Part 2

"You know, I think this is tougher on Nick than he lets on," Kevin was telling Brian the next day. Their first full day of work on the island.

Bri looked at him. "Yeah? Really? He tell you something?"

"Yes and no. He told me something in that Nick way. By telling me and not really telling me, you know?"

Brian smiled. He knew. Nick had a bad way of speaking in half-sentences when things bugged him. He couldn't even think of how many times he had to crack his secrets open like an oyster.

The cousins had gone into the jungle to hunt for the precious tapioca roots and to see what else it had to offer. After just a day, they were sick of rice already. Kevin knew he could manage eating anything because he just wasn't one to complain. But AJ had already starting whining, and it wouldn't be long before the others followed. He figured they'd better start finding some creative ways to cook that rice.

Brian slapped a mosquito off his shoulder. "Is it bad? Like is he homesick? Missing Mandy? Or is just like regular complaining?"

Kevin bent down to dig through the underbrush for roots. "Not sure. He's worried about how this can all affect us mentally. Like say if one of us gets voted off, will he hate the rest of us? Will he feel betrayed? Stuff like that?"

Brian took the roots Kevin was handing him and tucked them into the empty backpack they had taken along. "Well, I think we all know it's not personal, right? I mean, if I get voted off, I'm not going to mad. It's just part of the game. A game we decided to play. If we lose, someone has to go."

"I know," Kevin said taking a turn toward their camp. "That's how I feel too. But right now, we're just talking. Right now, we're all still here. What about when it's our turn?"

"Maybe we won't get a turn," Brian said climbing up to catch up with him. "Maybe we'll win everything."

"Sure cuz," Kevin chuckled. "That's what I'm hoping for too, but we can't rely on that. Odds are, we're going to lose, at least at some point. Let's just be prepared, mentally, I mean."

Brian shrugged. He had a point. But Brian never focused on losing. His strategy was always to believe that losing wasn't an option. He fought for everything he wanted head-on, full force, no holds barred. It was what had gotten him as far as he was in life.

"We won't lose," he said as their campsite came into view. "We won't."

AJ, Howie and Nick was struggling to piece together what was left over of their hut into something sturdier. Something that might survive another storm.

"Hi, ho! Hi, HO! Hi, ho! Hi, HO!" Brian sang to them as they approached. "Hi, ho! Hi, ho! It's off to work we go," he whistled the rest of the song from Snow White for them.

Kevin chuckled. "You guys need help?"

"... this way, Howie," Nick was saying. "Hold it steady, Bone."

AJ was rolling his eyes. "I'll hold you steady," he muttered.

"Shit! Shit! Ouch!" Howie cried.

They dropped everything. Brian even stopped singing.

"What's wrong? What happened?" Kevin asked immediately at his side. "Did you hurt yourself?"

"It was Nick," AJ said right away. "He doesn't know what he's doing."

"What? I didn't--!"

"It wasn't Nick," Howie said, his teeth clenched. He was hugging his right shoulder gingerly. "I think I hurt my shoulder yesterday on the monkey bars."

"What? Yesterday? Why didn't you say anything?" Kevin asked as he gently pulled Howie's hand away. "Let me see. How much movement do you have? It's not dislocated."

The other three watched apprehensively as Kevin helped Howie determine how much he could move his shoulder without yelping out in pain. It wasn't much.

"You must have pulled a muscle," Kevin said. "There's not much you can do but rest it out. You shouldn't even be doing this."

"I'm okay, Kev. See?" Howie tried moving his shoulder only to end up crying out in pain again.

"See my ass," Kevin muttered. "Go sit down. I'm gonna see if we can get you a sling or something. It's going to hurt for a couple of days."

"Days?" Howie asked worried. "What if we have another challenge? What if I'm not okay?

"We'll get to that when we do," Kevin said. He grabbed one of his T-shirts and ripped it to make a sling to cradle Howie's shoulder in a comfortable position. "You probably hurt it yesterday and re-injured it just now. You need to be careful. We can't afford injuries. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I know we can't afford injuries," Howie said. "I was hoping that I could sleep it off."

He shook his head. "It's okay, bro. Don't worry. Don't even think about the challenge just now. Worry about making your shoulder okay."

Brian had gone to help Nick and AJ finish putting together their shelter. It was more open and smaller, closer to the ground than their original hut.

"We're not going to make it out here during the storms anyway," Nick shrugged. "We'll just sleep out on regular nights."

"Regular night? You mean you've been having irregular nights?" Brian asked in a bright tone. "You know what's good for irregular nights? Metamucil. It's got fiber."

