Doubt
Part 3
"Hey,
I think the humidity made the card wider," I stated to no one in
particular as I struggled to get the card to not only match up into the slot
but also have the green light activated so the door could be opened.
"Humidity from your ass," Howie surmised, laughing.
After a few more tries, I was rewarded with a green light. Quickly, I pulled
the handle and opened the hotel room door. "Bingo! Come on, Lizza," I
half whispered/half shouted over my shoulder. The motion of the door swinging
open, coupled with my inability to stand up steady, caused me to fall down onto
the carpeted floor.
Instead of seeing Lizz standing over me, I was looking into Brian's face, his
hand extended out towards me to help me back onto my feet. "Come on,
buddy, up you go," he groaned as he tried to pull me up. "Nick, I
think it would be a good idea for me to bunk with you tonight and Lizz can stay
with Leighanne."
I declined the offer. "Nah, we're fine."
Brian's eyes locked onto mine. "It, um, well, it really wasn't an offer
there Nick, it was more of an order."
"Huh? Why?"
"It's just not right--"
"Oh puhleeze," I interrupted. "YOU THINK YOU TWO WERE SUCH
SAINTS BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED?!"
Okay, judging by the color on Brian's cheeks and Lee's for that matter, I was
talking a little too loud. I guess I didn't care though too much, afterall, he
was accusing me and Lizz of screwing the night away.
"Hey we're big kids here Brian," I snapped. Although my words were
slurred, the point I was trying to convey seemed to have come across.
"Lizz, let's get some of your things so Nick can get some sleep,"
Leighanne suggested.
I could see the look on Lizz's face. It was almost a mixture of total
embarrassment and yet total shock.
"I... I think that Nick and I would behave ourselves," she stated
soberly. In a split second her seriousness dissolved into a fit of giggles.
"Oh good help Lizzard," I remarked before I started to laugh. Pretty
soon we were joined in by Howie.
An exasperated Kevin sighed loudly. "Alright Howie, time to take you to
your room to sleep it off."
"I can take him," AJ offered with a smirk. "I know the ropes to
this little trip. Yo, Howard, dude, this way and try not to yak on the
floor."
Howie winked at Lizz and I and made a half assed attempt at waving goodbye
before AJ jerked him around and practically dragged him down the hallway. Howie
burst into a melody of Dean Martin songs and both Lizz and I started laughing
again, especially when I tried to join in along with him.
I didn't notice it until Lee walked out of our hotel room, Lizz's suitcase held
firmly in her grasp. "Come on Lizz, time to get ready for bed." She
kissed Brian and then whispered 'I love you sweetie' in his ear. "Call if
you need me for anything."
Lizz looked back at me as she was being led four doors down the hall. I seized
that opportunity and did a sign gesture, holding a prend phone up to my face
and mouthing the words 'call me'. Lizz nodded to indicate she understood and
started to laugh again, falling against the wall.
"Oopsie, careful honey," Lee quietly urged as she steadied Lizz onto
her feet again.
"You know I'm pissed at you," I spat once the door closed to my room.
"Well, I'm not here to be liked Nick," Brian stated as he started
turning down the bed.
I stood there, or rather swayed back and forth as I watched him.
"I think a cold shower would help you sober up a little."
"Ass."
Brian sighed. "Maybe not then."
When there was a firm knock on the door, Brian stopped in his quest to get me
to go to sleep.
"It's Steve, Sparrow wanted you to have this," came the voice on the
other side of the door.
I cocked my head to one side and started laughing again. Detail used code names
for us, but for all practical purposes, no fans were in the hotel as of yet so
there wasn't a need for code names yet and besides that, Sparrow was a dorky
name for Lee.
"Aww, little horsie pj's Brian?" I observed as he walked past me,
pajamas folded neatly under his left arm.
"Nick why don't you go and put your Barney boxers on and hop into
bed?"
"Ouch, that hurt Bri... man, I'm really offended," I lied, sarcasim
dripping in my slurred words.
Brian's only reply was the closing of the bathroom door.
Technically, I was alone. I could leave and be gone before he came out of the
bathroom after brushing and flossing his teeth 86 million times - his usual
godforsaken ritual of hygiene that drove me up the wall. He was so damn anal
about washing his face, brushing his teeth, cleaning his nails. How Leighanne
could put up with that was beyond me. Hell, maybe that was why she was so damn
anxious to unload Brian on me and have Lizz stay with her.
