Chapter 18
The stars
above them twinkled like tiny diamonds against the black sky and the chilly
breeze swirled around them, attempting to chill them to the bone...but they
hardly paid attention. All they could feel...all they could see was each
other.
Katarina gazed into his eyes, wondering how she could've
survived this whole time without him. He'd become everything to her...her
world, her life...
Her heart.
He caressed
her soft cheek with his finger. "I love you Rina,"
he whispered ever so gently, sending shivers of warmth throughout her whole
body and tears threatened to stream from her eyes.
"I
love you too, Nick," she murmured, meaning it fully, without a doubt in
her mind.
He grinned
and dipped his head to tenderly meet her lips with his.
A moan
escaped her lips and she pressed her body closer to his, aching for so much
more, but afraid of asking for it. She pulled back and opened her eyes to
gaze at him again...
And then
she screamed.
"What's
the matter Kitten? Isn't this what you wanted?"
Katarina stared wide-eyed as Kris grinned at her slyly
while holding her tightly in his arms. "Where's Nick?! Where
is he?!"
"Nick's
dead and buried baby. It's just you and me now."
"No!"
She tried desperately to wriggle out from his grasp, "that's not
true!"
"Believe
it Kitty Kat...now you're all mine...and it's time you paid for rejecting
me."
"No!"
she cried out as his lips assaulted her neck and he forced her to the cold
ground. "Get off me Kris!! GET OFF!!"
"God
you smell so good," he murmured, ignoring her cries, "I've been
waiting so long for this..."
"Please!!"
she begged, fear gripping her heart, "stop!!!" His hands
continued roaming her body, ripping apart her clothes, taking away her
dignity. "No!! NOOOOOOOO..."
"Rina! Rina!
Wake up!!"
"Noooooo!!!!!"
Katarina screamed again and sat up with a
start. "Oh God! Oh God!" she sobbed. "He hurt
me Caroline...he hurt me so bad..." She felt her arms fall around
her and she continued to sob on her shoulder.
"Shhh..."
Caroline rocked her back and forth, "it's all right darling. It was
just a nightmare. No one hurt you. You're right here with me...it's
okay..."
After
listening to her lulling words for a few moments longer, Katarina
finally willed her tears to stop and she lifted her head. "I...I'm
so sorry for waking you Caroline. I didn't mean..."
She shook her
head. "You didn't wake me, dear. It's about
"Oh..."
she took a deep breath and tried to rub the cold sweat off her forehead.
"It was such a horrible dream Caroline," her voice shook, "Nick
was there at first...and we were having such a beautiful time together...and
then he disappeared...and he was there instead..." Her eyes began
to water. "And he...he..."
"Don't
say it Rina. I understand," Caroline
looked at her sympathetically. "Just remember, it was only a
dream. You know that louse never got what he wanted...and as long as
you're under this roof, he won't."
Feeling a tad
reassured, she nodded and looked around. "Is Nick here?"
"Yes, but
he didn't hear a thing. He's such a sound sleeper."
"Good,"
she sighed, "I don't want him to worry."
"Dear,
have you told him what happened to you?"
Katarina shifted her gaze to her hands. "Not yet."
"Why
not?"
"Because...I...I
don't want him to treat me differently Caroline. I like it when he
touches me...when he kisses me... What if I tell him and then he treats
me like some kind of broken china."
"If he
reacts that way, it's because he cares about you Rina.
He's very worried about making a mistake with you...he doesn't want to lose
you."
"He
won't," she promised. "...I guess you're right. Maybe I
should tell him. After all, he's been nothing but honest with me so
far."
Caroline
smiled. "I think that would be wise. Now, go have a nice
relaxing bath and I'll fetch you some breakfast."
Katarina took a deep breath and finally managed a smile.
"Okay..."
***
Billie wiped
her eyes and decided that she would no longer cry for Kris Reid for the rest of
the day. She pushed herself to get out of bed and have a quick
shower. Later, as she rubbed her hair dry, she felt the tears prickling
at the back of her eyes again. Christmas was two days away and HE was on
his way to
He didn't even
invite her to come along.
"I
don't see why I can't come with you, Kris! It's the Christmas
Holidays! I want to spend them with you!"
"For
crying out loud Billie! It's a BUSINESS TRIP! There will hardly be
time to celebrate! Besides, you have your parents! Why don't you go
see them?!"
"I
told you they're on a cruise until after New Years!"
"Well
I'm sorry honey, but there's nothing I can do."
