Chapter 38
“Mom!
We’re home!” The screen door slammed behind Nick and Ciara,
echoing through the vast openness of the foyer. This place was huge.
“We’re?”
Jane peeked out from the kitchen, towel in hand, obviously
busy working. “Ciara? Oh my God…it’s been forever!”
The two women hugged, offering “
“Hi
Mama…” Nick smiled at his mother who had virtually ignored him in her
excitement seeing Ciara.
“Come
here, you.” She hiked up on her tiptoes and properly welcomed her son. Ciara smiled watching them. Dysfunctional defined this
family, no doubt. The more the years went the more dysfunctional it seemed to
become, as Ciara had learned and would continue to.
Even so, it was nice seeing Nick and his mother getting along better now. The
tension of years past had been awful. Hopefully it had disappeared for good.
“Where
is everybody?”
“Oh,
they’re around. Can’t believe we’re all here at one time for once. Well, except
BJ. She’s never around it seems. Even when she’s here.”
“Yeah,
right. Well, we’re gonna go dump our stuff over at my place. I just wanted to
pop in.”
“You’ll
be here for dinner?”
“Of
course. Tell Aaron I’m here, huh?”
“Want
me to send him over?”
“That’d
be great. We’ll be back.”
Nick
and Ciara stopped by the truck to gather their
belongings, walking across the property to a smaller, but equally luxurious
looking home. She said nothing. So many things going through her mind. 20 hours
ago she was putting an IV in a screaming 5 yr. old and now she was surrounded
by a virtual paradise. Talk about culture shock.
“You
okay? You’re awful quiet.”
“Yeah…just
thinkin’. What’s up with BJ?”
“Oh,
well…she’s just…she…” Stopping at his door he looked at Ciara
not wanting to admit what a mess things had become with her. “She’s not good, Ci. Drugs. Stupidity. Rebellion. Talks to no one.”
“Oh
no…Nick.”
“Yeah…”
Shrugging, he unlocked the door, letting Ciara step
in first and softly closed the door behind them. “I’m glad you’re finally
here.” He dumped his bags on the floor, grabbing her hand on the way up,
kissing her fingers softly.
She
replaced her fingers with her lips, relaxing completely at his touch.
Reluctantly, she pulled away, wanting to take a good look at this place.
“Nick…this is…oh wow. This is beautiful.”
“Thanks.
I like it, although it’s never felt like home. Vacation maybe, but never home.”
“I
think I could call it home…you’ve put a lot into this.”
“Mom
helped again. Got it decorated during our first leg last year. Here…our
bedroom’s this way.”
They
made their way through a huge living area complete with pool table and big
screen TV. Very reminiscent of his
“Here
we go…” Nick motioned her into what looked like another hallway, but it opened
up into a massive master suite.
“Nick…this
is gorgeous! Why in the hell are you in
“I
dunno. Too close to Mom and Dad? And really, I was plannin’
on comin’ down right at tour’s end, but…”
“You
have this and you’re staying in
“Maybe
I am. But I can’t imagine living down here…without you.” He took the bag from
her hand and tossed it on a chair by what was most likely the master bath. She
could only imagine the tub and shower set up in there. But he gave her no
opportunity for further dreaming because he had swallowed her up in his arms
and covered her mouth with his, thrilled beyond belief that he finally had her
here.
Somewhere
in the back of his mind when he bought this property, he’d wanted her to see
it. Wanted to share it with her. Wanted to see her sitting out on the deck
drinking her juice first thing in the morning. But then, it was an unattainable
dream. And now…here she was. In his arms. In his room. In his heart. It was
still overwhelming.
Ciara was just thrilled to be in his arms
again. At the moment she didn’t care if it was in the middle of a trash dump.
Her week at work had been horrific, ending with a bang. Death sucked. Death of
children sucked worse. Death of a child she’d grown particularly close to just
downright made her ache. Having this much life surrounding her here in the
Keys, and more importantly, Nick’s life enveloping her, making her feel safe
and healthy and whole…who needed a tropical paradise?
They
were in their own world, enjoying the warmth of one another standing in the
middle of this vast room, hearing the sounds of the ocean from beyond the glass
doors, tasting salt air and their love when suddenly…
“AH-HA!!!!!!!
I knew it, I knew it, I KNEW it!!!!!!!!!! It’s about
damned time you two!” And then, as quickly as the audible assault began, Nick
was ripped from Ciara’s arms stumbling to the ground
as a large, blonde body jumped him from behind.
“Aaron,
you ass!” Nick was laughing and struggling and hurting. Falling hurt more the
taller you were. Damned kid…who was now straddling him, pinning the older
brother’s hands to the ground.
