Chapter 36
The next day
had been an overwhelming one for everyone concerned. When Kevin, A.J and
Howie had come face to face with Nick for the first time, they had bawled like
babies and welcomed him back with open arms.
"I
can't believe you're here!" Kevin cried as he gave Nick the biggest bear hug
he could muster.
"We
thought we'd lost you lil' bro," A.J murmured.
Howie was too
overcome with emotion to say anything. He'd just joined into the group
hug, his tears mingling with everyone else.
And Nick's
family?
Nick sat on
the bed and managed a tiny smile. He'd missed them so much...and he
feared that once they had a glimpse of his face, they would send him away.
"How
could you ever think such a thing!" His mother had scolded, "You're our
son Nickolas! We'll love you no matter what!"
And Aaron had
practically jumped on him, hugging him tightly, absolutely no fear in his
eyes. "You're still a dork to me Nick!"
Nick wiped a
few tears that had shed again as he recalled those few moments of
happiness. But as usual, they didn't last long.
Why?
Because even
though he had his family back, his brothers...his life, he didn't have the one
thing he needed the most.
The one person
he needed to be complete.
And he had no
one to blame but himself.
***
One Month Later
"How was
the operation?" Katarina asked as she made
herself comfortable on the sofa, her eyes red and swollen.
"It went
all right actually," Brian replied happily, "the doctor says he's
still got a lot of scars, but at least it's not as bad as before..."
She smiled in
relief. "That's great. I'm so happy for him."
"I knew
you would be. He came back home a few days ago and he's anxious to take those
bandages off his face to see the results." His voice grew
quieter. "You should come see him."
"No
Brian. We said good bye already. I don't need to go through that
again." She heard him sigh.
"Leigh
wants you to visit."
"When you
guys head back to
"I guess
I understand. I hope you know he misses you though."
I miss him
too.
"I have to go Brian. Let me know if anything changes."
"You
bet. Bye."
"Bye."
Katarina hung up and stood, trying her hardest to just put Nick out of her mind
now. She had a class at
"Hey
girl," Billie greeted as she walked in, a beaming smile on her face.
She'd been
practically glowing since she and Howie got together and Katarina
couldn't help but feel a twinge of envy. It must be nice to have the
perfect life. "Hey."
Billie set the
groceries down on the ground and frowned. "Did Brian call
you?" She gasped. "Is Nick okay?"
"Oh he's
fine, the surgery was a success in reducing some of the scars at least," Katarina sighed, "I just...I just want to be with him
so badly..."
"Oh Rina," Billie sat beside her distraught sister and put
her arm over her shoulders. "Why don't you go to him then?"
"Because,"
Katarina sniffed, "he doesn't want me."
"Did he
say that?"
"He
didn't have to."
"Rina...you have to fight for what you want. You can't
just sit around here moping for the rest of your life for him. The guy
could've died the night of that bus crash but he didn't. He lived...and I
personally think that was because he was meant to meet you...and fall in love
with you."
"Right.
That's why he won't forgive me for leaving."
"Why
don't you tell him the truth?" Billie suggested, "maybe if he
knew, he wouldn't be so damn stubborn."
'"What
difference does it make now Billie?" Katarina
cried out, "he doesn't need me, he never did and I have to accept
that."
Billie
frowned. Fine. If you both are going to be so stubborn about it
then I guess I'll have to put you two together myself!
***
Nickolas,
I am happy
to say that I am in good health and happy that things have gone so well for you
since you returned to
I will be
going into Jasper to visit some friends in hopes of being able to see your T.V
debut with your friends. Please sing from the heart, darling, for I will
know if you're not! I do hope you give my best to Brian and tell him that
he and his wife are invited to join me at my home at their convenience.
Well,
although my health is quite good, my arthritis doesn't cease to bother me so I
have to cut this letter short. Take care my darling and I hope to see you
soon.
Love,
Caroline
P.S -
"Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what
you were." *
Nick sighed
and leaned back against his couch, the quote getting to him more than anything
else in Caroline's brief but enlightening letter. He really missed her
and promised himself that he would go visit her the moment he had some free
time. Yes, life was getting back to normal and first on the agenda?
Bringing back
Backstreet Boys from its long slumber.
Was the world
ready for the new Nick Carter?
Was he
ready for the world?
There was only
one way to find out. He went to the washroom and peered into the mirror,
seeing nothing but bandages. With trembling hands, he reached for the
clip, removed it, and slowly began to unravel the gauze. He closed his
eyes, afraid to see what was lying beneath. When he felt a brush of cold
air against his cheeks, he gulped. This was it.