That's when I finally realized what was going on.
I got screwed.
My attempts at trying to get to the door failed within three steps. I lost my
balance and fell over onto the dresser that held a lamp. Needless to say, the
lamp went crashing to the ground before I could stop it, causing Brian to come
rushing out of the bathroom. He stared at my pitiful body, laying on the floor,
lamp beside me, still glowing. Brian was the master of getting his point across
without words. The raised eyebrow and the look in his eyes told me I was going
to be in deep shit if I had made it out the door.
"I was gonna go say goodnight to Lizzard properly," I lied.
"I bet you were," he replied, his tone icy.
"Okay, I'll just get up...well, um, I'll just crawl back over to my bed
and climb in," I announced as i switched over to my hands and knees after
failing to stand upright on my own. As I crawled over to the bed, I could feel
Brian's stare on my back the whole time. Once I managed to get into the bed, I
pulled the covers up by my neck.
"Goodnight?" That came out more as a question rather than a
statement.
"Goodnight Nick," Brian replied with a sweet voice. Little did I know
he was mumbling under his breath that he was hoping I would have one of the
worst hangovers in my life.
~*~*~*~*~
“Nick, time to get up, PR in an hour,” Brian sing-songed as he pulled the curtians
open onthe window that faced the balcony.
I managed to open an eye, the glare of the sunlight invaded my brain, the
reality of thenight before slowly seeped in. I gingerly rolled over, turning my
back from the glaringsunlight, hoping all this would go away and leave me alone
and let me get the sleep my bodywas craving.
“Nick? Didn’t you hear me? You need to get up and get ready!” Brian urged.
As I tried to roll my eyes at the sound of Brian’s voice, I stopped in
mid-roll, god that hurt too damn much to do. “Go without me,” I mumbled.
Suddenly, I felt the covers being dragged from my body. I reached out and
grabbed a blanket and a struggle ensued.
“Get out of bed....NOW!” Brian said firmly through gritted teeth.
“No,” I replied in a determined whisper.
Grabbing the edge of the blanket, Brian managed to give it a firm tug, pulling
it completely off my body. “Don’t make me call for reinforcements, Nick, you
have a job to do, now get your ass out of bed.”
Upon hearing Brian use the “a” word, I moaned. He meant business and ass was a
pretty strong word for Brian to use. “I don’t feel good.”
“Too bad. You did this to yourself, you deal with it now. I can only guess that
Lizz is feeling about as bad as you.”
I blindly stumbled from the bed towards the bathroom. A hot shower may be what
I needed, I decided.
~*~*~*~*~
“Lizz, honey, did you want to get up and watch the guys work this morning?”
Leighanne asked in a soft voice.
Lizz’s only reply was a quiet moan.
Leighanne bit her lip to keep herself from laughing.
“Oh my god, what did I do last night?” Lizz asked as she slowly rolled onto her
back.
“Do you really want to know?”
Lizz shook her head and then moaned as she placed the palm of her hand on her
forehead. “I think I know,” she whispered.
“You go ahead and take a hot shower and I’ll start up some coffee,” Leighanne
suggested.
Lizz didn’t reply, she slowly rolled out of bed and plodded towards the
bathroom in hopes of finding some type of renewal.
~*~*~*~*~*~
“Nicky my boy, ya look like complete shit,” AJ cackled as he clamped a hand on
my shoulder.
Expertly, I dipped the shoulder, getting the offending hand off. I put the best
smile on my face that I could manage and gazed over towards Howie, his face
looking ashen, eyes bloodshot.
As I opened my mouth to point out Howie’s looks compared to mine, a firm knock
on the door interrupted me from my thoughts.
“Time to go guys, Sparrow and Condor will be waiting at the conference,” one of
the guys from detail stated in a business-like manner.
“Whoa, hold on, what name did you say?” I interrupted.
“Sparrow?”
I shook my head as I folded my arms across my chest. This wasn’t good. “The
other name,” I replied, my jaw set.
“Oh, Condor?”
“Yeah, why in the hell did you use that name for?” I growled.
Brian shook his head. “Nick, calm down, it’s just a name.”
“It’s fuckin Manda’s old name! I don’t want Lizz associated with her!”
