Chapter 10

She put the book down and sighed.  There was no point in trying to distract herself.  Her mind always wandered back to Nick.  Katarina moved the covers off her and got up, tired of lying in bed.  The sun was shining, coffee was brewing...it was time to be alive.  Besides, if Nick was up, she wanted to be there.  Yawning, she opened the door to her room.

"Ow!  Caroline!"

"I know it hurts Nickolas, darling, but this is necessary."

"SHIT!"

"I'll let that go this time."

Wondering what was going on, Katarina walked down the hallway and stopped beside Nick's room.  What is Caroline doing?

"I don't see why you think this is necessary Caroline.  My face isn't going to get any better."

"You don't know that.  Besides, this will keep your skin from getting infected."

"Ow!"

"Hush you big baby!  I'm almost done."

Katarina's curiosity was really getting to her now.  Whatever Caroline was doing, it had to do with Nick's face.  That mask must be off... She crept closer to the door.  Maybe I can take a peek...

"Rina's still sleeping Nickolas.  You don't have to be watching the door like she's going to pop in at any moment."

"You're probably right...but just in case, I'd really feel better if you'd close the door.  I don't want her to see me."

"All right dear, but I don't think she'd react so harshly if she saw you."

"Are you kidding me?  She'll run like the wind the moment she sees what kind of thing I've become.  I mean, look at her Caroline...she's beautiful..."

"That doesn't mean she doesn't see the beauty in anyone else Nickolas."

Her voice was getting louder.  Katarina scrambled into the room next to Nick's and stayed perfectly still until she heard the door close.  Feeling dejected, she trudged back to her room and sat on the chair in front of her mirror.  Out of all people, the one she expected to see past her looks was Nick...and now she just heard it from his own mouth that because of how she looked like, he thought she was shallow.  Tears filled her eyes.  Won't anyone ever give her a chance?  She stared at her reflection in the mirror, wishing that Nick's words didn't hurt her the way they did.  It wasn't as though she was expecting him to feel the same way she did...  Depressed, she began to run her comb through her hair and came to a decision.  If Nick wasn't the guy she was looking for, maybe it was time to look elsewhere.

Maybe it was time to go home.

***

Kevin signed the last autograph and waved to the group of girls before returning to his shopping.  Kristin had an audition today, so he was in charge of the groceries this time.  Things didn't go as smoothly as planned though.  BSB may be over, but that didn't make him any less popular apparently.  He'd been searching for some pasta when four ladies approached him for an autograph.  He was surprised considering, but hey, it was nice to know that they still had some loyal fans out there.  The only thing that bothered him was that they also seemed to believe that Nick wasn't dead...  He asked them why and they simply shrugged.

"Because Brian thinks he is and he's Nick's best friend."

He sighed as he picked up some Cheerios for breakfast.  He wished he could use their logic.

"Hey stranger!  It's been a while."

Kevin stiffened.  This has to be a joke.  He turned around and groaned inwardly.  No, it wasn't a joke at all.  Rachel was standing right behind him, grinning like she'd just won the lottery.  The prize?  My bank account, he thought angrily and crossed his arms.  "Rachel, what are you doing here?"

"Same as you.  Grocery shopping.  This store is only a few blocks from where I live."

Where she lives?!?! This really is a nightmare!  "Oh."

She inched closer to him and made a point of sticking out her chest...like that was supposed to be attractive...  "You're welcome to come by and visit some time...I'm a great hostess."

He frowned.  "Rachel, do you really think I'm that stupid?"

"What?"

"Look," he brushed past her and moved toward the vegetable section, "you may have been able to fool Nick with your 'charms', but you sure as hell didn't fool the rest of us, so look for your fortune elsewhere 'cuz none of us are biting."

Rachel put her hands on her hips.  "That is not why I went out with Nick!"

"Oh please!  We all knew it the moment we saw you!" Kevin shook his head, "I just wish Nick could've seen it before he..."

"All I'm doing is moving on with my life," she grabbed his arm, "and I think I can do it...with you."

"I'm married Rachel."

"So?"

Kevin removed her hand from his arm in disgust.  "Stay away from me and my wife."  He moved toward the cashiers at the front of the store.

"Kevin, get back here!"

He ignored her and paid for his groceries.

"Kevin!"

He left the store, aware of all the people staring but not really caring what they thought.

He was tired of her bullshit.

***

"What has got you so troubled dear?" Caroline looked at Katarina in concern.  Since she'd come down for breakfast, she didn't look like her usual cheery self.

