The Bet
By Roox
“Yeah, I’m no idiot!” Nick exclaimed after
declaring that he did know that he needed to turn the oven on to cook the
chicken.
“Why the hell are we doin’ this
anyway?” A.J asked leaning against the counter.
“Because Brian here had to go bet his
wife that we could indeed cook an edible dinner.” Kevin said while glaring at
Brian.
“Why on earth did ya do that?!” A.J
asked Brian, in utter shock.
“Cause I had the sudden urge! Where
were you when I was explaining this half an hour ago?!” Brian snapped.
“I was stuck on the word ‘cook’.” A.J confessed.
Nick chuckled “And some how I still
wind up being the ditzy one.”
A.J smacked Nick on the back of the
head.
“No fighting in the kitchen!” Kevin
warned them when Nick turned to steal his revenge.
“Aight,” Nick said turning back to the
oven to discover just how it worked.
“Aight?” A.J said “You turning all
ghetto on us?”
“Shut up and do something,” Nick said
turning the biggest knob on the oven all the way around. He then checked if he
had succeeded.
Brian looked down apprehensively at the
vegetables he had extracted from the fridge, “What do we do with these again?”
“I don’t know, cut them up?” Kevin suggested standing at the back of the
room, near the door, ready to run for his dear life if anything should happen.
“And then what?” Brian asked.
Kevin shrugged “I dunno dude…. One
step at a time.”
“I did it! IT’S ON!!!!” Nick exclaimed
ecstatic of his new achievement.
A.J clapped in sarcasm. “Hurray for
you.”
Nick stared at him, “wow man, what are
you on a roll?”
“Ha ha yes!”
A.J said gleefully.
“It’s only because I can’t beat you
up.” Nick said frustrated.
“You only ‘beat me up’ cause your
twice my size.” A.J mumbled.
“Aaaaaawwww
poor wittle A.J tired of bein’ a shortie?”
Nick asked mocking A.J in a baby voice.
“K! That’s it! A.J, come here and help
me cut the veggies! Nick… uuuuhhh… take out the
trash! “ Brian ordered.
“”Man! You sound like my mom… is it
happening to you too?!” Nick asked.
Brian glared at him.
Nick obeyed mumbling under his breath “And
the look too… real scary”
“Were the hell is D?!” A.J asked
picking up a knife and staring down at the raw vegetables as if they were
oversized roaches.
“I dunno he went to the bathroom,”
Brian said cutting up a carrot.
“20 minutes ago? Even Howie doesn’t
take that long.” A.J said.
“I’ll go look for him,” Kevin said
eagerly accepting his chance for freedom.
“You better come back!” Brian warned.
“Yeah, I will…. Of course.” Kevin
said.
“He aint,”
A.J said picking up a long cucumber and examining it, “how the hell do I cut
this anyway?”
“I have no idea… use your
imagination.” Brian said.
A.J made a face. “If only it was a
different color then…”
“Aje!! You
perv.” Brian said shaking his head. “C’mon man, get serious!”
A.J gave in and started chopping up
the green vegetable.
Nick and Howie both came in a while
after that in a deep discussion on how age slowly changes you.
“Oh give it up!” Brian said.
“We chopped up the veggies!” A.J said
proudly.
“Okay… where’s Kev?” Brian asked
Howie.
“I don’t know I haven’t seen him.”
Howie replied
“Told you he aint
coming back.” A.J said
“Well at least one of us made it out
alive,” Howie said, “have I stressed how much I HATE cooking?!”
“Yeah yeah,
gets your hair and nails ALL dirty.” A.J said.
“Ignore him…” Nick said, “he’s just
cranky, scared he’ll slip and die or the chicken will blow up in his face.”
Howie nodded, “oh.”
“Okay! I’ve decided that we’ll just
have buns, no rice.” Brian said.
Nick and A.J gigged at the word ‘buns’
from there corner.
“So now all we have to do is figure
out what to do with the chopped up vegetables.” Brian said.
“Make a salad?” Nick suggested.
“No, there not salad vegetables.”
Brian replied.
Nick frowned in confusion ‘salad
vegetables?’
“Just look through a cook book.” Howie
said.
They all scanned their surroundings in
search of… ‘the cook book’.
“WHAT? Ya’ll weren’t using a cook
book?! How’d ya cook?.... with the help of Nick’s suggestions!?!” Howie
exclaimed in horror.
