Chapter 30
I stood there on the balcony of our
hotel in Australia. It was the last night of our amazing two week honeymoon.
I'd never had a more relaxing and enjoyable time in my entire life.
Nick and I had spent the first two
days just laying in bed with one another, doing all of the things that newly
married couples do. On the third day we'd finally decided that it would be best
to get out and explore the city and it had been well worth it.
I heard Nick open the door behind me
and turned just in time to see him step out onto the balcony, a bottle of
champagne in one hand and two glasses in the other. He set the glasses down on
the table and popped the top off the champagne. He poured both glasses full and
handed one to me.
"To us." He said raising his
glass to mine as we brought them together for a toast.
"To the rest of our lives together."
I took a sip of my champagne and set
my glass back on the table turning towards Nick and wrapping my arms around him
in a hug. I could hear Rascal Flatts playing on the CD player in the hotel room
so I slipped away to turn up the volume before coming back out on the balcony,
leaving the door wide open so that we could hear the music. Nick smiled as he
watched me lift my glass of champagne again and take another sip.
May I have this dance?" He asked
as he held his hands out for me to join him.
I moved over into his arms and we slow
danced together there on the balcony.
It's amazing, what I let my heart go through,
to get me where it got me in this moment here with you.
And it passed me by God knows how many times,
I was so caught up in holding what I never thought I'd
find.
I know now, there's a million roads I had to take to get me
in your arms this way...
And I wouldn't change a thing, I'd walk right back through
the rain,
back to every broken heart on the day that it was breaking.
And I'd relive all the years, and be thankful for the tears
I cried with every stumbled step that led to you and got
me...
Here... right here.
When the song had ended we stood there
in each others arms and watched as the sun set out over the city. Our last
night in Perth.
The first night of the rest of our
lives.
If I'd learned anything in the last
two weeks it was that my life had definitely been worth living. No matter what
I'd been through, no matter how difficult my experience with cancer had been...
it was all worth it. It was worth it if for no other reason that getting to
live these moments.
Now... standing here in the moonlight
with the man of my dreams, my partner in life, my husband... I knew this.
There was something else that I was
sure of now... I was sure that I had experienced everything in life that I
really needed.
I knew that tomorrow we'd be going
home, back to our lives and back to the reality that I had known I would
eventually have to face. We'd planned to spend the spring and summer together
in Kentucky. The boys had agreed to put their new album on hold so that Nick
could take time off to be with me. Nick and I had talked more in the past few
days and we'd decided together that I would not go through with any more
chemotherapy treatments. It wasn't that I wanted to give up... it was that I
didn't want to live the rest of my life, whatever time I had left, going
through hell. I'd experienced so much in the past nine months and I'd learned
so much from the experiences. In my mind I knew that no matter what fate had
planned for me, after all of this... I could at the very least die happy.
I felt deep down that I had come to
terms with my life and even lately I had come to terms with the reality that it
would probably be ending very soon. I didn't want to leave with regrets and at
this very moment, standing here on the balcony with my husband, looking out
over an amazing city as the sun disappeared behind the skyline, I couldn't
think of a single one.
***