Chapter 11:
The Last Straw
I woke up the next morning and the
only thing I could think about was having to go to work and face Danny. I
didn’t want to. In fact I never wanted to see that motherfucker’s face ever
again. Well, I take that back, I wanted to see what it looked like after the
blood had time to rise to the surface of his skin. But after seeing the bruise,
that’s it! And I sure as hell didn’t want to speak to him. I couldn’t. I just
couldn’t.
I got ready a little early and stopped
by John’s house hoping to catch him before he left. I was in luck. He was
walking out the door when I pulled up. He saw me and hopped in the passenger
seat and I started making the drive across town. “Jesus Cindy. I gotta tell you
I’m glad to see ya. I half expected you to call and tell me you weren’t coming
back to work ever after that display you put on yesterday.”
“That’s why I’m here. Wanted to
explain myself when I told you I quit.”
“Cin! You can’t quit. I need ya.”
I really felt bad for John. The poor
guy always seemed to be stuck in the middle of me and Danny. It had to be hard
on the guy and with something as big as this I feared that there might not be a
way to stay friends with both of us. Danny John and I have been just that for
as long as any of us can remember. It hurt to think that our time together had
come to an end but we had to face the reality that all things come to an end
eventually. “Who are we kidding here?” I asked, “You know damn well that that
fight yesterday was about a lot more than the color of my hair.”
“I know that Cin, but you can’t just
not be friends anymore. You can’t just quit your job.”
“I’m not quitting because of Danny.”
John looked so confused and right then
I found myself wishing that I could be as good at dulling out the advice as
Brian seemed to be. Unfortunately I’ve never been any fucking good with words.
“Danny was right yesterday.” I said.
“Danny was an ass yesterday.”
“Yeah, but he was still right. There’s
something different about me. I’ve changed.”
“I like it.”
“Me too, but its made me stop and
evaluate my life.” I said, “I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, but things are
pretty shity for me. I think it’s time I got out of this hell hole.”
“Are you saying you’re gonna leave
Hanley?”
“I think so.”
I’d been giving myself this same
speech all night but until I said it out loud I wasn’t sure that’s really what
I wanted. But it felt so damn good to say it that I knew it had to be the right
thing. “I gotta get out of here.” I said with renewed excitement. “I gotta get
away from my parents. I gotta get away from Hal and that damn bar. I have to
get away from my own fucking reputation. God, there’s a whole fucking world out
there and I’ve never seen it. I just don’t think I can be happy here, not
anymore and I deserve to be happy.”
I pulled into the shop as I finished
my speech and I turned off the car. John looked crushed but after a minute he
smiled at me. “You know I don’t want you to go, but if anyone deserves to be
happy, its you Cindy.” He said. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
“Thanks John.” I said.
We kind of had an awkward silence for
a minute. It’s like we knew it was time to say goodbye but neither of us knew
how. We just sat there fucking staring at each other wishing the other would
say something. He looked at me expectantly and I just shrugged. That’s when Danny pulled up. All of my anger
resurfaced at the sight of him. He looked at us and then headed straight
inside. Just seeing him made my head start to hurt. I leaned over the steering
wheel and buried my face in my hands.
John sighed deeply and I knew I wasn’t
getting out of there without talking to Danny. I knew John would make sure of
that. I understand you have to go.” He started, “But you can’t eave this the
way they are with Dan. You guys are practically family.”
“Not anymore.” Part of me knew that
was not true. Danny and I were always fighting about something. It took us a
month to get past John and I sleeping together, but we still got past it. I
wanted to believe that this was no different but it felt so final.
“You still love him don’t you?”
I looked at John wanting so much to
say no but I couldn’t. Danny’s the closest thing to family I’ve got. I can’t
just forget over a quarter of a century of memories. The fact that I couldn’t
say a damn thing was all the answer John needed. He smiled a fucking “you know
I’m right” look and then said, “You’re not leaving right this second, so why
don’t you come help me fix that Beemer. You know I’m terrible with German cars
and I know you got a soft spot for that city boy.”
I looked nervously at the shop where I
knew Danny was inside still fuming. “Dan will get over it Cin. He’s just
jealous.”
“Jealous?” I couldn’t help but gasp.
Did john really think he was jealous? What did he possibly have to be jealous
of?
