Chapter 32

Tara sat in the van as it sped towards the hotel in LA, holding Nick's hand tight. "I want to go home at some point," she said softly, biting her lip as they passed her exit.

"I'm not quite sure if that's a good idea," Kevin said quickly, turning around to look at her. "Have you gotten any more phone calls?"

"She got one this morning," Nick answered for her, frowning deeply. "It's definitely not safe for you to go home," he told her, shaking his head.

"I don't see why it matters," she argued. "He's gotten to you guys absolutely everywhere, there's no reason to think he wouldn't be able to do the same for me."

"It's different now, Jessica will be staying at home…"

"So you think," Tara interrupted. "We don't know that for sure."

"We don't know anything for sure," Kevin said, looking at Tara. "But we're better off safe than sorry."

"I want to see Andy."

"Now THAT's not a good idea," it was Kevin's turn to frown. "Not when he could be in with Jess on this."

"He's not, that's insane! I need to talk to him, make sure he's ok! If the FBI did to him what Palmer did to me, I don't know what kind of shape he's in. He really loves you guys."

"What did Palmer do to you?" AJ asked, looking at her closely. "I know she asked you about if you were involved with this…"

"Palmer STILL thinks Tara's involved with this," Nick rolled his eyes. "A whole lot of fucking help she's doing."

"Hey, we're doing quite fine on our own now," Howie said cheerfully. Over the last 24 hours the group truly had made some progress on their 'investigation' into the threats and attacks on them. Tara had begun hacking the proxy IP that Tommy had given her weeks ago, and was pretty sure she would have a location on the computer with another few hours of work. AJ and Howie had been quizzing the tour staff about Jessica, and had found out that her grudge against the boys was fairly well-known among the staffers, to the point that many expressed their surprise that she had been included on this tour. Nick had spent most of his time in the Backstreet Boys chatroom, talking to the girls online and figuring out whether or not any of them had disappeared as of late…he was still terrified that a fan had been hurt in all of this mess. He had been extremely relieved to learn that the answer to that question had been no.

"So what did she do?" AJ asked again.

"She was just really cruel," Tara made a face. "It was awful."

"Beyond awful, she had Tara near hysterical," Nick corrected her, nodding when AJ's eyes widened in surprise.

"How? What'd she do?"

"It's not important," Tara sighed. "Let's just say that the FBI and delicacy are at two different ends of the spectrum."

"Bitch," Nick muttered.

Tara gave a start when her cell phone began to ring, and she held it in her hands for a moment, before flipping it open, all eyes in the van on her. "Hello?"

"Tara? That you?"

Tara's eyes widened in surprise. "It's not him," she said quickly, before talking into the phone. "Tommy?"

"Hey! How you been?" He asked, sounding concerned. "You disappeared, you know? I've been worried, with you getting axed and all, wanted to make sure you didn't go off the deep end or nothing."

"I'm fine. I have no idea what I'm going to do for a job, but I'm surviving, at least," she said with a shrug. "How are you? How's things at work?"

"Kinda nuts, this Backstreet stalker dude has everyone up in arms over here. The Feds grabbed all of our logs, searched our cubes, it's crazy."

"Searched your cubes?" Tara asked in astonishment. "Why?"

"They thought one of us might be involved, although I have no CLUE why. Oh! That reminds me, I think you did pack some of my stuff when you packed up yours. I miss my toys, you know," he said with a soft laugh.

"I'll go through it, see what I have that's yours."

"Who knows, maybe you accidentally packed the stalker dude in there too," he joked.

Tara frowned, and stared out the window for a moment, before replying, "that's a strange thing to say."

"What can I say, I'm having my doubts that he's real. I mean, they can't seem to find shit, it's pretty funny. Or maybe the FBI's just that incompetent."

"I think they're just that incompetent."

Nick looked at her curiously, and mouthed "who?"

"The FBI," she explained.

"Who's that?" Tommy asked.

"Friend."

