knew it was her favorite.
“I’m
alright,” he shrugged, opening her door for her. Walking around the back of the car to get to
the driver’s side, he climbed in and added, “How about you?”
“I’ll be
much better in a couple of hours, I’m sure,” she said, flashing him a tight
smile.
He smiled
back and put his hand on her thigh without a second thought, giving it a
reassuring squeeze. “You will be,” he
replied. “Just don’t sneeze during the
surgery.” He was only joking, trying to
help her relax, but her eyes widened in horror.
“I’m just kid-“ he started to say, but she interrupted him.
“I had a
nightmare, and that’s exactly what happened!” she gasped. “I-I had to sneeze, and I couldn’t help it,
and everything went black! I was totally
freaked out when I woke up…”
Nick looked
at her sympathetically. “I’m sorry; I
was just kidding,” he said, feeling guilty.
“I’m sure that won’t happen though… they gotta have some kind of
procedure for if you have to sneeze or something; otherwise people would be
going blind right and left. I’ve heard
it’s a pretty easy surgery though.”
He’d looked it up on the internet a few days ago, anxious to find out
exactly what she’d be going through. It
didn’t sound as bad as he thought it would be – only a ten minute procedure,
and she’d be awake the whole time. The
thought of that had freaked him out, but he figured there were probably less
risks without the general anesthesia.
“I know;
that’s what they told me too. I’m sure it’ll
be fine; I’m just a big baby,” Claire replied sheepishly.
Nick
chuckled. “Well, don’t worry, baby;
Daddy Nick is here.” He gave her a pat
on the head, smiling paternally.
She rolled
her eyes. “You’re weird,” she said,
trying not to smile.
He laughed
and turned on the ignition, bringing the Jag to life. “Takes one to know one,” he replied, as he
twisted around in his seat and backed the car out of its space.
***
Two hours
later, Nick sat in a waiting room in Tampa General’s ophthalmology department,
flipping absently through a two-year-old copy of Entertainment Weekly
that he’d found at the back of the rack and wondering when Claire would be
done.
Hey! he thought in surprise, as something in the magazine caught his
eye. He did a double-take and found
himself staring down at a promotional picture of him and the guys, one of the
many they had taken for their last album release. It accompanied a review of the album and a
brief article, which he skimmed out of curiosity (and sheer boredom).
“… The ‘Boys’ – who now range in age
from 24 (Carter) to 32 (Richardson) – show a deeper side on this album than
they have on previous releases. It’s
understandable. Besides the fact that
they’ve undeniably matured into Backstreet ‘Men,’ members of the pop quintet
have been through some tough stuff these last few years. In 2001, McLean completed a stint in rehab
for alcoholism, drug abuse, and depression.
More recently, Carter shocked fans across the globe last summer when he
announced that he was battling a rare form of bone cancer. After undergoing a course of chemotherapy,
Carter went into remission in August 2003 and has been disease-free ever
since…”
Ha, thought Nick, his eyes drawn to his own image on the glossy
page. The picture featured him standing
in the middle, Brian, Kevin, AJ, and Howie posed strategically around him. His gaze lingered on his left leg, and he
marveled over the realization that the cancer had been spreading inside it even
when this photo shoot took place. A
month after this review had been published, his leg was gone altogether. He swallowed hard, the memory making him feel
slight sick to his stomach even now, nearly two years later.
“Nick?”
Nick’s head
shot up at the sound of his name, and he was startled to find Claire standing
in front of him. He blinked in surprise;
when had she come up? He had been so
engrossed in his own press, he hadn’t even noticed her.
“Hey!” he
cried, eyes flying to her face. “You
look like a pirate!”
She
grinned, her cheeks tinting light pink beneath the stark black shield that
covered her left eye. “Arrr,
matey,” she growled good-naturedly.
Nick smiled
in return. “So how’d it go? I take it you didn’t sneeze and make yourself
blind under that thing?”
Claire
laughed. “Nope. They had my head strapped down so I couldn’t
move, and the doc told me to tell him I was going to cough or sneeze, just in
case. But everything went fine, and I
can see perfectly again! It was so cool
– what they did was take the clouded lens of my eye out and replace it with an
artificial lens, and I knew as soon as they took the old lens out because
everything went totally dark… only it was supposed to, not like in my
dream. And I thought, ‘This must be what
it’s like to be blind.’ It was kind of
scary, but cool at the same time!”
Nick’s eyes
widened as he watched her in awe. “That
must have been weird…” he breathed.
“It
was! But yay, one eye down, one to go,”
she replied cheerfully.
Nick
smiled, glad to have her in better spirits than she had been that morning. “I say that calls for a celebration. You up for pizza and shakes?” Okay, so it was only ten in the morning… but
there was never a wrong time for pizza and ice cream in Nick’s world.
“Are you
kidding? I’m starving! They wouldn’t let me eat breakfast this
morning.”
“Well,
there you have it – pizza and milkshakes, the perfect breakfast combination,”
Nick joked, standing up.
Claire
laughed. “Sounds great. You won’t be embarrassed by my scurvy eye
patch?” she teased, as they walked out of the waiting room together.
“Nah… if
you want, I can roll my pants up and show off my peg leg. Then I’ll look like a pirate too, and you can
be my pirate wench.”
They
laughed all the way down the hall, teasing each other back and forth with ease,
and to Nick, it felt almost like old times.
The times before they had ever dated, when things were difficult and
complicated, and yet, so much more simple.
When they were just friends, friends who understood each other and were
always there for one another.
Nick hoped
it could be that way again, without the tension that had existed between them
ever since Claire had backed out of their engagement. The pain she had caused Nick still existed,
as a dull ache in the depths of his soul, but he feared the pain of losing her
altogether would be even worse. He
didn’t want to experience that kind of pain.
It was better to be her friend and ache because he wanted to be more,
than to be nothing to her at all.
As they
stood gasping for breath as they waited for an elevator, Claire suddenly let go
of her side, which she’d been holding as she laughed, and reached out to touch
Nick’s arm. “Thanks for coming with me
today, Nick,” she said softly, offering him a smile of humble gratitude.
Nick
returned the smile and caught her hand as it slid down his arm. Giving it a squeeze, he replied, “Anytime,
Claire.”
I will stand up for you
No matter what you’re going through
You found a place where you belong
New friends who can do no wrong
That’s what you believe
But who’s gonna be there when you fall
To build you up when you’re feeling small
Give you love that you need
Who will?
I will
When the whole world turns against you
Ain’t no lie
Don’t you know that
I will stand up for you
No matter what you’re going through
I’m still on your side
Anytime, day or night
Don’t care if it’s wrong or right
I’m still on your side
You wanna run, you wanna break free
But what you want ain’t what you need
Can’t you see that I care?
I know I’m hard on you sometimes
But when you’re looking for the things you can’t find
Don’t know you know who’ll be there
Who will?
I will
When it’s more than you can handle
Ain’t no lie
Don’t you know that
I will stand up for you
No matter what you’re going through
I’m still on your side
Anytime, day or night
Don’t care if it’s wrong or right
I’m still on your side
I’ll be there
I’ll be there when you need me
I won’t let you go
There’s nothing I won’t do
I’ll be there, you know
I will stand up for you
No matter what you’re going through
I’m still on your side
Anytime, day or night
Don’t care if it’s wrong or right
I’m still on your side
I will still be around
When the others let you down
I’m still on your side
Anytime you need help
And you can’t find nobody else
I’m still on your side
- “Still On Your Side” by BBMak
***