And then, this
morning, she awoke to find that he was gone. He left her just like that.
Without even
kissing her good-bye.
Billie held
back her tears and changed into a fresh outfit. I won't let him get to
me. If I'm not important enough for him, I refuse to let him be important
to me. She raised an eyebrow, surprised at her attitude. After
all, he'd done things like this before and she'd never been this upset.
What had changed? Confused, she strolled into her kitchen to make some
breakfast and almost instantly spied the piece of paper with Howie's phone
number on the table.
"Give
me a call some time okay? I'd like to keep in touch with you...and know
how you're doing."
Without a
moment's hesitation, she grabbed the paper and went into the living room.
She sat down on the couch, picked up her cordless and dialed. For some
reason, the moment she heard his voice, her heart leapt to her throat.
"Uh, hi Howie. It's me, Billie."
"Billie?
Who's Billie?"
Her heart
sank. "Don't you--"
His laughter
interrupted her. "I'm just kidding!"
She let out a
sigh of relief and giggled. "Geez! You had me for a second
there."
He chuckled
again. "So, how are you?"
"I'm...okay.
You?"
"Just
chillin' I guess. Billie, are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah...I
am," her voice shook slightly, his concerned voice warming her heart,
"it's just that...I'm a little sad."
"Why?"
"Well,
Kris left for a business trip this morning...and he won't be back until after
New Years some time."
"WHAT?!"
Billie winced.
"And he
just left you there alone?!"
"Mmmhmm." She didn't trust her voice anymore.
"That
lousy son--"
"What?"
"Nothing.
Do you have any other plans then?"
She
sighed. "No. My sister is spending the holidays with her
boyfriend in
"I
see."
She could hear
a slight hesitation in his voice and she wondered what was going through his
mind.
"Billie,
why don't you come down to
"Oh
Howie, I couldn't possibly--"
"Sure you
can. You just told me you're not doing anything else."
"But I
don't want to intrude on your family get together..."
"Are you
kidding? They'd probably be glad to know I'm bringing someone
along...even though our relationship's platonic."
"I don't
know Howie." She heard him sigh.
"Billie,
you don't deserve to spend the holidays by yourself. I promise, my family
won't bite!"
She
laughed. "Well that really was my only concern..."
"Hey!"
They cracked
up and Billie suddenly felt better about everything. Her mood was back to
its original cheery state.
Thanks to
Howie.
"All
right. I'll go."
"Great!
I'll pick you up Christmas Eve at about
"Sounds
good..."
***
Brian whistled
to the Christmas tunes playing on the stereo while he swept the floor in his
kitchen. He couldn't wait until Christmas Eve. He'd finally be back
in his hometown. He liked living in
He dried off
his hands and met her at the doorway where she waited with tons of groceries.
"Hey you," she smiled and gave him a peck on the lips before putting
some of the bags in his arms.
"Hey,"
he returned her smile and leaned in for another kiss which she accepted gladly.
"Well, I
see somebody's in a good mood today!"
Brian laughed
and they headed back into the kitchen. "Yeah I am. I don't
know what it is. I guess it's just the whole holiday spirit thing."
Leighanne
nodded and set some of the groceries down on the table. "I'm just
really happy to see you like yourself again Bri. I missed seeing you
smile like that."
He also set
down his bags and then pulled his adorable wife into a warm hug. "I
missed me too Leigh," he sighed, "and I'm glad to be back."
"Good."
She drew back and studied his face for a moment. "You know, I never
asked you why your attitude changed so abruptly..."
Brian
shrugged. "To be honest, I don't really know how to explain it to
you. I just...get the feeling that wherever Nick is...he's happy.
He's safe. That's all that's ever really mattered to me."
Leighanne
smiled and caressed his cheek. "I'm so lucky to have such a devoted
and caring man like you in my life, Bri."
"No,"
he leaned forward and kissed her sweet lips, "I'm the lucky one. I
love you Leigh."
"I love
you too."
Brian pulled
her closer and was about to suggest that they move this tender moment into the
bedroom when the phone rang, spoiling the mood. He sighed in
disappointment. "The next time we get this cozy, remind me to pull
the plug on the phone 'kay?"
Leighanne let
out a hearty laugh as she left to answer the phone.
He regained
his composure and resumed his housework, whistling again to the holiday
tunes. When he finished drying the dishes and putting the groceries where
they belonged, he frowned. Leigh's been gone a long time...maybe the
call's important. He strolled into the living room and saw Leighanne
hang up the phone, a grave expression on her face. Brian instantly grew
wary. "Honey, what's wrong?"
