Bittersweet Revenge

Part 3

“LIZZ! Wake up! Come on, you’re having a bad dream!”

In the few months I had known her, Lizz was a heavy sleeper, very hard to wake up. I pushed at her a few times and then her eyes suddenly flashed open, eyes scanning the room.

She sprung up, her body drenched in sweat. Her eyes nervously scanned the room. In an instant she realized where she was and acted as if she was trying to cover up anything that happened.

“You had a really bad dream,” I started out. “Want to talk about it?”

Lizz nervously raked a hand through her blond hair. She shook her head. “I don’t remember.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Yeah sure you don’t.”

“Honestly I don’t remember, can we just drop it?”

“Okay. So what’s the plan for tomorrow?” I asked, desperate to change the subject and the air in the room.

Sighing, Lizz stood up and walked towards the bathroom. “I think that after the furniture is delivered, we should go back to the mall when it opens that way we would avoid all types of crowds and then we need to go grocery shopping, there’s a ton of stuff we still need to do.”

“Don’t forget I still have to squeeze in my speech therapy at the hospital,” I reminded her. God I hated going back to the hospital, but it was something that needed to be done until my voice got better. My voice was my life, like it or not so basically without it I would be screwed.

“Yeah that’s right,” Lizz replied, sticking her head out into the hall, toothpaste foaming around her mouth.

“Ohmygod! Mad dog!” I teased.

“Ha ha ha, you are really funny. You should look for work as a comedian,” Lizz shot back sarcastically.

“Well, I dunno about you, but I’m gonna go back to sleep, I’m beat. Goodnight, Lizz.”

“Goodnight Jack,” Lizz replied.

‘Goodnight Jack.’ That struck me as being a little odd. Here we were, in an apartment all by ourselves and she insisted on calling me Jack. I shrugged it off. Maybe she was afraid if she didn’t practice, she would slip up and call me Nick again.

My arms were feeling a little “tingly” for some odd reason, but I brushed that off to being just tired. I drew the blankets up around my neck and burrowed my head into the pillow.

~*~*~*~

“Vinnie I had an encounter with a hottie by the newspaper machine,” Marcus announced as he lumbered into the tiny apartment, newspaper folded under his arm, six pack of beer in his hand.

“Those are a rare thing in these parts my friend,” Vinnie replied as he reached for his beer on the endtable.

Marcus chuckled when he recalled the meeting with the stranger. “I think she thought I was gonna rape her or something, not like that didn’t cross my mind, but that’s funny.”

Vinnie smiled, the gold cap on his front tooth gleaming.

“You are a piece of work there Marcus.”

Popping open a beer and sitting down with a large bag of potato chips, Marcus lowered his frame into the stained lazy boy chair.

Vinnie watched as Marcus shoved a handful of chips into his mouth, the majority of them spilling down the front of his shirt.

“I dunno how you can do that to yourself,” Vinnie said as he shook his head.

Marcus belched. “Do what?”

“Eat like such a pig. Aren’t you worried about getting really fat?”

“Nah, it don’t matter to me, besides, I’m on the lam and the FBI would be looking for a thinner Marcus so the more I gain the better off I am. Just a theory, but it works for me,” Marcus replied as he patted his rounded stomach. “Besides you’re such a skinny wimp you couldn’t eva defend yourself.”

“I happen to like being skinny thank you very much,” Vinnie defended.

~*~*~*~

Morning seemed to have come all too quickly, Brian thought as he pushed the covers off his body. He laid in the bed thinking about the events over the past few days. His eyes fell on the pager, laying on the nightstand. Brian eagerly scooped it up and scanned through the messages, hoping there would be a new one from Nick. To his disappointment, there were none.

‘morning buddy’ Brian keyed into the pager. ‘hope all is good.’ Thinking for a moment, he hit send and then got out of the bed and stumbled slowly to the bathroom.

Once in the bathroom, Brian stared at his reflection in the mirror. The past few months had taken it’s toll. His face was a ghostly pale and his eyes literally looked dull.

“God, I need to get out more,” Brian smirked as he turned on the faucet and splashed warm water on his face.

After taking care of his morning ritual of shaving, Brian heard the distinct ringing of his pager. He quickly grabbed a towel and rushed over and grabbed the device.

‘morning full day ahead shopping and therapy.’

Brian smiled at the reply. He noticed Nick placed shopping first and then therapy second. Maybe it meant after spending time in the mall with Lizz he would need therapy.

~*~*~*~

“Okay, do we want to try American Eagle again?” I asked with a grin. This was a lot better going to the store at this early hour of the morning. The only people around were the dedicated ‘blue hair mall walkers’ and the walker wannabes that sat on benches with cups of coffee waiting for their spouse to finish walking the halls of the mall.

“I’m game if you are,” Lizz replied, smiling.

I started to enter the store but was cut off by two older women buzzing in front of me, hands pumping furiously back and forth in their quest for fitness.

“Whoa, what’s the rush?” I yelled out at them. They evidently couldn’t hear me and never slowed their pace.