“Nick, chill, god, I thought you said there’s nothing between you two,” AJ
intervened.
“There’s not, but I just don’t want you guys calling Lizz that name, okay? Pick
something else!”
Everyone in the room exchanged uneasy glances at one another. “Defensive much?
It’s just a freakin name, Nick,” AJ muttered.
“Just change the name! Now!”
“Robin.”
“That’s better,” I calmly agreed.
“Good god man, let’s go,” AJ huffed. “I’m sure ROBIN will be worried
sick about your ass.”
“You realize that Robin is a sacred name,” Brian observed solemingly.
I gave him a glance as we stepped onto the elevator, detail surrounding us.
“That’s Batman’s sidekick,” AJ pointed out. “So, technically, your code name
should be changed to Batman.”
“Oh for the love of god,” Kevin moaned.
“I keep telling you guys there’s nothing between us, why aren’t you listening?
We’re just good friends!” I defended.
“So were my parents,” Howie remarked quietly.
Before I had a chance to reply in defense, the elevator reached it’s
destination and the doors opened up to a group of girls clustered by the door.
Normally we didn’t travel in packs, each of us went in either in twos or
separate, but this morning I caused the entire system to be thrown into chaos
so we had to go to the conference together and togetherness was a security
nightmare.
For a small group of girls, the screaming wasn’t anything I was ready to deal
with this morning with my hangover. I slipped on my pair of sunglasses, ready
to almost face the bright
”OMYGOD! OMYGOD!”
Detail pushed us through the lobby and we thankfully made it to the hotel
shuttle van and the driver wasted no time in putting the van in motion to the
conference center. All but two from security followed in another van. The two
body guards took their seats, one in the passenger and the other in the back of
the van.
“Ya know....”
“Don’t talk to me, don’t start up,” I snapped as I cut AJ off.
“Gum anyone?” Brian asked as he held a package of Wrigley’s Spearmint. I could
detect the uneasiness in his voice, he was always the one to try and make peace
in our little circle, he hated arguments and confrontations.
“Thank god we’re here,” AJ grumbled as the van pulled up the the television
station.
I slowly eased my body from the seat. I was anxious to see how Lizz was holding
up. If she felt the way I did, she would be praying for a sudden and painfree
death.
~*~*~*~
I sat in a horribly
uncomfortable chair next to Leighanne and watched all the hustle-bustle around
us. Men and women in sharp business suits were scurrying around, talking on
cell phones and carrying thick stacks of papers. Just watching them wore me out
even more and made me head pound all the harder.
"Lizz, are you doing
alright?" Lee asked softly, smiling.
I groaned. "I wonder
if Nick feels this crappy."
She chuckled. "I'm
sure he does. Maybe if you guys hadn't tried to out-drink each other..."
I grinned, remembering
our boasts to each other the night before. Nick seemed to think it was
hilarious that I would even think that I could come close to winning since I
was just a "tiny little thing." I gleefully pointed out that being
half-German and half-Irish gave me a higher tolerance for alcohol than I
probably should have. So started the war.
I think we both lost.
"Morning
Ladies." AJ appeared in front of us. I hadn't even noticed him come up.
"What are you
grinning at?" I stared up at him, indignant.
"Nothing, nothing at
all." His smirk grew wider.
I shook my head,
immediately regretting the action. The rest of the guys filed in and I observed
that Howie looked pretty haggard. Nick was the last to straggle in, looking
rather spaced out. He offered me a sorry attempt at a smile and sank into the
chair next to me.
"How are ya
feeling?" He asked, softly.
"Mmm...shitty,
you?" I replied, smiling faintly. "I want to crawl into a hole...a
dark hole, and die." He mumbled.
"Yeah, and you have
to go on TV feeling like that, too." I shook my head sympathetically. Dang
it! Why did I keep doing that? You'd think I would have learned the first time,
but nooooo. It would appear that I wanted to keep this headache.
"Hi Lizz, how are
you feeling this morning?" Brian asked, after affectionately greeting Lee.
I groaned. "You have
to ask?"
He frowned. "I knew
you were a feisty one, but I don't think I expected last night."
"Lay off her."
Nick growled.