John fucking read my thoughts and
chuckled to himself. “He’s never had to share ya before. Not with anyone but me
and you know that doesn’t count.”
I wasn’t quite convinced but John
insisted. He got out of the car and came around and opened mine. “Come on Cin,
at least try.”
I followed him inside. What the fuck
was I supposed to do? We went inside and Danny was already under the hood of a
Chevy that had been towed in over the weekend. He didn’t bother to look up when
we walked through the garage to the office and I was kind of glad he didn’t. I
slipped on my spare set of work overalls and pulled my hair back through my
ball cap. John handed me a cup of coffee and we went to work.
I went straight to work on Brian’s car
and stayed there for two hours until it was fixed. I’d barely said five words
to John and hadn’t once even glanced Danny’s direction. It was quite a dismal
fucking day in the shop. When I was finished I called Brian to let him know his
car was done. Leighanne answered the phone and she had so much to tell me that
she began rattling off the moment she knew it was me. She wanted to know if I
was going to come to the ball and didn’t wait to hear the answer before telling
me that she’d found me the perfect dress. I couldn’t help but laugh at the
sheer fucking giddiness that woman could display. She’s a fucking riot. “Slow
down Leigh.” I laughed, “I’m just calling to let you know the car’s ready.”
Leighanne said she and Brian would
come right over and she was excited to bring Baylee with her. I laughed and
told her I was excited to finally meet the little tyke and then hung up the
phone. I turned around to make my way to the office to gather all the paperwork
and I met Danny’s gaze. His stare was fucking piercing. I think he was
literally trying to use heat vision to make my head explode like he was fucking
Superman or something. “Since when do you like kids?” he laughed bitterly.
“Don’t know that I do. Ain’t never
fucking been around one before.” I spat and headed for the office.
Now, John’s a good man; the patience
of a saint but that day Danny and I found his breaking point. I guess all the
tension was too much because as I stormed off to the office, he grabbed Danny
and fucking dragged him in behind me. He slammed the door shut and blocked the
way for either of us to escape. “You two quit acting like a couple of fucking
babies!” he yelled.
Danny and I were both shocked. John
just isn’t the type of guy to be strong-arming anybody but he was pretty fed
up. He looked at Danny and yelled, “Cin’s got some new friends. Deal with it!”
then he looked my way, “And you! Whether you meant to or not you hurt his
feelings! So both of you, say you’re fucking sorry and get the fuck over it!”
John stormed out of the office and
slammed the door shut behind him. Danny and I couldn’t do anything but stand
there, blinking at each other. I have to admit, I was tired of this bullshit. I
looked at his face and felt guilty at how swollen it was. I learned a long time
ago that if you hit the cheekbone right underneath the base of the eye, it’s
pretty easy to chip the bone. It hurts like a bitch and looks just as bad. I
could see that there was guilt in Danny’s eyes as well but I was surprised that
he was the first to break the silence. “I’m sorry I called you… well… you
know.”
“I’m sorry about your face.” I
replied. “It’s not broken is it?”
“You always did know how to throw a
punch.” He said with a smirk, “But on the bright side, they gave me some good
shit for the pain. If you want to come over and get drunk and watch Millionaire
tonight I’ll share some with ya.”
I was still pretty angry but I
couldn’t help the smirk on my face. We smiled at one another and walked out of
the office both feeling a tiny bit better. We still had a long fucking way to
go. We by no means had any kind of closure, but we apologized for the obvious,
so I guess that was a start even if the deeper issues did go unspoken. What did
you expect? We’re a couple of fucking guys. Well, sorta. You know what I
mean.
Anyway, about five minutes after that
we heard cars pull up to the shop. I knew it was probably Brian and Leighanne
and I was nervous. I knew that was just going to piss Danny off all over again.
At the same time though, I was excited to see them.
Leighanne was the first one inside the
garage and I saw the three fucking stooges following close behind. Leighane
giggled when she saw me and threw her arms around me. “So are you going to come
Cindy? Please tell me you’re going to come?”
“I don’t know.” I hesitated.
“Come where?”
I groaned on the inside at the sound
of Nick’s voice. Leighanne turned to him and said, “To the charity ball,
silly.”
