Chapter
10
I'll
never break your heart, I'll never make you cry, I'd rather die, than live
without you, I'll give you all of me honey that's no lie.
Mariah
listened to the Backstreet Boys CD that she had asked her mom to buy for her
when she visited. Her mom couldn't come so she sent it by mail to Mariah.
Mariah had just received it. The minute she heard 'I'll Never Break Your
Heart', she fell in love with it. She had been listening to it for 3 days
straight now, and already she knew all the words. She listened to Brian's voice
and thought it was the most incredible thing she had ever heard. A voice of an
angel.
"You
still listening to that, honey?" asked the nurse. All the nurses knew
Mariah now. They treated her like a daughter.
"Yup!
I love it. Come on, admit it Stella, you love it too!" teased Mariah
"Alright,
alright, so I love it. Big deal. What is this, confession time?" Stella
smiled at Mariah. "Well, dear, lunch is served. If you need anything, I'll
be right outside."
"Thanks
Stella."
"No
problem, anytime." said Stella and left the room.
Mariah
turned her CD player back on and continued listening to the music. She hummed
and ate her lunch at the same time.
It
had been a week and half since her break up with Jake. For a couple of days
afterwards, she cried on and off. Sometimes for Jake, others for no apparent
reason. She felt lonely, and afraid. She would sit and think about all the
things that could happen and could not happen. Would she have a future? Would
this ever end for her? When will she be happy? The days wore on and there were
only more questions, no answers. Everything she did made her think more of
Brian. She needed someone to make her laugh, to talk to when she was alone or
afraid. She needed him to hold her hand through her chemotherapy treatments like
he used to, and most of all, a friendly face to look at and talk to when she
needed him the most.
After
lunch, Mariah wandered off into the pediatrics department. She went there once
in a while in a spare time to cheer up lonely children by themselves. Children
who's parents couldn't always be there for them. Just like Mariah's. She had
met a kid name Selwyn. Selwyn didn't have any parents. He was always in and out
of foster homes. He was born with aids. After he was born, his mother had left
him in a park, hoping that somebody would come and claim him. When Mariah had
heard this, her heart went out to the poor little boy. He was at the age of 7,
the age where he should be at school, exploring new things, and playing with
his friends.
"Hey
Sel! How's it goin'? greeted Mariah.
"Mariah!"
cried Selwyn. He always enjoyed her visits. "I'm so glad you came! Look
what the nurses gave me to play with. A Nintendo 64. Cool, huh?"
"Very
cool." replied Mariah, gazing at the little boy who was jumping up and
down in front of her.
"Come
play! Please, please, please?" pleaded the little boy, putting on a puppy
dog face.
"Aww...not
the puppy face!" cried Mariah.
Selwyn
just kept pleading with her.
"Oh
all right!" agreed Mariah. "I'll play. It's not like I have anything
to do."
The
two companions plopped themselves in front of the TV and began their game of
Mario Cart. They played for three hours straight until Selwyn had to go down
for his daily check up. Stella came to pick him up.
"Oh,
come on Stella! Just one more game?" pleaded Selwyn.
"Young
man, you said that five minutes ago, and you've already completed two games.
Now, march on out here before your doctor gets mad at you."
"Go
on Selwyn," said Mariah, "we can always play later. Besides, you
wouldn't want Dr. Schmidt to get mad do you? You know how he looks when he gets
mad!" Mariah made a funny face, trying to impersonate Selwyn's doctor.
Selwyn
laughed and said, "Alright, but when I get back we're playing again!"
"You're
on!" said Mariah. She then said good bye to Selwyn and left for her own
chemo treatment.
* * * *
Brian stepped up to the hospital doors and let out a sigh. He clutched the bear
that he had bought for Mariah even tighter.
'This
is it,' Brian thought. 'I hope she's not mad at me.' With that, he pulled open
the door and stepped into the familiar environment.
Brian
had flown into town that morning, but he had gone back to his apartment to
sleep. There was a time difference and he was completely exhausted.
Brian
got into the elevators and pushed the floor that Mariah was on. He began to
rehearse what he was going to say.
"Mariah!
How are you? You seem great compared to when I last saw you!" What am I
retarded? thought Brian, I can't say that.
He
kept on practicing until he got to Mariah's floor. It was his old floor too.
Brian stepped out of the elevator and old memories flooded back to him. He had
spent 6 months in this hospital recuperating. Lots of things happened to him
while he was here. He had met and become friends with an elderly lady. He sat
and talked with her when she needed company, but three weeks later, she passed
away. Not even a friend came to visit her while she was alive, and no one
claimed her when she died. Brian's heart broke. Brian's thoughts were then
interrupted.
"Brian
Littrell!" cried Stella. "What on earth are you doing here? I didn't
think you'd be back so soon! Are you okay? You are okay, right? Can I get you
anything? Boy, will Mariah be surprised!"
"Whoa,
slow down Stella! One thing at a time!"
"Sorry,
Brian, but I'm just a little surprised to see you. I'm happy you here. Well,
not happy that you're here," said Stella quickly, turning red, "but
I'm happy because-"
"It's
nice to see you too, Stella." said Brian with a laugh. She hadn't changed
a bit.
"So
what are you doing here?" asked Stella with a concerned look on her face.
"Don't
give me that look, Stella. I'm fine, I'm actually here to see Mariah."
"I
figured as much." said Stella with a smile. "She's right where you
left her."
That
comment stung Brian a little. He knew Stella didn't mean it in any way, but
Brian's conscience hadn't let it go, he felt horrible about leaving Mariah the
way he did.
Brian
thanked Stella and proceeded down the hallway to Mariah's room. When he stepped
inside he found the room empty. He felt disappointment yet relieved at the fact
that she wasn't there. He was so incredibly nervous. Brian walked farther into
the room and looked around. It hadn't changed much, only now she had more
flowers and teddy bears around her window. Her bed had a quilt on it. Brian
walked over and touched it. He could smell her in the room. She always had this
distinct, yet lovely smell on her. He missed it. He placed the bear he had
bought her on her pillow, then went to the window and looked around some more.
While he looked out the window he heard soft footsteps, then a tiny little
gasp.
"B-Brian?"
said Mariah in a voice barely audible. She was shocked, surprised, astonished,
and she felt joy and relief.
Brian turned around and looked at Mariah.
"Hi Mariah."
***
