Chapter
23
“Oh come on, it’s chicken noodle,” Brian was
trying to coax his friend to eat, “You love this stuff.” He groaned in
frustration as Nick kept his face turned away. “Well you used to love it
anyway. Nick, come on.” Brian set down the bowl and took Nick by
the chin. He turned his head slightly and forced him to look at him.
“I will force feed you if it comes down to it buddy, and that’s not gonna
be pleasant.”
Nick jerked his chin away from Brian’s
hand, he lie back on the propped up pillows and shut his eyes, and his ears to
Brian’s idle threats. Brian sighed and gave up, at least for then. He
too lie back on Nick’s propped up pillows, “Leighanne called not too long ago.
She wants to come and see how you’re doing.” Brian smiled thinking about
Leighanne coming. He had had a long heart to heart with her earlier.
She seemed to really understand what he was going through, and she
had apologized to him…. It was then that he felt he was ready to ask the
question… the big question. Of course he would have to seek permission
from her father first, but after that… He beamed again thinking about one day
marrying Leighanne Wallace. He let out a contented sigh, and turned his head
slightly to catch Nick’s strange analytic gaze on him.
“You two are in love, huh?” he asked
softly.
Brian nodded, “Yes, we are. I… I want
to ask for her hand in marriage.” Brian hadn’t confided that information
to anyone else but himself, now Nick knew. Nick blinked, no
congratulations. Brian frowned. Maybe he was jealous, jealous of
Leighanne, or maybe even jealous of him? “Nick?” Brian questioned Nick’s
silence. He had turned his face away from him again, “Nick what are thinking?”
Silence, except for a small quivering
sound. Brian’s heart almost broke when he realized what the sound
was, “Nicky don’t cry.” Brian pulled him into a hug that Nick didn’t struggle
out of.
“Why do people get married Brian?”
Nick asked softly through tears.
“Because they love each other Nick and
want to spend the rest of their lives together,” Brian said simply stroking
Nick’s stringy blond hair.
“But loves wears off… you get tired of
each other and then you’ll want to find someone new…” The pillow he was hugging
to his face and chest muffled Nick’s voice.
“No Nick, not when the relationship is
good, and the love is true,” Brian said gently, “Your parents fell out of love
with each other, it happens sometimes, but not all the time Nicky.”
“That’s the explanation for why my dad
had his tongue down my brother’s vocal coach’s throat! Is that why he had
ripped her blouse in two and had her skirt up. Is that why his pants were
around his ankles?” His body shook with his rage and his tears.
Brian held him tighter.
“No Nick, there is no explanation for
that,” Brian said in a tough tone. He felt his heart hardening on the topic of
Bob Carter. How could he call himself a man, a father? “Some men aren’t meant
to be as lucky as they have become. Your father wasn’t meant to have such
wonderful things if he can’t appreciate them.”
“He said… he said he loved me, and he
only wanted the best for me… but when… but when…”
Brian rocked him, “But when what
Nicky?”
“He wanted me to lie to my mom…” Nick
sobbed burying his face further into his pillow, his words were coming in short
bursts, “I saw them… I went to pick something up Aaron forgot. Mom asked
me to… So I went, and I heard… I heard my Dad’s voice and, and I was curious.
I wish I wasn’t! They were on the counter in the lounge…. “
“He… he heard me slam the door, and
came out. He had pulled up his pants… but I could still see the lipstick
on his face. It was purple. I was running away, but he saw me, and
he chased me. He caught me getting into the car. I tried to drive
away but he took my keys… He, he asked me what I saw, and I told him. I
felt so sick. I almost threw up on him. He told me that it was the
first time, and he blamed it on Mom… Said she wasn’t, wasn’t fulfilling his
needs anymore. He tried to make me promise not to tell anyone. He
held my wrists and looked me in the eyes. I was telling him no and he
started shaking me. He was so scared of Mom and the kids finding out. He
said that he could trust me; he always knew he could. Then… then she came
out. When he turned I ran. I grabbed my keys from him and got into the
car and peeled out as fast as I could.” Brian felt his face
burning with his anger, and his sadness for not being available for Nick.