“Hey Jack, would it be okay if I go to that store across the way over there? I really didn’t see anything I liked in my new size here and I wanted to check and see what they had there. You’d be okay by yourself for a few minutes, right?”

I narrowed my eyes as I looked in the direction she was pointing. “Tent and Awning shop?”

“Ha ha, so funny,” Lizz replied as she smacked me on the arm. “I’ll either meet you back here or you come to me, okay?”

“Yep,” I replied as I turned and entered the store.

You know how you get that feeling that someone is watching you but you don’t see them? I was getting that as I was looking over the jeans that were hanging along the wall of the store.

“Are you finding everything?”

I spun around and saw a petite Oriental girl standing in front of me. Her name tag read Sammy.

“Yeah, I think I got this covered Sammy, thanks,” I replied with my still so raspy voice.

“You sort of look familiar to me in an odd sort of way,” she pressed.

My heart was literally pounding in my throat. “Oh? Never been here before,” I lied.

“No, I didn’t mean it that way, I meant that you looked familiar. Like you could be someone’s brother.”

I kept my gaze on the clothes racks, nervously fumbling through my size and the next five sizes after that.

She snapped her fingers. “That’s it! You look like you could be Nick Carter’s brother!”

Aaron? I smiled. “I don’t really think so.”

“I know, silly of me wasn’t it?”

I was starting to feel sort of funny. Like the walls were closing in on me, but not in a panic attack closing. Something was happening to me, something I hadn’t felt in months. I turned to face Sammy.

“Oh god, are you alright?”

It hit.

“Oh god,” I moaned softly before I dropped to the floor.

~*~*~*~

I nervously peeked under the dressing room door again to see if there were any feet close by me. This bodysuit went all the way down to my ankles and showed underneath the door. It was flesh colored and looked like a wetsuit. Only tighter. Now that I was sort of starting to get used to it I didn’t loathe it quite so bad, but I still looked forward to when I would be rid of it. I twisted all around trying to decide if I liked the jeans I was wearing. Even though I was supposed to not dress in the same sort of style, I couldn’t bring myself to wear anything but lowrisers. I was just pulling the deep turquoise shirt over my head when I was hit with a horrible feeling of uneasiness. I couldn’t contain the gasp that escaped my lips as I flung the door open.

Without so much as a word to any of the employees I raced out of the store towards American Eagle. Behind me I heard the cries of the workers, yelling at me to stop. One of them even shouted “shoplifter.” If I wasn’t so scared I would have laughed at how ridiculous it would be for me to try to run out the store wearing their clothes and leaving my purse behind. What kind of shoplifter would I be if I did that? As soon as I got into the entrance of American Eagle I saw a small crowd of people. Mostly workers and a few old ladies. I pushed through the mob, my heart skipping a beat when I saw Nick on the floor.

“Oh my god, Nick!” I cried without thinking. I dropped down next to him. He was laying completely still and his eyes were closed. “What happened?!” I tried to keep the panic from my voice.

An oriental employee that almost reminded me of Kyung was also kneeling next to Nick. She looked up at me, her eyes wide with fear and shock. “I - I don’t know. I was talking to him and out of nowhere he got this funny look on his face and then he started to have a seizure.”

I nodded, my heart sinking. “Come on Ni-Jack. Open your eyes for me hun okay?” I patted the side of his face gently and held his hand with my other one.

“Someone should call 911.” What looked like a manager kneeled down next to me. I vaguely recognized him since I was a pretty frequent shopper.

“No, he’ll be ok.” I said quickly. “He’s epileptic is all.” I added, lying.

Nick finally started to stir. His eyes fluttered a moment. He darted his eyes back and forth wildly, realizing what had happened. They finally settled on me and relaxed a tad bit.

“Li-“? He started, but I cut him off before he could say something that would give us away.

“It’s okay Jack. Don’t say anything. You’re fine hun, but you need to stay quiet ok?” I said soothingly. I hoped he was coherent enough to figure out my underlying message not to say my real name or anything. This was going to be difficult. After a seizure he was completely zapped of strength and would end up sleeping for the next several hours. He was barely going to be able to walk for the next several hours. I felt a bunch of stares on us not to mention a lot of whispering and my temper flared. I turned around and looked up at all the old ladies obviously interested in the commotion. It was probably more excitement than they had seen in awhile.

“Okay, show’s over. You can go back to your speedwalking now.” I said shortly. Normally I wouldn’t be so rude, but I knew Nick was uncomfortable with all these people staring at him and frankly, so was I. Plus they seemed more excited by it all than concerned.

Most of the women broke up and started to leave with a little coaxing from the manager.

“We have a back room we can go to if that would help.” The oriental girl offered. “By the way I’m Sammy.”

I nodded. “Thanks. That would be best.” I thought a moment, trying to decide what the best option would be. I had worked in this mall some time ago and in the back room there was a door that led to the trash pickup outside. I wondered if this store had such an exit and if I could bring the jeep up to it so Nick would only have to walk a very short distance. I asked Sammy about it and too my relief there was one. The manager came back after clearing out the onlookers and between him and I, we helped Nick up and took him to the back room. They had a cot back there and we helped Nick to lay down on it. I sat on the edge.