I put a hand on Nick's
knee. "Aw, don't be mad at me Bri. It's just that last night was the first
time in sooooo long that we all could go out and have fun. Things actually
seemed normal for once. Well, sorta..." I gave him the 'sad puppy-eyes'. I
hated the idea that he was upset with me. "Besides, I wasn't that bad. I
do remember everything that happened last night." I snickered. Nick never
remembered anything after a night of partying. Way back when we used to chat
online, we would have whole conversations when he was a little less than sober
and he never remembered any of it when we talked the next morning.
"You sure you
remember everything, Lizzard?" AJ asked, folding his arms over his
chest.
A feeling of uneasiness
washed over me. "What do you mean?"
Nick's head shot up also
and I swear I felt him stiffen next to me.
AJ glanced at Howie and
Kevin before continuing. "So, I guess the secret's out between you and
Nick, huh?"
My heart stopped, it
really did. Did I really say something last night about how I felt? Could I
really have spilled my feelings in front of everyone? I suddenly felt very hot
and I knew I was blushing furiously.
"Come on, AJ, knock
it off. Leave them alone." Kevin chastised, biting back a smile.
"Dammit old man! You
aren't any fun at all, you know that?" AJ huffed.
"Good morning,
gentlemen. Are we ready to get started?" A smartly dressed woman
pleasantly asked, coming out of nowhere.
Nick didn't even look at
me as they all followed the woman to go get prepared for the interview. That suited
me just fine. I was too embarrased. As soon as they left, a man came and asked
Lee and I if we wanted to watch the guys from "behind the scenes." As
we followed the guy to wherever he was taking us, I tried to work up the
courage to as Leighanne what had really happened last night.
"Uh, Lee?" I
ventured, hesitantly.
"Hmm?" She
looked at me as we turned down another hallway.
"Did I, uh...um, say
anything,last night, I mean. About Nick? Or um, how I, uh..." I stammered,
hopelessly.
Leighanne chuckled.
"No, honey. AJ was just teasing you guys."
"Thank God." I
murmered under my breath, visibly relieved.
Lee smiled at me.
"Would you like to talk about anything, Lizz?"
I opened my mouth to
spill my guts, before I even realized it. She just had such a warm aura around
her that made it easy to want to open up to her. Too easy. Catching myself, I
clamped my mouth shut. No way in hell was I telling anyone how I felt.
"Thanks, Lee, but everything's cool." I said lamely. Immediately I
wanted to smack myself. How obvious was I? Idiot.
"Okay, but if you
ever want to talk, I'm here." She smiled again.
"Thanks." I
returned the smile, wanting more than anything to tell her EVERYTHING. Ugh.
The interview started a
few minutes later. As many times as I have seen them on TV, this was totally
different. It was so much more. I watched them, grinning ear-to-ear. Nick did a
masterful job of being his usual self. Only because I knew him so well did I
know that he felt like crap. Otherwise I never would have guessed. I thought
about all the fans out there. If they only knew. I had to bite back a snicker,
seeing as the sound crew told us that we had to stay completely silent.
The morning show host,
whatever his name was, asked the usual interview questions. Most of them were
from fans that had written sent their questions in. I waited nervously for that
expected and dreaded question. Sure enough...
"So, Nick? A number
of the fans wrote in to ask about Lizz. It seems that everyone wants to know if
you two have become an item."
I held my breath and
didn't move a muscle.
"We're uh, just
close friends." Nick replied, after a moment's hesitation.
They moved on and I let
out a sigh. I don't know if it was a sigh of relief or of disappointment. I
rubbed my eyes with two weary fingers. I jumped when Lee reached down and
squeezed my free hand with one of hers. She knew. Her eyes told it all, she
knew.
"Well folks, that
concludes our intwerview this morning. We'd like to thank the Backstreet Boys
for coming to visit with us this morning and answering our questions. Stay
tuned for a listing of their
The guys waved and smiled
until the cameras stopped rolling. They filed off the set and over to where Lee
and I were watching.
"Did I look as bad
as I felt?" Nick sat back down next to me again.
"No, no, you looked
great." I assured him. Instantly I froze. Did that sound obvious? NO! I
was not going to let things get all weird between us.
"Lizz,are you are
okay?" Nick stared at me.
"Huh? Yeah, I was
just thinking. So what's nexy? Please tell me it's breakfast." I asked
hopefully.
Nick laughed. "We'll
see what we can do."