“You
suck. Can’t even fight me off anymore.”
“Say
‘hello’ to Ciara, Dweeb. And get OFF of me. You’re
heavy.” Nick attempted a kip-up with Aaron still firmly planted on his hips. It
didn’t work.
“Ha.
You’re gonna hurt yourself, old man.” Aaron gave Nick’s face a soft,
condescending pat and finally stood, and wiped the stunned look off of Ciara’s face with a simple smile. “How long have I told you
this would happen?”
“Who
the hell are you and what have you done with Nick’s brother?” Jesus Christ.
Almost a foot taller than her. Bulked. Deep voice. Mature face. Nick was still
“cute” at fourteen, still a little boy. But this one? What were they feeding
this thing?
“We
didn’t like him. Too girly. I’m the new replacement.”
Without
another word, Ciara wrapped her arms around the boy,
saddened that it had been so long since she’d really seen him. One quickie stop
on his Walmart tour last year and that was it. Jane’s
insistence on their moving to
But
now, it didn’t matter. They were here and so was she. And none of them could be
happier.
*****~~~~~*****~~~~~
“Ciara, do you need any special foods or will this be okay?”
“I’m
fine, Jane.” Ci caught Nick in a knowing glance
surprised at Jane’s sudden discomfort at her presence. She’d had many a meal at
the Carter’s before. Why was Jane so nervous this time?
“Okay.
You’re sure now? I just wasn’t expecting you and like to have stuff you can eat
available.”
“I’m
fine. I bet our grocery lists aren’t much different, really. Just no sweets…or
too many anyway.”
“You
can’t have any at all though can you?”
“Well,
not really, no. I can have a little now and again, but…I’m always ready for my
niece and nephew. Plus, I gotta keep Nicky satisfied here for when he visits.”
Jane
stopped scurrying about long enough to look at her older son with judgment
darting out of her eyes. He felt it, but chose to ignore it. “So, uh…are we almost
set? I’ll call Angel and Les in.”
Ciara saw it too and realization dawned on
her. Jane didn’t know Ciara and Nick were a couple
now. Obviously, the prospect didn’t thrill her either. Tough. She’d tried to
control Nick’s love life once. And once was more than enough. Ciara decided to go the route Howie had taught her when
swimming through touchy fans. Kill ‘em with kindness. “Yeah, Nick…go get the
girls. I’ll help your mom get everything out.”
Without
a word between the two women, the table was set, loaded with dishes full of two
kinds of meat, potatoes, vegetables, gravy and bread. Home cookin’. Comfort
food. How come Ciara had a feeling this meal was
going to be a few pillows short of comfortable?
“Hey…what
are you doin’, Ci? Guests don’t work here. Gimme
dat.” Aaron had walked in sensing the tension thick in the air. He took the
bread basket from her winking as he turned away and found the final empty spot
on the table.
“Eh,
let her work. She’s not a guest. She’s family.” Nick had quickly returned with
two of his sisters in tow and slid his arm around Ciara’s
waist, planting a kiss on her cheek.
“Thank
ya’, dear. We got it all, Jane?”
Silence.
As usual, Bob had been standing there like a bump on a log, watching the
dynamics of the room, saying nothing, helping little, contributing not. Next to
‘pussy whipped’ in the dictionary was Bob’s picture. Had to be.
Still
no answer. This was going to be interesting. But, without any thought or
planning, everyone slid into the seats they usually took when Ciara visited. It was as though 4 years had never
transpired. The only difference this time, was BJ’s absence. No one seemed
bothered by it, so Ciara didn’t ask. There was enough
unspoken communication going on without adding to the ‘conversation.’
“You
sounded good last week at the game, Nick. They actually showed it down here.”
“Oh,
good. Thanks. It was cold as hell.”
Clink.
Clank. Scrape. Chew. This was conducive to nothing but heartburn. What the hell
had happened to this home? Ciara caught Nick’s eye
across the table and asked all her questions in a glance. Nick could only gaze
downward and concentrate on his food. He had no idea really. But it hurt that
home no longer felt like home. He’d hoped that by bringing Ciara
down here the liveliness that used to fill it when she was around would return.
Sadly, it seemed irreparable. And why was his mom in such a snit?
“Aaron,
when do your shows start?” Ciara couldn’t stand this
silence anymore. It was downright painful.
“Friday
night. In Jax. You gonna be able to make it?” His
eyes begged.
“Oh,
buddy…no. I work. Do you have any other
“At
the end…um…end of March I think.
“Well,
I’ll see what I can do to make one of those, okay?”
“Bring
the oaf with you too, huh?”
