Chapter 6:
Just Another Girlie Girl
The next morning was Saturday. The
shop was always closed on Saturdays but I’d been getting up early every morning
for so long now that I couldn’t sleep in no matter how much I wanted to. By
eight o’clock I was up, showered and pacing my trailer wishing I had something
to do to keep my mind off of him. Them actually. Nick, AJ and Howie. Even Brian
had me stumped. I didn’t know what my problem was and I didn’t know what I
wanted. All I did know was I needed some fucking air.
I went to the only place I could think
of where I could really clear my head; the shop. I had my own keys and John
wouldn’t care so I figured I’d get a head start on Brian’s very expensive piece
of shit Beemer.
As much as I loved working with Danny
and John, it never compared to being there all alone. I never felt more at
peace than when it was just me and the car. Everything was so quiet and I could
really just let my mind run any direction it felt it needed to go. Of coarse
today it immediately ran in the direction of the city, or, city boys anyway.
I’ve never really been one to be boy
crazy and I’m not sure if that’s really what this was, but no question about
it, those boys were driving me fucking crazy! Somehow, ever since they showed
up I don’t seem to know which end is up and I can’t figure out why. It’s not
like I even like any of them. Sure that AJ guy is fine and I’d fuck him in a
heartbeat, but I’ve seen him what, twice? We haven’t even been introduced. At
least not that I can remember. And Nick, so not my type at all and yet we end
up sleeping together? What’s that about? Then there’s Howie. I don’t think I
need to remind you why he has me going nuts.
Even more than just these guys showing
up and turning my life upside down, I was bothered by something else; a deeper
issue. Something about those guys made me think. The way they talked to me, and
treated me, they were like no one I’ve ever met before. I couldn’t help but
wonder how different life outside of Hanley really was.
All the sudden I was questioning
everything about my life. What the fuck was I still doing in this town anyway?
I’m 28 years old and still living in a shitty trailer with my mom. Those guys
were my age. That Nick guy actually looked younger than me. They all had so
much and Brian had a fucking family already.
What was I doing with my life?
Nothing. I was pissing it away with Danny and John and never even questioned
whether or not there was more out there. What did I want out of life? Did I
want a husband and children like Brian had? Did I want a better job or a house
of my own? Did I want to see what life was like outside of my tiny little hick
town?
Fuck, I don’t know. I mean life’s not
so bad. I have Danny and John. We’ll always have fun no matter how shitty
things are. And my jobs not so bad. Either of them really. I love cars and
working with my two best friends instead of under the watchful eye of some
prick of a boss on a power trip is all anyone could ask for. I knew I had it
good there. I didn’t even mind the small town. I knew everyone in it and with
the exception of my fucked up parents and one or two others like Pete the pervert
tow-truck man, they were all pretty good guys.
I guess what was really bothering me
was the thought of finding love. I’ve always just ignored the idea because I
knew there was no way in hell I would find it with anyone in this fucking town.
I’d all but accepted that Danny, John and I would live out the rest of our
pitiful lives together but alone.
But the truth is, although I would
never admit it to anyone, I wanted love. Real honest to god, spend the rest of
your life with the same man, love. Seeing Brian’s face light up when he showed
me the picture of his wife made me feel jealous. I wanted that. I wanted to be
able to make love to a man, not just have meaningless sex, however hot it may
be. Pathetically, the way Howie touched me the other day in the hallway of the
fucking Ritz Carlton was the closest I’ve ever come to that. God it felt so
good. Ever since then I just can’t stop thinking about how much I want to be in
love. I’m desperate for it.
I’m also completely terrified of it.
It didn’t work out so well for my mom and I don’t exactly have the best luck in
the world. I’ve got more trust issues than a fucking parole officer. I wouldn’t
even know where to start to let someone get close enough to love them. Shit I’m
probably not even capable of loving someone; not like that. “Fuck it.”
That’s right, those quotation marks
are supposed to be there. I said that out loud. Don’t act so surprised, who the
fuck doesn’t talk to themselves every now and then? “Fuck it, fuck it, fuck
it!” I continued to spat from underneath the jacked up car. “Fuck them! Fuck
them all! I don’t fucking need them. I don’t fucking need him.”
Yup, spouting profanity to myself was
really helping. I was starting to feel better already. “You know what? Fuck
Howie! Fuck Howie and his fucking soft touch! Fuck his sweet smile and his
fucking miracle hangover juice!” Ok wait, don’t fuck the miracle juice, that I
could use, but fuck the rest of it!
“Um, excuse me? Hello?”