“When I got home I… I… My mom was in
the yard, gardening. I saw her, and . . . she said hi, and she
wanted to know if I had ran into dad at the studio… I…I ran to the bushes and
threw up. Mom was so worried, she thought I was sick, and she
ordered me to bed. I went to my room and stayed there until
someone knocked on my door at dinnertime. I was like go away Aaron I’m hungry… but
it wasn’t Aaron, it was Dad. He let himself in and shut the door…
He asked how I was feeling, like nothing had happened earlier. He asked
if I was hungry and if I wanted someone to bring up something. I got
pissed Bri. I got so pissed; I started screaming at him. The whole family
was in my room. Dad started saying I was delirious and needed rest. He
even told Mom to call the doctor… I had had it Bri. I turned around and told
her, told everyone what I had seen…” Nick raised his tearful face to look at
Brian, “She slapped me Brian. My mother slapped me.”
“Nicky she was upset…”
“She didn’t believe me. She left, and
my sisters and Aaron left. Dad sneered at me, and never looked at me
for real until the court hearing. Everyone avoided me… I needed… I needed. I
don’t know, but I…”
“You should have called and told me
Nicky, I would have been there to pick you up and bring you home with me…”
“I did freakin’ call you Brian.
Leighanne answered, said you were busy,” Nick wiped at his eye in
vain. “No one believed me, and I became an outcast in my own family. Mom
didn’t find out about Dad’s indiscretions until he was ready to leave her. That
was when he told her what had been going on for months. She almost
fainted Brian, and then… then she started screaming and ordered my father
out of the house. Dad left, but not before giving me this long look.
I hated him. I hate him! And Mom cried. She cried all night, and then,
then she screamed at me for knowing all along! But I had told her! Then Dad…
Dad wanted custody of the kids, he wanted Leslie, Aaron and Angel…Aaron more
than anyone. He took mom to court trying to prove her incompetent.
He started talking to me and calling me being friendly again. He
had my grandparents calling me and trying to brainwash me against my own
mother… And Mom, Mom had shut herself down. In court my testimony would
turn out to be the one that swayed the judgment. I… I had the power to
break either one of my parents, and I wasn’t too fond of either of them
right then. In the end I chose Mom’s side, and since then I have not
heard from my father. He’ll call and he’d talk to Angel and Aaron
and Leslie, sometimes even BJ, but not me….”
“He’s an asshole Nick,” a low voice
said from the doorway. AJ crept to the bed and sat in front of Nick, “He’s
an ass that doesn’t deserve a good kid like you. If it were up to me…”
“But it isn’t up to you,” Nick mumbled
putting his head back into the pillow. His shoulders shook slightly as he
began to weep again, “My own father hates me… My grandparents snubbed me.
No one sent me any birthday presents, not even a card. My birthday went
uncelebrated by anyone… but me.”
“I’m so sorry Nick,” Brian said softly
he still held Nick as he cried, “But it’s ok now. Everything’s gonna be
fine kiddo. You’ve got us, and your sisters, and your brother…”
“What if it’s not enough anymore?”
Nick asked bleakly. His tears halted, but his breathing was still heavy.
AJ and Brian stared at each other. How
could they answer that question? And more importantly, why had he asked?
They both looked down to see Nick’s blond head drooping onto the pillow,
his breathing calming as sleep took the reigns of his body.
Brian moved back his pillows and
spread him out comfortably, flinching when he felt ribs through Nick’s t-shirt.
He was so fragile, mentally and physically. Brian felt AJ’s
penetrating eyes on him, so he looked up.
“Whatever you did today Brian was
good,” AJ said, “We’ll have him back to normal in no time, huh?” AJ’s eyes were
desperate for reassurance. Nick‘s words had scared him. Say
something Brian, make it ok.
Brian smiled slightly, “Yeah, yeah we
will AJ. And who knows, maybe later he’ll eat.”
AJ was nodding, “Yeah, yeah… That’s
right.”
Brian put a hand on AJ’s shoulder and
he squeezed, “AJ, he’s gonna be ok. He’s got all 4 of us, and some
wonderful sisters. He’ll be fine and putting peanut butter in your
underwear again before you know it.”
“Yeah, I hope so… HEY!”
Brian laughed at AJ, but in his mind his
little voice echoed AJ, Yeah I hope so…
***