"Oooh, lose the job, get a boyfriend?"

Tara laughed, "it didn't quite work that way, no."

"Well, look, don't be a stranger, ok? I miss seeing you every day."

"I miss you too."

"Talk to you soon?"

"Yeah, I'll call you as soon as I go through my stuff."

"Ok. Take care, babe."

"Talk to you later, Tommy."

********************************************************************

"How's it coming?"

Tara jumped at the sound of Nick's voice, surprised by his presence. "Damn, Nick, you could be louder, you know," she grumbled, turning around on her chair to face him.

"Just a little deep in concentration, are you?" Nick walked to her and gave her a kiss, before plopping down on the couch.

"Yes. Very," Tara replied. She had spent the night continuing to fight her way through the proxy, while the guys did their concert. "How was the show?"

"Not bad, all things considered," Nick shrugged. "Brian's still kind of a mess. They're all coming over once they drop their stuff off in their rooms to hang for a bit."

"You're all still kind of a mess," Tara remarked, getting up and joining Nick on the couch. "How are you doing?"

"Been better," he admitted, smiling lightly when she ran her hand along his cheek. "I am glad you're here though."

"I do want to go home…."

"I wish you'd stop saying that!" Nick said harshly, grabbing her hand and yanking her towards him. "Why don't you get that there could be someone at your apartment who wants to kill you?"

"I get that!" Tara argued.

"Then why are you so determined to go?"

"Because this guy could get me just as well here as he could at home!" She said angrily. "Because Tommy said there could be something from work that could be a hint about this guy, the FBI went through all of the cubicles, they think there's something there!"

"What do you mean, something from work?" Nick frowned. "You can't go to work anymore…"

"No, but I packed up everything I had there in my cubicle, probably including a lot of stuff that wasn't really mine. I want to see what I brought home."

"Tara, I don't want you getting hurt," Nick said softly, biting his lip. "I don't know what I'd do."

"I'm not going to get hurt…"

"You don't know that!" He shouted, his eyes growing bright. "I swear to god Tara, I couldn't take it. Not with everything that's happened, I couldn't handle it, not falling in love and losing it all because of something stupid I did three fucking years ago!"

"Nothing's going to happen!"

"What stupid thing did you do three years ago?" Kevin's voice broke into their argument like a knife.

Nick jumped up, turning to look at Kevin standing in the doorway. "Ever heard of knocking?"

"What did you do three years ago, Nick?" He repeated, walking into the room and crossing his arms. "Nick?" He turned to look as AJ, Howie and Brian all shuffled into the room, before returning his glare to Nick.

"Gayle," Nick shrugged nonchalantly. "You know."

"No, I don't know," Kevin shook his head. "Sure sounded to me like you were hinting at something other than just a relationship gone sour."

"It's nothing," he shrugged again.

"Nick, you need to tell them," Tara said softly.

"Tell us what?" AJ asked, frowning at the tension between Kevin and Nick. "What's going on?"

"I'm going to go into the other room and order some coffee. Anyone want anything?" Tara asked, looking around the room. When nobody replied, she left the room, figuring the guys could use some time alone. She also really did desperately need coffee, she was going to have a long night ahead of her if she intended to ever finish hacking that proxy.

"What's up, Nick?" Brian asked, taking the seat vacated by Tara on the couch.

"I think Nick has something to tell us," Kevin's eyes narrowed as he continued to stare at Nick.

"Hey, take it easy on Nicky," Howie said, looking back and forth from Nick to Kevin. "He's just starting to…"

"Was your mother right, Nick? Did you cause this?" Kevin interrupted Howie, not even hearing his words.

"Goddamn, Kevin, that was uncalled for!" Brian's mouth dropped open at his cousin's accusation, and he touched Nick's shoulder gently, frowning when the younger man flinched. "Nick, this isn't your fault."

"Yes, it is," Nick said softly, pulling away from Brian. "All of this is my fault."

