DATE: July 22, 2005 – 1st performance of the Never Gone
Tour.
LOCATION: Sound Advice Amphitheater, West Palm Beach, FLORIDA
VICTIM: Baylee Littrell
4:28 PM – 32 minutes to sound check
party
It was the first performance of The
Backstreet Boys’ first major US tour in five years so things were a little
chaotic. The guys were pretty nervous but in good spirits; excited to finally
be back in the saddle. I never would have imagined that such a heinous crime
could have been committed on such an important day. But it did, and the victim
was none other than yours truly. I may be only two and a half years old and a
third of the height of everyone around me but that doesn’t mean I should fall
victim the sometimes-questionable antics of those crazy Backstreet Boys.
It all started when Mom brought me
into the lounge before sound check. Every venue’s a little different but they
all have a lounge backstage and that’s usually where I get stuck while Mom goes
to enjoy the show. I don’t mind so much though because she leaves me with Ms.
Jenny. If I had to get stuck with a nanny, I’m glad it’s her. This dame has it
all, looks, class, and quite the little soft spot for me. That always comes in
handy when I want to stay up late or have a sudden craving for something sweet.
When I walked into the lounge Ms.
Jenny was there to greet me, as always, and this time she was holding a
snack-size bag of my favorite cheesy substance, Cheetos. “I brought a special
treat for my special boy.” She said scooping me into her arms.
I gave her a hug to show her my
appreciation and she whispered in my ear. “If you’re good tonight, I might know
where to find a soda to go with those.” Yup, she’s putty in my hands, that one.
My mouth began to water as I stared at
the colorful package I held in my hands. I couldn’t wait to devour every tasty
morsel but I decided to hold off. Such a superb treat deserved a special
occasion, so I was going to wait until the guys’ performance tonight and enjoy
the ultimate snacking experience.
I set the package on a table with the
rest of my belongings. I knew there was a habit amongst the Backstreet Boys for
tasty food to disappear without a trace but I was sure no one would dare mess
with my Cheetos if they were sitting with my jacket and toys and not on the buffet
table with the rest of the food.
There were still a couple hours until
the concert and I knew I had to find a way to forget about those heavenly chips
or the time would never pass. I decided to busy myself with a new picture for
Grandma Littrell’s refrigerator. Adults have this weird fascination with “cute”
things and grandparents are the biggest suckers ‘em of all. The cuter I am the
more presents there are under the tree come Christmas time.
I pulled out my crayons and got to
work but was soon interrupted. Mother nature was calling and she wasn’t exactly
whispering. Diapers were a thing of the past and I was glad for it but going
potty was still a new concept for me and I knew what would happen if I waited
too long. My picture would just have to wait. I found my way to the bathroom
dragging Ms. Jenny with me for support and that’s when the unthinkable
happened, the moment that changed my life forever.
I didn’t notice it right away. No, the
culprit had plenty time to make a clean getaway before I ever realized what
happened. I came back from the bathroom and resumed my place in front of my
colors and stayed there until AJ showed up. He burst through the door in a
hurry and I jumped up to greet him. “Hey little man!” he said picking me up for
a quick hug before flashing his most dangerous smile at Miss Jenny.
AJ has a weakness for the ladies,
especially my Nannies. I’ve had three in my lifetime. The first two were no
match for the Backstreet Casanova but Miss Jenny resisted his charm with great
strength and it drove him crazy. She received his attention warmly and even
flirted back occasionally, but I knew she only had eyes for the youngest of the
Backstreet Boys.
“Hey Darlin’.” he said getting straight
to the point. I guess he was too busy for romance today. “Have you seen Kevin?
I lent him my watch earlier and I need it back. He said he’d leave it with
you.”
“Sorry.” Miss Jenny said with a shrug,
“No one’s been here but me and Baylee.”
AJ frowned and set me down on the
table next to the door and that’s when I noticed, my Cheetos, my delectable
munchies were missing! I nearly gasped at the horror and franticly began
sifting through the items on the table. “What’s wrong Baylee?” AJ asked as I
threw things on the floor at his feet.
“My Cheetos!” I cried.
Miss Jenny looked on the table and
sure enough, the Cheetos were nowhere to be found. “I’m sorry hon. Someone must
have picked them up while we were in the bathroom. No worries though, we’ll
find you a new treat before the show.”
I didn’t want a new treat; I wanted
mine back. It wasn’t even about eating it now. I was angry. Who would do such a
thing? Who could have done it? It couldn’t have been Miss Jenny. She’d been
with me the whole time and why would she steal something that she’d given me in
the first place. My eyes instantly turned to the only other person I’d seen in
the room, AJ. “You took them!” I accused.
