Prologue

"…the possibility of remaining anonymous is essential if the fundamental rights to privacy and freedom of expression are to be maintained in cyberspace…"

- Policy Recommendation to the European Parliament,

adopted by the Working Party on 3 December 1997

You have joined Backstreet Boys Chat…there are 30 users in chat. Keeping the Backstreet Pride Alive!

BSBH4t3r: Hello, ladies.

Nickyschic01: Everyone name your favorite Backstreet Boy!!

Howiesbadgurl: AJ

BSBH4t3r: Kevin's going to die first.

Sweetbaby: they're all gay.

Littlediva: shut up

Sk8ordie: you're gay!!

BSBH4t3r: I'm going to carve his tattoo into his skin.

Nickyschic01: ewww thats sick

popprincess9234: fuk u

BSBH4t3r: Should I make his wife watch? I hear she hates to watch….

Howiesbadgurl: huh?

Wolverine3: bsb is for faggots.

Lazeeb4by: don't cum to a bsb room if you don't like them!

BSBH4t3r: want his address?

Kaoscutiebabeee: Kevin's address?

BSBH4t3r: got it right here.

Bsbluva: what doesn't kevins wife watch? Tv?

BSBH4t3r: concerts…she hates concerts. I'm gonna give her one she'll never forget.

Sweetbaby: YEAH!! KILL EM ALL!!

Shining_star_for_brian: that not funny

BSBH4t3r: Funny, no, that will be how I kill Nick.

Sk8ordie: Don't kill anyone.

BSBH4t3r: I think I should crucify Brian…

Frackslover: I wanna see Kevin naked.

BSBH4t3r: I have. That's how I know what his tattoo looks like. And exactly where it is.

BSBH4t3r: So anyone have any preferences? Kevin's going to die first. Who should be next? I'm leaning towards Howie. Age order, and all.

Popprincess9234: ne1 who luvs nick press 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Howiesbadgurl: HOWIEEEEEEEE

Littlediva: gonna see 'em on tour anyboddy?

BSBH4t3r: aah well, I have time to decide. Cya everyone.

You have left Backstreet Boys Chat.

***

Chapter 1

Tara was late for work, again. She was late to work more often than she ever would be willing to admit to, but she was always armed with a good excuse, just in case someone happened to ask why she was late. Which nobody ever did, but just in case, she was prepared.

Tara parked her car in the lot behind her office building, grabbed her purse and id tag and walked up to the building. She waved her tag in front of the electronic lock to get inside, yanking the door open when she heard the familiar click, and charged through the row of cubicles, determined to get to hers and drop her things before anyone noticed she was just arriving.

As always, she quickly discovered she was the first person in her group to arrive, and slid into her chair with a relieved sigh. "Why do I bother," she muttered, flipping on her computer and settling in.

Tara had spent the last two years of her life in this little cubicle, in this building full of cubicles, working 'abuse' for one of the "leading community websites on the Internet."

Or so the press releases called it.

From her perspective, it was a site full of perverts and predators, who didn't realize there were better, larger sites out there that provided the same services. But that was just her perspective, given what she did all day long.

"Oh man," Tara groaned, opening up the first e-mail in the abuse queue, and immediately finding herself staring at a small, limp, penis. "Man, you have nothing to show off," she grumbled to herself, locating the user id on the report and terminating the account.

At least her job was different, she told herself constantly. Definitely not boring. She was responsible for going through the reports users sent in on other users, complaining about various things people did wrong. A great deal of the reports sent in were just gibberish, but the rest, well, they were things like this. Lots of nudity, lots of porn, lots of

'he threatened me,' and lots of…

"Fuck," Tara shut off her monitor the instant the picture opened, and jumped up, deciding it was too early to look at bestiality without coffee. "Morning," she chirped, banging on each cubicle she walked by, waving to her co-workers. As much as her job frustrated, and at times sickened her, she did love the environment she worked in.

People could come in whenever they wanted to, and leave whenever they wanted to, so long as their work got done. No dress code, no stuffy bosses, none of the things she'd dealt with in her previous job as a webmaster for a publishing company.

Nope. Just lots and lots of porn, she thought to herself, rolling her eyes as she walked to the coffee maker. Lots, and lots, and lots……

***

"We done yet?" Nick flicked a pencil across the table at Kevin, smirking when it bounced off of the older man's chest.

"One more thing," Kevin said firmly, glaring at Nick. "Sit."

"I really don't care what mileage our tour buses get, Kevin," Nick whined. "Can't I go?"

"Me too?" Brian added, more to frustrate his cousin than anything else, he knew full well they weren't getting out of the meeting early.

"No!" Kevin turned his glare on to Brian, shaking his head. "You know we gotta go through all this shit before we tour."

"You gotta go through all this shit. Why do we?" Nick asked, ducking when Kevin threw the pencil back. "Well?"

"You want your own bus?"

Nick shrugged, "yeah, we already said we'd each have our own…"

"Then shut up and sit tight."

"Kevin…"

"Or else you're bunking with Howie." Kevin interrupted him.

"HEY!" Howie shouted in protest. "What's so wrong with me?"

"Ok, point taken," Nick sighed, and sat back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest.

"Thank you, Nick," Kevin said sarcastically. He took a deep breath, and looked around at the group, "so, you all know we get some pretty weird letters, death threats and stuff, all par for the course."

"Sure," AJ shrugged. "What of it?"

"The Firm's gotten genuinely spooked by some of them, enough to think they're all coming from the same person. They've contacted the FBI, and an agent is going to be investigating."

"Agent? Investigating?" Nick sat up straight, a grin on his face. "Scully?"

"Shut up, Carter," Brian elbowed him. "This is serious."

"Please," he rolled his eyes. "A freak likes to write letters. So what. We get so many stupid letters, why pay attention to these."

"A freak who knows an awful lot about us," Kevin explained. "The FBI is concerned, this agent is going to be working up a profile on the person writing."

"I can tell you that," AJ smirked. "It's a girl, with no life, who is a huge fan, and thinks its fun to write stupid letters to us. Fans know everything, man, you know that."

"This is beyond just a fan," Kevin shook his head. "If you want to read the letters, you can, but…I don't know. Whatever, whoever this is, they know too much."

"Really, Kev, nobody's going to kill us," Howie said. "They couldn't get close enough, for one."

"Well, just in case, you guys need to know about it, and just be careful. Don't go anywhere without your bodyguards, and keep your eyes open, for the entire tour." Kevin looked at Nick, and raised his eyes expectantly. "Ok?"

"Yeah, fine," Nick shrugged. "Like I go anywhere anyway."

"That includes hotel bars," Kevin shot back. "No sharing bodyguards."

"Yes, sir Kevin," Nick rolled his eyes. "NOW are we done?"

"Done," he replied, waving them off. "Go."

He didn't have to tell them twice.

***

Tara was falling asleep at her computer, despite the loud music blaring into her ears through her headphones, and the strange pictures and e-mail she was constantly forced to read. It drove her nuts sometimes, exactly how many reports she got in that were complete trash. Signal to noise, was the term the military folks used. The ratio of useful sonar to just gibberish. She often wondered what her s/n ratio would be. 1000:3? The hard part was always figuring out which ones were signals, and which ones were just noise.

"Wake up, girl," she rubbed her eyes, and clicked on the next e-mail. All she had to do was get through the queue, and she could go home.

It was a report from a chatter. Tara quickly skimmed the e-mail, pretty positive before she even read it what action she was going to take. Which was to delete it. There wasn't much she could do with chatter reports, after all, whatever was said in a chatroom was long gone, and policy dictated she had to see whatever was happening that was so bad, before she could take action against the user doing it. But she read over the report just the same, sitting straight up when she realized she'd read a few reports like this one so far today.

According to this report, and she was pretty positive the others had said nearly the exact same thing, some guy went into the Backstreet Boys chatroom and began telling the girls that he was going to kill the boys He apparently went into a decent amount of detail, enough to scare the teenaged fans who had been chatting about their favorite boys.

"Kill them, do the world a favor," Tara grumbled, but she stored the report just the same, returning to the queue to look for similar ones. By the time she was done searching, she had gathered 30 reports, all from different users, all reporting the same person. "And all at different times," she remarked, reading each one over. She started to laugh when she read the description of how this guy was going to kill the one called Nick. "Hey," she felt a stuffed animal hit her in the head, and stood up, looking to see who had thrown the toy.

"You're laughing. No laughing at porn," Tommy snickered, throwing another toy at her.

"I'm not laughing at porn," she grabbed the teddy bear and winged it back, smiling when it hit him in the head. "Some guy is scaring off chatters, telling them he's going to kill the Backstreet Boys."

"Good," Tommy shrugged. "Let him."

"That's what I think too," she replied, shrugging. "He's original though, has some interesting ways to kill them."

"Make them listen to their own music until they go deaf?"

"Strangle Nick with his Playstation controllers," Tara giggled. "Can't you just see it?

Death by Playstation."

"If it hasn't happened to you yet, it's not gonna happen to anyone," Tommy laughed.

"You finish that damn game yet?"

"Which one?" Tara asked, her brow furrowing. She played a lot of games, asking if she'd finished "that game," was like asking Tommy if he'd bought "that cd." The man owned more CD's than anyone else she knew…

"The Sonic one?"

"That's Dreamcast," she rolled her eyes. Couldn't anyone keep the consoles straight?

Sheesh. Sonic was Sega, get with it…. "And no, not yet, I just got it last week."

"Tara the game goddess is slipping!" Tommy remarked, shaking a finger at her. "Had a game for an entire week and not finished it yet? My oh my…"

"Oh, blow me," She sat back down and returned her attention to her monitor, effectively ending the conversation there. "Alright, say bye bye BSBH4t3r," she whispered to herself, clicking with her mouse and killing the account.

Another pervert down, and far too many left to go.

***

After work, Tara used her key to let herself into Andrew's apartment, ringing the doorbell as she entered to let him know she was coming. "Andy? You here?" Andrew was one of her very best friends, and her next door neighbor. They hung out most nights after work, commiserating with each other about the various annoyances they encountered working on the Internet day after day.

"In here," Andy called.

Tara walked into the living room, veering away from her usual spot on the couch to peer at his stack of cd's. She picked up a Backstreet Boys CD and sat down next to Andy, handing it to him. "Who's who?"

"Hello to you too, how are you doing, how was your day?" Andy asked sarcastically. He took the CD from her and pulled out the liner notes, opening it slowly. "And why do you suddenly care about the Backstreet Boys?"

"Some guy was going off in chat, saying he was going to kill them. Just curious who was getting which death."

Andy's eyes widened, and he frowned, "nobody's killing my Boys."

"He was a quack, Andy, chill. I'm just curious." Tara poked him, and pointed to the CD.

"So?"

Andy flipped through the small booklet, pointing as he went. "Brian Littrell, Nick Carter, Kevin Richardson, AJ McLean, Howie Dorough." He held the booklet up in the air when Tara tried to take it from him, shaking his head. "No way, you're gonna tell me who's dying how, now I'M curious."

"Why do you care? I told you he was a nut, I killed the account, that's that." She reached for the booklet again, groaning when he yanked it away. "Andy…"

"Tara baby, tell me. How's my Alex gonna die?"

"Alex?"

"AJ." Andy made a face. "Alexander James."

"Gotcha. AJ," Tara sat back on the couch as she tried to remember. "Let's see, AJ was pretty elaborate. Alcohol poisoning, and some kind of rape or another, I don't remember exactly," she shrugged. "Who cares."

Andy squealed and smacked Tara playfully. "Nobody may touch a hair on my AJ's head until I get to kiss it, understand?"

"Yes, Andrew," she rolled her eyes. "Can I see, now?"

"Here," Andy handed it to her, watching as she looked at the pictures. "You gonna be a fan, now?"

She snickered, "jesus no, I like REAL music, remember?"

"The crap you listen to is so not music, Tara, don't even give me that."

"This one, Nick?" She held up the paper, pointing. "He's kinda cute."

Andy gasped in horror, and shook his head rapidly. "That's KEVIN, Tara, shit, get them straight, would you?"

Tara frowned, and continued through the booklet, "Nick was going to be strangled by his Playstation controllers." She started to laugh, and shook her head, "of them all, I rather liked that one."

"You know, babe, that's a suitable death for you too," Andy grumbled.

"Don't mess with my Playstation," she warned, glaring at him. "You do, I'll tell your bosses you have wet dreams about AJ."

Andy shrieked, and grabbed the liner notes back. "Evil evil girl."

"I know you hide subliminal messages on that webpage about AJ, hoping he'll see it,"

Tara teased, laughing as Andy's face turned red.

"I do not!"

"You want to, anyway."

"You know full well I've never even met them," Andy insisted, getting up to replace the CD in its proper spot. "I've been there, what, a year now? They've been in the building, I've seen my AJ walk by, but have I ever said a word? Nope. I've been such a good little boy."

"You'll get your chance, Andy," Tara patted his head when he sat back down, giggling at his pout.

"They were at the office today, even," Andy continued to pout, batting his eyes at her for emphasis. "They gave me pictures to post on the site of them in the office."

"I bet you drooled over those pictures."

"Fuck you."

Tara snickered, "enough about this, are we gonna get dinner, or what?"

"Want to order in, watch a video?"

"What video?" Tara asked suspiciously.

Andy grinned, "Backstreet?"

"No."

"Come on, Tara, you'd like them if you gave them half a chance," he argued, the pout returning to his face for emphasis.

"No way, get up, we're going out." Tara stood up, and looked down at him still sitting, her hands on her hips. "Andy…"

"Please?"

"Out."

"Tara, you, like, practically CHANNEL Nick, if you'd only pay attention, you two are so much alike…"

"Out, or the boys get it," Tara grabbed the CD case and held it up in the air. "Don't you think I won't do it either."

"Baby, I came out long ago," he cooed, standing up and smirking at her.

"Very funny, Andy," she put the CD back down and shooed him out the door. "Go."

"It was funny," he agreed, pleased with his joke. "Very."

***

Chapter 2

"Not again," Tara muttered, opening up an e-mail and seeing a very familiar story being told by the chatter submitting the report. Once again, someone was threatening to kill Backstreet Boys, and once again, he was terrifying the teenagers in the chatroom. "Jesus christ, could enough of them report this guy?" She whispered sarcastically, running through the masses of reports that had been submitted.

Was this guy spending his whole LIFE in chat, or were Backstreet fans just that obsessive, she wondered. BSBH3t4rs had gotten a good 40 reports on him, that she'd found so far, and it was still early in the morning. Goddamn.

"Well, say bye bye," she rolled her eyes, and killed his account. Hopefully he wouldn't sign up again. The problem with being a free service….she could kill accounts until she was blue in the face, and this guy could keep signing up again. All she could do was try…

***

"Lemme see?" Nick snatched the paper out of Kevin's hands and sat down, his eyes widening as he read. "Strangle me with my Playstation controllers?"

"I've been tempted at times myself," Kevin admitted with a small grin.

"You're not actually taking this seriously."

"The FBI thinks we should."

"Do you?" Nick raised an eyebrow curiously. "Kevin, come on. Strangle me with a controller?"

"I am coming to get you, Kaos," Brian ran up to Nick, a controller held tight between his hands. "DEATH BY PLAYSTATION!!" He cackled and wrapped the cord around Nick's neck, snickering when Nick began to act like he was choking. "You think this is even strong enough to choke you?"

"Don't find out, please?" Kevin pleaded with them, rolling his eyes when Nick fell onto the floor, clutching at his neck. "This is morbid."

"Oh, damn. Someone killed Nicky," Howie remarked with a definite lack of emotion, walking into the room and stepping over Nick's body. "With a Playstation controller?"

"Don't ask," Kevin groaned.

AJ walked into the room, holding an envelope in his hand. His face was uncharacteristically grim, and he barely looked at Nick strangling on the floor before handing the envelope to Kevin. "I got this in the mail today. At HOME."

"Home?" Kevin's eyes widened, and he looked at the envelope carefully. "Here?"

"Look at the address," AJ waved to the envelope, and sat down, shaking his head. "Man, how'd he get my home address?"

"She," Howie corrected. "I thought you were so sure this was a girl."

"I ain't so sure anymore," AJ said grimly. "No girl would think up that shit."

Kevin opened the envelope and pulled out a piece of paper, his face paling when he read the typewritten note. "Jesus christ," he whispered, refolding the paper and returning it to the envelope. "We'll give this to the FBI."

"Lemme see?" Nick raised his hand from his spot on the floor, frowning when Kevin waved him off. "I wanna see!"

"Not this one you don't," Kevin shook his head slowly.

"Jesus christ is right," AJ shuddered. "What the fuck?"

"Enough, AJ," Kevin said firmly.

"Let me see!" Nick stood up and tried to grab the envelope from Kevin, glaring at him when he held it out of reach. "Why won't you let me see? What am I, a kid?"

"Trust me, Nick, you don't want to read it," AJ told him.

Brian rolled his eyes, "what's the big deal? Give it to me, Kev."

Kevin stared at Brian for a moment, before standing up and pocketing the envelope.

"We shouldn't even have opened it, the FBI can check for prints and stuff, if we don't get our dirty paws all over it."

"But, Kevin…" Nick whined, his eyes widening when Kevin just walked out of the room without another word. "Hey!" He looked at AJ, frowning, "what the hell got up his butt?

I just wanted to see what stupid death this guy had planned for you."

AJ shook his head slowly, "that letter wasn't about me, Nicky. I still don't know what he has planned for me."

"So? Who was it about? And how bad could it be, if mine was death by Playstation."

AJ sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. "It was about Brian."

"And?"

"He seems to want to get each of us with the things we love most. You…games."

"And Brian?" Nick prompted.

Brian's face turned white, and he sat down heavily. "What does he think I love most, AJ?"

"What do you love most, Brian?" AJ asked him, meeting his gaze sadly. "Or I should say, who?"

"Leighanne," Brian said softly.

"Before Leighanne. More than Leighanne. Leighanne loves him too."

Brian's mouth fell open, "what?"

"Jesus?" AJ said, rolling his eyes when Nick fell back to the floor with a thud. "See, I told you this wasn't funny."

"What'd he say about Jesus and Brian?" Nick asked, staring up at AJ.

"How did Jesus die?" AJ asked, looking sadly at Brian.

"Oh, jesus."

"Yeah. Oh jesus."

***

"Goddammit," Tara cursed, impatiently yanking on the door to her office. Once again, she'd tried to open the door before the electronic lock had triggered, which meant she had to step back and wait for it to reset before she could try again. She ran a hand through her wet hair while she waited, then opened the lock and headed in to her cubicle.

"Morning, Tara," Tommy called as she breezed into her cubicle, waving at her.

Tara dumped her bag at her desk and turned around, looking at Tommy curiously.

"You're in early?"

"Couldn't sleep," he shrugged. "You're in late."

Tara rolled her eyes in exasperation. The one morning she hadn't bothered coming up with an excuse, someone noticed. "I overslept," she said briskly, before marching off to get her coffee.

Back at her desk, coffee in hand, Tara opened up the abuse queue, looking over today's batch of perverts and weirdos. She groaned when she recognized an all too familiar subject line, and clicked on the e-mail, her shoulders slumping as she read.

"He's back," she whispered to herself, shaking her head. This would make five times this pervert had recreated his account, always with just one letter or number different, and each time, his stories of what he intended to do to the Backstreet Boys just got that much more graphic, more disturbing.

Her eyes widened when she saw a URL referenced in the e-mail, and clicked on it, gasping when the webpage opened. "Holy shit, he's insane," she gasped, covering her mouth in disgust at the site.

The guy had taken pictures of the Backstreet Boys and manipulated them into extremely graphic pictures of what he intended to do to them, or so he said. On the side of the page was a logo announcing the "Game Had Begun," and there was a link to his "diary."

Tara clicked.

She chewed on her bottom lip as she read the explanation of what this game was supposed to be. Torturing the Backstreet Boys, slowly, ultimately culminating in their deaths.

They felt too protected, so he said. They were on top of the world. He intended to bring them down.

His first strike was to show them that he could get to them, that they weren't invincible.

Not kill them. No, he explained, he would only kill them once they knew he was coming…once he'd "adequately," scared them. And just for the hell of it, he wasn't going to say how he was going to be teasing them. Not really, anyway. He suggested AJ watch his drinks carefully, Brian should make sure he knew his pastor, Kevin, his wife, and Howie should always watch his money. Nick should check out a certain game, for he was to be living it soon. Tara grimaced when she read the title of the game, hoping the guy really didn't mean what she thought he meant with that….

At the very bottom of the page was a line that he said would let a reader know when he would strike first, a quote from a song. "I've been watching you, you've been watching me."

Tara shuddered, and went to kill the account. She held her mouse over the button for a moment, before changing her mind. This was getting a little too creepy, this guy was actually speaking english, writing clear sentences, no, something was wrong here. Just killing his account wouldn't do any good.

"Tommy? What's Matt's extension?" Tara called, still clicking around on the page.

"Jesus," she cursed, quickly minimizing the browser window. Despite the graphic nature of the material she saw every day, some things still managed to get to her, and rape was definitely one of them…

"Matt the lawyer?"

"Matt the lawyer," Tara replied.

"Got something to trademark?" Tommy jumped up and walked over to her cubicle, peering at her monitor. "Nice wallpaper."

Tara rolled her eyes. Her screen was black. Just black. No wallpaper. "Nothing to trademark, just have a question."

"Oh." Tommy was an engineer for the company, and had been riding high ever since he'd developed two trademarkable technologies over the last year. Trademarking, he'd learned, was fun, when your name went on the paper. "He's 6537."

"Thanks," Tara waved Tommy off and dialed. She sighed with relief when Matt picked up on the first ring, and quickly explained the situation. "Basically, I don't think this guy's just kidding anymore. He's putting far too much effort into it, with the website, and the pictures, and scaring these girls….it's like he wants this to get back to the Backstreet Boys, he wants them to get scared."

"Kill the account," Matt advised.

"Yeah, but he'll just recreate," Tara frowned. "Five seconds, and he'll have a new account, and be doing it again."

"What do you suggest we do, then?" Matt's voice sounded tired as he asked the question.

"Tell the police?"

"It's not child pornography, is it?"

"What?"

"You said there's a simulated rape. Is the person being raped a child? We're required by law to report child porn to the FBI if it is."

"No, he's a Backstreet Boy," Tara said in exasperation. "So?"

"We can't tell the police, unfortunately, it's a dangerous precedent we'd be setting if we did."

"But, Matt, this guy, I really think he intends to do this…"

"It makes no difference, Tara. Our users have a right to their privacy, even the more off-kilter ones."

"But…"

"No buts. We can't. Kill the account."

Tara sighed heavily, and killed the account.

***

"Tara baby, where are you?"

Tara was sitting on her living room couch with her laptop in her lap, trying to fit in to the crowd in the Backstreet Boys chatroom. "In here," she called, rolling her eyes as yet another chatter announced that all the boys were gay. "Andy wishes," she giggled, looking up at him when he walked in.

"What's so funny?" He flopped down next to her, looking at the computer screen. "Oooh, you ARE becoming a fan!"

"Not quite," Tara shut off the laptop and put it on the coffee table. "This guy, he keeps coming back."

"The one who wants to hurt my AJ?"

"The one who wants to hurt all of them," she frowned. "He's starting to creep me out, Andy, the things he says, he's thought about all of it far too much."

Andy made a face, and rolled his eyes, "you don't really believe this guy wants to kill the Backstreet Boys."

"Not just kill," she corrected. "Torture, terrify, then kill."

"Fine. That. Please." Andy snickered, "I think your job is getting to you. Those boys have tighter security than god, nobody's getting to them. Did I TELL you what they're doing to the office for their party next week?"

"No…."

"Ok, well, so, you know their tour is starting next week, right?" Andy began jabbering, his eyes lighting up as he talked about his favorite subject. Backstreet Boys. "Well, management, of course, is throwing a party. So they have people doing friggin walkthroughs of the office, making sure everything's clear, we're gonna have special badges that day, all sorts of stuff. All because it's going to be fairly well known they're gonna be there, and all just in case. Nothing's gonna happen Tara, you're being silly."

"You going to this party?" Tara asked, laughing when Andy groaned. "No?"

"What, like a silly webmaster gets to go to the tour party? Please," he shook his head.

"No, I just get to post the pictures afterwards."

"Awww, sorry sweetie," Tara said consolingly.

"That's ok, I've been promised backstage passes when the tour hits LA. You'll come with, right?"

"If they're still alive? Sure," Tara sighed.

"So not funny."

"Andy, I tell you, if you'd seen this site…."

"What's the url?" Andy picked up Tara's laptop and opened it.

"I killed the account," she closed it and returned it to the table. "All I could do."

"I still think you're being a spaz."

"Too much detail, Andy, this guy has thought all this through."

"Like how?" He challenged. "Killing Nick with playstation controllers. Oooh, scary," he giggled. "I coulda thought of that."

"Ok, well, using Nick as the example?" Tara pulled her legs up onto the couch and hugged them tight, shuddering as she remembered. "He said he was going to make Nick live out a game."

"So? Living out a game sounds like fun," Andy shrugged.

"Not this game," she said woefully.

"What game then, darlin, tell me."

"D2."

Andy looked at her dully. "And that is?"

"Remember that Dreamcast game that came out a few months ago, the one that I was so offended by?"

Andy started to laugh, "the one with the tentacle sex?"

"It was RAPE, Andy, it was a woman getting raped by a goddamn tentacle thing, and it was disgusting," Tara reminded him, her face flushing as she spoke. "The guy said Nick's going to live out that game."

"Nick's going to have tentacle sex?" Andy giggled, wiggling his hips. "Lucky Nicky."

"It was rape, Andy."

"It was just a game, Tara," Andy rolled his eyes.

"This guy says he's just playing a game too," Tara said grimly.

"You're a spaz."

"I'm afraid, is what I am."

"So sweet, Tara's worried for my Boys."

"Tara's worried someone's going to hurt someone, and she didn't stop it," Tara corrected.

"I can't do anything about it, and that scares me. It's like this guy knows that."

"I think it's adorable you care, but you're overreacting. This guy's just another freak online, relax."

"I hope you're right, Andy."

"I'm sure I am. Now, dinner?"

"Yeah, dinner."

***

Chapter 3

Tara was at work, keeping one eye on the abuse queue, and one on the Backstreet Boys chatroom. The freak was back, he'd recreated his account, and had once again scared enough girls that she had piles of abuse reports to go through. But he wasn't in the chatroom, not just then anyway.

"Since when do you hang out in chat?"

The voice by her ear startled her, and she yanked off her headphones to glare up at Tommy. "Since now. What do you want?"

"Just to say hi," Tommy bounced around her cubicle, picking up her action figures and playing with them. "Want to play a game?"

"No."

"Nintendo? I got Conker…"

"No."

"Come on, it's fun."

"No."

"Mario Kart?"

"I said no," Tara rolled her eyes and returned her attention to her computer screen.

"Game Boy? I got my link cable…"

"Tommy, no."

"I'm compiling, I can't do anything else," he sat on her desk and swung his feet, making her computer shake. "Talk to me."

Tara frowned and clicked through some more abuse reports. She turned around to look at Tommy, an idea forming in her head. "Hey, you can access the user database, can't you?"

Tommy stared at her for a moment before shaking his head, "I don't work on it, just on the packets it sends out. So nope, I can't."

"What about the chat server?"

"That I can get to. Why?"

"Can you get me an IP?"

Tommy's eyes narrowed, "who's IP?"

"This guy who's been threatening the Backstreet Boys. I want to see where he's coming from."

"Sure, I guess," he shrugged. "Don't see why you care, though."

"Something horrible's going to happen, I know it," Tara said forlornly. "I can't just sit by and watch."

"He on now?"

She shook her head, "nope. I'm waiting for him to log in."

"Well, when he does, let me know, I'll grab the IP for you."

"Thanks."

"No problem." Tommy bounced back over to his cubicle, the floor shaking as he went.

"Compile, dammit!" He yelled at his computer.

Tara laughed, and slid her headphones back on. Engineers. Can't live with 'em, can't kill

'em.

***

After work, Tara went to the beach. She needed some time to think, to calm down and relax, and get control of her thoughts, and the beach was always perfect for that.

She found a parking space without too much trouble, and got out of her car, leaving her shoes and socks inside. She walked to the pier and down to the sand, sitting down and stretching out. Now this, this was heaven, she thought to herself. Definitely the best thing about living in LA…the close proximity of the beach.

"I've been watching you, you've been watching me."

The line popped into her head, and she pondered its meaning. His clue. The guy had said it was a line from a song. Which song? Whose song? The Backstreet Boys, most likely, but she didn't know their music well enough to figure out which one. And how could a song tell them when he was going to hurt them anyway?

The Backstreet Boys were going to be here in LA in two days, for the party being thrown by The Firm. Andy was nearly giddy with excitement, apparently knowing he was in the same building as them would be close enough for him.

"They're just pretty boys," she mumbled to herself, lying down and closing her eyes. Silly pretty boys, who somehow managed to invoke such strong emotions in people. Andy, with his love for AJ; the girls in chat, spending all night talking gibberish about the boys; and of course, this guy, who hated them so much he wanted to destroy them. Howie, AJ, Kevin, Nick, Brian. She hadn't even known their names until a few weeks ago, but now….she could see their faces when she closed her eyes, and worried about them with her every breath.

Why did she bother caring so much, she wondered. After all, they were just a silly pop group. If they had such good security, why didn't they stop this guy on their own?

As soon as she thought about the question, she knew the answer. Because they probably didn't know. Only SHE knew.

"I don't want to know!" She whispered angrily to herself. She wasn't a heroine, at least not in real life. In her games, she saved the world a thousand times over, from alien races, from evil lords of destruction, from all sorts of things. But those were just games, not her life. Who the hell gave this guy the right to make her the one who had to do something?

She sat up and looked out at the water, squinting against the glare of the setting sun. She wasn't overreacting either, she was becoming more sure of that as the days went on. The crazy ones, the guys who were just trying to invoke a reaction in people, they weren't this organized, this detailed. They would just say 'I'm going to kill you,' and leave it at that.

Not, "you love your money and the things you buy with your money. Your money will burn you, and you will never have felt such physical pain before in your life. Emotional will come later. That is your warning."

He was so detailed, yet so cryptic. Money burning. Alcohol hurting. Love destroying.

And the list went on. He'd clearly thought about each of the guys, thought long and hard about how he wanted to get to them. It was awful.

And she couldn't tell a soul. "Dangerous precedent my ass," she grumbled, wrapping her arms around her waist as a chill crept over her. She understood the need to protect their user's rights, she did, she was as much of a champion of freedom of speech and the right to privacy as anyone. But….this was different.

Her contract kept her from telling the police too. Goddamn NDA. Non disclosure agreements were par for the course with a technology company, and she'd signed it when she was hired without thinking twice. But then again, she'd never imagined she would be in this position….

She shouldn't even be telling Andy all that she was about what this guy was doing. But of all people, she'd hoped that he would listen. She was wrong, of course, he thought she was overreacting, and she should probably stop talking to him about it. It wasn't like he could do anything, anyway….

Her eyes widened and she sat up straight, realizing what she had to do. Tell the Backstreet Boys themselves. THEY would listen.

Well, if they didn't think she was crazy.

She snorted, and shook her head, killing that idea right there. They would think she was nuts, some deranged fan who thought she was going to save them. Not quite the image she wanted to project…

So all she could do was wait and see. Hope nothing happened.

"I've been watching you, you've been watching me…."

With that line spinning through her head, and feeling as helpless as she had when she arrived, Tara got up and headed home. The beach hadn't worked its wonders on her today.

She had a feeling the beach wouldn't do much for her until she did something. What that something was, she didn't know. Something.

"I've been watching you, you've been watching me…."

***

The Backstreet Boys sat in a conference room, all their eyes fixed on the FBI Agent who was explaining the way their investigation would work. "…and with the help of the profile, we will hopefully locate the person who has been sending these letters, and take action," Agent Melissa Palmer finished, looking around the room and meeting everyone's eyes evenly. "We will need your cooperation with this, though, you will have to stop opening letters you receive, any communication you even suspect is from this person, you need to send our way immediately."

"You keep saying we," Howie said, a frown on his face. "But there's only one of you here."

She laughed, and nodded, "my partner is back at Quantico, working on the profile."

"What do you have of the profile so far?" Kevin asked.

Agent Palmer's expression grew serious again, and she looked at Kevin as she spoke.

"What we have is very preliminary at this point, mind you, but so far? The perp is between the ages of 20 and 40, most likely in a job that bores him. Repetitive work, requiring attention to detail, we see that same attention to detail in the letters he's writing. Probably a loner socially as well, maybe one or two close friends, but no romantic interest. He probably has never had a real serious relationship, some sort of sexual aggression's there, definitely, we're seeing that in his descriptions of what he wants to do to Kevin and AJ," she gestured. "Your wife's involvement in this, and the rape."

AJ shuddered, "gee, thanks."

"It's a guy?" Nick asked, "not some crazy girl?"

Agent Palmer shook her head, "no, we don't know if it's male or female at this point, I'm just using 'he' from force of habit, excuse me on that. That's part of what Bren's working on back at Quantico," she stopped when she saw the confused expressions on everyone's faces. "Agent Brendan Jackson is my partner, he's the best profiler there is. Figuring out gender is normally pretty simple, but in this case, it's proving to be a tricky issue."

"Why?" Kevin asked, his brow furrowing. "Most of our fans are girls, doesn't it stand to reason…"

"No, it doesn't," she interrupted with a wave of her hand. "Nothing 'stands to reason,' in this situation. You must understand we are dealing with someone who does not think the way you do, or I do. Reason, and logic, to them, is not the same as it is to you or me.

It is figuring out how their mind works, and getting inside of it, that will give us the answers you are looking for."

"So all we can do is wait?" Brian asked softly, clearly shaken by her words.

"I'm afraid so," she replied. "You should be just fine, I don't want you to worry about your personal safety. This person is enjoying playing a game with you, and it's very clear that he WANTS you to be afraid. You can't be afraid if you're dead."

"Well, that's a relief," Nick said sarcastically.

"Morbid," Kevin frowned.

"But true," Agent Palmer said firmly. "When he kills you, the game's over. And he wants to play."

"Guys?" A man stuck his head in the room, looking at Kevin expectantly. "Party's started, we need you out there."

Kevin sighed and nodded. He stood up, extending his hand to Agent Palmer. "Thank you for coming out here to meet with us. If there's anything else we can do…"

"Just stay safe," she said, shaking his hand. "All of you. I will be in touch."

"Thanks. Now we have a party to get to," Kevin looked around at the group. "Ready?"

"Oh yeah, because don't we feel like having a party now," Brian grumbled, standing up slowly and stretching.

"Let's have a party!" AJ cracked, smacking Brian's hair playfully. "Come on, a couple drinks, and you'll be fine."

"Sure I will be," he said doubtfully.

"Drinking cures all ails."

"Drinking makes you forget all ails," Nick corrected.

"Same difference, Nicky, same difference."

***

Tara sat in the Backstreet Boys chatroom, wondering where the hell this guy was. She knew he was around, her day at work had been filled with abuse reports on him, but she still hadn't managed to catch him online yet. It was like he knew she was waiting to find him, just so she could get his IP.

"Like that'll tell me anything," she grumbled. She knew full well that knowing his IP

could mean nothing, but she had to try, right?

"I've been watching you, you've been watching me."

Tara groaned as the line popped into her head, and smacked her computer impatiently.

"Where are you, asshole!" She had the clue, and it meant NOTHING to her. What good was a clue if you couldn't figure out what it meant?

"Wait!" She sat up straight as she got an idea. She quickly typed the line into the chat, asking the girls if they knew what it was.

She watched as a flurry of gibberish passed by her screen, the usual mess of 'who's your favorite,' and 'they're all gay,' until one girl said, "Let's Have A Party."

"What??" Tara typed back, simultaneously hoping that was, and wasn't, the answer to her question. Not when it could mean…

"That's from Let's Have a Party," the response came back quickly.

Tara's breath caught in her throat as she stared at her computer in horror. The party.

Oh god. His first strike was going to be tonight.

And there was nothing she could do to stop him.

***

"AJ, slow down," Kevin said in exasperation, watching the man down another shot of tequila.

"Fuck no," AJ banged his glass on the bar, yelling at the bartender for a refill. "I dunno about you, Train, but that Agent didn't do shit to make me feel better about what's going on."

"I'm with Bone, if anything, she just made me feel worse," Nick agreed. "If the FBI doesn't know what's going on, then nobody does."

"They'll figure something out," Kevin said confidently. "She said her partner's working on it."

"Yeah, well, still doesn't help us much right now," Brian said, shaking his head. "We're going off on tour, and this guy could be anywhere. We could be rolling into his home town next week, for all we know."

"You're gonna drive yourself nuts if you think that way," Howie said softly, touching Brian's shoulder. "We're fine."

"For now."

"Calm down…" AJ's word ended in a groan, and the glass in his hand went clattering to the bar as he doubled over. "Fuck," he cursed.

"AJ?" Kevin asked with alarm, bending down to look into his face. "What's wrong?"

"My stomach, god, fuck," AJ began breathing heavily, his eyes wide in pain. He stood up on shaky legs, before nearly falling over, both hands clutching the bar to keep him upright. "I need to get out of here," he panted, his face flushing bright red.

"We'll get you back to the hotel," Kevin slipped an arm around AJ's shoulder, as Nick did the same to his other.

"No, bathroom," AJ barely got the words out before he vomited, Howie and Brian jumping out of the way. "Sorry," he said weakly, without the strength to even curse what he'd done. Puking at a party. How uncool.

"Bathroom it is," Kevin and Nick quickly got AJ into the bathroom, and watched as he continued to throw up. Howie and Brian followed them in, watching AJ with concern.

"Kev, he don't look good," Nick whispered, his eyes widening when AJ began dry heaving, without anything left to lose in his stomach, but his body still trying to expel something.

"I know," Kevin said softly, chewing his bottom lip as he pondered what to do.

AJ finally let go of the toilet bowl he'd been huddled over and sprawled out on the bathroom floor, holding his stomach. "I didn't drink too much man, I know what that feels like," he said softly, groaning when his body cramped again. "Christ," he doubled over into the fetal position, crying out in pain. God this hurt. What the hell was wrong with him….

"Nick, go call an ambulance," Kevin said quickly.

"Kev? You sure?" Nick looked from Kevin to AJ curled up on the floor, then back to Kevin. AJ looked bad, but an ambulance meant publicity, which meant a world of embarrassment for AJ…

"Do it," Kevin said firmly. As Nick took off, he sat down next to AJ, wiping the sweat off of his forehead gently. "Just hang in there Bone, you're gonna be ok."

"I don't know, Kev, I never felt like this," AJ whispered, letting Kevin pull him into a hug as if he were a child.

"You're going to be ok," Kevin said again, rubbing AJ's back as he shuddered in pain. "I swear, you're going to be ok."

***

Chapter 4

Nick, Kevin, Howie and Brian sat in the hospital waiting room, all nervous and desperate for word that AJ was ok. They all kept shooting anxious looks at their bodyguards, sitting a fair distance away, but still close enough to protect them.

"Do you think that was the guy?" Brian finally asked the question everyone had been thinking. "Did he poison AJ?"

"Let's wait until we hear from the doctor," Kevin replied, shaking his head. "AJ was drinking like there was no tomorrow, he could have just had too much."

"He didn't drink that much," Nick argued. "Plus, you saw how much pain he was in, you don't really hurt like that when you drink too much, you just throw up."

Kevin just pursed his lips and stared at the floor, wishing the doctor would show up soon. He jumped up when he heard the door to the room open, accosting the white-coated doctor before he could walk fully into the room. "Is AJ ok?"

The doctor looked at him solemnly, and nodded. "Yes, he is, but…." He looked at the group gathered, a curious expression crossing his face. "How long as he been under treatment for alcoholism?"

Kevin's eyes widened, and he stared at the doctor, "what?"

"AJ IS under treatment for alcoholism, isn't he?"

"AJ's no alcoholic," Nick said angrily. "Is he ok, or isn't he? That's all we wanna know."

"AJ is fine," the doctor said firmly. "But he should have known that drinking, with the medication he is on, is a dangerous thing."

"What medication are you talking about?" Howie asked, looking at the doctor in confusion. "He's not on anything."

The doctor's own face grew confused, and he looked at Howie. "We found a large amount of Disulfiram in his bloodstream…he's not taking it by prescription?"

"What is it, and why would he be?" Brian asked.

"It's used to treat alcoholism, well, it was, it's rarely given anymore, but…" the doctor looked at the expression on everyone's faces, and frowned. "It causes a violent physical reaction when mixed with alcohol."

"Used to treat alcoholism," Kevin said dully, before turning to look at his bodyguard and telling him to call the FBI. "Can we see AJ now?" He asked, returning his attention to the doctor.

"Yes, you can take him home, he just needed to get the alcohol out of his system," the doctor said. "Tell your friend that he shouldn't drink on Disulfiram anymore, though, while it won't kill him, the side effects are unpleasant, as they are meant to be."

"He's not a goddamn…" Nick started, but Kevin waved at him to be silent.

"Yes, thank you," Kevin said kindly. "Where is he?"

The doctor pointed towards AJ's room, and they all headed in.

"Hey," AJ was lying on his back in the hospital bed, and he sat up when they walked in, forcing a weak smile onto his face. "So, the doctor told you?"

"AJ, why didn't you tell us you were trying to stop drinking," Kevin said softly, sitting down on the bed next to him.

AJ rolled his eyes and hit Kevin's leg with a groan, "because I'm not, asswipe. I didn't take anything."

"But, the doctor said…"

"But I didn't take anything," AJ said harshly, glaring at Kevin. "Jesus, even I'm not that stupid, if I was on some shit that was gonna make me feel like that if I drank, I wouldn't have."

"Then how'd you get it, Bone?" Nick asked with concern, walking around to the other side of the bed and sitting down. "You were watching your drinks, weren't you? The FBI told us…"

AJ sighed, and shrugged, "I was a little drunk, Nicky, I guess I might have gone to the bathroom and left it on a table once or twice."

"AJ, after everything we heard today…" Kevin sighed. "You were supposed to be careful."

"Christ, I will be now," AJ replied, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know if I'm ever gonna drink again, that was awful."

"Hurt us with what means the most to us," Brian shook his head sadly. "AJ, alcohol."

"Alcohol does not mean the most to me," AJ shot back angrily. "That's bullshit."

"This guy thinks it does, apparently," Howie agreed with Brian. "Look what he did? You couldn't keep it down."

AJ shivered, "that's just spooky."

"He got to us," Brian said grimly. "That's what he wanted to do. Show us he could get to us."

"Well, he showed us alright," Nick frowned. "So what do we do now?"

"You don't say anything," Agent Palmer walked into the hospital room, nodding at everyone. "AJ, how do you feel?"

"Pretty fucking awful, thanks for asking," he said sarcastically. "Where the hell were you when this guy poisoned me?"

"We had no idea he was going to try something tonight," she said apologetically. "We're going to need to be more careful from now on."

"What do you mean, we don't say anything?" Kevin asked her. "I called an ambulance, the press is going to be all over this."

"They'll keep quiet," Agent Palmer said firmly. "He wants you to be afraid, he wants to know he's getting to you. You can't give him what he wants. You say nothing, and start your tour as you are supposed to."

"Just pretend nothing happened?" Howie asked in disbelief. "Look what he did to AJ!

He could have just as easily put something worse into his drink and really hurt him!"

"As I told you, this guy doesn't want to kill you," she replied evenly. "That's your biggest advantage right now. He won't kill you until you're all afraid."

"So we have to pretend nothing's going on, and we're not the slightest bit worried?"

Kevin asked.

"Exactly."

Nick ran a hand through his hair, "that's not gonna be easy, not now."

"You're telling me," AJ muttered.

"You're going to have to. It will keep you alive," Agent Palmer said, looking at AJ. "I'm going to head over to The Firm, I need to find out who had access to that room. I'll be in touch, ok?"

"Find out who the hell did this, and stop him before he does anything worse," AJ replied with a frown. "I don't like playing this game."

"We will," she reassured them as she turned to leave. "I promise, we will.'

***

"Oh, and the webpage is back," Tara rolled her eyes when she saw the url referenced in an e-mail. She sighed and clicked on the link, watching as the now familiar logo appeared. Her eyes widened when she saw a "new" image next to the link to the diary, and she clicked on it, wondering what she was going to see.

She had scoured the news reports over the past few days, looking for some report on what had happened at the party for the Backstreet Boys. Andy had said something about the guys leaving early, but that was all, no mention of anyone getting hurt, and thank GOD no mention of anyone getting killed.

"But…." She whispered in disbelief when she read the diary page, which proclaimed

'Strike one, success!' in big red letters. There had been NOTHING in the papers!!

According to this, AJ had been poisoned, he'd been slipped some drug that had interacted with the alcohol he'd been drinking, and had ended up in the hospital. She stared at the picture on the website, showing the contents of a pill capsule being poured into a drink. "He was at the party?" She said in amazement, shaking her head. But Andy had said security was so tight….how had this guy gotten in.

Maybe he was really just full of shit? AJ was fine, the papers would have said something if he'd been hurt, wouldn't they?

But here was his second hint, for his second strike.

"I never thought that I would lose my mind, that I could control this. Never thought that I'd be left behind, that I was stronger than you. One marriage every 10 minutes in this town, or so the locals like to say. The Backstreet Boys roll in, but someone won't roll out..."

Tara shivered, and bit her lip, staring at the words on the screen. "One marriage every 10 minutes?" She whispered to herself, picking up her coffee and taking a sip. "Where the hell is that?"

Aah well, for now, she would do what she could. One click, and the webpage, and the account, were gone.

***

Tara walked into Andy's apartment after work, rolling her eyes when she heard loud music coming from the living room. "Hellooooo?" She called.

"Backstreet central's this way, darlin," he called back.

Tara laughed, and made her way through the apartment, her eyes widening at the group of people gathered around the living room. "Hi?"

"Hey, everyone, meet Tara," Andy stood up and gave her a hug. "Tara, you know Jessica, and then Alison, this is Mark, and Paul."

Tara waved at everyone, before yanking on Andy's arm, "can we talk for a minute?"

"Sure…"

"In private?" She added, gesturing to the other room.

"Oh, sure." Andy told his guests he'd be back in a minute, and followed her out of the room. "What's up?"

"Did anyone get hurt at the party for the Backstreet Boys?" Tara sat down in a chair and looked up at him hopefully.

Andy sat down across from her and shook his head, "no, you already asked me that, babe, I told you, they left early since they had their tour kicking off the next day."

"And that's it?"

"That's it." Andy looked at her closely, before sighing heavily. "You're still worried about this guy?"

Tara bit her lip hard as tears filled her eyes, blinking rapidly. She was NOT going to cry over the goddamn Backstreet Boys. Jesus. "I know I'm acting nuts, Andy, but I swear to god, he is going to hurt them. He says he already has! I have to do something."

"Like…?"

"Do you have their tour schedule?"

Andy got up and walked over to his computer, pulling up a website. "Right there babe, for the world to see."

"And if I wanted to meet them, how would I do it?" Tara asked, leaning over his shoulder to read the dates listed.

"Keep dreaming?"

"Very funny," she sighed.

"I'm serious, Tar, you're not going to. Well, you will, when they hit here in a month, I got us backstage passes for that."

"You're not going to take one of your Backstreet buddies out there?" Tara asked, waving out to the living room, where she could hear squeals of laughter.

"Please, and have them fight me for the boys?" Andy rolled his eyes. "I'm better off taking you. I KNOW you don't want any of them."

Tara smiled, and nodded. "Now that's true." She continued peering at the screen, frowning at a date listed in two days. Las Vegas. "A marriage every ten minutes," she whispered.

"What?"

"Can you print this for me?"

"Sure…" Andy printed off a copy of the tour dates, and handed it to Tara. "Now, babe, if you're going to go follow the Boys around the country, you better call me first."

Tara sighed, and shook her head, "Don't worry about me, Andy. I may just have to take a road trip, that's all." She turned to leave, waving the paper at him. "Thanks for this.."

Andy grabbed her shoulders and turned her around, looking at her closely. "Are you ok?

I mean, Tara, this isn't like you, getting all swept up by, of all things, the Backstreet Boys."

She shook her head and sighed. "No, I'm not ok. But if I take a little trip, I think I just might be. See for myself if this guy is full of shit or not."

"He is, baby, trust me."

"I really hope you're right, Andy," she sighed. "For their sake, and mine."

***

Kevin, Nick and AJ were in their dressing room, getting ready for the night's performance, when Brian ran in, his face white as a ghost. "He just called me," he said, shaking from head to toe.

"Who just called you?" Kevin asked, staring at his cousin. "Brian?" He walked over to him and hugged him, murmuring for him to calm down.

"I can't calm down Kevin, this is bad, and nobody's doing anything to stop it!" Brian pushed Kevin away, and shook his head. "I'm sending Leighanne home tonight, I don't want her around this. You should do the same with Kristen."

"What did he say?" AJ asked.

"He sang to me," Brian shuddered, and waved off Kevin's attempt to hug him again, sitting down in a chair. "He fucking SANG one of our songs to me."

"Which song?" Nick asked.

"Was he any good?" AJ cracked, rolling his eyes when nobody laughed. "Ok, I TRY to lighten the mood here…"

"Don't Wanna Lose You Now," Brian said, hugging his arms across his chest. "We should cancel the tour now, this is insane…"

"All he did was slip something into Bone's drink, anyone could have done that, Brian,"

Kevin said softly. "He's just trying to scare us."

"Well goddammit, it's working!" Brian's voice raised in a panicked tone. "What is that song supposed to mean? What is he doing?"

"Never thought that I would lose my mind, that I could control this," Nick sang softly, running a hand through his hair. "It's a love song, who knows what it could mean."

"Hurt what we love most, that's his shtick, right?" AJ sat down, and thought carefully.

"That's why he got me with alcohol, and he's said what he wants to do to Brian and Nicky."

"So who's that song for?" Nick asked.

"Either me or Howie, I guess," Kevin sighed. "We'll call the FBI after the show, let them know. Ok?"

Brian shook his head slowly, "no, Kevin. Not ok. Not anywhere near it."

***

The next night, Tara found herself in her car after work, on the road to Las Vegas. She'd gotten some advice from Andy on how to find the guys, but once she found them, it would be entirely up to her to convince them she wasn't insane.

"And how the hell do I do that," she muttered, smacking the steering wheel with her hand. And how was she gonna figure out what was supposed to happen tonight, even.

Andy had said that the Backstreet Boys would probably leave after the night's show for the next town, so the trick would be to catch them at their hotel going out to their tourbuses. Back entrance was best, he said, and late at night, 12 - 1am was her best bet.

She popped the Backstreet CD she'd swiped from Andy into the car's stereo, and settled in for the ride, listening to the lyrics carefully. "Vapid, boring music," she grumbled, fighting the urge to eject the cd. Her ears perked up when she heard the line from the latest 'clue' sung by a whiny voice, and she turned up the music, listening to the words carefully.

"It's a love song," she said, then laughed. "What else do the Backstreet Boys sing, except love songs, please…" she sighed, and continued to listen. Ok, so it was about LOSING

someone you love. So for this guy….he'd threatened Kevin's wife once before.

That was it, then. Kevin's wife. The one who wouldn't be rolling out.

"Oh jesus christ," she cursed, and pushed down on the gas pedal. Now that she'd figured it out, she had to get to Vegas, and soon.

Because he was going to kill Kevin's wife.

***

Chapter 5

"Where the fuck are they," Tara grumbled, holding her cup of coffee tight in her hands.

It was 2am, and she had been standing outside by the tour busses for nearly four hours now. At least she was alone, she thought to herself, it would hopefully make it easier for her to talk to the guys. Earlier, there had been a fair number of girls waiting out here, but they had left as the hour grew late.

Tara sat down on the sidewalk and yawned, fighting to stay awake. She shivered, and wrapped her arms around herself, wondering why on earth nobody ever told her Las Vegas got so cold at night. "It's a fucking desert, for chrissakes," she grumbled.

She jumped up when she saw the back door to the hotel opening, and ran towards the man who came out, instantly recognizing Brian Littrell. "Brian? Brian…oof," she ran directly into a wide arm blocking her path, and nearly fell down. "Hey! I need to talk to Brian!"

"Back off," the large man said to her, holding her back until Brian was safely on his tour bus.

"But," she stammered, watching helplessly as the man got on the bus, and it left.

"GODDAMMIT," she cursed, shaking her head. One down, four to go, god, how was she going to do this…

Tara stared at the door, willing it to open again. "Come on, come out," she muttered, bouncing up and down to stay awake. Now she was ready, she knew what to do.

Finally, the door opened, and two guys walked out, followed by two large bodyguards.

"AJ! Nick!" Tara ran towards them, this time anticipating the bodyguard's reaction, and ducking under the arm he put out to stop her. "AJ!"

"Hey baby, you want me to sign something?" AJ turned towards her, a half smile on his face. He looked at her face, then down to her hands, frowning when he saw they were empty. He shot a panicked look at Nick, who had stopped as well, checking Tara over.

"AJ, how do you feel?" She said quickly, knowing she had an instant before the bodyguards yanked her away from him.

"What?" AJ pulled off his sunglasses to stare at her.

"The poisoning, are you ok?" Tara asked again.

AJ's mouth dropped open, and he backed away from her, "look, lady, I don't know who the hell you think you are…"

"I know what he's doing! He's been posting it all on a website, please, I know what he's going to do next!" Tara felt the bodyguards grab her arms, and screamed, kicking out at them to stop. "You have got to listen to me, I can't stop him!"

"Get on the bus, AJ," Nick shoved AJ towards the bus, his eyes still fixed on Tara struggling against his bodyguard.

Tara groaned when she felt an arm wrap itself around her waist, squeezing her tight.

"Don't Wanna Lose You Now," she cried, before the arm shoved itself into her stomach, forcing her to double over.

"Wait," Nick was halfway onto his bus when he heard that, and he turned around, looking at her carefully. "Let her go," he said to the bodyguard.

"No way," The man had picked Tara up and was preparing to carry her far away from his clients, not wanting to risk any danger to them.

"You're hurting her, put her down!" Nick said fiercely, glaring at the man.

"She could be the freak," AJ poked his head outside of the bus to warn Nick.

"She's not," Nick replied, waving at AJ to come back out.

"She tried to attack you, man," the bodyguard warned.

"I'm trying to warn you!" Tara felt tears well up in her eyes at the pain in her stomach, and struggled helplessly against the arms holding her tight. "Please?" She pleaded, staring at Nick. "Nobody else will listen to me."

"Let her go," Nick insisted.

"Fine," the bodyguard dropped Tara, smirking when she fell to the ground at his feet.

Tara landed on her knees, grunting in pain. She struggled to catch her breath, accepting the hand that was offered to help her stand up. "Thanks," she said softly, standing and finding herself looking up at Nick.

"What did you say?" Nick asked her, tilting his head to look into her eyes as best he could in the darkness.

"I said," Tara gasped and pressed a hand into her stomach, god, that man had grabbed her hard. "I said I know what he's going to do next."

"What's he gonna do?" AJ climbed down off the bus, and glared at her suspiciously.

"How the hell do you know? And how'd you know about me? NOBODY knows that!"

"He put it on his website," Tara replied, wobbling awkwardly on her feet. "He's put everything on his website, complete with pictures. He's scaring the shit out of your fans."

"He's scaring the shit out of us," Nick muttered, receiving an elbow in the ribs from AJ

for his comment. "Fuck, man…"

"We're not supposed to say anything," AJ reminded him.

"She knows, Bone," Nick shot back. He turned his gaze back to Tara just in time to see her trying to sit back down, and grabbed her arm, hauling her up. "Hey, don't zone out on us yet."

"I can't stand up anymore," she said weakly, clutching his arm. "It's been a really long day, I'm sorry, I'm kind of a mess."

"Come on my bus, you can sit there, ok?" Nick said kindly, leading her towards the bus.

"Nick, you're being awful nice to her," AJ warned. "This could be really stupid."

