Chapter
20
One week later
Mariah
had a great time hiking with the guys that day. Brian picked her up bright and early
and they all met together. They hiked on a trail, something that Mariah had
never done before. She realized just out of shape she had been, but she wasn't
the only one. Brian was slow and had to try hard to keep up with the group.
Mariah couldn't understand why, he looked like he was in great shape.
Now,
she was on her treadmill, running and watching TV at the same time, but she
couldn't concentrate on the TV. She kept thinking about that dream she had that
night of her birthday. It kept coming back to her everytime she saw Brian. She
didn't know what it meant, but she thought it would be better if she didn't
stay too close to him. She felt bad, but she thought it would be the best thing
to do. At least for now. She turned off her treadmill and looked out the
window. It was pouring rain, just the right weather to fit her mood, then she
went to take a shower.
When
Mariah had gotten out of her shower, she came to a realization of why she
stayed away from Brian the past week. She didn't want to lose again. All her
life she had lost things, people she loved, and she couldn't stand to do it
again, but Mariah knew it was too late. She did love Brian and the fact that
she was ignoring him was making her even sadder. She loved him more than she
could say. He was so important to her.
She
walked over to the table and picked up the phone to phone him to apologize. At
least that was the best that she could do, but just as she was about to dial,
the doorbell rang.
"Coming!"
she called. When she opened the door, there stood Brian.
"Brian!
I--"
"Look
Mariah, just listen to me first." said Brian, cutting her off. "I
don't know what's happening between us, but I know that you're ignoring me and
I want you to tell me why. I can't stand you not talking to me and frankly, I know
the guys are getting sick of me complaining. What did I do wrong? Just tell me
and I try to fix it!" Brian finished what he was saying and tried to catch
his breath.
Mariah
looked at Brian and smiled.
"What?"
asked Brian with puzzled look on his face. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing,"
said Mariah.
"Well,
at least you're smiling," said Brian.
Mariah
sighed. "I know I haven't been the nicest person to you this week Brian,
it's just that I--" Mariah caught herself in mid-sentence.
"What?
What's wrong? Just tell me." prodded Brian gently.
Mariah
caught herself just on time. She couldn't believe what she had almost said to
him.
'Where
did that come from?' thought Mariah.
"Mariah?
What's wrong?" asked Brian, concerned. "What were you going to tell
me?"
"Nothing,
it's just that I--well, I--I've been sick," stammered Mariah, trying to
sound convincing. "I didn't want you to catch it, that's all."
Brian
gave her a look. "And I'm suppose to believe that?"
"Well,
yeah! Why not?"
"How
stupid do you think I am?" asked Brian. "Do you not trust me enough
to tell me what's wrong? I thought we were over that a long time ago!"
Brian was beginning to raise his voice.
Mariah
sighed and hung her head. "I'm sorry, Brian," she apologized.
"It's just that...I can't tell you."
Brian
went over to her and and lifted her face so her eyes would meet his.
"You
can tell me anything," he said gently. "What's wrong?"
Mariah's
eyes started to fill with tears. She had to tell him. 'There's not way out of
this,' she thought to herself.
"Well,"
she said looking into his eyes. "I had this dream, where there was this
guy, and I couldn't see his face. It was blurry. I knew it was someone I knew,
but when I tried to reach for him, he kept getting further and further away
from me. I tried so hard!" Mariah's tears streamed down her face.
"When I tried one last time, he vanished. Then I realized who this person
was!"
Brian
held her tightly. "Who?" he asked gently.
She
looked up at him and said, "You."
Brian
stared at Mariah, shocked at her answer.
"That's
when I realized, I--I--" she took one big breath and said, "I love
you."
Brian
stood and looked at her, his expression was something that she could not
described. He looked surprised and confused all at the same time. At that
moment, she realized, he didn't love her back. At least, not the way that she
wanted him to. He didn't feel the same way. Mariah stepped back from his hold,
turned, and ran out into the rain.
Brian stood there, then realized what he did by letting her run
off he ran out, got in his car and tried to look for her.
***