Nick chuckled. Brian turned everything into a joke. "I meant the nights that it doesn't rain."

"Oh," Brian nodded. "I thought you were constipated."

"Ew," AJ gagged.

"Shut up," Nick told him looking around. The ocean was calm, and he had had something on his mind all morning. "I wanna go fishing. Who wants to build a raft?"

"Take a break, Nicky," AJ said. "You're gonna work yourself to death out here. Your body's not used to it."

"I'm serious," Nick said. "I bet we could fish out there. Wouldn't it be better than eating rice?"

"Or rats," Brian added.

"I'll help, Frack," Kevin said finally satisfied enough with Howie's condition to leave him. "Let's do it."

"Cool," Nick said and started back to where he had spotted part of their hut. Some of the drift wood was still useable. He knew there was enough bamboo around to make something sturdy and that floated well.

"Me too!" Brian yelled after them. "I'm coming!"

"You okay, 'D?" AJ asked sitting down next to him.

"Yeah," Howie shook his head. "I feel stupid, Bone. I'm afraid to let you guys down if I can't use my shoulder."

"Don't worry about that. We don't even know what we're doing yet--."

"Yeah, but if I'm useless, then we're even with those guys again. What good will winning yesterday be?"

AJ shook his head assuredly. "We don't know what we're doing. Don't worry. Besides, those guys are no match for the four of us. You know that."

"I know," he muttered. "But I don't want to bring us down. I don't--."

"You won't," AJ interrupted with more force. "It's not gonna happen. Forget it. Okay? Okay?"

Howie finally shook his head. "Yeah. Okay."

--

Things felt so different, Justin was thinking. With just one of them gone, it felt like everything had changed. He'd barely slept the night before wondering where Joey was, what he was doing, what he was thinking. That's what bugged him the most.

He had been awake all night and had even watched the sunrise. But whenever any of the other guys came around to check on him, he'd close his eyes to pretend he was asleep. He really didn't feel like talking to them. He knew that they'd know right away that he still wasn't over the damn tribal council. It was always so difficult for him to hide his emotions. So he just pretended to be asleep while they stepped over him and whispered at each other. It was better than having them sit down and have a talk with him. He really didn't feel like being looked at like the helpless little brother.

"Guys! Guys!" Lance was yelling. "Guys!"

"Shh," JC scolded, but Justin finally turned around.

"What?" he asked wiping his eyes. "What's going on?"

"We got a message," Lance said holding out a rolled piece of paper at them. "Let's see what it says."

Justin watched Lance anxiously as Lance silently read the note.

"No, there isn't a group of people waiting to hear what's in the note or anything," Justin said sarcastically, annoyed that Lance was taking so long to let them know what they're next challenge was.

This one was for Joey.

Lance looked up at Justin just as annoyed but didn't say anything. He figured he was just in a bad mood because Joey had to leave. He hadn't really said much since the night before.

"Laaaaaaaance!"

Okay, now Lance was annoyed.

"It says, 'If Justin continues to whine, your next challenge will be who can last the longest on not dumping his whiny butt into the ocean'."

Justin crossed his arms in front of him tightly. He wasn't in the mood to joke around.

"Listen, Lance-" Justin began.

"Don't 'listen, Lance' me!"

"Guys," JC interrupted. "Stop it. We're all on edge because Joey's gone, but we can't start splitting up now. We need to win this one for Joey," JC said, taking the note from Lance.

Lance and Justin grumbled in agreement. As usual, JC was right.

"It says we have to meet the Backstreet Boys here," JC said, pointing to the circle on the note. "It tells us which direction to walk, and it says that we'll meet up with the Backstreet Boys at the desired spot. A table will be set up."

"What's the challenge?" Chris asked. "Who can eat all the food on the table first?"

Chris asked, hopefully. He didn't know about the rest of the guys, but if he had to eat rice one more time, he would start going senile. Who knew what would happen then? I'll probably start singing Backstreet Boys songs, Chris thought ruefully.

"I want it that way..." Chris sang softly.

"What?" Lance asked, turning to look at Chris strangely.

"Nothing," Chris smiled innocently.

JC ignored Chris. Who knew what that boy was thinking half the time? "It says that when we put our note together with Backstreet's note it'll tell us what our next challenge is."

Lance scrunched up his face. "Whatever it is," Lance said, reading the note over JC's shoulder, "only one of us is allowed to do it."

"What?" Justin asked, taking the note from JC.

Sure enough, the note had the simple instructions that JC had explained along with a half written message that read:

There will be

Pick one person

First to finish

"Is this an immunity challenge?" JC asked. He hadn't had a chance to finish reading the note.