"Or really smart," Nick argued. He lead Tara onto the bus and sat her down, waving to AJ to join them. "Now finish telling us when this guy is going to act next."

"Tonight," Tara said grimly. "Something with Kevin's wife. The guy had said she won't roll out….I'm guessing it means he's done something to the bus."

"To the bus?" AJ's brow furrowed. "A driver's been on that bus for ages, Kristen's probably getting on it right now, when would anyone have done anything?"

"Don't let her get on that bus!" Tara's eyes widened with alarm, and she looked from Nick to AJ and back again, panicking when they didn't react. "Goddammit, nobody fucking believes me! You have got to stop her!"

"Calm down," Nick said soothingly. "I'm sure she'll be fine."

"Fuck you all, goddamn pansy ass pretty boys," Tara cursed, standing up and awkwardly making her way off the bus, ignoring the laughter she could hear following her off. She climbed off in time to see Kevin walking out, and ran over to him, before a bodyguard's arm smacking her in the face stopped her. She ignored the pain and screamed at him,

"Kevin, get your wife off that bus now!!"

Kevin looked at her and stopped walking, turning to face her. "Pardon?"

"I'll explain later, but please, trust me, get your wife off of that bus," Tara said again, shoving at the bodyguard trying to grab hold of her. "Let me go, goddammit!"

"She says something's wrong with the bus, Train," AJ walked off of the other bus to look at Kevin. "What could it hurt, right? Get her off."

"Fine," Kevin walked over to his bus and called for his wife to get off. He told the bus driver to drive the bus around the corner, and they'd meet him there. He turned around to look at Tara, "So why the big…." His sentence was interrupted by a loud bang from inside the bus, and his head whipped around to stare at it. "What the…"

"Oh god," Tara shuddered, staring at the bus.

The driver reopened the door and climbed down off of the bus, staring at Kevin in horror. "I put the bus in gear, and something blew up in back, I don't know what the hell happened…"

Kevin bounded aboard the bus and stared at the back, which had been completely destroyed by the explosion. "Holy shit," he cursed, walking back off to grab his wife in a tight hug.

"You were right," AJ said softly, touching Tara's shoulder lightly.

"Yeah. I know," she replied grimly, her eyes fixed on Kevin and Kristen. "But, I don't get it, that would have killed Kevin?"

"Nope," Nick explained. "Security reasons, the buses are always in gear before we get on them. Kristen was on the bus already, the driver would have put it in gear before Kevin got on, and then…"

"Bang," AJ finished his sentence.

"Oh god," Tara said again, running a hand through her hair and breathing heavily. "He's really doing this."

Kevin looked at Tara, then his bodyguard. "You're going to take Kristen to the airport, and put her on the first plane back home, understand?" He ignored Kristen's pleas, and shook his head, turning to her, "baby, I want you safe, and you're not safe here anymore.

Brian was right, I should have sent you home days ago." He watched as she got into a car with his bodyguard, returning to Tara when it had safely pulled away. "Now, how did you know that, and who the hell are you?"

Tara took a deep breath, her knees wobbling as the adrenaline keeping her moving began to leave her body. "My name is Tara, and I'm," she stopped and grabbed her head as a wave of dizziness swept over her. "Your bodyguards…" was all she got out before she fell over, hitting the ground hard.

"You're hurt," Kevin said softly, bending down and helping her back up. "I think its safe to say we're not going anywhere tonight, will you come inside with us?"

Tara looked into Kevin's eyes, and nodded. She'd come all this way to talk to them, she wasn't about to back down just because she'd been beaten up a little by some bodyguards.

"Ok." Kevin barked at the bodyguards standing around watching, telling them to let the hotel know they weren't leaving, and they were all going to spend the night. Orders given, he slipped an arm around Tara's waist, and helped her walk into the hotel.

A few minutes later, Tara found herself settled on a couch in what had to be the largest hotel room she had ever seen in her life. "Thanks," she murmured, accepting the glass of water AJ handed her. She looked around the room and smiled at them, grateful for their kindness, given what had just happened.

At the knock on the door, Nick got up and let Howie in, "we thought he should hear whatever you had to say," he explained. "I'd introduce you, D, but I don't know her either," he then explained to Howie, who replied with a confused shrug.

"So," Kevin sat down next to her and looked her over, frowning at her face. "You're going to have a nasty bump there, want some ice?"

He was already half out of his seat before she told him no. "I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"It's just one more bump," Tara said softly, gingerly pressing a hand into her stomach.

Her head, her knees, her face, what was one more.

"You went to a lot of trouble to save my wife tonight," Kevin said, sitting back down and turning to her. "Why?"

Tara smiled wryly, and began explaining the entire story. She watched Kevin, AJ, Nick, and Howie carefully as she spoke, wondering what they thought of the story, and of her believability. She had to admit, if she was just hearing it from some stranger she would be questioning their sanity. But after everything she'd seen, she was now more sure than ever that she was right, and this guy was determined to hurt them. "When I saw you guys were playing Vegas tonight, I knew that line meant he was going to strike here. I had to stop him," she finished, biting her lip as she looked around the room. "You probably all think I'm insane," she sighed, shaking her head. "I had to try…."

"I just saw my bus blown up in front of my own eyes," Kevin said wryly. "I don't know what's sane anymore."

"And you know far too much," AJ said, his eyes narrowing at her. "Either you're the one doing this, or you're telling the truth."

"I can show you his website, next time he puts it up," Tara said quickly. "I mean, I killed his account again today. But I'm sure he'll be back, he always comes back."

"Why haven't you gone to the police?" Nick asked her. "We're working with the FBI, they should know about this."

"I can't," she said sadly. "I asked our lawyer more times than I can count by now, I begged him to let me tell someone, he said no."

"So you came here?"

"I had to do something. After what he said happened to AJ," she looked at him consolingly. "I couldn't stand by and watch anyone else get hurt." She ended her sentence with a loud yawn, and smiled apologetically. "Sorry, it's been a very strange night."

"That's ok, I think we're all pretty exhausted," Kevin agreed. "Do you have someplace to stay tonight? You can't drive home now."

Tara stared at Kevin dully, then shook her head. "Honestly, I hadn't thought past getting here and getting your attention." She shrugged, "I can probably drive back tonight just fine…"

"No you're not," he insisted. "We have big enough rooms, you can stay with one of us."

"No, really, I can't put you out," she argued, standing up and stretching. "I'll be fine."

"You're staying with me, and that's that," Nick stood up and put an arm around her shoulder, smiling at her. "I got a couple bedrooms in my suite, you can have one all to yourself."

"Ooh, lucky me," she said sarcastically.

"Why do I get the feeling you're not the slightest bit impressed by us?" AJ asked her, standing up and walking with her and Nick to the door.

"Because I'm not?"

"Gotcha."

"We'll talk some more in the morning," Kevin walked over and pulled her in for a tight hug. "I owe you so much, thank you."

"You don't owe me anything," Tara argued, pulling away and fighting back a blush. "I did what I had to."

"You saved Kristen's life. I owe you the world," Kevin replied. "Take good care of her tonight, Nick," he smiled, and showed them out.

Tara followed Nick down the hall, her head spinning from the events of the night. He waved her in to another huge suite, and she sat down on the couch, shaking her head.

"This is far too much room for one person," she remarked, looking around in awe.

"Probably," Nick agreed, plopping down next to her with a silly grin. "I manage to use it all up somehow."

"How?" She challenged.

"One room for Nintendo, one for Playstation, one for Dreamcast, one for my dogs, when they're here." Nick stopped, and looked around. "What else. One for my luggage…"

"Ok, ok, I get the point," Tara snickered, and shook her head. "And Andy teases me for having a separate tv for my consoles."

"Andy?"

"Just a friend," she said softly, staring out into the distance. "God, would he die if he knew where I was right now."

"He a fan?" Nick asked.

She nodded, "oh yeah."

"You a fan?" Nick asked coyly.

"Oh no." She laughed, and shook her head. "Sorry. Just not my thing."

"So why did you go through all of this to let us know what was going on? If you're not a fan, I mean, why did you care?" Nick asked her softly, moving closer to her on the couch.

"I had to," Tara replied, her eyes widening when Nick moved even closer. She shifted away, and sighed, "nobody else believed me. I couldn't let someone die before I did something, even if it was a Backstreet Boy he wanted to kill."

"Thank you," Nick said softly, touching the bruise forming on the side of her face. "You really did save Kristen's life tonight."

"I know," Tara looked away from him, feeling tears fill her eyes. "You don't know what relief it is, knowing that finally, someone believes me," her words caught in a sob, and she turned her body away, determined not to let him see her cry.

"We all believe you, Tara," Nick's hand slid to her shoulder and squeezed it gently. When she didn't reply, he pulled her into his arms, holding her tight as she began to cry.

"You've been through a lot, huh," he said consolingly.

"Just worried I was losing my mind, with the stuff this guy was doing," she sniffled, and pulled away. "I'm tired, I'm normally not this weepy, I swear," she chuckled, and wiped at her eyes.

"I like weepy," Nick smiled, and wiped her cheek with his fingers.

Tara stared at him for a moment, before squirming out of his grasp and standing up. "So, um, which bedroom's mine?"

Nick raised an eyebrow raised in surprise. Ok, THAT wasn't the reaction he'd been expecting. "Pick one," he shrugged, standing up.

"Thanks," Tara smiled at him. "I guess I'll take that one," she pointed. She walked into the room, pausing with her hand on the door, feeling like she was supposed to say something. Nick was still standing by the couch, watching her with a stunned expression on his face. "Thanks, Nick," she said softly, smiling lightly at him.

"No problem. Goodnight, Tara," he smiled back.

"Goodnight," she said, and closed the door.

***

Chapter 6

Tara awoke to a soft knocking on the bedroom door. She wrapped the blanket around herself and got up, opening the door to reveal a grinning Nick on the other side, dressed in a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. "Good morning."

"Morning," Nick smiled at her. He held up a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt, "I figured you might need some clean clothes."

"Oh! Thanks," Tara accepted the clothes gratefully, seeing as she'd just slept in the one shirt she had with her, something else to wear was much appreciated.

"No problem," Nick watched her set the clothes down on the bed, his eyes widening when the blanket fell off of her shoulders and to the floor, revealing her bare legs. "Kevin came by earlier, he said we should eat breakfast, then he wants to talk. Sound good?"

"Sure," Tara sat down on the bed and pulled on the sweatpants, rolling her eyes when she saw Nick staring. "You gonna get dressed too?" She asked him pointedly, looking at his boxers.

Nick shifted uncomfortably, feeling her eyes on his crotch. "Yeah, I'll see you in a few,"

he closed the door behind him as he left the room.

Tara couldn't help but laugh once he left, shaking her head. "Such a silly pretty boy," she whispered, standing up and groaning when his sweatpants immediately fell down. "Now, how am I going to get these things to stay up," she frowned. Nick had to be nearly a foot taller than her, and probably a good hundred pounds heavier, no wonder his pants didn't seem to like her body much. She pulled at the drawstring on the sweatpants, and rolled up the bottoms, laughing at her own appearance.

"Good thing you're not trying to impress anyone, Tar," she told herself, slipping off her t-shirt and pulling on the hooded sweatshirt he'd given her. He did have great sweats though, she had to admit that, nice and soft. She was very much a fan of comfy sweats, even when the sweatshirt did go down to her knees. She ran her hands through her hair in an attempt to brush it, before giving up, opening the door and walking into the main room of the suite.

Nick looked up from the menu he had been examining when she walked into the room, immediately bursting into laughter at the sight of her. "Hey, I thought there was a girl sleeping in that room, but I don't know, all I see now are some sweats that appear to be walking all on their own?"

"Shut up," Tara waved the sweatshirt arms at him, but laughed just the same. She definitely was a sight to see in his clothes. "Not my fault you're too big for your own good."

"Hey, you don't even know me, how do you know I'm too big for my own good?" Nick smirked at her. "Could be I'm very good with my size."

Tara groaned and sat down next to him, grabbing the menu off of his lap. "You always such a smartass?"

"I try," Nick replied, snatching the menu back. "I wasn't done."

"You said we'd eat breakfast," she reminded him.

"And we will."

"Then let me look," she said, smiling happily when he tilted the menu so she could read.

"I haven't eaten a thing since early yesterday, I'm starving." She examined the menu closely and decided what she wanted.

Nick placed the call to room service, sighing heavily when he hung up. "Why does it always have to take an hour? No matter where you are, room service always takes an hour. So much faster if you're just downstairs…"

"You whine, you know that?" Tara remarked, getting up to examine the spacious suite.

Last night she'd been in such a daze, all she'd seen was a huge room. But now that she could actually think, wow, this was an amazing room. "Is this a hottub?" Her eyes widened, and she knelt down to stick a hand in the water.

"Yeah, wanna swim, baby?" Nick cooed, laughing when she rolled her eyes at him. "No?"

"Breakfast is coming."

"In an hour."

"So the life of a Backstreet Boy, that's what you do?" Tara asked him bluntly, returning to the couch and curling up with her knees inside the sweatshirt.

"What, hottubs before breakfast?"

"You tell me," she shrugged.

"No." Nick chuckled. "Normally it's up at the crack of dawn to work."

"Why's today different, then?"

"Because Kevin's bus blew up last night," Nick said, his expression growing serious. He shook his head, "I still can't believe that happened."

Tara sighed, "unfortunately, I can."

"I'm also pretty amazed by you."

"Amazed by me?"

"I mean," Nick stammered, and blushed. "Figuring out what he was up to and all. Not many people would have done that."

"Trust me, if I didn't have to, I wouldn't have," she replied evenly. "I just…I couldn't stand by and let someone die. Even someone I didn't know. I'd been hoping it was all some freak, but when I saw the pictures from the party, I knew…he was for real."

Nick shuddered, "AJ was in bad shape that night."

"I can imagine."

An awkward silence fell over them, as each examined the other closely, trying to play mind reader. Neither really knew anything about the other, but they were making assumptions, as people always do. Assumptions that were rarely correct…

"How do you do it?" Tara finally broke the silence, looking into Nick's eyes as she asked her question.

"Do what?"

"Go on. Knowing what this guy wants to do to you."

Nick shrugged, "what am I going to do, hide? I thought he was a quack, I mean, strangling me with my playstation controllers?"

"Not that," Tara said softly, shaking her head. "That's later. You figured out that much, right? He's torturing each of you, then killing you. AJ's torture was alcohol, Kevin's, his wife. Yours…" her words trailed off, and she frowned when Nick just stared at her in confusion. "Don't tell me I know more about this guy than you do."

"You told us a lot last night we didn't know. So yeah, I guess you do…"

"Oh." Tara looked away from Nick, and stared at the floor, wondering if she'd said too much. "Forget it, then."

"No, wait, you said you know how he's going to torture me?"

Tara nodded slowly, "and Howie, and Brian."

"Same theme as the death? With what we love?"

"Yeah, a game."

Nick giggled, "torture my playstation? Or my nintendo? Poor little Pokemon…"

"Make you live out a game," Tara said softly, raising her eyes to meet Nick's. "He said you should check out a certain game, because you were going to live it out."

Nick looked back at her, and shrugged. "That doesn't sound too bad."

"This game…."

"What is it?"

"D2."

Nick continued to stare at her blankly. "And that is…"

Tara sighed, "what, am I the only person who's ever played this game? Dreamcast game."

"That doesn't help me understand what it is."

"Ever heard of hentai, Nick?" Tara asked him, nodding when his face paled. "That's what D2 is."

"Hentai."

"My friend Andy calls it the game with the tentacle sex. But it's rape. Violent rape," Tara bit her lip, watching as Nick's face continued to crumple with her every word. "That's what this guy says he's going to do to you."

"I don't like games that much, really," Nick whispered, running a hand through his hair.

"I bet AJ doesn't like drinking that much anymore either," Tara said sadly.

"You think that's what he wanted? To turn us off of what we really like?"

She sighed, "I don't know what he wants. Only what he writes on his site, and says in the chatroom…." She gasped, and looked around the room for a clock. "Shit, what time is it?"

"Nearly 10?"

"Fuck, do you have a computer? I need to let them know I'm out sick…"

"Don't people call in sick?" Nick asked, laughing when she made a face. "Well, don't they?"

"Not at my company, ok? We e-mail in. So do you have a computer or not?"

"Sure, it's right over there," Nick waved to his laptop set up on a desk. He turned on the television and flipped channels until he found some cartoons, occupying himself while Tara dialed in and e-mailed her office.

"Thanks," Tara closed the laptop a few minutes later, e-mail sent. She returned to the couch, laughing when she saw what Nick was watching. "Cartoons?"

"You don't like?"

"I love," she smiled at him. "Andy teases me to death about it, but yeah, every Saturday morning, I'm in front of the television, watching all of them."

"Cool," Nick returned the smile, looking into her eyes. He bit his lip as he continued to stare, until he was interrupted by a knock on the door. "That's our food," he said, still gazing into her eyes.

"We should go get it, then," Tara said, raising an eyebrow at him. "Unless you'd rather just sit here all day, I swear, my eyes will still be brown after breakfast."

Nick sighed and got up to answer the door, fighting the blush he was positive was creeping over his face as he walked. What was it about this girl…. He waved the waiter in, watching as the man rolled in a cart with their food. He signed for it and closed the door behind him, before turning to Tara. "Food?"

The two moved the plates from the cart to the table and sat down, before peering at them. "Which one's mine?" Nick asked, lifting up a metal cover to look. "Yours," he passed the plate to Tara.

"Thanks," she accepted it and set it down in front of her. "So that's yours."

Nick lifted the cover, immediately dropping it with a loud curse when he saw what was under it. "Holy shit," he jumped up from the table, knocking over his chair, as he stared at the plate.

"What?" Tara stood up, staring at him. He was shaking from head to toe, and his face had gone a shade of ash gray she could swear she'd never seen on anyone's face before.

"I'm not hungry anymore," he said quickly, walking away from the table and returning to the couch.

"Nick?" Tara watched him sit down, looking at him curiously. "What was under the cover?"

Nick didn't reply, he just flicked the television back on, fixing his eyes on the screen.

"Nick?"

"Cartoons are good," he said softly, pulling his knees into his chest and hugging them tight. "I'm just going to watch cartoons."

Tara's eyes widened, "are you ok?" When he still didn't reply, she carefully lifted the cover of Nick's plate, gasping when she saw what was underneath. A copy of a Dreamcast game. D2. "Holy shit," she whispered, turning around and walking to the couch. She sat down next to Nick, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it tight. "Nick?"

"You like cartoons, right? Watch cartoons with me," he said, forcing a weak smile onto his face. "I'm not so hungry anymore."

"Neither am I," she agreed, giving his hand another squeeze. "But shouldn't you tell someone? That waiter, maybe that was the guy?"

Nick nodded slowly, "Kevin. Kevin always knows what to do." But he didn't move, except for the soft trembling of his body as he watched the screen.

"I'm going to go tell Kevin then, ok?" Tara spoke slowly, as if he were a child, looking into his eyes. When he didn't reply, she got up, leaving him on the couch as she ran down the hall. She knocked on Kevin's door and explained what had happened, and how Nick had reacted.

Kevin told her he would get AJ and Howie, and be there in a minute, that she should go back to make sure Nick was all right.

Ten minutes later, the group, minus Brian, was all gathered in Nick's room, watching him watch cartoons.

"Nicky?" Kevin said softly, patting his knee lightly. "Nick, hey, I just called Agent Palmer, she's gonna come here to get the game, ok?"

"He wants me to play it," Nick's voice sounded sluggish as he spoke, his eyes still focused on the television screen. "Maybe I should?"

"He's not going to get to you, Nick," AJ said, his voice relaying more confidence than he felt. "We got bodyguards, we'll get more, we'll be ok."

"He got to me already," Nick replied. His head slowly turned to look at Kevin, and he bit his lip hard before telling him, "he could have killed Kristen last night."

"I know, Nicky. But he didn't."

"Cartoons are better," Nick's head turned back to the television, and he hugged his knees tighter. "Cartoons don't hurt."

"Maybe we should cancel the tour," Kevin said softly, his eyes meeting AJ's, then Howie's. "At least if we're at home, we'll be in a safe, controlled environment."

"You heard the FBI lady, she said that's what he wants, for us to react and get scared,"

Howie said. "What happens if we give this guy what he wants?"

"That part of it she didn't say," Kevin replied. "I just don't know how we can tour when, well, god," he turned back to Nick and ran a hand through his blonde hair, trying to get some sort of reaction from him. "Nicky…"

"At least Brian is safe," AJ said, smiling lightly. "We know the bad guy's here."

"You've read this guy's diary, what does he say he wants?" Howie asked Tara.

She sighed, "to torture you guys. He says that you're all on top of the world, and he wants to bring you down."

"So what difference does it make if we're touring or not?" AJ frowned. "Sounds like he thinks he can get to us anywhere."

"Yeah, but he CAN'T if we're at home," Kevin argued. "I say we cancel the tour, NOW."

AJ and Howie began speaking at the same time, both arguing with Kevin why they had to keep the tour going.

"NO," Nick shouted, finally breaking out of his trance to stand up and stare at Kevin. His blue eyes were bright with tears, as he violently shook his head, "NO! We are not canceling the tour."

"But Nicky, he's here!" Kevin insisted. "We should cancel."

"I will not be a sitting duck at my own house wondering when he's coming to get me,"

Nick told Kevin, his hands balling into fists as he spoke. "I'd rather be out there, doing what I do, trying to keep my mind off of it."

Kevin sighed, and shook his head, "this isn't a good idea…"

"It's what the FBI would want us to do," AJ reminded Kevin.

"Oh, and that inspires so much confidence," Kevin said sarcastically. "Fine, we'll keep touring. Tara, you'll let us know the instant you see anything from this guy, right?"

"Totally," she nodded.

"We're gonna be real close friends from now on," AJ slung an arm around Tara's shoulders and grinned at her. "You give us all the scoop on him, we figure out how to bust him."

"You make it sound so easy," Kevin frowned. "It's not going to be that simple."

"The Feds will help," AJ said confidently. "But I know we can do it."

Tara looked at AJ, her brow crinkling. "We can?"

"You got this far, didn't you? If I'd had my way we woulda kicked you to the curb last night. Good thing Nicky took a chance on you…" AJ's words trailed off as he looked at Nick, who was standing by the window, staring outside. "Nicky?"

"The pool's red," Nick said softly, pressing a hand to the window pane. "How'd the pool get red?"

The entire group stood up and ran to the window, Tara gasping in horror when she saw what Nick was talking about. The water in the pool outside was blood red, and a crowd had formed, staring at the strange sight. "Oh god," she whispered.

"You'll help us, Tara?" Howie asked her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Look at this, we need your help."

She nodded, and sighed. So she hadn't wanted to play heroine, but it sure looked as if someone else wanted her to. "Yeah, I'll help you."

***

Chapter 7

Tara walked inside her apartment, breathing a sigh of relief to be back on home turf.

Things had just been far too scary in Las Vegas, from the explosion on Kevin's bus, to the game in Nick's breakfast, and the pool…. She shuddered at the memory of that pool.

"A hell of a lot of goddamn food coloring," she grumbled, shaking her head. That's what the FBI had said it was…just food coloring.

Sure.

She saw her answering machine flashing, and hit the button to play the messages, laughing when she heard Andy yelling at her to call him. Where had she been, dammit?

She sat down and bit her lip, wondering what she was going to tell him. Kevin had begged her not to tell a soul what was going on, especially not anyone who was a fan of theirs. The fewer people who knew, the better, he said, no matter how trustworthy they may be.

But how was she supposed to look Andy in the eye, and avoid telling him she'd spent last night in Nick Carter's room? He would die!!

Tara hadn't even had a chance to sit down before she heard a banging on her door. Andy.

"I know you're in there, I saw your car outside! Open up!!"

"Coming, coming," she called, opening the door and waving him in. "Hey."

"So, my source tells me…" Andy walked two steps into the house before stopping in his tracks, staring at her. "Um. Nice clothes, babe."

Tara looked down at the huge sweats she was wearing, and smiled sheepishly. "They're comfy."

"They're a little big."

"Yeah."

Andy gave her another look up and down before continuing into the apartment, throwing himself down on the couch. "So, as I was saying before your disgusting fashion sense distracted me, my source tells me AJ has stopped drinking. Completely. Kaput."

He made a face, and shook his head, "so unlike my Alex."

"Your source?" Tara snickered, and rolled her eyes. "Her name is Jessica."

"Yes, but it sounds so much better to call her my source," Andy grinned. Jessica had the same job as Andy did, working on the Backstreet Boys' website, but where he did his work from Los Angeles from the offices of the management company, Jessica did hers on tour with the group. Any time the Backstreet Boys went anywhere, she would be with them, and always filled Andy in on the gossip from the road.

"So, not drinking anymore, huh," Tara said non-chalantly, trying to sound as disinterested as she knew she normally would be. She sat down next to him and shrugged, "Who cares."

"You thought someone was going to hurt them, right? Doesn't it sound like that might have happened, then?" Andy prodded her with a finger. "Doesn't it? Something got AJ to stop drinking."

"I guess."

"What happened to your whole 'someone's going to kill the Backstreet Boys' rampage? It ended, just like that?" He scrunched up his nose and frowned. "Wait…" he leaned forward and sniffed her sweatshirt, his eyes widening comically. "I smell a MAN! Oooh,"

he sniffed again. "A man who likes expensive cologne."

"Andrew," Tara pushed his head away with a laugh. "Stop it."

"No!" Andy giggled, and jumped on Tara's lap, sticking his nose in her neck. "I smell a man! Someone got lucky…"

"What are you, a dog?" She squirmed underneath him, smacking his head. "Get off of me!"

"I'll lick you," he threatened, holding her face between his hands and staring into her eyes. "Tell me who's clothes these are."

"Mine!"

"Unless you suddenly wear hoity toity men's cologne, these are so not yours," Andy told her, squeezing her cheeks together. "Tell me!"

"Someone gave them to me," she said, her voice completely muffled by her face being smushed together.

"Now we're getting somewhere," Andy jumped off of her and back into his seat, smiling at her. "Who? Is he cute? Does he have any gay friends?"

"No he's not cute, and no he doesn't have any gay friends," Tara said flatly.

Andy sighed, and shook his head. "All right, so you didn't get laid. I would hope if you had, you wouldn't have such a stick up your ass."

"I told you I didn't."

"But these clothes do belong to a man."

"Yeah."

"Thank you," Andy crossed his arms over his chest. "Just a friend though, huh."

"If that," Tara shrugged. "I needed something to wear, that's all."

"Because you were…where?"

"Worked late. Didn't want to drive home."

"Aaaah." Andy accepted that explanation without argument, as Tara had been known to do that before. "So, my boys?"

"Yes?"

"AJ's not drinking anymore."

"So you said."

"Don't you care?"

"No," Tara stood up and yawned. "Honestly, I'm just really tired."

Andy's eyes narrowed, and he looked at her carefully. "Because you were up all night working, or doing something else?"

"Working, Andy, working," Tara rolled her eyes at him. "Now go, I'm sure Jessica has some hot gossip to share with you about what the boys are up to tonight."

"OH! I didn't tell you the capper!" Andy stood up, his eyes twinkling as he clapped. "So, you know they were in Vegas last night, well, I guess YOU don't know, but everyone else does. Anyway, Brian drove on to the next show last night, but the rest of the guys spent the night there in Vegas. Isn't that weird??"

Tara's eyes widened briefly, and she quickly turned away, not wanting Andy to attempt to read her face. "Weird."

"Jess got to spend the night in Vegas too."

"Cool," Tara stared at the floor, realizing then just how lucky she'd been not to run in to Jessica the night before. She was going to have to be careful, if she was going to keep the promise she'd made to Kevin, and not let anyone know what was going on.

"I told her to grab a boy and get married," Andy giggled. "Just not MY boy."

"Get married?"

"You know, all of those wedding chapels in Vegas. There's a wedding every ten minutes there, did you know that? Jess told me." Andy sighed, and smacked her head. "I'm going, you're no fun tonight."

"I told you, I'm tired."

"Yeah, well, go to bed, find your personality again. Ok?" He patted her head as he walked to the door.

"Right. Goodnight, Andy."

"Night my little gaming goddess," Andy chirped as he left. "So long, farewell, adieu!"

***

Tara stared at her computer screen, fighting tears. There it was, written for the world to see in the diary.

Strike two, FAILURE. THEY SHALL PAY.

And below that, a description of what he'd done when his 'strike' had failed. The game in Nick's breakfast, turning the pool red. He said that he had intended to play "nice," to take things slow. But since the Backstreet Boys were so determined to thwart him, well, no more Mr. Nice Guy.

"What exactly does he think being mean is?" Tara muttered, clicking around on the website as she read. Her eyes widened when she saw her own face staring back at her on the screen. It was a shot of her, Kevin, AJ, Nick and Howie standing in the window of Nick's room, looking down at the pool. They all looked as terrified as she'd felt at that moment, and it was captioned with the line, 'four dead rats. One live girlfriend. For now.' "I'm not a girlfriend," she took a shaky breath, and continued to read, searching for the next clue. She knew it was there somewhere…

The abuse reports kept flying in, telling her that this guy was still going into the chatrooms and scaring girls, but Tara still hadn't managed to catch him online. As soon as she did, she'd have Tommy run an IP check. Until then…all she could do was wait.

"Aaah," Tara found a link to 'strike three,' and pulled up the page. Her eyes narrowed as she read the clue being offered.

'Now I see you're just somebody who wastes all my time and money. What a lie, you and I…'

"Sure, that makes sense," she groaned, and kept reading.

'Do you ever feel like you've been lied to, oh Backstreet Boy? You got the money, but you never get to sing….'

Tara jumped when her cellphone rang, and picked it up, walking away from her desk to go outside as she answered. "Hello?"

"Tara?"

"Yes?"

"It's Kevin Richardson," a gentle voice drawled into her ear. "How are you doing?"

"Oh, Kevin, I'm glad you called," Tara said as she made her way outside. "The website's back, and there's another clue on it about the next strike."

"What does it say?"

Tara repeated the line to him, her eyes widening when Kevin didn't say anything in reply.

"Kevin? You still there?"

"Yes," his voice sounded much softer. "I'm here."

"Did that make sense to you?"

"I'm afraid so," he said sadly.

"Oh." Tara sat down on a bench outside her office, squinting in the bright sun. "I'm sorry."

"So am I."

"As soon as I can catch this guy online, we can try to figure out where he's coming from,"

she said, trying to be helpful.

"Great," Kevin's voice got stronger once again. "The FBI is tearing our hotel in Vegas apart, trying to figure out how the hell that game got up to Nick's room, and that food coloring got into the pool."

"Maybe they'll find something?"

"Maybe they will," he didn't sound like he believed that, though.

"So, um," Tara kicked at the ground, biting her lip. "Is Nick doing better? He seemed pretty shook up when I left…"

Kevin chuckled softly, "yeah, Nicky's back to his old crazy self."

"Oh good. Any luck convincing the rest of the guys to cancel the tour?"

"Nope. The FBI is behind them on that one, they think that the less we show that we know what's going on, the better off we'll be."

"Sure, that makes sense," she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Because this crazy guy knows what you're thinking and all."

"The FBI knows this stuff better than I do," Kevin said, trying to convince himself with his words.

"But this isn't happening to the FBI."

"Yeah, well," Kevin sighed heavily. "They want to talk to you."

"Me?" Tara stammered, "I can't, Kevin, I'll lose my job if anyone finds out…."

"Wait, calm down, they don't have to know. We'll fly you out this weekend, and Agent Palmer will interview you here. Ok?"

"My job will never know?" She asked doubtfully.

"I swear. We wouldn't do that to you."

"I don't know…."

"You can also catch us up on what this guy's been doing for the last couple of days.

Sound good? Call it a free vacation?"

Tara took a deep breath. Sure, a vacation where a killer was on the loose. What fun. "I guess so…."

She heard a grunt from the other end of the line, followed by the phone being dropped.

The voice that returned to the phone was not Kevin's. "Tara?"

"Yes?"

"Hey girl, it's Bone."

Tara started laughing, "who?"

"AJ?"

"Oh!" She snickered, "your nickname's Bone?"

"Yeah. Got a problem with that?"

"A better nickname for you, maybe," she teased. "How are you doing?"

"Oh, just lovely," he said sarcastically. "Kevin's running off to talk to management about something, did you say yes to this weekend?"

"Yes."

"Great! So I guess we'll see you then."

"Yup, you will." Tara stood up and stretched, sensing the conversation was over.

"Hey, Tar, before you go, now you know my nickname, what's yours?"

Tara laughed, "well, my nickname online is Katchoo, but Andy likes to call me the gaming goddess."

"Gaming goddess?" AJ laughed. "I like that one."

"What can I say, you name the game, I'll kick your ass in it."

"I'll leave that to Nicky. Bring some games, you two can have a play date," he replied with another laugh. "I'll see you Friday night, babe."

"See you then, AJ."

***

Chapter 8

"So, where ya going?" Andy was lying on his side on Tara's bed, watching her pack for the weekend.

"Just to visit some friends," she said, looking over her t-shirts and trying to decide what to bring. "Nothing special."

"Who?"

Tara returned to her closet, frowning from ear to ear. "Friends from college."

"Aaah. Those." Andy said dryly. "Berkeley kids."

"Andy…"

"Crunchy. Lovely. Don't forget your birkenstocks."

"Very funny," Tara rolled her eyes and threw a pair of sneakers into her suitcase. "It's a little cold in Michigan, you know?"

"Why are you meeting in Michigan?"

"Sarah lives there," she said quickly, biting her lip. God, she hated lying to Andy like this…

"You're not bringing any nice clothes, babe," Andy was poking through her suitcase, wrinkling his nose at the selection of jeans and t-shirts she'd chosen. "At least one girly outfit would be nice?"

"Since when do you like girly?" She teased.

"On girls, girly is fine," he retorted. "One dress. Just in case. Never know?"

"Sure, a dress and sneakers, what a look that would be."

"You would be completely lost if not for me," Andy told her, getting up and grabbing a dress from her closet. "Pack this."

"Fine," she grabbed the dress and threw it on top of the suitcase. "Happy?"

"And, um," Andy dug through the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his wallet, flipping through it with a grin. "Here," he threw a condom into the suitcase with a grin. "Just in case."

"Andy!" Tara grabbed the condom and threw it back at him. "You have more use for that than me."

"I highly doubt it," he shook his head sadly. "My boy is far far away tonight."

"Andy…"

"Oh come on, you'll bring computer games, and not condoms?" Andy held up the game box with a look of disgust. "Your priorities are so screwed up."

"Some would say the same for you," she replied. "Fine, fine," she let him put the condom back in the suitcase before zipping it closed. "I'll be back Sunday night, ok?"

"I'll have a lonely, boring, weekend without you," Andy sniffled loudly, and pouted at her.

"Miss me?"

"You know I will," Tara hugged him tight, wishing with all her heart she could tell him where she was really going. "I'll see you Sunday."

"I'm going to go call Jess. Maybe she'll keep my mind occupied this weekend with visions of a sweaty Alex dancing on stage," Andy grinned, and followed her through her apartment and out to her car. "Yes?"

"Sure, Andy, sure." Tara got into her car and started it, waving at him. "Bye!"

"Next time you come home in clothes covered with sexy men's cologne, you better have done something with the man himself, understand?" He yelled at her as she drove off.

"Make good use of my rubber!"

Tara laughed, and shook her head. Andy was an absolute riot….she would talk to Kevin this weekend about telling him the truth. Lying to him like this just wasn't fair.

"Use the rubber! Be the rubber!"

And with that thought running through her mind, Tara headed off to the airport.

***

Tara was met at the airport by one of the guys' bodyguards, who introduced himself as Billy. As they drove off in the van he'd had waiting, he apologized for hurting her earlier in Las Vegas, but said that he'd done what he had to, they had no idea who the person was who was so determined to hurt the guys.

After the short drive, they entered the hotel through the underground entrance, and Billy lead her up to the guys' hotel rooms. He knocked on a door before opening it and waving her in, "they're expecting you."

Tara walked into the room, smiling when she saw Nick getting up to welcome her.

"Hey!"

"Hey!" He walked over and grabbed her in a hug. "Have a good flight?"

"Fine," she smiled at Kevin, who was waiting for a hug. "How are you guys doing?" She asked, as she was passed from Nick to Kevin.

"We're surviving," Kevin said solemnly. "Nick, why don't you get the rest of the gang here?"

"Gotcha," Nick left the room to go bang on the appropriate doors to rally the troops.

Kevin waved her to a seat, smiling lightly at her. "We tried to get you a room of your own, but the hotel's booked solid. I hope you don't mind sharing a suite with Nick again?"

Tara laughed, "this room is bigger than my apartment, I'll be just fine."

"Good." He sat back, and ran a hand through his hair. "Agent Palmer's flying in from Washington tomorrow to talk to you, so you can just relax tonight."

"Relax? Have you been able to do much of that?" She asked him, smiling wryly when he shook his head no. "I figured."

"Howie's like the walking dead, wondering when this guy is going to do whatever he intends to do to him," Kevin said softly, frowning. "The anticipation is awful, knowing something's going to happen, but just not knowing when."

"I can imagine," Tara looked up as Nick returned to the room, followed by AJ, Howie, and Brian. "Hi," she waved.

"Hey goddess," AJ waved back, smiling at her. "Glad you made it."

"Tara, this is Brian," Nick introduced them. "He had already left Vegas by the time we met you last time."

Tara smiled weakly at Brian, "yeah, I know, I tried to stop you as you left."

Brian sat down across from her, a soft smile on his face, "I had no idea, I'm sorry."

"That's ok, at least someone stopped to listen."

"Me," Nick reminded everyone with a grin. "Thank me."

"Thank you, Nicky," Howie said, smacking his head. "Now, can we get down to business?" He wasn't much in the mood for small talk.

"I brought my laptop," Tara stood up and went to her bags, grabbing her bookbag. "I can show you guys the website, if you want."

"Show us," Kevin said, nodding for emphasis.

"Ok." Tara quickly set up her computer on the desk, waving to the guys to come around and look. She dialed into the Internet and pulled up the website. "This is it," she waved to her screen.

"Jesus christ," AJ cursed, looking over her shoulder at the site. "Pictures?"

"Yeah, that was how I was pretty sure he actually had done something at the part," Tara explained. "There are pictures on here of your drink with something being put into it."

"Go to his diary," Howie pointed to the link.

Tara clicked, her eyes widening when she saw it had been updated. "He's changed it since yesterday," she said, frowning as she read. "He knows your schedule far too well…"

"You're telling me," Kevin shuddered.

The latest diary entry was about how the boys had a night off tonight, and they would be hanging out in their hotel "safe and sound." But were they, really….strike three would be soon.

"Strike three, that's you, right?" Brian turned to Howie, a grim expression on his face.

"Sounds like it, from the clue he gave," Howie nodded slowly. "What do I do? Just wait?"

"All you can do," Nick said softly. "Can you see if this freak's online?"

Tara nodded, and clicked around, opening up a chatroom. She quickly joined, and watched as the usual gibberish flowed across the screen. Until she saw a familiar nickname enter the room. "That's him!" She jumped up and ran for her cellphone.

"Someone, talk to him, keep him online."

"You got it," Kevin slid into her seat and immediately began typing.

Tara called Tommy, and told him to run an IP trace on the nickname. She danced around impatiently, waiting for him to respond, watching the group huddled around her laptop. "What's he saying?"

"He's asking them who their favorite boy is," Kevin muttered, shaking his head. "He says that's who he'll hit next."

"Oh lovely," Tara leaned over Kevin's shoulder to read. "Oh god," she whispered, her stomach sinking when she read what had been typed into chat.

Bsbh4t3rs: Ten little Indians, all in a row. Ever read that book, oh miss katchoo? It's the story of ten sitting ducks, who are all killed off, one by one. Me, I think that went too fast. It's a lot more fun to torture your prey before killing them, isn't it?

Kevin looked at Tara for a moment, before turning back to the keyboard.

Katchoo: No, I don't. Leave them alone.

Bsbh4t3rs: They believe they are untouchable. They must learn otherwise.

Katchoo: They don't think that.

Bsbh4t3rs: No? Then why do they continue to tour? Why do they fly their girlfriends in for fun weekends, if they think they are in danger? DON'T THEY KNOW WHAT I INTEND TO DO??

Tara turned away from the computer at that, shaking her head. "Tommy, anything?" She spoke into the phone, frowning. "Please, tell me you got him."

"Ask him when the third strike is," Howie told Kevin.

"You sure?" Kevin looked at Howie questiongly. "We don't want him to know this is us talking to him."

"Why not? Why don't we just tell him it's us and ask him to stop? Tell him we'll give him whatever he wants, just stop this!" Brian's eyes were panicked as he stared at the screen.

"We know we're not untouchable, dammit!"

Katchoo: When's the third strike?

Bsbh4t3rs: that's why I'm here. Fourth just might come before third. Throw things around a little.

Katchoo: what's fourth, then?

Bsbh4t3rs: I'll update the website soon.

"Got it!"

Tara jumped at Tommy's voice in her ear, and clutched the phone tight. "So? What is it?"

"Oh," his voice fell, and she heard him sigh heavily. "You're gonna love this, Tar."

"What?"

"The IP resolves to you'll never catch me dot com," he said sadly.

"Fuck," she cursed. "Proxy?"

"Must be. Sorry, babe."

"Thanks for trying," she ran a hand through her hair, feeling totally frustrated. That had been her best shot at catching him.

"Anytime. Bye."

Tara hung up when she heard the click on the other end, and turned back to the group.

"That didn't work," she said sadly. "He's not stupid, he's masking his ip."

"Move over," Nick shoved Kevin out of the chair and sat down, staring at the monitor.

Katchoo: ok, asshole, what the fuck do u think ur doing? Whut do u want?

Bsbh4t3rs: Dead, buried, Backstreet Boys. Isn't that obvious?

Katchoo: y?

Bsbh4t3rs: Everyone needs some entertainment.

Katchoo: we wont let you do this!!!

Bsbh4t3rs: we? Who's we?

"Nick, stop it," AJ hissed, smacking his shoulder. "You're not supposed to let him know its us."

Katchoo: who ya think, idiot.

Bsbh4t3rs: I think one backstreet boy is going to be in a lot of pain tonight.

Katchoo: bsb's doing just fine.

Bsbh4t3rs: ….for now.

"Fuck," Nick cursed when he saw the other nickname leave chat. "What was that? One of us is going to be in a lot of pain tonight?"

"Nick, you weren't supposed to go off on him like that," Howie said fearfully. "That's what he wants."

"Give him what he wants, then!" Brian argued. "Maybe that'll make him stop!"

"Nothing's going to make him stop, he's insane, don't you get that?" Nick shouted, standing up and walking across the room to smack the wall. "Goddammit!" He couldn't believe he'd actually been talking to the person who was so determined to kill them, and had learned nothing.

"Nick, calm down," Kevin said soothingly.

"NO! We don't know what he's doing!" Nick said angrily. "We know he might hurt Howie tonight. Or maybe not, he said he might change the order. So he might hurt me, or Brian. Or maybe he's just going to kill someone! How can I CALM DOWN!"

"Sit down, have a drink, do something, Nick," Brian pleaded with him, clearly getting freaked out even more by Nick's strong reaction.

"Drink?" Nick whirled around to stare at AJ. "Want a drink, AJ?"

"I'll drink an entire bar right now, to be honest," AJ ran a shaky hand through his hair.

"But Brian's right, we gotta calm down."

"Anyone hungry?" Kevin asked, sighing when everyone looked at him as if he was crazy.

"We gotta eat."

"Get liquor with dinner, that's all I ask," Howie waved at Kevin. "I don't care."

"Looks like we're in for a long night," Kevin looked at Tara apologetically. "Sorry you got dragged into this."

Tara forced a smile onto her face. "As bad as all of this is, I think I'm better off her than I would be freaking out at home."

"Good, I'm glad you're here then," he smiled lightly at her. "Want to help me figure out what these idiots want to eat?"

"Sure."

It would be a long night, indeed.

***

Chapter 9

A few hours later, the gang was sitting around Nick's suite with drinks in hand, all trying to hide how nervous they truly felt.

"Should we watch a movie?" Kevin asked, looking around the room. "No?"

"He's going to come back, I know it," AJ muttered. He'd been sitting at Tara's computer for the last hour, staring at the Backstreet chatroom.

"I don't know, AJ, today was the first time I'd seen him in there in while, it was like he knew I was looking for him," Tara said, shaking her head. "Who knows when he'll be back, after what Nick said."

"Dammit, Nick," Howie glared at the blonde. "Stupid."

"Fuck you," Nick returned the icy glare. "You're not the one he's threatening to rape, ok?"

Howie opened his mouth to reply, then shut it, his eyes falling to the floor.

"We can't start fighting with each other, we're all scared," Brian said softly. "But we gotta stick together."

"Watch a movie, get your mind off of this," Kevin said firmly, standing up to turn on the television.

"No, dammit," Nick stood up and began pacing back and forth. "I want to do something.

Hit something, anything, kill that guy…"

"I brought a game," Tara walked over to Nick, smiling. "My favorite game in the whole world."

"What game?" Nick stopped pacing and looked at her. "I'm not really in the mood for a game."

"You'll like this one," she pulled the box out of her suitcase and grinned. "I'll need to kick AJ off of my laptop, unless you have two computers, but, you'll like."

"You can use mine," Kevin offered. "It's in my room. I'm gonna put a movie on anyway."

"Thanks," Nick accepted the key Kevin threw at him, and waved to Tara. "Let's go get."

Tara followed Nick out of the room, nodding at the bodyguards stationed in the hallway.

"You'll like this game, I promise."

"Good," Nick opened the door to Kevin's room and walked in, his eyes scanning the spacious suite for the computer. "And where would it be…ah ha." He spied it on a table and picked it up with a triumphant grin.

Tara looked around the room, gasping when she saw the writing that had been sprawled on the mirror set into the wall. "Nick," she said softly, pointing. "Look…"

Nick turned around, his eyes widening when he read the writing. "Don't assume? What the fuck does that mean?"

"I don't know," she replied fearfully. "Let's get out of here."

"Don't have to tell me twice," Nick shuddered, and put a hand on Tara's back, guiding her out of the room. They returned to his suite, Nick telling them what he'd found before they were completely inside the door.

"Don't assume?" Kevin frowned, shaking his head. "What's that mean?"

"We assumed the third strike was about me," Howie looked at Kevin, his eyes wide. "You don't sing much either."

"Yeah, but he wouldn't try to hurt Kristen again…." Kevin's face paled, and he grabbed for the phone, quickly dialing his wife. "Baby? Are you ok?"

Everyone watched as Kevin spoke with his wife, all of them unable to believe how much this guy was beginning to terrify them.

"So, um, we gonna play that game?" Nick said hesitantly, looking at Tara. "I'm gonna go nuts if I do nothing for another second."

"Sure," she nodded, and gestured to the table. "Let's set this up."

***

"Can you guys keep it down?" Brian grumbled, trying to pay attention to the movie Kevin had selected, but it was hard, with Nick and Tara screaming at each other.

"Die, asshole!" Tara screamed, her eyes fixed on her computer screen as she ran after Kaos and attacked him with his rocket launcher.

"Bitch," Nick hissed, firing on Katchoo with his shotgun as he tried to jump away from the rockets. He screamed in frustration when he heard a dull click, which he'd quickly learned meant he was out of ammunition.

Tara quickly switched to her railgun, and shot it through Kaos' head. "Easy shot," she said confidently.

"Bitch," he repeated, hitting his mouse rapidly until his character respawned. "You're not that good at this," he said, running from her character on screen as he looked around for a weapon and armor.

"No, I'm not good, that's why I'm kicking your sorry ass," Tara snickered, chasing him down and killing him in one shot.

"That's a rather violent game," Howie remarked, watching over Tara's shoulders as pieces of Kaos' body flew around the screen.

"It's awesome," she smiled at him. "Want to try?"

He shook his head, "Naw, it's a lot more fun watching you kill Nicky."

Nick frowned, and smacked his mouse on the table. "That's it! Katchoo dies!"

"Dead Kaos," she teased.

"Keep it down, kids," Kevin called from his spot with Brian in front of the television.

"We're trying to watch a movie here."

"Bite me, Kevin," Nick muttered, howling in frustration when he fell into a vat of lava.

He pushed himself back from the table as loud screams emanated from his computer, finally admitting defeat. "Ok, ok, you win."

Tara stood up and walked over to Nick's side of the table, grinning from ear to ear. "Say that again? Not quite sure I heard you completely?"

"I said, you won," he said grudgingly.

"And what's my nickname?"

"Katchoo." He looked her up and down and made a face. "Dunno, you look more like Francine to me…"

Tara's eyes widened, and she smacked his shoulder. "Asshole."

"Good comic," he stood up and smirked. "But you're Francine."

"The nickname is Katchoo."

"Francine."

"And I was referring to another one, anyway!" She glared at him, shaking her head.

"Nick!"

"Call her the gaming goddess, Nicky," AJ advised, laughing at the two of them. "And what kind of a name is Katchoo?"

"Katrina Choovanski," Nick and Tara said in unison, before looking at each other and erupting into giggles. "Strangers in Paradise," Nick continued to explain between giggles.

"It's a comic. A good comic."

"God, you read comics too?" Howie looked at Tara, shaking his head slowly. "The last thing we needed around here was another Nicky."

"Gee, thanks," Nick said sarcastically, grabbing two beers from the mini bar. He threw one at Tara, smirking when she almost dropped it. "Watch yourself there, Francine."

"Oh blow me, Kaos," she rolled her eyes. "At least my nickname comes from something intended for someone over the age of 12."

"Excuse me?" He popped the top on his beer, and took a deep sip before continuing.

"What the hell is wrong with Kaos?"

"Nothing, except it's from Sonic the Hedgehog. A little young, don't you think?" Tara opened her own beer, laughing when Nick wrinkled his nose at her. "Adult games are so much more fun, dontcha think?"

"So this is an adult game?" Howie had taken Tara's seat at the computer, and was trying to navigate the character around on screen. He groaned as loud screams began to leave the computer's speakers, "so that's lava?"

"Yeah. It'll frag you in a heartbeat," she told him with a grin. "Stay out of it."

"I give up, I'm going back to my room," Howie sighed, and stood up. "I'm drunk, and tired, and sick of watching you two flirt." He left the room without another word, his feet dragging slowly.

Tara blushed fiercely and turned away from Nick, staring down at the floor. "Was not flirting."

"Was too," he shot back, grabbing her arm and pulling her onto a couch with him. "Sit."

"I am not attracted to pretty boys," she said bluntly, knocking him in the head with her beer bottle. "And you, Kaos, are a pretty boy."

AJ hooted with laughter, "she's got ya there, Nicky, you're just so pretty…."

"See?" Tara smirked. "One pretty boy knows another."

"Oh, now you're asking for it," AJ frowned, glaring at her. "I am not a pretty boy."

"You all are," she swept the room with her arm, including Brian and Kevin in her comments. "Come on, you're Backstreet Boys. Don't get much prettier."

"You are such the pretty boy, Bone," Nick argued. "Nobody except a pretty boy would paint on a beard, ok?"

"You're just jealous because I can grow one," AJ retorted, walking over to Nick and rubbing the stubble under his chin. "Look at that peach fuzz."

"Get off of me," Nick shoved AJ away with a laugh. "I like my fuzz."

"Will you PLEASE keep it down?" Kevin tried to get them to quiet down again, rolling his eyes when AJ just stared at him dully. "Movie?"

"Peach fuzz?" AJ shot back, grinning at Tara when she began to laugh uncontrollably.

"Not Kevin though, he's got a full on bush growing there."

"What?" Kevin stared at them, clueless. His brow furrowed, and he stared at Tara, totally confused when that just made her laugh harder. "What have you two been doing to her?"

"Getting her drunk, seems like," Brian advised his cousin.

"I'm not drunk," she argued, biting her lip to stop her giggles.

"Sure you're not," Kevin replied, laughing at her red face.

"Maybe just a little," Tara admitted, shaking her head. "But hey, I kicked Kaos' ass. Isn't that worth something?"

"If it wasn't something we all did so regularly…" AJ started, but Nick tackled him before he could finish the sentence, sending him flying to the floor.

"Kids," Kevin rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Alright, I think this party's over," he stood up and stretched, realizing he was never going to finish watching the movie.

Tara watched, laughing hysterically, as AJ and Nick tumbled around on the floor, each trying to mash the other's face into the carpet. "They always like this?" She asked Brian, laughing harder when he just nodded solemnly.

"Sad, isn't it?" Brian asked, watching them with a grin on his face.

"Hysterical," she replied.

Nick ended up sitting on top of AJ, and waved to Tara to hand him a beer. He held it over AJ's head, threatening to pour it all over him until he admitted he was a pretty boy.

"No? No? Well, then, bone, why don't ya want beer on you?"

"You're gonna ruin my shirt, man, stop it!" AJ howled, his legs kicking in the air helplessly.

"Only pretty boys worry about their clothes," Nick told him with a giggle. "So, pretty boy? Pretty boy?"

AJ opened his mouth to reply, but could only stare at Nick in horror when a loud scream filled the air.

"Oh god," Kevin ran for the door at top speed, throwing it open and running into the hallway. "Howie!"

***

Chapter 10

"Howie!"

Kevin was the first person to reach Howie's room, banging on the door and screaming his name.

Nick, AJ, Brian and Tara soon caught up, standing around in a panic, watching Kevin pound on the door.

"Howie, open up!" Nick screamed, his eyes filling with tears. "Come on man, please be ok!"

Brian was leaning against the wall, his face as white as a sheet, and breathing heavily.

"This can't be happening, this can't be happening," he kept muttering to himself, watching Kevin in horror.

After what felt like an eternity, the door slowly opened, revealing Howie standing on the other side, his face drawn tight. "Hey," he said weakly, before falling down in a heap on the floor.

"Howie," Kevin fell to his knees next to him, touching his shoulder gingerly. "What happened?"

Howie lifted his hand, biting his lip against the searing pain he felt from the motion. "I put my hand in my bag, and I don't know, something." he said in a trembling voice, staring at his own hand.

Kevin looked at Howie's hand, wincing at the sight of the reddened, blistering skin.

"Jesus, what the hell?"

"I felt something burst, something wet….." Howie shuddered, and rocked back and forth unsteadily. "I can't keep my eyes open."

"Get him into bed," Kevin told Nick and AJ, watching as they lifted Howie and delicately put him into the bed. He grabbed the phone and called a doctor, his eyes not leaving Howie once.

Tara followed them into the room, but stopped when she realized someone hadn't joined them inside. "Brian?" She said softly, turning around and finding him still huddled against the wall. "Hey, you going to come in?" She asked him, looking at him closely.

"Howie's ok."

Brian looked up at her, and took a deep breath, "in a second." He shuddered, and raised a hand to his face, wiping the sweat off of his forehead. "He's ok, right?" He asked, looking into Tara's eyes.

"Yeah, he is." She extended her hand to him, and smiled. "Come on, see for yourself."

Brian nodded slowly and accepted her hand, letting her lead him into the room. "Hey D."

"I think he passed out," Nick told him softly, going to him and hugging him tight. "He's ok though, Bri, he's gonna be fine."

"What the fuck happened to his hand?" AJ whispered, unable to take his eyes off of the angry sores forming on Howie's skin.

"I don't know," Kevin said, shaking his head. "Where's his bag?"

Tara looked around the room, spying the bag lying on its side in a corner. "Over there,"

she pointed.

"We'll let the FBI take a look tomorrow, hopefully they'll be able to figure out what's in there. Don't touch it!" Kevin said fiercely, stopping Nick, who was walking towards the bag. "You don't want to end up like Howie."

"I just wanted to see," Nick said softly.

"I know. But it's not safe," Kevin said firmly. "We'll find out tomorrow what that was."

"Doc's here," Billy stuck his head into the room to warn them, an instant before a doctor walked in, black bag in hand.

Kevin quickly explained to the doctor what they knew of what had happened, and everyone stepped back to let the man examine Howie. When he was done, he stood up, and looked at them all solemnly.

