Chapter 6
Nick wasn’t too pleased with the
fact he had to stay in the hospital another day for observation. The night
dragged on and there wasn’t anything good on any of the channels. He thought
back to Kevin, to Brian, the way he’d treated them. The way they stayed with
him till visiting hours were over all the same. He knew he didn’t deserve them,
that he wasn’t good enough for them. Nick sighed as he sat up slowly in his
bed, ignoring the pain that flashed through him. The doctor had said he’d
broken a few ribs.
What really shocked him, was that he’d been in a
coma for a full week. For some reason, he was sure it had only been two days.
Where he got that thought from, he couldn’t quite remember. Christmas was in
two days, and any plans Nick thought he could have of course were gone. Not
that he’d had any beyond avoiding the Carter clan.
He glanced at the
phone beside his bed. He could call people of course. Nick knew most wouldn’t
be pleased at being woken up at two in the morning, but he couldn’t sleep. He
felt restless. Anytime he felt restless, it never led to anything good - clubs,
women, drugs, trouble. Nick got restless because otherwise he’d start thinking,
and thinking, simply put, got depressing. He continued to channel surf until
settling on E!, a decision he immediately regretted.
Ex-Backstreet Boy Nick Carter
has been reported to have woken up today. The twenty-six year old was recently
in a crash after leaving LA Nightclub – Mood, clearly under the influence of
drugs and alcohol. No word has been reported on the charges that may be brought
against him once recovered.
“Great…fucking
perfect.” He muttered and changed the channel. TMZ was on and in morbid
curiosity; he left it there when he thought he heard his name. Nick knew it
couldn’t be anything good right then. But there wasn’t much on and he figured
it’d be better to know. Then he saw himself, coming out of the nightclub that
night. He’d been stumbling everywhere, ranting, raving, looking like the fool
he never saw himself as. He blinked, staring at a man who looked ready to
collapse.
“That was me that
night?”
“Not the best
image, is it?”
Nick jerked at the
sound and winced immediately at the pain it caused. To his surprise it wasn’t
who he expected. AJ stood in the doorway, smirking as he shut the door behind
him and went to sit down. He frowned at his thought. Who had he
been expecting? He mentally shrugged it off and glanced back over at his
friend. He was fiddling with the sunglasses he’d just taken off. It made Nick
want to chuckle – middle of the night and AJ still couldn’t bear to give up his
beloved shades. How typical.
“How did you get in
here? They kicked Brian and Kevin out.”
AJ smirked. “I
charmed the right nurses, explained to them I didn’t get a chance to see you.
Signed a few autographs…”
“And people think
we’re has-beens…”
“Our fans grew up.
They’re teachers and nurses and shit now. Anyway, they let me in as long as I
stay quiet. There’s this pretty little number at the front desk who I’d love to
get to know better…”
“Aren’t you dating
Katie?”
“Your point?”
“None, just
checking.”
AJ grabbed the
remote from him and changed the channel to some late night talk show before
setting his gaze on Nick. The eyes always hidden behind the sunglasses always
had an ability to see right through a person. It was eerie, how much it
reminded him of Kevin’s own piercing stare.
“You shouldn’t be
watching that shit.”
“Why not, people
will say it to me anyway; better to know ahead of time.”
“You enjoy watching
yourself like that? Jesus Nick…even at my worst I didn’t come that close to…to…”
…To getting myself killed. Nick finished mentally. Except you did AJ, I just
don’t think you ever knew it.
“I know.” Was what
he said instead, having known that’s what his friend wanted to hear. Even if AJ
was being a bit of a hypocrite in his opinion, he said what he knew was
expected, rather than what he wanted to tell him. He wanted the fellas close,
despite how he kept them at a distance.
“I asked the nurse
if they knew when you’d be let out. They said tomorrow, they’re just keeping an
eye on you in case there’s any complications. You know how close you cut it?”
Nick laughed
humorlessly. “Let’s see, a broken arm, a few broken ribs, enough cuts and
bruises to last a lifetime…a head injury that knocked me into a coma… I think I
know.”
“You got off lucky.”
Nick just nodded,
his eyes shifting back to the television again. Now it was showing Jerry
Springer and he wanted to laugh. It was like watching his own family. If he
concentrated hard enough, the woman on stage screaming could easily be his
mother. His father would be the one on the other end with another woman, trying
to defend his actions as Jane tried to attack him. His siblings would be in the
audience, watching stoically. And Nick? Nick knew he’d be on stage, trying to
talk sense into both of them only to be ignored.
“Nick, did you hear
me?”
“What?”
“I asked if you
knew what you were doing for Christmas.”
“Do I ever?”
AJ went silent. Nick
knew what AJ’s plans were; he’d be flying out to Florida to spend it with his
mom. It was a yearly tradition for AJ anytime he wasn’t busy touring the world.
Denise McLean had always been one of Nick’s several surrogate mothers growing
up, but he never felt comfortable imposing on them during the holidays. And
now, even he wanted to, he couldn’t fly in this condition and they both knew
it.
“Dude I can-“
“No, go home to do
your thing. I’ll be alright.”