"Yeah, it is," Justin said surprised. "Can you believe that? Two immunity challenges back to back? They don't regularly do that on the show, do they?"

"I don't have a clue," Chris said. "I've never watched the show."

"Neither have I," Lance said. Lance was actually getting nervous. They couldn't lose. If they lost someone else, they would completely lose whatever group morale they had left.

"Guys, let's go," JC said, stuffing the note into his pocket. "We have a challenge to win."

--

"Only one of us competes?" Kevin asked, walking with the guys to their next challenge.

"Yeah," Nick said, brushing the sweat off of his forehead. "Maybe it's because we have five and they have four?"

"No, that doesn't make sense," Brian said. "So the rest of the challenges will just be one person against the other? That doesn't sound right."

"Or maybe they think the other team will lose and it'll end up even again," Howie said, hoping that if that's what they thought, that they were wrong. He didn't want to have to vote anyone out. Howie winced. The pain in his shoulder wasn't going away. It had only increased from the day before.

Kevin looked at Howie concerned. "How, you want me to tie that up a little tighter?"

"Nah, it's okay. I'm fine."

Kevin glanced at AJ to make sure he was okay. He was quiet, and that was as rare as Howie not winking. Kevin smiled. What a group they were. AJ was sulking, hating the fact that this was another immunity challenge. Kevin didn't blame him.

"Okay, so when we get there, we put our notes together and that gives us our next challenge?" Brian asked, knowing the answer. He just hated how quiet they were being.

"Yup," Nick said through his heavy breathing. They had been walking for awhile. "Our note says," Nick said, pulling it from Kevin's pocket, " ....a table with two bowls. ....from your group to compete. ....all the bugs win. Whatever that means," Nick said, handing the note back to Kevin.

"Man, I don't like the way bowls and bugs are in that note together," Brian said, showing a disgusted look.

"How do we vote on who competes?" AJ asked, speaking up for the first time.

"Rock, paper, scissors!" Nick smiled.

"Rock, paper, scissors?" Brian asked. "How old are you again, Nicky?"

"Old enough to kick your butt," Nick laughed.

"He grows a couple of inches and suddenly he thinks he's invincible," Brian smiled, shaking his head.

"Hey, look. There they are," Kevin said, pointing ahead of him.

NSYNC was already waiting at the table.

"Great," Nick said, pushing his hair off of his forehead. "Timber-flake, here we come."

Brian laughed. "Thanks, Nick."

"For what?" Nick asked, confused.

"For just being you. You and Justin give me something to look forward to everyday on this island. It can't be too boring with you two around."

"Morning, guys," JC said, meeting them halfway. He was anxious to see what their challenge was.

Brian changed his voice into what a game show host might sound like. "Okay, Vanna," Brian said, pushing Nick forward, "please solve the puzzle for us."

"Vanna?" Nick asked, looking at Brian weirdly.

"Hey, you're the closest match to her, Blondie."

JC laughed as Nick grabbed Brian into a headlock.

"Hey, did you forget that your pits stink?!" Brian yelled, scrambling out of Nick's grasp.

Brian ran behind JC. Nick would have to be crazy to try and attack someone he barely knew. Especially an NSYNC person that he barely knew.

Brian peeked from behind JC's shoulder, smiling. Nick stopped running and laughed at how ridiculous Brian could be. "Alright, Frick, you win."

JC laughed. "Alright, here's our note," JC said waving it in front of him.

Kevin stood next to JC as they matched the notes up. JC read it out loud.

"There will be a table with two bowls. Pick one person from your group to compete. First to finish all the bugs wins."

"Eeeew," Brian said. "To heck with rock, paper, scissors. Tallest one goes," Brian smiled, knowing he was the shortest.

"Aw, man," JC said, turning to let the guys know what their challenge was.

"Man, I thought being stuck on this island with Justin was bad," Nick muttered.

"Not as bad as being stuck with you, Carter."

Nick looked up slightly surprised to see Justin. The group had gone up to meet JC, Nick noticed. He hadn't even heard them coming. Nick just rolled his eyes.

"C'mon, Justin," Brian said, trying to keep them all on good terms. "Nick hasn't even said anything. Why don't you two try and act your age just for today?"

"Are you calling me immature?" Justin asked, getting attitude with Brian.

Brian turned to look at Justin. With Justin's blonde hair, blue eyes, temper, and attitude, he could've sworn he was talking to Nick. The only reason he knew he wasn't was because Justin had curly hair and Nick had a whinier voice.

How do they not get along? They're like freakin' twins.

"You're not my father," Justin turned, annoyed.