"Well?" Kevin prompted him.

"It appears your friend has a pretty nasty chemical burn," the doctor explained. "I've put some ointment on his hand, and wrapped it. I'll leave some ointment here so he can reapply as needed. It's a third degree burn, but the surface area isn't all that great, so he should be all right. With burns, the most serious risk is that of infection, so it must stay clean, and well covered. Understood?"

Kevin nodded, looking the doctor in the eyes. "We'll make sure he understands."

"So he's ok?" Brian asked, his blue eyes wide with fear.

"He's just fine," the doctor nodded. "But whatever he was messing with, he should leave alone in the future. Chemical burns are serious things, he is rather lucky that the burn is as minimal as it is."

"Thank you so much for coming," Kevin shook the doctor's hand and showed him to the door. He returned to the room, smiling wryly at the sight of everyone staring at Howie sleeping in bed. "Ok, what do you say we all give Howie some privacy?"

"I'm gonna stay here," AJ said, sitting down in a chair and stretching out. "I want to be here when D wakes up."

Kevin nodded at AJ, before turning to Brian, Nick, and Tara. "We should get some sleep, then. Ok?"

"Gotcha," Nick looked at Howie one last time before leaving the room.

Tara followed, watching him carefully as he walked back into his own room and sat down on the couch. "Thank god Howie's ok," she said softly, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Yeah," Nick agreed, staring at the floor in front of him. "At least he's ok."

"Chemical burn, huh," she murmured, sitting down next to him and shaking her head.

"Something must have been in that bag…."

"Yeah."

Tara looked at Nick, feeling strangely guilty for being unable to help him in any way.

"I'm sorry, Nick."

Nick turned his head to look at her, a curious expression on his face. "Why are you sorry?"

"Because I knew days ago what the clue was, and I still couldn't stop it," she bit her lip, and looked away from him. "I'm not helping at all."

"What are you talking about?" Nick stared at her in astonishment. "You saved Kristen's life, how can you say that you're not helping?"

"Howie still got hurt, we still don't know who this guy is," Tara frowned, and shook her head slowly. "I'm not doing any good being here."

"Tara," Nick took her hand in his, yanking on it gently to get her to look at him. "You are helping us, so much….until you came along, all we had to go on were random letters and phone calls. Not only did you save Kevin's wife, but you've helped us figure out what he's doing, hell, we TALKED to him tonight thanks to you."

"Yeah, but Howie…."

"Nobody could have stopped that," Nick interrupted her. "How were we going to stop him from going into his own bag? Not possible."

Tara looked up at Nick, and sighed, "I guess."

"I know." Nick smiled lightly and looked at her hand, stroking the soft skin of her palm.

"And, well, I'm glad you're here, for, um, well, more personal reasons…."

Tara chuckled, "you like getting your ass kicked, do you, Kaos?"

"I like you," Nick replied, raising his head to look into her eyes. "I've never met anyone like you, Tara, and I really like that."

Tara shifted uncomfortably on the couch, and frowned, "Nick…I…"

"You're fun, and you like to do the things I do, and we just clicked, you know?" Nick continued, ignoring her attempt to interrupt him. "I'm glad that, well, if someone had to be the one to figure out what this guy was doing, and be here with us, I'm glad it's you."

Tara just stared at Nick, a strange expression crossing her face. "Nicky…"

Nick smiled at her, and tilted his head coyly. "You just called me Nicky."

Tara laughed lightly, "sorry."

"No, I like hearing you call me Nicky," he told her, before bending his head to hers. He moved in to kiss her, pulling away with a frown when he felt his lips make contact with her cheek, and not her lips.

"Nick," Tara felt like her heart was going to break at the look in his eyes, and she squeezed his hand tight. "I like you too, I do, just…"

"Not that way," he said sarcastically, his voice taking on an angry edge. "Right."

"I'm sorry," she said softly, biting her lip when he dropped her hand and stood up.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting ready for bed," Nick said, turning around and walking into the bedroom. "You should too, it's late," he told her before slamming the door shut.

"Nick," Tara called through the door, but he didn't reply. "Dammit," she cursed, walking to her bedroom and grabbing her bag. She hadn't meant to upset Nick like that, but, shit, she just couldn't see herself with a Backstreet Boy. Why was that so hard for him to accept? She'd had fun playing Quake with him earlier, and definitely understood what he meant about them clicking, but…just not that way…. She dug her nightshirt out of her bag and slipped it on, before grabbing a small bag and heading to the bathroom.

She brushed her teeth and did her business, returning to the large bedroom a few minutes later. She sat down on the side of the bed, wondering if she should just go to sleep and deal with Nick in the morning. But he'd looked so hurt…

Tara sighed heavily and stood up, padding through the suite in her bare feet until she reached Nick's door. She knocked lightly, frowning when there was no reply. "Nick?"

She called, before knocking again. "Nick, please talk to me?"

The door opened slowly, and Nick stuck his head out to peer down at her. "What?" he asked dryly.

"I, um, I," she stammered, unsure of what exactly to say. God, he looked like he hated her… "Nick, are you ok?"

He rolled his eyes, and shook his head, "no. Not that you care, of course."

"Jesus, Nick, I care!" Tara told him, shoving the door open in her frustration. Her eyes widened when Nick flew backwards, falling on the floor on his back. "Oh, god, sorry…"

She stepped inside the room, apologizing again when she saw he was only wearing a pair of boxers. "I didn't mean to do that…"

"I didn't expect you to punch in the door, damn," Nick started to laugh in spite of himself, and stared up at her, shaking his head slowly. "I can't believe you just did that."

"Here," Tara offered him a hand, and hauled him up, her eyes trailing over his body as he stood up. Damn, she had to admit, the boy had one hell of a body… "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," he sighed, and crawled onto the bed, sliding under the covers. "I'm sorry I acted like a brat out there, I just…damn, I like you, Tara, I don't get why you don't like me."

Tara sat down on the side of the bed, biting her lip. "It's not that I don't like you, Nick! I do!"

"You're just not attracted to pretty boys," he said angrily, shaking his head. "I'm not a goddamn pretty boy."

Tara smiled wryly, "Nick, you're just not my type…"

"I don't get that," he sighed. "We're so much alike, how could I not be?"

"Maybe I'm not attracted to me, then?" Tara joked.

"I am, though," Nick replied, looking into her eyes. He reached up to run a hand over the side of her cheek, "god, am I."

"Nick," Tara pulled away from him, taking his hand in hers. She stared into her eyes, trying to find the words to explain what she was feeling. "I don't know what to say, I…"

"Just promise me one thing," Nick interrupted her. "Promise me you'll leave that pretty boy door open. Let me prove you wrong."

Tara smirked, "once a pretty boy, always a pretty boy?"

"No!" He sat up straight and wrapped his arms around her neck, bending his head to look at her. "I will prove you wrong, ok?"

"Sure, Nick, ok." Tara grabbed his hands, removing them from her neck with a soft sigh.

"I should go to bed, and so should you."

"Sleep with me?" Nick asked her softly, refusing to let go of her hand.

Tara's eyes widened, and she stared at him, "Nick, was I just talking to myself here?"

"Not like that," he laughed, and rolled his eyes. "God, I'm not that dense. I mean…I'm still kind of freaked, with what happened to Howie, I just don't want to be alone. You know?"

Tara nodded slowly, "yeah, I'm pretty scared too."

"So?" Nick scooted over in the bed and pulled the covers back, patting the sheets. "Join me."

"Ok," Tara slid into the bed, unable to resist a happy sigh when she felt Nick's arms wrap around her waist to pull her close to him.

"This is just better, right? Not so scary when you're not alone," Nick said softly, one of his hands tangling through Tara's hair.

"Much better," she had to agree. Nick made a wonderful pillow, and she felt completely safe, pressed up against him under the covers. "Just go to sleep Nick, ok?"

"Going," Nick reached over and turned out the light. He kissed her forehead, before whispering, "sweet dreams, Francine."

"Fuck you, Kaos," Tara laughed.

"You already said no to that…"

Tara smacked him playfully, "silly, silly pretty boy."

"Yeah, well…." He sighed, and snuggled against her. "Goodnight, Tara."

"Night, Nicky."

***

Chapter 11

Knocking. Who the hell would be knocking at his door now? Nick frowned and snuggled closer to the warm body holding him tight, ignoring the continuous rapping he could hear in the distance. Tara…he was holding Tara…he ran his hand down her back, smiling when he heard her sigh in her sleep. He opened his eyes to look down at her in the sparse light, wondering if whoever was knocking would just stop if he continued to ignore them. He didn't want to get up…this felt so good…why didn't she want him?

Fuck. They were still knocking. Fine. He carefully slid out from under the covers, trying not to wake Tara up, and left the bedroom, realizing only then that it wasn't a knocking on his door. It was pounding…. "WHAT?" He asked in frustration as he yanked the door open, his eyes widening when he saw Kevin's hand raised to strike the door again.

"Oh Nick, thank god you're all right," Kevin breathed a sigh of relief, and grabbed Nick in a hug. "I was so worried…"

"You were?" Nick was still half asleep, and pulled away from Kevin, looking at him questiongly.

"Did you find him?" AJ ran down the hall, stopping in his tracks when he saw Nick. "Oh thank god," he ran a hand through his hair. "You scared the fuck out of us, blondie."

"What the hell are you guys talking about?" Nick looked from AJ to Kevin, before shaking his head and walking back into his room. "I was sleeping, man, why'd you have to go and wake me up?"

"Kevin got a phone call," AJ explained, following him into the room.

"And?" Nick threw himself down onto the couch, and looked at AJ dimly.

"The guy was singing again," Kevin shuddered, and sat down across from AJ. "I guess it's our next clue."

"And?" Nick said again. "Guys, I'm really tired, don't make me guess."

AJ sighed, and recited, "Deep within my soul, I feel, nothing's like it used to be."

Nick frowned, "and exactly why did you decide to come pound on MY door when you heard that?"

"Jesus, Nick, what song is that from?" Kevin asked him, shaking his head slowly.

"Think."

Nick's face paled, and he slumped down on the couch. "Oh."

"Yeah, oh," AJ sighed, and looked around the room, his eyes widening when he saw the empty spare bedroom across from them. "Um, Nicky?"

"Yeah, Bone?" Nick asked tiredly.

"What'd you do with Tara?"

Nick looked at AJ, "huh?"

"The bedroom she was supposed to stay in, it's empty, man," AJ pointed.

"Oh no…" Kevin breathed, standing up and walking towards the bedroom. "What…"

Nick started to laugh, and shook his head quickly, "calm down, Kevin, she's fine. She just didn't sleep in there."

AJ grinned widely, and reached over to smack Nick's back. "Very good, Kaos, so you got some, eh?"

Nick rolled his eyes and shrugged off AJ's arm, "not quite."

"Ok, well, then I'm confused," AJ frowned, and looked at Nick closely. "If she ain't in there, and you didn't get any, where is she?"

"She's right here," Tara walked into the room, laughing when AJ stared at her in surprise. "What's up? It's a little early, isn't it?"

"I had a phone call a little while ago," Kevin explained, sitting down in a chair with a heavy sigh. "I was pretty worried about Nick."

Tara sat down next to Nick, smiling when she saw his face turning bright red. "Why were you worried?"

"Nicky here didn't answer the door," AJ said, looking from Nick to Tara curiously. "You SURE nothing happened? How noisy were you, not to hear Kevin banging on that door?"

"Positive," Nick groaned, shaking his head. "God, could you embarrass me any more, Bone?"

"I was asleep," Tara said softly. "So was Nick."

"In the same bed?" AJ asked pointedly.

"Jesus, AJ," Nick smacked his own forehead with his hand. "Will you stop it?"

Tara chuckled, and touched Nick's knee lightly. "Relax, Nick. Just because AJ's not mature enough to understand just being friends with a girl doesn't mean that you have to feel bad for it."

Kevin snickered, "ouch, Bone, she got you."

"Bite me, Train," AJ grumbled, frowning at Nick. "I still don't get it…"

"Not to break this up, because you know, it's a blast and all, but seeing as I'm alive, can you please leave?" Nick stood up, glaring at Kevin and AJ.

"Yeah," Kevin stood up, and waved for AJ to do the same. "We'll talk about this in a couple of hours, you should try to get some more sleep before then. We just needed to make sure you were ok."

"What are you doing here, anyway," Nick looked at AJ, frowning. "If Kevin got the phone call…."

"When you didn't answer your door, Kev came looking for you in Howie's room, thinking maybe you went to check on him," AJ replied. "Then I got kinda nervous too, I mean, you didn't answer…."

"How is Howie?" Tara asked.

AJ shrugged, "sleeping like a baby. That's Howie, he'll sleep through anything, anywhere."

Nick stood up, waving towards the door. "Yes, that's Howie, now will you two leave?"

"Going. Leave the door unlocked though, would you?" Kevin asked as he left the room.

Nick walked them to the door, and closed it behind them with a loud sigh, heeding Kevin's advice and keeping it unlocked. Leaning up against the back, he turned to look at Tara, smiling meekly. "Sorry about that…"

"Your friends were worried about you, that's sweet," Tara smiled. "Nothing to be sorry for."

"I mean AJ," Nick clarified, blushing again. He ran a hand through his hair as he walked back to the couch. "He's an idiot."

"I told you, no big deal." Tara's expression became serious, and she looked at Nick closely. "So, what I didn't hear them say, is why they came here in the middle of the night, beyond that they were worried about you. WHY were they so worried?"

"Oh," Nick frowned, sliding down in the couch to get comfortable. "Kevin had a phone call, the guy sang to him."

"What did he sing?"

"Deep within my soul, I feel, nothing's like it used to be," Nick sang softly, running a hand through his hair. "That's not my part though."

"What song is that?" Tara shivered, and pulled her knees up into her nightshirt. It was cold in the room, or at least, colder than it had been under the covers in the bedroom a few minutes ago.

"You're cold," Nick remarked, waving to her to move closer to him. "Come here."

"Nick," Tara looked at him hesitantly. "What…"

"I'm not gonna make a pass at you, Tara, I just don't want you to freeze on me, ok?

Come here," He insisted. When she slid over to his side of the couch, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his chest. "See? Just to warm you up." His other arm slid over her stomach, and she could feel the heat radiating off of his palm through the thin fabric of her nightshirt.

"Just to warm me up," Tara said softly, her eyes fixed on his hand on her stomach. His touch was so soft, so gentle…and she felt so good being held by him… She shivered again, and snuggled closer to him.

"Hmm, let's try this," Nick moved around and lay down, stretching out his legs on the couch. He maneuvered Tara around until she was lying almost on top of him, her face resting on his chest, his arms locked around her waist. "How's that?"

"Warm," she whispered, feeling completely snug and warm in his embrace. "This is nice." Nice…and god, all too comfortable…WHY was it all men seemed to sleep in their underwear? Hadn't anyone ever heard of pajamas? Snuggling with a man dressed in nothing but boxers was just so…intimate…

"Good," Nick replied, not noticing Tara's cheeks flushing as he rubbed her back.

"So, what song was that line from?" Tara asked, gasping softly when she felt Nick slide a leg in between hers. She could feel every inch of his body against hers through her nightshirt, and was definitely feeling warmer because of it. "What?"

"Just getting closer," Nick told her, putting a hand on her hip to pull her into him.

"There. Maximum body warmth."

"Right," she nodded into his chest. So that's what they were calling this now….body warmth. She wiggled her hips slightly, feeling a hard lump pressing into her pelvis.

Funny, she was used to calling it something else…

"Tara," Nick said in a pained voice, his hand sliding up her back and into her hair.

"Why…"

"What song was that, Nick?" She interrupted him, looking up into his eyes.

Nick sighed, "Quit Playing Games With My Heart."

Tara's eyes widened, and she looked at him sadly, "Games. So that's why they thought it was you."

"You said he wants me to live out a game, right?"

"That's what he said," she replied, looking into his eyes. Even in the sparse light in the room, she could see the bright blue staring down at her, wow, they were beautiful…

When Nick didn't reply, she turned away, resting her head on his chest and sighing heavily. "I want to stop him, Nicky," she whispered.

"I want to stop him too," Nick agreed.

Tara felt him playing with her hair, and smiled, beginning to relax in his arms. She reached around and slid an arm around his waist, her fingers trailing over his stomach.

"This is nice," she admitted softly, tracing circles over his soft skin.

Nick's breath caught in his throat, and he shifted uncomfortably under her, his hips pressing into hers as the lump grew. "Yeah, it is," he agreed in a timid voice.

Tara smiled, hearing Nick's heart begin to beat faster. She turned her head and pressed a gentle kiss to his skin, hearing, and feeling, his chest heave as he gasped. "We should get some sleep," she whispered, her arm wrapping around his waist to hug him.

"I'm not tired," Nick replied softly, his breath beginning to grow ragged. Feeling her up against him like this was torture, he knew it, and he was near positive she knew it too.

What was she doing to him… A helpless groan left his throat when he felt her hips press into his, and he looked down at her with wide eyes. "Tara, what are you doing?"

"Getting sleepy," she murmured, closing her eyes and snuggling close. "You?"

Getting frustrated, was what he wanted to reply, but he just sighed, and kissed her forehead. "Same."

"We're gonna stop him Nick, I know it," Tara said in a sleepy voice, squeezing him tight for emphasis. "I won't let him hurt you."

Nick stared down at her and bit his lip. "Thank you," he whispered, not knowing what else to say. A week ago he hadn't even known who this girl was, and now…. "Thank you so much."

Tara's grip on Nick's waist loosened as she fell asleep, her mouth dropping open as her breathing deepened.

Nick's eyes remained fixed on her, and he continued to play with her hair, still fighting the feelings raging through his body at the feeling of her close to him. "Tara, what are you doing to me," he whispered softly, staring at her in awe. On the one hand, he wanted to run far away, so terrified was he over what this guy was threatening to do to him, yet on the other…he wanted bury his head in her hair and stay there forever. "I'm not a pretty boy," he yawned, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. "Not a pretty boy,"

he repeated for emphasis, before he too, fell into a deep sleep.

***

Nick was in the middle of a nice, happy, dream when he became aware of someone talking in the room around him. He listened with his eyes closed, wondering if he was still dreaming.

"They look cute together."

"They're not together, not like that."

"Why not?"

"I dunno. Why should they be?"

"Nicky hasn't been with a nice girl in a long time…."

"A NICE girl? Come on, Brian, it's the bad girls who are all the fun…"

"Will you two shut up?" Nick grumbled, slowly opening his eyes to look up at AJ and Brian. "What the hell are you two doing in here?"

"Watching you and Tara in dream land," AJ snickered, gesturing to the brunette still fast asleep on top of Nick. "Friends don't sleep like that, Carter."

"Shut up," Nick frowned, and looked down at Tara, running a hand through her hair gently. "Tara? Wake up…"

"Man, she's a deep sleeper, isn't she," AJ remarked, sitting down and watching Nick try to wake her up. "Should we call her Kevin?"

"What about me?" Kevin walked into the room, laughing when he saw Nick lying on the couch with Tara. "You two still asleep?"

"You could have called to wake me up, you know," Nick muttered, rubbing Tara's back.

"Tara? Baby? Wake up…"

"You did not just call me baby," Tara's eyes fluttered open, and she looked up at Nick with a half smile. "Baby?"

"Tara?" He smiled meekly at her.

"Do I look like a baby?"

"See? I told you they're not together," AJ told Brian, a smirk on his face.

"What's with the crowd?" Tara sat up on the couch, rubbing her eyes as she looked around the room. "Never saw two people sleeping before?"

"Nick's door was open," Brian said apologetically. "We figured we'd come in and wake him up."

"It was unlocked, not open," Nick argued, frowning as he sat up. "And only because Kevin told me not to lock it."

"We'll let the two of you wake up and get dressed?" Kevin laughed, and waved at Brian and AJ. "Meet us in my room for breakfast, ok?"

"Yeah, whatever," Nick grumbled, watching as they left. "Sorry about that," he said to Tara once they were gone, standing up and stretching. "They have no concept of privacy."

"That's ok," Tara shrugged. "You guys are obviously close, I think it's nice."

"I guess."

Tara yawned and stood up, smiling at him. "You make a great pillow, Kaos, I slept really well."

Nick returned the smile, "yeah, so did I." He looked at her and bit his lip, wondering if he should say something else.

An awkward silence fell over them as each stared at the other, neither sure exactly what they wanted to say, but both positive they wanted to say….something….

"Nick, last night…" Tara started, before stopping. "I…" she looked at Nick, and smiled uncomfortably.

"What?" Nick moved closer to her, running a hand through her hair before cupping her face in his hand. His thumb ran over her cheek, and he bent his head close to hers, staring deep into her eyes. "Tara?"

She stared back at him, wondering why in the world she suddenly felt so out of breath. "I don't know," she said softly, turning away. "We should get dressed."

"Yeah," Nick sighed. "Kevin's going to be waiting."

Tara walked into her bedroom, mentally kicking herself for her reaction to Nick's touch.

He was a goddamn pretty boy, right?

She was never, ever, attracted to pretty boys. Especially not pretty BACKSTREET Boys.

But then…why did her heart feel like it was about to pound out of her chest? And why was she fighting a strange urge to run back out into the room and throw herself into his arms?

"Goddamn pretty boy," she muttered, closing the door and getting ready to take a shower and prepare for the day. "Damn pretty boy."

***

Chapter 12

"How's Howie doing?" Nick asked with a mouthful of cereal, grinning at Tara when she rolled her eyes at him. "Cereal?" He threw a box at her with a giggle.

"Not hungry," she batted the box away and asked Kevin to pass the pot of coffee instead.

"He's doing ok," AJ chewed his own mouthful of cereal and swallowed before continuing.

"Sleeping again now, but he was up earlier. Ya think getting burned makes you that tired, or is Howie just using the excuse to sleep all day?"

"Howie can sleep as much as he wants," Kevin said sternly, frowning at AJ. "Leave him alone, he doesn't need an excuse."

"I'm just saying…"

"I know what you're saying, and leave it be," Kevin interrupted. "Howie should do whatever he needs to today."

"Can I use your computer, Tara?" Deciding breakfast was done, AJ stood up. "I wanna see if that guy is in chat again."

"Sure, let me get you set up," Tara walked off with AJ, leaving Brian, Nick and Kevin eating their breakfast.

"She's nice, Nick," Brian offered softly.

Nick snorted, nearly choking on his cereal. He covered his mouth with his hand, coughing, until he recovered, staring at Brian. "Why are you telling me that? And I don't know if 'nice' is exactly the word I'd use, she'd prolly hate that as much as she hated

'baby.'"

"You like her, right?" Brian's lips were curled up in a slight smile from Nick's cereal induced fit.

"I guess," Nick shrugged, and took a sip of his coffee. "Doesn't matter."

"Why not?"

"She don't like me," Nick muttered, shoving more cereal into his mouth.

"Oh yes she does," Kevin said with a grin, laughing when Nick pointed to his mouth, showing himself incapable of answering. "You can stuff your face all you want, but I'm telling you, she likes you."

Nick just shook his head stubbornly as he chewed.

"We saw how you two were sleeping, AJ was right, friends don't sleep like that," Brian said, looking at Nick intently.

Nick shrugged, and continued chewing in silence.

"How were they sleeping?" Kevin asked.

"She was on top of him," Brian explained, smiling when Nick's face began to turn red as he continued to eat. "Well, she was, Nicky."

"On top of you?" Kevin snickered, and elbowed Nick. "Now how'd you end up like that?"

"Will you two stop it?" Nick threw down his spoon and glared at the two cousins. "You're like…like…the Wonder Twins from Hell!"

Tara walked into the room just in time to hear that, and started to laugh, "The Wonder Twins from Hell?"

"Who the fuck are the Wonder Twins?" Kevin looked at Nick, confused.

"Wonder Twin powers, activate!" Tara giggled, running over to Nick and punching his hand.

"Form of," Nick rubbed his chin, thinking. "Can I be a dolphin? One's always an animal, and one's something water, right?"

"Water, or air, or something, I think? I remember one of them being ice a lot." Tara said, laughing harder when Kevin's confusion just grew. "No Wonder Twins?"

"Cartoon, Kevin," Brian said, unable to resist a chuckle when Nick poked Tara again.

"She didn't actually transform, Nick."

"Transformers!" Nick giggled, and stood up, grabbing Tara's hands. "Optimus Prime?"

"I never really liked the Transformers," she admitted, laughing when Nick's face fell.

"Sorry…"

"I like South Park," Kevin offered helpfully.

"That's good, m'kay?" Nick looked at Kevin, smirking.

Kevin just looked at them, not getting the reference.

"Play nice, kids, m'kay?" Tara giggled.

"You started this, Kevin," Brian pointed out with a grin, before adding, "m'kay?"

"M'kay?" Kevin's brow furrowed as he looked from Brian, to Nick, to Tara. "I know Mr.

Hanky."

"You would," Nick rolled his eyes.

"I'm not quite sure how to take that," Kevin said, looking at Nick with narrowed eyes.

"You insulting me, boy?"

"Naw," Nick shrugged. "M'kay?"

"Tara?" AJ ran into the room, his eyes wild. "I need you now, the guy's in chat."

"Oh shit," Tara followed AJ back to Nick's room at top speed, with the rest of the group not far behind. "What's going on?"

"I did what you said, started my own account and all, so he doesn't know it's the person he talked to yesterday in here," AJ explained, gesturing wildly at the computer screen. "I was just watching him, and he was talking to this one girl, telling her how he was going to hurt Nicky, all sorts of stuff. He told her, god," AJ paused for breath and ran a hand through his hair, shuddering.

"What did he tell her?" Kevin prompted impatiently.

"He told her that she could stop him, if she'd meet him in person. And then, jesus, she gave him her phone number, said she'd meet him to save Nick!" AJ stared at Tara, his expression one of fear and concert. "What's he going to do to this girl? We have to do something, Tar, we can't let him meet her!"

"Did you keep the phone number?" Tara asked, sitting down at the computer and typing in rapidly. "Or her screenname?"

"He's still there," AJ offered, pointing to the screen.

"Yeah, but is she?"

AJ bent down to look at the computer screen, frowning deeply. "No, she's gone."

"Oh fuck," Nick whispered, staring at the computer with his eyes wide. "What the hell is he doing?"

"Going after our fans?" Brian said in horror. "I thought he just wanted us?"

"If he meets this girl, Tara, you know no good will come of it," AJ said, panicking when she just nodded in reply. "What can we do?"

"Nothing," she said softly, casting her eyes downward. "I mean, I can get Tommy to trace his IP again, and maybe he can hack the proxy this freak's using, but, if the girl's gone, and you don't know her screenname, …" she sighed, and frowned. "Even if you DID know her screenname, there isn't anything we can do."

"But we know what this guy will do to her!!" AJ glared her angrily. "You work for this fucking website, how can you LET this happen?"

"I'm not LETTING this happen!" Tara stood up and returned the glare. "Where are her fucking PARENTS stopping her from getting online? If she's a kid, that is. If she's not a kid, than what kind of idiot is she, agreeing to meet with someone she met in a chatroom? Someone who just threatened to kill a Backstreet Boy at that? Is it really my fault?"

"YES!" AJ shouted. "Goddammit, YES! This is YOUR website, and your chatroom, I BLAME YOU."

Tara's eyes filled with tears, and she stared at AJ for a moment, her lower lip trembling.

"I'm sorry. I can't do anything," she said softly, before turning around and running out of the room.

"Shit, Tara," Nick took off after her, shooting an angry look at AJ as he went.

"It's not her fault, Bone," Brian said softly, sitting down in front of the computer and watching the chat scroll by.

"It has to be someone's fault," AJ argued, bending over Brian's shoulder to watch the screen. "I mean, look at what this guy's saying?"

"It's this guy's fault," Kevin said firmly, wincing when he saw the man begin to describe in chat what he intended to do to Nick. "He's completely to blame, and he's the one we have to stop."

***

Tara ran down the hallway and stopped, unsure of exactly where to go. She didn't want to go walking around the hotel, for fear of running into Jessica, and she couldn't leave, all of her stuff was still in Nick's room. Leaning against the wall, she slid down to the floor and hugged her knees into her chest, biting her lip against the tears she could feel filling her eyes.

"Tara?"

Tara raised her head, sighing when she saw Nick walking down the hallway. "I told you I wasn't doing any good," she said sadly, leaning her head on her knees as she felt a tear roll down her face.

"AJ was just upset, it's not your fault," Nick said consolingly, sitting down next to her.

"There's nothing you can do."

"That's the problem, isn't it?" She replied, blinking rapidly to see through her tears.

"God, Nick, do you realize, we're never going to even know if this girl did meet him? We don't know where she is, where he is, who either of them are….how do we know this is the first time he's done this, even? He could be out there, meeting girls through that chatroom, and killing them, and we would never know."

"Killing them because they think they're saving me," Nick said softly, his own eyes growing bright. "Jesus, this man is sick…"

"Sometimes the law protects the wrong people," Tara said, shaking her head slowly.

"What do you mean?"

"Just thinking," she hugged her knees tight, and sighed. "We didn't see anything illegal happen in that chatroom, I didn't even see enough to give me reason to kill his account, under our policies, anyway. All I saw was a guy agree to meet a girl. That's what's sick.

We know what's really going on, we know what he wants to do, but we can't do anything.

He has a right to his anonymity, so does she. We don't have the right to find out who either of them are, no matter what we know."

"The FBI Agent will be here soon, we can talk to her," Nick said. "Maybe she's gotten closer to figuring out who he is. She has all the letters we got too, and she's put taps on our cell phones."

"Did he call Kevin's cell phone last night?" Tara asked, looking at Nick when he didn't reply. "Did he?"

Nick shook his head sadly. "The hotel phone."

"Of course," Tara muttered, shaking her head. She looked at Nick for a moment, before sighing. "Should I go home, Nick? After I talk to the FBI Agent, I mean. Kevin had initially said I should stay through tomorrow, but, given what AJ said…"

"You're staying," Nick said firmly. He pulled her hand away from her knee and squeezed it tight, looking into her eyes. "AJ didn't mean that, and I'm sure Kevin is telling him how wrong he was to say it right now."

"You're sure? I'm not helping…"

"Will you stop saying that?" Nick interrupted her, rolling his eyes when she just looked at him dimly. "Come on, who else will make Wonder Twin jokes with me?"

"I bet AJ knows who the Wonder Twins are."

"Francine," he said teasingly, grinning when she smirked. "No?"

"I told you. It's Katchoo."

"Francine."

"Smartass."

"That's Kaos, to you."

"You gonna help me up off the floor, smartass?" Tara asked him, raising an eyebrow when he remained planted on the floor next to her. "Such a gentleman," she said sarcastically, pushing herself up off the ground. She started walking down the hallway, turning back to stare at Nick when he shouted to her. "Yes?"

"Help me up, Francine," he laughed, extending a hand to her.

"I should leave you there," she grumbled, walking back and giving him a hand up.

"Thanks, Katchoo," he said softly, kissing her forehead lightly.

"Yeah, get moving," she smacked his rear as he walked by her with a giggle. "The smartass has a nice ass, so I see."

"Oh, you bet I do," he wiggled his butt at her and continued walking. "And what's the nickname, Katchoo?"

"Kaos, gotcha, Kaos."

***

"So, I keep killing his account, and he keeps recreating it, and putting the website back up," Tara finished and bit her lip, looking at the FBI Agent for some sort of reaction.

"Ok," Agent Palmer scribbled some more on the notepad in her lap before nodding.

"Thank you, Tara, this has been extremely helpful."

"Helpful, for…" Kevin prompted. He frowned when Agent Palmer just looked at him dimly, "didn't you hear what Tara just said? He's going after our fans now, he's burned Howie, he nearly killed my wife, he's getting a little too close, isn't he?"

"I agree completely," she replied evenly, crossing her legs in front of her and smoothing out her skirt. "However, as helpful as Tara's information is, it will also make things more complicated."

"How so?" Howie asked, his brow crinkling. "More information is better, isn't it?"

"Yes, but the tone of the information online, and of the person you are speaking to in the chatroom, is extremely different than that of the letters and phone calls you are receiving." She took a deep breath before continuing, "our profile is still not complete, and this will only complicate that further."

"He's crazy. Put that in your profile," AJ said harshly.

"I don't believe so," Agent Palmer shook her head. "He's psychopathic, but not insane.

There is a difference."

"How?"

"His actions are methodical, which means they will be predictable, when we can figure out what that pattern is."

"I can tell you what he's gonna do next," Nick said, his eyes narrowed. "He's coming after me."

"Well, yes, but…"

"No buts," Kevin interrupted her angrily. "He has done everything he's said he intends to do so far. We KNOW his next target is Nicky. We need YOU to stop him."

"Subpoena my company, get his user information," Tara suggested helpfully.

Agent Palmer sighed, "we cannot do that. We don't have enough evidence that the person on your service is the one sending the notes and making the phone calls to justify a judge signing a subpoena. Also, you said it yourself, there's no guarantee that information is real."

"I can get Tommy to hack his proxy next time he's on, see if he can get a definite IP that way?" She offered.

"No!" Agent Palmer's eyes flared as she stared at Tara. "Do not do any such thing."

"Why not? If it helps us find him…"

"Because it's not admissible in court. What good will knowing who he is do, if you cannot do anything with that information?" She asked, nodding when Tara didn't reply.

"Exactly."

"Maybe it's no good legally, but we can know who to look out for," Brian argued. "Check hotel reservations, stuff like that."

"Hotel reservations are private, you can do no such thing," Agent Palmer replied.

"We can call and ask if he's a guest," Tara shot back. "We know he's here, or at least he was. Wouldn't knowing that at least help?"

"You know it anyway, knowing his name does no good. You cannot do anything illegal, like hacking him, in order to find out who he is," Agent Palmer insisted. "Give us some time, we will find him, I promise."

"Because you've done such a wonderful job so far," Howie said sarcastically.

"Shall I tell you what we've found out?" She turned to look at Howie, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Go for it."

"We know that the paper he uses for his notes is sold on the West Coast, mostly in the California region. His handwriting is very organized, and his grammar is always correct, leading us to believe he is highly educated. The pen, and this is where we've gotten our first solid clue," she smiled lightly. "The pen he uses to write the notes is that of a gold Cross pen, it uses a special sort of ink. Only a few hundred are sold of them every year, they are extremely expensive, the type of thing someone receives for a graduation present."

"Great, so we're looking for a highly educated psycho with a nice pen," AJ rolled his eyes.

"Why don't we just go through everyone's bags and ask if they have a pen."

"The letters are always posted from towns that you are in, the latest was sent from Las Vegas. So yes, we have reason to believe he is following you," she continued. "We are currently analyzing the acid we found in Howie's bag, as well as the color tablets that had been placed in the pool in Las Vegas. The lipstick used to write on Kevin's mirror was Revlon, that result came back quickly, unfortunately, you can buy it in any drugstore in America."

"What about Kristen's bus?" Kevin asked. "That was a bomb…."

"That's still being analyzed. From what we've figured out so far, it wasn't exactly a sophisticated device, you can find out on the Internet how to build one just like it.

Setting it up so it blew when the gear was shifted was a nice twist, but nothing too complicated, anyone who knows cars fairly well would be able to figure out how to set the switches to activate that way." She paused for a breath. "Which leads me to the next issue…gender."

"It's a guy, right?" AJ said, shrugging. "Has to be."

"We're still not quite sure. Hopefully with this information Tara has provided us we can narrow it down a bit more. The lipstick suggests a woman, but the knowledge of cars suggests a man. The handwriting suggests a man as well, but…" she sighed. "For each thing indicative of one gender, there is something else indicating another."

"There are only two genders," Nick pointed out with a frown.

Agent Palmer chuckled softly. "Yes. But how we investigate will change if we are looking for a man or a woman, so we must be sure to get this right."

"So what do we do now? Just wait for him to come after me?" Nick asked angrily. "I don't hear you saying anything helpful."

"I'm going to be assigning a couple of agents to tour with you from now on, for added security," Agent Palmer explained. "They will be keeping an eye on hotel lobbies, crowds at concerts, things that your bodyguards can't do. They'll also be looking for people who they see in multiple towns, things like that."

"Any suspects?" Howie asked hopefully.

Agent Palmer looked around the room, her gaze lingering on Tara. "As far as I'm concerned, everyone is a suspect right now."

"Everyone, meaning…"

"Everyone," she said flatly. "All of you, anyone on your tour, everyone. We're running extensive background checks on all people who tour with you, as well as on each of you, and I will need to do the same for you, Tara, I'm sure you understand."

Tara's eyes widened, but she nodded, "sure."

"I'm going to be returning to Washington tonight, but, I'll be in touch." Agent Palmer stood up, and smiled. "We will catch this guy. I know it looks hopeless now, but all it takes is one break, and we'll get him."

"How do you get that break, though?" Kevin asked.

She smiled wryly. "That's the hard part. We'll get it though, I promise."

"Before or after I get raped?" Nick asked angrily, standing up and glaring at her. "Do you get what he's threatening to do to me?"

"Yes, Nick, I do, and I'm sorry…" she stopped talking when Nick ran out of the room, shaking her head slowly. "If it helps," she turned around to look at Kevin. "I highly doubt this guy intends to rape Nick."

"Nicky," Brian got up and followed Nick, glaring at the Agent as he went.

Kevin sighed, and shook his head. "No. It doesn't help. Not us, and definitely not Nick."

"His game is making you fear him," Agent Palmer said, running a hand through her hair.

"He wants you do be acting like this, he wants you to be afraid."

Kevin snorted, and frowned, "well, it sure looks like his game is working, then doesn't it."

"Yes, I suppose, then, it is."

***

Chapter 13

"Hey," Tara didn't look up from her computer when Nick walked into the room, she was watching the Backstreet Boys' chatroom intently.

"Hey, you missed one hell of a show," Nick boasted, sitting down on the couch and grinning at her. "I was totally on tonight, you should have seen me."

"Yeah, yeah," she laughed. "My loss." Tara had briefly spoken with Kevin about telling Andy, and while he'd promised to 'revisit the issue tomorrow,' for tonight, anyway, he'd decided she was best off keeping a low profile, especially since she'd been photographed already once with the guys.

"He in there?" Nick asked, pulling off his shoes and throwing them across the room.

"Not now," Tara shut down the computer, and closed it with a sigh. "He was earlier."

"What was he saying?"

She stood up and walked over to the couch, sitting down next to Nick with a shrug.

"Nothing new."

"Like?"

"He was talking about you," Tara said softly, unable to look into Nick's eyes. "What he was going to do to you."

"You know, I got that rape is somehow involved, but you never really explained in detail what that game is about," Nick said, looking at her closely. "Will you tell me?"

"Do you really want to know?" She asked.

"Yes," Nick said firmly. "I need to know."

Tara took a deep breath and looked at him, her expression growing sad. "It's about this well, alien type thing. It kind of looks like a walking plant, with long tentacles and things.

The way it attacks…."

"Tell me," Nick prompted, bending close to her. "Please?"

"It attacks from the inside out. So, well, I never got very far in the game, but, in the beginning, anyway? There's this girl, and it attacks her. It comes out of her mouth, and well," she sighed. "Between her legs, and it moves in and out…."

"It rapes her."

Tara nodded. "Rape. Or tentacle sex, if you're perverted like Andy."

Nick bit his lip and sat back on the couch, shaking his head slowly. "What kind of sick fuck sees that in a game, and thinks about recreating it?"

"What kind of sick fuck puts that in a game in the first place?" Tara asked softly.

"I'm sure someone likes it."

"I guess he did."

"Yeah," Nick said, frowning.

"Yeah," Tara repeated, not knowing what else to say. "So, um," she curled up on the couch and smiled at him, "you were on tonight?"

Nick grinned, "oh yeah, did you ever miss a show."

"Does that mean some nights you're off?" She asked teasingly.

Nick pursed his lips, and winkled his nose. "Well, no, I guess I'm always on in one way or another…."

Tara laughed lightly, "just more on some nights than others?"

"Exactly."

"Gotcha."

"So," Nick stretched out his legs, and smiled at her. "Still think I'm a pretty boy?"

Tara's face froze for a moment, before she looked away. "I haven't really thought about it all that much, Nick."

He took her hand and pulled her towards him, lowering his head to hers. "How about you think about it, then?" He asked her softly, looking into her eyes.

Tara stared back at him, her brown eyes wide. "Um, Nick, I," she stammered, feeling her heart pounding in her chest.

"No?" Nick asked coyly, bending down until the tip of his nose was pressing against hers.

"Not a pretty boy?"

Tara unconsciously licked her lips, staring into his eyes. She could feel his breath on her face, and her eyes only grew wider when she saw him lick his lips too.

"No, huh," Nick smiled, raising a hand to cup the side of her face. "I told you I'd change your mind," he whispered, before leaning closer, completing the short distance separating his lips from hers.

The instant their lips touched, the phone rang, shocking Tara enough that she jumped away from Nick. "Phone," she said weakly, pressing a hand to her chest to still her wildly beating heart.

"Yeah, I hear," Nick grumbled, getting up and trudging over to the phone. "Whoever this is, your timing SUCKS," he told the caller as he picked up the phone. He listened for a moment before his face paled, and he dropped the phone, staring at Tara with his mouth hanging open. "That was, oh god," he scrambled to pick up the phone and put it back to his ear, "hello? Are you still there? Goddammit, talk to me!!"

"Nick?" Tara got up and went to him, taking the phone and listening. "Just a dial tone, Nicky," she said softly, putting the phone down.

"No, shit, no!" Nick argued, grabbing the phone and pressing buttons wildly. "Come back, please," he pleaded, throwing it down angrily when he heard the same dial tone Tara had. "FUCK!"

"What?" Tara watched as Nick stormed around the room, kicking at the carpet in his frustration. "Nick, who was on the phone?"

Nick sat down on the couch and buried his head in his hands, shaking his head slowly.

"No, god, no, he didn't, I can't think, he couldn't," he mumbled, clasping his hands on top of his head.

"What, Nicky, tell me?" Tara sat down next to him, rubbing his shoulder gently. "You're scaring me, Nick, say something…"

"That was…" Nick stopped talking for a moment and stared at the floor, breathing heavily. He ran a hand through his hair and looked at Tara. "That was a girl. Screaming my name, crying…she asked me to help her."

"Oh Nick," Tara breathed.

"She screamed, god, this awful scream…" Nick's eyes filled with tears, and he stared at Tara, his lower lip trembling. "And then nothing. The scream stopped. God, do you think he just killed her?"

"I don't know," Tara said softly.

"She was screaming for me," Nick whispered, his face crumpling. "She died because of me…"

"You don't know that, Nick…" Tara pulled Nick to her in a hug, holding him tight as he began to cry. "Nicky," she whispered, running a hand through his hair.

"It's my fault, she did it for me," Nick wrapped his arms around Tara's back, burying his face in her neck.

"It's not your fault," she argued, but he stopped her with a tight squeeze. "Nick.."

Nick pulled away and looked into her eyes, shaking his head slowly. "You didn't hear that, hear her…she screamed my name, Tara. God, until the day I die, I'm going to hear that," he bit his lip, and shuddered. "A dead girl screaming to me for help."

"I'm so sorry, Nicky," Tara said sadly, her own eyes filling with tears. "He did this, not you."

"Not to that girl, Tara. To her? This was all my fault," Nick said sadly. "She asked me for help, and I didn't save her."

"You didn't know…"

"Right," Nick stood up and sighed, wiping the tears off of his face. "I'm going to get ready for bed," he started walking towards his bedroom, before turning to look back at Tara. "Do you, well, would you mind, I mean…" He rolled his eyes at his own inability to speak, and smiled meekly. "I'm gonna have a hell of a time sleeping now, after that.

Wanna have trouble falling asleep together?"

Tara stood up and smiled, "sure, Nick."

"You know I mean nothing by that, right?" Nick asked her, waving her into his bedroom.

"I mean, after that, trust me…I'm so not thinking of anything else."

"Yeah, I know," Tara gave him another hug. "Honestly, I don't much feel like sleeping alone tonight either." She didn't exactly feel like sleeping at all, but…the expression on Nick's face….he clearly needed to curl up in bed and try to forget what he'd just heard.

"Good," Nick returned the hug, closing his eyes and enjoying the warmth of her body pressed up against his. "We'll keep each other from getting too freaked out tonight."

"Or try, at least," Tara corrected with a soft chuckle.

"Right. We'll try."

***

Tara watched the streets of LA fly by, feeling as if the cab ride home was taking forever.

Finally, the car pulled into the driveway of her building, and she wasn't at all surprised when Andy ran out of his apartment to help her with her bag. "Hey!"

"Hey girl," he grabbed her in a tight hug, and smacked her back. "Have a good weekend?

Miss me?"

"I had an interesting weekend," she said, pulling out her keys and opening the door to her apartment, waving him in. "Sit, let me catch my breath, then I'll tell you." Neither her or Nick had been able to sleep the night before, so they had spent it lying in bed, cuddling, and talking. By the time morning had come, she had managed to convince Nick that it was important that she be able to tell Andy about what was going on. Nick had helped her, in turn, convince Kevin.

"Ok," Andy plopped down on her couch, looking at her carefully. "Something wrong?"

Tara sat down next to him, her purse in her lap. "No, yeah, well, I don't know," she sighed. "I just have some stuff I need to tell you."

"I'm not going anywhere." Andy watched curiously as she dug through her purse. "What are you doing?"

"I got you something," she finally located what she was looking for, and held it in her palm. "Now, promise not to scream when I give you this."

Andy laughed, and shrugged. "Sure, Tar, I won't scream."

"Ok." Tara handed Andy the same condom he had given her when she had left for her trip Friday night.

Andy's brow furrowed, and he stared at the condom in his hand in confusion. "You didn't get lucky, I gather, but I don't get why I would want this…"

"Look closely at it, Andy," Tara told him, laughing when he peered at the condom.

"Something's written on it."

Andy's eyes widened, as he struggled to make out the words written on the wrapper. "To Andy, love," he gasped, and nearly dropped the condom, staring at Tara in amazement.

"Holy shit, Tara, does that, this, oh my god…"

"Read it," she encouraged, grinning at his reaction.

"Love AJ McLean!" Andy screamed and threw his arms around Tara, hugging her tight.

"How the fuck did you get AJ to sign a condom for me? Oh my god, Tara, you are a goddess, this is, oh wow," he sat back, staring at the condom in his hand. "AJ touched this? Oh god. I have to put it down, I can't ruin it," he delicately placed the condom on the table, before turning to Tara. "Hon, you smell like that fancy cologne again."

Tara nodded, "yes, I bet I do."

"That AJ I'm smelling?" Andy barely was able to squeak out the question, staring at Tara in amazement. "You, and my Bone, oh lordy, Tara, how the fuck, what was AJ doing at your friend Sarah's house??"

Tara started laughing, and shook her head, "Andy, I wasn't at my friend Sarah's house."

"You lied to me," Andy accused, his eyes narrowing slightly. "I love the condom and all, but you lied to me…"

"I know, I know, I had to, I'll explain everything," Tara said quickly.

"So is that AJ smell? God, he smells good," Andy grinned.

"No," Tara said hesitantly, looking at Andy with a wry smile. "That's Nick smell."

Andy gasped, and covered his mouth with his hand. "Nick Carter smell?"

Tara nodded slowly, "yes, Nick Carter smell."

"And that sweatsuit you were swimming in last weekend that also smelled like this?"

"Nick's sweats."

Andy's eyes practically burst out of his head as he smacked Tara's shoulder. "Holy jesus fucking christ! I can't believe my very own best friend is sleeping with Nick Carter and she's not even telling me!! How, what, oh my god!"

"I'm not sleeping with Nick," Tara said, rolling her eyes. "Well, sleeping, yes, but only in the literal sense of the word…"

"Whatever, you smell like him, babe, come here," Andy dragged Tara closer to him on the couch and sniffed her, giggling when she smacked him away. "I can't believe I'm smelling Nick Carter on you."

Tara blushed, "god, you say it like that, it sounds so…."

"Erotic?" Andy offered with a grin. "You smell like Nicky."

Tara laughed, "erotic wasn't exactly the word I was going to use."

"I think it is erotic." Andy picked the condom up off the table, and began to examine it again. "So, Tar, are you going to tell me what the hell you're doing getting AJ to sign condoms, and wearing Nick's clothes, or am I just going to have to die wondering?

Because, you know, I think I should be hurt that you lied to me about where you went this weekend, and about last weekend…"

"I had to, Kevin didn't want me to…"

"KEVIN?" Andy screamed, jumping up and pacing across the living room. "Ok, just give me a moment to get used to this here, I really think I'm going to pass out or something.

So you slept with Nick, AJ signed a condom, you're talking to Kevin, what else, Tara?"

Tara sighed heavily, "Andy, calm down, and I'll explain."

"I can't calm down, you're talking about the Backstreet Boys like, like, you're friends with them or something!" Andy told her, his face growing red. When she didn't reply, his mouth dropped open, "holy shit, Tara?"

"I guess I am friends with them," she said, forcing a weak smile onto her face.

Andy fell to the floor, and just stared at her, stunned. "My best friend. Is friends. With the Backstreet Boys," he said in disbelief.

"Sort of, well, yeah."

"Care to explain?"

Tara chuckled, "that's what I've been trying to do, Andy…"

"Then shut up, woman, and tell me!"

So she told him.

***

Chapter 14

The week passed excruciatingly slow for Tara. Every day, she dragged herself into work and watched the chatroom with a hawk's eye, printing out the latest updates to the webpage, collecting as much as possible to show to the guys when the weekend came.

Andy was over at her apartment every night, going over the latest with her, and begging her for more details about how "his AJ" was doing.

And every night, after Andy left, Nick would call, and Tara found herself on the phone with him for hours, talking about anything and everything. She found herself genuinely looking forward to seeing him when Friday night rolled around, and for more reasons than just showing him the latest website update.

As she had the week before, Tara's flight landed in Dallas late Friday night. She was shuttled to the boys' hotel by a bodyguard, and shown up to Nick's room. This time, she opened the door herself, calling out a hello as she walked inside.

Nick was on top of her in an instant, grabbing her tight in a bear hug and refusing to let go. "Francine," he said softly, pulling her body against his as his arms wrapped around her back.

"Smartass," Tara replied, smiling wryly when she tried to pull away and herself unable to. "Nick? Can I put my bag down?"

Nick pulled away with a chuckle, grabbing her bag from her and leading her into the room. "Yeah, yeah, come in," he smiled, putting her things down. "You tired? Thirsty?

Hungry?"

Tara shook her head, looking at her curiously. "You feeling alright, Nick?"

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" He asked, sitting down on the couch and motioning for her to do the same.

"You're being awfully courteous," she said suspiciously.

"Courteous?" Nick shrugged. "Can't I just be nice?"

"Yes, but," Tara sat down and frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Why would you say something's wrong?"

"Because you haven't made one smartass comment since I walked in the door," Tara replied evenly. "Why are you the only one here? Where are the other guys?"

Nick ran a hand though his hair, "they're in their rooms."

"Why?"

"Because I threw them out," Nick said softly.

"And why did you do that?"

Nick sighed, and shook his head, "can't we just forget about that for a while? Be happy, not think about this guy?"

Tara looked at him closely, "tell me what's wrong, Nick, then we can forget about it, ok?

Why did you throw them out?"

"He called again," Nick said, fidgeting uncomfortably. "Last night."

"But…"

"I know I didn't tell you last night," Nick shrugged. "I didn't want you to worry."

Tara smiled weakly, "Nick, I worry about all of you anyway."

"Yeah, well," Nick made a face. "I tried. Anyway, he called Kevin, said that he would get me, when we got to the place where first person shooter games were born, since he intended to play a first person game with me. Kevin doesn't understand what that means," Nick ran a hand through his hair, and shuddered. "I do."

"That means Dallas, I get that, yeah. But that still doesn't explain why you threw them out," Tara frowned. "We're in Dallas. Why the hell would you want to be alone?"

"Because I'm scared shitless and wasn't doing a very good job of hiding it!" Nick said angrily. "Because they're already looking at me like I'm going to fall over at any moment, and it would just be worse if they knew that this asshole said he's coming after me NOW.

Because I just wanted…" his words trailed off, and he sighed heavily. "Doesn't matter."

"Wanted what, Nick?" Tara prompted him gently.

Nick looked at her, his blue eyes bright. "I just wanted you to get here. I knew you'd understand what that clue meant, and I knew you wouldn't look at me like you pity me.

They do."

"I'm worried about you, just like they are."

"It's different," Nick said softly. "It's like they think I'm not worried, so they have to do it for me. You know how scared I am."

"Did you tell the FBI about that call? What it meant?" Tara asked him.

"Yes. They have extra security downstairs," Nick rolled his eyes. "You know, that doesn't make me feel much better…"

"I'm so sorry Nick," Tara said softly. She sat looking at Nick for a moment, before wrapping her arms around his back, hugging him. "I'm so, so sorry," she murmured, feeling his hand come up to tangle in her hair.

"Not your fault."

"I know, but," she hesitantly reached up and ran a hand through his hair, smiling when she felt the silky strands under her fingers. "I feel like I need to say something, do something."

Nick pulled away slightly to look into her eyes, a light smile on his face. "You're helping just by being here," he told her, running a hand along the side of her face. "I knew you'd understand how I felt."

"I do." Tara bit her lip as she stared into the brightest blue eyes she'd ever seen, trying to decide if she should do what she really wanted to do next. She turned her head to nuzzle the palm stroking her cheek, smiling when she heard Nick's breath catch in his throat.

"Nick…"

"I should…do…god…" Nick pulled his hand away, with a sigh of regret. "I can't, not this…"

Tara grabbed his hand before he could get up, and shook her head. "Why don't you want to do this, Nick?" She asked softly, running her fingers over his palm.

"Because, Tara," Nick's eyes widened when she brought his hand to her mouth, gently kissing his fingers. "Tara?" He asked in amazement, staring at her in surprise. "But, what…"

"Maybe you're not such a pretty boy after all," Tara mused, taking her time as she kissed each of his fingertips, loving his startled gasps with each touch of her lips.

"But, oh god…" Nick's word ended in a strangled cry when Tara took his index finger into her mouth, her tongue swirling over the tip. His eyes couldn't grow any wider as he watched her lips move on to another finger, good god, what was she doing to him….

"Or maybe I'm just learning to like pretty boys," she let go of his hand and looked into his eyes, smiling at him. "What do you think, Nick?" She asked coyly, tilting her head at him.

"I don't care," Nick said in a husky voice, before grabbing her face in his hands and kissing her deeply. His hands slid down her neck to her back, and he pulled her closer to him as they remained locked together. Hesitantly, his tongue flickered over her lips, and he heard a soft moan leave Tara's throat as she opened her mouth to him. "Tara," he groaned, losing himself in the taste of her, his tongue exploring her mouth, playing over her teeth, her tongue….god, he had wanted this so badly.

Tara's hands returned to Nick's hair, tightening around the blonde locks to hold his head in place. Never in her life had she been kissed like this, and she never wanted it to end.

She could only stare at Nick in amazement when he pulled away, gasping for breath.

"Nick?" She whispered.

"Will you yell at me if I ask you to come to bed with me?" Nick said in a seductive tone, smiling at her.

"Only if you promise you're thinking very dirty thoughts," she replied with a similar grin.

"Oh, I am," Nick stood up and pulled her into his arms, again finding her lips ready and waiting for him. He found himself swept up in the kiss, his passion taking him over, and slid a hand underneath her shirt, lifting it up and over her head before he'd completely realized what he was doing.

"Nicky," Tara breathed, standing on tip toe, she was forced to lean into him to remain upright as his kisses made her knees weaker and weaker. She felt him deftly unhook her bra, and was only slightly aware of it being flung across the room, before she felt a set of fingers playing over her breast. "Oh god," was all she could say, clinging to Nick's chest as their tongues danced together, her back arching into his hand.

"You're too short," Nick remarked, leaning her back over his arm as his lips slid down her neck, his tongue licking a path down the hollow of her throat, and over to one erect nipple. He caught the rosy peak between his teeth and bit down gently, grinning when he heard a moan leave Tara's throat at the touch. "You like that," he murmured, licking over her before biting down again.

