Chapter 4
I rolled over in bed, set the phone on its reciever and took a glance
at the clock on the bedside stand. It blinked 7:15 am.
I hated mornings.
I had just gotten off the phone with Nick and as was always the case
after one of our long chats, I wanted nothing more than to curl up into a ball
and crawl back under the covers to fall asleep and dream about him. Today,
however, was not the day for that. It was the first day of my second to last
round of chemotherapy and I needed to be at the hospital in less than two
hours.
I stretched out on the bed and hung my head upside down over the side,
my fingers dangling upon the floor beneath me. I watched the sun rise through
the large picture window in our guest bedroom and said a prayer asking God to
help me through the day. The doctors were going to up the dosage of my
medicines for the last two rounds and I knew it was going to be rough on my
body. I thought of Nick, oceans away in Australia and blinked away the tears
that had formed in my eyes. I had to keep reminding myself that he would be
home in two weeks... scratch that... I pulled myself back up onto the bed and took
the calender from under the pillow next to mine... he would be home in 12 days.
I climbed out of bed and dragged myself into the bathroom to shower. I
slipped off my t-shirt and rubbed my hand across the bump on my left
collarbone. My port. This tiny device the doctors had implanted beneath my skin
nearly 6 months ago was my lifesaver. It had allowed the doctors and nurses to
draw my blood and to give me chemo without constantly jabbing me with
needles... I was terrified of needles. It was hard to believe that after all
this time I would soon be coming to the end of this journey.
I hadn't talked much to my family and friends about my prognosis, not
even to Nick. I knew it was something we'd eventually have to discuss but I
kept putting it off, hoping that maybe it would all just go away. I continued
to hope for a miracle even though my doctors were quick to remind me that while
the treatments would lengthen my life, the prognosis was still poor. Very poor.
I understood, but I believed in miracles and if nothing else, I wasn't ready to
give up yet.
I showered quickly and slipped into my adidas running pants and a
Kentucky sweatshirt. I always went for comfort on chemo days and today I had a
feeling I would need as much comfort as possible. I grabbed my "Life is
Good" hat off of the dresser and headed down to the kitchen to wait on
Kelly. Kevin, Kristin, Kelly and Joey took turns taking me to treatments and
today was her day.
I sat at the table and tried my best to choke down some pancakes and
orange juice. I usually ate pretty well when I was off treatment but the mere
thought of starting chemotherapy had set my stomach on edge. I had finally
given up and was rinsing my plate off in the sink when I heard the doorbell
ring and I went quickly to answer it.
I opened the door and was shocked to find Angel Carter, Nick's youngest
sister standing there at my door holding my morning paper.
"Good morning beautiful."
"Oh my GOD!" I said taking her into a hug and squeezing her
tight, "What in the world are you doing here?"
"Well..." Angel said holding me back at arms length and
looking me up and down, "First off you look gorgeous! And secondly I
thought you could use a little help planning the wedding. Besides I'd always
wanted to come to Kentucky and see how you country folks lived," She
winked and we laughed and we hugged again.
"I just can't believe you're here... oh gosh come in!" I
exclaimed ushering her in out of the frosty morning air.
"Wow," She said looking around the house, "Nick wasn't
lying, this place is beautiful."
"Isn't it though? I thought I'd seen every beautiful home in
Kentucky... but this one takes the cake." I smiled as I showed her to the
kitchen and pointed towards the back window at the view of the lake. "This
is my favorite spot in the entire house."
"Amazing."
There was another knock at the door and I excused myself to let Kelly
in. We walked into the kitchen together and I introduced her to Angel. We all
sat and chatted for a few minutes before I noticed that the clock on the wall
showed it was time to head out to the hospital.
"Ugh." I groaned.
"I'll come with you." Angel offered as she stood and followed
Kelly and I to the door.
"You don't have to, really. It's pretty boring." I said sure
that Angel would hate me after a long day sitting in the hospital watching me
marinate in chemotherapy treatments.
"No really, I want to... and hey, " She said looking towards
Kelly with a wink... "I think we all have a wedding to plan."
Kelly nodded and ran to her car to grab a bunch of bridal catalogs
she'd been carrying around for the past few weeks before we all climbed in to
my beloved Pontiac G6 and headed out to the hospital. It would be a long day,
but at least I would be in good company.
***