Nick got angry as it was when Justin was a pain with him, but angry was not the word to describe how Nick was feeling towards Justin being that way with Brian. He had gone right from angry to pissed off.

"Look, Justin-" Brian began.

"Bri, just leave him alone," Nick said, his angry tone apparent.

Brian turned surprised. He thought that Nick's angry tone was meant for him. Everyone stopped what they were doing to look at Nick. Brian looked up at the sun. Maybe it was the heat. Even Justin turned around, the surprise written all over his delicate features. Had

Nick just stood up for him? Against his own best friend? Justin messed with his ears.

Man, he should've brought Q-Tips. He looked back up at Nick, openmouthed.

Nick gave them his famous half smile. "Is that all it takes to get you to shut up, Justin?"

"Uh-y-yeah-uh-I guess-um-I don't...know-huh?" Justin asked, scratching his head.

Nick smiled, enjoying Justin's confusion. It was about time that someone other than him was confused. Nick walked up to Brian, trying not to laugh at Brian's open mouth and startled blue eyes.

"Bri, just leave Justin alone, okay? I mean, can we blame him? Who could possibly think straight with all that weight on their head?"

AJ was the first to start laughing. Nick had them going for awhile.

Justin immediately slit his own blue eyes. "Jerk."

"Justin, it's not nice to talk to yourself," Nick smiled.

"I am so damn SICK of you!" Justin yelled.

JC looked at Justin surprised. Justin never blew up like that.

"Okay, Timber-dork. Hold on while I find a tree so that I can cry behind, okay? Boo-fucking-hoo," Nick said, rolling his eyes.

"Jesus!" Justin yelled, annoyed.

"What? Is He here, too?" Nick asked, looking around.

"Hey," Brian said. "There's no need to take the Lord's name in vain."

"I'm sorry, O Holy One. Hold on while I do my ten Hail Mary's," Justin muttered.

He knew he had no reason to be mean to Brian, but it was too early for Nick to be bothering him already. Besides, he was still upset over Joey's absence.

"Guys, ready to begin your challenge?" Steven asked from behind them.

"How does he do that?" Chris asked. Steven always seemed to materialize when they were all ready to rip each other's eyes out.

"Have you picked who will be competing?"

They all looked at each other. No one wanted to eat worms.

"Rock, paper, scissors," they said simultaneously.

--

Chris and AJ gulped while they looked down at their bowls. This was going to be disgusting.

"Man, I had been hoping we would be eating a table full of food," Chris laughed.

"Um, we're eating alright, but this is not exactly what I was hoping for." Chris looked up at the sky, pretending to talk to God. "You think this is mighty funny, dontcha?"

AJ laughed at Chris' wackiness.

"I think He's getting back at me for that gum that I stole when I ten." Chris began to fidget. He could never sit still. It seemed as though AJ had that same problem.

"You know," Chris smiled. "We can pretend these worms are Justin and Nick."

AJ laughed. "Naw, they would still be fighting. They would be punching

themselves out of our stomachs to get to each other." AJ reached his hand out to shake Chris'. "Good luck, man."

"Good luck to you, too."

AJ looked at where Steven was. He was talking to one of the "officials". AJ cleared his throat.

"Um, hey, I'm really sorry about Joey. That had to suck."

Chris' smile disappeared. "Yeah, it did. But, with every bad comes a good. We had a good heart to heart before they announced our votes. I just hope that Joe's okay."

AJ didn't really know what to say so he was thankful that Steven had already approached them.

"Okay, guys, let me go over this with you one more time. This challenge is going to be a lot faster than the last one. There are five worms in your bowls. They are not poisonous or harmful to you in any way. They're actually really nutritious."

"Thanks, Steven. Goodness knows I wouldn't have wanted to eat them otherwise. Nutritious. Makes it all worth it now. Mmmm. I can't wait," Chris smiled.

Steven laughed, patting Chris' shoulder. "The first one to eat all five worms wins. The loser's team will meet with me at council tonight."

AJ watched the five, thick worms slide around each other. He would rather record an NSYNC song than eat those worms. And that was saying a lot.

"On your mark," Steven began, "get set....."

AJ and Chris took one last gulp.

"GO!"

The seven guys began to cheer immediately for their team member.

"Think about Joey!"

"C'mon, Aje! You can do this! You eat everything!"

Yeah, that makes me feel better, AJ thought as he grabbed two of the worms. He threw them into his mouth, the look of distaste registering clearly across his face. He almost choked them out as he thought about the little brains and eyes being chewed around in his mouth, but when the price of losing flashed across his memory, he swallowed them back, trying not to think twice about how gross what he was doing was.