“Jack, I’m going to go bring the car around so we can get you outta here okay?” I said softly. His eyes kept falling shut, but when I said that they opened a little wider.

“No...” He whispered, looking uneasy.

“Do you feel like it’s going to happen again?” I questioned.

He shook he head ever so slightly.

“You want to stay here for awhile?” I tried again.

He shook his head again. I could see the exhaustion in his eyes.

“You don’t want me to leave?” I said even more quietly.

He nodded and closed his eyes again.

“Okay, I’ll figure out something.” I wanted to smack myself on the forehead. Duh. Go figure he wasn’t going to want to be alone in an unfamiliar backroom after having a seizure. I stood up and poked my head out the door. Sammy looked up from where she was hovering nearby and walked over.

“Can I ask you a really huge favor?” I asked her.

“Sure anything. Is he okay?” Sammy said, glancing behind me.

“Yeah, but after a seizure he’s going to be really weak. I know this is a major favor but is there anyway, if I gave you my keys, if you could bring our jeep around for us?” I prayed she wouldn’t ask why I couldn’t do it and that she would say yes.

“Of course.”

I smiled with relief and told her where we were parked. Since it was so early, there weren’t many cars out so it would be relatively easy to find the jeep. When I reached into my pocket I realized I was still wearing the clothes from Express and my purse was in there.

“Shit.” I muttered.

“Looking for this?” A saleswoman from Express suddenly appeared in front of me, holding my purse and my own clothes.

“Yes thank you. I’m sorry about...” I started as I reached for my clothes.

She gave me an icy stare. “You are lucky that it was an emergency or I would press charges.”

My jaw dropped to the floor. What was it with these insensitive clods that I always seemed to run into?! “Well gosh, you’re lucky I have bigger things on my mind or I would get your ass fired for talking to a customer like that!” I snapped back. I reached behind me and pulled the price tag off the back of the shirt and then did the same with the jeans. The total came to roughly $80 for both things and dug that much out in cash and shoved it into her hand. “Thank you.” I retorted as I turned on my heel and went back into the back room where Nick was.

“Damn Marylin, have a little heart will ya? Her friend had a freakin seizure right here in the middle of the store.” I heard the manager of American Eagle say to her.

A few minutes later we were helping Nick into the jeep. He was so out of it and so disoriented that the manager practically had to carry him. He shut the door and I rolled down Nick’s window.

“Thank you both for your help. I’m sorry about all this, but thank you for being so great about it.

“It’s not a problem. I hope your friend is feeling better.” The manger said with a smile.

I nodded and pulled away from the back entrance. When I glanced in my rearview mirror I saw them watching us and it made my stomach flip flop. It was probably just me being paranoid though.

Not even fifteen minutes later we pulled up in front of the apartment complex. I had ahold of Nick’s hand the entire time trying to keep him somewhat awake. If he fell asleep, it would be almost impossible to get him up again for the next several hours and I wanted to get him inside first. Luckily there was a parking spot right in front of our apartment so we didn’t have as much trouble as I was afraid we were. With him leaning heavily on me, we managed to get in and get him onto our new couch. It was closer than the bedroom and I knew he wasn’t going to be able to be on his feet much longer.

Almost immediately after laying down, he crashed. I managed to get him his seizure meds before he zonked out on me at least. I sat on the coffee table facing him, rolling the small bottle of pills back and forth in my hand. Something troubled me and I finally looked at the bottle. I read the info on the outside with his new alias and his doctor’s name. Underneath it stated the date that the prescription should be refilled. I frowned and opened the bottle. There were too many pills left in there! I narrowed my eyes when it sunk in that he had been skipping. I wanted to ask him so bad why, but there was nothing I could do until he woke up.

I paced around the room, restless. I finally decided to go get a newspaper and see if we got any mail yet. There shouldn’t have been any unless something was overnighted for some reason. With us, ya never knew.

I took a last glance at Nick and satisfied that there was no way he would wake up yet, I was sure it would be okay for me to run that quick errand. He had three hours before his speech therapy appointment and I hoped he would get enough rest to at least be able to function.

The mailbox was empty except for a piece of junk mail inviting us to get a credit card. Already! How do these people work so fast? I stuck my hand into my pocket and fished out a couple quarters and started to drop it into the machine.

“Hey there hot stuff!”

The voice startled me and I dropped the quarter. Then the familiar voice hit and I could feel the color drain from my cheeks. That’s it! I was never getting another newspaper here again! I had to fight the impulse to run, but that would look really suspicious. What if he recognized me? I stood there frozen, unsure of what to do.

“I figured you would come out here again to get another newspaper.” He laughed nervously. “Not like I was waiting for you or anything.”

I turned around slowly and waited. There was no hint of recognition in his expression. There was only a stupid grin. Then my stomach churned. That was a pretty friendly grin.