"What, because you dated some wacko guy once? Not your fault you have lousy taste in men," AJ snickered. "Better stick to girls from now on, you seem to have better taste there."

"Well, he does now," Brian added with a wry smile.

"Stop joking around, I'm not kidding," Nick sighed. "Kevin's right, I caused this."

"How?"

"When Gayle and I broke up," Nick paused, and took a deep breath. "We didn't just break up. We fought. A lot."

"So? Lots of couples fight when they break up, Nicky, that's no big deal," Howie shrugged. "That's understandable."

"I kind of," Nick bit his lip, and frowned. "I beat the shit out of him."

AJ laughed, "Nick, you couldn't beat the shit out of anyone."

"Explain," Kevin said firmly, still glaring at Nick.

"I told you! I beat the shit out of him!" Nick looked at Kevin, his eyes narrowed. "What more do you want from me?"

"Define 'the shit," Kevin shot back. "I've been on the receiving end of your swings, Nick, they're not gonna do that much damage."

"Yeah, well, I never went off on you the way I did on him," Nick replied, running his hand through his hair. "I never really stuck around to find out what kind of damage I'd done to him, but, I know he was in pretty bad shape."

"Like what? Broken nose? Broken ribs? What did you do that was so awful?" Kevin asked, frowning when Nick didn't reply. "Look, you don't go around terrorizing people because someone beat you up once!"

"I had a tire iron," Nick mumbled, staring at the floor in front of him.

Kevin's eyes widened, and his mouth dropped open. "What?"

"I didn't hit him with my fists, ok? I had a fucking tire iron, and I hit him with THAT," Nick said angrily, his eyes filling with tears. "It was in the trunk of my car, I grabbed it when he kept fighting me off. The second I hit him with that he went down, and I just kept hitting him…."

"Oh god, Nicky," Brian breathed, staring at his friend in horror. "What did you do to this guy?"

"As I said. I didn't stick around to find out," Nick replied, hanging his head. "He was unconscious when I left. That was the last time I saw him."

"You could have killed him!"

"Well, clearly I didn't," Nick looked up when Tara walked back into the room, a sad expression on his face. "I told them."

"Good," she said softly.

"A tire iron, Nick?" Howie repeated in amazement. "How could you?"

"What?" Tara asked, looking at Nick, confused. "What did you tell them?"

"I kinda left that out when I told you," he sighed, and looked at her sadly. "That's why he was in such bad shape."

"Oh," Tara continued to stare at Nick, not knowing what to say. That was one thing she hadn't expected to hear. A fist fight was one thing, but…a tire iron? She jumped at the knock on the door, and scrambled to get it, "that's my coffee."

"I wonder if we would have been better off if he had died," Nick sighed, and slumped down in the couch. "At least then he wouldn't be torturing us now…"

"Yeah, instead you'd be in prison for life, wouldn't that be good," AJ rolled his eyes. "Jesus, Nick, a fucking tire iron?"

"Yes! A fucking tire iron! Ok?" Nick stood up, and looked at the stunned faces in the room, shaking his head. "I am SO goddamn sorry I ever did it, but jesus, I didn't know what else to do at the time. He wouldn't shut up!"

"So you shut him up but good," Kevin said angrily. "And now we're all paying for it."

"Goddammit," Nick grumbled, walking to where Tara was sitting at the table and sitting across from her. "You know I'm not really like that, right?"

"I do, Nick, but, god," she sighed, and stirred her coffee. "A tire iron?"

"Can you all please stop repeating that?"

"It's just," she picked up the sugar canister and poured some into her coffee, sighing heavily. "That's pretty bad, you know?" She set the sugar back down in front of her, frowning at Nick.

"Yes, I know!"

"That's all…." Her words trailed off when she saw something bubbling in the sugar, and she leaned forward, her eyes narrowing as she looked at it closely. She reached out to pick it up again, frowning at the bubbles. "What the…."