AJ’s brow rose
dubiously, without saying a word.
“Seriously, I’ll be
fine. I’m sure Howie or Kevin will be bugging the shit out of me.” Nick pretty
much assumed now that he was awake, Brian would be flying home. It was a
depressing thought but nothing really surprising. If anything he was surprised
Brian was still in town because of him. Though he wouldn’t say that aloud, of
course.
“I think Brian was
talking about staying in LA too.”
“Oh.” The response
may have been noncommittal, but he couldn’t quite hide the smile. Brian
would’ve been the option he’d pick, even with Leighanne getting in the way.
Anytime he saw Kevin, he just wanted to know what right he had to boss him
around now that he left the group. As for Howie, he loved Howie, he did, but he
knew Howie would want to spend time with Leigh. He’d be just another third
wheel. At least with Brian he’d be able to play with Baylee. It was sad, he
knew, knowing that the only people he really considered family, still saw him
as a burden. None would it admit it obviously.
Nick just knew.
***
“Mr. Carter! Good
morning.”
Nick blinked his
eyes open slowly. He glanced around for AJ but didn’t see him. He must have
left when he’d fallen asleep. When did that happen? Nick didn’t even remember
beginning to doze off. He sighed, maybe it was the medication the doctors had
him on. He glanced up the nurse tending to him and checking the various
monitors he wished he wasn’t hooked up to.
“Morning...” he
mumbled, staring at her. She looked familiar.
“Something on your
mind?”
He shook his head.
She looked young, too young to be a nurse there. But there was just something
that reminded her of someone, he just couldn’t think of whom. In some ways she
almost looked like Leslie, with her long blonde hair down in loose waves,
impish blue eyes. Yet, she had a look about her, a look of another time. It was
throwing him off base.
“No, I’m alright…”
He read her name tag, “Grace.”
Why do I feel like I know her?
She grinned. “Good,
I’d hate to have to keep you in here another day. It’s bad enough you’re here
on Christmas Eve, but we should have you out of here in the next few hours.”
She jotted down some notes. “I’m not seeing a reason to keep you here and I’m
sure the doctor won’t either.”
“Good, I’m sick of
this place.”
“This isn’t exactly
what I’d call cheery, so I can’t blame you.”
“It’s a fucking
hellhole.” He said angrily, feeling bitter about everything once again. Like
the fact he hadn’t seen his family once in the hospital. At least, not awake.
He was told his siblings stopped by when he was still in a coma. Nick just
wished they were willing to bother when he was actually awake. He was sure
there’d be calls waiting from them, pretending they cared just like everyone
else in his life.
“I’m sure, though
if you made better choices, maybe you wouldn’t be in here.” She stated smugly
while Nick’s brows rose. Who was she to say that about him? She didn’t know
him, she didn’t know anything. His temper flared and it only took rising too
quickly to painfully remind him that he wasn’t exactly able bodied right then.
“Who the hell are
you to say that?!”
“I’m sorry, but
it’s the truth. Besides, the world’s saying far worse, you need to not care
what people think of you, famous or not.”
Her calmness only
infuriated him further. “You don’t get it.”
“I get more than
you think Nick. And, like it or not, you better get used to me.”
“Get used to you?
I’m leaving today! And why is it you act like you know me and I feel like I
know you?!”
“Really? Hmm, maybe
it was in those dreams of yours.” Grace replied with a smirk before sauntering
out of the room. He watched her go, trying to make sense of her words, trying
to place her. It didn’t take long. Her head popped in at the precise moment the
memories, all of them, came flooding back to him. She smiled at him. A familiar,
genuine, Carter trademark smile.
“You there yet?”
His mouth hung open
as he floundered for words. No, no way. Shit like this
doesn’t happen. I’m insane. That’s it. There’s no god, no annoying fucking
angel. No. Or I’m still in a coma, still dreaming.
“No, it does. No,
you’re not insane – yet. There is a God and He’s trying to help you
even though you don’t believe. Why do you think I’m here?” She rolled her eyes,
placing her hands on her hips as she eyed him.
“Why, why me?”
“Because for some reason
Nicky Boy, you’ve still got some potential.” She winked, before vanishing right
before his eyes in a vision of light. That was when he screamed. He just
couldn’t take it. All of it was simply too much for him to wrap his head
around.
Brian came racing
through the doors. He’d been coming by for his daily visit. “Nick! Nick! Jesus,
you scared the life out of me, are you alright?”
Nick shook his
head. “No, she was there, and she...she…”
“Who was there?”
At that he paused,
what could he say? They’d have him committed. He knew how he sounded. So he
shook his head and calmed himself down. It was the best he could do. Maybe it
was the medicine. They were giving him some pretty heavy drugs for the pain
before, though they’d been weaning him off so he could go home. Withdrawals
maybe? The excuse was weak, but he’d take it. Anything to explain it away.
Stuff like that can cause
hallucinating right? Yeah, maybe that’s it. Something deep inside of him knew the
truth however, even if his conscious self refused to admit it.
“Nothing man, it
was just…a dream.”
If only.
***