Chapter 29
“Who did you just get off the
phone with?” Bob asked reclaiming the seat beside his youngest son. Aaron
tossed the phone into his father’s lap and sighed, “No one.
Bob rolled his eyes and opened his
cell-phone. He looked at his “Sent” calls, “Who’s number is this? Is
it BJ’s? It looks like her number.”
Aaron turned his head to look out the
window.
Bob sighed loudly and put his
phone away, “Can we stop this Aaron? This attitude is not getting us
anywhere. I said I was ready to try again, I want to start over, but how
can I if you won’t even give me a chance? Now I’m trying to make things
right with Nick, BJ, Leslie and your Mom...”
“Yes, yes, I’ve heard it all before
Dad. I know what you’re trying to do, I know what you want, blah blah...” Aaron
muttered rolling his eyes, “Good luck.”
“Aaron...”
“Dad, you misread the little sign on
my forehead, it does not read ‘stupid’ it reads ‘Not for Damn Sale!’”
Aaron retorted, he reached under his seat to find his bag. He knew he had
packed his Gameboy somewhere in there.
“Aaron, watch your language!” Bob
snapped at the boy his face turning slightly red, “I don’t know what to do, or
what to say to you...”
“Well guess what Dad, if you don’t
even know what to say to me, then how in the world are you planning on talking
to Leslie, or BJ... And goodness Dad, how can you even imagine that you are
ready to talk to Nick?” Aaron stared at his father intently, “I mean, I think I
hate you more than he does but he’s a tough audience.”
Bob was nodding his head, “I know all
this. You think I don’t know this! No I don’t know what I’m gonna say, and
if he acts anything like you I’m gonna cry... How did I turn out to be such a
bad father?” Bob was saying leaning his head in his hands.
“When you and Ms. Pearce decided it
would be a good idea to...”
“Damn it Aaron! Shut up!” Bob slammed
his hand down on his airplane table causing more than a few heads to turn and
look their way. Aaron smiled at the attention they were receiving.
One yell from him and security would be on their way to extract his dear
father. “Why are you smiling? You like seeing me like this, huh? My life
is falling apart.... my life being you kids, you’re falling apart I’m falling
apart.”
Aaron’s eyes narrowed, “Oh poor poor
Bob. I’m sorry that my little life has inconvenienced you.”
“Aaron please.... Now was that BJ you
were just talking to? Was your mother there? Do they know where Nick is?”
Aaron kept his gaze leveled with his
newly found Gameboy, he decided to skip codes and just play a new game.
He wished he had brought his headphones, they would have been perfect for
drowning out unwanted noises. His eyes cut briefly in the direction of
his father.
“Aaron, when we get off this plane we
have no idea where to go. If you know something it would be very helpful to
me...”
“Dad, why in the world would you get
on a plane to go to a different state and then not know where you’re going?
You’ve completely lost it now.”
“Aaron Charles...” Bob began, but
dropped it. It was a lost cause. He instead pulled his cell phone back
out and pressed redial. He listened as the phone rang and rang... come
on, come, who ever was on the other end needed to answer the phone. He knew
someone was there, because whoever it was had picked up for Aaron earlier.
The phone continued to ring, and then a voice mail picked up. “Hello,
this is BJ, leave a message and I’ll get back to you.” Bob smiled grimly,
so he had been right about the phone’s owner. He decided not to leave a
message, but to call back, and he would keep calling back until he got an
answer.
“Ok, here now sit up,” Howie was
placing a gentle hand behind Nick’s back and gave him a slight push to sit up.
Nick accepted the tea with shaking hands. BJ helped him hold the
cup and blew the steam away.
“She’ll never be allowed back in here
Nicky,” Brian said lightly sitting on the other side of Nick that wasn’t
occupied by BJ. Howie sat behind him on the pillows rubbing his back.
Nick’s blue eyes were so sad Brian
thought his heart would break just by looking into them, “But Nicky, you could
see that she cares about you. She’s worried, she just thinks she can take
control of every situation. And this one is one that she can’t...”
“Cause she helped to cause it,” BJ
said bitterly.
“Whoa,” Brian was the first to grab
the mug and tilt it away from Nick’s face as he sputtered on it. Howie patted
his back, “Are you ok?”
Nick shook his head and waved away the
tea. He lie back on the bed tears fell from his eyes.
“What’s wrong Nick?” AJ stood by the
window, he watched Nick’s tears sadly, if only there was something he could do.
Nick shook his head and bit his lip on
a sob.
“Nick please tell us what you’re
thinking about,” Kevin said softly, he was sitting in a chair by the wall.
He stood and walked to the bed, taking a seat on it like everyone else
had.
“Nickel?” BJ asked brushing hair from
his eyes, “Please tell us what it is...”
