Chapter
19
The following day dawned warm and sunny. Birds chirped outside, and the sun shined
brightly in a cloudless, blue sky.
Outside, it was the epitome of a perfect day.
But inside Tampa General Hospital, Nick Carter was facing a day
full of tests to determine what stage his newly diagnosed bone cancer was in.
Yes, it was a perfect day all right.
Right after breakfast, Nick was taken to x-ray for his first two
tests, the chest x-ray and the ultrasound.
According to Dr. Kingsbury, these were the easy tests. The hard one, the bone marrow exam, would
take place later that afternoon. The
chest x-ray and ultrasound turned out to be quite simple and not as
uncomfortable as the CT scan he had gone through days before. But the bone marrow was another story.
When Nick was wheeled into a small room with a padded table in the
center that afternoon, he really did not know what to expect. He was nervous, but still, part of him was
thinking, It can’t be that bad.
He was in for an unpleasant surprise.
A nurse and technician greeted him at the door and helped him onto
the table.
“Hi, Mr. Carter, I’m Lily,” the nurse introduced once Nick was
sitting upon the table. “Has your doctor
explained this test to you at all yet?”
“Uh, no, not really,” answered Nick.
“All right. Well, what
we’re going to do is insert a needle into your hip bone and extract some bone
marrow cells from inside it.”
Nick blanched, the color draining from his face. So it was going to be that bad.
Seeing his face, the nurse smiled understandingly. “We’ll give you a local anesthetic to numb
the area and relieve the pain. You’ll
probably feel some pressure when the needle goes in, but other than that, it
shouldn’t be too bad.”
Yeah right,
Nick thought, but he nodded and tried not to reveal the fact that he was on the
verge of panic.
“I’ll need you to lie on your stomach on the table, Mr. Carter,”
said Lily, crossing the room to an area where there was a counter and supply
cabinets. Nick re-positioned himself on
the table, and Lily came back over to him.
“I’m just going to sterilize the area first,” she said. “This will feel a little cool.” She pulled back Nick’s hospital gown,
exposing his back. He flinched as she
rubbed a cold liquid over his left hip.
“There. Now I’m going to give you
a small injection of the anesthetic to dull the pain. This will only hurt a second.”
Nick squeezed his eyes shut until he felt his skin being pricked
with the syringe. It really wasn’t bad
though, just a regular shot, and he relaxed a bit, thinking the actual
withdrawal of his bone marrow could be no worse. After all, it wasn’t even going to hurt, not
with the anesthetic.
Lily waited a moment for the anesthetic to kick in, and when
Nick’s hip region was numb, she said, “Okay, are you ready, Mr. Carter?”
He really wasn’t, but he figured he might as well get it over
with. “Sure,” he said through gritted
teeth. Lily and her assistant got into
position, one on each side of the table.
“Okay, Mr. Carter, you need to hold still while I insert the
needle. It will only take a few
seconds.”
“’Kay,” said Nick. The
technician placed his hands on Nick’s back and shoulder, holding him in place,
and Nick felt a pang of fear. This
procedure must be pretty bad if they had to bring people in to hold even adults
down…
Nick took a deep breath, trying to keep calm and lie still. Only a few seconds, he told himself,
remembering Lily’s words. Then it
will be over.
Those few seconds were among the worst in Nick’s life. Keeping his eyes shut tight, he never saw the
needle Lily used. But, based on what he
felt when it slid into his pelvis, it had to be gargantuan. Although the anesthetic was supposed to have
numbed him, Nick felt the needle slid through his skin and into his bone. First there was a great deal of pressure,
then pain. Searing, sucking pain that
ripped at his insides and brought tears to the corners of his eyes.
Finally, the needle was retracted, and the heavy pain faded,
replaced with a dull, burning ache.
“You doing okay?” Lily asked.
“Yeah,” Nick exhaled, swiping the back of his hand across his
eyes.
“Good. Your hip might be a
little sore for a few days, but other than that, you shouldn’t have any
problems. If you’re ready, we’ll get you
back into your wheelchair, and you can take off.”
Nick nodded, wincing as he rolled over and got off the table. Lily and the technician helped him hobble to
his wheelchair and then rolled him out into the hall, his hip throbbing with
every bump, every jostle.