The voice was tiny and sounded
nervous, but it came out of nowhere and totally scared the piss out of me. Even
lying flat on my back I jumped sky high. Unfortunately, the underbelly of
Brian’s car was a lot closer than the sky and I smacked into it with full
force. “Fuck!” I screamed dropping the tools in my hand with a loud clanking
noise.
“I’m really sorry to bother you, but,
um, there was no one in the office…”
The woman’s voice trailed off when I
slid out from under the car. She shyly took a step back and although she was
nervous she smiled the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. She was fucking
angelic looking. She had this long radiant blonde hair that fell perfectly
around her shoulders and it seemed to be glowing. I’m pretty sure it was just
my eyes adjusting to the light that was shining over her shoulders. Either way
it didn’t take a genius to figure out that this was the picture perfect model
wife of the ever so charming owner of a certain broken down BMW.
I had to admit, even though she
intimidated the shit out of me, I was curious as hell to meet her. Her hair was
curled, her nails manicured, and her skirt matched her jacket and her shoes.
High fucking heels! I wonder if she always looks like that.
I glanced down at my grease stained
garage overalls looking for a clean place to wipe my hands off. “You have to be
Leighanne.”
I was surprised when she shook my
dirty hand without even hesitating. She was surprised by my comment but her
face lit up with excitement. I think she was relieved that I wasn’t going to
bite her head off or something. “Yeah, that’s me. And you’re the infamous
Cindy. Your reputation precedes you.”
“It can do that sometimes.”
“Are you kidding? Ever since the guys
got here I don’t think we’ve had a conversation that didn’t include you.”
At this point I cringed. God only
knows what they’ve told her about me. “Sorry if I caused a ruckus. I know a
couple of them probably aren’t very happy with me right now.”
I was surprised that such a big laugh
came from such a small body. “Oh my God!” she laughed in a deep southern
accent, “I’ve never seen Nick so pissed. And AJ and Howie surely didn’t help
with all the laughing and the teasing and the name-calling.”
I was glad she found it all so
amusing. After all, Nick was her husband’s best friend. I was worried that
she’d be a little upset, but she thought it was hysterical. That surprised me.
If it was me and Danny got pummeled by a girl like that you bet your ass I’d
think it was funny. Especially if he deserved it. I’d give him all kinds of
hell for it. But that’s me and I ain’t exactly all prim and proper like she is.
“Can I tell you something? Just between us girls?” Leighanne asked still giggling a little.
I was right about the giggling thing,
Leighanne seemed to be an expert at it. And now she was gossiping with me.
Shit, this sounded like girl talk and she’d only been there for two minutes.
She was the most feminine woman I’d ever met. I felt my skin starting to crawl
and normally this would be the part where I found an excuse to get the hell out
of there, but I was so curious about what she could possibly have to tell me.
The only thing we had in common was
her husband and his city boy friends and I was dying to hear what she had to
say about them. I stared curiously as she looked around the garage. It was like
she was afraid someone might here us or something. Then giggled again. “I was
kind of glad when the guys told me what happened to Nick.” Kind of glad? Was
this guy that big of a prick that his best friend’s wife was happy someone
knocked the shit out of him?
This woman was a very strange
creature. I could see it in her eyes that she felt guilty about what she was
saying and yet at the same time she was trying not to laugh. I couldn’t figure
her out for nothing. She was the poster child for all things I hate about girls
and yet I didn’t automatically loathe her. It was kind of like she was some
fairy princess on the outside and had this inner wild-child screaming to get
out. “I love Nick to death but he’s got one of the biggest egos I’ve ever
seen.” She explained to me, again suppressing her own laughter, “He shouldn’t
have done what he did to you but normally he can get away with it. I’m glad
someone finally put him in his place.”
“Happy I could be of some assistance
then.” I joked.
“We should keep you around more
often.” Leighanne said no longer holding back from her laughter, “They could
all use a little deflation sometimes.”
“Not Brian.”
Leighanne laughed even harder. “Yup,
even Brian. It just happens when you spend so many years getting everything you
want. He’s just not as bad as the others because he has me to burst his bubble,
and trust me, I’ve done it plenty.”
“Yeah right. If Brian has an ego,
you’re the reason for it. He should just wear that picture of you around his
neck as much as he takes it out of his wallet.”
Leighanne blushed and a grotesque
smile spread across her face as she thought about her loving husband. Those two
were sick. Is it even possible for two people to be so happy? I would have
thought no, but these two were fucking crazy. Leighanne snapped from her
daydream and grinned wickedly at me, “Well you know how it is to be cursed with
so much beauty.”
Was she serious? I can’t even count
how many things were wrong with that statement. And why the hell was she
shaking her finger at me? “Don’t you dare try to deny it.” She said, “I’m sure
you have every man in this town at your disposal.”