Nick turned his face away from
everyone letting the tears run from his eyes and strike the sheets, “She still
didn’t see me, Beej.”
“What is he...?” but AJ was cut off by
BJ.
“She still has those blinds over her
eyes,” BJ sneered.
“After a..all...t..the things I did
f..for attention. I just needed someone to pay attention to me,” Nick was
stuttering through chattering teeth, “Instead she dismisses me... When I
thought she had finally realized ME, not Nicky, she... she...”
“What? She what?” Kevin’s green eyes
were curious he gazed at BJ.
“She sent him to therapy,” BJ said
flatly.
“Never talked to me about my problem,
she just wanted it dealt with and over so I’d be normal...I’d be her perfect
Nicky again,” Nick said through his tears, “Her scapegoat. Her prize. Her money
making machine.”
His hands shook as he gripped the
doorframe. He held the razor loosely in his palms blood fell from his
fingers. His barefeet struck the kitchen tile and curled at its coldness.
He could see her sitting at the table, her back to him and she looked
over something, “M...Mom....” he choked out.
“What Aaron... Good God Nick!” Jane
Carter was up in an instant and to Nick. She grabbed his hands and examined the
small cuts on them. She took the slightly bloody razor from him and tossed it
on the counter. Jane rolled up his sleeves hastily to see if he had sliced his
wrists, no marks, still baby smooth.
“What were you gonna do Nicky?” Jane
asked him, staring into his teary eyes. His whole demeanor trembled in her
presence. He stifled a cry and let himself collapse to his knees.
Jane sunk down with him and took him in her arms. She rocked him
slowly as he cried and cried, and cried. Her hands ran through his hair
rapidly, his tears were hers. He could feel her fear. He tried to stop his
heaving sobs but soon found that it only brought about more sobs.
“Mom...? Nick!” He felt more
arms around him, squeezing, “What happened, are you ok?” Leslie’s voice
was unnerved
“Mom, what’s wrong with him?” Angel’s
frightful voice was screeching. She had seen the razor.
“Angel, Leslie, get a blanket,
please,” Jane said still holding Nick and trying to soothe his
tears, “Nicky, please.., please calm down. Come on, you’re gonna make
yourself sick, ok?”
“Mom, we got it,” Leslie said, she and
Angel stood each holding a side of the blanket. Jane nodded and released her
hold on Nick lightly to take the blanket. She wrapped it around his shaking
body and kissed his forehead, his tears were calming down, his sobs becoming
hiccups.
“What’s wrong with him?” Angel
repeated.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me...”
Nick said in a small voice, “I don’t know...” he looked at his mother, like she
held the answers, like she always had when he was a child. She always
knew how to make him feel better, to make the tears go away... Make the tears
go away Mom...
Jane’s blue eyes burned into his and
she took his face between her hands, “Honey... I’m gonna get you the best help
in the world. I’m gonna find a psychiatrist that will talk to you anytime you
need him, whether it be 2 pm or 2 am. Don’t worry baby, Mom’s gonna take care
of everything.” She buried his head in her shoulder and rubbed his neck,
“Everything’s gonna be just fine now.”
Everything’s gonna be just fine now...
the words fell around his ears. Psychiatrist.... But psychiatrist were
for crazy people... was he crazy? He raised his head from his mother’s
shoulders and caught the eyes of his siblings, all 4 of them staring at him...
like he was crazy. So maybe that’s what he was. Crazy.
“Nicky,” BJ stroked his face, “You’re
not crazy, you’re sick, and Mom made a mistake for just writing you off like
that.”
Nick buried his face in his pillows as
he had once used his mother’s sweet scented shoulders. “Sick, crazy,
what’s the difference. I got a prescription all the same...”
“And he was wrong, Dr. Sears was
wrong. He never really talked to you did he? He never counseled you,” BJ was
saying, “He basically accepted your checks and did what Mom wanted. She wanted
you to be the same as you always were to her... anything Dr. Sears could give
you that would reproduce that she was all for. She was scared Nick. She was a
coward, and she looked the other way when she shouldn’t have. It’s not your
fault.”
Nick sniffled, and shook his head
weakly, “I’m tired. Can everybody leave so I can get some sleep please?”
“Of course,” AJ said standing up,
Howie, and Kevin followed.
“Frack, I’m gonna stay, I’m gonna sit
down over here. So if you need me at all...”
“No Brian...”
“Yes Nick, either get used to it, or
don’t sleep,” Brian planted himself on the love seat by the window.
Nick stared at him with an odd
expression in his eyes, he nodded and lie down on his pillows. BJ stood to
leave but he griped her hand, “Will you tell me again how it’s not my fault?”
BJ smiled softly at him, “I’ll gladly
tell you that all day.” She sat on the side of the bed and rubbed his hands.
Kevin, Howie, and AJ left the room,
shutting the door and the scene behind them.
***