"Mr. Littrell? I've
got a package for you. It was dropped off here at the station, but I didn't get
a chance to give it to you before you aired." A young woman rushed up. She
looked like she was probably a secretary. She thrusted the package into Brian's
arms. He accepted it, mildly surprised.
I turned to Nick.
"Is this a normal thing? How did anyone know how to get this in here to
him?"
Nick frowned. "I
don't know. No, this isn't how things are usually done. When fans send gifts,
they don't go straight to us."
A small knot formed in
the pit of my stomach as we all watched Brian tear the brown paper packaging
off his gift. His look of confusion changed into an expression of shock and
horror. His hands shook a little and he sank into the chair that was behind
him.
"Honey?"
Leighanne asked, alarmed.
"What is it?"
Kevin reached for the object in Brian's hands.
All the color had drained
from Brian's face. He pulled the rest of the paper off to reveal a magnetic
letter board. Just like the one he had to use until he was able to regain his
speech back.
"What is this? Why
would...who..." He whispered, looking around at us.
I gaped at the letter
board and the knot in my stomach grew bigger.
"Where did that come
from?!" Kevin demanded.
The young woman looked
shocked. "I, uhh...I don't know. It was left on my desk, but I never
noticed anything out of the ordinary."
"How could you not
have seen anyone?!" AJ glared at the girl.
"AJ." Howie
said quietly, putting a hand on AJ's arm.
"I-I don't know.
Maybe someone else saw someone. Should I ask around?" She suggested
timidly.
Kevin nodded.
"Please."
As soon as she left, Lee
looked up from her seat next to Brian. She had a comforting arm around his
shoulders. "Would someone please tell me what is going on?!" Her
voice quivered.
"Brian used a letter
board like that while he was recovering from whatever Agnes poisoned his system
with." Howie told her softly.
"Do you think it's
them?" AJ ventured, his voice barely audible.
"NO!" I
exclaimed. Nick put an arm around me. "Lizza..."
I pulled away. "No!
It can't be them. It can't be..." I trailed off, putting my head in my
hands. There was no use arguing the point. It was clear that it was them.
Somehow they had found out that we were here and had gotten in.
"Why would they do
this?" Asking what Brian had tried to ask before, but could barely get
out.
"To scare us."
AJ said bitterly.
"What if it's more
than that?" Leighanne suggested in a hushed voice.
We all looked at her.
"Lee's right. What if it was a threat?" Howie agreed.
"The hell it
is!" Nick exploded. "They get near him again and..."
"Um, excuse
me." The secretary interrupted. She had several people with her, one of
them probably her manager and two security guards. "I asked everyone on
this floor and no one noticed anything."
I barely paid attention
as the man introduced himself as some manager and explained that nothing out of
the ordinary was called to his attention. Calls were made and it seemed like
everyone was grilled, but nothing turned up. The guys' managers decided that
security would be tightened, but didn't see the "gift" as a real threat.
We were too well protected, they said.
My confidence was still
shaken. I could tell Nick's was too because he stayed right by my side and
Brian's as well. We ended up being stuck at that TV station for another two
hours while details were ironed out and precautionary measures were taken. We
were all reassured that we had nothing to worry about, but the damage had been
done.
I could hardly look at
Brian. The look on his face just broke my heart. Seeing that magnetic board and
being forced to so vividly remember going through all that...I don't think any
of us had any idea how hard that had to have been for him. Being stuck,
helpless, in a body that wouldn't work and not knowing if he was ever going to
recover. Not knowing if he was ever going to be able to sing again. Not being
able to have his wife there with him and the uncertainty of not knowing if he
was ever going to see her again. He still wasn't 100% yet, but then that wasn't
going to happen this soon.
~*~*~*~*~
Four days later and we
were in
The magnetic letter board
scare turned out to be just that: a scare. We were all on edge for the next
couple days, like waiting for disaster to strike. Nothing happened though so we
all sort of eased back into the life of touring. My nightmares came back full
throttle, but other than that, things were better.
My worry that things
might turn awkward with Nick because of how I felt were unfounded. There was
nothing that could come between us, not to metion, I hid my feelings well.
Unfortunaltey, they were getting stronger, if that was at all possible.