“Hey…” Nick said offended.
“Kevin helped.” Brian said.
“Damn, you mean the only one that
could cook LEFT!?!” Howie said horrified by that prospect, “I’m scared,” he
confessed, slowly retreating to the door.
“Just go find the book!” Brian
snapped.
Howie did as he was told.
Soon, Howie found the cook book and
they all gathered, searching for a miracle recipe.
“Why don’t we just make soup?” Howie
asked.
“How?” Brian questioned.
“Blend them up?” Howie said.
“No, not fancy enough…” Brian said
flipping through the book.
“FANCY ENOUGH?!?!?” They all screamed
in unison.
“Man, we want to live and you want
FANCY!?” A.J said sacred of what this was leading to.
“Not that fancy… just…. Well, any
idiot can make soup.” Brian replied
“Not THIS bunch of idiots!” Howie objected.
“Shut up!” Nick and A.J said holding
on to any shred of dignity they had left.
“Ughhhh…
what about we make dessert?” Brian suggested closing the book and turning to
face them.
“YAAAAAY!!“ Nick said desserts were
always the favorite part of his meal.
“Okay then, we’ll make chocolate cake,
once Leigh made me help out so I know exactly how.” Brian reassured them.
“Oh great, just great.” Howie said.
After carefully following Brian’s
instructions they now stared down at, surprisingly, a good enough cake batter.
They poured it into a baking tray and placed it in the oven.
“There.” They smiled proudly at
themselves- nothing had yet blown up.
“Dangit."
Look at the time.” Brian said, “Leigh will be here in half an hour! Well we’ll just have to make soup.”
They all sighed in relief. They were
gonna make it.
Brian took out the blender then
hurriedly left for the bathroom, ”just put them in then turn it on!”
“Okay.” Nick said, “so we put the
vegetables in then the…. Uhhhh…. The frozen
pee-colored ice?”
“Pee-colored? Eeeeeewwww
man its FOOD. Gross.” Howie complained about Nick’s description of the chicken
stock.
A.J snickered “Girl.”
Howie rolled his eyes and decided that
he was too mature to answer back.
Nick had already put the vegetables
and the ‘pee-colored ice’ in the blender and was now at his favorite part-
blending them. “Farewell poor food-“ He turned on the machine a second to
early, he missed Howie yell, “PUT THE LID ON!!!!” So the food exploded in his
face, splattering the whole kitchen in an ocean of freezing, mushed vegetables.
“TURN IT OFF!!!” A.J yelled.
“I AM!!!” Nick yelled back switching
of the blender.
“You idiot.” A.J said, wiping the goul off him.
“MY HAIR!!!!” Howie bellowed.
“WHAT HAPPENED!?” Brian yelled from
the kitchen door.
“Ummmmmmm…
oops?” Nick said, smiling innocently in hopes of getting out of the hot spot he
had just thrown himself into.
“YOU DIMWIT!!!!” Brian bellowed.
“I’m sorry…” Nick said.
“SORRY!?!?! YOU’RE SORRY!!!!!” Brian
yelled.
“Ummmmm…
guys?” A.J said noticing the smoke escaping from the oven.
“Nooooo.” Brian said, feeling
defeated, he quickly took out the burnt chicken and set it on the counter. “We
forgot about it didn’t we?” Brian gloomily asked.
“Well what about the cake?” A.J asked,
taking out the cake he dipped his finger in the hot dough. Making a disgusted
face he asked, “smoked cake?”
“You’re screwed.” Nick said solemnly.
“MY HAIR!!!” Howie screamed, still in
shock why no one seemed to care.
“But there still might be a way…” A.J
said.
Leighanne walked into the dinning room
to find a neatly set table and an uneasy Brian. “Let the food testing begin!”
She said, “I’m starving.”
Brian nodded bringing out the dinner.
“Good food, babe.” Leighanne said, she
had finished eating a wonderfully cooked meal and was now bloated and content,
“okay you win… you and your friends can cook.” She said.
Noticing something glitter in his
eyes, guilt? She asked, “did you really-“.
“I didn’t.” He confessed.
“Then?”
“Restaurant.”
She shook her head.
“A.J made me…. He- he- BET me.” Brian
explained.
“Its okay baby, I’ll somehow find it
in me to forgive you.” She joked giving
him a kiss. She then smiled.
He took out a crisp 20 dollar bill.