Like
A Child
By Cortney
Girl
don't stop the sun from shining down on me,
Cause I can't face another day without your smile,
And if you take the loving arms that surround me,
Then I might break down and cry like a child.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I remember it all like it
was a second ago. I look over at the sleeping 3 year old that I found out
about only a week ago. I remember it all and it’s hard to believe that I
am a father of a beautiful 3 year old child. She has reddish blonde curly
hair and big blue eyes. Sad news is that she has the same genital heart
problem that I have. I sighed and thought back to when I answered the
door.
"Hello! How may I help you miss?" I asked at the young
lady at the front door. She looked familiar but I couldn't put my finger
on who she was.
"Brian? It’s me Meghan. We dated before you left for your
group." I was surprised to find her here. We had met up 3
years ago when I was on tour in the US.
"What are you doing here? You told me you never wanted to see me again."
I said putting my hand up on the door frame.
"Brian please listen. This is our daughter. She's 3 years old.
I can't take care of her anymore. I know she’s yours because of
that one night stand we had. Please take her. Her name is Alyssa.
Please take her please." She said moving aside and there was
standing a little girl that had these huge blue eyes.
"Meghan I can't! Why didn't you tell me about her?" I
asked looking back up at her. She had tears in her eyes.
"Brian I couldn't. My parents disowned me when they found out I was
pregnant with her. They won't take her and I dunno who else to turn
to." She said shaking her head and the little girl coming up and
hugging her leg. She bent down and picked her up.
"Meghan I can't right now. I am going on tour in 4 months. How
am I going to explain to my manager and my girlfriend that I have a
daughter?" I asked being blunt. She sat Alyssa down and sat
down on the step and started to cry and shake uncontrollably. I stepped
outside of my door and sat down beside her and rubbed her back. "Meghan
what’s the real truth as to why you are here?" I asked. and she
turned around and looked right at me with her big brown eyes.
"Brian I have end stage breast cancer. The doctors have given me 6
months to live and that was 5 months ago. I just don't want Alyssa to
wind up in a orphanage or be handed over to the state." She said
choking back an extra sob.
"Meghan I will do all I can to help you, but I need time to think this all
over. You two are welcomed to stay here as long as you need to."
I said helping her up. Alyssa grabbed onto her arm and we all
walked in. This was when my life began to change.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I think back to
that night and think if I made the right decision about all this.
Leighanne loves Alyssa and she’s come to cope with the change.
Alyssa misses her mommy, but we talk about her every now and then.
But it’s so hard to believe that she’s actually mine. She’s as
precious as can be but I have had to cope with Meghan's death and becoming a
father.
"Leighanne? Where’s Alyssa?" I asked looking around.
It was a bright and sunny day out and we were going to go swimming.
"She’s in her room putting her bathing suit on." Leigh said.
I kissed her on the lips and went and checked on Alyssa.
"Alyssa are you ready yet sweetie?" I asked knocking on her
door. I heard the pitter patter of her feet and she opened the door with
a big smile on her face.
"Yep!" She said skipping off to the screen in porch, which
leads out to the pool. Leigh grabbed some towels and we headed outside.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Alyssa was jumping
off the side in the shallow end and showing us what she had learned in swimming
lessons. She has Meghan's personality and she looked a lot like her in
the face. It’s like looking into a mirror and seeing her there. I
finally decided that it was too hot and decided to jump in and I did with a big
splash. Leigh screeched at me and Alyssa and I laughed back at her.
"Brian Littrell! I swear you make me mad sometimes!" She said
grabbing a towel and trying herself off.
"Leigh all wet." Alyssa said giggling. I picked her up
and through her a little ways into the shallow end of the pool. She came
back up pouting.
"Oh what’s the pouty face for?" I asked walking over towards
Alyssa and she screeched and ran out of the pool.
"You mean daddy." She said grabbing a towel from Leighanne and
sitting down on one of the deck chairs.
"Alyssa I was playing around. Don't you want to get back in?"
I asked and she shook her head no. I just laughed and went over and
swam in the deep end for a while.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Leigh put Alyssa
to bed about 3 hours ago and we were sitting and watching a movie when the
phone rang. I looked over at the clock and was 11:30 and I was thinking
who would be calling at this hour. I got up and went and answered the
phone.
"Hello?" I asked yawning a little bit.