She looked at
him in disbelief. "That was Kristin."
Relieved, he
let his guard down. "Oh! She's back in L.A now? That's
great! Her and Kev will be in
"No, she
won't Bri."
His frown
returned. "She won't? But why?" Leighanne's next
sentences left him slack jawed.
"Kristin
found Kevin with another woman...and she left him..."
***
He sat on his
bed, alone, drowning in the misery that threatened to overtake him. In
his hands, he held her picture. The picture of the woman who'd stolen his
heart from the moment they met. A woman who he vowed to love 'til death
do them part. A woman he'd betrayed in one stupid night. Kevin
would never, ever, forgive himself for being so weak. And for betraying
her with his dead friend's ex-girlfriend. God Nick, I'm so
sorry... You have to believe me buddy...
Kristin has
been gone for two days now and with each passing hour, his heart grew more and
more heavy. Everywhere he went in the house, he could see her smiling
face, smell her perfume, feel her presence. He
loved her so much. How could he have done this to her? His guilt
was suddenly overridden with fury. And with HER! His distraught
green eyes narrowed. He'd never hated anyone more than he hated Rachel
Malone at this very moment. Right now, it wouldn't take much for him to
strangle the life out of her...wipe that smug smile off her face.
"Admit
it Kevy...it was hot. You liked being with
me. It was the best damn sex you ever had in your life!"
Sour liquid
rose to his throat, but he shoved back down. He couldn't believe he'd
actually touched that...that...tramp! His scowl deepened. The funny
thing was that he didn't remember a single thing about Rachel. Not one
single detail. He sighed and his eyes flooded with tears. It didn't
matter now anyway. Kristin was gone.
His life was
over.
Kevin just
barely heard the phone ring and he absentmindedly picked it up.
"Hello?" he grumbled.
"Kev?
Is that you?"
He closed his
eyes, his cousin's words gripping him tightly. No. It wasn't
him. He wasn't the man he thought he was.
No...
It wasn't him
at all.
"Kev?!"
"Yeah..."
"What
happened Cuz? Kristin called here a few minutes ago and--"
"What?!"
His eyes were instantly alert. "She called you? Is she
okay? Do you know where she is? Can you give me the address?"
"Whoa!"
Brian exclaimed, "hold up dude. I don't know where she is. She
spoke to Leigh."
"Can you
ask her if she knows anything?"
"Uh, I
hate to say this buddy, but Leigh's not exactly impressed with you at the
moment."
Kevin
sighed. "I can't blame her."
"What
happened Kev?" he prodded softly, "I thought you two were happy
together."
"We
are...we were..." Kevin felt his eyes begin to mist. "I don't
know what happened Brian. I just went out with some friends to a club...I
didn't even have any alcohol...and Rachel was there and she tried to seduce me
again, but I remember sending her away!"
"Kev,
you're not making sense to me."
"I
know...I just...I don't remember what happened to me that night. All I
know is that I woke up the next morning...and she was next to me."
"Who?"
"...Rachel."
His face twisted in disgust and he fought the urge to puke what little he had
eaten since yesterday.
"...You're
joking."
"I
wish." There was silence at the other end of the line after that and
Kevin wondered if Brian had hung up on him or something. He wouldn't be
surprised. It seemed like the whole world was against him at the moment.
"There's
something fishy about this."
A shot of
relief ran through him before comprehending his cousin's reply. His
eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean?"
"Let's
discuss this when we have time in
"I'm not
going Brian."
"Kev, you
have to. Don't you think the family's going to wonder what happened to
the two of you?"
"They'll
wonder even more when they see that Kristin's not with me." Pain
pierced his heart when those words left his mouth. How was he ever
supposed to go on with his life without her?
"Please
Cuz...just show up. We'll talk more then, okay?"
Kevin stayed
silent, unsure of what he should do, but eventually he let out a fatigued sigh
and agreed. After all, since he'd lost his wife...
He may as well
lose his family's respect too.
***
Nick's
forehead was creased in concentration as he sketched. He wanted this to
just right. With his pencil, he drew the lips he knew so well...the lips
that tasted like honey... Just thinking about them made him want to rush
out and find her. But he didn't want to interrupt her lessons.
Caroline had begun teaching Katarina how to quilt a
few weeks ago and he'd promised not to cause a distraction. That was okay
anyway. He was busy working on his own things...like his surprise for his
girl.
