Too Perfect
I
sat in bed staring up in the dark at the ceiling. Sleep would not
come. Then again how could it? My life was in shambles. Brian
was in the hospital hooked up to more machines than imaginable. He had
barely escaped death. Had the police come several hours later he would
have been gone. Now he lay comatose. The doctors had no idea if he
would ever wake up.
A.J.’s funeral would be in a week. Anita was
taking it so bad. She had basically locked herself up in her room at
home. She wouldn’t eat, sleep or see anyone. I was worried about
her. She was going to make herself physically sick.
Not
only were the Backstreet Boys and I in mourning. So was a great deal of
the world. Teenage girls everywhere were shedding tears for one of their
beloved Backstreet Boys. Everyone was in such shock. The media ran
stories on it nightly. MTV and MuchMusic were having tribute days to the
boys the day of A.J.’s funeral.
But
the flood of support was amazing. Anita, the Backstreet Boys, Brian and I
recieved loads cards and gifts daily. You
wouldn’t believe how much it helped to have so much support behind you.
To know that so many people cared about you. I read each and every card
to Brian. I didn’t know if he could hear me, but I wanted him to know
that all these people cared. That he had a reason to hold on.
And
now mine and the Backstreet Boys future was unsure. Would there be a Backstreet
Boys with A.J. gone and with Brian in a coma? And I worked for
them. If they ceased to exist what would I do? It was all so
alarming and confusing.
I
looked at the empty side of our bed. I prayed that Brian would soon be
back to fill the vacant space.
***