"Is this a mister Brian Littrell?" The lady asked on the other
line.
"Yes this is. Might I ask who’s calling please?" I asked
as my stomach did a flip flop.
"Do you know a Meghan Johnson of Lexington, Kentucky?" She
asked. Why was some one calling about her?
"Yes I do ma'am. She died about 2 months ago." I stated
not knowing still what she wanted.
"Do you know that her parents are both still alive and didn't know about
their daughter's death and what had happened to her daughter?" She
asked.
"Ma'am Meghan went back to Kentucky to sort things out with her parents.
She asked me to take care of Alyssa for her and I attended her funeral in
Lexington 7 weeks ago." I said getting annoying and that there’s a
possibility that Meghan's parents might come after Alyssa.
"Is the child in your legal care?" She asked. We had
signed the adoption papers just last week.
"Yes ma'am. We signed the adoption papers last week. My
girlfriend and I adopted her from the state of Kentucky." I said
scratching my head.
"The Johnson's have asked me to ask you if you could bring Alyssa by to
see them. They know about the adoption and just want to see her."
She said. I planned out a date that we were going to be up there.
I had now the fun task of explaining to Alyssa that her grandparents just
now wanted to see her and I did not know how I was going to explain this to a 3
year old.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
We arrived at the
house and it was just as I remembered it when I left 7 years ago. It was
a beautiful light red brick house that had about 8 windows in the front.
I use to drop Meghan off after school here everyday before I left.
I sighed and thought about the memories that it brought back.
Alyssa ran up and grabbed onto the back of my arm and I looked down and
smiled at her. She looked up at me with these pleading blue eyes, but I
agreed for this to happen. There was no turning back now.
"Daddy I don’t want go." Alyssa said as we approached the front
door. I turned around and picked her up.
"Sweetie I had to agree with this and so you have to meet mommy's grandparents.
It won't be a long visit, I promise." I said kissing her
forehead. She put her chin on my shoulder and stare towards the back.
We all walked up and rang the doorbell. I took a deep breath and
waited for some one to answer the door. I heard footsteps and took a step
back from the door.
"Ah you must be Mr. Littrell, Ms Wallace and Alyssa. Please come
in." The lady said. We walked in and nothing had really
changed except maybe the paintings on the walls.
"Alyssa please stop doing that." I asked referring to her
digging her chin into my shoulder the more we walked in.
"Sorry daddy." She said smiling at me. I smiled back and we
proceeded into the dining room.
"Mr. and Mrs. Johnson this is Brian Littrell and his girlfriend. The
little one I am assuming is Alyssa?" The lady asked. Well duh
I don't have any other kids, or none that I know of.
"Yes this is Meghan's daughter." Leighanne said tickling her
and she giggled. I sat her down and grabbed onto my hand again.
"Alyssa do you know we are?" Meghan's mom asked standing up and
walking over towards us. Alyssa hid behind my leg and didn't peak out
either.
"We have explained to her about the situation. She didn't want to
come because of other reasons, that I rather not state again in front of
her." I said turning around and picking her up.
"We know about our daughter Brian, we were in a state of shock when she
first told us about Alyssa." Mr. Johnson said. I frowned at
the idea that they said this in front of her. I handed Alyssa over to
Leighanne and she walked out of the room with her.
"Mr. Littrell can you give the Johnson's some vital statistics about their
granddaughter." The lady asked I assumed that she was their lawyer.
"Her full name is Alyssa Marie Johnson-Littrell. She was born on
April 3, 1998 and she’s 3 almost 4 years old. Her mom died about 2 months
ago from breast cancer and brought Alyssa to me asking me to take care of her.
My girlfriend and I signed the adoption papers last week. What are
you asking for of me?" I asked after stating the things about Meghan
and Alyssa.
"The Johnson's are requesting a joint custody of Alyssa and getting to see
her when you come here for the holiday's." The lady stated. I
guess I could do that but something told me that there was something fishy
about this but I agreed to it not knowing what they might do.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Thanksgiving
"Alyssa!
Come on you have to go see mommy's parents!" I yelled for her
upstairs. She came running down the steps with a pouting face.
"What’s the matter sweetie?" I asked picking her up.
"I don’t want go." She said sticking out her lip at me.