"Niiiickkkkk...I'm
boooorrreeedddd." I whined. We had just gotten to the hotel about an hour
ago. We had recently found out that the fans had somehow been misinformed on
our whereabouts. Evidently a rather large crowd had formed at a nearby
Sheraton. We were in a Radisson. For some oddball reason, this greatly amused
me and I wanted to run with it.
"What did you have
in mind?" Nick was reclining on the other bed in our room. After some
arguing, Nick managed to convince Brian that it was fine for us to room
together, provided we didn't drink.
I gave him a mischevious
smile. "I dunno, you're the expert."
He laughed. "Ya
know, I did see some vending machines..."
I stared at him, my eyes
growing to saucers. "Oh my god, the pop-tarts!" I exclaimed, busting
up.
"You want to?"
He gestured to the door.
"Hell yeah!" I
grinned enthusiastically. Another thing from our chats "way back
when." It was the great poptart scheme and I laughed so hard when he told
me about it that I nearly fell out of my chair.
"Let's go up a
floor, that way we won't get caught." He suggested, slipping the key card
into his back pocket. I followed him out the door, looking cautiously for
anyone that might get us into trouble. We weren't supposed to go anywhere
without telling detail first.
Thankfully, the hallways
were empty so we hurried to the staircase at the end of the hall. "You
have change?" Nick whispered as we climbed the flight of stairs.
"Yup." I
snickered. We stopped at the landing and Nick carefully opened the door. I
peeked around him and was surprised to see this hallway empty too. "Where
is everyone?" I whispered.
"Waiting for the
perfect time to use the vending machines." He whispered back, grinning.
We made our way down the
hall and around the corner. There was an ice machine, a pop machine and a
vending machine all side by side.
"Here, give me the
money." He whispered, holding out his hand. I swear, two little horns were
poking out of the top of his head.
"Sweet! They've got
em!" I pointed to the blueberry poptarts on the third row.
Nick smirked as he fed
the quarters into the machine and the poptarts thudded to the bottom. As he was
reaching in to get them, I heard the elevator button ding.
"Nick, hurry!
Someone's coming!" I hissed.
He looked over his
shoulder and hastily tore the paper off the poptarts. With a quick grin to me,
he shoved the poptart into the money slot, crumbs falling everywhere. I started
kicking at the crumbs to hide them, but Nick grabbed my hand.
"Come on!" He
pulled me back into a tiny corner with him. We were wedged between the ice
machine and the wall, barely out of sight. We held our breaths as the footsteps
grew louder. They stopped and I had to fight the urge to peek around the
corner. I heard a rustling then, "What the hell?!"
Nick and I looked at each
other and I started to snicker. He swiftly clamped a hand over my mouth, his
own twitching. More footsteps sounded and we both froze, listening.
"Hi, there."
"Yeah, hi. Uh, I
hope you weren't planning on getting something out of there. Some dumb kid
shoved something in the money slot..." The irritated man explained.
"Oh, you've got to
be kidding." A woman's disappointed voice replied. "Well, maybe
another floor then. Would you like to join me?"
"Nah, thanks. It
ain't worth the trouble." The man grumbled.
Nick's eyes met with mine
and I could tell it was taking all of our power to not totally bust up. When I
figured I was composed enough, I took his hand off my mouth. Only I didn't let
go right away.
He didn't either.
Suddenly I realized how
close we were standing. Our eyes locked and my heart started beating a little
faster. Instinctively I started to close my eyes.
"Hey! What the
hell?" An all too familiar and annoyed voice demanded.
Busted...
*~*~*~*~
updated:
My eyes flew open when I heard the distinctive sound of AJ’s rasp bellow in the
vending machine room. I stared into Lizz’s eyes before I turned to address the
voice.
“Oh, hi AJ,” I causally greeted. Judging by his body language, he was geared up
to fire questions at me, a dollar bill was hanging from his left hand, his
billfold in the other. “So.. um, what’s new?”
“You ass, why did you have to go and ruin the only vending machine that had
Munchos in them?!” AJ demanded.
“How the hell was I gonna know you were gonna go up a freakin floor to get
snacks?”