“So, what’s your name hot stuff?”

Play it cool, just be cool. “It’s ah, Katie. And you?”

“Marcus. So, you just moved in?” He continued to grin.

Now I smiled. He really didn’t recognize me, but I still felt a little uneasy. “Ohio. Have you lived here long?”

“Nope. I won’t be here long either. I was just visiting some friends, but well, one of them died and so...” He trailed off with the sorriest excuse for a sad look on his face.

I wanted to be sick. “Gosh, I’m sorry. What happened?”

“It’s ah...hard to talk about. I think I will be staying in town to keep an eye on a friend of his though. Make sure he is okay and all.” He let his voice almost sound choked, then managed to sound concerned.

My mind raced. Brian! He’s staying here to keep an eye on Brian?! The sick feeling increased and I wanted to rip him to shreds right on the spot. “Well it was nice to see you. I better go now.” I gave him the best smile I could manage and turned around without my newspaper.

“Wait!”

I turned around, my heart threatening to pound out of my chest. “Yeah?”

He grinned again. “Maybe we could go out sometime?”

I wanted to scream. “Ah, I don’t think so. Thank you though. I gotta go, bye.” I said hastily.

I had to force myself not to run back to the apartment. All I wanted was to get back to Nick.

~*~*~*~*~

“Vinnie! Wake up you lazy bastard!” Marcus smacked Vinnie’s leg as he lounged on the recliner, a string of drool hanging out of his mouth.

“What the hell man? Whadya want?” Vinnie slurred, still half asleep.

“Shit man, I saw her again. She was getting her mail.” Marcus grinned.

“Good for you.”

“You’ll say that when you see her. I asked her out.” Marcus flopped onto the cluttered and torn couch.

“And?”

“Well, she still seems a little shy or something, but believe me, I will have her.” Marcus kicked his feet up, smiling confidently.

~*~*~*~

Brian sat quietly in the small room waiting for his speech therapist to come in and start the session. This had been an ongoing process that he had started in the hospital and was slowly regaining his strength in his speech and motor skills.

“Hey Brian, you ready to have another go at it today?” Carol, his speech therapist questioned.

“Hi Carol, as ready as I can be, I guess,” Brian replied. “Do you know how much longer this is going to be going on with me?”

Carol laughed softly and then asked in a mock hurt tone of voice, “Are you getting tired of me already?”

Brian smiled a lop sided grin. “No, it’s not that I’m getting tired of you, I’m getting tired of all of this!” He watched as Carol shook her head and started writing down things in his chart.

“Okay, are you ready to start?”

“As ready as I can be, I guess,” Brian replied, the lack of enthusasiam evident in his voice.

~*~*~*~

As Sammy watched the jeep pull away, she couldn’t shake the feelings of deja vu about that guy that had the seizure in the store. She knew she had seen him some place before, but she just couldn’t place him at all and it was bothering her.

Going back into the store, she went to straighten the clothes that the man had taken down with him when he had his seizure. Her friend Chris approached her and knelt down to help her with the clothing.

“Chris, that was so weird this morning with the guy and the seizure. I could have sworn I’ve seen him before,” she stated as she grabbed a handful of jeans.

“Probably a regular customer.”

“No, and that’s the weird thing about it, he actually made it a point to deny that I had seen him before. I remember faces and this one I remember and it’s bugging me that I can’t place it!”

As Sammy started folding some sweaters, a thought came to her. “Hey, do you remember that big thing that was going on a few months ago with that one guy from a band and that one girl?”

“Got me,” Chris replied.

“No! Christina! Listen to me! It was that boy band group, god, and that one girl! Remember now? He just died like a week or two ago!”

“Yeah and so? You telling me he came back to life to the mall or something?”

“Don’t you get it? He died but I’m betting he didn’t die!” Sammy stated quickly. “Yeah, that’s it, they faked his death or something! There was a psycho guy that was after both of them and he hurt that Nick with some stuff in his water and it ruined his voice. Oh my god, that guy! His voice was really weird sounding! It was him! It had to be him!”

“I think you’ve completely lost it Sammy,” Chris replied as she walked away from her co-worker, nearly knocking over a customer in the process.

~*~*~*~

“Hey AJ!” Todd, AJ’s personal body guard rushed up. “Hey, AJ!”

“Yeah Todd, what now?” AJ sighed.

“You’d never believe the gossip I heard at the mall this morning,” Todd began his story, taking a seat across from AJ.

AJ sipped his coffee, barely looking up from the paper he was reading.

Not paying attention to AJ’s lack of focus on the conversation, Todd continued. “There were these two girls talking and they pretty much said that Nick was at the American Eagle and had a seizure in the store!”

AJ lowered the paper and stared at Todd, not saying a word.

“And get this, they said this guy’s voice was raspy sounding like it had been injured and shit and there was this girl that was with him. They said he had his death faked!”

“Todd, that is the sickest joke you could ever possibly play on me,” AJ replied, his voice choked with emotion. “Get out of here, NOW!”

