Chapter
1
“Hey AJ, Do you know the difference
between toilet paper and a shower curtain?” Nick Carter asked his band mate AJ
McLean out of the blue. He had been lounging in his bunk, when AJ had
trooped back to the back of the bus, and couldn’t resist the urge to ask his
obnoxious question for the day. AJ groaned and threw himself inside his
bunk, “I don’t know Nick, humor me,” he said in almost a growl.
“So it was you!” Nick looked
enlightened, then he burst out laughing at AJ’s gullible reaction to his
easy to avoid being embarrassed question.
AJ blinked for a few seconds trying to
grasp the concept of the stupid joke Nick had made that had apparently
insulted his person.
Brian Littrell sat on the top bunk,
the one above Nick, with a slight smile on his face, “Isn’t that joke a little
old Nick?”
“It’s a classic,” Nick argued, “and
besides, AJ still doesn’t get it.” Nick snickered to himself. His
snickers were cut off as AJ positioned himself in front of his bunk and shoved
him back into the hard bus wall, “It wasn’t funny, dumb ass! Leave me alone!”
With that, AJ flung himself back inside his bunk and abruptly shut the curtain.
Nick was left paralyzed against the
wall, “What was that about?”
Brian sighed, and shook his head. He
went back to what he was doing.
“How much longer until we get to
Boston?” Nick asked, losing his playful tone, he now sounded tired.
“A few more hours Nick, get some
sleep,” Brian suggested as he carefully folded the notebook paper he had
written on and stuffed it inside an envelope.
“That was a good show,” Nick offered
to the silence that had clouded The Backstreet Boys once they left the stage.
Brian nodded, just to let him know
that he heard him. Other than that Nick received no acknowledgement for
his comment.
“I’m just glad there’s only a few more
shows to go before this whole thing is over,” Kevin sighed.
Brian nodded, “Leighanne is anxious
for me to get home to her.”
“Is she still laying on the pressure
for you two to get married this year?” Kevin asked curiously.
Brian lowered his head, “Yeah… “
Kevin sighed noisily, “Well you should
consider yourself lucky, at least you have someone to come home to. I
just have a…”
“WILL YOU GUYS STOP IT WITH THE SELF-
PITY already, you’re makin’ me sick!” AJ screamed. He dressed quickly
without showering to get out of the dressing room as soon as possible.
“We’re makin’ you sick? You’re
making us sick with this attitude that you’ve been having for weeks! What
happened, did you and Amanda have another lover’s quarrel or something?” Brian
turned on AJ, his face flushing with anger. It was unusual for Brian to
get so angry, so quickly, but he had.
AJ was at Brian’s throat in a
heartbeat, “Don’t you ever bring up my relationships in any conversation that
is…”
“Cool it you two,” Kevin stepped in
between them, playing the role of the big brother once again with a sigh.
“Stop touching me!” AJ jumped back
from Kevin’s restraining hands. He whirled on Brian, “For your information Miss
Latona and I are finished. For good! I hope to never see that bitch
again!”
Everyone in the room blinked at AJ’s
brash choice of word towards his long-time girlfriend Amanda Latona.
AJ gathered the rest of his belongings
and headed for the door.
“What crawled up his butt-hole?” Brian
muttered loudly, “He acts as if he is the only one who has problems! I’m
sick of him taking all of his feelings out on us! It’s getting to where I can’t
stand the guy anymore!” Brian threw a few items into his bags, and also skipped
out on his shower as he slammed out of the door as well.
Kevin stared after him, “They’re both
fools who don’t see what they have…” He sighed for the 100th time that evening
and slowly trudged towards the showers.
Howie frowned after him, and looked
towards Nick. Nick was fiddling with the gold anchor necklace around his
neck he always wore, even to bed. “Does Kev seemed depressed to you
Nicky?”
Nick looked up at Howie through a
curtain of blond hair, “Everyone seems depressed to me. Brian, AJ, Kevin…
even you.” He slowly lifted his gym bag, “I’ll catch a shower at the
hotel.”
The doors to the dressing room opened
and closed once again, leaving Howie alone, with the exception of Kevin, but he
was in the shower and shouldn’t count.
Everyone seems depressed… even you…
Me? Howie frowned. Did it show? Was he that obvious? He decided
that he should get in a shower. Running the water, he rested his head
against the coolness of the shower stall.
Why hadn’t he been there?
His older sister, who had cancelled
her appointments to come see her baby brother in concert, had died without
her baby brother by her side. Why? Because his work was too
important… it seems to have become more important than his own family.
He was singing his heart out at a
concert while his sister , lie in pain on her death- bed in a hospital.
Howie tried his best to get there after the concert, but his best wasn’t
good enough. She died minutes before his plane touched the ground in
North Carolina. He cancelled concert dates to attend Caroline’s funeral,
and support the family, but it still wasn’t enough. Why couldn’t he have
put his foot down and said No. But he didn’t, and now he has to live with
the guilt.
Everyone advised him to move on, even his
family, but he couldn’t. He tried not to let his guilt bring down his
performance. He thought he could handle it, but obviously he couldn’t,
for even Nick had noticed. He had to get over this. He had to move
on. He didn’t want to be the one who brought down the group.
Then he snorted to himself. Never mind, I think Kevin, Brian, or AJ
will beat me to it. It was if everyone in the group was having a serious
crisis in their life that was not only affecting themselves but their dedication
to the group.
AJ kept missing cues, Kevin kept
missing notes, Brian hardly smiles onstage, and Howie looks like he’s in
another world. The critics were the first ones to notice the sallow
demeanor of the Boys and chew them to pieces in their articles. Tales
and rumors of the group wanting to break up began to surface among the fans and
media. The hype got so huge that the band actually had to hold a press
conference concerning the matter. They dismissed it with smiles… Big
false smiles, for those rumors weren’t too far from the truth. At the
rate the Boys were going it would come as no surprise to Howie if the group
were to disband later in the year.
AJ had become almost intolerable over
the long months on tour. Howie wished he could pinpoint the problem, but
AJ just wouldn’t let anyone get close enough to him to help. Though Howie
could have if he had just kept pushing at him. AJ, after all, is his best
friend. But Howie was trapped in his own world of sorrow, and didn’t have
much time for anyone else’s. Brian was different. He used to be
always quick to smile, loved to joke around and act silly. Now he was
serious, and hesitant to say much of anything around anyone. Howie knew,
as did everyone else, that Brian’s problem was his long-time girlfriend.
She wanted a proposal out of Brian, and he just wasn’t ready to give one
to her yet. Howie had no idea of how deep this went, but he knew that it
was serious. He ached for his brother, but just didn’t have the strength
to help him. Kevin. Kevin was always a loner, and now, Howie
guessed, he wished that he weren’t so alone. Kevin was starting to show
signs of a mid-life crisis at nowhere near mid-life. Nick… was Nick.
Always the same, always the constant, and probably one of the main
reasons everyone still climbed on that tour bus just about everyday and showed
up for the shows. Nick cared so much about the group, and the guys… Howie
smiled slightly thinking about him, and how much they must be hurting him with
their behavior. He sighed and shut off the water. What was he
doing? What were they all doing?
***