"Nick," Tara's hands were dug into his shirt, clutching the material tight in her fists. She groaned and nearly fell when his fingers wrapped around her other breast, and she gasped, "I'm going to fall, Nick."

Nick chuckled and bent down, sweeping her up into his arms before she had a chance to react. "Can't have that happening, can we," he told her, capturing her lips in another kiss as he walked into the bedroom. He threw her onto the bed, laughing when she scowled at him. "What?"

"Just throw me down like a sack of potatoes, why don't you," she joked, sitting up and reaching out for him. "Come here."

"I promise you, Tara," Nick pulled off his own shirt before joining her on the bed. "I've never wanted to do things like this to a sack of potatoes."

"I should hope not," Tara sighed happily when Nick crawled on top of her, and pressed her body up against his, relishing the feeling of his skin against hers. She ran her hands down his back, and around to the front of his pants, working at the buckle impatiently.

Nick pushed her hands away to finish the task himself, quickly undoing his pants and pushing them down, along with his boxers. He stared at her for a moment when he was finally naked above her, smiling when he saw her eyes fixed on him. "You sure you want to do this?" He asked her softly, bending his head to kiss her lips.

"Positive," Tara replied, squirming as she undid her own pants and kicked them off. "I don't know why, Nick, but you do something to me," she said in awe, watching as he sat up, running his hands along the sides of her body.

"Well, you do something to me too, Tar," Nick smirked, looking down at himself. His fingers slid between her legs feeling her wet and waiting for him. "So that's what I did to you," he cooed, playing over her softness, and relishing the sound of her moans when he touched her just right.

"Yes, Nick," She gasped, pulling at his back urgently. "Nicky, please, I want you."

"Now?" Nick asked, returning to her mouth and lavishing it with kisses. He felt her squirm away, and looked at her expectantly. "Even from a pretty boy?"

"Just from this pretty boy," Tara told him firmly, wrapping her legs around his back.

"And now."

She didn't have to ask twice, Nick quickly positioned himself above her, and slid inside, groaning with pleasure once he felt her warmth surrounding him. He heard her moan as he filled her, and remained still for a moment, letting both of them grow accustomed to the feeling of each other. "You feel so good," he whispered, gently moving his hips with hers as he began to kiss her again, slowly, delicately.

"So do you," Tara gasped, her eyes fluttering shut as pleasure began to move throughout her body.

Nick watched Tara's reaction in amazement, a smile crossing his face. "Your eyes are closed," he whispered, sliding his hands down her arms and taking her hands in his, intertwining their fingers. He placed a kiss on each of her eyelids, hearing her breath grow more and more labored with every thrust of his hips.

"I can't keep them open," she panted, groaning when she felt his movements within her begin to grow faster. "Nick, god, you feel amazing…"

"So it's not because you don't want to see a pretty boy?"

Tara's eyes flew open at that, and she stared at him, unsure for a moment whether or not he was kidding. "Nick, god, if you ask me that now…" her words got caught up in a loud cry, as Nick's mouth had returned to her nipple, and he was sucking on it deeply as his hips worked her below.

"Kidding, baby, just kidding," Nick murmured, returning to her mouth and kissing her.

"You're not going to kill me for calling you baby?"

"Nick, dammit, right now, you can call me anything," she gasped, holding onto his hands tight as he began to move deeper and deeper inside of her.

"Tara," Nick groaned with pleasure, feeling Tara's body beginning to tighten around him.

"You feel so good, oh god," he gasped, his head falling down to rest in her neck as he continued to move in and out of her.

"Don't stop, Nick, please, don't ever stop," Tara begged, her eyes squeezing shut tight.

She felt him push inside of her with a relentless speed and force, her body starting to tremble from the intense pleasure threatening to take her over.

"I won't, I swear baby, I won't," Nick moaned, his tongue licking over her skin, needing to touch something, to feel every inch of her, as much as possible.

Tara let out one last cry of Nick's name, before her body went over the edge, her hands squeezing his tight as pleasure swept over her.

"God, Tara, I love you," Nick cried out as his own peak hit, the tight spasms of her surrounding him setting him off on a wave unlike anything he'd ever felt before. He collapsed on top of her, fighting for breath as they both came down from their high.

Tara's eyes flew open when she heard Nick's cry, and she held him tight, unable to believe what he'd just said, and how she felt about his words. "Oh, Nick," she whispered, giving his hands one last squeeze, and laughing when they didn't react. He was definitely relaxed now, she thought with a giggle. She felt like she couldn't stop grinning, and carefully untangled one hand to run it through his hair. "You're all sweaty," she remarked, brushing at the beads of sweat on his forehead.

"What can I say, I'm a hot pretty boy," Nick giggled, rolling off of her and pulling her into his chest. "And you're a pretty hot girl."

"Aww, you say that to all the girls you've just made love to," Tara joked, kissing him deeply.

"Busted," Nick grinned and returned the kiss with vigor, before sitting up. "I'm thirsty.

You thirsty?"

"I know I want something," Tara smiled, letting her eyes trail over Nick's body.

"You'll get lots more, but first I think I need water," Nick stood up and smacked his lips together comically. "I'll be just a minute, baby," he leaned down to give her a deep kiss, laughing when he felt her arms around his neck, trying to drag him back on top of her.

"So don't go anywhere," he laughed as he pulled her arms off of him. "I'll be right back, I swear."

"Better be," Tara told him, watching appreciatively as he walked out of the room. God, that boy had an amazing body... She stretched out in the large bed, unable to believe what she'd just done, what she intended to continue doing a lot more of. Nick Carter.

And her. Who would have ever guessed it? Well, Andy….all week he'd been telling her how much he thought she belonged with Nick, how it was no surprise to him that she'd become such good friends with him, that it only made sense.

Tara sat up when she heard a soft thud in the room beyond, rolling her eyes. "Don't trip over anything, Kaos, I want you back here in one piece." She sighed, and ran a hand through her hair, laughing when she felt the tangled mess around her head. What exactly had Nick been doing to her hair to mess it up so much, she wondered? Well, whatever it was, she definitely wanted more of it. "Nick?" She called, frowning when she still heard no reply. "Nicky?"

Tara got out of bed and grabbed Nick's t-shirt from the floor, slipping it over her head.

She padded out to the living room, looking around in confusion. "Nick?" Her breath caught in her throat when she realized she didn't see him anywhere. She ran to the bathroom, pushing open the door, "please tell me you're in here?"

It was empty.

"Nick?" She turned around and looked around the living room again, panic and dread filling her heart. "NICK!" She screamed, hoping against hope he was playing some awful joke on her and hiding, somewhere, and would come out when he heard her.

But there was no reply.

"Oh god, Nicky," Tara's eyes filled with tears, and she stared at the empty room, wondering what the hell she was supposed to do now.

Nick was gone.

***

Chapter 15

Tara was fighting hysteria as she ran into the hallway, staring at the closed doors. What was she supposed to do? Who's door could she knock on? Where was who?? She paced back and forth, listening for a sound, and crying harder when she didn't hear one. "God, help me," she whispered, leaning against the wall and wiping her cheeks. "What do I do?" Finally, she just took a deep breath and screamed Kevin's name, praying he would hear her.

A door down the hallway opened, and she ran over, falling into Kevin's arms as he stepped out.

"What's wrong?" He asked with alarm, taking in her tears, and lack of clothing.

"Nick, god, he's, Kevin, I can't," Tara babbled, clutching onto Kevin in her panic.

"What's going on?" Brian walked into the hallway, his eyes widening when he saw Tara in Kevin's arms. "Tara?"

"What the fuck," AJ stumbled out of his room, rubbing his eyes. "Did someone scream?"

"In my room, everyone, now," Kevin ordered when Howie joined them in the hallway.

"We're not talking out here."

"Where's Nick?" Howie asked as he followed them into the room, frowning at the sight of Tara hanging on to Kevin for support. "Tara?"

Kevin sat Tara down, wrapping an arm around her shoulders protectively. "Tara, you need to tell us what's going on," he said with a calmness he didn't feel, looking at her closely.

"What did Nick do to you?" AJ asked harshly, sitting down across from her with a scowl.

"Why are you like this?"

"Nick didn't do anything," Tara said, shaking her head furiously. "He went to go get water, and, now…he's gone!" she got out, before choking on her tears, doubling over as she sobbed. "He's just gone!"

"Gone?" Brian gasped, his face turning green. "What do you mean, gone?"

"I don't know where he is," Tara cried, looking at Kevin for help. "He just disappeared."

Kevin's eyes widened, and he stared at her for a moment, before turning to AJ. "Go search the floor, see if maybe Nick went to go get ice or something." To Howie, "get to a phone, call Palmer, after last night's clue, she was going to head here anyway, get her ass here now." And to Brian, "get Billy."

Tara watched, wide-eyed, as the three men scrambled out of the room, still crying softly.

She couldn't believe this was happening. Her skin was still flushed from what she'd done, she could still feel him inside of her, his body surrounding her, how could he just be…gone? "Kevin, that guy, he said he was going to hurt Nick here," she said through tears, shuddering as he tightened his arm around her.

"I know, Tara," he said sadly, shaking his head. "We're gonna find Nicky, we won't let him get hurt."

"God, no," she whispered. "This can't be, god," she still felt slightly giddy from making love with Nick, her body refusing to acknowledge what was truly going on. This just didn't happen!! "Nick, god, Kevin, he has to be ok…"

AJ ran back in to the room, out of breath from running around the hall. "I looked everywhere, Kev, nothing."

"He didn't go to get ice," Tara mumbled, running a hand through her hair. "He wouldn't have, not naked…." She looked up, interrupted by Brian returning with Nick's bodyguard close behind.

"What?!" AJ choked out.

"Nick's gone," Kevin told Billy, nodding solemnly when Billy stared at him in surprise.

"How?" Billy asked, frowning at the sight of Tara crying. "What'd she have to do with it?"

Tara gasped and stared at Billy, "I didn't have anything to do with it!"

"Then why you crying?" He asked her, frowning when she just began to cry harder.

"Jesus, Billy, back off," Kevin told him, looking at Tara sadly. "You're going to have to tell us exactly what happened, Tara…"

Tara bit her lip hard, and tried to compose herself, hugging her chest tight. She looked up when Howie walked into the room, watching him in a daze.

"She's on her away," Howie reported, sitting down and looking at Tara with a frown. "So, where's Nick, Tara?"

"I don't know!" She cried, shrugging off Kevin's arm when he tried to comfort her. "Stop it," she pushed him away with a frown, shaking her head. "I can't, don't," she couldn't handle being touched right now, not when she was still feeling Nick….

"Why was Nick naked, Tara?" AJ said slowly, glaring at the heads that spun to stare at him. "What? She said it!"

Tara buried her face in her hands, not knowing how in the world she was going to say what she had to. "Nick, we, god," she stammered, unable to look at the eyes fixed on her as she spoke. "We were in the bedroom, and then he went out to get water, and he just…didn't come back."

"Nick went out to get water without any clothes on?" Billy asked, rolling his eyes when Kevin frowned at him. "It's important, Kevin, Nick couldn't exactly go walking around the hotel naked."

"Just into the other room, he said he'd be right back!" Tara sobbed, shaking her head.

"He said he'd be right back," she repeated, her shoulders slumping as she hunched over on the couch.

"Did you hear anything?" Brian asked, biting his own lip against tears.

She nodded slowly, "a thud, but, I thought Nick had just walked into something, or whatever, I didn't think anything of it…"

"What kind of thud?" AJ asked, his eyes narrowing. "You heard a thud and didn't do anything?"

"I went out to see what was going on when Nick didn't come back," Tara told him, pulling her knees up under the t-shirt and shivering. "But I thought he was coming back, I mean, we'd just, god," she hugged her knees tight. "I didn't expect him to just disappear!"

"So no sounds of a struggle, no nothing?" Billy asked, frowning deeply.

"Nothing."

"What did you do then?" Howie asked, looking Tara over carefully. "That's Nick's shirt…"

Tara nodded slowly, "I put it on before going to look at him, my clothes were in the living room," she bit her lip as her tears began to fall again. God, how could this happen…. "I went out to look, and he wasn't there. That's when I went into the hall and called for Kevin."

"Ok, I need to go make some phone calls," Billy pulled out his cell phone, and looked around the room, catching everyone's eyes with his. "None of you are to go anywhere, understand? We're going to find Nick, but I'm not losing any of you in the process. We have people who will go look for him, don't you go doing it."

"Gotcha," Kevin watched as Billy walked out of the room, before turning to the other guys with a frown. "We'll find Nick, well, they'll find Nick," he corrected himself. "I'm sure of it."

Tara looked at him sadly, "before or after he gets hurt, Kevin?" She couldn't bring herself to say what the guy had threatened to do to Nick, not now that it might actually happen.

Kevin found himself fighting his own tears, and Brian gasped loudly, both of them just now realizing what Nick's torture had been threatened to be. "Oh god. Before, Tara, christ, we gotta find him before."

***

"Tara, sweetie, wake up," Brian shook her gently, sighing when she refused to stir. She'd been crying in Kevin's arms for hours, until she fell asleep on the couch, but now that the FBI was here, they needed to talk to her. Whatever had happened between her and Nick, it clearly had some kind of effect on her, she was totally distraught over his disappearance. As were they all… "Tara, wake up," he tried again.

"You think she fucked Nick?" AJ said bluntly, his eyes widening when Brian glared at him. "What? Nick kept saying it wasn't gonna happen, and then he's naked…"

"I think it's pretty obvious that she did," Brian said softly, running a hand over her tear stained cheeks. "I think she's fallen for him, big time."

"Great," AJ said dryly. "Think this is part of this creep's plan? Send a girl in to win Nick's heart, then take him away?"

"I don't think Tara is part of it," Kevin said firmly, shaking his head. "And thinking that way is not helping things at all."

"Man, she sleeps like the dead," Brian frowned, shaking her again. "Tara?"

Tara's eyes slowly fluttered open, and she stared at Brian, sitting up straight on the couch. "Nick? Did you find Nick?"

Brian shook his head slowly, "no, Agent Palmer's here."

"Oh," her face fell, and she ran a hand through her hair, before nodding. "Where?"

"You should put some clothes on first," Brian said gently, gesturing to her bare legs.

"You're probably freezing."

"My clothes are in Nick's room," Tara ran her hand over the t-shirt she was wearing, feeling tears come to her eyes. "I don't want to take this off," she said softly, grabbing the fabric tightly. It was Nick's, it still smelled like him, she needed to have that around her.

Some underwear would be nice, though, she thought as she shivered.

"You can't go into your room now anyway, they're dusting for prints," Kevin said, going to his bag and pulling out a pair of sweatpants. "You can put these on," he handed them to her.

Tara stood up, pulling the t-shirt down as she stood. "Thanks," she mumbled, walking into the bathroom and closing the door behind her.

"I still don't know about her," AJ said suspiciously. "Doesn't it seem a little weird, she shows up, all of this stuff happens, she sweeps Nicky off of his feet…."

"The FBI ran a check on her, like they did everyone," Howie reminded him. "They didn't find anything."

"The FBI's been fucking useless so far, why would we expect them to help now?" AJ

argued. He sighed when Tara walked out of the bathroom, shaking his head. "Whatever.

Ignore me."

"We always do, Bone," Kevin joked half-heartedly.

"So I need to talk to the FBI?" Tara asked, looking around the room. She caught AJ's glare, and returned it, frowning. "What?"

"Nothing," he sighed, and shook his head. "Go talk."

"Ok…" she shrugged, and followed Kevin out of the room.

***

A few hours later, Nick was no closer to being found, and the group was just growing more panicked. AJ was pacing back and forth, Kevin was nearly drunk, Brian was sitting on the couch, unable to move, Howie was biting his nails off, and Tara was staring at her computer, wishing somehow, somewhere, she would find some clue that would tell her where Nick was.

She also had a feeling that the group didn't quite believe her story about Nick just disappearing out of the room. She had tried to remember more details of what had happened, but all she could remember was a thud. Just a thud. Which didn't tell them much at all.

"Dammit, show up," she told the screen angrily, watching the text in the chatroom fly by.

Why wasn't he here? She clicked over to the webpage and hit reload, her eyes widening when she saw something new appear on the page.

LIVE WEBCAST STARTING NOW it proclaimed in large text, with a link off to another page. Tara clicked on the link, watching as the page loaded. She gasped, and nearly fell off the chair when the image fully loaded, unable to believe what she was seeing.

"What?" Brian jumped off of the couch and ran over to her, crying out when he saw the image on the screen. "Oh no…"

"It's Nick," she whispered, touching the image with her finger. And it was…. Nick was naked, sitting on a chair, his hands behind his back, his eyes darting around the room, fear etched into his face. "Nicky…"

The rest of the group gathered around the computer, each letting out a gasp when they saw Nick on the screen. "Oh god," Kevin gasped, before leaving the room and going to get the FBI.

"Maybe there's sound," Tara clicked around on the screen and turned up the volume on the computer, covering her hand with her mouth when she heard the unmistakable sound of Nick begging for help.

"Oh god, poor Nicky," Howie said, his eyes wide as he stared at the image. "Where is he?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Agent Palmer walked into the room with Kevin, bending down and peering at the screen. "Cute, he got a backdrop so we can't see the background," she said wryly, noting the black sheet hung up behind Nick.

"The show will begin in a moment," they heard a deep voice say, followed by text scrolling across the screen. "NEVER ASSUME…"

"Nobody really talks like that," Howie frowned, staring at the screen.

"They're running some kind of filter," Tara said softly, covering her face with her hands and staring out between her fingers. As much as she didn't want to watch, she couldn't tear her eyes away, not when Nick was right there. "Oh, god wait," she jumped up and ran to Kevin. "Give me your cellphone, let me call Tommy, find out where this is coming from."

"Don't you dare," Agent Palmer said quickly, gesturing for Tara to sit back down. "You record this, and we'll have enough for a subpoena. You hack it, and we can't do anything."

"You can stop this!" Tara shouted at her, taking the cellphone Kevin handed her and dialing quickly. "Goddamit, Tommy, answer," she begged, checking her watch with a frown. "Shit, he's probably still asleep." It was 7am in Dallas, which made it 5 in California. "Shit!"

"Good, hacking is a bad idea," Palmer said harshly.

"Hacking could stop this guy NOW!" Kevin told her, frowning when she just rolled her eyes at him. "You know what? Get the fuck out of here."

Palmer looked at him in surprise, before shaking her head, "no, I need to see this."

"If you're not going to do anything about it until later, then you can see it later," Kevin said firmly, his eyes blazing angrily. "Now get the hell out of here. We all love Nick, and this is going to break our hearts, as well as his. I don't want anyone in here who doesn't care."

Palmer snorted, "I care, Kevin, really…"

"Get out, or I will drag you out," AJ stood up and stared at her, squaring his shoulders.

He winced when a loud cry left the computer, biting his lip. "You don't seem to care that MY BROTHER is the one screaming like that. Get out."

"Fine," she sighed. "Call me when its over."

"Fuck you," AJ told her as she left, shaking his head. "How can she just sit by and watch? How can we?"

"We can't do anything," Kevin said sadly, watching as another figure joined Nick on screen. The person was wearing black from head to toe, a black ski mask covering their face. "So that's him?"

"Must be," Tara said softly, retaking her seat in front of the computer.

"Tell me, Nick, does this sound familiar?" The deep voice was heard asking, followed by a high pitched scream.

Nick's face contorted, and he jerked away from the person trying to touch him, screaming at them to get away, and not to hurt her. Tears ran down his cheeks as the person ran a hand through his hair.

"Oh god no, don't touch him," Tara began to cry, shaking as she watched another person walk into the camera's view.

"Holy shit, there are two of them," AJ gasped, watching in horror as the second person, dressed the same as the first, handed something to the other.

"No, please, don't," they could hear Nick begging through the computer's speakers, as his head was yanked back. "Don't hurt me," he pleaded, his chest heaving with the force of his sobs.

"Relax, Nicky, maybe you'll like this," the deep voice said with a laugh.

"NO!" Brian screamed, watching in horror as the object in the first person's hand was shoved into Nick's mouth.

Tara covered her own mouth as she began to sob, the gagging sounds leaving Nick's throat the worst sound she'd ever heard. "Stop it, please, stop it…"

"We have to do something, where the hell are they?!" AJ shouted, jumping up and down, unable to sit still and watch Nick be tortured like this. "STOP THEM!"

The people on screen yanked Nick out of the chair and forced him to stand, one of them punching him in the stomach when he struggled against them.

"No, no, no," Brian chanted, shaking his head non-stop as he watched. "Don't, they can't, oh god," his whole body shook when he saw them force Nick to turn around and bend over, his rear to the camera. "NO!"

"Guys, I got something," Palmer burst back into the room, out of breath. "I thought that chair looked familiar, it belongs to this hotel. We got a list of all the rooms with a modem line in use right now, and we're checking them now."

"Well, goddammit, hurry up!" Brian screamed, covering his hand with his mouth as he saw the second person walk off screen. "Look at him, you have to hurry up!"

"We are, we are," Palmer nodded. "I'm going to help, I'll let you know if we make any progress," she ran out of the room, biting her lip when she heard the gagging sounds eminating from the computer.

"Oh no, god, please, stop them," Kevin pleaded, falling to his knees and watching in horror when the person returned to the first, holding another object between his hands.

"Nick, oh god…"

"Nicky, I'm so sorry," Tara whispered, sobbing uncontrollably as she watched the screen.

"Please, I'm so sorry…"

A loud scream was heard in the hallway, and all heads in the room turned around to stare in surprise.

"What was that?" Howie asked, his eyes wide, dreading the answer.

"I don't know," Kevin shook his head slowly, torn between watching Nick, and looking to see what was going out in the hallway . He chose the latter, deciding nobody needed to see what was about to happen to Nick, much less him. "I'll be right back," he said, standing up on shaky knees and walking to the door.

"Be careful," Brian begged Kevin, absolutely terrified over what was going on.

"I will be," Kevin told him, slowly, carefully opening the door. "Just stay here. I will be."

A second scream filled the air, and Kevin stepped into the hallway.

***

Chapter 16

"No, oh my god, no, stop," Tara cried, watching as the second figure returned to the screen, dark object in hand.

"Oh jesus no," AJ hissed, turning to stare at the door when another scream ended in a loud crash. "What the…"

"What the fuck was that?" Howie stood up and ran to the door, opening it just as Kevin walked back in. "What happened?"

"Goddamn tape recorder," Kevin said angrily, waving a note in the air. "Says 'don't assume.'"

"Oh shit," Brian whispered, covering his face with his hands as he saw the people on screen holding Nick in place. "Don't, god don't," he begged wincing when he saw one of them hold an object to Nick's rear.

The tortured sounds coming from the computer increased tenfold in volume when the object first touched Nick's skin, and they could all see his body shake as he struggled to get away.

Tara winced at the loud scream that came from the computer, and she watched through her fingers as the object was forced into Nick's rear. "Oh christ," she whispered in horror, unable to believe what she was seeing.

The computer's speakers crackled at the loud sound of Nick trying to scream in agony around the object in his throat, and the group could only watch as his legs buckled under him, the two people dressed in black holding him up for the camera's view.

"STOP IT, JESUS, STOP IT!" AJ screamed, smacking his hand on the table angrily.

"Where's the goddamn FBI? STOP THEM!"

The people let Nick go, and he fell to his knees on the floor, writhing in pain. They stepped away, allowing the group watching to see Nick's hands taped behind him, leaving him incapable of removing either object from his mouth or his rear.

"We told you we would play a game," the deep voice said, followed by a higher pitched giggle. "Why didn't you believe us?"

One of the people walked to Nick and yanked the gag out of his mouth, throwing it across the room.

Nick let out a tortured scream as he fell onto his stomach, sobbing uncontrollably. The group could only watch, helplessly, as Nick looked up at his captors, and begged them to take the object out of him.

"Leave him alone, please," Tara cried, gasping when Nick tried to roll over onto his back, only to stop in pain. "God, he can't even move," she sobbed, covering her mouth with his hands.

One of the captors looked up, appearing startled, and ran off camera for a moment.

"It looks like our broadcast is to end early," the deep voice informed them. "So this is goodnight. Remember this. Brian, you're next…"

And then the screen went dark.

"NO!" Kevin screamed, reaching forward and smacking the computer angrily. "Give us back Nick, what's going on?"

"I don't know," Tara clicked around on the computer, her hands shaking as she tried to work the mouse. "The signal was cut, he's offline," and the link to the webcast was now a 404.

Brian ran from the room, and a moment later the group could hear retching noises coming from the bathroom.

"That's what I feel like doing," Howie said softly, shaking from head to toe.

Tara got up and ran into the hallway, followed closely by Kevin, AJ and Howie. "Where is he?" She looked up and down the hall, breathing heavily in her panic. "She said they were going to find him, where?"

A shout, followed by a loud yell of "he's in here!" was heard from around the corner, and the group took off at top speed, running around the corner and into the room with the open door.

"NICK!" Tara shouted, shoving past the FBI agents in the doorway and falling to her knees next to him.

Nick was still lying on his stomach, his arms taped together behind him. He turned his head at the sound of Tara's voice, and looked up at her, his blue eyes bright red. "Please, get it out," he begged her, shaking with pain.

Tara stared at his rear, gasping when she saw the base of the dildo protruding from him.

"Oh god, Nick…"

Kevin skidded to a stop a foot away, gasping when he saw what Nick was asking Tara to do. "Stop," he told AJ and Howie, making them all turn around and keep the other agents out for the time being.

"I, god, I can't…" her hand trembled as she reached forward, crying when she touched it.

"Just get it out!" Nick screamed at her, crying out in pain when she pulled on it gently.

"Goddammit, Tara, do it!"

Tara bit her lip, and yanked hard, screaming herself when the bloody dildo emerged.

"Shit," she gasped, dropping the object onto the floor.

"Oh god," Nick began to cry as he rolled over onto his back and sat up. "No," he turned away when he saw Kevin walk towards him, shaking his head quickly. "Go away, not like this," he mumbled, looking at Tara helplessly.

"Guys, get him some clothes, and give me some scissors," she said quickly, realizing what Nick was so ashamed of.

"Gotcha," Kevin turned around and left the room, running down the hall to get Nick some clothing.

AJ located a pair of scissors, and handed them to Tara, covering his eyes with his hand so he didn't have to look at Nick.

"Ok, I'm gonna cut this now, Nick," Tara said softly, crawling around to his back and holding his hands. They had been bound together tight with duct tape, and she could see his fingertips turning purple from the lack of circulation. She quickly cut the tape, then pulled it off, wincing at the cry that left Nick's lips as the hair was ripped off of his arm.

"I'm so sorry," she said softly, crawling back around until she was facing him.

Nick just looked at her dimly, rubbing his hands together.

"Here," Kevin handed Tara a shirt and pants for Nick, and tried not to watch as she slipped the shirt over his head.

"I need you to stand up so I can put the pants on," Tara said, giving Nick a hug before standing up. "Ok?"

"I don't think I can," Nick said weakly, pushing himself up off the floor, and nearly falling over.

"Kevin? AJ?" Tara turned around to look at them, her heart breaking when Nick cried out in protest. "Nicky, I know you don't want them to see you, but I can't hold you up on my own."

"Fine," Nick said blankly, feeling as if he couldn't be humiliated any more.

Kevin and AJ each slipped an arm around Nick's shoulder and hauled him up, holding him steady while Tara worked his legs through the pants, and pulled them up.

"You guys should bring him back to the room," Tara said, her eyes not leaving Nick for an instant.

"We're going to need to talk to him," Agent Palmer stopped them from leaving, looking at Nick closely. "How do you feel, Nick?"

Nick's eyes narrowed as he looked at her, before he turned his head away. "Fuck you," he spat out.

"You can talk to him tomorrow," Tara said quickly, pushing the Agent out of the way so AJ and Kevin could walk Nick out.

"I need to talk to you too," Palmer insisted, following them into the hallway.

"Tomorrow," Tara said, glaring angrily at the useless FBI Agent. "Tomorrow."

***

"He's asleep," Tara closed the bedroom door behind her quietly, and sat down next to Kevin on the couch, taking a deep breath.

"How is he?" Howie asked, concerned.

"He cried himself to sleep, I had to fight him to get him to let me hold him, he's in a lot of pain, how do you think he's doing, Howie?" She glared at him for a moment, before sighing heavily. "I'm sorry, it's not your fault, but, god, he's a mess, and there's nothing I can do, other than tell him he'll be ok."

"He will be ok," Kevin said firmly, looking at Tara. "And I'm sure he's very grateful that you're here for him."

"I guess," she frowned. "Although I haven't done much good."

"Trust me, Tara, none of us would have been able to do what you did for Nick tonight,"

AJ said softly, meeting her eyes and smiling lightly. "You're a very strong person."

Tara looked at AJ in surprise, well aware that he had been the most suspicious of her for a while now. "Thank you," she said, nodding her head at him.

"The room Nick was in, it's one of ours," Kevin said gently, wincing when Tara gasped in horror. "I know, I know…"

"What do you mean it's one of yours?" She asked, staring at him.

"It belongs to our tour. To one of the stage hands, to be specific, we called him and woke him up when we found out who the room was registered to," Kevin sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. "The FBI's interviewing him right now, but what he said to me, anyway, was that he had met someone in the hotel bar, and spent the night in their room.

When we called to wake him up, he found himself alone."

"Do you believe him?"

Kevin shrugged, "I can't see him lying. I mean, if you were going to do this to Nick, you'd be real stupid to do it in a room that WE were paying for, and could trace, you know?

And what gripe would a roadie have with us?"

"I guess," Tara said, curling up onto the couch and hugging her knees tight. "I can't believe this day, so much has happened," she said softly.

"Morning," Kevin corrected, looking at the clock. "It's only 9am."

"So the last 12 hours," she took a deep breath, and sighed. "So much…"

"We should all try to get some sleep," Kevin said, looking around the room at AJ and Howie pointedly. Brian had already headed off to bed, he'd been totally distraught by Nick's condition, and Kevin had told him he'd be better off getting some rest.

"Gotcha," AJ nodded, and waved to Tara. "If you need any help with kiddo, give me a call."

"Thanks," she smiled wryly. "I'm sure I'll be fine."

Howie waved, and followed AJ out of the door, leaving Kevin and Tara alone.

Tara stared at the back of the door as it closed behind them, shaking her head slowly.

"Only 12 hours, huh."

Kevin nodded, "you and Nick, you guys have something special going, huh."

Tara sighed, "I don't know. I thought, but then he disappeared, and now…." She shrugged. "I'm here for him."

"He's going to need that," Kevin stood up and stretched, yawning loudly. "With everything that's happened, it's a very good thing he has you."

"I guess," Tara stood up, and Kevin pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back. "I don't know, Kevin, how am I ever going to forget what I saw? What I had to do? How will HE

ever forget?"

Kevin shuddered, and shook his head. "I don't think you really can, Tara. But remember that he made it through, that's the important thing."

"Right."

"Go to bed, you need some sleep," Kevin told her, kissing her forehead before pushing her in the direction of the bedroom. "Nick shouldn't wake up in there and find himself alone."

"Ok." Tara couldn't suppress a small laugh.

"What?" He asked, looking at her curiously.

"Nick always says you'll know what to do, that you're the father of the group." She smiled, and shrugged. "He's right. It's nice to have a father around."

Kevin beamed with pride, and hugged her again. "Thank you, Tara. Now get to bed."

"I will. Goodnight Kevin."

"Goodnight."

***

Tara was awakened by the sound of Nick screaming, and she gasped when she felt a hand strike her in the face. "Nick, oh god, Nick," she sat up and grabbed his shoulders, shaking him gently. "Wake up," she begged him, ducking out of the way as his hands flailed above him.

"NO!" He screamed, tears rolling down his face as he tried to hit anything and everything within arms reach, including Tara.

"You're dreaming, Nick, wake up!" Tara pleaded, shaking him hard, not knowing what else to do. "Oh god," she cried out when she felt him land a hard fist on her eye, and blinked rapidly, trying to see him through the tears that immediately formed from the pain. "WAKE UP!"

Nick's movements stilled, and he slumped back in the bed, his eyes slowly opening to focus on Tara. "Tara?" He asked her, frowning at the tears in her eyes, and her hand pressed to her face.

"You were dreaming, Nick," she said softly, reaching down to wipe the tears from his cheek. "A bad dream."

Nick stared at her for a moment, before rolling over in bed, turning his back on her as he shook his head. "That was no dream, Tara, I still…" He took a shaky breath, before choking out. "I still feel it."

"You're ok now," she told him, lying down next to him, and wrapping her arms around his waist. "You're ok now, Nick, and nobody will ever hurt you again," she said firmly, pressing her chest up to his back, needing to feel the physical reminder that he was there, and he was all right.

Nick shuddered, and moved away from her on the bed. "Go away," he said softly, refusing to turn around to look at her.

"Nick?" Tara's arms tightened around him, and she kissed his back, "I don't think you should be alone right now…"

"Goddammit, Tara, get out of here!" Nick's head turned around, and he glared at her angrily. "Don't you get it? I know what you did, and, god, how can I look at you and not remember that?"

Tara's eyes widened, and she stared at him, "but, Nick, I had to…."

"I don't want to think about it," he said firmly, biting his lip as his eyes filled with tears.

"Just get out." He rolled back over on the bed, pulling her arms off of him, and curled up into a ball.

"If you're sure," Tara said hesitantly, sitting up, and looking down at him in bed. When he didn't reply, she got up and left the room, her heart breaking when she heard Nick begin to sob as the door closed behind her.

"How is he?"

Tara jumped at the question, not expecting to find anyone in the living room of the suite.

She looked at Brian in surprise, before shaking her head slowly. "He's not doing too good," she said softly, sitting down in a chair and covering her face with her hands as she began to cry.

"Should I go talk to him?" Brian asked, a concerned expression on his face. "What did he say to you?"

"It doesn't matter," she shook her head slowly, and fought to control her tears. "I don't know if he wants to talk to anyone right now. Definitely not me, though…"

"Palmer's coming by in an hour to talk to Nick," Kevin walked into the room, his eyes widening when he saw Tara. "What are you doing out here?"

"Nick threw me out," she said, looking away from the green eyes staring at her with so much worry. "I don't think he's in any shape to talk to Palmer."

"He really doesn't have a choice, I'm afraid," Kevin said sadly. "She does need to know what happened, from Nick's point of view."

"We all saw it," Brian said, shuddering at the memory. "What more does she need to know?"

"There were hours between when Nick was taken, and that webcast," Kevin reminded Brian. "We don't know what happened then. She needs to know."

"I guess," Brian said timidly, running a hand through his hair. "And I'm next."

"AJ's on your computer right now trying to figure that part out," Kevin looked at Tara. "I hope that's ok?"

"Sure," she shrugged. "If he can find anything useful…I never did."

"Tara…."

"I'm going to go take a shower," she stood up, not wanting to hear them tell her once again, how much she'd 'helped.' Yeah, right, if she'd helped so much, why was Nick in the bedroom crying now? "I want to be here when Palmer talks to Nick."

"Sure, you will be," Kevin nodded his agreement. "I think that would be good for Nick too."

Tara sighed, "I don't know about that, but, I'd still like to be here for it."

"We'll talk after your shower."

"Ok," Tara stepped into the bathroom, as she heard AJ charge into the room beyond.

Well, whatever he had to say, it could wait. First…she needed to take a shower…as Andy would say, she still had Nick smell on her. Everywhere. Time to wash it off.

***

Chapter 17

Tara stepped out of the bathroom after her shower dressed in clean clothes, finding AJ, Brian, Kevin and Howie all gathered in the living room of the suite. "Hey," she said softly, taking a seat next to Brian.

"Palmer just called, she'll be here in a few minutes," Kevin told her, sighing heavily. "Do you want to go get Nick?"

Tara stared at Kevin for a moment, considering the question. Yes, she did, but….she didn't think she could handle hearing him yell at her to get away again. Not after everything, god…he'd said he'd loved her. She hadn't thought about that very much in the last day, but now, in the shower, she hadn't been able to stop thinking about it. She wondered if he still did. "I don't know if I should."

"You better than anyone," AJ said, smiling weakly at her. "He trusts you, that much is clear."

"He trusts all of you too," she pointed out, looking around the room at them. "And you guys didn't have to…." She bit her lip hard, not able to finish the sentence.

"Oh." Kevin sighed, and nodded. "Brian, will you go?"

Brian looked from Kevin to Tara in confusion, having not been in the room when Tara found Nick, he hadn't seen everything that had transpired. "Sure, I guess." He got up and knocked on the bedroom door, opening it slowly and disappearing inside.

"While Brian's in there, I guess I should tell you," AJ turned to Tara, a sad expression on his face. "He put up Brian's bit."

Tara just looked at AJ dimly, feeling as if it wouldn't be possible for her to get any more upset, any more afraid, than she already was. "And?"

"It was 'maybe your faith is gone,' and that Brian should make sure he 'truly' knows those around him," AJ sighed. "Does that make any sense to you?"

Tara shook her head slowly, "what song of yours is that?"

"It's True," Howie said, frowning. "Kevin, we really need to cancel the rest of the tour, this is getting nuts…"

"I talked to Palmer about it this morning, and she said no," Kevin said firmly. "We're more of a target at home."

"We're gonna BE home next weekend, with or without the tour," AJ reminded him. "We play Orlando, remember?"

"We're not staying at our houses, though," Kevin said.

"We're not?" AJ's eyes widened, and he shook his head rapidly. "Oh no fucking way, man, I'm going HOME, I miss my dogs, my bed…"

"It's not safe," Kevin interrupted. "We're all staying in a hotel."

"In ORLANDO?" Howie said in disbelief. "This is bullshit, Kevin!"

"This is what we have to do."

"I still say we cancel," Howie insisted. "So we don't go home, we all go away somewhere.

How the hell is Nicky supposed to get up on stage and perform like….like…"

"He will," Kevin said bluntly. "He has to. We're off tonight, and he will be fine tomorrow night."

"HOW?" AJ stared at Kevin, his eyes wide. "Kevin, Nick was RAPED, do you get that?

He needs some time to himself, not on stage with thousands of girls expecting him to sing and dance and be normal!"

"Nick needs…"

"Why don't you let ME be the judge of what I need?" Nick interrupted, walking out of the bedroom with Brian's support.

"Oh, Nicky," AJ breathed, wincing at his own loud mouth. "I'm sorry, you weren't supposed to hear…"

"Forget it," Nick hobbled over to a chair, sitting down carefully. "I heard."

"Your face," Howie's eyes widened as he looked at the bruises on Nick's cheeks. "You were hit?"

Nick shrugged. "Among other things."

"We didn't see them hit you," AJ frowned.

Nick's eyes widened, and he looked at AJ in confusion. "What do you mean, you didn't see?"

"The camera, we didn't see them hit you…"

"Yes we did, in the stomach, they sucker punched him," Howie interrupted AJ with a wave. "I remember."

Nick's face turned green, as he turned to stare at Howie. "What do you mean, you saw?"

He asked slowly.

"There was a camera in the room, Nick, didn't you know?" Kevin asked softly, his own eyes widening when Nick's face crumpled. "Oh god, you didn't know…"

"You saw…everything?" Nick looked at Kevin in horror, before turning away, staring at the floor in front of him. "Oh god."

"We didn't want to see, Nicky, but we had to…" Kevin tried to explain, but Nick waved him off angrily. "It was online, we had to see!"

"On line," Nick repeated, his shoulders slumping. "Where online?"

"It was on his website," Tara said softly. "He had a webcam."

"So the whole fucking world saw?" Nick's voice took on a harsh tone, and he looked up to glare at Tara. "Your goddamn website let the whole WORLD see me?"

Tara stared at Nick for a moment, before bowing her head. "I'm sorry, Nicky."

"Yeah, so am I," Nick replied.

"Hey Nick," Agent Palmer picked that moment to walk into the room, smiling lightly at the group. "Ready to tell us what happened yesterday?"

Nick looked at her dully, before rolling his eyes. "Sure. This can't get any worse, now, can it?"

Palmer replied with a soft chuckle. "Nick, don't ever say that. Because, well, sure it can."

And it would.

***

"How long can she talk to him?" Kevin paced back and forth impatiently, kicking at the carpet. Agent Palmer had thrown the group out of the room when Nick had started to cry, saying that he would have an easier time telling her what happened without them there. So now they could only wait, and wonder what he was telling her.

"Nick's face is a mess, do you think they beat him?" Howie asked softly.

"Sure looks like they did," Brian said sadly. He looked at Tara curiously, his eyes narrowed. "You look like you were a little beaten too…"

Tara shrugged. "It's nothing."

"It's a shiner," AJ told her with a small grin. "Been boxing?"

"Nick, she explained, touching the bruise on her face. "He didn't mean to…"

"Damn," AJ shook his head. "You know Nick would never intentionally hit you…"

"I know," she interrupted him with a wave. "He was sleeping, he had a nightmare."

"Gotcha." AJ sighed, and turned to Kevin, a sad expression on his face. "So, Kev, we still haven't finished talking about what we're gonna do…"

"Do with what?" Brian asked, looking at AJ curiously. "Tour's still on, we decided that."

"Not the tour," AJ said sadly. "About Nick."

Howie's eyes widened, and he stared at AJ. "What do you mean, about Nick? He's going to be fine!"

"Not that," AJ shook his head rapidly. "About what happened. The chatroom, I was in there, the girls saw. They're still questioning if they really saw Nick, but one girl took captures, and was sending them around…the whole story will be out in no time."

"I think we should speak with Palmer, have her work up a statement for the press, leave it at that," Kevin said slowly. "None of us need to talk about it, and certainly not Nick."

"We're finally going to admit that some psycho is after us? That's something, at least,"

AJ grumbled. "About time we stopped pretending everything was dandy."

"Something like that," Kevin said, sitting down with a heavy sigh. "I wish we could keep what happened to Nick out of it completely, but…you said those girls are pretty sure?"

AJ nodded, "they were looking at his tattoos."

"Webcam images aren't that clear," Tara frowned. "How in the world could they have a good enough picture to make out his tattoos? We couldn't, on the image we were seeing."

"What?" AJ stared at her in confusion.

"If those pictures that these girls have are clear enough that they can see Nick's tattoos, they were taken with another camera," Tara explained. "Webcams just don't take good enough pictures for that."

"What was the nickname of the girl who had the captures?" Kevin asked, his eyes growing wide.

AJ gasped, and shook his head slowly, "I don't know, I wasn't paying attention to their nicknames, I couldn't believe she had pictures!"

"Think, AJ, that could have been one of them!" Howie told him, sitting down next to him and patting his head. "Use those dead brain cells."

"Oh, bite me," AJ shrugged off Howie's hand, before sighing. "I don't know. All those nicknames look the same to me…it's bonebaby this, and kaos that, broks lover, I don't know. Gibberish."

"Dammit," Kevin muttered.

"Hey," Agent Palmer stuck her head in the door, gesturing to them all to remain seated.

"I'm taking Nick to the hospital. We'll be back in a few hours, I just didn't want you all to worry."

"To the hospital?" Brian stood up, his face conveying his alarm. "Why? What happened?

Is Nick ok?"

"He'll be fine," Palmer looked behind her into the hallway, before stepping into the room, and closing the door behind her. "He's just, um," she looked at everyone's worried faces, and sighed. "he's still in a great deal of pain, and, well, a little hysterical at the moment."

"Hysterical? What the fuck did you do to him?" Kevin stormed towards the door, but she raised a hand, warning him off.

"I'm going to get Nick some proper medical treatment, like he should have had last night," she glared at Tara angrily. "He'll be better off in the long run for it."

"I'm coming with you," Brian stood up and walked to her, staring at her expectantly when she didn't move. "I'm not taking no for an answer."

"I really think it's best if none of you come," Palmer said slowly. "He is all too aware of what you saw last night, and rather humiliated by it. I didn't see him, which makes me the best person for him to speak with right now."

Kevin's face was flushed red with anger, as he glared at her. "I'm sure you will understand, Agent Palmer," he spat out the name. "That under the circumstances, we do not want Nick going ANYWHERE without someone we trust going with him."

"I will be with him," Palmer said with a shrug.

Kevin just stared at her, his green eyes cold. "Yes. As I said. Someone we trust will go with him."

Palmer took a step back, finally realizing what Kevin was saying. "I am a member of the FBI, how dare you suggest…"

"Look, I know you mean well, but you haven't been so much help to Nicky so far, ok?

Brian's going with you, and that's all there is to it," Kevin said firmly, giving Brian a push towards the door. "We'll see you when you get back."

"Fine," Palmer held the door open for Brian. "We will see you later, then."

"Bitch," AJ hissed as the door closed. "Where the hell does she get off? She gets Nick all hysterical, and then tells us that SHE'S the best person for him to be with right now? My ass…."

"Bone, calm down," Kevin sighed, rolling his eyes at AJ's dramatics.

"No I won't fucking calm down!" AJ stood up and began pacing the room, shaking his head angrily. "How do we know she's not part of this? Or that she's taking advantage of this situation to put the moves on Nick? This is just wrong, Kevin, and I don't like it one bit."

"She's an FBI agent," Howie said softly.

"So? They get horny too," AJ shot back.

Tara shuddered, and stared at the floor in front of her, not able to listen to AJ's rants about Palmer hooking up with Nick. Nick had said that he loved HER, and she, god…she loved Nick….she figured she must, why else would she be such a mess right now, all because of how much he was hurting? She wanted to turn back time, and make it all better. Back before this crazy thing ever started, before she ever saw that person in chat for the first time. So WHAT if she met Nick because of it, this wasn't worth it! Not when he hurt like this….

"Tara?" Kevin sat down next to her, looking at her closely. "You ok? You kinda zoned out on us there."

Tara looked up at him, startled, and smiled weakly. "Just thinking."

"Thinking what?"

"Nothing important."

"I think we should eat," Howie offered, grabbing a room service menu and throwing it at AJ. "We got a while until Nicky gets back."

Kevin groaned, "Howie, only you could think about food right now."

"Hey, a man's gotta eat, right?" Howie shrugged, and waved to the menu. "Come on, we got a long night ahead of us. Look. Eat."

"Fine, we'll eat."

***

Chapter 18

The group ate dinner in near silence, all with thoughts of Nick weighing heavily on their minds. Afterwards, Kevin turned on the television, while AJ and Tara huddled over her laptop, watching the girls in the Backstreet Boys chatroom panic over the sight of their idol being tortured so badly.

Finally, a much anticipated knock was heard on the door, and Kevin ran to open it, his face falling when he only saw Agent Palmer and Brian on the other side. "How's Nick?"

He asked Brian, refusing to look at the FBI Agent.

Brian looked exhausted, and he walked slowly into the room, sitting down on a couch before answering. "He's been better."

"What did the doctors say?" Howie asked.

Brian sighed. "The regular doc said Nick will heal in time, that yeah, he was beaten, and," he stopped to take a shaky breath, and ran a hand over his face. "Sorry, I just, can't…"

Kevin sat down next to his cousin, putting an arm around him and hugging him tight.

"Tell us, we need to hear it."

"The doctor said he'd been, god, I can't say it," Brian's voice cracked, as he blinked rapidly, fighting tears. "I can't believe those bastards, they, god, they hurt him so bad."

"I think we can guess what the doctor said happened to Nick, B," AJ said softly, a sad expression on his face.

"He was torn open, and needed stitches," Palmer said bluntly, not noticing Brian's wince at her words. "Which was why he should have been brought to the hospital last night."

"Jesus christ," Howie glared at her angrily. "Have you no shame?"

Tara gasped, and covered her mouth with her hand, staring at Brian.

"What else did the doctor say?" AJ asked, grabbing Tara's other hand and squeezing it for support.

"God," Brian wiped off a tear rolling down his face, and nodded. "So yeah, the doctor said…that. Then Nick saw a psychiatrist, he wasn't quite as optimistic."

"What do you mean, not quite as optimistic?" Kevin asked, worry dripping from his voice.

"He said that Nick's been traumatized by what happened, and that it's just being made all that much worse by the fact that we've all seen it. It'll be even worse when he finds out that fans are spreading captures around. The doctor also specifically mentioned you," Brian looked at Tara sadly. "What you had to do for Nick…the doc said Nick really cares about you, but…."

"He hates me for what I did. I know," Tara said softly.

"No," Brian shook his head. "He's in love with you, Tara, that's what he told the doctor.

But he feels like you're disgusted by him now, and he's disgusted with what you had to do."

"I'm not disgusted by him, god, how could he think that?" Tara stared at Brian as tears filled her eyes. "It's not his fault I had to do that…."

"I know, and you know that. The doctor said it will take some time for Nick to know that."

"So what do I do?"

"Just give him time. We all," Brian looked around the room, meeting everyone's gaze.

"We all have to give him time to deal with this."

"We will," Kevin said firmly.

"He's in bed now," Brian said, forcing a smile on to his face. "At least that hasn't changed, we brought Nick into his room, laid him down, and he was out like a light."

"Good, he probably needs his sleep," AJ said with a smile.

"So do we all," Howie yawned.

"In a moment," Agent Palmer said, holding up her hand. "First, I do need you all to do some serious thinking tonight, minus you, of course," she looked at Tara.

Tara rolled her eyes, "of course."

"I know I've had you go through this once before, but you must think harder this time, and I will need COMPLETE lists from you in the morning."

"Of?" Kevin prompted.

"Anyone, and everyone, you have had relationships with. Especially those that ended poorly."

AJ groaned. "We did this already…"

"Yes, but, there was something missing off of all of your lists," Palmer said softly, looking at everyone closely.

"Which was?" Howie asked, frowning at her.

"Anyone male."

Howie snorted, "none of us are gay, that's why."

"Well," Palmer sat down, and sighed. "It seems these perps might be."

"Why do you say that?"

"The roadie who we found Nick's room in, he had met someone in the hotel bar and spent the night in that person's room."

"Yeah, he told us," AJ shrugged. "So?"

"So the roadie was picked up by a man." Agent Palmer smiled wryly. "Now, in our experience, men are not willing to have sex with another man just to create a diversion, unless they are gay to begin with. Men have, how do I put this, issues, with sleeping with other men."

"We're not gay!" Howie said again, glaring at Palmer.

"I am not saying that you are. I just need you to remember if you ever have been with a man, and if that affair ended amicably or not," she sighed, and ran a hand through her hair. "I know this is a delicate subject, but any clue at this point would be very much appreciated."

"Kev?" Brian said softly, touching his cousin's knee gently.

Kevin's face had gone white as a sheet, and he was breathing heavily, staring at the floor in front of him.

"Kevin," AJ's eyes widened when he saw Kevin's state, and he gasped in surprise. "No fucking way, you and some guy?"

"It was YEARS ago," Kevin whispered, his brow furrowing. "I never, ever thought," he shook his head quickly. "No way, this is nuts."

"You and a man?" Brian asked in disbelief.

"Before Backstreet came along," Kevin said, staring at Palmer. "That's too long ago, right? I mean, I was working at Disney, he just spending the summer in Florida, couldn't have been him?"

"What happened?" She asked evenly, pulling a pad out of her pocket. "And what's his name?"

Kevin sighed heavily. "Gayle. His name was Gayle."

"Last name?"

Kevin shook his head slowly, "this was years ago, I have no idea."

"Kevin!" Howie was stunned. "You dated a guy?"

"For one month," Kevin said softly. "I don't know, something about him….he was so smart, funny, sexy, it was just fun. But it wasn't going to last, I'm not gay! It was just fun, for a little while."

"How did it end?" Palmer asked.

Kevin made a face. "Badly. He had all these fantasies about us spending the rest of our lives together, I was going to be a star, he was going to start some software company…take on Bill Gates, he always said," he laughed lightly. "When I broke it off, he was furious with me. Called my house every single day for weeks on end, would show up at work…"

"Why did he stop?"

"As far as I know, he didn't, well, I mean," Kevin sighed. "I left Florida, I had to go home…my father… when I got back, Gayle was gone."

"Ok," Palmer nodded, and stood up. "I'll take full details from you in the morning. This is something, at least, thank you Kevin."

Kevin sighed, and looked around the room, "guys, I'm so sorry, if he's the one doing this…"

"We don't know that, Kev, forget it," AJ shrugged. "Not your fault."

Howie snickered, "his name really was Gayle?"

"True, what mother names their son Gayle anyway?" AJ agreed. "Blame the mom."

"Thanks guys," Kevin smiled weakly.

"Anytime, Kev, anytime."

***

Tara tossed and turned in the bed, unable to sleep with the thoughts spinning through her head.

This guy Kevin had been with, had Kevin treated him so badly that he'd decided to destroy them now? Or had this guy just been so unstable that he'd been pushed over the edge? Who was he, how had that happened…and if it happened to Kevin, god, it could happen to anyone. How was someone supposed to know if the person they were with was that one nutcase who wouldn't be able to handle a breakup?

Tara gave a start when she saw the door to her room slowly creep open, and she sat up in bed, squinting to see in the darkness. "Hello?" She asked hesitantly, trying to ignore the pounding of her heart. Nobody was after her, nobody was coming for her…

"It's just me," a hesitant voice said, followed by a sniffle.

She recognized the figure shuffling into her room, and gasped in surprise. "Nick?"

"Hi," he sat down on the side of the bed, still sniffling. "I, um, Tara…"

"Come here," Tara laid back down as she pulled the blankets up, and gestured for him to slide under.

"Thank you," he said softly, slipping under the covers and lying down next to her.

Tara lay there for a moment, unsure of what to do. She desperately wanted to touch him, to wrap her arms around him, but he had stitches and probably was in pain, not to mention, who knew if he wanted her to…

"Hold me?" The question was followed by a soft cry, and a pair of hands sliding over her waist to pull her close. "Please?"

"Of course, Nick," Tara wrapped her arms around his back, her eyes widening when she felt him shudder. "You didn't have to ask, you know," she said softly.

"You don't think I'm, I mean, I don't," Nick sniffled, and buried his head in her neck, not wanting to actually speak the awful words. "You had to, I had…"

"I love you, Nick," Tara interrupted him, gasping when his arms tightened around her in response. "I did before, and I do now."

"Oh," he whispered. "I thought, maybe, not anymore."

"You're my pretty boy, Nicky," Tara said, running a hand over his back. "My smartass pretty boy."

"You bet," Nick replied with a soft chuckle, followed by a groan. "Ow. Laughing hurts."

"Go to sleep, you must be exhausted," Tara advised, kissing his forehead gently. "Ok?"

"I couldn't sleep alone, every time I closed my eyes, I just got so scared," he shuddered, before closing his eyes, and snuggling up into her. "Thank you."

"Pleasure's all mine, Nicky," she replied, smiling when she felt him relax against her.

"Sleep."

And together, Nick and Tara both slept.

***

"Rise and shine," Brian called in an overly cheerful voice, walking into Nick's suite to wake him up. "I know you probably want to sleep all day, but we have to get some stuff done before the show…" he gasped when he walked into Nick's bedroom, his eyes widening at the sight of the empty bed. "Nicky?"

"He up?" Kevin walked in, frowning when he saw Brian's expression. "What?"

"Check the bathroom," Brian said quickly, trying not to panic until he knew something was truly wrong.

"Bathroom?" AJ poked his head in, looking at them curiously. "Nicky doing ok?"

"I don't know," Kevin pushed the door to the bathroom open, his heart sinking when he saw it was empty. "He's not here?"

"What do you mean, he's not here?" AJ stared at Kevin, before shaking his head quickly.

"Oh no, man, he's somewhere, Nick wouldn't just take off…"

"Or be taken," Brian said ominously.

"Shut up, he's here," AJ snapped, walking to the other bedroom door.

"That's Tara's room," Kevin said, double checking Nick's bedroom. "He wouldn't be in there."

"Wanna bet?" AJ opened the door, grinning from ear to ear when he saw Nick and Tara sleeping soundly. "Told you," he said proudly, puffing out his chest and waving.

"Oh," Kevin looked in, unable to resist a small smile at the sight of them. "Do you think she can breathe?"

