Chapter 18:

 

Remnants

 

Nick did not want to open his eyes. He wanted to sleep forever. The last time he’d opened his eyes it had hurt too much. It was definitely better to stay asleep. He could hear voices around him, familiar voices. He tried to ignore them and instead concentrated on keeping his eyes closed.

 

“Nick,” one of the voices said. “Come on sleepyhead. You’ve been asleep long enough. Time to get up.” Nick groaned a little in response.

 

“I don’t have all day, Nicky,” the voice continued. Against his will, Nick’s eyelids fluttered open.

 

“There you are!” the voice said triumphantly.

 

“What…” Nick mumbled, his voice almost inaudible.

 

Another voice laughed in delight. “Nick, you have no idea how good it is to hear your voice.”

 

“You heard that? How did you hear that?” the other voice demanded.

 

“Shut up, A.J.”

 

“Who…?” Nick asked, confused.

 

“Hey, buddy,” the second voice said kindly. “Welcome back to the land of the living. Do you know where you are?”

 

“Where’s Brian?” It was the only thing Nick could think of to ask.

 

“He said to tell you that he wanted to see you, but the doctor said he had to stay in bed. He’s thinking of you. He’s been really, really worried about you.”

 

“Where’s Brian?” Nick asked again. “I need to… tell him to stop crying. I had to come back to tell him not to cry.” He exhaled shakily. “He was hurting so bad… oh God I could feel it… it hurt so bad…”

 

A.J. and Howie slowly looked up at each other.

 

“Whoa.” A.J. said, his eyes wide. They both looked back at Nick, who was on the verge of drifting off again. He continued to murmur.

 

“Brian, stop crying. I had to come back, but it hurt so much, and I couldn’t breathe. God, I was afraid. So afraid… but I had to make it, I had to tell you it was ok…”

 

“Nick,” A.J. said loudly, putting his hand on Nick’s arm. “Nick do you hear me? Do you know who this is?” Nick’s eyes fluttered open again.

 

“A.J.?” he asked wearily.

 

“Thank God,” A.J. said, relieved. “Do you know where you are?” Nick shook his head ever so slightly.

 

“You’re in the hospital. You were in an accident. Do you understand me?”

 

Nick watched his face for a moment, and then nodded.

 

“I’m so tired,” he sighed. His face scrunched up for a moment, and he looked upset. “Why can’t I move?”

 

“You’re pretty weak, man. You had pneumonia on top of all of your other injuries,” A.J. informed him.

 

“Where’s everybody else?”

 

“We’re all here in the hospital. You were the last one to wake up. We’re all going to be ok. Don’t worry about anyone.”

 

“Brian is going to be thrilled to hear that you were awake and talkative,” Howie added.

 

Nick’s eyes roved around in a confused manor, looking for the speaker. “Who is that?”

 

“It’s Howie,” A.J. told him.

 

“Howie…” Nick murmured.

 

“Yup. You remember me, right?”

 

“Mmmm. Howie D.”

 

“Yeah,” Howie said with a grin. “That’s right. Good for you.”

 

“Where’s Brian? He was crying.”

 

“Brian’s not here, Nick. He’s in bed, probably asleep. He’s had a rough week.”

 

“I’m sorry I made him cry. I made him hurt.”

 

A.J. and Howie glanced at each other again. Howie cocked his head to the side, silently asking what he meant. A.J. shrugged. They turned their attention back to Nick. They were losing him again. This time they decided to let him sleep.

 

“I’m sorry I made him cry…”    

 

*     *     *

 

“I don’t believe it,” Kevin said. “They gave you crutches?”

 

A.J. grinned and waved his crutch in the air. “A crutch. You’d better believe it. I would have two, but the broken hand makes it a little hard to use.” He examined it. “I think we should incorporate this into our next dance routine.”

 

“How about we not,” Brian said flatly.

 

“Canes, maybe?”

 

“How can you even think abut dancing?” Kevin asked incredulously.

 

“We have to think about it sometime,” Howie pointed out. All four were quiet for a while.