Cautiously, he
opened his eyes...
And blinked.
Shocked he
lifted his hand to his once damaged face. It was still pretty mangled,
but the worst of it had been fixed and all Nick could see now were minor
scars. Tears flooded his eyes. This is me...this is me...
If only Rina could see me now!
His heart
deflated then. What would she think of him? Would she still love
him with his face fixed?
Did she still
love him?
Something told
him that she did...and he loved her. More than anything else in the
world.
So why is
it so hard for me to forgive her?
"Nick?"
Leighanne called out suddenly, "Howie's here!"
Nick was
relieved. He needed a distraction badly and with Howie and the rest of
the guys here, he wouldn't have to think about Katarina.
He slowly descended the stairs and nearly burst out laughing when he caught the
shocked look on his friends' faces.
"It's
like you're a whole new person!" A.J exclaimed.
"The
doctor did a great job," Kevin marveled.
"I still
have quite a few scars though...I'll never be the way I was before."
"Well, we
certainly don't care," Brian patted his shoulder, "we're just glad
you're here."
"Thank
you," Nick murmured and then he realized that there was someone in the
room that he'd never met before...but he'd seen her picture many times...
He gulped. This was definitely unexpected.
"Nick,"
Howie put his arm around her, "I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Billie
Clark."
Billie.
That was her name. "...Hi," he said warily, as though fearing
that she would treat him horribly for the things that went on with Katarina.
"Hi
Nick," she greeted and extended her hand, "it's such a pleasure to
meet you after all this time. I'm so glad you're back."
"Uh,
thank you," he replied and shook her hand, "...you...you and
your sister kinda look like each other."
"I'm sure
Katarina's much more attractive," Billie winked
at him and Nick turned a light shade of red while everyone else burst out
laughing.
After a few
moments of light bantering, everyone except Nick, Howie and Billie headed
toward the beach for some fresh air and a picnic although judging from the
grayish tint of the sky, it looked like it was going to rain.
Nick looked at
Billie for a second before clearing his throat. "How's Katarina?" he asked, trying to sound as casual as
possible, even though his heart was pounding wildly in his chest.
"She's
all right. Studying a lot..."
"Oh."
What about guys? Has she met anyone? Is there anyone she's
interested in? Or does she still think about me the way I think about
her? He sighed. Like she'd even answer those questions.
"I think
I'm going to call her right now and check up on her," Billie said and
stood, but Howie stopped her.
"Billie,
I'm sure she's fine. She told you she was going to stay home didn't
she?"
"Yes, but
ever since I found out about Kris I--"
Nick
froze. "Did you say Kris?"
Howie looked
at him oddly. "Yeah she did...why? You know who he is?"
Nick nodded
vehemently. "He lives in
"Yes, but
he can't go anywhere near us," Billie said, trying to reassure him,
"we put a restraining order against him."
Nick
frowned. The mention of that bastard's name was nagging at him for a
reason he couldn't explain, but he knew it meant trouble.
"Remember
the day before yesterday when I yelled at you not to touch me? The reason
I did that was because you said something that triggered a memory...of someone
who'd once been a very important part of my life. Kris. He's my
ex-boyfriend."
"I
reminded you of your ex? If you're trying to keep me from freaking out Rina, you're not doing a very good job..."
"Nick,
just listen please? Kris was the first guy I thought I was in love
with. He treated me like a queen, was always a gentleman and I thought
I'd never meet anyone as great as he was. I later realized that I was
totally wrong about him. One night, he'd asked me to...have sex with him
and I told him no. Since that night, he kept pressuring me and pressuring
me until finally...he lost patience and...and...he tried to force himself on
me..."
Nick
immediately felt his muscles tense. No, this guy wasn't going to sit back
because of a stupid restraining order. He knew it. He just knew it.
"Just
hold me Nick...and don't ever let me go...ever..."
"I
won't. I'll protect you with my life Rina...I
promise."
He stood and
moved toward the door.
Howie
followed. "Nick! Nick, where are you going?!"
"To
Billie
smiled. "I'm glad you came to your senses."
"It's
more than that," Nick slipped into his shoes, "something's not
right."
Now she was
frowning. "What do you mean?"
"When you
mentioned Kris...I just..." Nick paused, not quite sure how to describe
the connection that he and Rina had. "I
just got a really bad vibe..."
***
*Cherie Carter-Scott, "If Love Is A Game,
These Are The Rules"