“Do
I have to?” Nick tossed a lettuce leaf at her eliciting giggles from everyone
when it didn’t fly any further than the end of his plate. Well, everyone under
30 anyway. Getting Jane to smile was going to take some doing. Bob? Pppfffttt.
“Nick,
please. Act like an adult.” She speaks. How pleasant.
He
responded by sticking his tongue out to Ciara and
Aaron and thwapping Les and Angel, who were sitting
on either side of him, on the back of the head. “NICK!”
He
grinned and batted his eyes innocently shoving a forkful of potatoes and gravy
in his mouth. Act like an adult. What? Like his mom who was pouting because her
oldest had a girlfriend and didn’t ask for permission first? Sure. If that was
adulthood, he wanted no part of it.
Now
that Jane had found her voice, she couldn’t keep it shut. “So, Ciara…what does bring you down here? I figured you’d be off
and married again by now.”
The
friendly smile Ciara had plastered on her face when
the meal began slid off revealing a glare she only saved for the most impudent
of people…typically patients who had a thorn in their side. Sadly, she reminded
herself her patients were children. Not adults. Not mothers. Not people she
once looked up to.
“Nope.
Not married. I’m here with Nick, Jane.”
“With?
Nick, is there something you need to tell us?”
“I
have to make a formal announcement? Is that what’s upsetting you, Ma?”
“Who
said something was upsetting me? I just…I mean it seems like…” She finally
slammed her fork down on the plate, causing the Angel and Les to jump. Ciara was too hurt to react and Nick and Aaron too angry.
Glaring at her oldest son, she finally conceded, “…this isn’t the place to talk
about it, Nick. I’m just…I’m shocked is all.”
“Whatever.”
Clink.
Clank. Scrape. Chew.
Nick
stopped eating long enough to catch Ciara’s eyes and
apologize. She accepted with a smile and a kiss tenderly sent across the table.
It was hard enough for her to open up to a man like she had to Nick. The last
thing she needed was family disapproval. But somehow, because she had overcome
so much to let him love her, she didn’t care. They had enough obstacles to
conquer without Jane’s interfering hand in it. It was obvious Nick was going to
have no part of it. Ultimately, that’s all that mattered.
Finally,
the meal ended and Ciara took it upon herself to help
in the clean up, relieving Les and Angel who quickly disappeared into their
rooms. The women needed to talk. At one time she considered Jane to be a
friend, a confidant. Now, she felt like the enemy stealing the woman’s son away
from her heart. It made no sense. It hurt. And it had to be discussed.
“Ci, I’m goin’ out back with Aaron…you won’t be long?”
“No,
wanna just meet me at the house?”
He
saddled up behind her wrapping his arms around her waist and nuzzling in her
neck. To hell with the gasp of air that just left his mother’s mouth.
Whispering in her ear, he had to check. “You okay with this? I’m so sorry,
baby.”
She
turned around in his arms and again communicated without words. It was fine. It
was not his fault. Why he hadn’t told his mom about their relationship over
Christmas was beyond Ciara, but after the ordeal with
Mandy, she really wasn’t surprised. All love interests were probably kept a
secret after that fiasco. Patting his stomach she nodded and turned her gaze to
his house, now unseen from their position in the kitchen.
He
bent down and kissed her lips tenderly, unaware of his mother’s complete body
language of disapproval. Fuck her. He’d been waiting for Ciara
for years. Now he had her. Who needs a mother’s approval when that kind of
fortune falls in your lap? But, it was his mother after all, so to hopefully
make some sort of amends, he kissed his mother’s cheek as well. “Thanks for
dinner, Mama. It was great.”
She
turned from her scraping, setting down the plate and took his face in her
hands. No words would come, so she simply got up on her tiptoes and kissed his
forehead. He was a man now. But this relationship with Ciara
was wrong. In every way. She’d fix it. But she wanted him to understand that it
was because she loved him. Angry words would do no good now.
He
squeezed his mothers arm and made his way out, brushing a hand over Ciara’s back as he passed by her. Manipulation. He could
feel it in his bones. He was going to have nothing of it. Not this time. No
way. No how.
“So,
Ciara,” Jane made her name sound like the slimiest of
swear words, “how long has this little romance been going on?”
******~~~~~~******~~~~~~
“You
okay, man?” Aaron had silently watched Nick come back outside from his brief
conversation with his mom and Ciara. He’d quietly
closed the door, walked by him on the deck, slowly went down the steps and
walked to the surf looking out to the horizon as the sun set on the day. Nick
had a temper. A hot one. When he was so mad that he remained calm was the
worst. Scared Aaron to death. So, he had stayed on the deck and waited. Waited
until the firm stance finally settled. Relaxed. Then he felt safe to approach.