A smile slowly crept up on AJ’s lips as he looked at Lizz and
My body stiffened at AJ’s accusation. I could feel the heat rise into my
cheeks, the feelings of embarrassment coupled with anger filled my mind. I felt
that Lizz surely didn’t have the feelings I had and to have AJ point it out so
bluntly made me want to sink back towards the ice machine and hide. I couldn’t
look at Lizz, I knew she had to be feeling humiliation having AJ throw that in
her face. Granted I was about to kiss her before AJ rudely interrupted us, but
that probably was just the heat of the moment and she more than likely would
have slapped my face after I kissed her.
“What are you talking about?” Lizz piped up.
AJ chuckled. “It’s obvious, you two are in love, admit it so we can get on with
it.”
Before I could answer, a hotel patron entered the vending machine room, ice
bucket in her hands. Her mouth dropped open as she looked at the three of us
standing in the room.
AJ cleared his throat. “You might want to go to another floor, the snack
machine’s been sabotaged.”
I rolled my eyes at AJ.
“Oh.. oh, no, I just wanted,” the woman stammered and then held out the green
hotel bucket, “I just needed ice.”
Feeling stupid and at a loss for words at the moment, I grabbed the bucket from
her and held it under the ice spout. The ice poured out rather noisily than I
had ever noticed before. “Here ya go.”
She smiled sheepishly and nodded and said a quiet ‘thank you’ before turning
away and walking back towards her room.
Mercifully, my pager went off just as AJ opened his mouth to continue his
discussion. I glanced at the numbers. “Hey, I gotta go, my mom’s paging me.
Come on Lizz.”
We made it back to our floor, but not without difficulties. Evidently the woman
that caught us in the vending machine was a fan and word was leaking out as to
what hotel we were at.
“I can’t believe how quick that spread,” Lizz stated as I slammed the door shut
to our hotel room.
“Never takes long,” I replied as I laid the room card on the table and threw my
body onto the bed.
“I guess I’m gonna slip into the shower, okay?”
“You know you don’t have to have permission,” I snapped. I saw the hurt look on
her face and I immediately regretted my mouth. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong,
I guess my nerves are getting fried.”
“It’s understandable.”
Sighing, I laid back onto the bed after the bathroom door clicked shut and the
water started running. Staring at the ceiling, a million thoughts were floating
in my mind. I wondered if Lizz felt about me like I was feeling towards her. I
looked at my life and wondered why the hell would anyone want to share it with
me? Was I capeable of having a relationship?
“Nick you’re being stupid! Knock it off!” I mumbled outloud to myself. I
couldn’t second guess her thoughts. I had to confront her with my feelings. I
had to take the risk. But how? How could I do this?
Dragging my body off the bed, I approached the bathroom door. A playful part of
me wanted to go in and join her in the shower, the sensible part of me mentally
slapped my brain for even thinking such things. “I love you Lizz.”
There, I said it.
“What did you say Nick?” Lizz called out of the sound of the shower.
“I said I’m going to Brian’s room, I should be back in a few minutes, okay?”
“Okay,” she called back.
Grabbing the room card off the dresser, I mentally kicked myself. “Nick, you’re
such a coward.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
“How much farther to Raleigh, Momma?” Terri called out from the back of the
rickety stolen van.
“Oh not too much further baby, right Vinnie?”
Vincent only smiled and grinned with a gap-toothed grin, compliments of one too
many fights in the prision. “You know we all have our reasons for hating Carter
and lemme tell you, I’m the first one to get him, not you!”
Agnes shook her head. “Vinnie, your stupidity only laid you in the slammer. If
you had been smart you would have kept your mouth shut and did that girl and
his friend in when you had the chance. That would have made that boy suffer for
quite some time before we tortured him to death.”
“Well I beg to differ Momma, look at me!” Terri seethed as she slammed her
fists onto her numb thighs. “I can’t walk anymore and I need help doing
anything I want. He broke my back and he needs to pay for this!”
“Well, he not only paralyzed my baby, he killed my boy and took your lover in
the beginning. He needs to have justice served!” Agnes spat.
“Yeah yeah yeah....alright shuddup! We all have reasons for hating Carter. I
sent them a package to that fancy place in that one hotel to shake things up a
bit for them, make them keep looking over their shoulders,” Vinnie grinned and
then belched.
“I hope it was poison!” Terri laughed.
“Good idea, but no we will save that shit for later, this was a mind game I was
playing on his little friend that Brian freak...whoops, almost lost it,” Vinnie
laughed as he steered the van back onto the pavement from the shoulder of the
road.
