Catch Me When I Fall
By Amy
Is there anybody out there?
Does anybody see?
That when the lights are off
Something’s killing me
The lobby was
deserted but then again it was five o’clock in the morning and most residents
at the Hard Rock Hotel were busy sleeping. Suddenly the revolving doors sprang
to life as a dark haired man fell through them and landed in a heap on the cold
tiled floor. He stayed there for a few moments and started hysterically
laughing as he was pulled up by his bodyguard.
“Whoa those things
move quickly,” he cackled as he was pushed forwards towards the elevator. He
swayed from side to side whilst waiting for the cart to arrive and chuckled to
himself as he did so.
Marcus rolled his
eyes as he looked at his boss and checked his watch. In three hours he had to
be up and ready for work. That was another fun part of his job getting A.J up
after a night out. When he first took the job that only occurred a couple of
times a week but recently it had become more frequent to the point where this week
they actually hadn’t had a night in and it was already Friday. Everyone was
well aware of the problem A.J had but it was just easier to not confront him
and sweep it under the carpet. This however was not making the problem
magically disappear; in fact it was making the problem worse. The more it was
ignored the more A.J retreated into himself and confided in his new best
friend, Jack Daniels.
I know it seems like people care
Cause they are always around me
But when the day is done
And everybody runs
The door shut and
for the first time today he was alone. The silence of the room was deafening
and he walked across to the mini bar to through himself another pity party for
one. Opening the small bottle of vodka he downed it in one, grimacing as it
burnt his throat on the way down.
Another tour,
another hotel, another night, another mini bar. He didn’t purposely plan to
come back and empty his mini bar it was just no one else wanted to do anything
else they all had other plans.
Brian and Kevin
had Leighanne and Kristin flying in. Howie was sick and was resting up in bed
and Nick was hanging with Aaron so what else was there to do? Being on tour he
had no other friends he could call and the dancers were busy rehearsing for a
new number that was being added.
Glancing down he
realised that there was quite a pile of empty bottles in front of him, he
realised sitting in and doing nothing was not going to make him feel better, so
grabbing his coat and wallet he headed for the door.
When the show is over
And its empty everywhere
It’s so hard to face
Going back alone
So I walk around the city
Anything, anything to clear my head
I’ve got nowhere to go
Nowhere but home
He realised that
New York was cold in winter and wearing just a leather jacket instead of a proper
coat had been a bit stupid on his part. He kept his head down, hoping no one
would recognise him, sneaking out without security had always been his forte
and tonight was no different. He knew that Marcus would eventually find him at
some stupid hour of the morning and drag his back to his hotel suite.
So many thoughts
plagued his head; he needed to clear them and this time in a more productive
way. He could show the guys he didn’t have a problem. He headed towards central
park in an effort to sit and clear his head but the neon light drew his
attention. What would one drink hurt?
It may seem I have everything
But everything means nothing
When the ride that you’ve been on
That you’re coming off
Leaves you feeling lost
She was so still
and so peaceful, just looking like she was sleeping. But she wasn’t, she was
gone, gone forever, never coming back. He stared at her form, lying in the bed
as silent tears crossed his face. She had been his confident, the one he could
talk to about anything and everything and it was then he realised this was the
time when he needed her the most.
She would never be
able to help him though, so what was the point? He may as well just slip deeper
into things now. He had everything he had ever craved as a child but he would
have traded them in a heartbeat just to be able to talk to her one last time.
All the wishing and bargaining in the world wasn’t going to bring her back he
decided as he headed out to get a fix that would help him numb the searing pain
in his heart. At least it would make him forget for a few hours.
Who will be the one whose there?
And not ashamed to see me crawl
Whose gonna catch me when I fall
“You know what I’m
through Alex, you hear me I hate you, you’re fucking dead to me. You’re a waste
of space and I hope to god I never lay eyes on you again.”
The yelling
subsided as did the persistent banging on the door and he realised that Kevin
had left. He slid down the wall and that was when it hit him, he did need help,
everything he had been bluntly told was true. He was a waste, a piece of crap
but he needed help. Getting up and opening the door he nearly fell over Kevin,
who was sitting against the wall opposite.
“I need help,”
were the words the came from his mouth in a whisper.
“Catch Me When I Fall” – Ashlee Simpson
