“Is he
gonna come back, Mama?”
Standing in
the midst of the mass of screaming Backstreet Boys fans, Gianna looked down at her
seven-year-old daughter. “I dunno,
babe,” she said, craning her neck to watch Nick Carter disappear into the
arena. “I don’t think so.”
Luciana’s
face crumpled, her bottom lip jutting out.
“You said we could get his autograph!”
“I said
we’d try to get his autograph,”
Gianna corrected. When her daughter
continued to pout, she added, “Look at all these people, babe. They all want the same thing as you! You think the Backstreet Boys have time to
sign autographs for everyone here?”
“Yeah! Why can’t they? We’ve been waiting and waiting!” whined
Luciana.
“Luci. C’mon now.
If they stopped to sign an autograph for every girl here, they’d never
have time to sing! And that’s why you
like ‘em so much, right? ‘Cause of their
music!”
Luci glared
down at the pavement.
“And,
alright, so Nick Carter’s pretty cute, ain’t he?” teased Gianna, hoping to coax
a smile out of her. Luci wouldn’t look
up, but she could see the corners of her mouth start to twitch. She grinned.
“As for me, I think I prefer the tall, dark, and handsome one… what’s
his name again?”
Finally,
Luci looked up, giggling. “Kevin!”
“Kevin. That’s right.” She rose up on her toes, watching him greet
some of the lucky fans who were up close to the barricades. She wondered how early they’d gotten there to
get such a prime spot. If she’d had any
idea…
“I can’t
see,” Luci whined, stamping her foot.
“Pick me up, Mama?”
“Alright,
alright… just for a minute, though, okay?
I’m sure they gotta go in soon and get ready for their concert.”
“Is that
where Nick went?” asked Luci, as Gianna hoisted her up onto her hip.
“Yep.”
“I wish we
could go in and watch it…”
Gianna
sighed. “I told you, babe, I tried. All the seats sold out in about five
seconds. And all the scalpers here are
freakin’ insane if they think we’re gonna pay those prices for tickets. I’m sorry, babe, we just can’t afford it.”
“Can’t you
call Daddy? He can give us the money!”
“Your
daddy’s money ain’t all his to give, babe,” said Gianna, boosting her up higher
on her hip.
“Just call
him! Please?” Luci begged.
“Alright,
alright, hold your horses…” Setting her
daughter down, Gianna dug around in her purse for her cell phone. “Yeah, Joey?” she spoke into the phone, when
a man’s voice answered. “Listen, we need
a favor. Luci and I are tryin’ to get in
to see a concert tonight, this group she really likes, but the tickets are sold
out. You think you could cough up some
cash so we could buy some seats off the scalpers?”
“Yeah, how
much we talkin’?” Joey sounded distracted;
she could hear him fumbling around and voices murmuring in the background. When she told him the price, he swore
loudly. “You kiddin’ me? Fuck no, I ain’t payin’ that.”
“She really
wants this, Joey…” Gianna started to plead, but she was quickly shot down.
“Lay off
it, G, would ya? I got more important
things to worry about.”
“Yeah? More important than your own kid, you mean?”
“Screw you,
Gianna; you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about. I don’t have time to be dealin’ with this
crap,” Joey hissed. “I got problems, big
ones.”
Gianna
rolled her eyes. Joey always had
problems. “Yeah, well, screw you, too,”
she muttered back. Then she asked, “You
comin’ home tonight?”
“I don’t
think so. There’s somethin’ I gotta take
care of.”
“I thought
that’s what you said last night. What,
you didn’t take care of it?”
“Lay off
it, G,” he said again.
“Fine,”
Gianna snapped. “Goodbye.” She ended the call before he could have the
last word.
Cramming
the phone back into her purse, she looked down at Luci and offered an
apologetic shrug. “No can do, babe. Your dad ain’t got the money either. You’re gonna have to settle for watchin’ them
on that tape of yours.” She stood on
tiptoe again to see over the heads in front of her. The boyband’s bodyguards were starting to
wrangle them toward the doors. “C’mon,
looks like they’re headin’ in now… let’s go home.”