“Baylee.” Miss Jenny said in a stern
voice. “You shouldn’t accuse people like that. It’s not nice.”
I knew that, but I was caught up in
the heat of the moment and needed an answer. Miss Jenny continued me and I
couldn’t help but apologize. That broad had a gift for discipline. “Sorry AJ.”
I said hanging my head in shame.
“It’s all right little man.” AJ
laughed and then made a strange face. “But I didn’t take your Cheetos. I don’t
even like those nasty things. You should ask Nick. You know he can’t resist the
cheese that goes crunch.”
So it wasn’t AJ. AJ wouldn’t lie to me
and come to think of it, I’ve never seen him enjoy the glorious taste of
Cheetos. If I had been missing an order of McDonald’s French fries we would
have quite a different story here, but as it is the tattoo-covered pop star
made a valid point.
Nick Carter had a definite Achilles'
heel for all things cheesy. He also had quite the reputation for sneaking food
that wasn’t his. Yes, AJ was right and Nick was now my number one suspect. My
blood began to boil. I was going to find Nick Carter and I was going to catch
him orange handed! “Go find Nick?” I asked Miss Jenny as innocently sounding as
I possibly could.
Miss Jenny smiled and picked me up off
the table. I knew she wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to talk to the blond who
tugged at her heartstrings. I grinned with satisfaction as Miss Jenny carried
me toward the door. “It looks like we’ve got some business to take care of.”
She giggled to AJ. “If I see Kevin I’ll tell him you need your watch.”
“Thanks Babe.” AJ said and then winked
my direction. “If Nick’s got your Cheetos you let him have it good for me. I
owe him a knuckle sandwich for steeling my chicken nuggets the other day.”
I gave him a quick nod as I was pulled
down the hall, assuring him that I meant business.
4:41 PM – 19 minutes to sound check
Miss Jenny and I found Nick sleeping
on a couch in the hallway while stagehands buzzed all around him. I’m tellin’
ya that man could sleep through Armageddon. He seemed pretty out of it though
and that worried me. Judging from the amount of drool running down the side of
his face it seemed as though he’d been sleeping for quite some time. But I
couldn’t rule him out just yet; Nick’s pretty crafty when it comes to his
stomach.
Miss Jenny’s eyes twinkled as she
looked down at the sleeping form in front of us. “What do you think Baylee?
Should we wake him up?”
“Don’t bother, Kevin already
threatened me.” Nick groaned with his eyes still shut tightly.
So he had been awake! He could still
be the man I was looking for. In fact the heavy drooling could have been a
result of gulping down a salty snack before napping. I needed to figure out a
way to get the information I needed out of him. I couldn’t just accuse him the
way I had AJ. Miss Jenny had warned me about that and if I did it again I might
just lose my snack privileges all together. I figured I would just test the
water before diving in. “Cheetos?” I asked in hopes that his reaction to the
word would give him away.
Miss Jenny laughed when Nick shot
straight up. At first the action seemed suspicious to me but when his face lit
up I felt a stinging disappointment. “Cheetos? Where? I want some! I haven’t
had those in forever!”
Strike two! Nick was way to hungry to
have already partaken of my treat. It couldn’t have been him. Miss Jenny set me
down and took the opportunity to flirt with her favorite Backstreet Boy. I
didn’t waist any time though and I used my freedom to search for clues. There
had to be some evidence somewhere that would lead me in the right direction.
Just to be sure, I looked all around
Nick for hints of crumbs, but there were none. His surroundings were clean, but
there was a trashcan. I’d all but given up on my theory of Nick being the
culprit and didn’t expect I’d find an empty chip bad in the reciprocal but I
looked anyway.
Rule number two – When looking for
evidence you must be thorough.
I glanced in the can and was shocked
at what I found. At first it didn’t look like much, a simple baby wipe, but
when I looked closer I recognized the orange residue that soiled the cloth.
Whoever took my precious Cheetos had been here and had used a wet wipe to rid
their fingers of the evidence.
I knew for certain now that it
couldn’t have been Nick. He never would have used such a device to clean his
hands. Because of his addiction to cheese, he simply would have licked his
fingers one by one, savoring every last precious hint of flavor he could. No,
Nick was not my offender.
My main suspect had been cleared of
the charges but the evidence had to tell me something. I analyzed the
information I’d gathered thus far and could come up with only one person, Mom!