Amanda will never want to kiss me again, AJ thought, reaching for the other worms.

Chris had gone for the much forward approach. He knew that after those worms had been in his mouth once, he did not want them to ever enter it again. He threw all five worms in his mouth, and chewed faster than he ever had before in his life, hoping the faster he chewed, the sooner he could eliminate this horrible situation. He swallowed down the worms before he could convince himself to spit them out. He was going to do this one for Joey.

Man, that boy better not ever try to say that I don't love him, Chris thought, allowing the last piece of chewed slime to slide down the back of his throat.

Chris immediately stood up, waving his arms around to signal he was done. He couldn't trust himself to talk.

AJ looked up disappointed. Damn. He immediately spit out the three worms left in his mouth, turning away before he threw up from the sight. Slushed worms were returned into his bowl and AJ couldn't believe that that had been in his mouth just a minute ago.

"Yeah!"

"Alright, Chris!"

"I knew that big mouth was useful for something!"

Chris ignored Justin's comment. He was just so happy that they had won and that they didn't have to vote anyone else out. He was in the center of all the boys hugs, hugging them back just as enthusiastically. The worms, the gross taste, the upset feeling in his stomach...it was all worth what he was feeling right now. They were worth it.

AJ's eyes actually watered.

"Hey, guy, it's okay," Nick said, reaching out to hug AJ first. "You did awesome. Who else would have eaten worms for their teammates?"

"Chris," AJ answered simply.

Kevin also hugged AJ. "Bone, you were awesome. I don't think I could've gotten as far as you did," Kevin said, hoping that AJ wouldn't be too down.

AJ soon found himself enveloped in his best friends' arms. They were all giving him words of encouragement, but nothing was going to make him feel better. They had lost. Because of him. And now they were going to have to-

"Backstreet," Steven said, giving them a sad smile. "Meet me tonight at tribal council."

They all heard a loud cackle come from the NSYNC huddle.

It was Justin. "You guys should have chosen Nick. With his eating record, he would have downed those worms before Chris could even--."

JC slapped a hand over his mouth and smiled apologetically. How quickly he had forgotten everything they had gone through.

"Shh," JC told him while Justin struggled to get away.

Nick barely glanced over his shoulder at them.

"Don't listen, man," AJ said. "It's my fault we lost, just mine."

"Stop worrying," Howie said with a small smile. "You guys know that this is a no-brainer. We all know who you need to vote out."

"Hell no, 'D," Kevin said immediately.

"Forget it," Brian said.

"Who?" Nick asked genuinely confused.

"Me," Howie said more softly. "I'm a liability like this. You know that."

Nick shook his head. "No, 'D."

"Look, let's just get back to our side of the island," Kevin said glancing up at the other guys, who were, of course, still celebrating. "C'mon."

"Hey," Chris ran over to Backstreet before they could leave. "You guys did good today. Good show." He put out his right hand.

Kevin immediately shook it. "Thanks. Congratulations. It was about time you guys caught a break."

He grinned. "Yeah. I think those worms did something good. I feel like stronger or something."

"I feel nauseous," AJ smiled and shook Chris' hand.

"Wait till tonight," Chris said seriously. "Tribal council's hell."

Brian, Howie, AJ, Nick and Kevin exchanged glances because there was no sarcasm in his voice.

"We have to head back," Kevin said. "Take care."

"Later," Chris said.

"Bye."

"Later, losers!!!" Justin called happily as made the "loser" gesture with his thumb and index finger and put it on his forehead. "Losers!"

"Shut up," JC told him. "Don't you remember how crappy we were feeling yesterday?"

"Yeah, and don't you remember all the times Nick Carter's rubbed everything in my face? It's about time I get something back. LOSERS!!" he yelled as loud as he could.

"We're gonna leave you here, Crunk," Lance told him. "You can stay and eat worms for your crappy attitude."

"What are you guys? On their side now?" Justin asked confused. "Don't you remember why we're here? Our pride? Our careers? Joey? We're not here to make buddies with them. Hell no."

Chris made it back to them in time to hear the last comment. "He's got a point. Those guys still hate us, even if they're civil to us."

JC shook his head. "Yeah, but remember that we're in this for ourselves. Ourselves. Humiliating them is not directly in the plan."

"What about indirectly?" Chris asked. "If it comes with the territory, we'll take it. They would."

"Let's just go," Lance said. "C'mon."

They started back to their side of the island in a better mood than they had been in all week.

"So, did those bugs taste good?" Justin asked falling back to where Chris was walking.

