Chapter 8

Nick awoke to voices and an annoying beeping sound, which kept continuing. He slowly opened his eyes, startled to find he couldn’t move his neck.

“He’s awake,” A male voice said. Brian’s face appeared, his eyes full of sadness. “Hey buddy…”

Meggie appeared on the other side of the bed, and took his hand.

“They took the ventilator out of your mouth, and put a tube into your neck so you can talk and breathe easier. That’s why you can’t move your neck… there’s a brace around it for the time being.”

“Mom?” Nick whispered, trying to make a sound.

“She’ll be here soon,” Brian said. “B.J.’s coming too,”

“Thanks,”

“No problem,” Brian replied, as Jane, the nurse, entered the room with tubing, tape, and an IV bag full of a white liquid.

“Lunch time,” Jane said, offering a smile. “ I’m just going to put this tube in, and leave it, so I won’t have to keep doing it every time you have to eat.”

Brian moved away from the bed, and sat down, not wanting to watch.

“This won’t hurt a bit… just might feel a little awkward at first.”

She reached the bed, and hung the bag of liquid up on the IV pole. Then she took the thin, white tube and found the end of it.

“When you feel this hit the back of your throat, just keep swallowing,”

She took the end of the tube, and inserted it into Nick’s right nostril, and began to gently push it down. When she had about a foot of tubing left, she taped it to Nick’s cheek, then hooked it up to the bag of liquid.

“There we go… feel alright?”

“Yeah,” Nick replied.

She left, leaving the three alone. Then suddenly, she stuck her head back in.

”Nick’s mom is here,” She announced.

“I’ll leave… you stay here,” Brian said.

“No.. it’s ok… I need to go get something to eat.”

”You haven’t eaten?” Nick asked.

”She stayed with you all night,” Brian said.

Nick tightened his grip on Meggie’s hand.

“Thank you,”

She replied with a kiss to his forehead, then left, allowing a spot for Jane. The door opened, and Jane appeared.

Brian saw tears well up in her eyes as they fell upon Nick. He walked over, and greeted her with a hug.

“Is Beej here?”

“Yes,” She replied quietly.

”I’m going to leave so she can come. I’ll see you later. Bye Nick,” Brian said, giving a wave before he left. He walked down the long corridor to the waiting room, where some of the others were sitting.

”Where’s B.J.?” He asked.

“She said she was going to the sanctuary for a while,” AJ said sleepily.

“Why don’t you go to the hotel and get some sleep? All of you… you guys look like zombies. I’ll call if anything happens,”

Reluctantly, they all agreed and Brian walked them down to the front doors, then went in search for the sanctuary. He finally found it, in the center of the hospital. It was like a little green house, but outdoors. He looked around, and finally saw a blonde head peeping above a large, green bush. He followed the stone path until he reached her. Tears cascaded down her cheeks as she stared up into the bright, blue sky.

Brian silently sat down beside her, causing her to jump slightly.

“Sorry… didn’t mean to scare you,”

“It’s ok,” She replied, wiping her tears.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t think I can go through him being sick again. First cancer, now pneumonia because of the cancer. And his organs shutting down?”

”Yeah…” Brian said softly.

“Is he going to make it?”

“Dr. Tinoil said…he has a fifty-fifty chance,”

“D*mnit it’s not enough!” She screeched, sobbing. “It’s not fair! Why does he have to die? Why my brother?”

“Beej.. calm down, sweetie. No one said he was going to die. He has a good chance of licking this.”

“But can he? Does he have it in him? I’m not doubting his ability… but you know Nick! He’ll give up! He’ll be depressed!”

“But he hasn’t yet. He’s still fighting. And if he knows we’re all fighting with him, then he’ll continue.”

”But… what if he doesn’t? What if he gives up?”

“Then we’ll keep pushing him. We’re not going to let him give up.”

Brian wrapped B.J. in a hug, allowing her to cry on his shoulder. After a few minutes, she pulled away and wiped her face dry.

”Do you want to go see him?” Brian quietly asked.

She nodded and stood up, gathering her jacket and purse. Brian led her down the path and back into the hospital, then to the elevator. On the way up, she pulled a mirror out and wiped off her smudged mascara and eyeliner.

As the elevator stopped, she dropped the mirror back into her purse and followed Brian down the hallway.

”Are you coming in?”

”I can’t… only two people allowed at once,”

“Oh… stupid rules. Thank you Brian…” She said, offering him a quick hug before entering the room. She held back the tears, once again threatening to fall, as she saw her brother lying helpless in the bed. He rolled his eyes over towards her and she neared the bed, coming into his view.

”Hey,” He whispered, reaching his hand out.