I didn’t want to believe it but the signs seemed to point to her. She was the
only one who ever carried baby wipes and she was the only other person that was
in the lounge with us today. She could have easily taken off with my chips
after dropping me off with Ms. Jenny. My stomach churned at the thought of such
a betrayal from my own flesh and blood but…
With that in mind I had to find a way
to get Miss Jenny away from Nick so that I could find my mom. I looked around
and suddenly had the perfect idea. The trashcan was suddenly calling my name
and I reached in with a wicked grin on my face. I pulled the cheese stained
contents from the small can. I held the dirty napkin up to Jenny with a proud
smile. “Look Miss Jenny! Cheetos!”
“Baylee!” She exclaimed, “Put that
down! That’s yucky!”
“The kids got quite a nose for
cheese.” Nick laughed.
“Must take after his uncle Nick.” Miss
Jenny teased.
I smirked when Miss Jenny frowned and
pulled me into her arms. Adults are so scared of germs. She turned to Nick and
said. “We’ll have to finish this conversation later.”
“It’s alright I have to go get ready
for sound check now anyway. If I’m late Kev’ll have a hissy.” Nick replied.
“We’d better go wash your hands
now.” Miss Jenny said playing right into
my game.
“Hey Bayster, you better save me some
Cheetos!” Nick called as he headed for the dressing room.
I gave him a giggle. I had to keep up
with the cuteness factor since Miss Jenny wasn’t thrilled that I was digging
through the garbage. “You know better than to play in the trash.” She laughed.
4:49 PM – 11 minutes to sound check
She started for the bathroom and for a
minute I thought my brilliant plan was going to backfire on me. I never thought
about washing my hands in the sink. I had to think fast. “I want a wipie.” I
said giving her my best pout.
“Oh, I’m sorry Baylee. I don’t have
any wet wipes, but the sink works the same. We’ll get you nice and clean, then
we’ll got find you a new snack.”
“Mommy! Mommy!” I tried again with
urgency in my voice. Maybe if I started to get upset she would give me what I
want.
“What? Miss Jenny’s not good enough?”
“Mommy has wipies.”
This was my last shot. If she didn’t
buy it I was sure I would lose the trail and never find out who stole my snack.
Miss Jenny looked at me curiously. She was no fool. She knew I was up to
something and I was sure my plans were foiled. It was pure coincidence that my
mother turned the corner at that moment and headed toward us with a big smile
on her face. “Mommy! Mommy!” I called out not wanting her to pass us by.
“I thought I heard my little guy out
here.” She said holding her arms out.
“I need wipies!” I said tugging on the
purse that hung over her shoulder.
Mom reached into her purse where she
usually kept the disinfecting towels and when she retrieved them I would know
she was the one that took my Cheetos! She hesitated though and then
laughed. “I almost forgot!” she said, “I
gave them to Howie earlier. I think he’s in the dressing room.”
Bingo! I was relieved to figure out
that it was not my mother who was committing treacherous acts. And honestly,
Howie made much more sense. He’s been known to enjoy a snack every now and then
and he has almost a fetish for being clean. I should have known that he would
be the one to eat such a messy treat and then wipe himself free of the grease
with antibacterial towels. Howie! It had to be Howie.
Mom was in a hurry and she gave me a
quick kiss before handing me back to Miss Jenny. I watched as she ran off to
find my dad before sound check. I knew it wasn’t her. I looked back to the
woman who was now holding me and smiled. I knew she would lead me to the
perpetrator. She was still worried about cleaning my hands. She could have
easily still taken me to the bathroom to wash, but Mom said Howie was in the
dressing room and that was where Nick had scampered off to just minutes ago.
She ruffled my hair and then turned around. “Let’s go get you that baby wipe.”
She smiled.
I shook my head enthusiastically. I
was close; I could feel it. The sweet taste of victory would be mine shortly.
4:52 PM – 8 minutes to sound check
I was wild with anticipation as Miss
Jenny knocked at the dressing room. I wanted justice and I knew the guilty
party would be behind that door. “Come in!” came a muffled voice and Miss Jenny
slowly pushed the door open.
I was ready and waiting to catch Howie
with an empty bag of Cheetos on his dressing table but when I got there I was
proven wrong yet again. Mom was standing over his shoulder having just
reclaimed her case of wet wipes. She saw me and held out one out to me. “Here
you go Baylee.” She said with a smile.
I took the wipe just as Howie held his
comb up to the light to examine it. “You were right.” He said to Mom. “Who knew
baby wipes would get hair gel off my lucky comb?” he mused out loud.
“You’d be surprised how handy these
things are. Even if I didn’t have a two year old, I’d still carry them around
all the time.” Mom chuckled as she wiped my hands off for me. “You know, if you didn’t use quite so much
hair products, you wouldn’t have build up like that.” She teased.