Then Leighanne turned to me and said,
“You have to! I found you the perfect dress and I’ve already made appointments
with my stylist to have our hair done up.”
“OH God!” Nick groaned as Brian
arrived carrying the most adorable little boy I’ve ever seen in my life. “Hey
Cindy!” He chirped happily.
I don’t know what the hell put him in
such a good mood, but there was a fucking glow about his face that made me
laugh. When I laughed, he and his son both laughed and I tell you that kid is
the spitting image of his father. A fucking precious sight really.
“I don’t think that’s such a good
Idea.” Nick continued, “Do you know what your wife said after the last time she
spent the day with this woman?”
Brian giggled and threw his arm around
me. He grinned wickedly and then said, “I don’t care what she said, this little
lady right here is allowed to spend the day with my wife any time she wants!”
Brian practically sang the words and
then winked at me. I laughed as I shook my head at him. “Your wife cooked you
up a little something special in the kitchen last night didn’t she?” I said
fucking impressed that Leighanne did it.
Brian blushed fiercely and I laughed.
I looked at Leighanne. She walked up to me and whispered in my ear, “Between
you and me I’ve never been much of a cook, but I do owe Brian a new shirt.”
Leighanne and I burst into laughter
together and stopped when we met the curious looks of her friends. Nick looked
at Brian and pointed at us. “That’s what I’m talking about. Do you really want
to put up with that all night?”
“Come on Nick!” Brian said putting a
hand on his shoulder. “Remember what we talked about. We love Cindy and we’re
going to be nice from now on.”
Brian spoke to the fucker like he was
a three year old and Howie, AJ and I all snickered at the pout on his face.
Brian smiled at me and said, “Nick promises to behave himself and it would
break Leighanne’s heart if you don’t come, so what do ya say?”
I stood there with everyone staring at
me and I could feel John and Danny’s eyes on my back. I looked at Leighanne and
she was biting her lip with anticipation. Then I looked at Nick who was still
pouting like a god damn two year old. Hell, going might be worth it just to
make that bastard fucking miserable all night. Then my eyes caught Howie’s. He
smiled at me and nodded his head urging me to say yes. With the look he gave
me, how could I possibly say no. “OK,” I finally gave in, “I’ll go but I’m
afraid I don’t really know how to dance.”
“It’s not hard. All it takes is the
right partner.” Leighanne said and not so subtly nudged Howie a little closer
to me.
“You did fine the other night, but I could
teach you if you’d like.” Howie said with a hint of redness in his cheeks.
So, it was Howie I danced with. Fuck,
how come I had to be so god damned drunk that night? I’ve never really cared for
dancing much but the thought of Howie’s arms around me sounded like something I
didn’t want to miss. “Sounds like fun.” I replied.
“I can’t listen to any more of this
shit!” Danny yelled startling me free from the spell Howie seemed to have me
under.
“Here we fucking go again!” I yelled
turning my attention to Danny. “Do I need to kick you fucking ass again?”
Leighanne’s face paled and she took
her toddler from her husband’s arms. “You want to do drive the car Baylee?” she
asked making the kid squeal.
I think she just wanted to get him
away from all the four letter words. I felt bad about swearing in front of her
kid but shit I can’t even begin to describe how pissed off I was. “Jesus Cindy!
These people aren’t your friends. Look at what they’re doing to you! They’re
treating you like you’re a fucking doll or something. Like you’re their
goddamned pet.”
“What the fuck do you care?”
“Listen to yourself! Shopping and
dancing and a fucking ball? Are you fucking kidding me? Cin! Please! This isn’t
you.”
“Maybe not.” I said. “But getting
drunk to Millionaire every night seeing how many times I can use the word fuck
in a single sentence isn’t me either.”
“Never bothered you before.” Danny
said coldly, “These people have changed you Cindy. They didn’t turn you into a
girl, they turned you into a fucking bitch.”
“Yeah well, you reached ass hole
status all by yourself. Congrat-u-fucking-lations.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. “I’m out
of here.” I said. “I’m leaving Hanley. Forever. I never want to see you again.”
“Cindy?” Danny gasped, suddenly
becoming worried. Did he miss the conversation we just had? Well I sure as hell
didn’t and I wasn’t about to get all sentimental now.
“Go to hell Danny.” I whispered and
then walked out of that shop for the last time.
***