 

“Yeah,” Brian said finally. “I guess we do.” A gloomy silence ensued. “Does anybody know how Nick is doing today?” Brian asked, changing the subject. He still hadn’t been allowed out of bed. He was getting more and more frustrated about not being able to see his best friend.

 

“He sat up for a little while today, didn’t he Howie?” A.J. said, looking pleased.

 

“That’s good news,” Kevin said.

 

“How’s his memory? Is he as messed up as Kevin is?” Brian asked, stealing a devilish glance at his cousin.

 

Kevin glared at him. “You’d better watch it, cuz.”

 

“You know I’m just playing witcha.”

 

“Right.”

 

“Well,” Howie said. “From what I’ve seen, he’s got some gaps here and there. He hasn’t forgotten anything major, except for the wreck, but we keep having to remind him about little stuff. Hite says that there doesn’t seem to be any permanent damage, and that it could be a lot worse. He’s seen patients where you tell them something, and then five seconds later you have to repeat it because they’ve already forgotten it.”

 

“He’s anxious to see you,” A.J. told Brian.

 

The smile left his face. “Me too,” he said quietly.

 

Howie and A.J. had decided not to tell Brian about the strange conversation they had had with Nick two days ago. He had not said anything since while he was conscious. While he was asleep however, they heard him muttering again about having to come back and tell Brian it was ok. They weren’t sure what it meant, but they didn’t want to risk upsetting Brian by telling him.

 

“He was awake for a full half hour this morning,” Howie said, trying to cheer him up.

 

“That’s great news,” he said sincerely.

 

A nurse poked her head into the room. Her gaze settled on A.J. “I though I’d find you here,” she said sternly. “You were supposed to stay on your floor with those. I told you no wandering.”

 

“Oh, Andrea,” A.J. said with a dramatic shake of his head. “You worry too much.”

 

“Dr. Westin could have my head for this,” she warned him.

 

A.J. looked back at the others. “I think I just got this nice young lady in trouble. Will you help me make it up to her?”

 

“What do you propose?” Brian asked with a grin.

 

A.J. raised his eyebrow at them. Brian and Howie nodded at him. Kevin groaned and squeezed his eyes shut. He slowly opened one and nodded his consent. “Take it easy on me. Remember, my memory doesn’t work quite the way I want it.”

 

A.J. grinned. “All right.” He went to rub his hands together, but was stopped by his cast. He sighed, and then cleared his throat.

 

Yea-a-ah.”

 

He nodded towards Brian. Brian closed his eyes and began to sing.

 

You are my fire, the one desire

Believe when I say, that I want it that way.

But we are two worlds apart,

I can’t reach to your heart when you say

That I want it that way. Tell me why,”

 

The other three chimed in.

 

 “Ain’t nothin’ but a heartache.”

“Tell me why,”

“Ain’t nothin’ but a mistake, tell me why,”

“I never wanna hear you say,”

“I want it that way.”

 

Their harmonies were a little loose, and their voices sounded a little rusty, especially Kevin’s. But it didn’t seem to matter. A.J. dramatically swung his hands out to the side to begin his verse.

 

Am I your fire, your one desire

Yes I know it’s too late,

But I want it that way.

Tell me why,”

“Ain’t nothin’ but a heartache,”

“Tell me why,”

 

“Ain’t nothin’ but a mistake, tell me why,”

“I never wanna hear you say,”

“I want it that-a-way.”

 

Kevin raised his hand, signaling them to quit. “Sorry guys,” he said coughing a little. “That’s the best I can do. And besides, I can’t think fast enough to get the words out right now.” He looked down at his hands.

 

A sober silence filled the room. Nurse Andrea’s smile slowly faded.

 

“Don’t worry about it Kev,” Brian said softly. “We’ve got plenty of time to worry about that.”

 

“Do we?” Kevin asked bitterly. Brian said nothing.

 

“Well, Mr. McLean,” Andrea said. “That was truly wonderful but you need to go back downstairs now. Ok?”

 

“Okay, okay. I’m going.” A.J. made a face at his friends as he left.

 

***

 

 

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