He had developed a habit of walking behind them. He guess it was some bizarre protective thing kicking in, and he had no clue where it had come from. Wasn't being serious JC's job?

"They tasted like chicken," he lied. "You wanna try them? I think I've seen them by our camp."

"Naw, not exactly," he said. "But sometimes, I think we'll run out of rice before all this is done."

Chris smiled. "Maybe your buddy Nick will give you another cereal bar."

Justin rolled his eyes. "I tell you he poisoned it. I felt sick just with one bite. Besides, he's not my buddy."

"Yeah obviously. But things are looking up for us, and maybe he will be put into his place after all," Chris said as he stepped over the logs and vines that littered the path back to camp. "Did you see Howie's bandaged up? I bet they'll vote him out."

"I'm hoping for Nicky-boy myself," he said as Chris smiled. "I mean, you know he's eating them to starvation. They'll vote him off just so that they get more rations."

"Justin, do you even know why you hate that guy?"

Why were they suddenly asking that so much, Justin wondered. It used to be something they just supported him in no matter what.

"Because he's a jerk. Because he stinks. Because he's fixated on making me feel stupid," Justin said suddenly hearing his own words. "Not that he can. I mean, he tries."

"Yeah," Chris said softly. In the last few days, he had realized how much they had in common with their rivals. But that didn't mean that he wasn't going to support his little brother in any grudge that he held. "That's cool. If he's really bugging you that much, we could see our way into, oh, I don't know, getting back at him."

Justin grinned. "Yeah? Really? What've you got in mind?"

"Crunk, my man, I'm sure we'll think of something. But let's keep it hush-hush. You know those two wanna be boys scouts."

Justin smiled. "Sure."

"I'm not hungry," AJ said putting his rice bowl down. "Who wants?"

Normally, they would have been on it immediately. But the guys were barely able to eat just thinking about letting someone go.

"Bone, eat," Kevin called as AJ started to get up. "You need to eat."

"I can't," AJ said and started toward the beach.

Nick bit his lower lip and looked around at the guys. Howie was trying to hold his rice bowl between his knees while he scooped out his food. He had more rice in the sand than in his mouth. This was the one thing Nick had feared more than anything. He didn't want to vote anyone out. He hated the thought of even having to consider it. These guys were his big brothers. He couldn't let go of any one of them anymore than he could let of anyone in his real family. He knew them so much better than his own siblings sometimes. They were the ones who had helped him through everything there was to go through.

He felt Kevin slap his knee.

"Stop stressing Frack and eat," he said. "Eat already because we need to get going soon."

Nick just looked at him and nodded. But he hadn't stopped stressing, and he couldn't just start eating.

"Guys," Howie began. "Guys, we need to decide what we're going to do right now. It would be so much easier if you just voted me off."

"No," Brian said.

"C'mon," Howie said. "You guys need to think practically. Really. I am a liability right now. And if I go, you'll still just be even with them. We'd still have a really good chance to win this. If we don't decide now and screw up at the council, we could lose Kev or Brian. Imagine what the rest of us would do? What would I do if we had another physical challenge? I could really hurt my shoulder then."

The scary thing was that he was making sense, Kevin thought. But he didn't even want to think about it anymore. He just didn't.

"Guys, I'm right, and you know it," Howie pressed on. "If any one of you leaves, and I am left behind, we will be no where near being even. No where."

"Shut up already, 'D," Nick said. "Shut up. Why don't we all just go home? I don't think I can vote you guys out. Hell, I'll just vote for myself."

Kevin, Howie and Brian immediately turned to him. He looked like he did when he was a kid and just didn't know what to do. It was an expression between anger, feeling cheated and lost that they had all seen so many times. The look was still right at home on his 20-year old face.

He swallowed hard as his knees danced in front of him. "Guys, this isn't worth it. It's always been us five. Always. And what's the point of doing anything if it's not?"

Kevin shook his head and softly rubbed his chin. He knew they were going to end up doing this. He knew the doubts were going to creep up on them, and they were just going to hate it.

"I just don't think I can do it," Nick said.

He sat forward and boxed Nick's knee again. "Look, we've agreed to this, and we have to do it. It's one thing for us to lose this challenge, and quite another for us to all walk away. What would that say about who we are? Forget the group, forget NSYNC, this is about us. We are going to do this. And we knew coming in that we might not finish together. If we don't finish together, we finish for each other."

"Yeah Nicky," Howie said. "Maybe you haven't realized it, but you've taken charge these last couple of years. Think about all the cool things you've done like the comic book and helping with Larger than Life. Those were your ideas. Ideas that you didn't even have a couple of years ago." Howie smiled. "You can't freak on this now because we need you to have your head on, to think straight. We've always known that Kevin is the leader. No argument there. But if you help take the lead, if you're strong too, we're invincible as a group."