"Honey you have to go. But don't worry daddy and Leigh will pick you
up in a few hours and then you can come back here and eat turkey with grandma
and grandpa." I said tickling her tummy a little she just giggled
and we headed out the door. It was a short walk to the Johnson home but I
still had that feeling that something was going to happen.
"Thanks for letting us spend some time with her Brian. She looks so
much like you and Meghan both." Mrs. Johnson said smiling. I
sat Alyssa down and urged her to go on.
"Leigh and I will be back in a few hours to get her." I said
bending down to Alyssa's level and giving her a hug and kiss. She walked
into the house and I watched her and sighed. I hope and prayed that she
would be all right and nothing would happen to her.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Babyduck? Its 6:30, aren't you and Leigh going to
pick up Alyssa?" My mom asked me. I was sitting in my room
reading a magazine.
"Yep thanks for reminding me mom." I said giving her a quick
kiss and walking downstairs. "Hey Leigh are you coming?"
"Yeah of course." She said standing up and smiling. We
headed out the door and walked the short distance to the Johnson's. I
walked up and rang the doorbell and stood back and waited. I heard the
pitter patter of feet and Mrs. Johnson answered the door.
"Come in! Alyssa is ready to go." We walked in and found
Alyssa sitting at the table. She ran over to me and hugged me.
"Did you have fun sweetie?" I asked picking her up. She
moaned a little bit and I just ignored it thinking she was tired.
"Yes." She said smiling. We said our goodbyes and I told them
that I would be in touch with them about Christmas. We walked back to my
parent's house and I looked at Alyssa and saw that she had some small bruises
on her face and thought that maybe it was from her falling, maybe. But
something told me to ask her when we got back.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I walked upstairs
with Alyssa in arms. Leighanne stayed downstairs and talked about what
Alyssa had told us. I arrived at the room Alyssa was staying at and sat
her down on the bed. I sighed and had to ask her about the bruises.
"Alyssa can I ask you something?" I asked her and she looked up
at me and whimpered.
"Daddy they hurt me." She said started crying. I laid her
down and pulled her shirt up and found more bruises on her stomach. I
went over to the door and yelled for Leighanne. Alyssa sat back up and
climbed down of the bed and pulled on my arm.
"What is it sweetie?" I said picking her up and she moaned
again. I guess she was hurting.
"My tummy hurts." She said. I didn't wait and ran downstairs
with Alyssa and found Leighanne walking over to the steps and I told her what
was going on. I grabbed mine and Alyssa's coat and ran out the door,
leaving my parents to wonder what was going on.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The doctor took
Alyssa right back and checked her over. He had suspected that she was
beaten and wanted us to file a report. I called my parents and explained
to them what had happened. We were now waiting on the x-ray results.
Alyssa had since fallen asleep and Leigh was sitting with me filling out
information.
"Why would anyone harm a child like this?" I asked looking over
at Alyssa. She looked so peaceful and she’s like a sweet angel.
"I dunno Bri, but I had a funny feeling about them when we met them.
Did you think that something was going to happen when you left her
earlier?" Leigh asked setting down the pencil and looking over at
me.
"Yeah I did, but I pushed it away. The police are on their way over
to question them right now. If their damn lawyer is there, then they will
talk if not I dunno." I said sighing and Alyssa's doctor came back
in with her results.
"Well mostly she has the bruises and 2 ribs on the left side are broken.
Do you know who did this to her?" She asked sitting down on a
stool in the room.
"We had agreed for her to meet her mom's grandparents and spend a few
hours with them. We picked her up and we went back to my parent's and
that’s when I discovered the bruises."
"Well we think she was beaten and she will heal in time. But her
emotional state might be on another level. Talk to her and see what
happened, but other than that she can be discharged in an hour." He
said shaking my hand. I sighed at what all had happened and hoped that
the police would take care of the Johnson's and get them their own personal
help.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
We got home from
Kentucky about 2 weeks ago. Alyssa is doing much better but her ribs are
still healing. She told us about what had happened and we told her that
she wouldn't have to go see them again unless she wanted to. As for
Meghan's parents they got off with a warning and that their visiting privileges
would have to be supervised and that it would be on our consent that Alyssa
could go over and see them.
"Brian where’s Alyssa?" Leighanne asked walking into the
office. I had thought she was outside playing with her friend from across
the street.
"She was outside playing with Amanda. I thought you were watching
her?" I asked standing up and running outside to look for Alyssa.