Luci’s big,
brown eyes welled with tears; Gianna could tell she was on the verge of a
tantrum. Quickly, she grabbed her daughter
by the hand and dragged her out of the crowd.
***
“What’s up
with you, Nick?”
Backstage
in the arena, Nick cast Kevin a resentful look.
“Get off my back, Kevin.”
“I’m not on
your back,” Kevin replied calmly. “I’m
just wonderin’ what’s goin’ on with you.
You’ve been actin’ weird all day.
Are you not feelin’ well?”
“I feel
fine,” Nick snapped, though it couldn’t have been further from the truth. He felt sick to his stomach, though he knew
it had nothing to do with illness.
Kevin’s constant grilling made him feel worse.
The worst
part was, he wanted to tell him what
was really going on, what he’d seen and how much it was bothering him… but he’d
already decided not to. If he let the
others in on his secret, he would just be subjecting them to the same paranoia
that had plagued him all night and day.
It wouldn’t be fair to get them involved. Better to deal with it on his own, until he
decided whether or not to go to the cops.
The guys didn’t need to know a thing.
“Well,
you’re not actin’ like it. You’re moody,
you were rude to the fans outside, and if I’m bein’ honest, you sucked at
soundcheck. If you’re not sick, then
what’s your excuse?” Kevin asked, his tone sharpening.
“C’mon,
Kev, give it a rest,” said Brian, coming to Nick’s defense.
Howie
jumped in, too. “Yeah, we all have off
days. Huh, Nicky?”
Nick nodded
and looked away, avoiding Howie’s understanding smile. “Yeah, it’s just one of those days, I guess,”
he mumbled. “I’ll pull it together for
the show tonight.”
“We know,
Frack,” said Brian, punching him in the arm.
“You always do.”
But by the
end of the concert that night, Nick wasn’t sure he had proven Brian right. Maybe the fans hadn’t noticed anything was
wrong, but he knew the guys could tell he was off his game. He’d performed as if on autopilot, singing
his parts without the emotion he usually put into them, dancing the
choreography without any sparkle. He
hadn’t made any mistakes, per se, thanks only to the fact that he had done this
show fifty-some times before. It was
ingrained in his brain, at this point; he could perform it in his sleep. But on that night, he’d done it without any
thought or any heart, and he was sure it had showed.
The last
song before the encore was “Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely,” which was a
likely choice to be their next single.
As he stood atop the raised platform in the center of the pentagonal
stage in his lurid, pink suit, Nick was determined to do it justice. The concert hadn’t gone well, by his usual
standards, but it hadn’t gone as badly as he’d feared, either. All night, he’d been on edge, expecting the
two men to emerge from the crowd of twenty thousand that surrounded them. He knew it was irrational; it was a sold-out
show, and even if they had managed to get tickets, security was tight. He felt some relief now that the concert was
almost over, and he tried to put that into his performance.
It wasn’t
hard to look solemn as he listened to the other guys sing their solos, adding his
voice to the harmony of the chorus and second verse.
“Guilty roads to an endless love,” he sang, his
voice blending with Kevin’s. “There’s no control. Are you with me now? Your every wish will be done, they tell me…” His voice rang out over the others, as they
came in with the chorus.
“Show me the meaning of being lonely. Is this the feeling I need to walk with? Tell me why I can’t be there where you
are. There’s something missing in my
heart…”
“There’s nowhere to run; I have no place to go,” sang Howie, while
the others made their way down to the main stage. “Surrender
my heart, body, and soul…”
As he held
his long, mournful note, Nick joined the others, singing, “How can it be you’re asking me to feel the things you never show?” AJ’s powerful voice echoed through the arena,
and they went into their choreography, a seductive dance that had each of them
paired with one of their female dancers.
Before Nick
knew it, they were back on the platform, and AJ was shouting, “Thank you,
Philadelphia! We love you! Goodnight!”
The encore
that followed was the longest they’d ever done, but at last, the stage was
covered in silver confetti, the arena was ringing with screams and applause,
and they were taking their final bows while the band finished playing “I Want
It That Way.”