Nick continued to chew on his lip as Howie spoke. He had always leaned on them, and the idea of them leaning on him was surprising and confusing.

"It's true," Brian said. "We can mess up as individuals, but if we're strong as a group we'll make it through everything. This will be a piece of cake."

Kevin sat forward and looked at Nick. All his life he had been this little kid. This silly kid. This scared kid. This annoying kid. This helpless kid, but a kid nonetheless.

"It's true Frack," Kevin said seriously. It was so seriously, that his tone made Nick raise his eyes to him. "You've been the one figuring out how to make the shelter, the raft, all that stuff. If you don't keep your head together, we won't make it. Jay's not doing so hot since we lost, and Howie's hurt. We have to stick together. We're not going to walk away. That is not an option."

"I know," Nick said looking back down at the grains of rice at Howie's feet. "But this is going to suck so much."

Kevin nodded. "Yeah, it is. But we're not going to leave this island until we've won."

"Besides," Brian sighed. "If we leave you won't be able to get back at Justin. Think about that, Nicky."

Nick smiled, but inside he knew getting back at him wasn't worth what he was going to have to do. "I don't care that much about that. I'm on this team, remember?"

Kevin laughed. That had been his line. "Yeah, but we'd better get going."

"I'll go get Jay," Howie said. "Hang on."

AJ was sitting on some rocks all by himself watching the waves crash in around him and on the beach. This was his fault. This was his crazy, dumb, half-assed idea.

"Why the hell didn't anyone even try to talk me out of this?" he asked Howie as he saw him approach. "Why'd you let me go off half-cocked like that?"

Howie shook his head. "It was a good idea at the time. And it's still a good idea. We just didn't really consider the possibility that we'd be here. That we'd lose."

"That's a load of crap. You guys always call me on my shit. Why on Earth did you follow me this time?"

"It's a good idea, Bone," Howie repeated then chuckled. "We just never thought we'd lose. Maybe we're not used to it. Ever since we got our lives in order and out of Lou Pearlman's hands, things have been looking up. And they still are."

AJ shook his head and looked into the ocean. Who the hell was he going to vote out? Himself? The guys would kill him. This had been his idea.

"AJ, you need to do me a favor," Howie said.

"Sure, bro. Anything, anytime, anywhere."

Howie chuckled again. "Um, vote me off."

"What? 'D! No."

"Aje, you have to. You have to. I mean, the guys don't really get it, but it'll be all even with me gone. With anyone else gone, it won't. We'll be at a disadvantage. I don't want us to lose. I don't want to break up."

"Me either, 'D. But you're my best friend, and I--."

"Exactly," Howie said. "That's exactly why I'm asking you to do this. I know that you'll do whatever I ask. That's what I'm asking."

AJ started to say something, but Howie had him there. He had never refused his best friend anything.

In the distance he could see that Nick, Brian and Kevin were standing up and getting ready to go.

"C'mon," was all Howie said.

--

"... fire represents life. While you are on the island, you'll come to tribal council and light your torch," Steven was going through the speech while the guys lit their torches.

Nick's stomach felt so heavy as he took his place between Kevin and Howie. He could have sworn he was going to throw up rice all over the place.

"... you'll see Joey's torch. We extinguished it when he left the island."

There sat Joey's lifeless torch. It made Nick's stomach clamp up even more.

"Everyone will get a secret vote," Steven was explaining. "After I will tally the votes. NSYNC found that they needed a moment alone. You guys feel that way as well?"

Kevin cleared his throat. "Yes."

"Okay. You have five minutes, and then it's time to vote."

"Kev, we've had lots of time alone," Howie said adjusting his shoulder. "We all know what we gotta do."

"Yeah," Brian said reading his cousin's mind. "Pray. Hands, guys."

Nick wasn't sure he actually heard the prayers. Brian said something about making the right choice, keeping everyone healthy and united. He just muttered "Amen" when everyone else did. It had been a long time since he had been that distracted during a prayer. He just had too much to think about. Howie was right about things being more even with him out of the picture. But Nick thought the guilt would just eat him alive. Maybe he would vote for himself just to avoid any guilt at all. But if he ended up being voted at out and leaving the team crippled, he'd feel even worse.

He glanced over at Kevin wishing for a sign. That's where he had always looked for answers, but this time, there were none. Kevin looked as confused as he felt. Well, that was a first.

Brian?