At least it’s over, he thought as he was taken back to his room. He normally wasn’t much of an optimist, but
sometimes you just have to try to look at the bright side of things, despite
how hard it is. And he knew this was
definitely going to be hard.
After all, what could possibly be good about having cancer?
***
Dr. Kingsbury came to Nick’s room to talk to him that night with
the results of that day’s tests in her hands.
“Good news, Nick,” she said with a smile, and he gave her a
skeptical look. After all the bad news
he had gotten, he hadn’t really been expecting to hear anything good.
“What?” he asked.
“I have your test results, and everything looks good. The cancer hasn’t spread.”
“Well, that’s good,” said Nick, but he didn’t feel as relieved as
she probably expected him to. When it
all came down to it, the fact was that he still had cancer.
“Very good,” the doctor stressed.
“This makes your prognosis much better.
You can beat this, Nick.” Her
tone was encouraging, and Nick offered her a tiny smile he didn’t feel.
“So what next?” he asked, wondering how long he had until he had
to start chemotherapy, if that was the route they were still taking.
“Next we’ll begin your treatment,” answered Dr. Kingsbury,
confirming what Nick had thought.
“Will I have to stay in the hospital for all that?” he wondered
aloud, dreading the prospect of it.
“No. You’ll need to stay
for a few more days while we get you started on chemo so that you can adjust to
it. But after that, what we’ll probably
do is have you use a portable chemo pump so that you will be able to go home
and not come back as an outpatient for treatments. I know that would probably work out much
better with your schedule.”
“Yeah,” Nick said in relief.
“A portable pump though… uh… how exactly does that work? IV?”
He grimaced at the thought of having to be hooked up to an IV all day
while he tried to go about his normal activities.
“Actually, not quite. If
you decide to go with the portable device, what we’ll do is surgically implant
a catheter into your chest, just below your collarbone. The line will feed directly into the catheter
so that you won’t have to have an IV in your arm. It’s much easier that way.” She said this very casually, as if it were
all perfectly normal-sounding, but Nick’s mouth dropped open in revulsion.
“Wait, what? You
want to put something inside me? In my
chest?! No, no way!” he exploded, his
voice trembling.
“It’s a very simple surgical procedure, Nick,” Dr. Kingsbury said
patiently. “Not much worse than the
biopsy. And the catheter is very small –
the only part that can really be seen is the opening on the outside of the
skin, but if it bothers you, just wear a shirt – it’s not noticeable under your
clothes.”
“But… but… I’m going to have a freaking tube sticking out of me?!”
“Nick, many patients do it this way. It’s not really as strange as it may sound
once you get used to the idea. But if you
don’t want the catheter, you can always come in for outpatient chemo
treatments. You would have sessions
probably three times a week, for a few hours at a time.”
Nick gaped at her. Was she
insane? She wanted him to either have a
catheter implanted inside his body or come to the hospital three times a week
for treatments? Both alternatives
sucked, and he shook his head in frustration.
“No,” he said. “I can’t do that,
and I’m not having that catheter thing done either.”
“Those are your options, Nick.
You have to choose one. I would
strongly recommend the catheter. It
would be much-‘
“No! God, I’m sick of
this! What if I just got up and walked
out of here right now? That’s my right,
isn’t it?”
“Yes,” Dr. Kingsbury said, narrowing her eyes coolly at him. “But without treatment, your cancer will most
definitely spread, and you will die. No
question about it. Is that what you want
to happen?”
The words hit him like knives, and he slowly shook his head,
feeling the now familiar prickling sensation in his eyes. He blinked in annoyance, refusing to let
himself cry in front of her.
“Nick,” the doctor said, her voice gentler now. “I know this is hard. The treatment for this disease isn’t
easy. But it’s the only way to get rid
of it. You’re young, you have everything
going for you, your whole life ahead of you… you need to fight, Nick. And this is the way to do it. It’s not going to be fun, but it won’t last
forever, and it will be worth it in the long run.”
“Yeah. If it works,” Nick
said tonelessly.
“Nick, look at me,” Dr. Kingsbury said softly, and reluctantly,
Nick obeyed. It was a mistake. As soon as Nick looked up into her face,
which was warm and motherly, slightly lined with age, the tears he had fought
to keep back rose again. Giving him a
smile of sympathy and understanding, Dr. Kingsbury placed a comforting hand on
Nick’s shoulder. As soon as he felt the
touch, Nick’s tears spilled over.
***