So that’s what he was up to. He wasn’t
trying to clean his fingers at all. He was cleaning his lucky comb, figures.
How could I have been so stupid? Howie was way too much of a neat freak to eat
something as messy as Cheetos. He’d probably have to eat them with a fork and
knife.
I slumped onto a chair as soon as Mom
was done cleaning my hands. It appeared I had reached a true dead end and now I
would never know because in five minutes the Backstreet Boys would take the
stage for a handful of lucky contest winners and my Cheetos would be forgotten.
AJ breezed into the dressing room.
“Five minutes guys! You ready for this?” he asked cheerfully. Everyone in the
room was excited, everyone except me. I felt defeated. Not only did I not
figure out who scarffed my special treat, but now I wouldn’t be able to enjoy
them myself either. I sat in my chair sulking until something caught my eye.
AJ was wearing his watch. I walked up
to him with the wheels in my head beginning to turn faster and faster. I tugged
on AJ’s pant leg and he picked me up instinctively. “You’re watch?” I
questioned.
AJ’s face lit up. “Yeah!” he said,
“You’ll never guess where I found it.”
I gave him a curious look and he said,
“On the floor in the lounge right underneath your backpack. It must have been
sitting on the table when you started throwing things.”
The answer hit me like a ton of
bricks! It was then that I knew, without a doubt, exactly who had taken the
Cheetos! There was only one possibility and it made perfect sense. The Cheeto
Bandit was none other than my Uncle Kevin!
Being one of the biggest of the
Backstreet Boys his appetite rivaled that of Nick Carter and he was always on
the prowl for something to munch on. He had been one step ahead of me since I
began my journey as he gathered the guys together for sound check. He must have
come into the lounge while I was in the bathroom and left the watch on the
table knowing AJ would come there looking for it.
That’s when he saw the tempting
package sitting on top of my backpack. Seeing it completely unguarded, he
couldn’t resist such a treat and seized the moment. He devoured the snack on
his way to the dressing room where he then grabbed a wipie from Howie. He
continued to clean his fingers as he made his way to Nick. He woke Nick up and
then placed the cheesy evidence in the trashcan next to the couch where I would
find it only minutes later!
This was it! I’d found guilty party
and I could taste the victory. It tasted almost as good as the Cheetos would
have. My job, however, was not done yet. It was time to expose the crook for
the thief he was! But where to find him?
Just then, as if my thoughts had
called him to me, Uncle Kevin stepped through the door with my Dad.
5:00 PM – SHOWTIME!
I knew this was my only shot at the
truth and I knew I was right so I didn’t bother with pleasantries. “It was
you!” I screamed pointing my finger at the man towering over me. “You took
them!”
I could feel the looks I was receiving
from just about everyone in the room but I didn’t care! He was guilty and he
was going down! “Whoa there little buddy.” Uncle Kevin said crouching down to
my level. “What did I do?”
As he dropped to one knee I heard the
sound of a bag crinkling. Ah-hah! All the evidence I needed was just an arm’s
length away. I reached my hand into his jacket and pulled the empty orange bag
from his pocket. “You ate my Cheetos!” I demanded.
A look of guilt and remorse swept
across my Uncle’s face and I heard several gasps from the audience behind me.
“Those were your Cheetos?” Uncle Kevin asked as he wrapped his arms around me.
“I’m sorry Baylee. If I had known they were yours I never would have touched
them. I thought they were Nicks.”
There were several snickers about the
room and one huff of a protest coming from Nick. “So you wouldn’t eat Baylee’s
Cheetos, but you’d dig right in if they were mine?” he whined.
“I owe you for the egg roll you
snatched during rehearsals last week!” Kevin said making the room erupt with
laughter.
The moment was interrupted as the
stage manager appeared in the doorway. “Showtime!” he yelled.
Mom kissed Dad for luck and then one
by one the performers filed out of the room. Before he left Uncle Kevin gave me
one last hug and said, “I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”
And did he ever! After the sound check
he sent his assistant out to replace the snack he’d robbed me of. As I sat with
Miss Jenny watching the very first show from the sidelines, I looked down at
the soda and the king-sized bag of Cheetos I held and happily basked in my own
triumph. Yes, the victory was sweet and the Cheetos were even better.
In the end I came out better than I’d
started and I couldn’t help but think back on the days events. I’d been on an
adventure and solving the mystery had been thrilling. I licked the cheesy goo
from my finger with a smile and knew that this was just the beginning.
***