Tara was never able to finish her sentence, as the sugar canister exploded, sending thick pieces of glass flying around the room. The majority of the glass hit her square in the head, sending her flying to the floor amid the sound of screams.

"Oh god!" Nick gasped in horror, dropping to his knees next to Tara. "Baby? Are you ok?"

"What the hell was that?" One of the rent-a-cops stuck his head in the room, his eyes widening when he saw Tara unconscious on the floor. "Calling an ambulance now."

"Good!" Kevin jumped up and ran to Nick's side, bending down to look at Tara. "She's breathing, Nicky, that's something…"

"She's bleeding, though, oh god, all over," Nick's eyes filled with tears, and he pulled her into his arms, hugging her. "What was that, oh god, oh god," he repeated, rocking back and forth.

"You're bleeding too, Nick, are you ok?" Howie asked, staring at Nick in horror. The blonde's hands were covered with blood, as was Tara's face, and one of her hands.

"Tara, talk to me," Nick touched her face, totally oblivious to the glass imbedded in his hands.

"The sugar thing exploded," AJ said, looking at the metal bottom still sitting on the table. "Dunno how…"

"I didn't mean to do this, not ever, please, I swear I'll never get in another fight as long as I live, just please be ok," Nick began to cry, and he buried his face in Tara's neck, holding her tight.

"The ambulance will be here in a minute, Nick," Kevin told him firmly. "She'll be all right."

"You don't know that!" Nick shouted, tears running down his face as he stared at Tara. "What have I done?"

Brian's face was completely white, and he hadn't moved from his spot on the couch, where he sat, trembling. "Nicky, you're bleeding," he said in a shaky voice.

"So's she!"

"Brian? Are YOU ok?" AJ asked, noticing the way Brian was acting.

Brian nodded slowly, his eyes fixed on Nick. "Something just exploded," he said in a daze.

"Yeah, the sugar thing."

"One minute everything was fine, then just…bang."

"Yeah. Bang."

"She's right. She wasn't safe anywhere," Nick groaned when he tried to pull Tara onto his lap, finally noticing the glass in his hands when pain shot through them. "Oh shit."

"Nick, you need to calm down," Kevin said softly, looking at Nick closely. "The ambulance will be here soon."

"It better be," Nick replied, looking up at Kevin through tears. "I need her, Kevin, I can't lose her over something stupid I did!"

"You won't, Nick," he reassured the shaking blonde, touching his shoulder. "Calm down."

"I can't, I can't," Nick bent down to kiss Tara's forehead, ignoring the lightheadness he felt from his movements. "I love you, Tara, you have to be ok."

"She will be, Nick."

"So where's that fucking ambulance?" He shouted, sitting up straight and looking wildly around the room. "WHERE?"

"Nick, you were hurt too, you gotta calm down," Kevin tried, but Nick wasn't hearing it.

"TARA!" Nick screamed, the shaking getting worse as he continued to rock back and forth with her. "Baby, please wake up!"

"Nick!" Kevin's eyes widened when he saw Nick's movements falter, and he reached out to grab him. "Maybe you should lie down?"

"No! I'm, I'm," Nick's eyelids fluttered, and he looked at Kevin in confusion for a moment. "Fine," he said weakly.

"You're not fine, calm down!"

"Just need an ambulance," Nick's voice became soft, and his head drooped as he stared at Tara. "Baby? Wake up?" He asked pitifully, a sob catching the words in his throat. "Please?"

"Where is the ambulance?" Kevin got up and shouted into the hall, frowning when he was only told it would be there soon. "Well, hurry it up!" He barked, returning to find Nick slumped over Tara, his head on her chest. "What happened?" He stared at AJ, who was rubbing Nick's back, trying to get a reaction from him.

"He just keeled over," AJ said, his eyes wide with panic. "Passed out right on top of her."

"Oh god," Kevin gasped, biting his lip as he looked around the room.

Howie walked over to Nick, shaking his head. "Not to sound repetitive or anything, but, god, where IS that ambulance?"

***

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