He looked like he was still praying, eyes closed, face forward.

Nick just wished someone would tell him what to do.

"You guys ready?" Steven asked reappearing. "Howie, you go first."

--

"What are those guys doing?" JC squinted against the darkness like it could help. For the life of him, he had no clue what Justin and Chris were chasing.

"Catching a rat," Lance filled in for him.

"What?" JC asked in shock. "They're what?"

Lance shrugged. "I don't know why, but they're trying to catch a rat."

"They're not going to eat it, are they?"

"Who knows? Everything can happen when those two get together."

That was true enough. The oldest and the youngest members of their group doing something together equaled mischief. He knew they were hungry, but he didn't think they were ready to eat rats.

Just as that thought struck him, he saw Justin pounce on something and come up victorious. Oh God.

"Got it!!!" Justin cheered. "Hurry up Chris!!"

Chris seemed to hold out a backpack for Justin to stick the rat into.

"Pet maybe?" JC asked.

Lance just shook his head again. "Here they come."

They looked like triumphant hunters with their rat in the backpack. JC could hear it scratching around in there.

"What are you two going to do with that?"

Justin giggled. "Put it in Nick's boxers." Then he stopped and made a face. "Wait a second.... Ew!!!"

"That's animal abuse, isn't it?" Chris said. "Besides, what do you even know about Nick Carter's underwear?"

Justin turned a bit pink. "I don't... I was just.. I--."

Chris cut him off. "Forget it! We actually have another plan for it."

"And what's that?" JC asked trying not to smile.

"We're going to teach it our dance steps and let it take Joey's place? How 'bout them apples?" Chris said with a smile.

They all cracked up.

Justin opened his backpack and peered inside with one eye. "Hey little Joey. Hey Rat Boy Fatone!"

"Justin," JC scolded.

"Well, he is a rat," Justin pointed it out. "And he is a boy, I think. He's rat boy."

"Now, what are you really doing with that rat?" Lance asked. "Truly?"

"Keeping it," Chris said taking the backpack out of Justin's hands. "If we run out of food, I don't want you guys to get any ideas and start doing like in that movie. The one about those soccer players that crash in the Andes. Then they get all gross and eat each other."

"Shut up," Justin said. "Gimmie back Joey."

"No," Chris said. "I'm keeping the rat, and don't call it Joey anymore. It's not a pet."

JC shook his head and Lance just stepped back.

"Whatever it is, keep it away from me."

--

Howie sure came back fast.

"Do the right thing, guys," he said as he sat back down next to Nick.

"Nick, go on," Steven had to prod because Nick just sat there frozen.

Kevin nudged him, and he finally stood. He swallowed hard, and headed to the back.

Kevin, AJ and Brian followed after him.

"I'll tally the votes," Steven said.

AJ glued his gaze to his feet. He didn't want to know who was leaving. Worse yet, he didn't want to look at him, to see his face. It would have been so much easier if he hadn't had to promise.

"First vote is for Howie."

Howie smiled at Steven because he wanted to believe that the guys had done what he had asked.

"Next vote is for," Steven unfolded the paper. "Howie."

"Sorry," Nick whispered to him recognizing his own handwriting. He felt his face flash hot and turn red.

"It's okay. It's what I asked you to do. Don't say sorry," Howie smiled at him brightly.

"Next vote is for Howie," Steven showed the sheet of paper to the group. It was Howie's own writing with the little face in his signature.

The guys actually laughed when they realized he had voted for himself.

Steven shot them a surprised look. They had been so serious.

"The remaining votes are irrelevant," he told them.

Howie smiled and hugged Nick and Kevin at the same time. He could only use one arm, but he held on to them as tightly as he could.

"Sorry," Nick muttered again. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Howie said with a grin. "Really."

He let go and pulled Brian into a hug next. "Take care of these guys, Rok. You're going to have to keep the peace now."

Brian rolled his eyes but smiled. "Wish me luck."

"Take care, Bone," Howie said when he hugged his best friend. "Keep your nose clean."

"Yeah," AJ said quietly. "Take care of that shoulder."

"Howie, bring me your torch," Steven said.

"Later, 'D," Kevin called.

"Take care," Brian said.

"Love you man," AJ called.

Howie smiled as he held out his torch for Steven to snuff out.

"I love you guys too. But you'd better kick butt because I don't want to break up," he said. "You guys be strong. Hear that Nick?"

Nick finally looked up and smiled. "Yeah. I hear you, man."

Kevin threw his arm around the kid who would always be a kid in his eyes.

"We'll be strong," he called as Howie started back. "Take care!"

***

ß Back | Next à