Agnes smacked Vinnie on the back of the head. “Watch the road you fool, we
can’t draw attention! What did you send to that kid?”
“When he lost his voice and used that one magnet board, I sent him a new one,”
Vinnie laughed. “I bet they were squirming wondering where in the hell that
came from!”
“Good idea! We can play some more cat and mouse until the time is right and
then.....bang! We got ‘em,” Terri grinned as she held a clenched fist into the
air.
“Vincent! There’s the exit, turn here!” Agnes barked.
“Oops, okay then, we find a hotel to lay low in and then we wait for the
perfect time and the perfect place. According to the schedule, they’re supposed
to be here for three days! Besides, I want to hear pretty boy’s reaction to the
latest little gift I sent to him!”
“Three days to mess with their heads,” Terri grinned. Soon she was joined in
with Agnes and Vincent’s malicious laughter.
*~*~*~*~*~
“Okay Nick, just do it, that’s easy according to Brian, he said to just tell
her,” I coached myself as I walked back towards the hotel room that Lizz and I
shared.
“OHMYGOD! NIIIIICK!”
I turned to see a cluster of girls standing in the hall. My only thought was
escape, but I knew that would be silly to try and out run a group of twelve
teenagers. If I gave them the complimentary autographs and smile for some
pictures, I could escape back into my room. I pasted a smile on my face. Okay,
I guess judging by their reaction that wasn’t a good idea.
“Hey, calm down, please!” I pleaded as some of the girls started screaming. We
were in a freakin hotel hall for crying out loud. My eyes darted, praying I
would see someone from detail in the hall to save me. No such luck. “Okay, I
can only sign some autographs and some pictures but we have to---- oh god” I
was blinded by a camera that flashed into my eyes only inches from my face. I
put my hand to my eyes and I could still see the blinding flash and the voice
of one girl saying ‘oh great Rachel, you blinded Nick Carter!’.
“Nick? I want you to have this,” someone from the cluster hollered and thrusted
a small box at me.
I clumsily grabbed at it, missing it at first but then managed to connect with
it. “Thanks.”
My vision was coming back and I could see that the crowd was growing. I
suddenly realized that if I didn’t make a move for my door, there would be a
security issue happening in a matter of minutes. Clutching the box I bade my
apologies and quickly pushed my way through the sea of disappointed faces only
to have a few more cameras being flashed into my eyes and someone screaming
into my ear.
“What the heck happened with you and Brian? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,”
Lizz questioned once I managed to slam the door shut behind me.
“Girls,” was all I managed to spit out.
“Girls?”
There’s a mob out there,” I replied as sank on the corner of my bed.
“You’re afraid of teenagers? Since when?” Lizz snickered.
I could thankfully hear the sounds of men’s voices and walkie talkies which
indicated that detail was now on our floor and clearing out the commotion of
fans that had gathered. Lizz noticed the noise as well, her eyes widened.
“Go out in the hall and find out,” I grinned.
“Um, no thanks, I think I can take your word for it,” she replied. Her eyes
focused on the small package that was laying next to me. “What’s that?”
I looked at the small box. “Oh, something one of those girls out in the hall
handed me.”
Lizz’s face grew serious. “Throw it out!”
“Huh?”
“Don’t open it, throw it out,” she insisted.
“Oh come on, don’t be silly, it’s from a fourteen year old girl, I’m sure it’s
harmless,” I stated as I picked the package up and tore at the decorative
paper. “See, it’s harmless, a bottle of bath wash. She must of thought I
smelled funny.”
“I’m sorry, I get paranoid sometimes...” Lizz remarked, her voice trailing.
I walked over to where she was standing and cupped chin with my hand, trying to
get her to look into my eyes. “Hey, I have the same thoughts, but I seriously
don’t think we have to worry about a fourteen year old fan, okay? Those people
are in prison, far, far away from....where are we again?”
“Raleigh Nick, Raleigh, North Carolina,” Lizz smirked.
I smiled. “Yeah that too.” I turned and scooped up the bottle of body wash.
“Okay, I’m going to take a quick shower with this bottle of sea breeze scent
and when I get done, I want to sit down and have a talk with you, okay?”
Lizz smiled and nodded.
“Okay, see you in a few, don’t go missing me.”
Her only response was giggling. God, I how couldn't I not love that?
***