~*~*~*~

I woke up suddenly, thinking I was laying on the floor at the mall. I remembered going down. As I gathered my bearings, I soon realized I was laying on the couch in the apartment that Lizz and I had rented.

Suddenly, I remembered that I had gotten one of those rotten seizures. “Oh shit,” I moaned.

“Nick?” Lizz questioned as she came into my view. “Are you okay? You’re not going to---”

“I’m fine,” I replied quickly.

“God, you scared the hell out of me at the mall,” Lizz reprimanded.

“Sorry.”

“Do you feel up to your therapy session today?”

Therapy. Great, like I wanted to go there today. I still felt pretty tired and weak. “Yeah I better go to it, I guess.”

Lizz being the sweetheart that she was, helped me out to the jeep and drove the short distance to the hospital. I wasn’t particularly looking forward to the session at all and the only thing that made me want to go was the possibility of seeing a glimpse of Brian or one of the guys. God, if I said that outloud, someone would have mistaken me for a love sick BSB fanatic or something.

After signing in, “Jack Carpenter” and his “driver friend Katie” sat out in the lobby, waiting for my name to be called. I was so not used to waiting in a lobby for anyone or anything. This was something I would have to learn to like while I was incognito.

“So, um, Jack, this seizure took you by suprise this morning, didn’t it? Gosh, it’s been months since you had one.”

I shifted nervously in my chair. I knew where this was heading and I wanted to avoid the confrontation at all costs.

“I guess.”

“Jack?” A nurse stated as she held a chart in her hands.

“Right here,” I sprung out of my seat quickly, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Jack, I’m going down to the cafeteria to grab some coffee while you have your session. Meet me down there when you’re done, okay?” Lizz directed.

I smiled back at her, trying my best to give her a heart melting grin.

“Yeah, right, I’m picking the conversation up when we meet again,” Lizz tossed back.

Crap, I would be in for it in less than two hours from now.

~*~*~*~

As the doors opened on the basement level, Lizz exited the elevator quickly. She was semi-clausterphobic and hated any place small - sort of like Brian, she smiled to herself. Putting her head down, she set off towards the cafeteria. She knew the hospital like the back of her hand and was able to navigate the halls easily.

Rounding the corner, she bumped into someone.

“Ohmygod, I’m so sorry,” Lizz excused herself quickly and then looked up into the face of the person she bumped into. Her heart leapt into her throat.

Marcus.

“Hey hotstuff, fancy meeting you here,” Marcus grinned.

“Oh, hi,” Lizz replied nervously. “I was getting some blood drawn, what brings you here?”

“Me? Oh, I’m making sure a sick friend is okay,” Marcus lied.

Lizz fidgeted nervously while Marcus leered at her. “Want to go get some coffee?” he asked with a tight smirk on his face.

“No, s-s-sorry, I really need to get moving,” Lizz stammered.

In a suprise move, Marcus reached out and grabbed Lizz’s arm. “Hold on hotstuff, what’s your hurry? I just want to have coffee with a pretty girl.”

Lizz jerked her arm away from his grasp. She knew she was risking pissing him off, but she wanted to break free of his hold.

“I said I need to go,” Lizz growled.

Everything happened suddenly, catching Lizz completely offguard. Marcus pushed her through a swinging door, that led to a dark, musty smelling room. He pinned her body to the wall and started rubbing his face against hers, the strong smell of sweat was almost overpowering. The stubble on his cheeks scratched her skin.

“Please!” Lizz cried out. “Oh god, no!”

A touch on her shoulder snapped Lizz out of her trance.

“Are you okay?”

Lizz turned and was face to face with Brian.

I jumped about a mile when I felt the gentle touch on my shoulder. When I turned around, my shock doubled. “Brian!” I gasped.

He blinked. “Are you okay? You were dreaming or something and you cried out.”

I nodded numbly. I didn’t miss the look that had passed through his face. A look that showed that I had caught him off guard. I had said his name as if I knew him, not as a fan and he immediately picked up on that. My mind immediately went back to that little nightmare and I shuddered. This was the second one already. Yeah, I was prone to nightmares, but sheesh. I looked around the cafeteria to reassure myself that Marcus was nowhere to be seen. He wasn’t.

“Are you sure?” Brian gazed at me with those blue eyes of his. For a moment, all I could do was stare right back into them. They were so full of loss and sadness that my heart ached. Like a window to his soul. And here he was, all concerned about me. Go figure, that was Brian for ya.

“A little better now, thanks. How are you doing?” I said softly.

Brian’s eyes widened a little bit. “You...you...” He stammered.

“Look like Claire Daines? Yeah I have been told that before.” I said quickly. Okay honestly I have been told that although I don’t see it. Although with this short blond cut, maybe I looked more like her now.

“I guess.” He said reluctantly.

“Are you in a hurry? You want to sit with me for awhile?” I asked, my voice hesitant.