"It's nothing Caroline.  Really."

She took a seat next to her young friend and patted her hand.  "Talk to me Rina.  You know I won't tell anyone, especially Nickolas."

Katarina stared at the fireplace, not saying anything.  And then she looked at her.  "I'm not a shallow person Caroline.  I know I'm not."

She raised an eyebrow.  "I never said that dear."

"I know you didn't.  But Nick did."

"When?"

"...This morning."

Caroline gazed at her in confusion.  "But..." and then she paused.

"Yes, I overheard everything."

"I'm sorry you did."

"That's okay," Katarina sighed, "it's better that I know the truth now instead of later when it'd be too late to do anything."

Now Caroline was frowning.  "I don't understand."

"I...I'm leaving.  Tomorrow."

"What?"

Katarina stood.  "I can't stay here Caroline.  It's too hard."

"But...dear...I just don't--"

"Nick doesn't see me the way I see him.  He feels nothing for me.  Why should I stay?"

"You don't know that Rina."

"I think I do."

She sighed.  "Rina, why don't you talk to him?  Let him know how you feel."

"Why?  So he can laugh in my face?  No thank you."

"Rina--"

"Caroline please," Katarina looked at her pleadingly, "don't make this any harder on me.  It's going to be hard enough to say good-bye..."

***

"So, what do you think?"

Nick watched Katarina as she studied the portrait.  When her lips curled into a smile his heart felt like it was going to pop out of his chest.

"It's beautiful Nick.  You did a fantastic job."

He appreciated her comments, although he didn't show it.  Lately, her opinions seemed to matter greatly to him...

"I'm sure Caroline will love it."

He frowned.  The cheeriness in her voice had dropped all of a sudden.  She seemed troubled.  Should he even ask?

She sighed.  "I'm going downstairs."

"Uh, Rina wait."

"What?" she looked at him sadly.

Nick frowned.  Why was she so upset?  "Are you...are you all right?  You seem...kinda down."

"I have my ups and downs like everyone else..."

"Oh."  He looked down at the floor.  What else could he say?

"Nick, what...what do you really think of me?"

Confused, he raised his head to gaze at her again.  "Huh?"

"Well...when you look at me," she began to play with her hair, "what do you see?"

He gulped.  This was not expected.  "Why do you want to know?"

"Oh never mind," she moved to the door, "forget I asked."

"Rina," he went after her and grabbed her arm, "why do you want to know."

She wouldn't look at him.  "Curiosity?"

"Right."  Nick scrutinized her, millions of questions arising.  "I see...well...you."

Now she was staring.  "Me?"

"You."  His mouth went completely dry from his uneasiness.  If she kept pushing this, he was going to say things he didn't want to say.  The less she knew about his feelings the better.  But it was hard when she was looking at him like that...like she wanted the same thing he'd been craving for days...

She cleared her throat.  "I see you too Nick."

He didn't know how it even happened, but both his arms were now around her waist and her face was just so close...

It was suddenly hard to breathe.

One kiss wouldn't hurt right?  He thought to himself as he leaned his head forward and licked his lips.  Just one to satisfy his curiosity...and the mystery that was her mouth.  There was still a part of him waiting for a sign that she didn't want this, but when her arms wrapped around his neck, he knew without a doubt that she was just as anxious for this as he was...

"Nickolas?  Rina?  I-- Oh Dear!"

Both Nick and Katarina gasped and pushed away becoming fully aware of the sudden intrusion.  "Caroline!  You're...you're home early," Nick moved in front of the portrait he'd been painting for her and stared wide eyed at the shocked expression on her face.

"We...were...uh...just uh..."

Katarina looked so flustered that Nick wanted to hold her and let her know that it was okay.  But now was definitely not the time to do so.

Surprisingly, Caroline broke into laughter.  "No need to explain dear.  I was a young lady once."

"I...I..." Katarina looked no where near humored.  "I have to use the bathroom." She fled the room like her life depended on it.

Caroline shook her head.  "Poor thing.  She's so timid," she grinned and looked at Nick.

He knew that sparkle in her eye.

"I see you managed to bring her out of her shell a little more..."

"Caroline!"

She laughed heartily.  "I'll be downstairs cooking dinner if you need anything."

Too embarrassed to say anything he just nodded.

"Oh and one more thing dear."

"...Yes?"

"If you're planning to court my guest, I suggest you lock the door next time!"

***

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