“Huh?” I wish I could have been a little
bit more articulate but I was fucking confused. Was she blind?
“You are every bit as pretty as I am.”
Oh god somebody help me, this woman
was completely psycho! And she was doing that girl thing where they tell each
other how pretty they are just because they can. Maybe I was wrong about her.
Maybe she really was just another girlie-girl.
I had no idea how to respond to that
statement. I mean look at me, I could never compare to someone like her and I
wasn’t about to say that I could. But I didn’t need to go fishing for
compliments either so I didn’t want to deny it. I was completely flustered and
did the only thing I could think of, I changed the subject. “Is there something
you needed?”
“Yeah, the guys left my gown in the car and I was
hoping I could get it before it starts to smell. Knowing those guys, there’s
probably a half eaten cheeseburger under the seat fusing the smell of grease
permanently into my Versace.”
Gown? Versace? Oh my god. Who the hell
was this woman, Julia Roberts? I opened the door for her and she pulled out a
long garment bag. Her face lit up as she unzipped it. “I can’t wait to wear it!
Brian’s foundation is holding a charity ball this Friday.” She said showing me
the dress as if I were as excited about it as she was, and her goddamned giggle
was back. “I’ll admit it was a little expensive, but I have to make my hubby
proud. He’s put so much work into this event.”
Now the princess was talking about a
ball! Rich people and their fucking fairy tale lives! Maybe I should be calling
her Cinderella. The dress she was holding was beautiful though and for a moment
I wondered what it would be like to wear something like that. I couldn’t
imagine how much she must have spent on it. Probably more than I make in a
year. Even I wouldn’t look to bad in something like that.
I wondered about the dress just a
second too long and when Leighanne’s eyes narrowed at me I groaned on the
inside. Damn. She wasn’t just beautiful she was smart to. She knew exactly what
I was thinking. “That rough exterior doesn’t fool me. Every girl deserves to
feel beautiful. You know, if we cleaned you up a little you would knock the
socks off of any man.”
Oh God! I was blushing. What the hell
was wrong with me? I beat up chicks who say shit like that, not blush from the
compliment. Either this woman was casting some sort of magical spell over me,
or I just wasn’t nearly as tough as I used to be. Sadly, I knew it was the
second. I had nearly cried two or three times in the last couple days.
I don’t know what was causing the
change inside me, but I was scared of it. I didn’t know how to be a girl. I
didn’t know how to be friends with a girl. And I didn’t know how I would go on
with my life if I turned into one, but found myself fucking curious what it would
be like if I were a little more like Leighanne.
Leighanne’s face lit up suddenly and
she began hoping up and down squealing giddily. “Oh my God I have the best
idea!” she said grabbing both of my hands as she continued her hoping. Ok,
maybe I didn’t want to be that muck like her.
I pulled my hands away before I could
start jumping up and down with her. Seriously, this woman was slightly crazy.
“Let’s go into town today for some girl time. I’ve been desperate to find a
salon since we moved. We’ll go shopping and have full makeovers done. I haven’t
done that in so long!”
“I don’t think so.” I said trying not
to laugh. Spending time with another girl was one thing, but shopping and
salons and makeovers? Hell no!
“Aw come on, you have to! My treat,
I’m going to prove to you that you are gorgeous.”
“I’m not gorgeous.”
Fuck! There I go. I’m doing it. I’m
refusing her compliment. I sound so fucking insecure. Now she’s never going to
let up. “Look I appreciate it, but let’s face it, I just ain’t worth the
hassle.”
“Howie doesn’t think so.” Leighanne
said grinning wickedly at me.
I froze and my face turned beat red. I
wanted to kick myself for being so goddamned obvious, but I couldn’t help it.
Howie had me so twisted up inside that just the mention of his name turned me
into an emotional wreck.
When Leighanne saw my reaction she
smiled victoriously. I was busted. “But I have work I’ve got to finish.” I
tried to protest but Leighanne only grew more confident.
“The sign out front says you’re
closed, and that’s my car your working on and I say it can wait.”
I was desperately trying to think of
more excuses but I just couldn’t. In fact, my brain actually began trying to
sway me the other direction. After all, I did have to go into town to pick up
my mother anyway, and I would probably never have another chance in my life to
do anything like this. Plus, just yesterday I was so desperate for a girl to
talk to that I resorted to my mother. Maybe Leighanne wouldn’t be so bad after
all.
Leighanne smiled when she realized
she’d gotten her way. She anxiously waited for me to close up the shop. I
didn’t have a clue what the hell was about to happen to me but as much as I
hated to admit it, I was kind of excited.
***