Nick was pretty much lying on top of Tara, his head still buried in her neck, her arms wrapped tight around his back. He stirred at the sound, and opened his eyes, turning around to glare at them. "She can breathe."

Brian joined them at the doorway, before apologizing. "Oh, sorry…"

"Forget it," Nick sighed, and turned back to Tara, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. "I wish I could stay asleep," he said wistfully, brushing her hair out of her face.

Tara's eyes slowly fluttered open, and she looked at Nick, before squirming around to stare at the group in the doorway. "Do they always wake you up like this?" She asked in amazement.

"Only when I have a girl in my bed," Nick muttered angrily, rolling off of Tara. He grunted in pain, before biting his lip hard. "Guys, give me a few to get up, ok?" He asked through clenched teeth, still looking at Tara.

"Sure, we'll be in my room," Kevin gave AJ and Brian a shove, and closed the door behind him.

"Are you ok?" Tara asked softly, looking at Nick closely.

Nick shook his head slowly, before taking a deep breath and standing up. "Fuck," he cursed, breathing heavily. "I have to be ok, that's kind of all there is to it."

"Why?" Tara jumped out of bed, grabbing his hands when it looked like he was going to fall over.

"Because I have a concert to do tonight," Nick pushed her away and slowly walked towards the door. "I have to be ok," he repeated, hanging onto the doorknob for a moment before opening it.

"Nick…"

"I have to," he said one last time, before turning around and forcing a smile on to his face. "I'm going to take a shower, I'll meet you in Kevin's room, ok?"

Tara looked at him sadly, "you think you can? I mean, I don't want you to hurt yourself…"

Nick frowned, and shrugged. "I hurt. What more can I do."

"Nick…"

"I'll see you in a few," he said softly, walking out of the room.

Tara dug through her bag and pulled out a t-shirt and jeans, quickly slipping them on.

She walked into the main room of the suite, gasping when she heard a loud cry of pain from the bathroom. "Nick?"

"I said I'd meet you in Kevin's room!" He shouted back.

Tara stared at the closed door for a moment, sighing when she heard the shower start to run. She wanted to help him, didn't he get that? "I'll see you there, then." She headed into the hallway and knocked on the door to Kevin's room, smiling lightly when he opened it a moment later. "Hey."

"Come on in," Kevin waved her in, and Brian made room for her on the couch next to him. "Where's Nick?"

"In the shower," she explained, sighing heavily. "He wanted to be alone…"

"I'm actually kind of glad Nick's not with you, I wanted to talk to you about that," Kevin said softly, sitting down across from her. "Is there any way you could take some time off of work?"

Tara's eyes widened, and she shook her head slowly. "I wish, but, not at such short notice like this…maybe I can take next week off? But not now."

"What if you explained what happened, that a friend of yours was raped and needs you?"

AJ asked solemnly. "He does, you know."

"I know," she said sadly. "But I can't, I have to go back to work tomorrow. I can't even call in sick, I did that already this month, it just doesn't look good."

"Damn," Kevin frowned, and ran a hand through his hair. "All right, we'll make do.

You'll fly out on Friday night again though, right?"

"You bet, wherever you guys are, I'll be there," Tara said firmly. "Wild horses couldn't keep me away."

"It's only five days, Kev, Nick will be fine," Howie said, as much to convince himself as Kevin. "Not that long. Anyone can survive five days."

"Right," Kevin sighed. "Only five days."

***

Chapter 19

Tara let herself into her apartment, dragging her bag behind her. She didn't want to be here. Every bone in her body was screaming at her that she should still be in Dallas, with Nick, and yet, here she was, back home.

Leaving Nick had been a form of torture in and of itself. They had spent the morning talking to Agent Palmer, as well as Backstreet's management, trying to put together a statement that would be released explaining the threats the group had been receiving, and somehow dealing with the pictures of Nick that were now flying around the Internet.

Nick had a very difficult time with the entire conversation, the idea that people around the world were seeing those pictures was totally heartbreaking, and almost too humiliating for him to bear.

Then Tara had to leave. It seemed almost as if Nick had forgotten she wasn't staying, he'd seemed stunned when Billy came to get her, and looked as if he was going to burst into tears when she was saying goodbye. And the hug he'd given her…Tara bit her lip, her eyes filling with tears at the memory. He'd grabbed her in a bone crushing bear hug, and absolutely refused to let her go, it was only when Billy told them (for the third time) that she was going to miss her flight that he finally released her.

So now she was home. "Home sweet home," she said sarcastically, walking through her apartment and throwing her bag down on her bed. She'd unpack later. Right now…she saw her answering machine blinking, and pressed the play button, hoping Nick had called. She'd asked him to call and let her know how the night's concert had gone…

But the deep voice that rang out from her answering machine was definitely not Nick's.

Tara's eyes widened, and she turned to stare at the machine, listening to the words the voice sang.

Listen, I mean it, there's nothing that he's worthy of.

He's just another player, playing in the name of love.

I've seen enough, now this must come to an end.

Get another boyfriend.

"Let's talk about what he's done!"

Tara jumped a foot in the air at the sound of someone standing behind her singing, and whirled around, glaring at Andy angrily. "Jesus, Andy!"

"To become your number one, was it all the promises of diamond, pearls, and party dresses that turned you on," Andy continued, grinning at Tara's reaction. "I've seen it before…"

"Shut up," Tara covered his mouth with her hand, rolling her eyes. "Let me save this, ok?"

"God, someone's in a mood," he sighed, and sat down on the couch, watching as she pressed save on the answering machine before joining him. "Not a good weekend in Backstreet land?"

"Not at all," Tara said softly, shaking her head. "What song was that?"

"Was what?"

"The one you were just singing, on my machine?" Tara asked in exasperation. "What other song could I possibly have been referring to?"

"Get Another Boyfriend," Andy told her, his eyes narrowing when her face paled.

"What?"

"I don't know," she whispered, staring at him as her heart pounded in her chest. "I don't know what it means, oh god, how did he find out who I am? How did he get my phone number?"

"Who's he, Tar, back up," Andy's expression grew serious when he saw her panic, and he looked at her closely. "Tara? What happened this weekend?"

"This weekend," Tara shook her head slowly. "God, it's only been a weekend."

"Yes, darlin, you left Friday night," he reminded her with a small smile.

"It feels like it was so much longer…."

"And WHY exactly is that?" Andy asked.

"Just, so much happened," Tara sat back and ran a hand through her hair, her head spinning. "Friday night was amazing, but then it all just…changed."

Andy sighed, and looked at Tara, shaking his head. "Babe, I STILL don't understand what the hell you're talking about."

"Fine, Andy, you want to know? I'll tell you," Tara snapped, annoyed with Andy's cute comments. "I slept with Nick on Friday night. It was wonderful, and I realized that I'm in love with him."

Andy's mouth fell open, and he stared at Tara, stunned beyond words.

"But then, right after, literally, Andy, RIGHT after, someone took Nick. Someone did something awful to him…." Tara began to cry, burying her face in her hands. "And now Nick is in pain, and upset, and I can't be there with him."

"Oh, baby," Andy recovered from his shock enough to pull Tara into a hug, rubbing her back consolingly.

"AND this guy has my phone number, and he's calling me, oh god, Andy, what have I gotten myself into?" She cried, burying her head in his chest. "I don't know what to do anymore…"

"Ok, sweetie, take a big deep breath," Andy spoke to her as if she were a child, running a hand through her hair. "You're gonna start at the beginning, and give me all the gory details, and then Uncle Andy will make it all right."

"Uncle Andy?" Tara couldn't help but laugh through her tears. "Since when?"

"I figured that while Queen Andy may be more appropriate, it doesn't inspire much confidence," he grinned, and wiped a tear from her cheek. "Now, you gonna tell me?"

Tara nodded, and sniffled. "Thanks, Andy."

"Hey, that's what I'm here for."

"Ok," Tara took a deep breath, and sighed. "So, Friday night…"

***

"Good show tonight, Nick," Kevin said as headed to their hotel rooms after the night's concert.

"Yeah, right," Nick muttered, walking awkwardly down the hallway. He gritted his teeth together, ignoring the pain he felt in his body with every step, concentrating on getting back to his hotel room. There, he could collapse, take his pain pills, and try not to think until tomorrow…

"You did good, Nick, especially, well," Brian smiled at Nick lightly. "All things considered."

Nick rolled his eyes, and glared at Brian. "Can't you say it?"

Brian stopped walking, and looked at Nick in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"All things considered," Nick mocked him, frowning when Howie and Kevin stopped to stare. "What? Why don't you say what actually happened?"

"Nick, we don't want to hurt…" Howie started, but Nick silenced him with a glare.

"Hurt? Who? Me? Could I hurt any MORE, Howie? You don't want to hurt me?" He snorted, and shook his head. "If you didn't want to hurt me, you would have kept the whole world from seeing it, you would have stopped this show from happening tonight, and you would have made sure that the ONE PERSON I actually want to see right now would be here," he stopped to take a breath, looking at the sad faces around him angrily.

"You would have done a lot of things you didn't do."

"Nicky, we're trying," AJ said softly.

"How the hell are you trying when you can't even say what happened?" Nick turned back to Brian, his jaw set in a hard line. "Say it Brian, what happened to me?"

"Nick, I, god," Brian's eyes filled with tears, and he shook his head slowly. "It was awful, Nick, you didn't have to see….." he gasped and covered his mouth, looking at Nick in horror. "I mean, I'm sure it was worse going through it, but…"

"Shut up," Nick interrupted him. "I was RAPED, Brian, say it. Someone took a fucking dildo and stuck it up my ass. Say what really happened, I can't take this bullshit trying to avoid saying it."

Brian winced at Nick's harsh words, as tears began to trickle down his face. "Nicky…"

"I don't want your pity, any of you," he looked around at the group, shaking his head at their stunned expressions. "You saw it, but I lived it. I'm the one with the stitches to prove it. Cancel this goddamn tour, or leave me alone." And with that, he hobbled down the hallway and into his room, slamming the door behind him.

"Oh god," Brian covered his face with his hands, slumping over his knees. "He's right, Kevin, we need to cancel, we can't do this to him."

Kevin's face was stricken, as he looked at his cousin, "The FBI says we shouldn't…."

"FUCK the FBI!" AJ shouted, kicking the wall in his frustration. "They don't have to look at their brother falling apart like this. Do we really have to wait and see what's going to happen to Brian before we stop this?"

Brian slid down to the floor, a soft sob leaving his throat. "Poor Nicky…"

"Maybe when Tara comes back, he'll be better?" Kevin said hopefully.

"What, for another weekend?" Howie asked, shaking his head. "That's not good enough Kevin, and you know it."

"Get a psychiatrist to tour with us, help Nick…"

"Cancel the tour," AJ said again. "Right now. We're going to admit tomorrow that something's been going on, we can easily change that to say that we're calling off the tour because of it."

"Then we look like we're running scared," Kevin said sadly.

"WE ARE RUNNING SCARED!" Brian shouted, jumping up and glaring at his cousin.

"Did you look at Nick? Did you hear what he said? Jesus christ, Kevin, what more do you fucking want to happen!"

Kevin stared at his cousin, shocked by what he'd said. "Brian…"

"Don't," Brian stepped back, shaking his head. "Nothing you say can make this right."

"Dammit, Kevin, we should have canceled the tour weeks ago, then none of this would have happened," AJ glared at Kevin. "But no, you wanted to keep it going, dammit."

"ME!" Kevin stared at AJ. "I wanted to cancel! It's Howie who insisted we keep touring, Howie and Nick. Blame him," he gestured to Howie angrily. "Not me!"

"If we'd canceled, Nick would be fine right now," Brian said sadly.

"Sure, pass the blame. Don't you go getting all patronizing on us now, Kevin, it so won't work, and I'm not in the mood for one your lectures," AJ's eyes narrowed. "I swear to fucking god, if you try, I'm gonna smack you one."

"It WAS Howie!" Kevin insisted, getting angry when AJ just continued to berate him.

"Fuck this shit, you're a stubborn prick."

"Asshole," AJ shot back.

"Hit him, maybe it'll knock some sense into him," Brian suggested to AJ, shocking himself with the depth of his anger towards his cousin.

"Maybe I should."

"Do you think this is what he wants?" Howie interrupted, unphased by their angry accusations.

The three men stared at him, confusion written across their faces. "What?" AJ asked the question on all of their minds.

"This guy. He said we're on top, he wants to bring us down, right? Destroy everything we love." Howie ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head slowly. "What do we all love?

What have we ALWAYS had?"

AJ gasped, and nodded, "each other."

"And what's being destroyed right before our eyes?" Howie looked at all of them sadly.

"We are nothing without each other, and look what we're doing."

Kevin fell back to lean against the wall, his eyes raised upwards. "I don't know what to do…"

"Maybe this is one decision you don't have to make," AJ said softly, touching Kevin's arm. "We've made it. Tour's off."

"How is canceling the tour going to help anything, though?" Howie offered. "I know I'm flipping sides like a yo-yo here, but, think about it. If he wants to destroy what means the most to us, what is that? Our love for each other, and our love for performing, for our music."

"So now you're saying we should keep touring?" Kevin asked Howie, sounding as if he was in a daze. "God, I can't deal with this."

"If it keeps us together?"

Brian looked at Howie sadly, and wiped the tears from his eyes. "But what about Nick?"

"We all love Nick, we need to remind him of that," Howie said firmly. "We need to stop pretending a 'thing' happened to him, and admit it for what it was. Including you."

"I can't say it," Brian shook his head quickly. "I won't, I can't…"

"He was raped," AJ said, sighing when Brian let out a sob. "Nick has to deal with it, Brian, and so do you."

"He's right, Brian," Kevin agreed, his stomach churning as he spoke the words himself.

"Nick was raped. And we all have to learn to accept that."

"It's not accepting it I can't do, I know it happened, christ, I SAW it happen!" Brian shouted angrily. "I just don't want to say it!"

"You don't want to say it OR think about it, Brian, and that's why Nick got so angry," AJ

said harshly. "Nick can't pretend it didn't happen, he's never going to be able to forget it.

You need to be able to do the same."

"Say it," Howie said.

Brian started to cry again, shaking his head. "No, god, no, don't make me…"

"Say it."

"I love Nick, I don't want this to happen to him…"

"It HAPPENED, Brian, deal with it!" Kevin grabbed Brian's shoulders, and looked him right in the eyes. "Repeat after me. Nick was raped Friday night."

Brian took a shaky breath, and stared back at Kevin. "Nick was…was…." His lip trembled, as he struggled to say the words. "Raped," he finally choked out, falling into Kevin's arms as he began to cry.

"There you go," Kevin hugged his cousin tight, sighing heavily. "We should get out of the hallway, god forbid anyone come along and catch us like this."

"Or heard that entire conversation," AJ remarked wryly. "What a clip that'd be."

"Don't say that," Howie groaned. "Who's room we going to?"

Kevin slowly walked Brian down the hallway, shrugging. "Wherever."

"This is mine," Brian stopped, and opened the door to his room, waving them in.

"This works," AJ took a few steps into the room, before stopping dead in his tracks. "Um, guys? Maybe we should meet somewhere else?"

Howie walked in and looked at AJ curiously. "Why? This is as good as any…"

AJ sniffed the air, his face turning green. "We should get outta here."

"Why?" Kevin asked, noticing the panic crossing AJ's face. "What's wrong, Bone?"

AJ's voice was shaky as he asked, "anyone else smell smoke?"

***

Chapter 20

"I do," Howie walked past AJ into the room, his nose in the air, sniffing. "I don't see any, though," he turned around slowly, looking around the room.

Kevin walked through the suite, turning on lights as he went, sniffing, and looking closely for smoke. "In here!" He shouted, pointing into the bedroom.

"What?" Brian ran into the room after Kevin, his eyes widening when he saw the smoke billowing out from the nightstand. "What in the world…"

"Here," AJ had grabbed the fire extinguisher off of the back of the door, and pushed it into Kevin's arms. "You know how to work this thing?"

Howie carefully opened the drawer of the nightstand, revealing a smoldering book inside. "Fire's out, you don't need it."

"What is that?" Kevin asked, bending down and peering at the burnt paper.

Brian's face was white as he joined them in the bedroom. "What book is in the nightstand in every hotel in the world, Kevin?" He asked softly, running his hands over his arms, trying to stop his trembling.

"Compliments of Gideon's," AJ cracked, smiling weakly. "Well, it always is, didn't you ever notice?"

"This idiot can't burn a bible and think he's going to make me lose my faith," Brian said angrily, turning around and walking out of the room.

"Brian," Kevin chased after his cousin, finding him sitting down on the couch outside.

"He's just trying to scare you."

"It's working," Brian replied, biting his lip as he stared at the ground. "How the hell is he getting so close, Kevin? He was IN MY ROOM!"

"Nobody has keys to our rooms," AJ frowned as he walked out of the bedroom.

"Any protocol for getting rid of this?" Howie walked out holding the burnt bible, and looked at Brian. "B?"

Brian shook his head slowly, "just throw it out."

"Our bodyguards do," Kevin looked at AJ, a strange expression crossing his face. "So does tour management."

"Yeah, but they wouldn't do this," AJ sat down and shook his head. "I mean, I know Marcus is a weird man, but…"

"I'm not saying they're doing this, but what do they do with our keys?"

AJ shrugged. "Keep 'em in their wallets?"

"Each bodyguard gets a set," Howie's eyes widened. "So does Philly, as road manager.

You can't fit five room keys, plus your own, in your wallet."

"Pocket?" AJ offered.

Kevin made a face, "forget it, I was just thinking out loud."

"No, you've got a point, Kev, what do they do with our keys? We know they don't use them," Brian said softly, looking at his cousin. "Especially Philly, he's never needed them, he probably throws them on the dresser in his room and forgets about them."

"Or it IS a bodyguard, or Philly," Howie said ominously.

"They wouldn't," Kevin said firmly. "Philly's been with us a year, the rest for longer, I won't believe that."

"I don't know, Kev, I'm not real prone to trusting anyone anymore, short of the people in this room right now."

"And Nick," Brian added quickly. "Don't forget Nick."

"Tara too," Kevin offered. "I think she's proven she's for real."

Howie shrugged. "I guess."

"You guess?"

Howie sighed, "I don't know, she's just been watching all of this, you know? I don't think I'm really going to believe she is for real until something happens to her too. Isn't that awful to say?"

"Under the circumstances?" Kevin shook his head. "It's sad, but, understandable."

"I think we're all best off hoping we find out who's doing this soon, and nothing more happens to anyone," AJ said firmly. "Not to Brian or Tara. Just stop this now."

"I hope so, Bone, I hope so."

***

"Seen this?"

Tara jumped back from her desk, startled by the newspaper thrown on top of her keyboard. "What?" She pulled off her headphones to look at Tommy, frowning.

"Paper," he gestured to the newspaper, and sat down on her desk. "Did you see?"

Tara picked up the paper, her eyes widening when she saw the article it was open to.

'Prices to Fame: Backstreet Boys Terror on Tour' read the headline. "What the…." She quickly scanned the article, biting her lip at the description of the 'vicious assault on Nick Carter that took place early Saturday morning.' "So?" She forced calm into her voice, and handed the paper back to Tommy.

"So, did you see what it said about this guy trolling chatrooms and scaring their fans?

Sound familiar?"

Tara shrugged, "I guess."

Tommy rolled his eyes, and threw the paper back at her. "Isn't this the guy who's IP you made me check?"

"I wouldn't know offhand, he was making threats towards them, sure."

"And exactly why did you ask me to check that IP?"

Tara looked at Tommy dimly. "So I could ban his ass, because I'm getting really sick of killing his account."

Tommy frowned, "so you don't know anything about this stuff?"

"Nope," she turned back to her computer, and began clicking through abuse reports. "I only know what these folks send in."

"They still complaining about the Backstreet hater guy?"

Tara nodded slowly, of course they were, she'd spent half the morning reading about nothing but him. "When aren't they."

"Says here the Backstreet Boys are working with the FBI."

"So?"

"So…have you heard anything about it?"

Tara raised an eyebrow. "And why would I?"

Tommy shrugged, "seeing as you're the one who keeps killing this guy's account?"

"I don't know anything about it." Tara typed away on her computer, trying to get Tommy to leave.

Tommy swung his legs back and forth like a little kid, refusing to give up. "Article says someone tipped the Backstreet Boys off about this guy."

"Uh huh."

"Wonder who?"

"Wouldn't know, Tommy," Tara said in a tired tone. "Are you done?"

"Just pretty funny, isn't it? You were all worked up about this guy, and just as things seem to get bad, I mean, did you read? It says he attacked one of them Friday night….you don't care anymore."

"I don't."

Tommy stood up, and sighed. "I got your message from Friday night, you know."

Tara's face paled, and she looked up at Tommy, her eyes wide. "What?"

"The 'goddammit, why are you asleep, I need an IP from you now' message," he said slyly, smirking at her reaction. "Let's see, a boy gets hurt, Tara desperately needs an IP…any relation?"

"It was something else entirely," she said quickly, frowning. "There are lots of freaks out there, you know."

"Yeah, I guess," Tommy sauntered back to his cubicle, waving his hands at Tara. "I guess."

"Yeah, I guess," she muttered, putting her headphones back on and returning to her work. She plowed through the abuse queue, biting her lip as she read report after report of 'nasty pictures of Nick' being spread around chat, sending the standard 'we have received your report, thank you' e-mail to each girl as she went. "OW!" A stuffed animal bounced off of her head, and she scrambled to grab it, throwing it back at Tommy.

"Got a joke for you," he stuck his head over the top of her cubicle, grinning down at her.

"Yes?" She asked, rolling her eyes.

"So, two engineers are riding bikes down the side of the road. One engineer says to the other, 'hey, that's a nice bike you got there. How'd you get it?' The second engineer says,

'well, I was walking down the street the other day, and this woman rode by on her bike.

She stopped, took off all her clothes, and said I could have anything I wanted. I told her I'd take the bike.' The first engineer laughs, and says 'yeah, you're right, you never would have fit in her clothes.'" Tommy snickered. "You like?"

"Only you'd be proud of that joke, Tommy," Tara sighed, and shook her head. "Can I work now?"

"I'm compiling…" he whined, throwing another stuffed animal at her. "Play with me."

"No."

"Please?"

Tara threw the teddy bear back, laughing when she heard it land with a resounding whack. "No!"

"Gameboy?"

"No."

"Fine. See if I ever run an IP for you again."

"Like you helped oh so much the first time," Tara grumbled, and put her headphones back on, effectively ending the conversation there.

***

The next morning, the Backstreet Boys gathered in Kevin's room for breakfast before heading out for the masses of interviews they had scheduled. Par for the course, for their life on tour. All eyes were fixed on Nick, who was slumped in his chair, sullen and pale, although they were all also pretending not to watch him. Which wasn't working.

Kevin finally gave up pretending, and put down his fork, looking at Nick closely. "Did you sleep last night?"

Nick shook his head no, and continued to push his food around on his plate.

"The night before?"

Another shake of his head.

Kevin sighed, and ran his hand through his hair, not knowing exactly what to say, but knowing he had to say something… "Nick, you have got to sleep."

Nick just shrugged.

"Did you talk to Tara?"

Yet another shake of his head no.

"Why not?"

Another shrug.

"Nick, care to actually talk?" AJ finally asked, frustrated with Nick's silence.

Nick raised a pair of bloodshot eyes to stare at AJ. "No," he said, before returning his gaze to his plate.

"What about eating something?" Brian asked softly, concerned for his best friend's condition. "You haven't eaten in days."

"Not hungry," he mumbled, dropping his fork on the table.

"Why didn't you call Tara?" Kevin asked, frowning. "You know she's probably worried sick about you."

Nick looked at Kevin for a moment, before rolling his eyes and standing up. "If she was really that worried, she'd be here," he said harshly, before stomping out of the room.

"Kevin, what are we gonna do?" Brian asked in a pained voice, wincing when the door slammed behind Nick. "He's falling apart in front of our eyes."

"Tara will be here Friday night," Kevin sighed. "All we can do is keep trying to get him to talk to us until then."

"It's only Tuesday," Howie reminded him. "How's he gonna make it until Friday?"

Kevin bit his lip, and sighed. "I'll call Tara tonight, see if she can get here any sooner, ok?"

"Good," Brian nodded. "Tell her what kind of shape Nick's in, hopefully she'll come."

There was a knock on the door before it was opened, and Agent Palmer stepped inside.

Her face was drawn, and she looked at them all sadly, before taking the seat vacated by Nick. "I need to let you all know what's going on."

"Ok…" Kevin said with apprehension, not liking the tone in her voice one bit.

"I don't know quite how to put this," she said carefully, looking around the table and meeting all of their eyes. "Last night, at some point, a certain object was put up for auction on a website. A very popular auction website."

"What object?" Howie asked slowly, pretty sure he didn't want the answer to that question.

"When we found Nick, we were only able to recover one of the, um," she made a face,

"dildo's used on him. The one that had been in his mouth was never found."

"It's being sold?" Brian whispered, his blue eyes wide with disgust. "How? God, no.."

"It's not anymore," she said quickly, shaking her head. "But it WAS up for sale, for probably a good 12 hours before anyone was notified. It was posted along with some pictures, and a description of how the object was used. The description claimed that the dildo was not the one from his mouth, but rather…" her words trailed off, and she saw by the expression on the guys' faces that she didn't need to finish that sentence.

"Jesus christ," AJ hissed, staring at her. "So now you're going to tell me you caught the person who put this up on the auction, right?"

"I'm afraid not," she said sadly. "We are in the process of recovering the logs from the site from when the auction was posted, but the initial information they gave us about him was incorrect, false name, false address."

"How do you know it's false? Did you check? Bust his door down?" Howie asked, raising an eyebrow when she didn't immediately reply. "Well?"

Palmer shook her head, "the name we were given was Brian Littrell, and the address was your home address," she looked at Brian sadly. "Your home phone number was on the account as well."

Brian just stared back at her, his face white.

"We need to tell Nick, don't we," Kevin said, biting his lip hard. "Jesus, like he hasn't been through enough…"

Palmer nodded slowly. "The press is aware of the auction, and it is likely you will be asked about it. I suggest you prepare an answer to the question."

"What question is that?"

"Is it real," she said softly. "Was Nick raped."

"What do you suggest we answer?" Kevin snapped angrily, unable to believe he was having this conversation.

She sighed, "I suggest you leave that up to Nick. He's the one who will have to deal with the majority of questions."

"Nick isn't really capable of talking right now," AJ said, shaking his head quickly. "What are they gonna do? Ask, and he'll shrug? He can't deal with this now."

"That's why I came here to tell you, so you can prepare him." Palmer stood up, and sighed. "I'll see you all later."

"How do we prepare him for this?" Kevin asked sadly, looking around the table and seeing three just as confused faces staring back at him. "After everything that's happened…."

"Just one more thing," Howie said, shaking his head slowly. "Nick said he couldn't hurt anymore, be humiliated anymore. It looks like he's about to find out if that's true or not."

"God, poor Nick," Brian whispered, unable to say anything more.

"Yeah," AJ agreed. "Poor Nicky."

***

Chapter 21

Tara drove into the parking lot, parked her car, and jumped out, grabbing her purse as she hurriedly walked towards her office. She was running late, which was no surprise, although today was later than usual. She'd been up all night staring at the phone, praying Nick would call. She'd tried to call him a few times, but had only gotten his voice mail, and had been wide awake until nearly 5am wondering what in the world was going on.

Tara pulled out her id badge and waved it in front of the electronic lock, yanking on the door a moment later. She groaned when it didn't open and waved her badge again, her eyes widening when the light on the lock flashed red, instead of turning green. "What the…" she tried one more time, kicking the door in frustration when it refused to unlock.

"Goddamn badge stopped working, fuck" she cursed.

"HEY!" Tara banged on the door and waved, getting the attention of the security guard sitting at the desk inside. She held up her badge and made a face, pointing to the lock.

"Thank you," she smiled when the guard unlocked the door, and headed in. "My badge stopped working," she explained as she walked past him towards the elevators.

"No problem, make sure you get a replacement," he called after her.

Tara was still grumbling about the stupidity of electronic locks when she sat down at her desk, and discovered her badge wasn't the only thing not working. "Ok, this isn't funny,"

she whispered, typing her password into the computer again. But it wasn't letting her log on to the system…

"Tara?" Leo, her boss, stuck his head into her cubicle, a solemn expression on his face.

"Mind coming with me for a moment?"

"Sure," Tara stood up and followed him into the conference room, telling him how her password and badge didn't work.

"That was what I wanted to talk to you about," he closed the door and waved her to a seat, sitting down across from her.

Tara's heart sunk into her stomach, as she stared at Leo. "Ok…"

Leo crossed his legs and clasped his hands, looking at her sadly. "Tara, as I'm sure you're well aware, we work with a great deal of confidential information here, and there are certain standards that must be upheld."

"Uh huh," she nodded slowly.

"It has come to our attention that you have been passing along company confidential information to a third party, and, well, I'm sorry Tara, but this cannot be tolerated," Leo sighed. "The reason your badge and your password didn't work…"

"You're firing me?" Tara interrupted, her eyes wide with shock.

"Yes. I'm sorry. But you knew full well when you started here that you could not talk to anyone about your work here."

"Someone would have DIED if I hadn't talked about what I'd seen here, Leo, doesn't that matter?" Tara said angrily. "Not to mention, I didn't tell them about it until I'd tried to get someone here to listen to me about how serious the situation was."

"There are protocols that must be followed in these matters, Tara, you broke them."

"I saved someone's life!"

"I am sorry." Leo sighed, and checked his watch. "Security will be by your desk in five minutes to show you out, I suggest you head back to your cubicle and pack up while you have the time. I'm sorry if this seems harsh, but you know…"

"Yeah. Protocol for firing employees," Tara said dryly. She stood up and walked to the door before stopping, turning around to look at Leo. "Who told you?"

"What?"

"Who told you I'd been talking to the Backstreet Boys?"

Leo smiled lightly at her, and shook his head, "Tara, it doesn't matter, we're working with the FBI now, and they will solve this on their own. Your involvement isn't needed anymore."

Tara's eyes narrowed, "the FBI, huh?"

"Yes, we've been working with an Agent there."

"The bitch is DEAD," Tara hissed, throwing open the door and walking quickly to her desk. She grabbed a box and began throwing the contents of her desk in to it, rolling her eyes when Tommy came over to investigate. "Please, don't start with me," she sighed, wincing when she heard a mug break as it clattered to the bottom of the box.

"What's going on, Tara?" Tommy asked, his eyes wide with confusion.

"That fucking FBI agent sold me out," she snapped, yanking a drawer out of her desk and dumping it into the box. "No, don't worry, nobody will ever know. Well, fuck me, bitch, first she moves in on Nick, now this, jesus. I'm going to kill her," she muttered, slamming the empty drawer down angrily.

"You know you're probably packing a ton of my stuff there," Tommy said weakly, backing away from her. "But I'll get it from you later, ok?"

"Yes, you will," Tara glared at the security guard walking into her cubicle. "I'm almost done," she told him quickly.

"Tara, I'm so sorry," Tommy hesitantly stepped towards her, and when she didn't seem like she was going to bite his head off, pulled her in for a hug. "I know you were just trying to do the right thing."

"Thanks," she said softly, before pulling away and biting her lip. No, she wasn't going to start crying, she wasn't going to get upset, not yet…

"Let's go," the security guard waved Tara out, tapping his foot impatiently when she continued throwing things into her box. "Come on…"

"FINE!" She shouted, throwing some last things onto the box and stomping out. "I'm gone."

"I am sorry, Tara," Leo was standing in the hallway as she walked by, an apologetic expression on his face.

"You know what, Leo?" Tara stopped to look at him, shaking her head. "If this company really cares so little about what happens to the people who use its site, than I'm really better off not working here. And you know, I'm sorry too. I'm sorry for all the crimes we could have prevented, all the pain we caused by keeping our mouths shut, but you just don't care, do you. And for that…FUCK you. I hope you're happy here."

Leo just stared at her, not expecting the angry diatribe.

Tara smirked, and nodded, sure of her words. "Yeah. Fuck you." She continued walking down the hallway before adding, "and fuck the goddamn FBI, and fuck the Backstreet Boys! May you ALL rot in hell."

***

"Honey, you'll get another job," Andy reassured Tara, holding her tight as she cried.

"I don't want another job, I want that one!" She shoved him away and wiped off her cheeks, sniffling. She had called Andy the moment she'd gotten home, and he'd immediately left work to join her, bottles of wine in hand. They'd spent the day talking, crying, and drinking. Well, Tara had done most of the crying, switching between that, and angry rants about the stupidity of the FBI and her former co-workers. "I've been crying all day, haven't I," she remarked, laughing through her tears when Andy nodded solemnly. "Sorry."

"No problem, you needed a good cry," he handed her a tissue and smiled. "Feeling better yet?"

"No," she pouted, and blew her nose loudly. "I still hate that fucking bitch. I can't believe she turned me in."

"Bitch," Andy agreed. He gave a start when the phone rang, looking at Tara curiously when she made no move to answer it. "You're not going to get?"

Tara shook her head no. "There is nobody I want to talk to right now."

"What if it's Nicky boy?" Andy asked, picking up the phone and holding it to her. "Come on, you'll ignore puppy?"

Tara chose to pick up her wine glass instead, and took a deep sip. "He's ignored me for the last two days, why would he suddenly decide to call now? Not to mention, it's the damn Backstreet Boys that got me into this mess in the first place."

Andy rolled his eyes at Tara, before answering the phone himself. "Hello? Puppy?" His eyes widened when he heard the voice on the other end, and he jumped off of the couch, walking back and forth across the living room eagerly. "Kevin! Oh, she's not doing so well…" he shot a look at Tara before running out of the room, talking in a conspiratorial tone.

"ANDY!" Tara got up to chase after him, but was struck by a wave of drunken dizziness, and fell back on the couch, holding her head. "Goddammit, get off the phone," she called weakly.

"No!" Andy continued running around the small apartment until he realized Tara wasn't after him, finally taking a seat in the kitchen as he continued to talk to Kevin. "Ok, so it's set, then?" He walked back into the living room and grinned at Tara, giving her a thumbs up. "Thanks, sexy," he giggled, and hung up the phone.

"Thanks, sexy?" Tara asked dryly.

"He is, isn't he?"

Tara shrugged, "I suppose. So are you going to tell me what you and your new best friend were talking about?"

Andy grinned, and flopped down onto the couch next to Tara, slinging an arm over her shoulders. "You, my dear, are going on a trip tomorrow."

Tara stared at him for a moment, before shaking her head, "oh no, Andy, you didn't…"

"Yes, I did. You're going to join them on tour. Nick needs you, and hon," Andy looked her up and down with a critical eye. "You need him."

"I do not," she argued, shaking her head. "He's doing just fine without me, clearly, or else he would have called."

"He's falling apart without you, darlin, and that's why he hasn't called," Andy told her firmly. "You're going. I'll see you next week when the tour hits LA. I still got my backstage passes, you know," he reminded her with a grin. "Gonna give me the grand tour?"

Tara laughed lightly. "You know, I've never seen a concert?"

"You've been spending all this time with them, and you've never seen them on stage?"

Andy gasped comically, his hand going to cover his mouth. "Good god, woman, you're going to die!"

"You know, Andy, I don't much like that phrase anymore…" she said solemnly, her expression growing serious. "Hits a bit too close to home these days."

"Pass out, then. They are pure sex on stage," he told her, wiggling his rear. "All of them.

Even puppy."

"Puppy?"

"Nicky!"

Tara shook her head slowly, "where the HELL did puppy come from, Andy?"

Andy giggled, and stood up, pulling her up with him. "You pack, and I'll fill you in, ok?"

She sighed, and allowed herself to be pushed into her bedroom. "All right. Tell me about puppy."

***

Tara walked into the airport, looking around the crowded gate for the familiar bulk of one of the boys' bodyguards. Her brow furrowed when she didn't see anyone, and slung her bags over her shoulder as she continued to look. Maybe Andy had misunderstood Kevin, maybe this was all just a big mistake? She'd woken up this morning with one hell of a hangover, and one horrible feeling in her stomach, coming from the realization of what had happened the day before. She'd been fired. She was unemployed.

"Are you Tara, ma'am?" A soft voice asked her, pushing a sign with her name on it under her nose. She turned to see a man dressed in a chauffeur's outfit, hat, and sunglasses smiling at her.

"Yeah," she replied, slightly startled, and looked over the man offering to take her bag.

Under the circumstances, she wasn't exactly about to walk off with anyone she didn't know. "Who sent you?" She asked harshly, holding her bag far away from his reach.

"Tara," he said in exasperation, reaching for the bag again. "You know me."

"I do not," she shot back, narrowing her eyes as she looked him over. Full beard, heavyset, not a chance in hell she knew this man.

He pushed the sunglasses down his nose, revealing a pair of bright green eyes. "I'm sorry you lost your job," he said apologetically. "I would give you a hug, but right now I just want to get out of here, you don't know how much I had to beg Marcus to let me do this."

Tara started to laugh, and handed Kevin her bag, smiling. "Damn that's a good disguise, you gave me a scare," she told him, following him through the airport.

"Under the circumstances, I suppose putting on a disguise like this wasn't the smartest thing in the world to do," Kevin admitted sheepishly, smiling at her from underneath the fake beard. "I wasn't thinking about how you would react when someone you didn't know showed up to get you."

"I guess I'm a little suspicious these days," Tara agreed. "I do need to fill you in on some stuff," she added. Like the fact that the guy now knew who she was, and had called her.

Like the fact that the BITCH Palmer had turned her in.

"We need to do the same for you," Kevin nodded, and waved her out to a waiting van.

"But first I think we need to get you back to the hotel, and in to see Nicky, as soon as possible."

"How is he?" Tara asked, sliding into the back of the van. She found Marcus sitting in the front seat with the driver, and waved a hello before turning her attention back to Kevin.

Kevin got in next to her and made a face. "Really bad off, Tara, he hasn't been eating, or sleeping, he isn't talking to anyone….and he nearly passed out on stage last night. Well, I strongly suspect he DID pass out, although he denies it completely."

Tara gasped, and stared at Kevin. "Oh god.."

"Yeah," he nodded sadly. "One minute Nick was standing, the next he was flat on his back. His eyes were open by the time we all got to him, and he claims he just tripped but," Kevin sighed. "I saw him. He didn't trip over anything. He just went down."

"You think that's because he's not eating?"

"Not eating, not sleeping, I know he's gotta still be in pain, although he's denying that too, it could be anything," Kevin said sadly. "I'm hoping once he sees you he'll perk up a little. At least maybe he'll talk to you, or be able to get some sleep with you around."

"I'll do what I can, Kevin, but my head's kind of messed up at the moment too," Tara said softly. "Nowhere near as bad as Nick's, of course, but…."

"I am so sorry, Tara," Kevin gave her that hug he'd promised before, pulling her into his arms and squeezing her tight. "I know we're responsible for it, in one way or another, and I swear to you, we'll make it up to you."

Tara fought an urge to start to cry, and pulled away, smiling into Kevin's green eyes.

"You're not, really. I mean, yeah, it's because I told you, but…I blame Palmer, not you.

She's the one who told them."

"I'm sorry about that too."

"Me too," Tara sighed. "Now, there's something else I need to tell you."

Kevin bit his lip, and looked at her carefully. "Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like this?"

"Well, you know that song you sing called Get Another Boyfriend?"

Kevin nodded slowly. "Yeah…"

"Someone sang it to me on my answering machine the other night. At home."

Kevin's eyes widened, and he stared at her for a moment before bowing his head. "Oh god. He's getting to you too?"

"So it seems," Tara said grimly. "I guess I've moved up in the world, if he sees me as a target."

"Lucky you."

"Oh yeah, lucky me."

***

Chapter 22

"That's his room," Kevin gestured towards a door with a bodyguard sitting outside that Tara didn't recognize.

"New security?" She asked softly.

"Rent a cops," he whispered in her ear with a soft chuckle. "They get the job done, though."

"Oh."

"Go ahead," he gave her a gentle push, and rapped on the door before walking down the hall to his own room. "We're off tonight, so I guess I'll see you tomorrow, give you two some time alone."

"Thanks," Tara stood in front of the door for a minute, frowning when it didn't open.

She knocked again, and bit her lip, smiling awkwardly at the bodyguard. "He's in there, right?"

The bodyguard nodded, and leaned over, banging on the door hard. "Maybe he didn't hear you."

"I think the entire hotel heard that," she muttered, waiting for Nick to open the door.

"WHAT?" The door flew open, and Nick stuck his head out, an angry expression on his face. He gasped when he saw Tara, and took a step back in surprise. "Tara?"

"Me," she said weakly, smiling at him. "I guess they didn't tell you I was coming?"

"No," Nick replied brusquely. "Well, I guess, come in," he waved her into the room, closing the door behind her. "What did they tell you to get you here?"

"Kevin said you weren't in the best shape in the world," Tara said softly, dumping her bag on the floor. "Looks like that's true."

Nick rolled his eyes, as he gingerly sat down on the couch. "What do they expect?"

"They're just concerned," Tara sat down next to him, forcing a smile on to her face. "So, miss me?"

Nick looked at her dully, and shrugged. "I guess."

Tara ran a hand through her hair, narrowing her eyes at him. "Not such a smartass today, are you?"

"No."

"Ok…" she sighed, and looked around the room, trying to think of something to say, something to get him to do. "So…."

"So…" he repeated, raising an eyebrow at her. "What are you doing here anyway? Don't you have your job?"

Tara's face fell, and she shook her head slowly. "No, actually, I don't."

"What do you mean, no you don't?" Nick asked, frowning. "You have to work, don't you?"

"No, I mean, I don't have a job," Tara said evenly. "I was fired yesterday."

Nick's mouth dropped open, "why?"

"I broke my contract, gave out confidential information."

"You lost your job because you helped us?" Nick asked softly, his expression changing to one of concern.

"Yeah," Tara blinked back tears, and shrugged. "It's not important now, Nick, it's over."

"I'm sorry," he said apologetically.

"That's ok, Nick, I know I did the right thing talking to you guys about it."

"Yeah, but," he stared at her for a moment, before his face crumpled. "I'm still so sorry…"

"That's ok…" Tara let out a soft grunt when Nick pulled her in for a tight bear hug, his arms wrapping around her waist. "I'll be ok, Nick," she said reassuringly, her eyes widening when he refused to let her go. "Nick?"

Nick just tightened his arms around her and buried his head in her neck.

"Oh," she whispered, sensing the hug was no longer about comforting her. Her hands ran over his back, gently caressing him, as she felt him slowly begin to relax against her.

"Are YOU ok, Nick?" She asked softly.

"No," he mumbled, continuing to hold her tight. "Not at all."

"How can I make it better?" Tara asked, feeling as if just hugging him was doing nowhere near enough to alleviate the pain he was clearly in.

"Hold me," he maneuvered around on the couch until he was lying down, and arranged Tara on top of him, her weight on him was exactly the kind of comfort he needed.

"Comfy," Tara remarked, resting her head on his chest. "As always," she looked up at his face, sighing when she saw the tortured expression. "Nicky…"

"Don't let go, ok?" He asked in a soft, pitiful voice, fighting back tears.

"I never would," she reassured him, running a finger down the side of his face. "Nick, didn't anyone ever tell you, if you need to cry, you're better off getting it out, than holding it in? Otherwise you just get angry, and…" she didn't need to finish the next sentence, Nick had started sobbing as soon as she'd mentioned the word 'cry.' "There you go," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his chest and hugging him tight.

"Just let it all out…"

Nick's arms locked around her waist as he continued to sob, his breath coming in gasps.

"I…I…sorry…"

"You have nothing to be sorry about," Tara told him firmly. She lay there, holding him tight, for what felt like hours, as his sobs turned to soft cries, then sniffles, and then silence. "Nicky?" She looked up at him, smiling wryly when she saw his eyes closed, and mouth hanging open. "Finally, the boy sleeps," she whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Sleep well, Nick."

And for the first time in days, Nick did sleep well.

***

Nick awoke around dinner time, and found himself ravenously hungry. He and Tara ordered in room service, and he proceeded to consume everything on his plate, as well as the majority of what was on hers. Afterwards, they snuggled up together on the couch and talked for hours, about what he was going through, about Tara losing her job, about games, books, sports…anything and everything was covered.

By midnight, they both were exhausted again, and retired to the bedroom. There, they snuggled up under the covers, held each other close, and kept each other's nightmares at bay.

Nick felt like a new man when he woke up the next morning. He was still sore, he'd been warned the stitches were going to hurt until they came out in four weeks, but he felt like he finally had a grip on the emotions that had been threatening to take him over. Yes, he'd been raped, but he also had survived it. The shame and humiliation that accompanied it was something he still needed to work on, but the mere fact that Tara was able to look him in the eyes as he talked about what he'd been going through had done him a world of good.

After all, no reporter had been able to do the same. Especially not once he'd answered yes to 'the question.' He hadn't seen the press fallout as of yet, he'd been ignoring newspapers and the television ever since the attack, but was positive they were all having a field day with it. Nick Carter had been raped. What a headline…

"I don't want to leave this room," he remarked, finishing off his breakfast with a happy sigh. He pushed himself back from the table and rubbed his tummy, smiling at Tara.

"Can't we just stay here? Keep the rest of the world far away?"

"I wish we could, Nick," Tara said wistfully.

"Come here," Nick pulled on her arm, leading her around the table and down into his lap.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her, feeling almost happy for what felt like the first time in ages. "Thank you so much for coming," he said softly, kissing her forehead. "I felt like," he paused as he searched for the right words, staring into her eyes. "I was drowning. You saved me."

Tara smiled widely, and ran a hand through his hair, kissing his cheek. "I needed to be here too, Nick, I'm glad I came."

"Well, you haven't done that yet," Nick said seductively, grinning when she blushed.

"Hmmm?" He rubbed his nose against hers, giggling.

"Nicky smartass is back," she laughed.

"Somewhat," he said softly. He rested his head against hers and closed his eyes, just enjoying holding her, listening to her breathe. "This is nice."

"Very…" Tara gave a start at the loud knock on the door, and groaned. "Was nice," she slid off of his lap with a sigh of regret.

"Coming, coming," Nick grumbled, walking slowly to the door.

"Not yet," Tara called after him, laughing when he stared back at her, wide-eyed.

"Gotcha."

"Dang, woman," he shook his head, and pulled open the door, hoping his face wasn't as bright red as it certainly felt. "Hey."

"Hey!" Brian's face broke into a wide grin at the sight of Nick's happy face, and he walked into the room, waving at Tara. "Hey you."

"Hey Brian," Tara laughed when Kevin, Howie, and AJ shuffled into the room behind him. "Hey all of you."

Nick closed the door behind him and returned to his seat, gesturing for Tara to return to his lap as well. Only once she was seated did he look at them curiously. "So why's the whole gang here?"

"We just wanted to see how you were doing," Kevin said lightly, taking a seat across from them.

"I'm doing fine," Nick replied, looking at Kevin evenly. "Now why are you really here?"

"Palmer, she's coming by in a second to meet."

Tara's entire body went rigid at the mention of the Agent's name, and Nick's arms tightened around her in response. "Bitch."

AJ's eyes widened, and he looked at Tara with a grin. "Not your favorite person?"

"Not quite," Tara frowned. She jumped up when she heard a knock on the door, waving off Kevin, who was already out of his seat. "No, allow me," she smirked, walking to the door and throwing it open.

Agent Palmer's eyes widened when she saw Tara on the other side of the door. "Tara!

This is a surprise…"

Tara stood in the doorway with her arms crossed, glaring angrily at the agent. "You know, I never have had such a desire to punch someone in my life."

"Pardon?" Palmer said curiously, looking past her into the room. "May I come in?"

"Nobody would ever know, you told me. I wouldn't ever get in any trouble for helping you." Tara was unable contain herself, and shoved the agent hard, sending her flying into the opposite wall. "You bitch, you fucking lied!" She charged into the hallway, her eyes blazing. "I lost my goddamn job because you couldn't keep your mouth shut."

"What the HELL are you talking about?" Palmer ducked as Tara took a swing at her, confusion written all over her face. "Jesus, Tara, calm down!"

"You got me fired!" Tara shouted.

Nick ran into the hallway and grabbed Tara as she tried again to punch her. "Woah, down girl," he wrapped his arms around her tight, refusing to let go.

"Dammit, Nick," Tara squirmed in his arms, kicking when he lifted her off the ground.

"Let me at her!"

"I did no such thing," Palmer said firmly, standing in front of Tara and looking her in the eye. "I don't know who in the world told you I talked to your employers, but I promise you, it wasn't me."

"Your promises don't mean very much to me right now," Tara hissed, still struggling in Nick's arms.

"It is standard FBI policy, we never reveal sources," Palmer stood her ground. "Someone else turned you in, Tara, not me."

Tara stopped trying to get away from Nick, and he set her back down on the ground. She stared at Palmer in confusion, shaking her head slowly. "No, it had to have been you, nobody else knew."

"Nobody else?"

Tara's face froze, and she frowned, "no, no WAY, there were only two other people who knew. Well, no. One. Andy knew. Tommy just suspected I was doing something, he didn't know."

Palmer sighed, and pulled her notepad out of her pocket. "Give me full names."

"Why?"

"Because it looks like we now have two more suspects."

***

Chapter 23

Tara sat in the dressing room backstage at the arena, watching the guys get dressed for the night's concert. This must be what they had been like, before terror had entered their lives, she mused, watching Nick sneak up behind AJ and yank his shirt over his head, blinding him. She laughed when AJ staggered around the room, unable to see, crashing into Brian and taking him to the floor.

"Picture time!" A bright voice shouted, a moment before a flash went off.

Brian helped AJ up off the floor before turning to the source of the voice, "thanks, Jessica, I'm sure the world will love seeing AJ on top of me like that."

"Well, some people will," she grinned, and turned the camera on Nick. "Smile, Nicky."

Nick sat down next to Tara and slung an arm around her, "smile with me."

Jessica nearly dropped the camera when she saw who Nick was posing with, but she took the picture just the same, before asking, "Tara?"

"Hey Jess," Tara said softly.

"What the hell, I mean, what are you doing here?" She asked, the camera in her hands forgotten as she stared at Tara.

"I'm, um, I'm…" Tara stammered, looking at Nick wide-eyed. What WAS she supposed to tell people? They hadn't told her…

"Tara's touring with me for a while," Nick said quickly, giving Tara a comforting squeeze.

"Given everything that's happened, I really wanted a friend around."

"A friend," Jessica said in disbelief.

"My girlfriend," Nick corrected, with a grin.

Jessica's mouth couldn't open any wider, as she continued to stare at them. "Ok…"

"Time to head out," Kevin called, waving at the group. "Showtime."

"You want me to show you where we go to watch?" Jessica asked sweetly, smiling at Tara.

"Sure," Tara replied. She let Nick pull her up, and gave him a tight hug. "I can't wait to see the show."

"You'll love it," Nick told her confidently, kissing her forehead. "I'll see you out there."

"You bet." One more quick kiss on her head and Tara was off, Jessica leading her through the maze of hallways backstage.

"So, how long have you been dating Nick?" Jessica asked curiously.

Tara shrugged, "not long." She was still kind of stunned that he'd called her his girlfriend. Yeah, she loved him, and she was pretty sure that feeling was mutual, but….he hadn't done anything more than kiss her cheek since, well, since that one night.

Not that she expected him to feel particularly sexual, but, even when he'd made that joke about 'coming,' all he'd done after was rub noses with her. Not even a kiss on the lips.

And yet, she was his girlfriend?

"Does Andy know?"

"Of course," Tara said quickly, stunned by the question. "He's my best friend."

"Oh," Jessica's nose went into the air as they continued to walk. "He hasn't mentioned it to me."

"Well, under the circumstances…."

"I can't be trusted?" Jessica said angrily, frowning from ear to ear. "I work for them, Tara, you didn't really think I wouldn't find out?"

"I didn't tell him specifically not to tell you, Jess, but UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES

he agreed not to tell anyone!" Tara said, looking at Jess in confusion. "Why are you so angry about this?"

She rolled her eyes. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

Jessica sighed, and stopped in front of a door. "Our seats are through here."

"Try me," Tara repeated.

"Just, Tara," Jessica ran a hand through her hair, frowning. "You don't know what it's like, ok? I've been working for these guys for nearly four years now, and it's still made clear to me at every turn that I'm not part of the inner circle. They keep so much from me…." She took a deep breath. "It gets to me at times."

"I'm sorry," Tara offered weakly.

"Right," Jessica rolled her eyes. "My boyfriend lies to me because of them, Andy lied to me, and you could be flat out lying to me right now too. I can't trust anyone."

"Your boyfriend?"

"He works for them too, ok?" Jessica's eyes narrowed, and she frowned. "Do you think they have any idea how many lies are told to protect their precious little lives?"

"What?" Tara's face paled, and she stared at Jessica. "What are you talking about? Do YOU understand what's been happening to them?"

"I'm not talking about that. What I'm talking about has been going on for years, long before they started getting threats. All the lies told because of them."

"I still think you're overreacting, Jess, it's not like they intentionally…"

"Oh, forget it," Jessica brushed off Tara with a wave of her hand. "So are you REALLY

dating Nick?"

Tara looked at Jessica for a moment before biting her lip. "I guess."

Jessica snorted, "oh that sounded so convincing, Tara."

"I care about him, what more do you want me to say?"

"We should head out to our seats," Jessica opened the door, and waved her out. "Let me give you one piece of advice, ok? If you're going to hang around these guys? Get a lot better at lying, and learn not to care so much."

***

Tara had been as stunned as Andy had promised by the sight of Nick on stage, unable to believe the silly, joking pretty boy she'd fallen in love with was able to transform into liquid sex so easily. That was all she could think of to call it, his hips thrusting, the looks he gave the audience, good god, it was truly the sexiest thing she'd ever seen in her life.

ALL the Backstreet Boys transformed like that, but she only had eyes for Nick, and had spent the entire concert with her mouth hanging open, watching him in awe.

After the show, they returned to their hotel room, and she watched sadly as Nick shuffled into the room, gingerly sitting down on the couch. "Are you in pain?" She asked softly, sitting down next to him.

"I'll be ok," Nick replied just as softly, shifting around until he found a comfortable position to sit in. "I just get a little sore from moving around like that. All the thrusting and stuff, I forget to be careful."

"All that thrusting is amazing," Tara breathed, before blushing furiously. "I mean, just…"

"You liked that, did you?" Nick asked, grinning at her flustered reaction. "So you did."

He ran a hand through her hair, and kissed her forehead with a giggle. "I'm glad you did."

"Me too," she murmured, staring into his eyes. What the hell was going on between them? He talked like they were a couple and yet… She bit her lip when he kissed her again on the forehead, before getting up. "Where are you going?"

"I need a shower," Nick replied, pulling his shirt away from his body. "I'm all sweaty."

"Maybe I like sweaty," Tara said coyly.

"Well, then, you'll just have to get me sweaty again," Nick shot back, grinning from ear to ear. "I'll be back in a few, get comfortable, ok?"

"Ok." Tara watched him delicately walk into the bathroom and close the door behind him. A moment later the shower started. She got up and went to the phone, figuring she might as well call home and check her answering machine. "Not that anyone's going to call except Andy," she said to herself.

She laughed when sure enough, there was a message from Andy, wanting to know all about the night's show. Tara gasped when he also apologized for letting it slip to Jessica that she was there, he'd figured she'd have run into her by now, and had assumed she'd known. "WHEN did she talk to you?" Tara whispered, checking the time. They'd just gotten back from the concert, Jessica had to have already known Tara was there when she saw her backstage.

"I guess you've learned how to lie, huh, Jess," Tara rolled her eyes, and vowed to call Andy the next day, as well as confront Jessica over her lie. "She didn't have to lie to ME, dammit." She hit the appropriate numbers on the phone to delete the message, and play the next, her heart sinking when a deep voice began to sing into her ear.

Hear me out, you must know

What he's all about

He's just a player in love.

This must come to an end

Tara nearly dropped the receiver when the deep voice began laughing, and told her that it was ALL going to end, very soon.