His
girl... A broad grin brightened his abnormal face and he stopped
sketching. Even though they'd been a couple for almost two months now, he
still couldn't believe that she was his...that she actually wanted to be a part
of his life...a part of him. Perhaps, God wasn't such a horrible man
after all.
Maybe.
All he knew
for certain was that he was a lucky man to have Rina
in his life...and he was going to do whatever he could to make her happy.
His grin still intact, he went back to work on his drawing. A few minutes
later, he heard a soft knock on his door.
"Nick?
Can I come in?"
Shit! "Just a
sec!" He stuffed the drawing pad into his safe place and shoved his
pencils inside one of his drawers before settling comfortably back on the
bed. "Okay!" Katarina stepped
in and his heart quickened. "Hey!"
"Hey,"
she mumbled and it was then that Nick realized that something wasn't
right. She looked nervous...scared...
Was she scared
of him? Did he do something wrong? But what? he wondered, I
didn't even get to talk to her much this morning...
"Nick, we
need to talk." She looked at him with troubled eyes.
"There's something you need to know...about me."
He didn't like
the look of foreboding in her eyes. What could possibly be
wrong? Things are going so well right now... "What
about?"
She climbed
into his bed and nestled herself into his arms. "You've been
completely honest with me since we became an item...and I...I want to be honest
with you now."
"Rina, you're beginning to freak me out here," he moved
his head so he could peer at her face, "are you..." The words
stuck in his throat.
As if she knew
what he was thinking, her eyes widened and she vehemently shook her head.
"No...I'm not breaking up with you Nick. I lo...care about
you. I'd never do that."
He relaxed
slightly, but the apprehension in her eyes still didn't leave. "Then
what is it?"
She stayed
quiet for a moment as she put together her thoughts and then she finally opened
up. "Remember the day before yesterday when I yelled at you not to
touch me?"
He
nodded. So there was something more to her attitude than what she
admitted. He had the feeling, but had decided not to press the issue
because she looked really shaken up.
"The
reason I did that was because you said something that triggered a memory...of
someone who'd once been a very important part of my life. Kris."
Instantly, he
stiffened. Kris? Who the hell is Kris?
"He's my
ex-boyfriend."
Now he was
feeling a little agitated. "I reminded you of your ex? If
you're trying to keep me from freaking out Rina,
you're not doing a very good job..."
"Nick,
just listen please?" Katarina gazed up at him,
her eyes pleading with his.
He sighed and
nodded.
"Kris was
the first guy I thought I was in love with. He treated me like a queen,
was always a gentleman and I thought I'd never meet anyone as great as he
was."
Nick had the
urge to find this Kris and give him a good kick in the ass, jealousy flowing
through his veins.
"I later
realized that I was totally wrong about him. One night, he'd asked me
to...have sex with him and I told him no."
His frown
deepened. He didn't like where this was going.
"Since
that night, he kept pressuring me and pressuring me until finally...he lost
patience and...and..."
Her voice, by
now, was trembling so terribly and Nick feared the words that were about to
come out of her mouth.
"He tried
to force himself on me."
"WHAT?!?!?!"
Nick bellowed in outrage.
Katarina pulled away from him and scurried to the other end of the bed,
frightened by his reaction.
He knew he'd
scared her half to death with his outburst, but right now he was too shocked,
too angry. In fact, he'd never been more furious in his life.
"He RAPED
you?!"
"Nn...no. He came close, but some people came to my
rescue," she answered, her voice just barely above a whisper.
He got off the
bed and began to pace. "I'll kill him," he ranted, "I
swear if I ever see that son of a bitch, I'll kill him."
"Nick,
don't talk like that please..."
"What do
you want me to say?! That I'm happy the asshole nearly..." he didn't
finish the sentence. He refused to finish it. "He hurt you Rina!"
"Yes, he
did. But it's over now."
He kept his
lips in a tight, firm line. Like hell it was. He's lucky I'm
fucking trapped in this house...mother fu--
"Nick...can't
you just hold me?"
He looked over
at her tremulous body and his eyes softened at her vulnerability. He was
by her side in an instant, enveloping her in his arms, wanting desperately to
take away her pain. "I'm so sorry Rina,"
he whispered while she wept, her head against his chest, "I wish there was
something I could do..."
"Just
hold me Nick...and don't ever let me go...ever..."
"I
won't," he vowed while stroking her hair, "I'll protect you with my
life Rina...I promise."
***
