Chapter
1
I about collapsed
a moment prior after I heard the news. How could I explain my feelings? Denial,
sadness, shock, call it what you want..
"Momma!" My mother walked into the house and hugged me as I cried.
"I heard the news on the radio, baby, it's gonna be okay.." She
soothed, rocking me back and forth as a mother would calm a whimpering babe.
"It's not going to be okay!" I yelled and ran up the stairway, to my
much Brian Littrell-infested walls. Impulsively, I started ripping at least
twenty posters off my wall at a time. When I was done, I had finished an entire
wall.
"WHY BRIAN!" I sobbed. He was always my favorite. The only thing
flashing through my teenage-head were pictures of Brian that I had seen before
in magazines, internet, and my wall, now a literally crumbled mess. I tried my
hardest to erase the already permanently pasted memories I had glued in my mind
of him, but the more I wished they would disappear the bigger and more dramatic
they would become.
"Honey, Katie is here." I heard my mother say warmly from the
hallway. I got off my bed, sniffled, and opened the door. Katie stood there, as
tear-drenched as me, red as a tomato, and with gray circles under her eyes.
"He-"
"I know.. it's okay.." She wrapped me in a hug and I accepted it very
willingly.
"This is a nightmare.." I sobbed more. Katie just nodded.
***