He raised an eyebrow. “Sure, my friend isn’t due to pick me up for another few minutes and he will no doubt be late.” He pulled up a chair across from me and sat down slowly. He never took his eyes off me and I could tell he was studying me closely.

I wasn’t sure whether or not to tell him who I was. On one hand, was that playing with fire? On the other hand, I was a bit of a pyromaniac if you want to use the same metaphor. Besides, did he know already? He seemed suspicious, but I wasn’t sure.

“That must have been a rough nightmare, you were pretty upset.” Brian commented.

“Yeah, a repeating one to boot.” I agreed. I thought back to the few times I had fallen asleep in his room and woken up from a nightmare so maybe he was remembering that too.

“How are you really doing, Brian?” I asked gently.

Again, I got that perplexed look. Like he wanted to guess that it could be me, but didn’t want to risk it and wasn’t sure of himself enough to find a way to hint at it.

“Well, I am sure you know much of what has gone on seeing as how it’s been in the news and everything. I miss him more than words can say. We have been pretty much together for almost 10 years and now suddenly he isn’t. I feel lost.” He stopped, his voice choking. He bowed forward, trying to compose himself.

My heart ached for him so bad. I hated to see him hurt. “He misses you to hun.” I whispered.

Brian’s head shot up like a rubberband. “Lizz?” He whispered, almost afraid to believe it.

I nodded, my eyes filling with tears.

“Oh no, don’t cry. Hey, shhhhhh.” He soothed, putting his hand on mine.

“It’s okay, people might think I was just a hormonal fan or something.” I laughed a little through my tears. He did too which made me feel better.

He shook his head, looking me over again. I can’t believe how different you look.”

“Me neither.” I chuckled.

Brian looked around. “Is he here?”

“Yup, in his speech therapy. I think he was hoping to run into you and I am sure he will at some point, but you know how risky this is? We’ve got to not make a habit of this, but somehow we should find a way to sneak one of you to see the other one.” I said, keeping my voice low.

Brian’s eyes lit up and I couldn’t help but grin. “How is he coping with all this?”

My smile dropped. “Okay, except he had a seizure this morning. I found his pills and he has been skipping. I let him down and let you down. I should have been staying on top of his ass better than that.”

Brian shook his head. “Don’t blame yourself. Do know why he skipped?”

I shrugged holding back a sigh. “I didn’t get a chance to ask him. I brought it up in the waiting room, but he got called in before he could answer. Believe me, I intend on finding out why and I’ll get him back on track. Besides he knows I will skip mine if he does.”

“No Lizz. We don’t need both of you sick. Please take care of yourself and he needs to too.” Brian pleaded. He saw the effectiveness in Nick and I’s ongoing plan to skip whenever the other did, but he didn’t like it at all.

“I will and so will he. Crap, AJ’s coming. I guess this is it...” I said reluctantly.

Brian nodded. “You take care and stay strong. And for Nick too. Remember what I said, you guys can pull each other through anything, this included. You’re both in my prayers.” He whispered, squeezing my hand.

I desperately willed the tears that had formed in my eyes not to fall. “Thank you. And you are also. Believe me, we draw strength knowing you are here and being strong.”

“Hey bud, you ready to go?” AJ smacked his hand lightly on Brian’s shoulder. He tossed me a curious look. “Hey.”

“Hi.” I whispered back. He looked like shit. His eyes were red and he looked like he hadn’t been sleeping all that well. I felt a pang of guilt, but there was nothing I could do. The man couldn’t keep a secret worth anything and letting anyone else in on this was too big a risk. I hated it, but I wasn’t going to go up against Kevin on this one.

“What’s going on?” AJ looked skeptically from Brian to me, noticing the high levels of emotion.

“Oh, her brother is in the hospital and we were just talking for a few minutes.” He shifted his gaze to me. “What did you say his name was again?”

“Oh, uh, Jack.” I stammered.

Brian scrawled a short note on the napkin and shoved it at me. He stood up and I did with him. “Thank you. He’s a big fan and I am sure an autograph would really cheer him up.” I said, my voice threatening to get all shaky.

“Anything to help.” Brian nodded with a wink. On impulse I leaned over and gave him a hug. He seemed surprised at first, but returned the tight squeeze. It shouldn’t have looked weird cause fans always wanted a hug.

They both went on their way. A last reassuring smile from Brian and a tired one from AJ and they were gone. Okay, not gonna cry. I glanced at my watch and decided I could head back to where Nick was. When I got there he was already sitting in the waiting room. He still looked exhausted, but not as bad as before. I smiled, knowing how to cheer him up. The napkin was in my pocket and I hadn’t read it.

“Hey hun, how are ya?” I asked softly.

“Beat.”

“I have something that might make you feel a little better. If I let you have it, will you promise me something?” I said quietly. The waiting room was nearly empty. Just one elderly woman and her husband, but still.

“What?” He gave me an unsure look.

“That when we get home, we can talk about this med issue?” Geez, that sounded weird. When we get home...

“Like I was going to get out of that anyway. Go on, what’s going to cheer me up?” Nick urged.