"What's wrong?"

Tara jumped into the air, startled by Nick's voice, and gasped. "God, Nick, you scared me."

"Sorry," he walked over and took the phone from her, holding it to his ear. "Dial tones scare you?"

She shook her head slowly, feeling her heart pounding in her chest. "I was listening to my answering machine. He called again."

"Again?" Nick asked, his eyes growing wide when she didn't reply. "Tara? You never told me he called you at all."

"I didn't want you to worry," she replied, brushing off his arms and walking over to her bag. "Are you tired? I'm tired. We should go to sleep."

"Not until you tell me what he said to you," Nick said, his brow furrowing when she ignored him and began digging through her bag for her nightshirt. "Tara!"

"It's not important."

"Of course it's important!"

Tara found her shirt and yanked it out, shaking her head. "I'm gonna go put this on…"

Nick grabbed the shirt away from her, "no you're not!"

"Nick, you know what this guy does, do you really need to know this?"

"Yes, I do," he replied evenly, holding the shirt over his head. "Now tell me, or you're sleeping naked."

Tara smiled lightly, "wouldn't you like that?"

Nick shrugged, and grinned. "Maybe, but I'd rather you did it by choice. Now tell me."

"He did what he always does, he sang a song to me," Tara sighed, and held her hand out for her nightshirt. "Now can I have my clothes?"

"What song?"

"Shirt."

"What song?" Nick repeated, staring down at her. "Or I'm keeping the shirt."

"Get Another Boyfriend," Tara said softly, bowing her head.

"Oh," Nick's face fell, and he handed her the shirt, sighing heavily. "Maybe you should sleep in that after all."

"Nick…"

"Forget it," he waved off her concern, and shook his head. "I'm gonna go get into bed, I'm suddenly feeling really tired too. There's another bedroom, I guess you should probably sleep in there."

Tara's eyes widened, and she stared at him in surprise. "What?"

"I need to figure out how to sleep alone, right?" He asked, before walking away, not waiting for a reply. "Well, no time like the present."

"But…Nick?" Tara could only watch as he disappeared into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. She looked at the nightshirt in her hands, wondering what the hell had just happened. "Sure I'm your girlfriend," she muttered, shaking her head. Fine. Nick could figure out how to sleep alone.

She quickly changed in the bathroom, and returned to the main room of the suite, calling goodnight to Nick through his door. She didn't expect a reply, and didn't receive one either, rolling her eyes at the closed door. What in the world was going through his mind…

Tara walked into the other bedroom and curled up under the covers. She closed her eyes, and hoped sleep would come quickly.

***

Tara was unable to sleep, and after a few hours of tossing and turning, grew sick of staring at the ceiling. She got out of the bed and padded out into the main room of the suite, her eyes narrowing when she saw the sliding door to the balcony was open.

"Nick?" She asked softly, finding him sitting in a chair outside, staring up at the stars.

"I couldn't sleep," Nick explained, patting the chair and gesturing for her to join him.

"Neither could I," she sat down between his legs, smiling when he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back to rest against his chest. "So, why couldn't you sleep?"

"Was thinking," he said softly, running his hands through her hair.

"About?"

"Reasons why you'd need another boyfriend."

Tara's eyes widened, and she squirmed around to look at him. "Nick?"

Nick sighed, and bit his lip, looking at her sadly. "What would you think if I told you I had a relationship with a man? It's long over, but once, I did."

Tara nearly burst out laughing, but contained herself, and just shrugged. Like she would care?? "I would think that's just another ex, I guess."

"Really?"

"Really."

Nick looked into her eyes for a moment, before taking a deep breath. "I think some girls would hate me for it."

"Why? So you're bisexual, Nick, it doesn't change who you are," Tara said evenly. She frowned when he continued to look at her with a sad expression, and bent her head closer to his. "That's not all, is it."

"The only other reason I could think of why you'd need another boyfriend…."

"Is?"

Nick shuddered, and his arms tightened around her. "If I was dead."

Tara gasped, and shook her head quickly. "Nick, jesus, don't think that way."

"You don't think that's what this creep is thinking?"

"Probably, but you don't have to agree with him."

"I guess," Nick continued to stare into her eyes, before sighing heavily. "I've never fallen this hard before, you know," he confessed softly.

"What?"

"For you," he explained, cupping her face in his hand. "I feel like, just as things got so good between us, things went so bad."

"I don't fall like this either, Nick," Tara whispered, nuzzling his palm. "And definitely not for pretty boys," she added with a giggle.

"Still?"

"What do you mean, still?"

Nick kissed her forehead, "I mean, given everything that's happened, have you still fallen for me."

"I told you, Nick, I love you, that doesn't go away."

"But, how can you," Nick bit his lip, before turning away, tears brimming his eyes. "How can you find me attractive after what you did?"

"You're talking about…"

"The dildo you pulled out of my ass, yeah," he said angrily, getting up off the chair and walking to the railing, staring out into the distance. "How can I not disgust you now?"

"Nick, that wasn't your fault," Tara got up and walked to him, sliding an arm around his waist. "You're still the same person you were."

"No, I'm not," he said sadly. "I wish I was…"

"To me you are."

Nick turned to look down at her, his brow furrowing. "So if I kissed you now, you wouldn't pull away?"

Tara's mouth dropped open in surprise. "Is that why you haven't kissed me?"

"I didn't know if you still, after everything…"

Tara silenced him by standing on tip toes and pulling his head down to hers, kissing him.

She heard a soft moan leave his throat as their lips touched, and opened her mouth, sliding her tongue into his mouth. She leaned into him as their tongues tangled in a deep, passionate kiss. "I meant it when I said always, Nick."

"Oh," he smiled down at her, his blue eyes twinkling.

"Nick, will you," Tara looked up at him, but the words caught in her throat. Was it too soon, after everything he'd been through?

"Will I what?" Nick asked, his hands running down her back to her rear, and pulling her close to him.

"Make love to me?"

Nick's grin spread from ear to ear, and he bent down and captured her lips in another earth shattering kiss before replying. "Yes."

Tara stared at him, breathless, "now?"

Nick's expression grew sad, and he shook his head slowly, "no."

"You're not ready, are you."

"I don't know if I can, Tara, I mean, I want to, but," he bit his lip, and sighed. "When I'm ready, will you be here?"

"I'm not going anywhere," Tara reassured him, leaning into his chest with a soft sigh.

"I'll be right here."

***

Chapter 24

The next day, the group gathered in Kevin's room to hear the latest from Agent Palmer.

Tara was snuggled up with Nick, determined to do anything she could to help him work through the emotional torment still wracking his mind.

"Tara, I ran the names you gave me," Palmer turned to Tara, tapping her pen on her notepad. "Andy checks out, but, your friend Tommy?"

"Yeah?" Tara sat up straight, her eyes narrowing. "What about him?"

"He doesn't exist."

Tara laughed, and shook her head, "oh yes he does, I've known him for two years now, and he's very much a real person."

"Maybe a real person, but that's not his real name," Palmer replied evenly. "Got any more information for me on him?"

"Like what?" Tara looked at Palmer in confusion. "You don't think Tommy…"

"I think anyone is a suspect, as I've said before. Especially someone who clearly changed their name."

"Well, I think Tommy's his middle name," Tara said slowly, running a hand through her hair. "I remember him saying once how much he hated his given name."

"That's a start, what else?" Palmer asked. "College?"

"Yale."

"Previous employer?"

Tara shook her head, "nope, he came to us right from Yale."

"Sexual orientation?"

Tara glared at Palmer, and frowned. "What, if he's gay, he's a suspect?"

"Given Kevin's history? Yes. I should have asked you the same about your friend Andrew."

Tara bit her lip and shook her head. "No way, I'm not letting you accuse someone just because they're gay. Are you checking out their ex GIRLFRIENDS like this too?"

"We KNOW one of the perps is gay, Tara, that's a solid fact. We do not know one is female. We think. We don't know."

"Dammit," she muttered. "This is wrong."

"Gay or straight, Tara?"

"Why are you asking?" Nick interrupted, looking at Palmer closely. "What do you mean, you know one of the perps is gay? And what's Kevin's history?"

"One of the perps had sex with a roadie from the tour the night you were taken," Palmer replied. "As for Kevin's history…"

"I had, I guess you'd call it a fling, with a guy one summer," Kevin explained, sighing heavily. "If it's him doing this now, god, I will never forgive myself."

"So? So did I," Nick said slowly, looking at Palmer. "Just because it's a man, that makes him a suspect?"

Palmer's eyes widened. "You did?"

"Three years ago, for about two months," Nick nodded. "He lived in Florida. It was just a summer thing."

"Woah, Nicky!" AJ stared at him in surprise. "You did a guy? And never told us?"

Nick sighed. "You really think I'd tell you?"

"But, dude, a guy?" AJ repeated in disbelief.

"Shut up, Bone," Howie rolled his eyes at AJ's reaction. "Calm down."

"What was his name?" Palmer asked, ignoring AJ and Howie.

Nick frowned, and shook his head, "I don't remember, it was a long time ago. Something weird, I remember teasing him about it."

"Gayle?"

Nick gasped, and stared at Palmer. "That was his name."

"Tall, blonde hair, brown eyes, kinda built," Kevin said slowly, looking at Nick. "Really smart, always cracking jokes, pretty hyper. A lot like you, now that I think about it…"

Nick nodded, a strange expression crossing his face. "That's him."

"What's that mean?" Kevin turned to Palmer. "If Nick and I dated the same guy?"

"How did you leave things with him, Nick?" She asked him.

Nick frowned, and shook his head slowly. "Badly. He was pretty angry at me."

"Why?"

"He thought I was living a lie, with Backstreet and all, and that I was breaking up with him to protect my image. I wasn't, I just wasn't into HIM anymore, but…that's what he thought," Nick looked at Tara sadly. "I don't hide what I really feel, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know," she smiled at him, and hugged him.

"I'll tell anyone who listens that I'm in love with Tara, because I AM," Nick looked at Palmer, his eyes bright. "I wasn't gonna tell anyone I was in love with Gayle, because I wasn't. If I had been, then, well, I dunno, I would have crossed that bridge when I got to it."

"You would have come out publicly?" Brian asked, his mouth dropping open in surprise.

"Maybe?" Nick frowned. "I don't know. It wasn't an issue."

Kevin sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. "So this Gayle, he's your suspect?"

Palmer nodded, "best one we've got so far, definitely. Do you remember a last name, Nick?"

Nick shook his head slowly, "no. I can look, I might have some old letters from him somewhere."

"Please do," Palmer turned to Tara, frowning slightly. "You didn't answer me."

"Answer what?" Tara asked, her eyes narrowing.

"Your friends Andy and Tommy. Are they gay?"

Tara sighed heavily, and ran a hand through her hair. "Goddammit…"

"Please answer the question, Tara."

"Andy is gay, YES," Tara said in exasperation. "But I swear to god he's not doing this,"

she groaned when she saw Palmer writing in her notepad. "Andy would never…"

"You have no way of knowing what someone is or isn't capable of doing," Palmer said slowly. "If I have learned anything in my time at the FBI, it is to never underestimate people."

"I'm not underestimating him!"

"Tommy?" She continued, holding her pen above her notepad expectantly.

Tara made a face. "Straight."

"Sure?"

"He had a girlfriend for a few months, I even met her once," Tara said, rolling her eyes.

"Enough?"

Palmer nodded as she stood up, returning her notepad to her pocket. "I'm going to go check out some things, I'll talk to you all later."

"Thanks," Kevin waved to her as she left, before turning back to the group. "So…."

"So," AJ interrupted, his eyes still fixed on Nick. "You did a GUY?"

"Will you stop it!" Nick glared at AJ. "So what?"

"So, little Nicky, I'm just amazed," AJ snickered, and shook his head. "We never knew."

"I told you, I didn't want you to know."

"I guess," AJ grinned. "So tell us. What's it feel like, getting Kevin's leftovers?"

"AJ!!" Nick and Kevin both shouted, and AJ ducked.

"Just kidding, just kidding," AJ laughed. "Had to be asked."

"No, it didn't," Kevin rolled his eyes. "Can we move on to another subject?"

"I don't know, I'm still pretty interested in this one…"

"Drop it, AJ," Nick warned, his eyes narrowing.

"If I drop it, will you pick it up…" AJ got a pillow in the face for his comment, and sighed.

"All right, all right."

"Can we talk about tonight's show?" Kevin looked at AJ for a pause, before taking a deep breath. "Thank you Bone. Now, on to real work…"

***

Tara didn't find a chance to call Andy until backstage at the concert that night, when Nick finally left her side to go get dressed. Borrowing Nick's cellphone, she sat down and dialed, praying Andy was home. "Hey!" She said happily when she heard his voice on the other end.

"HEY!" Andy shouted back. "How's life on the Backstreet tour?"

"It's life," she replied with a small laugh. "You were right about the boys on stage, though, it's a good thing you warned me."

"Is AJ not the sexiest bad ass in the world? Did you want to blow right there on the spot?

God, I love that man…"

"Nick, Andy, my eyes were on Nick.." She grinned as Nick walked back into the room, and watched him adjusting his clothes in the mirror.

"Aah, yeah, Puppy ain't bad either," Andy conceded with a giggle.

"Right. Puppy," Tara snickered. "Don't call him that to his face, ok?"

"Oh, trust me babe, I will."

"Andy…"

"I want to see his reaction to it!"

"You do, I'll tell AJ you sleep with his poster," Tara threatened.

"You would not."

"I wouldn't?"

Andy sighed heavily into the phone. "Fine, fine."

"So, question for you, Andy darlin."

"Yes, Tara my goddess?"

"When did you talk to Jessica yesterday?"

"Afternoon sometime? I don't quite remember when, but we were talking work stuff, that was when I let it slip that you were there. I am SO sorry about that, babe, did I mention that in my message?"

"Many, many times, and you are totally forgiven," Tara reassured him. "I saw Jess last night, it was just strange, she acted like she had no idea I was on tour."

"Jessica is a strange girl…"

"What do you mean?"

"Just, strange."

"Details, Andrew, details."

"I don't know," Andy said, the frustration apparent in his voice. "I just think, well, you promise you won't say anything to your loverboy there?"

"My loverboy?"

AJ was walking past Tara as she asked the question, and he looked at her with a laugh.

"L…l…l…l….loverboy!" He sang, turning to the mirror mounted on the wall and primping his hair.

"Puppy. Promise you won't tell Puppy."

"Won't tell Puppy what?"

AJ turned back around at that, mouthing "puppy?" at her in confusion.

Tara waved him off, shaking her head when he pouted in response.

"Won't tell Puppy what I'm about to tell you."

"I won't tell Puppy," Tara sighed, watching Nick walk out of the room behind Kevin, Howie and Brian.

"Who the HELL is Puppy?" AJ asked loudly.

"Was that my Bone?" Andy squealed into the phone.

"Jesus christ," Tara nearly dropped the phone, not expecting the loud shrieks that followed. "Yes, Andy, that's AJ."

"I am not a fuckin' dog," AJ said firmly, glaring at the phone in Tara's hand. "Who are you talking to?"

"Nobody," Tara told him, before saying into the phone, "now what were you going to tell me, Andy?"

"Lemme talk to Bone."

"Andy…"

"AJ!"

Tara rolled her eyes, and looked at AJ, "AJ, my darling friend Andrew refuses to talk to me unless you'll say hello to him. Would you please?"

"I would, babe, but we gotta be on stage in a second," AJ said sadly, waving at the phone.

"Hi, Andrew," he shouted, before leaving the room with a laugh.

"Oh, Andy, I gotta give Nick back his phone before he goes on stage," Tara said quickly, walking into the hallway and seeing the guys heading for the stage.

"Why, he brings it out with him?"

"No, Andy," she said in exasperation. "Just, I don't intend to hold it for the entire show, you know?"

"AJ said my name," Andy said sweetly.

"Yes, I heard."

"AJ said my name."

"You already said that."

"He said Andrew."

"Yes."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH," Andy screamed.

"Andy, I should go," Tara sighed, sensing that she was not going to get any additional information out of him tonight.

"Fine. Call me tomorrow?"

"Of course."

"Go make sweet love to Puppy for me, would you?"

"Shut up, Andrew."

"Love me!"

"Love Puppy."

A loud sniff. "I've been replaced."

"Yup."

Another sniff. "By a doggie."

"Yup."

"Fine. AJ said my name!!" He laughed. "Talk to you tomorrow, babe."

"Night, Andy."

***

Chapter 25

"Morning, baby."

Tara's eyes fluttered open slowly, and she smiled when she saw Nick watching her closely, his face an inch from hers. "Morning, Nicky."

"Sleep well?"

"Through the night," she replied softly, staring into his blue eyes. "Something I don't think either of us has done in a while."

"You snore," Nick remarked, placing a kiss on her forehead.

Tara laughed, and batted his face away. "I do not!"

"You do too," he grabbed her hands and held them tight. "It's cute."

"Anyway, how would you know that I snore? Weren't you sleeping?" Tara challenged.

When Nick didn't reply, she frowned, "Nick?"

"Couldn't sleep," he mumbled, dropping her hands and rolling over onto his back.

"But, Nicky…."

"I liked watching you sleep," Nick said coyly. "Even if you do snore."

"I do not snore!!" Tara sat up in bed and looked down at Nick, running a hand through his hair. "You're pale, and all puffy," she said softly, one finger tracing the bags under his eyes. "You really need your sleep."

He shrugged, and turned his face away, "sleeping isn't so easy anymore."

"You could have woken me up, I would have helped you get to sleep."

"How?" Nick looked into her eyes, his expression doubtful. "When I sleep, I remember things I don't want to think about."

"Warm milk?" Tara offered helpfully.

"Doesn't stop me from dreaming." Nick said regretfully. He rolled his eyes when the phone began to ring, and sat up, reaching across the bed to pick it up. "Hello?" He let out a soft gasp, and stared at Tara, his eyes wide. "Ok. We'll be right there."

"What?" Tara asked the second the phone was back on the hook, fearing the worst.

"What happened?"

Nick stood up before answering, taking a deep breath. "We need to get to Kevin's room."

"Why?" Tara followed him out of the room, her eyes widening when she saw him throw on a t-shirt and walk to the door. "Nick? Pants?"

Nick shrugged, and opened the door. "We need to get to Kevin's."

"What happened?" Tara asked again, grabbing a pair of pants off of the floor and pulling them on as she hopped through the door.

"Someone tried to run Kristen off the road last night. She's in the hospital," Nick answered sadly.

"Oh, god."

Brian answered the door as soon as they knocked, waving them in with a solemn expression. "He's not doing so good," he said softly, gesturing to Kevin, who was huddled on the couch with his face in his hands.

"Kevin, I'm so sorry," Tara offered, shaken to the bone at the sight of him so distraught.

Kevin was always strong, always in control, but right now he looked small and fragile.

Not at all what she'd ever expected to see.

"How is she, Kev?" Nick asked, sitting down next to Kevin and slinging an arm across his shoulders.

"Broken ribs, concussion," Kevin replied weakly. "Doctor says she's lucky. Could have been killed."

"Thank god she wasn't," Brian whispered, shaking his head slowly.

"He said he wasn't happy with his failure to kill her before, he said he was going to try again," Kevin continued, his green eyes bright. "Goddamn him, why doesn't he just hurt ME! Why does he have to go after my wife??"

"The idea is to torture us," Howie said sadly. "I think he knew hurting YOU wouldn't have much effect. Hurting Kristen…"

"That fucking bastard," Kevin interrupted, his lower lip trembling. "My wife has nothing to do with him."

"Neither does Howie, AJ, or Brian," Nick added, fighting tears himself. "We did this, Kev, you realize that?"

Kevin stared at Nick for a moment, before shrugging off his arm and standing up. "Yes, I realize that, thanks Nick," he said harshly, glaring at the blonde. "My wife's in the hospital because of a relationship I had years ago. I didn't exactly need the reminder."

"I'm just saying…"

"I know what you're saying, Nick, and you can stop it!"

"We don't know for sure this is him, Kevin," Brian argued, looking at his cousin.

"Yes we do," AJ said from the corner of the room, where he was sitting with a laptop on his lap. "He's got pictures."

"Of Kristen?" Kevin's face paled, and he ran to AJ, bending down to look at the screen.

"Oh god," he turned away the second the images registered on his mind.

"Of Kristen," AJ said sadly. "These must have been taken before the police and ambulance got there."

"At least we'll be in Florida this weekend, Kevin, you can see her then?" Nick said helpfully.

Kevin shook his head slowly, "no. Kristen's getting out of Florida the minute she gets out of that hospital. Brian, Leighanne should go too. Anyone we care about should get FAR

away from anywhere anyone could guess they'd be."

Nick's face turned green, and he sat up straight on the couch, staring at Kevin. "What do you mean, anywhere anyone could guess they'd be?"

"I mean if this guy knows we care about them, and knows where they'll be, that makes them a target."

"Don't say that," Nick said quickly, followed by a shake of his head. "No, don't say that, Kevin, don't."

"Why not?"

"Oh, Nicky," Brian breathed, his eyes wide. "This guy has never said a thing, I'm sure you don't have to worry…"

"Worry about what?" Tara asked, staring at Nick in concern. Something had him terrified all of a sudden, that much she could tell.

"Aaron, my brother," Nick said softly, staring at the floor in front of him. "God, the whole world knows where Aaron's going to be for the next two months. He's touring.

Aaron, my sisters, my mother, my father…they're all there."

Tara gasped, "oh, Nick."

"Get him to cancel the tour, Nick," Kevin said firmly.

"I can't, my mom would never let him…"

"DO IT, Nick," Kevin interrupted. "Ask you mom if she wants what happened to you to happen to Aaron. Then she'll cancel."

Nick's blue eyes filled with tears as he looked at Kevin. "You don't think…"

"I don't know anything anymore, Nick, he nearly killed my wife last night."

"He can't hurt my brother!"

"Then get him to cancel his tour, or this guy just might."

***

It was a very long, and tiresome day for everyone. The press work the guys were used to doing on tour had taken a very gruesome turn as of late, with reporters asking Nick question after question about his rape, and when they would discover he was unwilling to talk very much about it, they would ask about their "stalker," as they'd chosen to call the person inflicting such terror on them. They had known the press would do this, of course, but had realized, quite correctly, that it would be unable to pretend nothing was going on. Not with Nick, and now Kevin, near tears on a regular basis. It was pretty obvious.

The group gathered in Kevin's room after the night's show, each trying to make light of the day, and their concert, which had been mediocre at best. Nobody's mind was on the show. And, well, the fans weren't thinking much about the music either, as Nick quickly pointed out.

"Do you see the way they look at me?" Nick asked the group as he threw himself down on the couch, curling up into a ball. "Normally I get charged by the fans when I walk through the lobby. Can you believe I miss it?"

"They're just worried about you, Nicky," Howie said lightly. He had seen it as they'd returned from the night's concert, and had been stunned. The fans had run to the van as it had pulled up to the hotel, and then BACKED AWAY when they saw Nick emerge. As if they were afraid of him, almost.

"What do they think, if I sign their autograph or take a picture with them they're gonna catch something from me?" Nick asked angrily.

"Howie's right, Nick," Tara said softly, sitting down next to him and placing a hand on his knee. "They just don't know how to act around you, they're concerned."

"I liked it a lot more when they didn't give a shit about me, and only wanted their autograph," he muttered, shaking his head. "What kind of fans are they…"

"They're doing it to all of us," Brian said with a sigh, taking a seat across from Nick. "It's all of these articles about how someone's out to kill us, they're just scared."

"Putting on a half-assed show isn't helping much either," AJ grumbled.

"Bone, don't start," Kevin warned, glaring at him. "Not tonight."

"Well, if we'd canceled the tour…"

"We've been through that."

"All I'm saying is…"

"I KNOW what you're saying, and can it."

"Yes, Kevin. You always know best, Kevin," AJ said sarcastically.

"Did I say that?"

"I'm sure you meant it."

"Stop it, you two," Howie interrupted their bickering. "Yes, tonight's show was less than perfect, but we're going through a lot of shit right now, and the fans understand that."

"So that's why they're looking at me like I'm from another planet," Nick rolled his eyes.

"How many of them have ever dealt with rape before, Nick? You're opening their eyes up to something they probably never thought about before," Howie explained.

"Well, ya know, I never thought about it much either," Nick shot back, his eyes narrowing. "And now it seems I just can't forget it."

"I think we all just need a good night's sleep," Brian said loudly, looking around the room. "Especially you, and you," he singled out Nick and Kevin.

"I think we need to find the asshole who's been doing this and put him behind bars," AJ

argued. "Or just rip his head off."

"Palmer says she's getting closer," Howie offered helpfully. "Someone got a partial plate on Kristen's car, and she says she already has two solid suspects."

"Who?" Tara asked, her eyes widening when Howie didn't reply. "Howie? WHO?"

"Your friends," he said softly, biting his lip. "Tara, come on, it makes sense…"

"Why, because Andy's gay and Tommy's using his middle name? That's bullshit," she spat out angrily. "They're not blondes, for the record, and trust me, if Andy had slept with either of you two before, he would have mentioned it to me. He can't wait to meet you next week."

"Next week?" Brian asked.

"LA. He has backstage passes."

"Great, so we get to meet someone who could be the one doing all this shit to us.

Lovely," AJ groaned.

"Don't you start it too, if you're going to suspect every gay man around I could give you a pretty long list."

"He knew about you, Tara, isn't that where this came from?"

Tara sighed, "yes, but…"

"But nothing, he's a suspect. Hair color can change, just look at mine."

"So, ANYWAY," Kevin said, raising an eyebrow. "Nick. Did you talk to your mother about Aaron?"

Nick nodded slowly, "yes."

"And?"

"I knew what was going to happen, I told you she wouldn't cancel," Nick said sadly. "His tour's still happening."

"Even when you told her…"

"She said it was all my fault anyway," Nick's eyes filled with tears, and he bit his lip, not wanting to cry, yet again, in front of all of his friends. "She said it wouldn't happen to Aaron, because he's smarter than I am."

"Where does she get the nerve," Kevin hissed, his mouth dropping open in surprise.

"You don't believe that, do you?"

Nick shrugged sadly, before standing up and sniffling. "Aaron IS smarter than me. I don't know."

"Nick…"

"I'm gonna go to bed," he said quickly, looking down at Tara. "Coming, babe?"

"Yeah," Tara stood up and took his hand, squeezing it tight. "Kevin's right, you know, your mother had no right to say that to you."

"I don't care about my mom, Tara, I care about Aaron," Nick said. "If this guy touches him, I…I…" he shuddered, and shook his head. "I don't want to think about it."

"If it helps to know, Nick, I do think Aaron's going to be just fine," Kevin said softly.

"Why?"

"Because he's already targeted a person you care about."

"What?" Nick looked at Kevin, his eyes narrowing. "Explain?"

"Well, I think my mom's ok, because he's already gone after Kristen, you know? It's Kristen I need to watch out for."

"So…."

"So Aaron should be ok."

"Because?"

"He's already targeted Tara."

"Oh."

Tara added softly, "yeah. Oh."

***

Chapter 26

"You know, I really wish that boy would answer his phone," Tara grumbled, after leaving yet another message on Andy's answering machine the next night.

"Who?" Nick asked, looking at her curiously.

"Andy," she sighed, and yawned. "He was going to tell me something about Jessica, and then we got interrupted. I haven't been able to reach him since."

"Jessica?"

"Jessica Stephenson. You know her…" Tara looked at Nick, nodding when his eyes lit up with recognition. "Her."

"How does Andy know her?" Nick stood up and stretched. "Bed?"

Tara nodded, and let Nick pull her up off the couch. "Beyond the fact that they both work for you guys? They're old friends, I don't know how they met."

"College?" He suggested, holding her hand as he walked into the bedroom.

"Nope. Andy went to UCLA, but Jess went somewhere back East. I don't know where."

"So you've had all these connections to us, and you didn't even know it," Nick smiled lightly, pulling off his clothes and sliding under the covers.

Tara laughed, and got into the bed next to him. "I knew, just never much cared."

"Right, us pretty boys don't interest you," he joked, snuggling up against her.

"Didn't," Tara corrected. "One pretty boy sure interests me a lot now."

Nick kissed her lightly, before leaning over and turning out the light. "Well, that's good,"

he said softly, running a hand through her hair.

"Very good," she agreed.

"Not that it's done you a hell of a lot of good…"

"What are you talking about?" Tara stared at him in the dark, wishing she could make out the expression on his face. "Nick?"

"We'll be in Florida tomorrow. That will be good."

Tara frowned, and touched his face, wondering what was going through his head. "Nick, I never thought a man like you existed out there. Just knowing that, in itself, has been wonderful to me."

"Sure," he said flatly, turning his head away from her touch.

"Nick, talk to me?"

"Go to sleep," Nick rolled over onto his side, curling up in bed.

Tara spooned him from behind, wrapping her arms around his waist. "You know you can always talk to me," she said softly, kissing the back of his neck.

"There's nothing to say," he muttered. "I don't want anyone else to get hurt because of me, and I won't feel right until I KNOW that's not going to happen."

"It's not your fault…"

"Yes it is," he said angrily, shrugging off her embrace and getting out of bed. "I won't be able to sleep anyway, I'm going to watch television."

"Nick," Tara followed him into the living room, frowning when he sat down on the couch and turned on the television. "This isn't your fault!"

"Yes, it is, Tara!" Nick shot back, glaring at her. "If I hadn't broken up with Gayle the way I had, he wouldn't be doing this."

"What are you talking about? You said he was accusing you of things that weren't true…"

Nick bit his lip and turned up the volume on the television, his eyes fixed on the screen.

"Yeah."

"So? How's that make anything your fault?" When Nick didn't reply, she stood in front of the television, her arms crossed over her chest. "Tell me!"

"I didn't just break up with him, the way I said before. I beat him up!" Nick shouted angrily. "He wouldn't lay off with the whole 'you're living a lie,' bullshit, and threatened to expose me, and I wasn't going to take it. I just, I lost it, I just kept punching him until he fell down, and then I kicked him, and…." He stopped, and shuddered. "I beat him up, so it's all my fault," he finished sadly.

Tara stared at Nick in surprise, her eyes wide. "Nick…"

"Don't even try to make excuses for what I did," Nick interrupted her, his eyes bright.

"You'll be lying, and I don't want to hear it."

Tara's mouth opened, and then shut, as she tried to figure out what to say.

"Go to sleep."

"You need your sleep too," she said softly.

"I'm not sleeping," he waved for her to move, and began flipping through the television.

"Go."

Tara nodded slowly. "Goodnight, Nicky." She sighed at his fixation on the television, and disappeared into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Nick sniffled loudly, and stared at the television, hoping something would be on there to occupy his mind. He looked at the closed bedroom door, and sighed. "Goodnight, Tara, I hope you can have one. Because I don't have good nights anymore."

***

"Home sweet home," AJ said forlornly, staring out the window of the van as it sped through the streets of Orlando to their hotel.

"Yeah, right," Howie said sadly. Returning to Orlando with the tour was normally a very happy, and joyous experience. Their friends and family would be around, they could sleep in their own beds, but now, it was just a reminder of all the things that they had lost. Their friends had been warned to stay away for their own safety, and their family was long gone.

"I hope she's ok," Kevin whispered, his forehead pressed against the cool glass of the window. Kristen had been checked out of the hospital last night, and had immediately boarded a flight out of the country. He'd missed seeing her by one day. He missed his wife…

"The doctors said she's fine, right?" Brian reminded him helpfully.

"They don't know her like I do," Kevin replied. "She puts up a strong front, but…this is all my fault, and she must hate me for it."

Nick grunted, and continued to stare out the window in silence. His fault. It was HIS

fault. He hadn't told the guys what he'd told Tara the night before, about the fight he'd had with Gayle, and wasn't quite sure how, or when, he was going to. Once he told them, they'd know….all of their lives were in danger now, because he had a temper.

Tara's eyes were fixed on Nick, and she bit her lip when she saw his face contort at Kevin's comment. How much more could any of them take, she wondered? Andy was always full of stories about how much touring would get to the guys, how stressful and exhausting it was, how they would be near complete breakdown by the time the tour ended. But touring, on top of this? They were all falling apart, and she was terrified Nick was going to be the first one to break. Nick, or Kevin, she thought sadly, looking at him across the van. Kevin's eyes, normally the most beautiful color of green she'd ever seen, were now dull and pale, the color barely distinguishable from the white of his eyes. How was anyone supposed to function normally, when so much was happening to them?

"All right, everyone out," one of the bodyguards stuck his head into the van and yanked the doors open. "We're in an underground garage, so no need to run."

"Great," AJ smiled at Marcus as he stepped out of the van, slinging his bag over his shoulder. "Gimme key, I need a shower."

"Philly's upstairs, he's got them, as always," Marcus waved him inside.

"Gotcha."

Tara followed AJ out of the van, and turned around, waiting for Nick. Her eyes widened when he stumbled on the steps down, Marcus catching him an instant before he would have hit the ground. "Nick!"

"I'm fine, let me go," he said angrily, shrugging off Marcus' arms around his waist.

"Sure, that's why you almost cracked your head open," Marcus shot back, rolling his eyes.

"Just tired."

"You need to get some sleep, Nick," Howie said softly, looking at his friend with concern.

"I know we're all kind of creeped out, but we still have shows to do. How are you going to dance, if you can't even walk down two steps?"

Nick glared at Howie for a moment, before grabbing his bag and heading into the hotel.

"I'll be fine."

"Nick," Tara scrambled to catch up to him, taking his hand to slow him down. "Hey, wait for me," she said, forcing a weak smile onto her face.

Nick looked down at her, before shrugging, his expression not changing. "Walk faster, then."

Tara stopped walking, shocked by the anger in his words, and watched as he continued to charge ahead into the hotel. "What is going through your head?" she whispered. He was in so much pain, emotional and physical, and he wouldn't let anyone close enough to help him.

"What's with Nick?" Brian asked, stopping next to her and seeing the expression on her face. "He barely said two words the entire trip here."

"He's barely said two words the past two days," Tara said sadly. Except for his angry rant the night before, that is. If he wasn't yelling at her, he wasn't talking. "It's like he's just shut down."

"I'm sure he just needs some time to process everything that's happened to him, Tara, he'll be all right," Brian said with a false cheerfulness he certainly did not feel.

"Do you really think so?" She looked into his eyes, making a face when he refused to meet her gaze. "You don't even believe it yourself."

"I'm just scared, Tara," he said sadly, continuing to walk into the hotel. "We've been through a lot together as a group, you know? But we've never had to go through anything like this. I don't know how it's all going to end."

"It's how it's going to end that scares me, Brian," Tara admitted. "The FBI is doing no good, I don't have access to anything from work anymore…if they can't stop him, how is this going to end? We know what he wants to ultimately do."

Brian gasped softly, and bowed his head. "I don't want to think about that."

"It's all I can think about," she said sadly. "When, and how, this is all going to end."

***

"ANDY!" Tara screamed into the phone, grinning from ear to ear. "Finally, you pick up the damn phone!"

"I'm sorry girlie, it's just been a crazy week at work," he said apologetically. "How you been?"

"Oh, lovely," she said sarcastically, shooting a look at Nick sitting on the couch, his eyes fixed on the television. "Hang on, let me go into the other room." She waved at Nick, who of course, didn't pay her any attention, and walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind her. "It's getting bad," she said sadly, sitting down on the bed. "This guy, what he's been doing, it's taking one hell of a toll on everyone."

"Things not going well with Puppy?"

"Puppy's falling apart."

"Damn, Tara, I'm so sorry…"

"So am I," she frowned, feeling her eyes fill with tears. "I don't know what to do, Andy, I know he's acting the way he's acting because he's hurting, but….I've never met anyone before who just kept it all inside like this. I'm used to, well, YOU, screaming and ranting when you get upset. Not this, I'm going to be a stubborn asshole and ignore everyone and pout thing."

"That's what he's doing?"

"Yup. He won't talk to anyone, he spends every spare moment staring at the television, he won't even let me touch him anymore, he's just shut down."

"Something will break him out of it, eventually, Tara, and he'll snap, I bet. He'll need you then," Andy said reassuringly. "Just be there for him when it happens."

"What's it gonna take, though? That's what scares me."

"I don't know Puppy psychology, sorry, baby, I'm just a geek," Andy said lightly.

"So, you were going to tell me something about Jessica last time we talked, before you got distracted," Tara reminded him.

"Oooh, yeah, how is my AJ?" Andy asked with a giggle.

"Lovely," she replied sarcastically. "Wouldn't you be just peachy, knowing someone's out there trying to kill you?"

"Damn girl, take the claws off, I was just asking…"

"I know, I'm sorry," Tara sighed. "Nobody's doing very well, ok?"

"I tell ya, I can't wait to see you all Tuesday, sounds like it's going to be one hell of a show."

"Oh sure, Nick can barely walk straight, Kevin's like the walking dead, and they're going to put on a concert?" Tara snorted. "Thank god they're off tonight."

"They gonna take the time to relax?"

"I don't think they CAN relax, Andy, neither can I, not with what's been going on."

"Damn."

"Yeah. So, Jessica?"

"Oh!" Andy laughed. "It's not that big of a deal, babe, I just thought you'd be interested in knowing."

"Knowing what?"

"She had a fling with one of the guys a year back."

Tara's eyes widened, "a fling?"

"Yeah, was a tour fling kinda deal, nothing serious, although, I dunno, I think she really fell for him. But it's long over now."

"Which guy?"

Andy giggled, "not Puppy, if that's what you're wondering."

"Which guy?" Tara repeated.

"Howie."

"Interesting," Tara said softly, considering what that could mean, given what Jessica had said to her.

"Interesting?"

"She just said some strange stuff to me about being able to lie, keeping secrets, stuff like that."

"Oh, yeah, that was a big thing when she had her fling with Howie, he was very insistent that nobody ever know. That's why I told you before, you can't tell Puppy. She'd kill me, and I guess Howie would kill her."

Tara sighed, "I won't tell Nick. It's not like he's talking to me anyway."

"You sleep in the same bed, girl, how can you really not talk?"

"He hasn't been sleeping."

"Oh."

Tara's head shot up, her stomach churning at the sound of a loud scream. "What the…"

She ran to the door and threw it open, finding Nick already running to the door of the hotel room. "Who was that?"

Nick looked at her, horror etched across his face. "Brian."

"Oh god." She put the phone to her ear, "Andy, I gotta go."

"Why?"

"Something's going on, I'll talk to you later." She flipped the phone closed, and threw it down, following Nick into the hall.

***

Chapter 27

Tara found Nick, Kevin, and AJ pounding on the door to Brian's room, screaming for him to open it.

"What's going on?" Howie joined them soon after Tara arrived, his eyes widening at the looks on everyone's faces. "You guys are screaming…"

"You didn't hear Brian?" AJ asked him, before continuing to bang on the door.

"No, I was sleeping," Howie explained. "What'd he do?"

"Screamed. Loud." Kevin frowned, and looked at Howie. "Go to Philly's room, get his key to Brian's."

"Gotcha," Howie took off down the hallway at top speed.

"Brian, open up! Brian!!" Nick's voice cracked as he screamed, and he stepped away from the door, shocked by his own emotion. "Dammit."

"Cuz, come on, just open the damn door," Kevin pleaded, kicking the door with all of his strength. "WHY WON'T YOU FUCKING ANSWER!!"

"Philly's not there," Howie returned, out of breath. "He still hasn't opened?"

"No," Kevin thought for a moment, before turning to Nick. "Go into your room, call to the front desk, tell them we need a key to Brian's room."

"Why me?" Nick argued, glaring at Kevin. "I want to stay…"

"You need to go DO something, now," Kevin said firmly, giving Nick a shove. "Go."

Tara followed Nick into their room, watching as he sat down on the couch and made the call. "He's going to be ok, Nick," she said softly.

Nick stared at her for a moment, before turning away, shaking his head. He spoke quietly into the phone, before hanging it up. "They're on their way."

"Nick…"

Nick held a hand up, and shook his head again. "Don't. Just, don't," he looked at Tara sadly, tears in his eyes.

"But…"

"I said don't," he snapped, and walked out the door, back into the hallway.

"Shit," Tara muttered, following him out.

The group continued to pound on Brian's door for a few minutes, until the hotel manager showed up, key in hand. They watched impatiently as he opened the door, and waved them in.

Kevin was first into the room, charging in and looking around. "Brian? Where are you?"

"Brian," Nick gasped, and backed away from the bedroom door at the sight of his friend.

"Brian, what's going on?" Kevin ran into the bedroom, shooting a glare at Nick for not going in.

Brian was huddled in a ball on the floor of his bedroom, his arms wrapped tight around his knees, rocking back and forth. Tears were streaming down his face, as he slowly raised his head to look at Kevin. "Kev?"

"It's me, Brian, what happened?" Kevin dropped to the floor in front of his cousin, pulling him into a hug. "Tell me."

"It's over there," Brian said weakly, pointing to the other side of the room.

"It?"

AJ pushed past Nick, who was still standing in the doorway of the room, and walked over to the object on the floor, picking it up and examining it. "Oh holy fucking hell," he cursed.

"What is it?" Howie asked, joining them in the room.

AJ held it up for Howie to see, nodding when the other man cursed similarly. "Yeah."

'It' was a warped version of a crucifix, with Brian's Backstreet Boys' action figure nailed to a wooden cross. It had been painted red where the nails went through the plastic, and the head of the figure had been broken, to droop down in an imitation of what most crucifixes looked like.

Kevin looked up, gasping when he registered what AJ was holding. "Fuck," he muttered, returning his attention to his cousin sobbing in his arms. "Brian, it's just an action figure…"

"It's me, Kevin, it's supposed to be me," Brian cried, clutching onto Kevin tight for support. "I can't deal with this anymore, not that, how could someone do this?"

Tara stood outside the room, watching the events inside, as well as Nick, still leaning on the doorpost, tears slowly trickling down his face. She was feeling more and more helpless as the days went on, what could she do other than watch?

"We're gonna stop this Brian, I swear we are," Kevin said consolingly, rubbing his cousin's back.

"We have to, Kevin, this is just wrong," Brian looked up at Nick hiding in the doorway, and his eyes narrowed. "Nicky? Are you ok?"

Nick stared back at Brian for a moment, before shaking his head and running out of the room at top speed.

"Go after him," Kevin told Tara, waving to Nick. "We got things under control here, Brian'll be fine."

Tara chased Nick back into their room, frowning when he stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door. "Nick? Open up."

"You can sleep out there," he called through the door, his voice muffled.

"You can't stay cooped up in there."

"Yes I can, and I will."

Tara tried to open the door of the room, frowning when it refused to budge. "You locked me out!"

"That was the idea of the lock."

"Goddammit, Nick, open the fucking door!" Tara shouted, kicking the door for emphasis.

"NO! Leave me the fuck alone!" He shouted back.

"Shit," Tara cursed, and walked back into the room, sitting down on the couch with her arms crossed over her chest. "Dammit, Nick, you can't do this to me," she muttered, curling up and staring at the locked door. She continued to stare at the door until her eyes began to close on her, and she fell asleep, still wondering when Nick would let her in.

***

Tara woke up to the sound of gunfire. She sat up with a start, looking around the room in a panic. "What's going on?" She groaned when she saw Nick sitting in front of the television, Nintendo controller in hand. "Oh."

"Sorry if I woke you up," Nick mumbled, continuing to stare at the television.

"That's ok," Tara rubbed her eyes, and looked at Nick carefully. "Are you ok?"

"Dandy," he threw the controller on the floor and walked into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

Tara stared at the closed door, her mouth dropping open in surprise. Ok, what the hell was that?? "Nick," she got up and banged on the door, rolling her eyes when he didn't reply. "NICK!"

"WHAT?" Nick yanked the door open and glared at her through narrowed eyes. "What the fuck do you want?"

"Do you want me to leave?" Tara asked quickly, biting her lip against the tears she could feel forming in her eyes.

"Yes," he said flatly, before slamming the door again.

Tara fought back a sob, and banged on the door again. "NICK!"

"I just said yes!" He shouted as he opened the door. "Now what?"

"My things are in there," she gestured past him into the bedroom.

"I didn't mean permanently," Nick said quickly, frowning at the tears in her eyes. "Why are you crying?"

Tara looked at him in amazement. He really didn't have a clue, did he. "Why? Gee, Nick, why would I be crying," she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"Why?" He asked again, his eyes widening when she stormed away from him. "Tara…"

"You know, Nick, I tried real hard not to fall for you. But you just kept pushing, until I did, and now that I genuinely care about you? You just don't seem to give a shit," Tara said angrily, waving him away. "You want me gone, I'm gone."

"Don't leave the tour," Nick insisted, watching her run through the suite. "Tara…"

"I'm not, Nick, not just yet. I just think I need a room of my own," Tara left the room, slamming the door behind her. She headed down the hallway, before stopping, unsure of where to go. She smiled weakly at the security guards sitting outside the hotel room, and continued walking, biting her lip.

"Hey!"

Tara gave a start at the loud voice, and turned around, forcing a smile on to her face.

"Jessica."

"Where you headed?"

"Not sure," she ran a hand through her hair. "I'm half asleep, I think I need coffee."

"I was just heading down to get some breakfast, want to join me?" Jessica asked her cheerfully.

Tara shrugged. "Sure." She followed Jessica into the elevator and punched the button for the lobby, before turning to her curiously. "So what were you doing up here? I thought only the guys, and their bodyguards were on this floor?"

"Bodyguards, management, yeah, they're all up here," Jessica nodded.

"So…."

"So I had to talk to Philly about some stuff, that's all," she replied evenly. "I am here WORKING, you know."

"I know that…"

"It's been pretty tough lately, actually," Jessica strode out of the elevator when it stopped, quickly making her way into the hotel restaurant. Once they were seated, she continued, "you know, I always have to post pictures on the website, and write cute little blurbs about what's been going on. This tour, it's been pretty hard to do."

"Why?" Tara asked, her eyes narrowing.

"There hasn't been very much happy stuff happening to report," Jessica explained.

"Most of the pictures I've gotten have been unusable, and what on earth am I supposed to report about what's been going on?"

"I can understand that," Tara nodded. "You don't really want to tell them the truth, huh."

"Well, to an extent, I have to, that was what I was talking to Philly about. Nick…they're writing in, asking how he's doing." Jessica looked at Tara closely. "How IS he doing?"

Tara snorted, "oh lovely."

"That bad?"

"Yeah."

"Can't be easy on him, going through all of this so publicly," Jessica said sympathetically.

"Not when they're all used to being so private."

"You mentioned that before, that they don't like telling the truth?" Tara said delicately.

"They've all seemed pretty open to me, though, I mean, I'm nobody, and they've just brought me in here like this."

"These aren't exactly normal circumstances though. Under normal circumstances, trust me, you would have gotten nowhere near them."

Tara frowned, and bit her lip. "I don't know, they seem like pretty open guys."

Jessica chuckled, and waved to the waitress for coffee. "Sure they are. Tell me, Tara, exactly how much do you know about any of them?"

"Well, I…" Tara started, then stopped, considering the question carefully.

"Not much, right? Know anything about their families? Friends? What they like to do for fun?"

Tara stared at Jess, her eyes wide. "I guess not," she said softly, frowning deeply. She hadn't even known Nick had a brother until he'd mentioned him…

"See? They're very private. Too private, some might say. Paranoid."

"Rightly so."

"With you? They can trust you," Jessica stirred her coffee, before looking up at Tara, a wry smile on her face. "Can't they?"

"Of course!!"

"They still don't. They don't trust anyone," she said firmly. "Nick's the worst of them, it doesn't surprise me at all that he's acting up now."

"What do you mean, the worst?"

"Threaten Nick's secrets, then…ooh…" Jessica chuckled. "He'll do awful things. He's got a temper, you know."

Tara's face fell, and she looked at Jessica, sensing the conversation had moved into another direction. "Pardon?"

"Nick. He has one hell of a temper. Has he hit you yet?"

Tara gasped, and stood up, shaking her head. "I think I'm going to go find him…"

"Tara, I'm just trying to warn you," Jessica said quickly, grabbing her hand. "Don't trust them, it'll only get you hurt."

"I really care about him, Jessica, I'm more worried about him being hurt right now."

"I know from experience here, ok? They've screwed over people they've claimed to have cared about in the past, they won't hesitate to do it to you."

Tara yanked her hand away, her heart pounding in her chest. What the HELL was Jessica talking about? And why was she getting such an awful feeling from this conversation… "I'll see you later, Jess," she said, walking away.

"Tootles, Tara. Watch your back!"

***

Chapter 28

The group sat around eating dinner before the night's show in silence, nobody really having anything to say.

"You need to eat, Nick," Kevin looked at Nick, and gestured to the full plate in front of him.

"Not hungry," Nick mumbled, grabbing his glass instead. He drained it of the soda inside, before sighing, "are we done?"

"Shouldn't drink soda before a show, Kaos, you'll burp on stage," AJ remarked with a grin. "As you well know."

"Bite me," Nick rolled his eyes. "I need caffeine."

"You wouldn't if you got any sleep," Kevin told him. "You need sleeping pills?"

Nick's eyes widened, and his face contorted into a frown. "Excuse me?"

"Sleeping pills. You could see a doctor?"

Nick bit his lip and shook his head stubbornly, "no." God, couldn't anything be private anymore? Maybe he should see a doctor, Kevin says, in front of EVERYONE.

"You need to sleep."

"I will, when I need to."

"Nicky, we're just worried you're gonna crack," Howie said consolingly.

"I'm GOING TO?" Nick said in amazement. "You don't think I have already? Do you REALIZE what happened to me a week ago? Jesus christ…"

"Want to go to church with me tomorrow?" Brian asked, his blue eyes full of concern.

"You need to find some sort of peace with what's happened to you, Nick."

Nick snorted, "and you really think I'm going to find it in a church."

"You might."

"Where was God last week, Brian?" Nick stood up and glared at his friend, his eyes filling with tears. "Why should I go waste my time on Him now, when He just stood by and watched me then."

Brian's eyes grew bright, and he bowed his head sadly. "It might help…"

"Nothing will help," Nick said angrily, turning around and storming out of the room.

"Church, Brian?" AJ said once Nick had left, his eyes narrowed. "What good do you think praying's going to do?"

"It will help me, ok?" Brian met AJ's gaze steadily. "I need something to hold on to."

"Do you think that's smart, though? It's pretty easy to guess where you'd be on a Sunday morning, especially when we're home like this." Kevin frowned. "Might not be safe."

"I don't care," Brian shook his head. "I need to go, and I won't be talked out of it."

"Brian…"

"I'll go with him, ok, Kevin?" AJ offered, seeing from the expression on Brian's face that he was not going to budge. "We'll bring both of our bodyguards, and a coupla of the rent-a-cops."

"I still don't like the idea," Kevin sighed. "But yeah, I guess, if you really want to go."

"Not want, Kevin. I have to go," Brian corrected. "My wife isn't here, my family isn't here, but my faith…it's all I have left."

"Just be careful."

"I will, I promise, I will."

***

"Morning," Tara let Kevin into the room bright and early.

"Did he sleep?" Kevin asked her, groaning when she shook her head no. "Dammit."

Tara had tried to get a room of her own, but the hotel had been booked solid. Not that it really mattered, she supposed, since it wasn't like Nick was using the bedroom, or talking to her. It was almost like having a room of her own. Almost. "Yeah," she said softly, waving to the bathroom. "He's taking a shower."

"Is he talking to you at all?" Kevin asked, sitting down on the couch and stretching his legs. "He's only yelling at us…"

"Nope," she shook her head sadly, sitting down across from him. "He won't even yell at me now, he just gives me funny looks and mopes around."

"Palmer's suggested bringing in a psychiatrist to talk to him," Kevin sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. "I know Nick will hate me for doing it, but I really am starting to think we have no choice."

"He can't keep going on like this," Tara said, her eyes filling with tears. "He's hurting so badly, Kevin, I can see it, I know you can too. But living on Mountain Dew and coffee is just making things worse, he needs sleep, and he needs to eat."

"Hey!" Howie walked into the room, smiling at Kevin and Tara. "Good morning."

"Didn't someone get up on the right side of the bed this morning," Kevin remarked.

"I slept really well last night, for the first time in a long time," Howie told him, scowling when Kevin rolled his eyes. "What?"

"You always sleep well, D," Kevin cracked.

"I do not, not since," Howie rubbed his hand, and a solemn expression crossed his face.

"You know."

"Does it still hurt?" Tara asked, looking at the reddened skin on his hand.

Howie shrugged, "it's not so bad now, but yeah, it still throbs a little."

"Has Palmer told you anything worth hearing about catching the freaks doing this?"

Tara asked Kevin. "I mean, getting Nicky a shrink is nice and all, but it'd be a lot nicer if she could do her job."

"She said they lifted a print off of the action figure that was left in Brian's room, and are running it now. If we're lucky, they'll get a match," Kevin said, with a wry smile.

"Wouldn't it be nice, after everything that's happened, if we caught this guy with something so simple as a fingerprint?"

"Why do I get the feeling nothing is ever that simple?" Tara asked.

"Nothing ever is," Howie agreed.

"What's this, a party?" Nick emerged from the bathroom, frowning when he saw Howie and Kevin in the room.

"Just came by for breakfast," Kevin told him.

"You didn't go with Brian to church?" Nick sneered the word, rolling his eyes.

"AJ went with Brian, and they should be back any minute," Kevin replied evenly.

"They'll meet us here."

"Great." Nick sat down at the desk in the corner and opened his laptop.

"What are you doing, Nicky?" Howie asked, trying to read the computer from across the room.

"Reading my favorite website," he replied with a smirk. "What else."

"He's been doing that a lot lately too," Tara whispered to Kevin, sighing heavily.

"Reading this guy's daily diary."

"Oh look, he says today's the day," Nick bent closer to the screen of the computer, biting his lip. "He'll have an update later with details."

"Today's the day for what?" Howie asked.

Nick looked at Howie, his expression blank. "Brian."

Kevin gasped, and stared at Nick. "Today's the day for Brian what?"

"Brian to get his," Nick shrugged. "Brian's turn."

"Jesus, Nick," Kevin cursed, before pulling out his cellphone. "We need to warn him."

"How can you just act like you don't care, Nick?" Howie asked him in amazement, unable to believe his calm expression. "Nick, what does it say is going to happen to Brian?"

"Same as always," Nick replied evenly. "He'd said Brian was next, right? We didn't stop him any other time, why would we think we can stop him now?"

"That doesn't mean you don't try!" Kevin shouted angrily, throwing down his phone angrily when he got no answer on Brian's cellphone. "Dammit!"

"Try AJ's, or one of their bodyguards," Howie advised.

"Why bother," Nick groaned. "He's going to kill all of us, and there's nothing we can do to stop him."

"Nick, that's not true," Tara said, her eyes wide at the words coming from his mouth.

"You don't really believe that."

"Of course I do," Nick shot back, standing up and walking to her. "We're all going to die, Tara, because we can't stop this guy. He knows it, I know it, and it's about time the rest of you knew it. It'd make things much easier if you just stopped caring. At least I'm not scared anymore."

"You look pretty damn scared to me," she shot back.

"Scared?" Nick chuckled, a hard, sarcastic laugh. "Not at all. When he kills me, I'll be thankful."

"Shut up Nick!" Howie shouted, glaring at him. "He is not going to kill anyone, and Brian's not going to get hurt!"

"Oh yes he is."

"Oh no he's not," Kevin said firmly, closing his telephone with a relieved sigh. "AJ and Brian are back, they're in the elevator now."

Nick stared at Kevin, his mouth dropping open in surprise. "Nothing happened?"

"Nope."

"But…he said…"

"What, Nick, do you want Brian to get hurt?" Kevin asked angrily. "Is that it? If you did, Brian should too?"

"No, I want him to KILL ME," Nick screamed, his eyes filling with tears. "I want to be put out of my fucking misery, and I can't, not until he does everything he says has to happen before he can get to me."

"Nick," Tara gasped, reaching out for him. "Don't say things like that…"

"Why not? It's true," he said harshly, jerking away from her touch. "I don't want to live like this anymore."