”Hey Nicky,” She replied, grasping it. She sat down beside the bed, but still in view.

“I’m going to go talk to the doctor,” Jane said. She kissed Nick’s forehead and promised she’d be back, then left.

”How are you feeling?” B.J. asked.

”Don’t tell Mom.. but I told her I was feeling better. I’m not, though. I feel like a two ton tour bus rolled over me ten times then stopped, and now it’s laying on me.”

”No pain medicine?”

”There might be... somewhere up there in that web of tubes,”

There was a knock on the door, and Dr. Tinoil and their mother entered.

”Hello Nick… do you remember me from the trauma room?”

”Vaguely…”

“I’m not surprised…we sedated you after only a few minutes. I’m just going to take a look at your charts and go from there,”

After a few minutes of silence, Dr. Tinoil looked up from the clipboard of charts he had, a sadness filling his face.

Nick tightened his grip on B.J.’s hand, hoping the news wouldn’t be extremely horrible.

“This definitely does not look good. Your kidneys are beginning to show signs of failure. We’re going to have to start you on dialysis.”

“What’s that?”

“I’ll hook a tube up to your kidneys… and it’ll help them properly function. But before I do that… there’s something we need to discuss. They did talk to you… about your chances.. correct?”

”Yeah… fifty-fifty.”

”Ok. I’m going to talk to you about this, for your own well-being. There is this thing all hospitals have, called a DNR… meaning Do Not Resuscitate. You are already on the ventilator… but if your heart happens to stop… if you chose DNR… then we couldn’t restart it with the paddles.”

“I.. know what that is… it helps so people don’t suffer…” Nick interrupted.

”Yes,” Dr. Tinoil replied.

Nick looked up at his mother, then his sister, before replying.

”I… think that’s what I want,”

B.J.’s hand flew to her mouth as tears began to escape her eyes.

”Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Nick said.

Dr. Tinoil wrote in the chart for a few seconds before looking back up.

“I’m going to go get a nurse to help me with the dialysis machine.” He said, leaving.

”I’m going to go wait outside…” B.J. said softly. She squeezed Nick’s hand then freed it, and left the room. As she began walking down the hallway, her tears once again turned into sobs. She entered the waiting room and looked around, finding Brian in the corner, watching television.

“Beej… what’s wrong?”

“They’re….putting him on dialysis… his kidneys are failing… and….and…. he’s on a do not resuscitate order now…”

Brian finally let his emotions go, and began to cry along with B.J. After a few minutes, Jane entered the room and sat down across from the two.

“He’s finishing with Nick… and he wants to talk to us…alone,” Jane said, fear and tears filling her eyes. B.J. stood up and walked over, sitting beside her mother. They embraced, then reluctantly released. Meggie appeared in the doorway, giving them all weird glances.

”Did something happen?” She asked, bewildered.

“The doctor is coming in to talk to us…” Brian said quietly.

Meggie walked into the room and sat down beside Brian, her hands shaking. Brian took her hands into his, trying to comfort her.

After a few minutes of an eerie silence, Dr. Tinoil entered the waiting room. He shut the door behind him and then sat down so he was visible to all of them.

“The reason I wanted to talk to you all, without Nick present, is because I didn’t want to upset him more than he already is. But… I think the time has come… where you need to start planning funeral arrangements,” He said solemnly. “He’s only getting worse, no better. As you know, his kidneys already began to fail, so we put him on dialysis. After his kidneys, his liver will begin to fail,… and then his heart. He’s now on a DNR order… meaning… we can’t even put him on the bypass machine to keep him alive now, due to his request. I’m sorry to have brought you this type of news and I only wish it could be better. If you have any questions, or need to talk to me, just let the nurses know.” He bowed his head, and stood up to leave.

“No… no…not Nick.. ohmygod… no,” Meggie sobbed into Brian’s chest. B.J. and Jane, held each other in a tight embrace. Meggie stood up and went over to join them. Seeing he was now alone, Brian left the room and went to the nurses station.

“Is there a phone I could use?”

“There’s a free public phone right around the corner,” The nurse replied, politely.

Brian thanked her then went around the corner to the phone. He picked the receiver off the cradle and dialed the hotel number.

“Room 428, please,” Brian said, once a woman answered.

“Hello?” Kevin’s sleepy voice echoed over the phone.

”Hey Kev… it’s uh.. me..” Brian said, almost like he was nervous.

“Bri? Did something happen?”

”Um… you guys just might want to get here pretty soon…”

”Is he… that bad?”

“ The doctor… just told Jane to start making funeral arrangements,” Brian replied, his voice cracking.

“We’ll be down in a little bit. Hang in there, B,”

The dial tone sounded and Brian hung the phone up, sighing.

***

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