I dug the napkin out of my pocket and handed it to him. The smile that appeared on his face melted my heart.

~*~*~*~*~

“Vinnie, up for some fun?” Marcus asked suddenly in the middle of the sitcom they were watching.

Vinnie cocked his head at his friend. “What kind of fun?”

“Well I was thinking about going to a certain hotel tonight and paying a visit to a certain Littrell. Just to stir some shit up. Give him a scare ya know?” Marcus cackled, his voice dripping with malice.

Vinnie grinned back. “That could be fun. Got any ideas yet?”

Marcus took another swig of beer. “Nope, I figured I’d let you come up with something good.”

“Marc, you are turning into one lazy bastard you know that?” Vinnie shook his head. “But since I am such a nice guy, I’ll do just that. That little punk’s gonna be pissin his pants after what I come up with.” He boasted.

“That’s my boy.” Marcus knocked fists with Vinnie as they plotted their plan.

~*~*~*~

“So?”

“So how did therapy go? What did the note say?” Lizz chirped as we walked out of the building.

“Therapy sucked and all Brian said in the note was that he was thinking about me and praying for us, that’s it. How did he seem to you?” I opened the passenger door to the jeep, I knew there wasn’t any way I wasn in the shape to drive yet.

“Brian looked lost Nick, absolutely lost. He misses you so much. I wish this whole Marcus thing was over,” her voice trailed off in thought. The last nightmare sprung into her head and chills quickly ran through her body.

I picked up on the chill thing instantly. “Something wrong?”

Lizz raked a hand through her hair and then quickly fired the engine up. “Nope, I’m fine but there is something I have to ask you.”

“I know what you’re gonna ask me, it’s about the meds, isn’t it?”

“Why Nick? Why did you skip some of the pills?”

“I was feeling better,” I replied, the guilt was pretty evident in my hoarse voice. “I know now that I can’t play with the doses, god it could have been worse.”

“Hell yeah it could have been worse. Let me tell you about someone I know that was on meds for seizures---”

“Spare me the details Lizz, I won’t skip anymore,” I interrupted.

“No, listen to me, I want you to hear about this. I knew someone that was on the same type of meds that you’re on for seizures. She was following them faithfully day after day and then suddenly she started to skip a dose here and one there, then one day she had a full blown seizure, it lasted close to five minutes. When the seizure ended, she wound up with brain damage. She can’t talk or walk anymore and she is in a nursing home because of it. Nick, she was only thirty-four when she had it. That could be you if you don’t watch it.”

The reality of the med situation hit me like a ton of bricks. That was all I needed. I didn’t want anything like that to happen to me.

“I’ll never skip again, I promise.”

~*~*~*~*~

“God, would you look at that Marc? All those girls standing by the doors waiting for one of them Backdoor wusses to come out,” Vinnie commented as they drove past the hotel where the guys were staying at.

Marcus laughed quietly as he eyed the roughly forty or so young girls standing outside the hotel doors. “Vincent my friend, this is going to be so damned easy! You are a genious!”

“I know,” Vinnie chuckled.

After parking the old dark blue 1983 Ford Econo van around the corner, Vinnie and Marcus walked towards the cluster of girls and went into the hotel.

“How much for a double room for the night?” Marcus asked the woman at the desk.

Looking the obviously unkempt man over, Phyllis shuddered slightly. The mixture of alcohol and heavily sprayed on deodorant made her gag slightly. She wanted him away from her counter and fast. “It’s $89.95 a night.”

“God, that’s pricey,” Marcus sighed. He pulled out his wallet and thumbed through his small collection of stolen credit cards. Tossing the Visa on the counter, it slid over the edge and onto desk in front of Phyllis. “We’ll take a room for the night.”

The woman looked at the card suspiciously. It looked like a newly issued Visa. The name that was printed on it definatly didn’t match up with this man. “Double occupancy,” she narrowed her eyes as she read the card and looked back at Marcus, “Mr. Rodriguiez?”

“Yeah.”

She scanned the card and to her surprise, it was accepted. Holding the forms out for him to sign she still felt uncomfortable with it. “I need you to sign your full name here,” she stated as she watched the heavyset man pick up the pen and scrawl the name ‘Enrico Rodriguiez’ across the dotted line. Once he filled the papers out, Phyllis reluctantly handed the room card to the man. “You’re in room 428, enjoy your stay.”

Marcus smiled sickly. What incredible luck he was having that night. He would be on the same floor as Brian and the rest of his group. This was going to be a fun night.

“Now what?” Vinnie asked his friend as they boarded the elevator.

“I need to find out how far away Littrell’s room is from ours and then we can go scope the front lobby and find a cutie to have some fun with. You got the stuff, right?”

Vinnie grinned as he patted his front shirt pocket. “Right here.”

~*~*~*~

Jennifer Thelen waited outside of the Radisson Hotel alone. Her friends had grown tired of hanging out waiting for the impossible dream of maybe seeing Brian Littrell or any of the other members. She clung to the hopes that she would either see Brian or someone that could lead her to Brian. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a tall, fat man with greasy hair trudge out of the building with a shorter, skinny man tagging along.