"Miss us?" AJ burst through the door with a grin, Brian a step behind him.

"No," Nick replied, returning to his computer without a glance at AJ.

"You're ok, Brian?" Kevin asked, his eyes looking his cousin over as he walked into the room.

Brian sat down on the couch and took a deep breath before replying. "I'm fine."

Howie's eyes narrowed, and he frowned, "you don't look so ok."

"A little out of breath," he replied, sitting up straight and pressing a hand to his chest.

"I'll be fine, just let me relax."

"He started getting this way in the car," AJ told Kevin fretfully. "He insisted he was ok, though."

"What happened at church to get you out of breath?" Kevin asked.

"Nothing," Brian replied, pausing between words to fight for breath. "A service, communion, nothing special."

"You took communion?"

Brian nodded, "of course."

"Who gave it to you?"

Brian looked at Kevin dimly. "Who do you think?"

"The altar boys had the wafers, I saw the priest taking them off of there to give to people," AJ explained. "Trust me, I was watching that close."

"Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital, Brian?" Kevin asked, not liking one bit the state his cousin was in.

"What, you think someone," he stopped to pant for a moment, before finishing,

"poisoned me?"

"Brian?" Nick looked up from his computer to stare at his best friend, the expression on his face softening for the first time in days. "You need help," he said softly.

"No," Brian shook his head slowly. "I don't."

"You look like you used to look, before…" Nick said, standing up and walking over to Brian. "Please? Get help?"

"What happened to 'we're all gonna die,' Nicky?" Howie asked sarcastically.

"Fuck off," Nick spat at Howie, before turning back to Brian. "Rok, please, let us take you to the hospital," he pleaded, his voice sounding small and scared.

Brian lay back on the couch, his breathing beginning to sound labored. "Maybe," he choked out, clutching at his chest. "It just got worse," he gasped, his blue eyes wide with fear.

"God, he's turning blue," Nick gasped, staring at Brian in horror. "Call an ambulance!"

Kevin was already calling before Nick could finish asking, unable to believe what he was seeing with his own eyes. Brian's heart was fine, they'd been told that a million times.

And yet, here he was…

"What's happening?" Brian asked through gasps, looking at Nick through narrowed eyes, his skin flushed. "I can't….see…you…"

"I'm right here, B," Nick dropped to his knees in front of Brian, taking his hand and squeezing it tight. "See me?"

"No," Brian panted, trying to look at Nick, but all he could see was fuzz in front of him.

"Nicky?"

"Brian, listen to me," Nick said, holding Brian's hand in between his. "Stay with me, ok?

Don't go anywhere."

"I…can't…breathe…." Brian's body began to shake with a small convulsion, and a cry of pain left his throat. "Nick!"

"I'm here, I'm right here," Nick began to cry, and he pressed Brian's hand to his cheek, his lower lip trembling. "I didn't mean it, B, I swear to god I didn't mean it. I love you, and you have to be ok, so stay with me! I don't want you to die! I don't want anyone to die, don't go!"

"Frack," Brian croaked, a slight smile crossing his blue lips.

"Frick," Nick sobbed, before turning to Kevin. "Where's the fucking ambulance?"

"It'll be here in a second!" Kevin said quickly, running to the door to the room and throwing it open. "It'd BETTER be here in a second!"

"I swear Brian, I didn't mean it, you have to be ok," Nick repeated, tears rolling down his face. "Please be ok. God, please make him be ok."

AJ nodded, fighting tears himself, agreeing with the sentiment. "Please God, let Brian be ok."

***

Chapter 29

The group was gathered in the small waiting room, anxiously awaiting news about Brian.

Kevin had accompanied him in the ambulance to the hospital, and had grimly reported that Brian had lost consciousness during the ride, and things didn't look good.

"He's going to be fine. Just fine," AJ muttered, pacing back and forth across the room.

"Will you stop that?" Howie grumbled, growing frustrated with AJ's constant movement.

"NO," AJ shot back, continuing to pace.

"Stop arguing," Kevin told them, sitting with his head in his hands. He couldn't take this…not Brian…. "I wish Kristen was here," he said sadly, looking up and seeing Nick cuddled up with Tara.

"At least she's safe," Howie reminded him gently.

"Yeah."

"He has to be fine," Nick whispered, biting his lip. His tears had slowed a bit since they had arrived at the hospital, but his eyes were still bloodshot, and he shuddered as he spoke. "I can't believe I wanted this to happen, what's wrong with me…"

"You were just upset, Nick, you didn't want this to happen," Tara tried to console him, but he looked at her dimly. "You didn't! Not this, not really!"

"I just wanted this to end," he leaned into Tara, pulling her arms around his waist. "I didn't want to feel anymore, not anything…how could I want that…"

"Shut up, Nick, this isn't about you," AJ glared at him, rolling his eyes when Nick let out a hurt cry. "Jesus."

"I love Brian," Nick whispered, shaking his head. "I never would want to see him hurt.

He can't die."

Kevin gasped and looked up at Nick, his eyes brimming with tears. "Don't say that."

"But…"

"Don't say that," Kevin repeated, his expression enough to quiet Nick. "He won't."

"Nick," Tara poked him gently, gesturing to the doctor walking into the room. "Look…"

"Thank god," Kevin breathed, jumping up and running to the doctor. "So? How is he?"

The group quickly gathered around the doctor, all of them desperate for knowledge about their friend.

"Brian Littrell, right?" The doctor asked, looking at the group gathered in front of him.

"Yes," Kevin replied, nodding quickly. "How is he?"

"He's a very lucky man," the doctor said solemnly. "If he had been having so much pain that he needed to take that much nitroglycerin, well, he should have come here instead…."

"What are you talking about?" Kevin interrupted, his eyes narrowing. "Brian was fine until he got back from church."

"Brian had a toxic amount of nitroglycerin in his system, which is why he was having problems breathing," the doctor explained. "Fortunately, the effects of it is short-term, and he will be just fine. However, whatever underlying problem it was that prompted him to take this much must be solved, I'm assuming, from the scar on his chest, he has had heart problems in the past?"

"Yeah, but Brian doesn't take nitroglycerin, what the hell is it?" Kevin said, staring at the doctor in confusion.

The doctor looked back at Kevin with a similarly confused expression. "Nitroglycerin is used to treat severe angina, and similar heart disorders. Surely you've seen him take it, it's a wafer, generally placed under the tongue, it would help him breathe in the event he was having an attack. But when too much is taken, well, you have seen what results."

"Brian does NOT have a heart problem anymore!" Nick said angrily, his eyes wide. "He doesn't take anything!"

The doctor looked at Nick dimly. "I don't know quite what to say, then. Your friend overdosed on nitroglycerin. How it got into his system, I don't know…"

"I do," AJ said grimly. "The altar boy."

"What?" The doctor asked.

"Can I see him?" Kevin asked quickly, not wanting the doctor to know whatever it was AJ had to say. Better he thought it was an accidental overdose, than know what was truly going on with the group.

"He's still in the Intensive Care Unit, and will be until he regains consciousness, so only family is allowed in to visit him," the doctor explained. "Tomorrow morning we'll move him down here, and assuming all goes well, he can be released tomorrow afternoon."

"I'm family," Kevin told him. "Where is he?"

"Come, I'll take you."

"You guys go back to the hotel, I'll call you in a bit, let you know how he's doing," Kevin told the group, before following the doctor out of the room.

"Ok, explain, altar boy?" Howie turned to AJ, confusion on his face.

"I thought nothing of it at the time," AJ frowned, and shook his head. "Dammit, I should have though. There were two altar boys there, for the whole service, right? Then comes communion. Suddenly a third is there….one of the original two filled the communion cup, another was holding a tray with the wafers on it. But the third switched trays with the other dude right before Brian."

"And nitroglycerin is a wafer," Howie groaned. "So if that had been what was on top…"

"It's what the priest would have given Brian."

"Did you get a look at the guy? That must have been him," Howie said, biting his lip.

"God, he's sneaky…"

AJ shook his head. "Couldn't see his face at all. The other altar boys gave him a funny look, too, but I was watching Brian so close, I just didn't think. Dammit."

Howie sighed, "you couldn't have known."

"Yeah, I guess. But…dammit."

"We'll catch him sooner or later, AJ, we have to."

"Not if he keeps pulling shit like this, Howie, we won't."

"We will," Nick said firmly, his eyes cold. "He went too far this time. He's fucking dead."

"I hope so. Because if we don't catch him?" Howie said sadly. "We're the dead ones."

***

Back at the hotel, Tara sat next to Nick on the couch, holding his hand in hers, looking at him closely. He'd refused to let go of her since the moment they'd arrived at the hospital, clinging to her, almost, as if he needed her touch. And although he hadn't said a word since they'd returned to the hotel room, she sensed something was going on in his head.

"Nick?" She said delicately, giving his hand a squeeze.

Nick turned to look at her, his blue eyes still bright with tears. "I really don't want to die," he said softly, his lower lip trembling.

"I know, Nicky…"

"I just…I was so sick of being in pain, you know?" He sniffled, and wiped his nose on the back of his hand. "I hurt, so much, I didn't want to hurt anymore. So I just stopped feeling."

"You can't do that, Nick, you have to feel," Tara said softly, running a hand along the side of his face. Her own eyes filled with tears when he gasped and turned his head into her palm, a tear falling onto her skin.

"You haven't touched me in days," he whispered, clutching her hand and holding it in place. "Nobody would touch me…"

"You kept pushing me away."

"I didn't know what else to do," Nick said sadly, pulling her hand over his cheek to his lips, and kissing it softly. "I want to feel again, Tara," he looked into her eyes, as he kissed her hand again. "Please? Make me feel again?" His voice was barely louder than a whisper as he asked the question, so terrified was he she was going to say no.

Tara's heart was pounding in her chest, as she stood up, nodding slowly. "Come on, Nick." She pulled him into the bedroom and pushed him down onto the bed on his back, smiling lightly.

"I love you, you know that, don't you?" Nick said as she crawled on top of him, his hands running through her hair and down her back. "Everything's just been so wrong, so scary…"

"I know," Tara murmured, before bending down and kissing him. She smiled into the kiss at the moan that left his throat, and pulled away, looking into his eyes. "Are you sure this is what you want, Nick?" She asked softly, one finger tracing across his cheek and down his neck.

"Please," Nick stared up at her, his eyes hazy. "I need you, Tara. Nobody else will touch me, or care about me… "

"I love you, Nick," Tara said, as she lowered her mouth to his neck, gently sucking on the soft skin. She took her time, determined to do exactly what Nick had requested….make him FEEL….kissing her way over his body. She removed his clothing, as she continued to cover his skin, kissing and licking, as her hands followed her mouth with gentle caresses. The further she went, the more labored Nick's breathing grew, which only served to encourage her all the more. The slower she went, the better, of that she was sure…after all, this would only be the second time they were together like this. That fact amazed her, in so many ways, she felt so close to him already, but….the more time she spent getting to know his body, the better.

By the time Tara had worked her way back up to Nick's neck, his eyes were closed, his mouth hanging open, and he was moaning with every breath. She could feel his hips gyrating slowly underneath hers, and knew she had done her job well. "Do you feel now, Nick?" She leaned forward to whisper into his ear, taking his earlobe into her mouth and sucking on it.

"Tara," Nick's voice sounded near tortured, and his hands grabbed at her hips, eagerly fumbling at the buckle of her pants. "I need to feel you."

"Shhhhh," she said soothingly, pulling his hands away from her. "I got it." She raised herself up onto her knees and undid her pants, quickly sliding them down. "Ready?"

Nick's eyes opened to slits to look at her, and he licked his lips before answering,

"ready."

Tara's heart nearly stopped beating at the expression on Nick's face, and she smiled widely. "Do you have any idea how sexy you are right now?" She asked him, bending down and kissing him passionately.

"No," he replied, grinding his hips into hers. "But you are…"

Tara chuckled softly, and sat up. "Sure I am." She raised herself onto her knees and carefully positioned herself over him, before lowering herself down. Her breath caught in her throat at the feeling of him filling her, and she sat still for a moment, composing herself. "God, I'd forgotten how good you felt," she gasped, bracing herself on his shoulders as she began to move on top of him.

Nick's hands ran over her back, before sliding down to her hips, helping her move up and down. His lower lip was held tightly between his teeth, his eyes squeezed shut in concentration, as his moans grew louder. "Oh god, Tara, baby," he gasped, his eyes flying open to meet hers. "I love you."

Tara leaned forward to kiss him, before replying, "I love you too." She cried out when she felt him shove up into her, and was thankful for his hands holding her in place, or else she was sure she would have gone flying.

"Tara, Tara, Tara," Nick repeated her name endlessly as he moved with her, until he was crying her name with every breath. His eyes grew wide as he reached his peak, and with one final push, he was lost, his head falling back in the pillows, his eyes closing, as he trembled with pleasure.

"Now, I bet you felt that," Tara said softly, leaning forward and kissing him. She felt him shudder underneath her, and smiled. "Yeah, ya did." She slowly slid off of him, gasping softly when she felt him slip out from inside of her.

"I did," Nick whispered, opening his eyes to look at her. "Thank you."

Tara's own eyes grew wide at the sight of the tear that began to roll down Nick's cheek, and she touched it lightly, concerned. "Nick, what now…"

"I can't believe how stupid I was," Nick pulled her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I love you, Tara, but I felt nothing. I know I love you."

"I know you do," Tara replied, kissing him. "Just don't stop feeling like that again, please?"

"If I do, now I know how to fix it," Nick smiled wryly, kissing her forehead. "Although, I think I'm the only one who felt anything just now."

"I felt a lot," Tara said softly, shaking her head.

"Yeah, but you didn't…."

"You're back, Nick, that's a hell of a lot more important," Tara interrupted him. "We can worry about me later."

"I think we should worry about you now," Nick argued, pushing her over onto her back and crawling on top of her. He kissed her deeply, running his tongue into her mouth.

"That ok?"

"That's just fine," Tara replied, smiling at him. "If you're sure, Nick, I mean, just this morning, you were…"

"Another man," It was Nick's turn to interrupt, and he covered her mouth with his finger.

"I woke up."

"Well, then, I'm glad you did," she replied.

"Me too," Nick bent his head down for another kiss, but pulled away when he heard a loud pounding on the door. "Jesus christ, what the fuck," he groaned, sitting up in bed with a frown.

"I think you're right, Nick, they only do this when you're sleeping with a girl," Tara said with a soft giggle.

"Stay here, I'll be right back," Nick got up and began searching for his clothes.

"No way," Tara shook her head quickly, jumping up and helping with the hunt for clothes. "I'm coming with you. No more disappearing, ok?" She handed him his boxers,

"put these on."

Nick pulled on his boxers, laughing when she put on his t-shirt. "Where's yours?"

"I like wearing yours," she said with a grin, taking his hand. "Come on, let's get the door."

They walked through the suite, hand in hand, pulling open the door to the room together. They let out a collective groan when they recognized the FBI Agent standing on the other side.

"What do YOU want?" Nick asked angrily, glaring at Palmer.

"I need to talk to Tara," Palmer gestured with her chin.

"It can wait," Nick replied, moving to close the door.

"It cannot," Palmer stepped inside, shoving the door wide open. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but this is important."

"Fine. Talk." Tara stood with her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes narrowed.

"We need to talk alone," Palmer said firmly, shooting a look at Nick. "You should come with me."

"Whatever you have to say to her, you can say in front of me," Nick said protectively, wrapping an arm around Tara's shoulder.

"You don't want to hear this, Nick," Palmer said, shaking her head. "Tara? Come with me."

"What the hell is this about?" Tara stood her ground, glaring at the agent. "You can say anything in front of Nick!"

"I think it's high time you started telling the truth here, Tara, and I have a feeling Nick isn't going to want to hear what you have to tell me," Palmer said harshly, returning the angry glare. "We got the print back that we found on Brian's action figure."

Tara rolled her eyes, "So? And?"

"And it belongs to your friend Andy."

Nick's face fell, and he let go of Tara, stepping away from her in shock. "What?" He whispered, looking at the agent in horror.

"No!" Tara exclaimed, staring at Nick. "Don't believe her, that's not possible!"

"As I said. I think Tara needs to start telling me the truth about her role in this game,"

Palmer grabbed Tara's hand, and yanked her out of the room. "If she's not in jail later, I'll bring her back to you, Nick."

Nick didn't reply, not knowing what to say. He leaned against the doorframe and watched as Palmer dragged Tara down the hall, stunned by the news. When they were gone, he walked back into the room, his face contorting as he absorbed what had just happened. He sat down on the bed he'd so recently vacated, and curled up in the sheets, shivering from head to toe. Tara couldn't be part of this…she wouldn't do this to him…or would she?

Maybe he was right in the first place. It was just easier not to feel.

***

Chapter 30

Palmer dragged Tara into a hotel room and roughly shoved her into a chair, her eyes blazing. "Now do you want to start telling me the truth about what you've been up to?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Tara returned the glare, unable to believe the way the woman was treating her. "I'm the one who's pieced this all together for them, not you."

"Because you knew about this from the beginning, sweetie," Palmer said matter-of-factly, pulling a chair in front of Tara's and sitting down. "So tell me. Where did you and Andy come up with this little plan?"

"There was no plan!" Tara said angrily, yanking the t-shirt down over her knees, trying to cover herself. The bitch could have let her put some clothes on, at least…

"Right. And I suppose we just found Andy's print on that action figure because…"

"It was wrong," Tara shot back. "Had to have been."

"Prints don't lie, baby."

"I'm not your baby," Tara retorted.

"No, you seem to have ended up as Nick's, which I'm assuming was part of your plan.

You're really determined to destroy him, aren't you? First you terrify him, then the rape, and now, god, Tara, how cold can you be," Palmer shook her head slowly. "The one person he trusts right now, turns out to be the one who's been doing this to him? He's going to completely fall apart."

"I'm not doing this to him!" Tara shouted, her eyes filling with tears. "How could you possibly think that? I love Nick, I would never hurt him!"

"Oh, bullshit," Palmer rolled her eyes. "You played the concerned girlfriend very well, mind you, but you know, I should have realized something was up. You were just a little too eager to help Nick out the night of the rape, weren't you."

"What?" Tara squeaked out, her mouth dropping open in disbelief.

Palmer looked at Tara, her eyes narrowed. "Pulling the dildo out of Nick. You had no problem doing that, did you. I thought, at the time, you were just being concerned, but you know, now? I think you enjoyed it."

"God, no," Tara choked out, disgusted by the suggestion. "That was awful!"

"But you did it. Didn't even need to be asked twice."

"Nick was in pain! I had to!"

"You wouldn't have had to if YOU didn't put it there."

Tara shuddered, and shook her head, "you know full well I couldn't have done that."

"No, but you set him up," Palmer said calmly. "Sure he just disappeared from the room with nothing more than a thud."

"He did!"

"Sure. Must have been a kinky thrill, having sex with Nick one minute, watching someone force that thing into his ass the next."

"Fuck you," Tara hissed, her face turning red. "That's sickening."

"Sickening, or erotic?" Palmer reached for a laptop on a table nearby, and turned it to face Tara. "Remember?" She ran the mouse over the screen and clicked, playing the movie of the events that night for her.

Tara nearly gagged at the sight, before turning her face away. "Turn it off."

"Come on, Tara, you like this, don't you?"

"TURN IT OFF!" She screamed, jumping out of the chair and backing away. When Palmer turned the volume up on the computer, Tara doubled over, covering her ears with her hands. "NO!" She began to cry in earnest, unable to take the sound of Nick's screams. "Stop it!"

"Fine," Palmer sighed, and shut the laptop, sitting back in her chair and looking at Tara evenly. "Now you want to talk?"

"I want to leave," Tara cried, tears rolling down her face. "How could you make me watch that? I LOVE HIM, don't you get it?"

"Sure you do."

"I don't have to stay here," Tara said, walking towards the door.

"Yes, you do," Palmer stood up and blocked her path, raising an eyebrow. "You don't want to leave now."

"Arrest me, then talk to me," Tara shoved Palmer, and continued walking. She stopped when she heard a metallic click behind her, her eyes widening.

"Turn around, Tara," Palmer said slowly.

Tara was hiccupping through her tears as she turned around, gasping at the sight of the gun pointed at her. "What the…"

"I can't let you go out there," Palmer gestured with the gun to the chair. "Sit back down."

"Why the fuck not?"

"Not until I am positive you are not going to harm Nick." Palmer looked at her, one eyebrow raised. "Now are you going to sit, or would you like me to make you."

Tara bit her lip, and sat down in the chair, her face contorting as she tried to stop her tears. "I wouldn't hurt him," she said softly, her eyes fixed on the gun.

"Sure," Palmer recocked the gun and put it back in her holster. "Didn't realize I carried a gun, did you?"

Tara shrugged, her eyes still wide.

"Trying to hit me like you did, that took balls, I'll admit," Palmer snorted. "Most people won't go after an FBI Agent like that. Not when they know that we all carry weapons. All the time."

"Guns don't scare me anymore," Tara sniffled, looking away from Palmer. "There are worse things, I know that now."

"What do you mean?"

"I think Nick would be much better off now if he'd just been shot. All of them, really. But this…this is torture," Tara began to cry again, and covered her face with her hands. "It's constant, never ending torture."

"That you and your friend Andy are causing."

"NO!!"

"So, let's talk about the other night, shall we?" Palmer continued, ignoring Tara's tears.

"About what?"

"Andy has an interesting alibi for the night we found the action figure in Brian's room."

"Interesting?" Tara asked, her eyes narrowing.

"Yes. You."

Tara nodded slowly, "I was on the phone with him when we heard the scream."

"Who called who?"

"I think I called him."

"Think?"

"I don't know, goddammit, I…god…" Tara wiped at her cheeks, and glared at Palmer.

"How the fuck could you make me see that again??"

"Still focused on that, are you?"

"You don't think I see that in my nightmares?" Tara asked angrily. "And what do you mean Andy's alibi? Oh god," her face paled as she realized what Palmer meant. "You arrested Andy?"

Palmer smiled wryly. "Of course."

"But he didn't do anything!"

"That's what he says."

Tara frowned, "what can I do to convince you I'm telling the truth?"

"I've been lied to by the best, Tara, I don't believe you, it's that simple," Palmer shrugged.

"Say whatever you want. I want proof, and the proof is stacking up against you."

"Like what?? So I know Andy. He didn't do this."

"You also said that it would be a good thing if someone killed the Backstreet Boys."

Tara's eyes widened, "I said that WHEN? Where??"

"At work."

Tara gasped, "jesus, I wasn't serious! Tommy said it too!"

"Sure you weren't."

"Come on, I didn't like their music, I didn't know them then! Like you were such a fan before you met them?"

"This isn't about me."

"It was just an innocent comment!"

"Funny you'd use the word 'innocent.'"

Tara groaned, and sat back in the chair. "You're reaching for things to say now, aren't you."

Palmer made a face. "Your friend Andy. He a Backstreet Boys fan too? Or did he want them to die as well?"

"Andy loves them. He's never said a bad word about any of them," Tara said firmly.

"Who's his favorite?"

"AJ."

"Funny, AJ was the first one to get hurt…"

Tara just bit her lip and didn't say a word, tears slowly running down her face.

"All right, Tara, I suppose we're done here," Palmer sighed heavily. "Truth be told, your friend Andy was taken in for questioning, and released. But we're investigating you, and him, extremely thoroughly at the moment, and I DO NOT like the fact that you are staying with Nick."

"I love him," Tara mumbled, her lower lip trembling.

"So you say. I won't tell them to get rid of you just now, we'll be in LA day after tomorrow anyway, and I'm assuming you'll be staying at home then. Just, watch your back, Tara, because I'm going to be watching you very carefully."

Tara stood up, and shook her head slowly. "You don't even care that you're wrong, do you. You just want someone to blame."

"No, I want justice, Tara, and I want to catch the people doing this. I also think that you're one of those people," Palmer replied evenly. "I just hope Nick doesn't fall completely to pieces when he finds that out."

"I'm leaving. Now." Tara said angrily.

"Fine. Just remember. I'll be watching you."

***

Tara walked slowly down the hallway, trying to compose herself before she got back to the room. The image of Nick on that computer screen was stuck in her head, his screams still ringing in her ears, and as much as she tried, she couldn't control her tears. She didn't think she would be able to, either, until she saw him and reassured herself that he was all right. Sniffling loudly, she knocked on the door to their room, hoping Nick hadn't been convinced by Palmer's accusations.

Nick slowly pulled the door open, and stood in the doorway, looking at Tara with narrowed eyes. "You talk to her?"

"I did," Tara only cried harder at the sight of him, and she covered her face with her hands, embarrassed by her emotional state. "Nick, she thinks that I did this!"

"Did you?" He asked angrily, refusing to budge from his spot.

Tara was shocked enough by the question that she stopped sobbing for a moment, staring at him. "NO!"

"What about your friend Andy?"

"He loves you guys! He'd never hurt any of you!" Tara insisted, her eyes wide. "God, Nick, don't believe Palmer, she doesn't know what she's talking about!"

"She's an FBI Agent, Tara, I'm sure she knows…"

"I LOVE YOU!" Tara shouted, shaking from fear that he wouldn't believe her. "I would never, ever do anything to hurt you!"

"What about the fingerprint, then?" Nick was clearly shaken by how upset Tara was, but he needed some answers before he would fully accept she was telling the truth.

"I don't know," Tara sniffled, and shook her head. "Someone must have taken it from him, I don't know…"

Nick raised an eyebrow doubtfully. "Who?"

Tara looked at Nick for a moment, before gasping. "Jessica."

"Who?"

"Oh god, Nick, Jessica!"

"The girl who does our website?" Nick looked at her dimly. "Why would she do this?"

"She has more of a reason than Andy does, and she could have gotten to the action figure!" Tara stared at Nick, tears still rolling down her face. "Nicky, I didn't do this to you."

"Why are you so upset, then?"

Tara bit her lip, fighting back a sob. "Because she made me watch."

"Watch what?"

"You," the word came out as a strangled sob, as her tears continued to pour.

Nick couldn't just stand there any longer, he pulled Tara into the room, wrapping his arms around her protectively. "Oh, baby," he whispered, walking her to the couch and sitting her down. "She made you watch it?"

"Yes," Tara cried, burying her head in Nick's chest. "Then she asked me, the most awful things, Nick, I wouldn't have done this!"

"I believe you, Tara, I do," Nick kissed her forehead and sighed. "I can't believe anyone's this good of an actress."

"I can't act," Tara said wryly, before sniffling loudly. "I just kinda fell apart, with the stuff she was asking me."

"Like what?"

"I can't say it, please don't make me," she said softly, shaking her head. "Just believe me when I say none of it's true."

"And you think it's Jessica?"

"I don't know? I just know it's not me," Tara shuddered, and slipped her arms around his waist, snuggling close to him. "I love you, Nicky, I am so glad I found you, and I would never, EVER hurt you."

"I know, baby," Nick ran a hand through her hair, and kissed her again. "I don't know exactly why I'm so sure I know, but I do."

"It's Jessica. Same thing, I don't know how I know, but," Tara pulled away from him slightly to look into his eyes. "I do. I've never liked her, or trusted her, and I really think it's her."

"If it is her, Tara, we'll get her, then," Nick said firmly, cupping her face in his hand.

"We'll deliver her to Palmer on a plate."

Tara snorted, and rolled her eyes. "Good. Because I don't think Palmer will believe it's her otherwise."

"We'll prove it. Somehow, we will," Nick felt her shudder again, and pulled her closer to him. "We have to."

"Yeah," Tara agreed. "We definitely have to." With the FBI beating down the wrong path? Yeah, they'd have to do it themselves.

So they would.

***

Chapter 31

The next morning, Tara awoke to the feeling of a hand gently rubbing over her back. She opened her eyes and smiled, seeing Nick watching her closely. "Morning," she said softly, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck.

"Morning," Nick replied, bending down to kiss her lightly. "You snore," he remarked with a small giggle.

"Oh, shut up," she laughed, shaking her head. "What are you doing awake, anyway?

Didn't you sleep?"

"Well, it's morning, so it makes sense that I would be awake," Nick told her, gesturing to the light streaming in the windows.

"Did you sleep, though?" She asked, her expression growing serious.

Nick shrugged, and got out of bed, stretching his arms in the air. "Somewhat," he replied, fighting back a yawn.

"Nick," Tara stood up and hugged him from behind, pressing a kiss to his back. "You need to sleep."

"I slept more than I've slept in a while, isn't that something?" He shrugged off her arms and walked into the main room of the suite, grabbing the room service menu off of a table. "Want breakfast?"

Tara's eyes widened, and she grinned. "Hungry?"

"Yes," he replied, returning her grin. "I feel like I haven't eaten in ages."

"Probably because you haven't," she laughed. "I'm going to take a shower."

"Don't you want?"

"Order me something, I don't care."

"Ok." Nick examined the menu closely, before picking up the phone and ordering.

An hour later, Nick and Tara were freshly showered, and surrounded by empty room service trays. Nick was slumped down in a chair, his hand over his stomach. "I don't feel so good," he mumbled with a groan.

"Aww, poor Nicky," Tara said soothingly. "You didn't eat for so long, it's no wonder your tummy has issues with the amount you just plowed through."

"Yeah, well, I was hungry," he grumbled.

"Come here," Tara grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the couch, pushing him down and snuggling up against him. She slid a hand under his shirt and rubbed his stomach slowly, gently pressing on the soft skin. "Feel any better?"

"Still hurts," Nick pouted, looking at her with puppy dog eyes.

Tara fought back a laugh at the expression on Nick's face, and bent down, kissing his stomach. "My mom always said, kiss it, and you'll make it all better."

"Lower."

Tara did laugh that time, and she sat up, making a face at him. "Well, yes, Nick, I imagine that would make you feel better."

"Much better," he grinned. "But you can keep rubbing my tummy too."

"That I can do," she said, smiling at him as her hand continued to run circles over his stomach.

"We gotta talk anyway," Nick said slowly, biting his lip. "I want to know what you meant about Jessica."

"What I meant? I think she may be behind all of this."

"But why, I mean. You said she has a better reason than Andy. What's that?"

"Oh," Tara made a face, and sighed. "Well, she's said some pretty mean things to me about you guys, about how much you keep stuff private, stuff like that."

"We are pretty private, that's not mean," Nick gave a start when Tara's hand stopped moving, and shook his head. "Don't stop," he mumbled, smiling at her.

"Someone likes having their tummy rubbed, do they?" Tara said teasingly, leaning over and kissing him lightly.

"My tummy hurts," Nick replied, following up his answer with another pout. "See? Pain face."

"Cute face," she retorted, kissing him again. "But fine, forget the fact that my hand's falling asleep." She resumed her strokes across his stomach, laughing when Nick let out a contented moan.

"So what did Jessica say that was mean?" Nick asked, reminding her of their topic of conversation.

"Well, for one, she asked me if you'd hit me yet," Tara said cautiously.

Nick's eyes widened, and he looked at her, his brow wrinkling. "What?"

"She said you have one hell of a temper, and I should be careful."

Nick stared at her for a moment, before frowning. "You know I'd never hit you, don't you?"

Tara nodded, "don't worry, Nick, it's not like I'm taking anything she said seriously."

"Yes, I have a temper, and yeah, I guess I've gotten in a few fights in my life, but jesus,"

Nick made a face. "I would never, EVER hit a woman. Especially not someone I was in love with."

"I know, Nick," Tara said softly, bending down and kissing his stomach. "Feeling better yet?"

"Getting there," he smiled. "Just don't stop. What else did she say?"

"Not what she said, Andy said," Tara bit her lip, and sighed. "But he made me promise not to tell you."

"Why not?" Nick asked in astonishment. "You can tell me anything!"

"Because…." Tara's voice trailed off, and her hand stopped moving along Nick's stomach as she considered the ramifications of telling him.

"Tara," Nick's hand covered hers on his stomach, and he squeezed it lightly. "You can tell me."

"It's about one of the guys, though."

"Who'd she sleep with?" Nick asked, a harsh tone to his voice.

Tara's eyes widened, "what?"

"It has to be that," he sighed, and let her hand go, shaking his head. "We're not supposed to get involved with staff, that's a pretty serious offense, in management's opinion."

"Oh."

"So who?" Nick's eyes narrowed when she didn't reply, and he bent down to stare into her eyes. "He didn't say she slept with ME, did she? Because, I swear to god baby, I never, EVER…"

"No!" Tara interrupted, laughing at Nick's vehement argument. "I know, I know."

"Who, then? AJ? Howie?" Nick gasped, and shook his head angrily, "oh god, don't tell me she slept with Brian or Kevin, they're fucking married…"

Tara sighed, "Howie. But it's more than she just slept with him, from what Andy said. It sounds like she really fell for him, but he wanted to keep it quiet, and she got hurt."

"Of course he wanted to keep it quiet, she would have been off the tour if anyone found out," Nick said angrily, rolling his eyes. "Doesn't she understand that?"

"I didn't exactly ask her about it."

"Goddamn, Howie," Nick said softly, running a hand through his hair. "We gotta talk to him."

"No! Nick, please, no," Tara said quickly, shaking her head. "Andy said you'd kill Howie if you found out, please don't do that!"

"I'm not gonna kill him, although, fuck, how stupid could he have been," Nick said, frowning deeply. "But we need to know his side of things, if this really is her."

"I guess," Tara said softly.

"We're all heading to the hospital in a few, but maybe later, after we bring Brian back?"

Nick thought out loud, before letting out a groan. "Dammit, Howie!"

"Nick…"

He sighed, and nodded. "I know, I can't blame Howie, not if Gayle is still involved with this. THAT is all my fault."

"You can't blame yourself for that, either."

"Sure I can. Even Jessica knew I had a temper," Nick said angrily. "And why? Because I've taken a swing at someone just one too many times in my life."

"If this IS Jessica and Gayle, you couldn't have known Gayle would have gone overboard anymore than Howie could have known Jess would have," Tara said firmly. "Not to mention, I don't know what the deal is with this Gayle guy, if he'd been with Kevin before you, surely he knew you were in a group with Kevin. Did he ever mention it to you?"

Nick's eyes narrowed, and he shook his head slowly. "I never thought about that….no."

"So what was Gayle's agenda, then?"

"He said he was in love with me," he said softly. "I believed him."

"Maybe he was," Tara said, resuming her hand's movements over Nick's stomach. "Or maybe he was out for something else."

"What?"

"What he's getting now. Revenge."

"Against Kevin?"

"Maybe. His target just grew larger, and he got help."

"Maybe," Nick said doubtfully. "Maybe."

***

"How are you feeling?" Kevin asked, handing Brian a glass of water.

Brian smiled wryly, and shifted on the couch. He'd been discharged from the hospital just hours before, and had immediately returned to the hotel, his exhaustion apparent to everyone. "Been better."

"You gave all of us a scare," Kevin said softly, sitting down next to his cousin and looking at him closely. "I can't believe he got so close…"

"It's like he knows our schedule," AJ said angrily. "We're off tonight, we were off last night, and Brian will be ok to perform tomorrow night. Despite everything that's been going on, we've never missed a show. Pretty strange timing, isn't it?"

"Nice coincidence," Howie said softly.

"I don't think it's a coincidence at all," Nick said, sitting down across from Brian. He pulled Tara into his arms before continuing, "Tara thinks she knows who one of the people is doing this, and I think she's right."

"I heard Palmer took you in for questioning," Kevin looked at Tara, his eyes conveying no emotion at all. "I'm assuming she didn't find any answers, or else you wouldn't be here now."

"Tara didn't do this!" Nick said emphatically, glaring at Kevin. "How could you even think…"

"I don't know what to think anymore, Nick, a fucking priest poisoned my cousin!" Kevin shouted back, gesturing at Brian. "How the hell could that have happened?"

"We know how that happened," AJ said firmly.

"You know what I mean, Bone."

"Who do you think is doing this?" Howie asked, looking at Nick curiously.

Nick turned to look at Howie, and sighed. "Jessica."

Howie sat back in his seat, his face turning white. "Jessica?" He asked in a shaky voice.

"Why her?"

"Who's Jessica?" AJ asked, frowning at Howie. "And what's with you?"

"Ask Howie," Nick said angrily.

"Fuck," Howie cursed, running a hand through his hair. "She's unstable, yes, but, goddamn, you really think?"

"She said some stuff to Tara, and she has access to us," Nick explained. "Not to mention…you…"

"That was nearly a year ago," Howie said, shaking his head. "You really think so?"

"WHAT was nearly a year ago?" Kevin asked, staring at Howie. When the other man didn't reply, Kevin groaned, rolling his eyes. "Shit, Howie, you didn't…"

"You fucked her?" AJ asked, disbelief written all over his face. "She works for us, man, you know better!"

"Must you be so crude, AJ," Howie grumbled, making a face. "I genuinely cared about her, for a while there."

"But…."

"But, she's not the most stable of people, as I said. Things fell apart."

"And yet you still see her everyday here, and she's fine with that," AJ said doubtfully.

"I thought she was, yes."

"According to Andy, Jessica was in love with you," Tara said softly. "She was supposedly really hurt when you broke it off."

Howie sighed, "yeah. So she said."

"There's motive, and access," Kevin said, shooting a glare at Howie before continuing.

"What's Palmer say?"

"Palmer thinks Tara did this," Nick said with a frown. "We need to find proof that this is Jessica before telling Palmer, otherwise she'll think this is just Tara making stuff up.

Which she's not," he added firmly.

"So what do we do?" Brian asked softly. When everyone turned to stare at him, he laughed, "look, I'm tired, but I'm fine, you heard the doctor."

"Yeah, but you should take it easy for a while," Kevin insisted. "Let us play detective."

"Right, because getting up on stage tomorrow night is going to be very relaxing," Brian said sarcastically. "Let me help."

"I think we need to keep a very close eye on Jessica from now on," Kevin said, ignoring Brian's comment. "Where does she go, who does she talk to, all that kind of stuff."

"We'll be in LA tomorrow, she lives there, it might not be so easy," Howie said, frowning.

"You know where she lives?"

"Sure."

"Then we watch her."

Howie snorted, "what are we, detectives?"

"Looks like it, D."

Nick looked at Tara, and grinned. "Ok, so we may not have gotten Agent Scully in the first place, but it looks like I get to play Mulder. Wanna be my Scully now?"

Tara laughed, and kissed Nick. "For you, Nicky, I'll be anything."

***

Chapter 32

Tara sat in the van as it sped towards the hotel in LA, holding Nick's hand tight. "I want to go home at some point," she said softly, biting her lip as they passed her exit.

"I'm not quite sure if that's a good idea," Kevin said quickly, turning around to look at her. "Have you gotten any more phone calls?"

"She got one this morning," Nick answered for her, frowning deeply. "It's definitely not safe for you to go home," he told her, shaking his head.

"I don't see why it matters," she argued. "He's gotten to you guys absolutely everywhere, there's no reason to think he wouldn't be able to do the same for me."

"It's different now, Jessica will be staying at home…"

"So you think," Tara interrupted. "We don't know that for sure."

"We don't know anything for sure," Kevin said, looking at Tara. "But we're better off safe than sorry."

"I want to see Andy."

"Now THAT's not a good idea," it was Kevin's turn to frown. "Not when he could be in with Jess on this."

"He's not, that's insane! I need to talk to him, make sure he's ok! If the FBI did to him what Palmer did to me, I don't know what kind of shape he's in. He really loves you guys."

"What did Palmer do to you?" AJ asked, looking at her closely. "I know she asked you about if you were involved with this…"

"Palmer STILL thinks Tara's involved with this," Nick rolled his eyes. "A whole lot of fucking help she's doing."

"Hey, we're doing quite fine on our own now," Howie said cheerfully. Over the last 24

hours the group truly had made some progress on their 'investigation' into the threats and attacks on them. Tara had begun hacking the proxy IP that Tommy had given her weeks ago, and was pretty sure she would have a location on the computer with another few hours of work. AJ and Howie had been quizzing the tour staff about Jessica, and had found out that her grudge against the boys was fairly well-known among the staffers, to the point that many expressed their surprise that she had been included on this tour.

Nick had spent most of his time in the Backstreet Boys chatroom, talking to the girls online and figuring out whether or not any of them had disappeared as of late…he was still terrified that a fan had been hurt in all of this mess. He had been extremely relieved to learn that the answer to that question had been no.

"So what did she do?" AJ asked again.

"She was just really cruel," Tara made a face. "It was awful."

"Beyond awful, she had Tara near hysterical," Nick corrected her, nodding when AJ's eyes widened in surprise.

"How? What'd she do?"

"It's not important," Tara sighed. "Let's just say that the FBI and delicacy are at two different ends of the spectrum."

"Bitch," Nick muttered.

Tara gave a start when her cell phone began to ring, and she held it in her hands for a moment, before flipping it open, all eyes in the van on her. "Hello?"

"Tara? That you?"

Tara's eyes widened in surprise. "It's not him," she said quickly, before talking into the phone. "Tommy?"

"Hey! How you been?" He asked, sounding concerned. "You disappeared, you know?

I've been worried, with you getting axed and all, wanted to make sure you didn't go off the deep end or nothing."

"I'm fine. I have no idea what I'm going to do for a job, but I'm surviving, at least," she said with a shrug. "How are you? How's things at work?"

"Kinda nuts, this Backstreet stalker dude has everyone up in arms over here. The Feds grabbed all of our logs, searched our cubes, it's crazy."

"Searched your cubes?" Tara asked in astonishment. "Why?"

"They thought one of us might be involved, although I have no CLUE why. Oh! That reminds me, I think you did pack some of my stuff when you packed up yours. I miss my toys, you know," he said with a soft laugh.

"I'll go through it, see what I have that's yours."

"Who knows, maybe you accidentally packed the stalker dude in there too," he joked.

Tara frowned, and stared out the window for a moment, before replying, "that's a strange thing to say."

"What can I say, I'm having my doubts that he's real. I mean, they can't seem to find shit, it's pretty funny. Or maybe the FBI's just that incompetent."

"I think they're just that incompetent."

Nick looked at her curiously, and mouthed "who?"

"The FBI," she explained.

"Who's that?" Tommy asked.

"Friend."

"Oooh, lose the job, get a boyfriend?"

Tara laughed, "it didn't quite work that way, no."

"Well, look, don't be a stranger, ok? I miss seeing you every day."

"I miss you too."

"Talk to you soon?"

"Yeah, I'll call you as soon as I go through my stuff."

"Ok. Take care, babe."

"Talk to you later, Tommy."

***

"How's it coming?"

Tara jumped at the sound of Nick's voice, surprised by his presence. "Damn, Nick, you could be louder, you know," she grumbled, turning around on her chair to face him.

"Just a little deep in concentration, are you?" Nick walked to her and gave her a kiss, before plopping down on the couch.

"Yes. Very," Tara replied. She had spent the night continuing to fight her way through the proxy, while the guys did their concert. "How was the show?"

"Not bad, all things considered," Nick shrugged. "Brian's still kind of a mess. They're all coming over once they drop their stuff off in their rooms to hang for a bit."

"You're all still kind of a mess," Tara remarked, getting up and joining Nick on the couch.

"How are you doing?"

"Been better," he admitted, smiling lightly when she ran her hand along his cheek. "I am glad you're here though."

"I do want to go home…."

"I wish you'd stop saying that!" Nick said harshly, grabbing her hand and yanking her towards him. "Why don't you get that there could be someone at your apartment who wants to kill you?"

"I get that!" Tara argued.

"Then why are you so determined to go?"

"Because this guy could get me just as well here as he could at home!" She said angrily.

"Because Tommy said there could be something from work that could be a hint about this guy, the FBI went through all of the cubicles, they think there's something there!"

"What do you mean, something from work?" Nick frowned. "You can't go to work anymore…"

"No, but I packed up everything I had there in my cubicle, probably including a lot of stuff that wasn't really mine. I want to see what I brought home."

"Tara, I don't want you getting hurt," Nick said softly, biting his lip. "I don't know what I'd do."

"I'm not going to get hurt…"

"You don't know that!" He shouted, his eyes growing bright. "I swear to god Tara, I couldn't take it. Not with everything that's happened, I couldn't handle it, not falling in love and losing it all because of something stupid I did three fucking years ago!"

"Nothing's going to happen!"

"What stupid thing did you do three years ago?" Kevin's voice broke into their argument like a knife.

Nick jumped up, turning to look at Kevin standing in the doorway. "Ever heard of knocking?"

"What did you do three years ago, Nick?" He repeated, walking into the room and crossing his arms. "Nick?" He turned to look as AJ, Howie and Brian all shuffled into the room, before returning his glare to Nick.

"Gayle," Nick shrugged nonchalantly. "You know."

"No, I don't know," Kevin shook his head. "Sure sounded to me like you were hinting at something other than just a relationship gone sour."

"It's nothing," he shrugged again.

"Nick, you need to tell them," Tara said softly.

"Tell us what?" AJ asked, frowning at the tension between Kevin and Nick. "What's going on?"

"I'm going to go into the other room and order some coffee. Anyone want anything?"

Tara asked, looking around the room. When nobody replied, she left the room, figuring the guys could use some time alone. She also really did desperately need coffee, she was going to have a long night ahead of her if she intended to ever finish hacking that proxy.

"What's up, Nick?" Brian asked, taking the seat vacated by Tara on the couch.

"I think Nick has something to tell us," Kevin's eyes narrowed as he continued to stare at Nick.

"Hey, take it easy on Nicky," Howie said, looking back and forth from Nick to Kevin.

"He's just starting to…"

"Was your mother right, Nick? Did you cause this?" Kevin interrupted Howie, not even hearing his words.

"Goddamn, Kevin, that was uncalled for!" Brian's mouth dropped open at his cousin's accusation, and he touched Nick's shoulder gently, frowning when the younger man flinched. "Nick, this isn't your fault."

"Yes, it is," Nick said softly, pulling away from Brian. "All of this is my fault."

"What, because you dated some wacko guy once? Not your fault you have lousy taste in men," AJ snickered. "Better stick to girls from now on, you seem to have better taste there."

"Well, he does now," Brian added with a wry smile.

"Stop joking around, I'm not kidding," Nick sighed. "Kevin's right, I caused this."

"How?"

"When Gayle and I broke up," Nick paused, and took a deep breath. "We didn't just break up. We fought. A lot."

"So? Lots of couples fight when they break up, Nicky, that's no big deal," Howie shrugged. "That's understandable."

"I kind of," Nick bit his lip, and frowned. "I beat the shit out of him."

AJ laughed, "Nick, you couldn't beat the shit out of anyone."

"Explain," Kevin said firmly, still glaring at Nick.

"I told you! I beat the shit out of him!" Nick looked at Kevin, his eyes narrowed. "What more do you want from me?"

"Define 'the shit," Kevin shot back. "I've been on the receiving end of your swings, Nick, they're not gonna do that much damage."

"Yeah, well, I never went off on you the way I did on him," Nick replied, running his hand through his hair. "I never really stuck around to find out what kind of damage I'd done to him, but, I know he was in pretty bad shape."

"Like what? Broken nose? Broken ribs? What did you do that was so awful?" Kevin asked, frowning when Nick didn't reply. "Look, you don't go around terrorizing people because someone beat you up once!"

"I had a tire iron," Nick mumbled, staring at the floor in front of him.

Kevin's eyes widened, and his mouth dropped open. "What?"

"I didn't hit him with my fists, ok? I had a fucking tire iron, and I hit him with THAT,"

Nick said angrily, his eyes filling with tears. "It was in the trunk of my car, I grabbed it when he kept fighting me off. The second I hit him with that he went down, and I just kept hitting him…."

"Oh god, Nicky," Brian breathed, staring at his friend in horror. "What did you do to this guy?"

"As I said. I didn't stick around to find out," Nick replied, hanging his head. "He was unconscious when I left. That was the last time I saw him."

"You could have killed him!"

"Well, clearly I didn't," Nick looked up when Tara walked back into the room, a sad expression on his face. "I told them."

"Good," she said softly.

"A tire iron, Nick?" Howie repeated in amazement. "How could you?"

"What?" Tara asked, looking at Nick, confused. "What did you tell them?"

"I kinda left that out when I told you," he sighed, and looked at her sadly. "That's why he was in such bad shape."

"Oh," Tara continued to stare at Nick, not knowing what to say. That was one thing she hadn't expected to hear. A fist fight was one thing, but…a tire iron? She jumped at the knock on the door, and scrambled to get it, "that's my coffee."

"I wonder if we would have been better off if he had died," Nick sighed, and slumped down in the couch. "At least then he wouldn't be torturing us now…"

"Yeah, instead you'd be in prison for life, wouldn't that be good," AJ rolled his eyes.

"Jesus, Nick, a fucking tire iron?"

"Yes! A fucking tire iron! Ok?" Nick stood up, and looked at the stunned faces in the room, shaking his head. "I am SO goddamn sorry I ever did it, but jesus, I didn't know what else to do at the time. He wouldn't shut up!"

"So you shut him up but good," Kevin said angrily. "And now we're all paying for it."

"Goddammit," Nick grumbled, walking to where Tara was sitting at the table and sitting across from her. "You know I'm not really like that, right?"

"I do, Nick, but, god," she sighed, and stirred her coffee. "A tire iron?"

"Can you all please stop repeating that?"

"It's just," she picked up the sugar canister and poured some into her coffee, sighing heavily. "That's pretty bad, you know?" She set the sugar back down in front of her, frowning at Nick.

"Yes, I know!"

"That's all…." Her words trailed off when she saw something bubbling in the sugar, and she leaned forward, her eyes narrowing as she looked at it closely. She reached out to pick it up again, frowning at the bubbles. "What the…."

Tara was never able to finish her sentence, as the sugar canister exploded, sending thick pieces of glass flying around the room. The majority of the glass hit her square in the head, sending her flying to the floor amid the sound of screams.

"Oh god!" Nick gasped in horror, dropping to his knees next to Tara. "Baby? Are you ok?"

"What the hell was that?" One of the rent-a-cops stuck his head in the room, his eyes widening when he saw Tara unconscious on the floor. "Calling an ambulance now."

"Good!" Kevin jumped up and ran to Nick's side, bending down to look at Tara. "She's breathing, Nicky, that's something…"

"She's bleeding, though, oh god, all over," Nick's eyes filled with tears, and he pulled her into his arms, hugging her. "What was that, oh god, oh god," he repeated, rocking back and forth.

"You're bleeding too, Nick, are you ok?" Howie asked, staring at Nick in horror. The blonde's hands were covered with blood, as was Tara's face, and one of her hands.

"Tara, talk to me," Nick touched her face, totally oblivious to the glass imbedded in his hands.

"The sugar thing exploded," AJ said, looking at the metal bottom still sitting on the table.

"Dunno how…"

"I didn't mean to do this, not ever, please, I swear I'll never get in another fight as long as I live, just please be ok," Nick began to cry, and he buried his face in Tara's neck, holding her tight.

"The ambulance will be here in a minute, Nick," Kevin told him firmly. "She'll be all right."

"You don't know that!" Nick shouted, tears running down his face as he stared at Tara.

"What have I done?"

Brian's face was completely white, and he hadn't moved from his spot on the couch, where he sat, trembling. "Nicky, you're bleeding," he said in a shaky voice.

"So's she!"

"Brian? Are YOU ok?" AJ asked, noticing the way Brian was acting.

Brian nodded slowly, his eyes fixed on Nick. "Something just exploded," he said in a daze.

"Yeah, the sugar thing."

"One minute everything was fine, then just…bang."

"Yeah. Bang."

"She's right. She wasn't safe anywhere," Nick groaned when he tried to pull Tara onto his lap, finally noticing the glass in his hands when pain shot through them. "Oh shit."

"Nick, you need to calm down," Kevin said softly, looking at Nick closely. "The ambulance will be here soon."

"It better be," Nick replied, looking up at Kevin through tears. "I need her, Kevin, I can't lose her over something stupid I did!"

"You won't, Nick," he reassured the shaking blonde, touching his shoulder. "Calm down."

"I can't, I can't," Nick bent down to kiss Tara's forehead, ignoring the lightheadness he felt from his movements. "I love you, Tara, you have to be ok."

"She will be, Nick."

"So where's that fucking ambulance?" He shouted, sitting up straight and looking wildly around the room. "WHERE?"

"Nick, you were hurt too, you gotta calm down," Kevin tried, but Nick wasn't hearing it.

"TARA!" Nick screamed, the shaking getting worse as he continued to rock back and forth with her. "Baby, please wake up!"

"Nick!" Kevin's eyes widened when he saw Nick's movements falter, and he reached out to grab him. "Maybe you should lie down?"

"No! I'm, I'm," Nick's eyelids fluttered, and he looked at Kevin in confusion for a moment. "Fine," he said weakly.

"You're not fine, calm down!"

"Just need an ambulance," Nick's voice became soft, and his head drooped as he stared at Tara. "Baby? Wake up?" He asked pitifully, a sob catching the words in his throat.

"Please?"

"Where is the ambulance?" Kevin got up and shouted into the hall, frowning when he was only told it would be there soon. "Well, hurry it up!" He barked, returning to find Nick slumped over Tara, his head on her chest. "What happened?" He stared at AJ, who was rubbing Nick's back, trying to get a reaction from him.

"He just keeled over," AJ said, his eyes wide with panic. "Passed out right on top of her."

"Oh god," Kevin gasped, biting his lip as he looked around the room.

Howie walked over to Nick, shaking his head. "Not to sound repetitive or anything, but, god, where IS that ambulance?"

***

Chapter 33

"We have been spending far too much time sitting in hospital waiting rooms lately,"

Kevin said wryly, as he tried to patiently wait for news on Nick and Tara.

"They all look the same though, you ever noticed?" AJ remarked, picking up a magazine from the table. "Same magazines, same tacky chairs, same wallpaper."

"Why is it taking so long?" Brian asked softly, ignoring AJ's ramblings. "Shouldn't they be able to tell us something by now?" The color had returned to Brian's face, somewhat, since the explosion in the hotel room, but his mood was still strangely subdued.

"I'm sure a doctor will be out soon," Kevin said reassuringly.

"Nicky's going to be all right, you saw, he just got his hands cut up," Howie said confidently.

"What about Tara?" Brian asked, looking at Howie. "She looked awful."

Howie pursed his lips, and shook his head slowly. "I don't know about Tara."

"She was only trying to help us," Brian said sadly, running a hand through his hair.

"What if we went and got her killed? What do we do? She was just trying to help."

"Tara's going to be fine," Kevin said, looking at his cousin closely. "Brian, maybe you should go back to the hotel, get some rest? We can call you when we have some news?"

"No!" Brian said sharply, appearing insulted by the suggestion. "My best friend is in here, I'm not going anywhere!"

"I just want to make sure you're all right too…."

"I'm fine," Brian insisted. "I just want to hear that Nick…and Tara…are going to be ok."

"Nick Carter?" A doctor walked out from behind a pair of swinging doors, looking at the group expectantly. He smiled wryly when they all jumped up to run to him, "your friend will be just fine."

"Really?" Brian asked, sighing with relief. "Thank god."

"He's getting a few stitches on his hands from the glass shards we had to pull out, but I see no reason why you can't take him home tonight. He'll most likely be out in a few minutes."

"If Nick is so fine, why did he pass out before, then?" AJ asked, his eyes narrowed. "He just conked out."

"Nick lost a fair amount of blood due to the cuts in his hands, but I suspect he most likely passed out from shock," the doctor explained. "From what he has told us, he was in rather poor condition already, that, on top of the shock, is probably why he fainted. It is important that he sleeps and eats normally from here on out, his body needs its strength to recover properly from this."

"A lot has happened to Nick over the past couple of weeks, I don't know if anyone could remain all that strong given what's been going on," Howie said softly.

"Yes, he explained that to us, as he was in some pain from those stitches," the doctor nodded. "I understand it has been difficult for him, but he still will need his strength."

"He's been getting better," Kevin said, looking at the doctor. "Much better, lately."

"His nerves are still extremely frayed, as you will see when he is discharged," the doctor sighed heavily.

"What do you mean?" Brian asked, his eyes widening.