“No.”
He bent down to pick up a shell fragment and tossed it into the water. “Aaron…why
does she do this to us, huh? Why does she think she can just control every
little goddamned detail of our lives?”
“I
dunno. Seems the more time goes on, the worse it gets.”
“No
wonder BJ’s so fucked up. No wonder…well, you know the shit I’ve done. She’s
gonna have 5 kids in rehab one day.”
“I
sure as hell hope not. I’m not plannin’ on it.”
“No
one plans on it, Aaron. There just comes a point where you can’t deal with her
control anymore and you’ve got to control SOMEthing.
Les eats. BJ uses. I used. Hell…I…” he looked over at his younger brother.
Almost a man now himself. What would Aaron find to control? What had he already
found? Nick shuddered to think…didn’t really want to know. “Never mind. I’m
just sick of it. I mean, doesn’t she see what she’s doing to Les? Doesn’t she
see that she’s who BJ is running from? Doesn’t she see?”
“She’s
afraid to look, Nick. She’s just afraid now. I swear the woman runs on fear.”
“What
the HELL is she afraid of?” Nick bent again, picking up another shell and flung
it into to surf. He silently wished he could do that with this whole situation.
Just toss it out, let the power of the ocean be in control. He surely wasn’t.
He just wanted it gone.
“I
have no idea, man. No damned idea.”
“She’s
afraid her meal ticket is gonna turn on her, that’s what she’s afraid of.”
“Nick…do
you really think that’s all she sees us as? Come on. She loves us. She loves
you…”
“Yeah?
See how you feel when you cut her off, when she’s not getting her 15%. We’ll
talk then.”
Aaron
had no other words. He found his own shell to toss to the water. Their mom was
a control freak. It was no secret and there seemed to be no stopping it. But
yet, he never doubted her love. He’d just decided she had a funny way of
showing it sometimes. Maybe Nick was right. Maybe he wasn’t. He wasn’t about to
walk away from his mom now though. No matter how you sliced it, she was his mom
and he needed her. He loved her. He just wished she’d back off a bit. That’s
all. Just back off.
“I’m
gonna head over to the house. Come by tomorrow and we’ll head out on the boat.”
“I
got rehearsal…”
“Oh
yeah…when will you get home?”
“Mom
makes me stop for dinner.”
“Well,
there’s something anyway. Come over then. We’ll go out late…maybe stay
overnight, huh?”
“Yeah,
sounds great. You okay?”
“I’m
worried about what she’s saying to Ciara.”
“Ci’s tough. She can take it.”
“She
acts tough, Air…but inside?” Nick shook his head, knowing he needed to leave
the two women alone, but wanting desperately to storm in, sweep Ciara out of there and run to his house, never crossing his
mother’s door again.
“It’s
gonna work out. You and Cici have belonged together
since…well, since forever. To hell with mom. I’m just glad you finally woke up
and did something about it.”
“Me
too. I can’t imagine life without her.”
“Then
forget Mom. Just go be with Ci. Janie’ll
come around.”
Nick
punched Aaron’s arm, knocking him off balance and started across the beach to
his house. He shoved his hands deep in his pockets, keeping his eye on the
sand, watching as the front of his sandals disappeared with each forward step.
How long has Aaron seen? How long has AJ seen? Why couldn’t his mother see? He couldn’t
imagine life without Ciara. That wasn’t just a nice
sentiment. He meant it. But, was it really true? Was she really the one
specially chosen for him? Could it be this great? This easy? This wonder…..
“Ooof! What the?” Nick was again on the ground, this time on
his face with only a patch of blonde hair peeking into his peripheral vision.
“Aaron…you’ve got to stop doin’ this, man. You’re too big.”
“Nah,
you’re just weak. Don’t punch my arm, Dweeb.”
“Don’t
punch your…don’t punch your…” Nick shimmied around and got a hold of his
brother’s shoulders and slammed him into the sand on his back, straddling his hips
as Aaron had done not too many hours before. It was really hard to pretend to
be angry when both parties couldn’t stop giggling. Nick conceded to the moment
and let go, sitting back on his brother’s legs. “Thanks for listening.”
“Anytime.
Now get OFF me…..YOU’RE the heavy one!” Aaron pushed Nick off his hips, but was
quickly grabbed by much larger, stronger hands and pulled down again. Laughter,
tickling, friendly punches, twisted arms, sand in the hair…in
everywhere…brothers. This is why Nick came home. This is why he couldn’t stay
away for long. This is why he wanted to share it with Ciara.
When nothing else made sense, this did.
***