“I still can’t believe Littrell wants theatre popcorn at this hour of the night!” Marcus broadcasted as they filed past the group of girls.

Jenny held her breath, this was the break she had been waiting for! She boldly approached the man and his friend.

“Excuse me, I... I couldn’t help but overhear, but are you with the Backstreet Boys security or something?” Jennifer stammered.

Marcus stopped and turned to face the voice. He was pleased at what stood in front of him. “Well, aren’t you the pretty little thing. I’m Mr. Littrell’s personal manager Nick,” Marcus stated with a grin. He was pleased to have chosen the name out of thin air.

“Nick? Gosh that must be hard for him to say your name,” Jennifer replied.

Vinnie grinned at Marcus. “So you from around here?”

“Yes. I just want to see Brian. I felt so bad about what happened with Nick and I just hate the man that did that stuff to them. I would like to see him suffer,” she added quickly.

Marcus pushed the remark aside. “Would you like to see Brian?”

Jennifer’s eyes lit up. “Oh, god, do I ever!”

“Okay, I have to get that popcorn for him, but you can come with us to the store and then that way you can just blend in with us and we can take you to the fourth floor,” Marcus laid his plans out to her.

Jennifer eyed him wearily. “I dunno, I really shouldn’t.”

“Oh come on, I’m Brian’s personal gopher, I’m harmless! Ask Vinnie.”

Vinnie threw a dirty look at Marcus for using his real name. He quickly focused his attention back on the girl and flashed a grin exposing his gold capped front tooth. “Yeah, we’re completely harmless.”

She weighed the situation and then decided it would be okay. There were people around that saw them and she figured they would be returning to the hotel so nothing bad would happen. “Yeah, okay, sure let’s go.”

“Good deal, come on!” Vinnie replied, gesturing for her to follow him towards the panel van.

Once they got into the van, Marcus pulled out the bottles of Mountain Dew he had prepared before they had arrived. He handed a bottle back to Jennifer nonchalantly. “Here, you must be thirsty.”

With trust that could only be possessed by a young woman, Jennifer accepted the bottle of soda. “Thanks, I really am.”

Marcus and Vinnie exchanged glances and a smirk. They uncapped their sodas and thristily chugged them down, encouraging Jennifer to do the same.

She immediately followed suit, wiping some of the soda from her cheek that had trickled off to the side. The soda tasted odd to her, but she passed it off as nerves and drank almost half of it before she started feeling “rubbery.”

“Sweetheart, are you okay?” Marcus asked in mock concern.

Her eyes grew heavy with each blink and the words she wanted to say stuck in her throat. It was like she was slowly becoming paralyzed. She could hear them talking but it was in a slow motion type talk.

“Let’s take her in,” Marcus stated to Vinnie.

“Come on honey,” he grunted as they pulled her body out from the backseat of the van and each of them wrapped an arm around their shoulders. Jennifer wasn’t able to walk, her feet were dragging behind her as they paraded her past the small crowd of girls in front of the hotel. Once they got onto the elevator, Marcus shoved her body into the corner as Vinnie pulled out the note they had written ahead of time.

As the elevator jerked to a stop on the fourth floor, Marcus roughly grabbed the girl causing her head to flop forward and then backward. He was pleased to see that no one was in the hallway as he and Vinnie dragged the girl towards Brian’s door and propped her against the door, pinning the note to her sweater.

~*~*~*~

Brian lazily tossed a magazine across his bed. He had paged Nick ten minutes ago and he hadn’t responded yet. He looked at the computer that was set up in the corner of his room, a smile spread across his face. God, how Nick loved the internet. Acting on impulse, Brian picked up his pager.

“Buy a laptop,” he keyed and then hit send. He figured that would stimulate some type of response from Nick. Although he didn’t fully understand the mechanics of a computer, Brian was thinking that this would be good therapy for the both of them. He debated on grabbing some chips out of the vending machine on the floor. He needed to walk and use his fine motor skills so a short walk down the hall wouldn’t be that bad. Brian looked at the phone.

“Nope, I’m not calling Steve, I’m doing this myself,” Brian announced to an empty room. He grabbed the room card off the dresser and slid it into his front pocket.

As Brian opened his door, a girl’s body slid backwards onto the floor. Brian yelped and then dropped to his knees to help the girl. She was conscious, but barely. He gently laid her head to the floor and jumped up and dailed the hotel operator.

“I need an ambulance NOW!”

He threw the phone down onto the table and rushed back to the girl. It was then as he looked her over did he see the note pinned to her:

I’ve been dying to meet you. A mutual friend set us up.

Brian’s eyes narrowed. Marcus’ voice flashed back into his head. He was no longer in the hotel room but in Nick’s ICU room from several weeks back:

”Remember, Nick dies and everyone is okay, Carter lives and I start taking people, fans, family, friends. It don’t really matter who gets it.”

His eyes flashed in anger.

***

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