Chapter 45
“Hi, Nick, how
are you doing today?” Dr. Kingsbury asked kindly, smiling at Nick as she
entered the small examining room where he sat, feeling awkward in a backless
hospital gown.
“Pretty good,” he
replied automatically, knowing he wouldn’t be able to use that same answer
within a matter of hours. So, what
are your plans for the afternoon, Nick?
Well, I’m gonna go home and barf my guts out all day, how about you? Fun, fun.
“… complaints?”
“Huh?” Head jerking up, Nick realized he had been
spacing out again and had no idea what the doctor had just said to him.
Dr. Kingsbury
smiled patiently. “How have you been
feeling lately? Any complaints?”
Nick
shrugged. “Nah, I’ve been okay, I
guess.”
“How’s your leg
been? Any pain?”
Nick
grimaced. “Yeah, it still kinda hurts
when I walk on it, and other times, it just throbs, even when I’m just sitting
there. The painkillers help kinda, but
not all the way.”
She nodded. “Well, we’ll do the usual x-ray on your leg,
and then I’d also like to get some other tests run today as well. A CT scan, bone marrow, and a chest x-ray.”
Bone marrow.
Those two words screamed through Nick’s brain, and he could have sworn
he heard a mental “dum dum dum”
of doom accompany them, but maybe that was all in his head. In fact, maybe the whole thing was just in
his head… maybe she hadn’t said those words at all… maybe…
“Nick? Did you hear me?”
“Uh…” Nick felt his cheeks turn crimson, “did you
say a bone marrow test?”
“Yes.”
NOOOOO!!! “Again?!
But… but I just had one!”
“Over two months
ago, you did. But I need to do another
one, just make sure we’re still in the clear.
To make sure the cancer isn’t spreading.”
“Spreading? But I thought that’s what the chemo was
for! To keep it from spreading!”
“Shh, calm
down.” Dr. Kingsbury rested a gentle
hand on his shoulder and continued, “That is what the chemo is for. I just want to make sure it’s doing its job,
that’s all. You’ll be having these tests
every few appointments until you go into a good remission. I know it’s not exactly fun, but it’s
important. Early detection is crucial,
as I’m sure you know.”
He had stopped
paying attention at the word “remission,” his mind beginning to wander
again. Remission. The word was an oasis, a slice of Heaven in
the midst of Hell, a destination that lay just behind the horizon in a place he
was sure he would never reach. It was
the lighthouse shining from the rocky coast, beckoning to him as he struggled
against the relentless waves to row to shore, throwing his whole weight into
each stroke of the oars only to be pitched right back again by the rapid
waters. It was the top of the endless
stairs in Super Mario 64, which you could only reach by getting the required
seventy stars; otherwise you would just keep going and going and going, like
the small, Italian version of the Energizer bunny, never quite able to reach
the gateway to the third and final Bowser level that lay at the staircase’s
pinnacle. (AN: Hey now, this is Nick thinking here – of course I had to
throw in a Nintendo metaphor. =P Then
again, I don’t think Nick would use the word ‘pinnacle’…)
“Nick?”
“Oh. Sorry. I’m listening.” Nick blinked, forcing himself to focus on
what Dr. Kingsbury was saying. God, he
had to have the world’s shortest attention span… maybe he had ADHD…
“Good. All right, so anyway, I’ll do a quick
physical exam, and then I’ll take you for your x-rays and CT scan. We’ll save the bone marrow aspiration for
last.”
“Oh yeah, gotta
save the best for last,” Nick muttered dryly.
Dr. Kingsbury
just gave him a sympathetic smile and slid her stethoscope into her ears. She slipped the other end down the front of
Nick’s gown; he winced as the cold metal touched his skin. “Now take a deep breath…”
***
The chest x-ray
and the scans of his leg were simple and painless, but, sitting nervously in
the exam room an hour later, Nick knew the upcoming bone marrow test would not
be. He was dreading it with every fiber
of his being, even more so than he had done the first time around. The first time, he had gone into it naïvely,
ignorant to the massive needle and crushing pain that went along with it. Now he knew.
And he was scared shitless.
He swung one of
his long legs back and forth, the other held stiffly in place by the brace, and
prayed for a fire drill or a bomb threat or anything to get him out of that
godforsaken place and save him from that hellish procedure.
No such luck, he realized unhappily as Dr. Kingsbury
came back into the room.
“All right,” Dr.
Kingsbury sighed. “Just this last test,
and then I’ll get your pump attached and turn you lose, okay?”
“Yay,” Nick
replied without emotion.
She just patted
his shoulder and helped him lie down on his stomach on the padded examining
table. His heart pounded, slamming
crazily against his ribcage as panic crept up on him. All of a sudden, a high-pitched beeping
sounded.
“Oh, my pager,”
said Dr. Kingsbury, and Nick looked over his shoulder to see her remove the
beeper from her pocket and look at it.
“Oh no, it’s the ER…” She
sighed. “Oh, Nick, I’m going to have to
run down there and see what they need.
Do you mind waiting a little while, or do you want me to just get a
nurse to do the bone marrow?”
He quickly
considered these options and quickly made his choice. “I’ll wait for you,” he replied. This was good because A) Dr. Kingsbury was a
doctor, not a nurse, so maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad when she did it, and B)
this would give him longer to stall, maybe even escape.
“Are you
sure? It could be awhile…”
“It’s cool. Don’t got any other plans for today,” Nick
said, flashing her the Carter half-smile, which she couldn’t help but return.
“Well, all
right. I’ll try not to keep you too
long. Be back as soon as I can. You just relax.” Then she darted out of the room.
***