Chapter 6
Highway run into the midnight sun,
wheels go round and round,you're on my mind.
Restless hearts sleep alone tonight,
sending all my love along the wire...
I sighed leaning my head back to rest
against the seat of the car. I'd had a headache from the moment I opened my
eyes, most likely from the combination of vomiting I'd done and the medication
they'd finally given me to stop the vomiting so I could sleep. I listened to
the rest of my favorite Journey song before flipping off my ipod and tucking it
away in my overnight bag. I reached down in the seat beside me to grab my
pillow which was hidden beneath an emesis basin and a large hospital bag full
of medications. I sat there for a moment and studied the scene. It was hard to
believe that this is what my life had become. I grabbed the pillow tossing the
basin to the floor and shoved it up against the window where I leaned my head
in an attempt to find a comfortable position.
"You alright back there baby
girl?" My father asked from the driver's seat studying me carefully in the
rearview mirror.
"I'm fine thanks... just ready to
be home in my own bed." I answered tiredly, watching out the window as the
trees passed by.
"We'll be there soon
sweetheart." My mom replied turning around in her seat and smiling
reassuringly at me.
My mother and father had come to
relieve Kelly that morning and I had sent Angel home with my car the night
before. It was always nice having my parents there with me, it reminded me of
when I was a little girl and I would stay home from school sick. My mom would
tuck me into bed and sit with me, or fix me soup or rub my back and it felt
good.
"I talked to Brian this
morning," she said, interrupting my thoughts.
"Really?" I asked... "I
miss him."
"He misses you too. He said he
loves you and wants you to know they all think about you constantly."
"I love him too. If you talk to
him... tell him I said so."
Despite Brian's career he and I had
always been close. He was 8 years older than I was and had always been
extremely overprotective of me. I was his baby sister and he wouldn't let
anyone forget it. He hadn't liked the idea of Nick and I dating and had all but
kicked himself for bringing me along on the last leg of their Black and Blue
Tour when he'd realized the two of us were a little more than friends. He and
Nick were best friends though and of all of the guys they'd spent the most time
together during the great "Backstreet Break." Brian had invited me
out to Georgia two summers before to stay with him and Leighanne and that's
when our romance had really blossomed.
Everything wonderful I had in my life
I owed to Brian.
I wiped away a tear that had formed in
the corner of my eye as I sat and thought of the times we'd shared that summer.
Baylee was just a baby then and we'd all had so much fun. We'd had cookouts and
pool parties and picnics in the park, we'd gone to the zoo and to the beach and
I'd had one of the best summers of my life. I had watched Brian and Leighanne
with Baylee and envisioned what my life would someday be like. I had dreams of
having a home on the beach with my husband and my family. We were happy and
life was good.
My eyes came to rest on the emesis
basin on the floor once more. Those dreams... MY dreams... it was hard to
believe that in such a short amount of time they had all been shattered. I
sniffled and wiped my eyes again focusing on the trees out the window and
trying to take my mind off those thoughts.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
My father asked again, the concern evident in his voice.
"I'm sure..."
I wanted to get home and talk to Nick.
I hadn't talked to him since the morning before in the car on the way to the
hospital.
We talked several times most days but
on chemo days he knew that I would be too sick to carry on a conversation and
so Kevin would relay our messages back and forth or let him know how I was
doing. I looked down at my watch, it was 2:00 in the afternoon which meant it
would be the middle of the night for Nick. I would have to wait until evening.
I sighed again my stomach churning.
The nausea that had made my life so miserable the day before was but a small
nuisance today. I once again leaned my head into the pillow and tried to find a
comfortable position. I closed my eyes and wished for this day to be over, only
I knew that tomorrow I would have to go through the chemo all over again.
If I could just get home and sleep for
a while then I could wake up and call him... I could hear his voice and
everything would be okay.
***
