Chapter 60:
Reflection
Everything was falling apart and there
wasn't a damn thing AJ could do to stop it. He resignedly followed the other
four guys into the media room, taking a seat quietly as he patiently waited for
another mindless interview to begin. He had purposely chosen the darkest shades
he could find, not wanting anyone to see him. If they did, they would be
surprised to see the desperation, the despair that shone plainly in his dark
brown eyes.
The interview began and AJ hoped the
questions would be held to a minimum, he had no desire to answer the same old
questions he had heard a million times before. He scoffed under his breath as
he listened to Nick, Howie, and Kevin repeat how tight the group was, that they
were more than friends, they were like brothers, blah, blah, blah…. AJ answered
a question tossed at him with a noncommittal grunt, not caring about the
strange look the interviewer threw his way. Right now his worry lay with Brian,
who sat on the opposite side of him. Brian kept his head down until asked a
question, then answered in soft replies, all the while restlessly playing with
a pencil. From behind his glasses AJ stared frankly at him, taking his time to
study him thoroughly.
Last week had been pure hell, a total of
six shows in seven days, and with every show their relationship with Brian had
deteriorated further, to the point where AJ seriously considered if it was a
mistake in forcing him to stay with the group. Any resemblance of warmth
towards Brian was held strictly on stage for the fans; once they exited the
arena it became a war zone. No one was taking prisoners, each doing their best
to destroy with harsh looks and even harsher words. Brian took their shots with
comebacks of his own, often more bitter than what he received. Soon however, he
ceased to answer back. He withdrew into a stony silence, making his presence
scarce, gone for long stretches at a time with Xavier, only to reappear just
before showtime. What Brian did during those long hours was anybody's guess,
but his absence was the only thing that kept things sane.
AJ tore away from his thoughts long enough
to listen to Brian's explanation of his sudden weight loss. He had begun to
recently wear thick sweaters along with heavy leather coats, the size of his
clothing trying to add deceptive bulk to his frame. Their fans were far from
stupid and it did not go unnoticed on the various internet websites regarding
Brian's appearance. It was only natural for the interviewer to ask, since it
was so obvious. Interested, AJ strained to catch what Brian would say, only to
hear Brian's standard answer about a "new look," and "wanting to
get in better shape."
He spared a quick glance at Nick who was
rolling his eyes dramatically. He bit his lip, pissed at Nick's lack of
control, but knew better than to call him on it; Nick was spoiling for a fight
and it wasn't hard to see how the emotional and mental turmoil was taking a
toll on him.
AJ listened offhandedly as the interview
came to a close, glad to be out of there. Tonight was their final show before
taking a hiatus and the lure of flying back home and zoning out for a week was
sounding more and more like pure heaven to him. The interview finally over, AJ
sat up and stretched, giving Howie a "lets go" nod. In mid-yawn, he
watched as Xavier came over to slap his massive hands down on Brian's shoulders,
shaking him almost affectionately as a signal to get up and leave. Brian
stiffened for only a fraction of a moment, but AJ caught it and the look of
disgust that flickered across Brian's face. Surprised, AJ experienced a flash
of deja vu. He thought hard for a moment, trying to
place where he had witnessed something similar, then shrugged, irritated at
being unable to pinpoint it.
He watched as the two left together,
conceding to the fact that as much as he disliked Xavier, the bodyguard had
done a good job of keeping Brian under control and out of sight. He just hoped
the bodyguard would be as successful for the second half of their tour. Howie
slapped AJ gently on the arm, breaking him out of his reverie, indicating it
was time to go. AJ nodded and followed him out.
***