"The moment Nick awoke, he asked about the condition of the young woman who accompanied him, Tara? A nurse told him what she knew of her condition, and he became hysterical. I'm afraid we had to sedate him."

"Sedate him?"

"We could not risk having Nick rip his stitches, either those in his hands or," the doctor made a face, "elsewhere. The sedation should keep him somewhat subdued until the morning, at which time I hope he will be in a better mindset."

"What about Tara? Why did Nick get hysterical?" Kevin asked, his eyes narrowed. "She was breathing, she can't have…."

"No, she is alive," the doctor said quickly, smiling wryly when Kevin sighed with relief.

"However, her condition as of yet is still uncertain."

"What's uncertain mean?" Brian asked quickly, his face losing what little color it had regained over the past few hours.

"Tara took the majority of the force of the blast to her head, and as such, I suspect she has a rather severe concussion. She has not regained consciousness, and we are currently working to control the bleeding from her wounds before we can do a CT scan and definitively find out how much damage was done."

"Oh god," Brian gasped, covering his mouth with his hand.

"Hopefully, she will wake up within the next couple of hours, and we will be better able to assess her condition then."

"So you're telling us you don't know how she is," Kevin said grimly.

"I am telling you that she is alive," the doctor said solemnly. "Beyond that, I cannot say as of yet. She has lost a lot of blood, even superficial head wounds tend to bleed quite a lot, and it is impossible to truly evaluate her condition while she is unconscious."

"Jesus, no wonder Nick lost it," AJ sighed, and shook his head. "Poor Nicky…"

"I'm fine."

The group turned around at the weak voice behind them, all of them smiling at the sight of Nick being rolled out in a wheelchair.

"Thank god you're all right," Brian said, running to his best friend and bending down to give him a hug. "How do you feel?"

"Fuzzy," Nick said, returning the smile lightly. "Did they tell you about Tara?" He slurred the question as he raised his head to look at the group.

"They just did," Kevin said softly. "Are you ok?"

"No," he replied, his lower lip trembling as he looked at Kevin. "She's in bad shape, Kev, and it's all my fault." He ran a hand over his head, frowning when he was unable to catch his hair between his fingers with the thick bandages covering his hands.

"It's not your fault, Nicky, nobody thinks that," Howie said quickly, shaking his head.

"I think that," Nick told him, frowning. "They wanna make me go back to the hotel, but I wanna stay here with her…can you make them let me stay here?" He asked, his eyes meeting Kevin's. "Please?"

Kevin turned to look at the doctor, sighing when the man shook his head no. "I think you should get some sleep back at the hotel tonight, Nick."

"I'm not gonna sleep," Nick tried to sound forceful, making a face when he found himself unable to summon the strength to properly argue. "No matter how much they drug me, I still know what's happened."

"He's got a point," Kevin said, looking at the doctor again.

"I love her, don't make me leave her," Nick begged, struggling to stand up. He took a shaky step towards the doctor, "please don't?"

The doctor sighed, and nodded. "All right. But you can't stay here alone, I do need someone watching you tonight."

"I'll stay," Kevin said quickly, before gesturing for Nick to get back in the wheelchair.

"We can keep this, right? Until he leaves?"

"Yes, I'd rather he stays in it as much as possible," the doctor nodded. "I will be back as soon as I have some more news for you, or when your friend is assigned a room."

"Thanks," Kevin said, watching the doctor leave. "Nick? You ok?"

The second the doctor had left Nick began to cry, looking near comical with his white wrapped hands covering his face. "No," he mumbled through the gauze, shaking his head. "Look what I did."

"She's gonna be ok, Nicky," Kevin said reassuringly. "All the doctor said was that he doesn't know."

"Not knowing sucks," he said bluntly, sniffling as he looked at Kevin. "When are we gonna know?"

"Soon, Nicky, soon."

***

Tara was assigned a room a few hours later, and Nick and Kevin settled in for the wait.

They spent the night watching Tara, with Nick whispering to her every few minutes, completely distraught over her condition.

"She looks awful," Nick said for the hundredth time, trying to touch Tara's hands through the thick bandages on his own. "And I can't even feel her through these things…"

"She's going to be all right," Kevin gave his standard answer, although he had to admit he was starting to wonder how truthful that answer was. Tara really did look awful. The top and back of her head, and one side of her face were encased in thick gauze, as was one of her hands up to her elbow. Her eyes peeked out from behind the gauze, puffy and swollen, and had begin to turn black and blue as night turned to morning. The side of her face that was exposed also began to turn black and blue, and was covered with small scrapes. She'd taken a beating from that sugar canister, that was undeniable.

"Can I take them off, you think? Just so I can touch her," Nick yanked on the gauze on his hands, frowning when it refused to budge. His coordination was slowly returning to normal as the effects of the sedative wore off, but he was still rather fuzzy, and his speech was still slurred.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Nick, you have stitches under there," Kevin said, fighting back a yawn. "Maybe you should try to get some sleep?"

"Can't," Nick's wheelchair was pulled up to the side of Tara's bed, and he rested his head on her stomach, staring up at her face. "Not until she's awake."

"I'm awake," Tara croaked, her eyes fluttering open to peer at Nick. "Nicky?"

"Tara?" Nick bolted upright in the wheelchair, and he leaned forward to stare into Tara's eyes, frowning when he saw them barely open. "Are you really awake?"

"My eyes won't open," she said weakly, raising a hand to touch him. "How's that, convince you I'm awake?"

"Your face is swollen," Nick said, touching her cheek lightly.

"So that's why I feel like someone over my head with a truck," Tara replied with a small laugh, before gasping in pain. "Shit," she touched her own face, feeling the gauze covering it. "Nick? What happened to me?" She asked, her voice sounding strangely scared.

"The sugar container exploded, do you remember?" Nick asked, watching as she struggled to open her eyes further to look at him. "Don't hurt yourself, baby."

"I'm gonna go get the doctor," Kevin told them, standing up and leaving the room.

"I want to see you," Tara said softly. "Who was that?"

"Kevin."

"He's here?"

"He stayed here with me last night," Nick said, taking her hand in his and squeezing it as well as he could with his bandages. "I wasn't gonna leave you."

"What's on your hands, Nicky? They feel funny," Tara pushed herself up to a sitting position, breathing heavily as she leaned back against the headboard. "Look funny too,"

she remarked, fighting to open her eyes enough to peer at his white hands.

"Same as what you got all over your head and face," Nick replied, bending down to kiss her hand. "I'm so glad you're awake, baby."

"I was asleep?"

"Knocked out, yeah," Nick sighed, and frowned. "That bastard got to you in our hotel room, just like you thought he would."

"You have to go get him, Nick, before anyone else gets hurt," Tara said, her eyes opening as wide as they could to stare at him. "You can't stay here."

"I can't leave you!" Nick argued, shaking his head. "Not when you're like this."

"Nick, he was going to threaten all of you, and then he was going to kill you," Tara said, yanking on his hand when he didn't reply. She winced in pain before telling him, "you know what that means!"

"I can't leave you," Nick repeated, looking at her. "Baby, this is my fault…"

"Then you need to make it right!" Tara argued, summoning all her strength to sound as stern as possible. "Look, Nicky, I'm not going anywhere. But if you don't do something, now, someone is going to die."

"I don't want to lose you…"

"And I don't want to lose YOU," Tara replied, looking into his eyes. "Understand me?"

Nick bit his lip, and nodded slowly, "you sure you'll be ok here by yourself?"

"Positive," Tara lay back down on the bed, and grimaced. "Not like I can exactly do anything anyway. If I could keep my eyes open, I could finish working on that proxy…maybe someone can drop it by?"

"I love you," Nick whispered, standing up to place a kiss on her forehead. "Still trying to help us, even when you're like this."

"I love you too, Kaos."

Nick sighed, and kissed her again, feeling like leaving her was going to be one of the hardest things he'd ever done. "Baby?"

"Yeah Nicky?"

He leaned forward to whisper in her ear, running a hand along the side of her face as he spoke. "I'm gonna go stop this guy, then we're gonna get you out of here. And then…" he paused to kiss her forehead again.

"Then what?" Tara asked, her voice sounding breathless.

"Then I'm going to make love to you until you can't see straight, and hold you all night long afterwards. I've never been able to hold you after, you realize that?" Nick sighed, and stood up, looking down at her sadly. "What a messed up relationship we've had."

"We'll make it right, Nick. Just go and get this guy. Jessica. Jessica's the key, I know it,"

Tara said firmly. "I'll be waiting for you right here."

"Better be. I'll be right back," Nick said, and turned to leave. "Wait," he turned back, and shook his head. "I don't want to say that, do I."

"Never say that," Tara agreed with a soft chuckle.

"So what do I say, then?"

"Just say I love you."

Nick smiled, and nodded. "I love you, Tara," he said softly.

Tara watched him leave, before collapsing back onto the pillows, squeezing her eyes tightly shut against the pain she felt in her head. "I love you too," she whispered, wishing she could be there by his side. "Please be safe. Please god, keep him safe."

***

Chapter 34

Nick and Kevin arrived back at the hotel to find AJ, Howie, and Brian gathered in one room, all discussing the best path to take to solve this mystery, once and for all.

"How's Tara?" Brian asked when he saw Nick walk in, his blue eyes wide with concern.

Nick sat down on the couch, slumping down into the cushions. "She's in pain, and can barely see, and…" he sniffled, and frowned. "It's all my fault."

"We're going to make this right. Now." Kevin said firmly, pulling out a pad and pen. "Ok, so let's figure out who's going to do what…"

"Wait, first, Palmer came by," AJ interrupted. "She said that blowing up the sugar container thingy was another one of those things that can be found on the Internet, not a really hard thing to do. So she says, anyway."

"Not a hard thing to do," Nick said dryly. "Great, it's real easy to find out how to blow up a sugar container."

"Wanna know how it was done?"

Nick rolled his eyes, and sighed. "Sure."

"A little jar filled with sulfuric acid, topped with a condom," AJ snickered, and grinned.

"A condom, cute, right? Anyway, that container was in the sugar container. When Tara picked it up to pour her sugar, the acid ate through the condom, it reacted with the sugar, and…bang."

"Cute," Kevin groaned, shaking his head. "So someone read how to do this online?"

"That's what Palmer said, yeah," AJ nodded. "The things you can find online…go fig."

"NOW can we figure out what we're gonna do today?" Kevin asked, looking around the room. "Why are you all up already anyway? It's pretty early."

"Couldn't sleep," Howie said softly. "We were worried about Nick and Tara, decided to just hang out until you got back."

"Gotcha." Kevin twirled the pen around his fingers, and took a deep breath. "Ok. So today."

"Tara had said that the FBI thought there was some proof of something or another at her office, she wanted to go through some stuff she'd brought home," Nick said, looking at Kevin. "I can go to her apartment, look at the stuff?"

Kevin nodded, and wrote that down. "That works. Maybe I should talk to her friend from work, then? See what he knows?"

"Tommy," Nick agreed. "Tara's cell phone in still in our room, the number's stored, you can call him to let him know you're coming."

"Cool," Kevin nibbled on the end of the pen before turning to Howie. "You want to finish up quizzing people around here about Jessica?"

"Will do," Howie nodded. "There are still some people I have yet to talk to."

"Hit up Philly, he seems to always know who's doing what around here," AJ suggested.

"Bone, you and Brian want to hold down the fort here? Go on the computer, see what's up there, and we'll call in to you with news?"

"Tara needs her laptop," Nick said, smiling lightly at the funny looks that suggestion received. "She's amazing, she's in so much pain, but she still wants to finish her hacking."

"So Brian and I can go drop it off after we check out things online," AJ said. "Unless you want to?"

"No, Nick should go to her place, I get the feeling if he goes to bring her the laptop, he'll never leave," Kevin said quickly, smiling wryly at the small nod that received from Nick.

"She's gonna be ok, you know."

"Yeah, I know. I still should be there," Nick said sadly. "So what do we do about our bodyguards and the Feds? Aren't they gonna wonder what we're doing, me going to Tara's, you going to Tommy's?"

"We are going to lose them, and go rent some cars," Kevin grinned. "Been a long time since we've had to sneak out, but I think I still know how to do it."

"How you gonna get into Tara's?" AJ asked, his eyes narrowing. "You can't just break in…"

"I'm gonna look for her keys in the room, otherwise I'll just ask Andy. She's said he lives next door, and has a key," Nick laughed lightly. "I think he'll let me in."

"Isn't he a fan?"

Nick nodded, and grinned. "Yup. Not like he won't recognize me."

"Just be careful," Kevin stood up and stretched, meeting everyone's eyes as he looked around the room. "That goes for everyone."

"This is the last day we got, Kev, Tara said it, if we don't catch him now, the next thing that happens is one of us dies," Nick said with a shudder. "Careful or not, we gotta figure out who's doing this, and stop them."

"We will, Kevin," Brian finally spoke, looking around the room with a new resolve in his eyes. "Nobody's dying, and nobody else is getting hurt. It ends today."

Howie nodded in agreement. "One way or another, this ends today."

***

"Tara? Wake up. Tara!"

Tara groaned when she felt someone shake her, her eyes slowly fluttering open. "What?"

She gasped when she recognized Jessica standing over her, and struggled to sit up.

"What are you doing here?"

"You have to get dressed, come on," Jessica was holding Tara's clothes, and held them out to her expectantly. When Tara just continued to stare at her, she yanked on her shoulder, "come on!"

"What are you talking about, I'm in the hospital," Tara said in confusion, her head too foggy to come up with a better argument. "I can't get dressed."

"Nick needs you, Tara, get up!" Jessica pleaded with her, her eyes wide.

"What do you mean, Nick needs me?" Tara's eyes widened as best they could with the bruises surrounding them, and she accepted her shirt from Jessica.

"Nick's hurt, he's been calling for you. Come on, I don't know how much time he has left!"

Tara gasped at the panic she saw on Jessica's face, and her eyes filled with tears. "Oh god, what happened?"

"There was an accident, the other guys are with him. Just hurry up!" Jessica slipped an arm around Tara and pulled her to a standing position. "Get your pants on."

"I can't," Tara said weakly, dizziness sweeping over her she looked down at her bare legs.

She fell back onto the bed, looking at Jessica helplessly. "I can't stand…"

"Goddammit," Jessica grumbled, throwing the pants at her. "Put these on, as best you can."

Tara pulled on the pants, watching as Jessica rolled a wheelchair over to her. "Nick left that here," she said softly.

"You want to see Nick before he dies? Get your ass into it now," Jessica said harshly.

"Oh god, oh god," Tara fought back a sob, and carefully stood up, pivoting before falling into the wheelchair. "What happened?"

"It's this creep who's been after them," Jessica explained as she roughly pushed the chair out of the room and down the hallway. "He got to Nick, and it's bad."

"No, god, not Nick," Tara could only watch as she was pushed through the hospital and out to the parking lot, until they were in front of Jessica's car.

"Can you get yourself in?" Jessica looked at her expectantly.

"I think so," Tara struggled to stand up, before gasping in pain. "Or not…"

"I got some pills for you, you can take them in the car. They'll make it easier on you once we get to Nick."

"Thanks," Tara said softly, biting her lip against the pain as she maneuvered herself into the front seat of the car.

"Here," Jessica got into the driver's seat and threw an unmarked pill bottle at her.

"They're Philly's migraine pills, he says they're really strong. Take two."

Tara was without the strength to argue, and she did as ordered, washing the pills down with the bottle of water Jessica handed her. "Where's Nick?"

"We're going there now."

"Hurry up?" Tara asked, wiping at a tear rolling down her face. "I have to get to him."

"That's why I came to get you, babe, you're gonna see him all right."

"Alive?"

Jessica smirked, and locked the car doors before pulling out of the parking lot. "For now."

***

Nick pulled up to the apartment building in the car he had rented and parked, looking at the apartments in front of him. "Now which one's Tara's, and which one's Andy's," he muttered, getting out of the car and examining the exteriors. He walked up the steps, trying to determine which door to knock on.

"HEY! That's Tara's spot!" A man came running out of one of the apartments, skidding to a halt at the sight of Nick. "You're, oh, jesus…"

"Are you Andy?" Nick asked, quickly walking to the man.

"Oh jesus," he repeated, before falling to the ground with a thud. He sat on his rear staring up at Nick, his brown eyes wide. "Nick?"

"You must be Andy," Nick laughed, and offered Andy a hand up. He hauled Andy off the ground, before asking, "you have a key to Tara's apartment, right?"

Andy nodded, still staring at Nick in awe.

"Ok, can you let me in, then?" Nick had to yank his hand out of Andy's, as the other man was still holding it tight, refusing to let go. "Andy?" He bent down to peer into the other man's eyes, frowning at his stunned reaction. "Helloooo?"

"You're Nick Carter," Andy finally said, staring into Nick's eyes.

"So I've been told."

"You've been sleeping with my Tara."

"Your Tara?" Nick asked, a smile crossing his face. "I thought AJ was your favorite?"

Andy blushed, and looked away meekly. "Oh, he is, but," he looked back at Nick with a grin. "You ain't bad either."

"Can you let me in to Tara's apartment?" Nick repeated, gesturing towards the door.

"Sure," Andy shrugged, and walked over to the door, before looking at Nick curiously.

"Although, why? Where is she?"

"She's in the hospital," Nick said, walking in the door after Andy had opened it. The man followed on his heels, and he explained why he was there, and what had happened to Tara, as he searched the apartment for the things from Tara's office.

"It's here," Andy picked up the box and placed it on a table, pulling off the top. "She hasn't looked in here since she got fired."

"So she told me," Nick said, bending down to peer at the contents. He laughed as he dug through stuffed animals and action figures, "she likes toys, huh."

"She's got a great toy now," Andy said appreciatively, looking Nick up and down.

Nick blushed, and shifted uncomfortably before returning his attention to the box. "AJ.

Save it for AJ," he muttered.

"There's more than enough of me to go around…"

"Oh man," Nick gasped, pulling a gold pen out of the box. "What's this?"

Andy's eyes narrowed, and he took the pen from Nick, shaking his head. "Not Tara's.

Maybe Tommy's?"

"Tara said Tommy went to Yale, that explains the graduation pen," Nick breathed, his eyes growing wide. "Oh damn…"

"Oooh, pictures," Andy pulled a stack of pictures from the box, and started going through them, giggling at them. "Look at Tara, doesn't she look so goofy here?"

"That's Jessica, right?" Nick pointed to the girl with Tara in the picture.

"Yup, Jess works for you guys."

"Yeah, I know."

"She went to Yale too, you know," Andy offered.

"She knows Tommy?" Nick asked, his face paling.

Andy shrugged. "Dunno? I think they were the same year, but Yale's a big school…"

"There a picture of Tommy in there?" Nick gestured to the pictures.

"I'm sure, lemme look," Andy shuffled through the pictures, pulling one out and handing it to Nick. "Here."

Nick let out a soft cry, and fell onto the floor, staring at the picture in horror. "Oh god."

"What?" Andy asked in astonishment, staring at Nick. "I know he's not the best looking man in the world, but Nick, he ain't THAT bad…"

"His name's not Tommy," Nick whispered, touching the picture with a finger. His face was different, new nose, new jaw, and his hair color had changed, but his eyes…Nick would never forget those eyes, not as long as he lived. "His name's Gayle."

***

Chapter 35

"Hey Philly," Howie found the road manager in the hotel restaurant, and slid into a seat across from him. "Got a few minutes to talk?"

Philly looked at Howie with trepidation, before nodding slowly. "Sure."

"I was just wondering," Howie looked at Philly closely before asking his question. "Well, I need to talk to you about Jessica."

Philly choked on his coffee, coughing as he set his cup down on the table. "Jessica?"

"You know her, right?"

Philly sighed. "I figured you were going to find out sooner or later. But, I want you to know I didn't start seeing her until you two were long over."

Howie's eyes widened, "what?"

"I'm just," Philly bit his lip, and made a face. "You don't want her back, do you? I mean, she's still hung up on you and all, but she's all I got. You of all people should understand what an amazing woman she is."

"You're kidding me," Howie stared at Philly in surprise. "You're sleeping with her?"

Philly returned the surprised look, "wait, that wasn't why you wanted to talk to me?"

"No, although I guess that's a good place to start," Howie chuckled, and shook his head.

"So how long have you been seeing her?"

"A few months?" Philly shrugged. "I was stunned when she started flirting with me, even more so when she told me YOU were her last boyfriend. But hey, like I was going to turn down a girl like that…"

"She stays in your room?"

"Most nights, yeah," he nodded. "I get a better room than her, higher floor and all, since I'm generally up with you guys."

Howie nodded slowly, "that's how she'd get on our floor."

"What?"

"Nothing." Howie bit his lip as he considered his next question. "So, here's another question for you. What do you do with our room keys when you get them?"

Philly's eyes narrowed, "that's a rather strange question to be asking me."

"Indulge me," Howie said flatly. "What do you do with them?"

"Put them in an ashtray on my dresser, always," he replied. "Otherwise I'd lose them."

"They stay there all night?"

Philly nodded, and looked at Howie curiously. "Yes, what are you getting at?"

"I'm not sure," Howie frowned. "What about Jessica? Do you spend all night with her, when she's in your room? Or does she come and go or something?"

"Now there's another strange question," Philly took another sip of his coffee, looking at Howie over the top of the mug.

"Does she?"

"Well, to be quite honest, yes, sometimes she leaves," Philly set the mug back down on the table with a heavy sigh. "I get rather bad migraines, the concerts tend to bring them on. So a lot of times after the show, we'll go back to my room, I'll take my migraine pills, and kind of conk out. Jess is young, she likes to stay up late and have fun. She'll go off and do her thing while I'll sleep. She's always there in the morning, though."

Howie groaned, and sat back in his chair. "I had an awful feeling you were going to say something like that."

"Like what?"

"Nothing," Howie stood up, and ran a hand through his hair. "I should go."

"What did I say?" Philly asked, his eyes growing wide. "Howie?"

"Nothing. Oh, but one thing," Howie looked down at the man, his eyes narrowing in anger. "You're fired."

"WHAT?" Philly stood up and glared at Howie. "What the fuck for?"

"Being insanely stupid," Howie replied, rolling his eyes. "How old are you, Philly? How old is Jessica? You really think she was sleeping with you because you're such an attractive man?"

"I don't like what you're insinuating," Philly shot back, squaring his shoulders. "I'll have you know I'm in very good shape for a man of my age…"

"I'm sure you are," Howie interrupted with a wave of his hand. "None the less, you as good as gave her our fucking keys. You're old enough to be her father, forchrissakes.

You're fired." And with that, he stormed from the restaurant, off to find Jessica and settle things once and for all.

***

"Anything?" Brian was sitting next to AJ in front of the computer, their eyes fixed on the Backstreet Boys chatroom.

"This one thinks you have a nice ass," AJ snickered, pointing to the screen.

Brian blushed, and pushed AJ's hand out of the way. "That's not what I'm talking about."

"Let's check the website," AJ laughed at Brian's discomfort as he clicked over to the website he'd bookmarked. His eyes narrowed when he saw a new diary entry was up.

"Yeah, something new," he clicked on the link, reading the lyrics at the top of the entry.

I got a little suspicious, I got a feeling

That you ain't true to me

I should have known better than to buy your lies

Your sweet disguise

You can fool anyone but I got eyes to see

That you're not for me, babe

"Not for me?" AJ frowned, and continued to read. "It starts today," he read, looking at Brian in confusion. "What do you think that means?"

"I don't know," Brian said softly, shaking his head. "Who lies to him?"

"He thought Nicky did, right?"

"Yeah, but Nick's at Tara's," Brian frowned deeply. "Did the chatters read this? What do they think?"

AJ clicked back to the chatroom, and asked the girls if they'd read the latest diary entry.

He gasped when he was told that the "hater" as they called him, had been in this morning, and told them he was going to start killing today. THAT was what "it starts today" meant.

"WHO is he killing today? How? Where?" Brian asked quickly, smacking at AJ to type faster.

They both gasped when the reply came back, all of the girls in complete agreement.

It was starting today. With Kevin.

***

Kevin got out of the car, looking at the condos in front of him. He checked the piece of paper where he'd written down the number Tommy had given him, and walked through the complex, searching for the right one. When he'd found it, he rang the doorbell, looking around him while he waited for Tommy to answer.

"You must be Kevin," a tall man wearing a pair of dark glasses opened the door, smiling widely at him.

Kevin nodded, smiling at the man. "Tommy?"

"Yup, come on in," Tommy waved Kevin in, the smile still plastered across his face.

"Good to meet you."

"You too," Kevin walked into the condo, watching as Tommy closed the door behind him.

"Forgive me for the sunglasses," Tommy walked through the house, gesturing for Kevin to follow. "I get migraines, the light hurts my eyes."

"No problem," Kevin replied, looking around the house as they walked. Was nice, neat, clean, almost obsessively so, he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen someone's house look THIS clean. Well, maybe Howie's, he thought with a small grin.

"We can talk down here," Tommy opened a doorway and waved Kevin through.

"Sure," Kevin took one step down the stairs, before he felt a kick in the small of his back.

He went tumbling down the rest of the staircase, landing in a heap at the bottom. "What the," he groaned, struggling to sit up as he felt a searing pain in his leg.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you fall?" Tommy said sarcastically, walking down the stairs to look at Kevin. "You really don't recognize me, do you?"

"Kevin?"

Kevin's head shot up at the weak voice calling his name, and he looked over to see Tara sitting on the floor, her back up against the wall in the corner of the room, "Tara?"

"It's him, Kevin, get out of here," she said, her words slurring as she struggled to look at him. "Go!"

"Yes, it's me," Tommy laughed, walking into the middle of the room and looking at Tara.

"You really had no idea."

"No." Tara said weakly, shaking her head. "I didn't know…"

Kevin tried to push himself off the floor, falling back with a groan when he was unable to get his legs under him. "Fuck."

"Aww, your leg hurt?" Tommy asked him, his eyes dancing with laughter. "Looks broken to me…"

Kevin looked down at his own leg, cringing at the sight. Yes, it was broken, he could see the bone pushing up against his skin. "What do you want?" He asked through gritted teeth, staring up at Tommy. Or was it Gayle?

"Revenge, Kevin, isn't that obvious?" Tommy pulled off the sunglasses, grinning at Kevin. "Revenge for what you put me through, for what your little blondie boy put me through, for what Howie put Jessica through. You all think you can get away with so much, just because you're beautiful. What bullshit that is."

"Tommy, don't do this," Tara pleaded, before gasping softly. "Get away from him," she said as sternly as she could, looking behind Kevin.

"What?" Kevin looked behind him, his eyes widening when he saw Jessica walking towards him, holding a knife. "You don't want to do this."

"Oh, yes I do," Jessica replied, and touched the edge of the knife with her finger.

"Secrets and lies, that's all you are." She walked over to Tara and sat down next to her, laughing when the other woman was unable to squirm away. "A little tired, are you?"

"Bitch," Tara muttered, jerking her head away when Jessica ran a hand through her hair.

"Leave me alone!"

"Don't hurt her!" Kevin shouted, watching as Jessica pressed the tip of the knife to Tara's stomach, cutting through the thin shirt she was wearing. "Jesus, haven't you hurt her enough?"

"I don't want to hurt her, Kevin," Tommy said evenly. "She's a good friend of mine. But I do want someone to watch you die, that was always my promise. Your wife was supposed to, but I can't find her. So Tara will just have to do…"

"And if Tara here decides to pass out, well," Jessica pushed the tip of the knife in, laughing at the soft scream that left Tara's throat. "I'll just have to wake her up."

"You gave me those pills, you bitch," Tara hissed, cursing her body for being so weak.

"Couldn't have you running away when you realized where you were, could I?"

"You can't do this," Kevin argued, trying again to stand up in vain. "Goddammit."

"Please. Of course I can," Tommy laughed. "Can't you see the headlines? Backstreet Boy killed by gay lover. It will destroy you all."

"Then you'll spend the rest of your life in jail."

Tommy shook his head, "nope." He pulled off his sunglasses and knelt down, looking Kevin in the eyes. "You didn't recognize me when you walked in the door. Recognize me now?"

Kevin's eyes narrowed as he looked at Tommy, his stomach churning. "Yes."

"I look pretty different, don't I," Tommy stood up and sighed. "Nick. That little prick, Nick. Do you have ANY idea what he did to me?"

"What he did to you was wrong, but…"

"But NOTHING!" Tommy interrupted, glaring at Kevin angrily. "Shattered my jaw, my nose, broken ribs, a broken arm, I spent SIX MONTHS in the hospital, Kevin. I had to have my face reconstructed. Do you understand what that means?"

"Tommy," Tara said, fighting the dizziness threatening to take her over. "Nick shouldn't have done that to you."

"Oh, shut up," Tommy whirled around to stare at Tara. "You're fucking him. What the hell do you know."

"I know he's a good person!"

"No good person would have done that," Tommy said angrily. "He destroyed me. So I wanted to destroy him. Let the whole world know little Nicky Carter liked getting it up the ass." He laughed wickedly, "they all know now, don't they…"

Tara let out a muffled scream, and squirmed against the wall, trying again to get away from Jessica. "Stop it…"

"When he's dead, I'll stop," Tommy walked to a table and picked up another knife, the blade glinting in the light. "Do you remember what I said I'd do to you?"

Kevin bit his lip, and shook his head, looking at the staircase behind him helplessly. If only he could get back up there.

"I was going to carve your tattoo into your skin, while your wife watched. I figure Tara works, she's sleeping with Nick, and all, although I suppose that's not going to happen much more either."

"STOP IT!" Tara screamed at the top of her lungs, crying out when Jessica jabbed the knife further into her skin.

"Stop it, you're going to kill her!" Kevin shouted, struggling to crawl over to Tara.

"You, yes," Tommy stepped on Kevin's hand, quickly stopping his movement. "Tara," he ground his heel on Kevin's hand as he shrugged. "Maybe."

"She needs to be in the hospital," Kevin gasped through the pain, breathing heavily when Tommy finally lifted his heel. "I'll stay. Let her go."

"Aww, a martyr, how sweet," Tommy laughed, and shook his head. "No."

"I…" Kevin's eyes widened when his cellphone began to ring, and he squirmed around on the floor, trying to get to the phone.

"I don't think so," Tommy kicked Kevin in the stomach before grabbing the cellphone away from him, turning it off and throwing it in the corner. "No phones."

"They're going to come looking for me," Kevin said, watching as his phone flew away from him.

"Too little, too late," Tommy shrugged. He looked up in surprise when there was a loud banging on the door. "Oh? What's that?"

"HELP US!" Tara screamed, before Jessica smacked her in the face, sending her sprawling onto her side on the floor.

The sound of the pounding just got louder, and Tommy sighed, rolling his eyes. "All right, all right, I'm coming." He looked at Jessica, and gestured to Kevin. "Watch him.

She's not going anywhere."

Jessica nodded. She walked to the table, putting down the bloody knife, and picking up a gun. She pointed it at Kevin with a smirk, "move, and die."

Kevin gulped, and watched as Tommy put his sunglasses on, before walking up the stairs.

"Now, who have we here," Tommy opened the door, grinning widely when he saw who was on the other side. "Well, well, well. Hello, Nick."

Nick kicked the door open, grabbing Tommy and throwing him up against the wall.

"Hello, Gayle," he hissed. "Remember me?"

***

Chapter 36

"He's not answering his phone," AJ said angrily, glaring at the cellphone in his hand.

"What good is Kevin carrying a cell phone if he's not going to answer?"

"Do you know Tommy's address?" Brian asked, his face white as a sheet, his body trembling. "We have to find him!"

"No, he took the paper he wrote it down on with him," AJ frowned, and shook his head.

"Shit, shit, shit, what do we do?"

"Tell the FBI?" Brian suggested.

AJ snorted, "what the fuck is Palmer gonna do? She doesn't know where Kevin is any more than we do."

"I don't KNOW," Brian shouted, beginning to panic. "All I know is some madman's out there trying to kill my cousin!"

"I know who it is," Howie ran into the room, out of breath. "I just met with Philly," he explained as he panted for air. "I was going to look for Jessica, when it hit me who the guy must be."

"WHO?" Brian ran to Howie, staring at him. "He's gonna kill Kevin today, spit it out!"

"Andy. It's gotta be, he's friends with Jessica, and I KNOW it's her," Howie said, his brow crinkling when Brian just stared at him dully. "What?"

"But…Nick went to Andy's."

"Oh shit," Howie gasped, patting his pockets for his cellphone. "Call Nick, stop him!"

"I got," AJ dialed quickly, lifting the phone to his ear. The two men watched him impatiently, as his eyes widened with hope, before narrowing in anger. "Jesus fucking christ, what is it with those two?"

"No answer?" Brian whispered, unable to believe how awful the situation had become.

"Nope," AJ closed the cellphone, before throwing it against the wall in anger. "FUCK!"

"Guys?" Marcus, AJ's bodyguard, stuck his head in the room, looking at them curiously.

"You all ok?"

"Just peachy," AJ said sarcastically.

"Ok," Marcus looked at AJ curiously, before shrugging. "Look, there's a guy by the elevator, says Nick sent him to talk to you. You wanna see him?"

"Who?" Brian asked hesitantly, shooting a worried look at Howie and AJ.

"Says his name's Andy. He said that Nick told him to show you guys this, that then you'd believe Nick really sent him," Marcus handed AJ a gold pen.

AJ gasped as he looked at the pen, his mouth dropping open. "Arrest him," he said flatly.

"What?" Marcus looked at AJ, unsure whether or not he'd heard him correctly.

"You heard me," AJ shouted, throwing the pen to Howie before glaring at Marcus. "That guy is the fucking asshole who's been terrorizing us! Tell Palmer and ARREST THE

BASTARD!"

"Ok, you got it," Marcus nodded, and left.

"So if Andy's here," Howie asked, sitting down on a couch and frowning. "Where are Nick and Kevin?"

***

Tommy looked at Nick for a moment, a smirk creeping across his face. "Why, Nickolas!"

He chuckled softly, before bringing his knee up as hard as he could, striking Nick firmly between the legs. "So nice to see you again," he said as Nick fell to the floor, holding his crotch in pain. "My, did that hurt?"

"Bastard," Nick hissed, rolling over onto his back to try to get his legs under him and stand up.

"I figure, the bigger you are, there more there is to hurt, isn't there?" Tommy asked, before kicking Nick, hard. He laughed when Nick screamed in pain, "I guess so."

Nick pushed himself up to his knees, ignoring the burning pain and determined not to let Tommy get the best of him. His eyes widened when his cellphone began to ring, and he quickly pulled it out of his pocket. "Thank god," he breathed, an instant before Tommy kicked the phone out of his hand, sending it flying into the wall. "Shit."

"Nice try, Nicky boy," Tommy laughed, and grabbed the collar of Nick's shirt, dragging him down the hall. "Come on, I got some people who would LOVE to see you."

"Let me go, you asshole," Nick struggled as he was being pulled down the hall, successfully landing a fist in Tommy's stomach. He jumped to his feet when Tommy doubled over, and punched the man again, sending him careening into the wall.

"What, no tire iron this time, Nick?" Tommy gasped for breath, before continuing down the hall backwards, watching as Nick followed. "No?"

"No," Nick said slowly, shaking his head. "I swore I'd never do that again, and even you won't make me break that promise."

Tommy snickered, and laughed, "you were always such a good boy at heart, Nick. Just that temper you got, it's gonna kill you."

"Almost killed you," Nick took a swing at Tommy, frowning when he missed. "I should have then."

"Almost will get you nothing," Tommy danced away from Nick's fists, still laughing.

"You couldn't fight then either."

"HELP!"

Nick's head shot around at the sound of the scream, and he gasped in horror. "Tara?"

Tommy grinned, "your girlfriend's here. Wanna see her?"

"What the fuck is she doing here?" Nick took another swing, striking the wall with his fist. He grunted in pain, before whirling around to glare at Tommy. "She's not part of this."

"Now she is," Tommy said, before reaching out and shoving Nick hard. He watched as Nick went flying down the stairs backwards, striking his head hard when he reached bottom. His eyes widened when he saw Nick lying in a crumpled heap, his body still, and shrugged. "Oh well," he whispered, laughing at Tara's loud scream of Nick's name. "I guess Kevin won't be the first to die after all."

***

"Oh jesus," Brian moaned, sitting down on a couch and covering his face with his hands.

"Do you think Jessica has them?"

AJ shook his head slowly, "I don't know. It's not like them not to answer their cell phones, though."

"What about Tara? Maybe she's heard from Nick?" Howie suggested, twirling the gold pen around in his fingers.

"Maybe," AJ looked at his shattered cellphone lying on the floor, and laughed lightly.

"Anyone got a phone?"

"Here," Brian threw his phone to AJ. "Try her on the hospital's phone, Nick said her cell was still in the hotel room."

"Gotcha," AJ dialed, biting his lip as he waited for an answer. He asked for Tara's room, before sitting down with a hard thud, his mouth dropping open. "Are you sure?" He asked, his face turning a strange shade of green. "Ok."

"What?" Brian looked at AJ, his eyes narrowing. "What did they say?"

"Tara's gone," AJ threw the phone back at Brian, his eyes full of confusion. "They said they don't know what happened, all of her stuff's still there, but she's just…gone."

"Tara wouldn't have left the hospital, Nick said she was in horrible shape," Howie said, shaking his head.

"She wouldn't have left the hospital by choice, you mean," AJ said grimly. He frowned, looking at the gold pen Howie was spinning around. "Shit, shit shit. Wait!" He sat up straight, and gestured to Howie to throw him the pen, "give me that."

"Ok," Howie tossed the pen to AJ, looking curiously when AJ peered closely at the gold, running his finger over it. "What are you doing?"

"Aren't these things normally engraved?" AJ asked, holding the pen up to his eyes and looking closely. "FUCK!" He shouted, standing up and running into the hallway.

"What?" Howie and Brian ran after him, watching in amazement as he ran down the hall, yelling at Marcus to stop.

"That's not him, leave him alone!" AJ shouted, grabbing Andy's hand and pulling him away from Marcus.

"What?" Marcus looked at AJ, totally confused. "Man, but you said…"

"I was wrong," AJ yanked Andy away from Marcus, shaking his head. "Call off the troops," he gestured to the FBI agents standing nearby.

"You sure?"

"Positive." AJ pulled Andy down the hallway and into the room, waiting for Brian and Howie to walk in before slamming the door behind him. "The fucking pen. No wonder Nick thought it would be proof," he said, shaking his head. "Leave it to me to not read the damn thing…"

Andy was in a complete state of shock, his eyes wide open as he stared at AJ. "Huh?" He squeaked out, looking at the pen in AJ's hands.

"Look," AJ handed Brian the pen, and pointed. "Read the inscription."

Brian gasped, and stared at AJ in horror. "Oh shit."

"What's it say?" Howie asked, walking over and peering over Brian's shoulder.

"To our darling son, Gayle Thomas," Brian read, before looking up at Andy. "Do you know where they went?"

Andy nodded slowly, still staring at AJ in amazement. "Nick said to tell you he was going to Tommy's, and to bring the cavalry."

"Nick went to Tommy's?" Brian asked, standing up and shaking his head. "Oh god, no, that's not good…Kevin and Nick are both there?"

"Nicky's gonna kill him," Howie said, his eyes wide with fear. "We gotta get over there."

"Unless he kills Nick first," Brian's eyes filled with tears as he stared at AJ. "He's gonna kill both of them!"

"MARCUS!" AJ ran back out into the hallway, screaming for Marcus to recall the FBI.

"We gotta go! We got some asses to kick!"

Andy just watched as the room filled with large men, all with solemn, serious expressions. "Oh my," he said softly, unable to believe this was happening to him. The men charged out of the room, and he finally let out his breath, looking around at the large empty suite. "Wow," he breathed, shaking his head.

"Hey, Andy?" AJ stuck his head back into the room, looking at him curiously.

"Yeah?" Andy looked up, feeling his heart stop beating at the sight of AJ.

"Aren't you coming?"

"Yeah," Andy prayed his legs wouldn't give out on him when AJ patted him on the shoulder, gently guiding him down the hallway. "We got some boys to save, don't we."

"Yeah," AJ agreed. "It seems like we do."

***

Chapter 37

"Oh god, Nick," Kevin gasped in horror, as he began to crawl towards the blonde on the floor, dragging his broken leg behind him.

Jessica started laughing, and quickly maneuvered herself in front of Kevin, bending down to wave the gun in his face. "Nope, Kevin, don't move. Although," she turned around to look at Nick, shaking her head. "This is classic."

"Isn't it?" Tommy replied, walking into the room and stepping over Nick. "He just showed up here, all on his own. Too good to be true."

"Nick," Tara whispered, tears filling her eyes as she stared at him. "He's not moving."

"I do think that's what happens when you're DEAD," Tommy answered evenly, walking over to the table and picking up his knife.

"Oh god," Tara cried, cursing her own body for being so useless. "He can't be…"

"Sure looks to me like he is," Jessica remarked, kicking Nick with her foot. When he didn't move, she shrugged. "Dead as a doornail."

"You'll never get away with this," Kevin hissed, squirming away as Tommy walked towards him with the knife.

"Sure I will," Tommy replied, grabbing Kevin by his shoulder and lifting him into a seating position. "Now, how exactly are we going to do this," he bit his lip, looking Kevin over. "I had been thinking we'd just take your shorts off, but given, this," he touched Kevin's broken leg, smirking when the older man screamed in pain. "It'd just be easier to cut them off."

"Sure," Jessica agreed. "What should I do with her?" She gestured to Tara, who was shivering from head to toe, her eyes still firmly fixed on Nick.

"Make her watch this, not blondie," Tommy ordered. He rolled his eyes when Jessica walked to Tara with the gun, "not with that, idiot, you shoot her, she's dead. Get the knife."

"Ok," Jessica put the gun back on the table, and grabbed the knife. She sat down on the floor next to Tara, running the blade across the gauze on her cheek. "You're all bashed up, aren't you, Tara," she remarked, slicing through the gauze and pulling it off. "Oh, look at that," she laughed, touching the stitches running down her cheek. "That's gonna leave a scar."

Tara tried to pull her head away from Jessica's grasp, but the other woman grabbed her around the neck, holding her in place.

"You won't be so pretty now, will you," Jessica smirked, tracing her finger across the black stitches. "Although I guess Nick won't be around to care."

"Will you stop it, and pay attention?" Tommy barked, glaring at Jessica. "We have a PLAN here?"

"Well, the plan just went to shit anyway, didn't it?" Jessica snapped, gesturing to Nick.

"Not to mention, did you look at his hands? You got HIM with that bomb too."

"You're the one who put it in there, idiot," Tommy retorted. "So what, he couldn't hit me with the bandages on his hands, all worked out for the best."

Kevin watched in amazement at the two quarreling, unable to believe these two people had managed to wreak such havoc on his life. Not when they were clearly such idiots themselves…

"Just shut up and kill him," Jessica groaned, yanking Tara's head around so she was looking at Kevin. "I want to hurry up and get to Howie."

"You will, I promised you would," Tommy replied, bending down and kneeling on Kevin's chest. He looked into Kevin's eyes and grinned, "I always keep my promises."

"Bastard," Kevin hissed. "Whatever we did to you, it doesn't justify this."

"Oh, it justifies this, and so much more," Tommy replied, sliding off of Kevin to run the knife along his hip. "Here we go now," he slipped the knife underneath the waist of Kevin's shorts, yanking up and cutting them along the seam.

"STOP IT!" Tara shouted, screaming when Jessica slammed her head into the wall.

"Won't you just shut up?" Jessica asked in annoyance, waving the knife in front of her face. "You're already bleeding pretty bad, you want more?"

Tara looked down at her stomach, gasping when she realized she was, indeed, bleeding through her shirt. "No," she mumbled, shaking her head. Funny, she didn't even feel pain anymore, not really, just…god…Nick couldn't be dead.

"Then shut up and watch." Jessica relaxed her grip on Tara's head as she turned around to watch Tommy continue to cut open Kevin's shorts.

Tara's eyes returned to Nick, and she gasped when she saw his head raise to look at her.

"Nicky," she whispered, crying out when Jess returned the knife to her stomach for her comment.

"I told you to shut the fuck up!" Jessica said angrily, pushing the tip of the knife into Tara's belly. "I really have no desire to kill you, but jesus christ…."

"Stop that, Jess, I told you, she's almost dead as is, I need her alive for this," Tommy looked up from Kevin to glare at Jessica.

Nick's face contorted when he heard Tommy's words, and he stared at Tara, tears filling his eyes. Slowly, he lifted a finger to his mouth, signaling to Tara to remain quiet.

Tara nodded, her eyes wide as she watched Nick. "Hurry," she mouthed, gesturing with her chin towards Kevin.

Nick nodded, and mouthed, "I'm sorry," before slowly sliding along the floor towards the table. His movements were sluggish, and he had to stop every few inches to lower his head to the floor, fighting for breath.

Tommy removed Kevin's shorts and sat back, admiring his work. He'd cut Kevin a little bit in the process, but for the most part, he was very proud of what he'd done. "Now this is going to be a little trickier," he slid the knife underneath the waistband of Kevin's underwear, ripping the silk with one quick yank.

Kevin's eyes were dark with fear, and he was silent as he watched Tommy continue to work over him.

Tara watched as Nick reached the table, holding her breath, watching him struggle to reach up and grab the gun. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him fall over, without the strength to fully extend his arm to the tabletop. Oh god, please let him do this, she prayed. She looked at Jessica and Tommy, and please god, don't let them see him…

Kevin groaned when he felt his underwear yanked away from his skin, staring at the ceiling as he resigned himself to his fate.

"And here we have, lil Kevin, in all his glory," Tommy remarked, touching his finger to the tip of him. "I remember this fondly," he laughed, his eyes glinting when Kevin's hips tried to move away from him. "No, Kev, you're not going anywhere."

"Just do it, and get it over with," Kevin said softly, closing his eyes as a tear rolled down his face. "You may get me, but you'll never get the rest of them."

"Right," Tommy snickered, driving the tip of the knife into the top of Kevin's tattoo.

"And who's going to stop me?" He asked, as he began to pull the knife downward, as promised, carving out the characters printed in Kevin's skin.

"I AM," Nick growled, raising himself to his knees and firing the gun at Tommy. He watched as the man went sprawling to the ground, and struggled to push himself to his feet, unable to fire again from angle he was at on the floor.

"Drop the fucking gun, or your girlfriend dies," Jessica shouted, grabbing Tara's head and pulling it into her lap. She tried to remove the knife from where it was held by Tara's stomach, but found Tara's hand holding it in place, and herself locked in a tug of war with her.

"Let her go," Nick hissed, standing up and swaying awkwardly on his feet. He turned around to look at Tommy, frowning when the man moved. "Get the knife, Kevin," he ordered, watching as Kevin grabbed the knife from his pelvis, holding it tight between his hands.

"No," Jessica replied, still trying to regain control of the knife. How Tara could have so much energy, when she was clearly so injured, was beyond her…

"You do, and I won't kill Tommy," Nick said evenly, leveling the gun at the figure squirming on the floor.

Jessica laughed, "you think I care about HIM? Shoot him."

"Don't do that, Nick," Kevin said, shaking his head. "He's close enough as is, but you don't want to do that…"

"Watch me," Nick cocked the gun, and held it over Tommy, waiting for Jessica to react.

"I'm gonna do it!" He shouted, his hand trembling as he pointed the gun.

"You can't kill him," Jessica mocked. "Such a little pretty boy, without the guts to kill."

"What happened to your promise, Nick?" Tommy groaned, rolling over onto his back to look up at Nick. "You can't kill me."

Tara threw her body into Jessica's, taking the knife and rolling away from her. "SHOOT

HER!" She screamed, followed by a dull cry of pain as she stopped moving.

Nick whirled around and fired, watching as Jessica slumped against the wall, a red spot growing in her chest. He fell to the ground and dropped the gun, staring at Tara. "Baby?

Are you ok?"

Tara lay on her back with the knife imbedded in her stomach, and she looked at Nick sadly, as her body shook. "I don't think so," she groaned, reaching a hand out to him.

"It's over, baby, we're gonna get you help now," Nick crawled over to Tara, running a hand along the side of her face. "Just hang in there, it's all over."

"You're alive," Tara began to cry, turning her head into his hand. "I can't believe we did it…"

"KEVIN! NICK!" A scream was heard from upstairs, followed by a loud crash, and the sound of splintering wood.

"We're down here!" Kevin shouted as strongly as he could, sitting up to look at the slash Tommy had given him. "Oh shit," he felt his head spin, and fell back down, pressing his hand to the bloody spot.

Brian ran into the room, followed by AJ, skidding to a stop when he saw the bodies sprawled around the floor. "Oh holy god," he gasped, running to Kevin and touching his shoulder. "Kevin, talk to me, please…"

"I'm ok, cuz," Kevin said softly, reaching out to touch his cousin. "I'm ok."

"Nick?" AJ fell to his knees next to Nick and Tara, staring at them in horror. "What the hell happened here?"

"She needs an ambulance," Nick was lying on the floor next to Tara, his hand over her chest. "She really needs an ambulance," he repeated, his eyes fluttering as he struggled to stay conscious.

"So do you, I think," AJ replied, before screaming for the FBI to get an ambulance, fuck, to get three, and NOW.

"Holy shit," Andy finally made it into the room after all of the FBI ran in, and looked around, his eyes wide. He gasped when he saw Jessica's body against the far wall, and covered his mouth with his hand, shaking his head. "You know, Bone, if this is the life of a Backstreet Boy, you can keep it," he said wryly.

"Shut up," AJ shot back, rolling his eyes at Andy's remark. "Come here and help your friend."

Andy's eyes fell on Tara, and his knees buckled, as he walked to her. "Tara? Baby?"

"She passed out," Nick told him weakly, turning to AJ. "She's gonna be ok though, right?"

"You're all gonna be ok," AJ reassured Nick. "You'll all be ok."

Andy took one more look around the room, shaking his head slowly. He mumbled, "this isn't really happening," before his hand went to his head, and he slid to the floor in a dead faint.

Well, he'd always said he would pass out the first time he saw AJ. So he did.

***

Tara snuggled into the arms holding her tight, and smiled, pressing a kiss to Nick's chest.

"Morning," she whispered, opening her eyes to look at him.

"Good morning," Nick's blue eyes opened, and he looked down at her, his heart soaring at the expression on her face. "God, it's morning, and you're still here," he said in awe, tangling a hand through her hair.

"I'm not going anywhere, Nicky," she replied, sliding an arm across his waist to hold him tight. She had spent the last two weeks in the hospital recovering from the stab wound that had nearly killed her, but now she was out, and didn't intend to ever go back in again. They'd all spent a fair amount of time in the hospital, Nick recovering from his concussion, and the ribs he'd broken falling down the stairs, and Kevin, for his broken leg and stab wound. Even Andy had spent a night in the hospital, he'd banged his head pretty hard when he'd passed out, something that had completely humiliated him. But hey, AJ had visited him in the hospital, so that made it all right… The tour had been postponed until everyone was back at full strength, and the mess that had been created by Jessica and Tommy fully dealt with.

And what a mess it had been. The press had gone wild with the story, Nick Carter shooting his two captors, saving the lives of Kevin and Tara in the process was too juicy a story for anyone to turn down. As the days had progressed, the entire story had leaked out down to the most miniscule detail, after all, it was something out of a movie, and the fact that it had happened to the Backstreet Boys just made it all that much better.

Jessica and Tommy were both charged with a slew of offenses, and had been moved to jail after doing some time in the hospital recovering from their gunshot wounds. The Backstreet tour would be postponed until after their trial, as every member of the group would be required to appear, having more than enough stories to tell of the hell they'd been put through.

Tara's old company had even publicly announced that they had made a mistake in firing her, and understood she was only trying to do the right thing by telling the group about the threats. What else COULD they do, after she nearly died trying to save them. As of yet, Tara had yet to give them an answer, but she was pretty positive that answer would be no. After all, there was only one place she wanted to be these days…

"I love you so much," Nick said softly, placing a delicate kiss on Tara's lips.

"I love you too," she replied, curling a hand through his hair.

"You know, we haven't talked about something yet," Nick remarked, pulling away slightly to look into her eyes.

"What's that?" She asked, her eyes narrowing in confusion.

"Your job," Nick said lightly, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her tightly against him. "You're not gonna take it back, are you?"

"I can't, Nick," Tara shook her head against his chest, laughing when he giggled from the movement. "So ticklish," she kissed him, before continuing. "I don't ever want to feel that helpless again."

"Well, you know, we have a job opening on our tour, whenever that starts again," Nick said slyly, grinning down at her.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. We kinda need a webmaster for the tour," he smiled, and kissed her forehead.

"Know anyone who's qualified for the position? Our old webmaster, she's kind of," he laughed. "Detained."

Tara's eyes widened, and she looked at him in astonishment. "Me?"

"You're qualified, aren't you?" Nick replied, laughing at her surprise. "And you'd get to tour with us."

"Oh my god! Yes!" Tara squealed, rolling over on top of him and kissing him deeply.

"Like you really had to ask? Of course!"

"Just thought I'd check," Nick smiled at her, and cupped her face in his hands, pulling her back down for another kiss. "Now, can we stop talking, and do something else?"

"And what something is that?" Tara asked with a smirk, grinding her hips down on him.

"Something we've been able to do far too little of," Nick replied breathlessly, sliding his hands down her body to cup her rear. He pulled her firmly down against him, and grinned. "Gotta make up for lost time, you know."

"You got it, Carter," Tara replied, smiling when he moaned under her. "As I said, I'm not going anywhere."

"Well, baby, actually, you're going everywhere," Nick corrected, grinning when she wrinkled her nose at him. "You're just gonna go everywhere with me."

"Anywhere, everywhere, as long as you're there, I don't care," Tara said, before laughing loudly. "Hey, that rhymed!"

"Next thing you know, you're gonna be writing song lyrics."

"You know, Nick, I'll be quite happy if I don't hear any more lyrics for a long time," Tara replied softly, a solemn expression crossing her face.

"Yeah," Nick nodded, before rolling her over in bed, crawling on top of her. "No lyrics.

Just music," he kissed her deeply, and smiled. "We can make that music ourselves."

And together, they made beautiful music.

No lyrics needed.

***

Epilogue

You have joined Backstreet Boys Chat…there are 30 users in chat. Keeping the Backstreet Pride Alive!

rpggamer01: BACKSTREET BOYS SOCKS!

Shiningstar203894: Backstreet Boys socks? I don't have those.

l1v1ng1nh3ll: Someone almost killed two of them, you know.

Superchick405: I know!! Poor Nick, omg!

Howiedluvah: u shut up

Jojoboy1: the bsb are all gay

rpggamer01: sucks. Typo. Fuk u.

l1v1ng1nh3ll: I wish they'd done it. Kevin, Nick, I'd love to see them dead.

hotsupahstar: my pic on profile, go look.

portopotty: BSB SUCKS!!

Shiningstar203894: then go!

justinssexychickie: I like nsync

ilovenickycarter203: if Nick's in here, please pm me NOOOOW

missprissy304: I'm Nick Carter.

l1v1ng1nh3ll: I want to kill Nick Carter.

Jojoboy1: Nick's gay.

Howiedluvah: Nick is not in here.

Taz_gets_high: rhwfhrgea;oratret;ihrta;th TALK PEOPLE!!

lilpimp-warrior: anyone wants phone sex, hit 311

Superchick405: don't hurt Nick!

missprissy304: yah! Hurting nick is baaaaaad.

l1v1ng1nh3ll: hey nick, want to meet sometime? I can show you something gooood.

Missprissy304: who u?

l1v1ng1nh3ll: I'm AJ.

Jojoboy1: bullshit.

Taz_gets_high: this is booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooring blah blah blah

Missprissy304: REALLY???

l1v1ng1nh3ll: PM me your phone number and addy. We'll talk.

hotsupahstar: BSB sucks and should all die NOOOOW.

rpggamer01: I heard Nick got it up the ass and luved it.

Superchick405: that not funny!

missprissy304: I sent it. Did you get it?

l1v1ng1nh3ll: yes.

You have left Backstreet Boys Chat.

***

Table of Contents

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Epilogue