The show
was over, and Nick had survived. But as
he sank beneath the stage with the other guys, he felt no relief. He still had two more nights in Philadelphia,
and tomorrow, they’d do it all over again.
***
“So, you
guys goin’ out again tonight?”
Sandwiched
between AJ and Brian for the ride from the venue back to the hotel, Nick tried
to keep his tone casual as he asked the question. Still, he sagged with relief when he heard
Kevin’s answer. “Nah… it’s gettin’ late,
and we’ve got press tomorrow, remember?
It’s a good night to stay in.
Let’s just order some pizzas and kick it in the hotel.”
“That
sounds good,” Nick replied eagerly. “We
can chill in our room… play some Sega or watch a movie or somethin’.” Anything
to distract me, he thought in desperation.
I can’t take another night like
last night.
“Just not The Matrix again, okay?” begged Howie.
“You act
like I’ve been watching it nonstop or something,” said Nick, who had watched
the movie at least five times since it had come out on video a week ago.
“You have!”
“What, it’s
a cool movie!” Nick insisted.
“Sorry
Frack, I’m with Howie,” said Brian.
“Let’s watch something else this time.”
“Like what,
a chick flick your woman will enjoy?
Man, she’s got you so whipped, Frick…”
“Whipped
like cream.” Brian grinned, refusing to
be baited.
“Ew, don’t
say ‘cream.’ I don’t wanna know what you
and her do behind closed doors.”
AJ
snorted. “Apparently you think about it,
though. Get your mind out of the gutter,
Carter.”
“Shut up,
it’s not!”
They
bickered all the way back to the hotel, where a small clump of fans were
waiting outside the entrance. “Great,”
muttered Nick under his breath, as the group of girls started to squeal.
“Come on,
there’s not that many of them. Let’s
just sign a few autographs, take a few pictures, and get upstairs before they
call their friends,” said Kevin.
They got
out of the van and were immediately surrounded.
Remembering how he had freaked out earlier, Nick tried to keep his cool,
reminding himself that they were his fans, not his enemies. He stayed long enough to sign their BSB
memorabilia and pose for pictures, then excused himself into the lobby. The others soon followed.
Their plans
for the evening set, they rode upstairs on the elevator together, accompanied
by their bodyguards. When the elevator
reached Nick and Kevin’s new floor, Kevin said, “Why don’t you guys go get
settled and come down in twenty minutes or so?
I wanna call Kristin first.”
“Yeah, I
wanna call Amanda, too,” said AJ.
“Sounds
good,” agreed Howie and Brian, as Kevin and Nick stepped off onto their
floor. Marcus followed, walking them
down the empty hallway to their room.
“You guys
call upstairs if you need anything,” he said, before he left them. “Let us know if you’re plannin’ on headin’
out again anytime soon.”
Nick turned
away to hide the guilty look on his face, while Kevin replied, “Thanks,
Marcus. I think we’re just gonna lay low
tonight; we should be fine.”
“Alright,
cool. Have a good one.” Marcus bid them goodnight and disappeared
into the nearby stairwell for the short jog up a floor.
Kevin
turned to Nick, who was thinking of how the previous night might have turned
out differently if he had just brought Marcus along. “What, you couldn’t get your key out while we
were talking?”
“Huh? Oh – sorry.”
Nick fumbled in his pockets, looking for his new key card.
“Never
mind, I got it,” grunted Kevin, retrieving his own first. He swiped the card in the door. Nick saw the light flash green and heard the
lock click before Kevin reached for the door handle, tucking the key into his
back pocket. He opened the door, and
Nick followed him in, letting the door shut behind them.
It happened
in the instant Kevin turned on the light.
He flipped the
switch, and as soon as light flooded the dark room, the two men appeared. They were standing between the two beds,
where they’d apparently been crouching out of sight, just waiting. Nick’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of
them, then began to thud with impending doom, as he recognized Joey and the man
with the big arms who had grabbed him, the man who was aiming a gun right at
them.
In front of
Nick, Kevin had gone rigid. His normally
calm voice shook as he started to ask, “What are you-?”
He never
got to finish the question. As the words
left his lips, the man with the gun raised a pillow in front of its barrel and
pulled the trigger.
***