Angry Night
“There
is absolutely no easy way to say this. I only wish there were,” the
doctor started.
Elyssa
was gripping Michaela’s arm so hard I was sure she was cutting off
circulation. The doctor continued.
“This
was also not an easy decision to make. It never is,” he paused again.
“Just
say it!” I thought to myself.
But
he decided to explain before getting to the point.
“I’m
afraid that Brian’s condition is not going to get any better. The
unfortunate reality of it is, is that he is never going to wake up. Just
this past week he has gone into cardiac arrest three times. In fact it’s
likely that he will pass on within the next couple weeks. Which is why I along
with Mr. and Mrs. Littrell have come to a decision.”
“What
is it?” I insisted.
Patience
was a virtue I’d never really acquired. The doctor took a deep breath.
“We
have decided to pull the plug on Brian.”
“WHAT!?”
Kevin bellowed loud enough for the entire floor to hear.
I
gasped, taken aback. He couldn’t possibly be serious. Why hadn’t he
just came right out and said they were going to kill Brian. That was in
effect what they were going to do.
“Oh
God, Lisa,” I thought and looked over at my dear friend.
She
looked as though someone had punched her in the stomach to the point where she
was actually holding onto it. The first of what was going to be many
tears rolled silently down her face and dropped to the linoleum floor.
For the first time since A.J.’s death I felt
something other than anger, something other than numb, something
other than pain. I felt sympathy. My heart went out to my best
friend. I would have gone to comfort her but Michaela was already holding
her.
“You're
letting them do this!?" Kevin said, the fury dripping from his voice.
“It’s
for the best,” Mr. Littrell said softly, his energy seemingly gone.
“Aunt
Jackie?” Kevin demanded.
“If
it’s God’s will.”
“God’s
will my ass!” he shouted enraged. “This fool right here is playing God
and you’re letting him.”
The
doctor ignored the comment.
“One
of his kidneys will be donated to someone who will die if they do not undergo a
transplant within the next two weeks. Which is why we will wait a week
before doing anything.”
“I
can’t believe this! I fucking can’t believe this!” Kevin exclaimed
throwing his arms in the air.
He
began pacing around cursing under his breath. Elyssa’s
moaning sobs seemed to echo through the almost empty room. And I just
stood there looking dumbfounded until Elyssa ran off down the hall.
Michaela started after her but I stopped her.
“Let
me go. I think that I can help her more right now.”
Michaela
nodded and I took off after Elyssa. She had raced down the hall and was
headed for the stairs.
“Elyssa
wait!” I called but even before the words came out of my mouth I knew she
wouldn’t stop and she didn’t.
Elyssa
whipped open the door and tore up the stairs. Images of her falling and
breaking her neck filled my mind. I sprinted as fast as I could but I
didn’t catch up to her until we reached the roof. It was six stories
up. I began to feel sick as I saw her make her way to the edge. I
knew what she was going to do.
“Elyssa
stop!! Don’t do this. It’s not worth it. Believe me I know.”
But
she ignored me and kept going. I tried to grab her before she reached the
edge but I couldn’t. But thankfully she didn’t jump. She stood
there her toes hanging over the side staring down at the field below.
“God
please don’t let her do this,” I whispered into the morning air, praying with
all my might that I’d be able to stop her.
I
stood beside her not getting too close.
“Elyssa
don’t jump. I’m begging you.”
“I
don’t want to live,” she said in an eerily tranquil voice. “No one
understands the hell I’m living in.”
“Yes
I do!” I insisted desperately. “I know exactly what you are going
through. This won’t make it better Elyssa. I know it hurts. I
know better than anyone does. But this won’t make things better.
Only worse. Think of the pain you’ll cause everyone. Do you want
them to go through more?”
God
if only I had thought of these things before I’d attempted it. But I knew
she wasn’t thinking straight. I knew I hadn’t been thinking
straight. She was barely thinking at all. Right now all her mind
could focus on was ending all the agony. And right now her mind told her
this was the easiest way to fix everything.
“I
don’t care,” she replied in that calm voice.
“Yes
you do! What if Brian wakes up to find you dead? How can you even
think about putting him through that? Causing the one you love so much
pain. Listen to me!” I cried frantically.
But
I could tell she had shut me out. She wasn’t even registering the words
that were coming out of my mouth. To her nothing existed but the
pain. She turned her head to me for an instant.
“Goodbye,
Anita,” she said.
I
screamed as she leaned over the edge her feet leaving the cement.
***
