Chapter 13
“I’m going to powder my
nose.”
Billie stood and excused
herself from the rowdy table where she'd spent the last two hours in utter
boredom. She pushed through the crowd in the jam-packed club, and into
the surprisingly clean washroom, wondering if her colleagues even noticed that
she'd left. She heaved a sigh of relief, the washroom a quiet escape from
the screaming and incessant drinking. Her temporary co-workers were nice
people, but when they were drunk…that was a whole other story. At least
the problem at the branch was almost taken care of. She’d probably be
heading home in a few more days.
After touching up her make
up and readjusting her outfit, she smiled in satisfaction at her
reflection. I just hope nobody hits
on me, she thought warily as she left the sanctuary of the washroom, thank God I have my engagement ring on…
She glanced around the festive atmosphere and spotted the bar a few feet away
from her. I suppose I could use a
soda. She took no more than two steps when she collided into an
unseen figure.
“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry!”
“It’s no problem,” Billie
replied and raked her fingers through her short blond locks before glancing up,
“it was my--” Her eyes widened.
It was him!
“Billie?!”
If it weren’t for the fact
that she, too, was shocked out of her mind, she would’ve laughed at the
bewildered expression on his face. “Howie! What are you doing
here?”
He stared at her wide-eyed
for a few moments before responding. “I’m visiting Brian and
Leighanne. What are you doing here?”
“I’m here on
business.” Her lips curved into a grin. “What a small world huh?”
His eyes softened.
“Yeah...”
Billie, suddenly realizing
that her heart was rapidly beating against her chest, moved her gaze toward the
ground. What is wrong with me?
“How are you?” he asked,
breaking into her confusing thoughts.
“I’m fine. A little
tired, but fine. You?”
“To be honest, a little
freaked out. I didn’t think I’d see you again.” He smiled. “I
guess it’s my lucky day this time.”
She laughed, feeling flattered
by his words. “Well, now I can see why they call you ‘Sweet D.’”
Howie shared in her
laughter and then looked over his shoulder.
Billie raised an
eyebrow. “Are you here with someone?”
He shook his head
vehemently. “Not really. A.J’s here with
Sarah, but I lost track of them a while ago. I was kinda feeling like the
third wheel.”
“Aww…” her eyes brightened
with excitement, “do you think I could meet them sometime?”
“Well, I don’t see why
not, but maybe some other time. Unless you want to spend the rest of the
night searching for them in here.”
She crinkled her
nose. “Nah. Are you leaving now?”
“Depends. Are you?”
he gazed at her hopefully.
Billie shrugged.
“Well, to be honest, I was going to…”
“Oh. Well, do you
have a ride?”
“Actually no. My
co-workers appear to be having too much fun to worry about me.”
Howie smiled. “Good,
then I can drive you.”
Touched by the offer, she
gladly accepted and ignored the tingling in her stomach. “Thank you very
much. Um…maybe tomorrow, we can meet for lunch…if you want…”
“Are you sure your fiancé
won’t mind?”
Kris… She gulped,
realizing that she hadn’t really thought of him much since she got here a few
days ago. “Well, he’s not here…and even if he were, he’s not the jealous
type.”
Howie nodded and stayed
pensive for a few moments.
“Look, you don’t have--”
His grin silenced her.
“I’ll pick you up at
***
"I just
don't understand Caroline." Katarina sighed as
she kneaded the cookie dough. "What did I do that was so
wrong?"
Caroline's
blue eyes glanced at her in sympathy. "Nothing, dear. There's
just...there's a lot that Nickolas has yet to explain to you. That is, if
he chooses to."
She
grimaced. "Yeah. Like that's ever going to happen."
"Rina, I know I've told you this countless times already,
but you have to be patient with him. I'm not trying to excuse his rude
behavior with you these past few days, but he's been through so much pain that
neither you nor I could ever comprehend."
Katarina shook her head. "Maybe you're right Caroline, but he's not
the only one who's had to live with demons. I live with them everyday of
my life and you don't see me acting like the biggest jerk who ever
lived." No, that wasn't going to cut it with her. She was so
sick and tired of his attitude that the thought of going back to
"I
need you Rina...I need you to save me."
"Save
you...?"
"I
know you're the only one who can. Save me Katarina..."
"From
what?"
"From
myself..."
She closed her
eyes, haunting memories of her dreams plagued her mind, filling her with so
many questions that had no answers. Who was the man in her dreams?
Why was she the only one who could save him...and what did he have to do
with Nick? She knew there had to be some kind of connection because she
kept having dreams like that every time she and Nick fought...which was a
regular routine these days.
Katarina had her share of terrible things said to her by Kris since he came
into her life years ago, but while those instilled fear, Nick's harsh words
were like a knife slashing unremittingly into her heart. And even when
she ran away from him weeping, he would scream at her retreating figure to stay
out of his life, to go to hell... and worst of all,
That he hated
her.
Yet, if that
were the case, why is it that when she sometimes pressed her ear to his door,
she could hear him sobbing...wishing for death...and wishing for her?
Tears began to
blur her vision.
Why won't
you just talk to me Nick...?
***
Nick stared at
the photo in his hand while sitting nearby his bed and wished there was some
way to talk to them. He needed to hear their voices, hear their
laughter... He wondered how his parents were doing, if Aaron's was riding
high with his career, if BJ was making her dreams come true...
If they missed
him as much as he missed them.
A tear rolled
down his cheek and he wiped it away roughly. He was tired of
crying. A man wasn't supposed to cry so easily. Could he even
consider himself a man? A beast seemed more fitting. After all,
that's what Katarina had called him during their last
fight.