I found her and Amanda playing out in the backyard. I took a deep
breath and sighed a relief.
"Daddy what wrong?" Alyssa asked running up to me. I sat
down on the deck and watched her run up to me.
"Nothing sweetie. Go back to playing." I said giving her
a reassuring smile and watched her and Amanda play on the swingset.
I got up and walked in the house and got a drink and walked back out.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Daddy!
HELP!" I heard Alyssa scream for me. I ran out of my
parents house and into the blistering cold and saw that some one had their
hands on Alyssa. I yelled for help and jumped in my car and drove after them
but soon to be stopped by the kidnapper firing shots at me. I ran back
into the house and called 911. I was shaking so badly and scared for my
daughter. The police took my call and were on their way over.
"Brian what happened?" Leighanne said come running down the
steps. By that time I had tears in my eyes and was crying.
"Some.......one........got.........Aly....liss....ah."
I said stuttering all the words and syllables. Leighanne came over
and held me tight. There was nothing we could do till the cops got here
and got the information from me. I just hope they find my precious baby.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I looked out the
window and watched as a new snowfall began. It’s been a week since Alyssa
was kidnapped and they have a new lead and they are out working on it. I
look down at the picture that was just taken two days before she was kidnapped
and sigh. We didn't have Christmas because she wasn't here and it was
hard. We are saving this holiday for her and that will be the best
present will be to have her home and safe. Santa came and visited on
Christmas day and every time I walk by the fireplace I think about her and who
could've done this.
"Baby Duck? Officer James is on the phone." I turned
around as my mom said that. I grabbed the phone out of her hands and
hoped that it was good news.
"This is Brian Littrell." I stated to the officer. I said
a quick prayer that it was all good news.
"Mr. Littrell we found Alyssa. We have taken her to the hospital to
be checked over. From initial check over she has some scrapes, abrasions,
bruises and possible broken arm. She's at St. Patrick's in Lexington."
I smiled at my mom and sighed a big relief. I thanked him and we
all piled into the car and headed to the hospital. Whoever did this will
pay this time. There’s no doubt in that.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
We arrived at the hospital
soon after. The nurse took me back to be with Alyssa. I walked into
the small room that she was in. It was decorated in clown wallpaper and
had a balloon border. It was fit for kids and I walked over to Alyssa's
bed. Her right eye was swollen shut and she had a nasty bruise around it.
They were putting her arm in a cast and I sat down on a chair beside her
bed.
"Daddy!" She squealed wanting to get up but the nurse told her to
stay down a few more minutes. I sat down on her bed and she grabbed my
hand scared, I could feel it.
"How are you feeling sweetie? I am so happy you are safe."
I said giving her a kiss on her forehead.
"Daddy mean people hurt me. Mommy....." She trailed off.
I knew right then and there who had kidnapped her and I looked up and
Leighanne and my parents had wondered back. I let them stay with her
while I went out to call and check up on the kidnapper situation. I got a
hold of the same officer that
had call about Alyssa and he had said that they were arrested. I walked
back into the room that Alyssa was in and saw that they were putting her arm in
a sling and Leighanne was listening to what the doctor had to say. I
smiled and new that my baby was home safe and sound and happy that not we will
never here from Meghan's parents in a long time.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
10 Years
Later
Leighanne and I finally and I mean finally got married
about 9 months after the kidnapping. Alyssa asks every now and then about
what happened to her other set of grandparents but we talk about the one
frightful day when she was lost and we had doubts about getting her back.
But she’s my precious angel and I thank God everyday that she’s still
here with us. Alyssa is 13 now and it’s the wonderful teenage years. She
takes a lot after her mom and is in gymnastics and dance. She enjoys it
and I can't stand watching her stretch, it gives me chills just thinking about
it. As for Leighanne and I we have 4 other children and one on the way.
There’s Brian Jr, who’s 10, Brianna who’s 8,
Danielle who’s 6, Jason who’s 5 and Mackenzie who’s 3. The baby coming we
had the ultrasound done and the doctor thinks it’s a boy and the name we have
chosen is Joshua. As I sit back and think about all that has happened
there were times that I did break down and cry like a child, but I am happy
that God blessed me with one very special child and I thank him everyday for
all my little blessings and also that Meghan is watching over us.
The End