"Just
stop it Nick! Stop treating me like everything is my fault! I
didn't do anything but respond to what I felt! What I thought you
felt!"
"Well,
I guess you thought wrong didn't you?"
"What
happened to you?! Where's the Nick Carter that I got to know and...care
for?!"
"NOTHING
THAT'S OF YOUR CONCERN DAMMIT! NOW GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"
"Nick
please!"
"GET
OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!!!!!"
"FINE!
Obviously it was wrong of me to think that you had a heart...you're NOTHING but
a BEAST NICKOLAS CARTER! DO YOU HEAR ME?! A BEAST!"
She didn't
know that had shattered whatever was left of his heart...she didn't know that
she had hit the mark exactly where it hurt the most. She didn't know that
if he revealed himself to her, that's exactly what she would see.
A full fledged
beast.
He stuffed the
picture of his family back into his secret spot and grimaced at the scars on
his wrists. How many times had he done it and failed...he couldn't even
count anymore. His last attempt had almost done the trick, but Katarina found him sprawled in his bathroom and hollered to
Caroline for help. They'd succeeded in saving his life. He felt no
reason to thank them.
He didn't want
to be saved.
Nick rolled
down his long sleeves and stood. He wondered how much longer before Katarina would go to sleep so he could roam about the house
freely...without her beautiful eyes following his every move. God he
ached to feel her touch again...to feel her lips surrender to his like they had
once before. But there were too many things in the way. Too many
spiteful words said.
"...you're
NOTHING but a BEAST NICKOLAS CARTER!..."
He hated her
for being right.
***
"Howie?
Have you heard a word I said?"
He looked at
Kevin suddenly and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry man. I've just
got a lot on my mind."
Kevin looked
at Kristin knowingly and then returned his gaze to Howie.
"Billie?"
He
nodded. "Yeah."
"She
seems like a nice woman," Kristin commented with a smile, "she fit in
really well with us."
Howie
laughed. "Thanks Kristin. You know how badly I strive for your
approval."
Kristin leaned
back in her seat and grinned. "Ha ha."
"FLIGHT
204 FROM
Howie
stood. "Well, that's me." He hugged the happy couple.
"Take
care buddy and keep in touch." Kevin smiled halfheartedly. "If
you need anything don't hesitate to call."
He
nodded. "Same goes for you." Howie understood the
nervousness in Kevin's voice. They, along with A.J and Brian all shared
the same fear that distance would change the bond that they Boys had
established once again. It would never be exactly the same without
Nick...but they had to manage.
It was time to
start a new life.
Howie stepped
through the gate and made his way onto the plane, his mind on the events of the
past week. Brian seemed to be resigning himself to the fact that Nick
wasn't ever going to come back. The sometimes tense atmosphere of the
Littrell house seemed to dissipate once he'd stopped wracking his mind for
answers. Howie was more than relieved. Brian even looked
healthier. And that was much more important that searching for something
that they were never going to find.
Then there was
Billie.
His lips
curved into a delighted smile. Lunch with her had been the most pleasant
hour and a half of his life. She was a fan, but he didn't get the vibe
that she was after his money or his fame, especially since she had confessed in
their first encounter that she was engaged to someone else. His smile
dimmed. Kris Reid was his name. Billie had told him that they'd met
about two years ago at a club in
She also had a
younger sister named Katarina and from what he
gathered from the conversation, they had an unbreakable bond. She'd shown
him her picture and he smiled with the realization that beauty seemed to run in
their family. Katarina looked like someone that
stole hearts easily. He could almost guarantee that Nick would've fancied
her.
If he were
still alive.
Howie relaxed
against the comfortable seat and closed his eyes, picturing Billie's smiling
face, her brilliant blue eyes sparkling with tenderness and humor, her kissable
pink lips...
"Would
you like a drink sir?"
The stewardess
interrupted his pleasing thoughts with an offer of some drinks and he opened
his eyes for a moment. "No thanks." She continued on her
way and sighing, Howie stared out the window. He shouldn't be doing this
to himself. She was getting married for crying out loud! He had no
right to want her, much less love her. But it was so hard to fight these
feelings when she had everything he'd ever wanted in a woman. She was
gentle, kind, outgoing...she seemed to care a lot about others...
She was
perfect...except that she belonged to somebody else...
***
"DAMMIT!"
Kris slammed
the last drawer and restrained himself from smashing a hole in his fiancée's
wall. He'd been searching all week and there was nothing.
Absolutely nothing that could lead him to Katarina.
Stupid bitch! I ought to dump her ass for being so useless!
But that wouldn't be a smart move at the moment. Billie was his only
passage to Kat...he couldn't afford to lose it.
Where are
you hiding Kitten? How long will I have to wait to see your beautiful
face...your body...to feel myself inside you... He grinned.
He couldn't wait for that. But for now, he had to make due with Billie
and the wretched wedding. She'd be back tomorrow. Finally he'd be
able to get some, he thought slyly, feeling himself stirring just from that
thought. He'd wanted to go out and find some way of releasing his
frustrations but he'd been too busy searching her apartment for Kat's
whereabouts.
What a waste.
The phone
ringing caught his attention and he answered. "Hello?" A
gasp was the reply and instantly his mood brightened. With a wide grin,
he began to speak. "Is that you Kitty Kat?"
"Wh...where's
Billie?"
"Out of
town. I've been looking everywhere for you Kat."
"Tell
Billie I called."
She hung up
before he could utter another word. Laughing he put the receiver back in
it's place. Looks like his luck hadn't disappeared on him after
all. He'd heard from her...he could feel his excitement growing.
Just hearing her voice made him horny...until he realized an important detail.
Billie didn't
have caller I.D.
"DAMMIT!!!"
***
