Part 1:
As Long As Someone is Happy
JULY 2003
Nick wasn’t sure where he was, or really even
of where he was going, because he’d long ago thrown out the map. He had tossed
it, along with his cell phone, out the window somewhere on his way through
Ohio. It had made him smile, watching from the rearview mirror, at the tiny
phone smashing into a million pieces all over the blacktop as the map fluttered
to the ground beside it. And while it
felt strange to not have the constant ringing as call after call came in from
his Mom, brothers and sisters, friends and the guys, it also felt good for once
in his life to just be anonymous.
Turning up the volume on the radio, he could
get nothing but static, static, more static, and a station that had a farm report.
Laughing at the seriousness in the reporter’s voice as he discussed pigs,
poultry, and grain, he reached for the glove box and pulled out two CDs.
Popping open the first CD, it was a demo of
some of the songs he and the guys had been working on for the next Backstreet
Boys CD. The cuts were rough and many acoustic, and Nick believed it was some
of the best work they had ever done as a group.
He especially liked the ones where the five of them did tight harmony,
their voices almost meshing together like one incredible voice. It reminded him
so much of the old days, before the fame and the first CD. Before anybody knew
their names or faces. Before life seemed to get in the way of the music.
Humming along with the second cut, he smiled
at the banter in the background while Howie sang his part. A.J. was going off
with his “Yo mama” jokes on Brian, and Brian was actually playing along. The
mood was light, and when Nick stepped up to the mic and joined his voice with
Howie, you could hear Kevin laughing about the fact that Nick’s fly was open.
Before Nick hit the road, there had been a
final meeting with the band and management. For once, it had been pleasant and
stress-free, and the guys had actually been open to Nick’s suggestion of
releasing some of the songs stripped down and raw. He wanted it to have the
feel of their old Unplugged concert, and, miraculously, everyone had agreed.
Nick had given them all big bear hugs when he
stood up to leave, making them promise that if they didn’t see him again, they
would stick to their word of releasing the CD complete with promotion and a
tour. The whole nine yards.
They were optimistic that he would return and
reluctant to go on with the CD if he didn’t. But in the end, Nick had pushed
hard for what he wanted and won.
And a promise was a promise.
Looking out towards the West, Nick noticed
that the sun had begun to set. Turning off the radio, he pulled the car off to
a rest stop by the side of the road and killed the engine. The sky was streaked
in brilliant shades of gold and lavender. Colors Nick had long ago left in a
crayon box in the bedroom that he had shared with his sister as a child.
God, it was so beautiful. He had missed too
many sunsets in his life. They always seemed to occur while he was on a stage
doing a sound check for a concert, or in the corner of some bar drinking with
some buddies, or asleep on a tour bus whizzing through middle America. In his twenty-three years, he had never sat still
long enough to watch the colors of day mesh into night.
Getting out the of convertible, he put the top
up and locked both sides and then climbed back in the car, settling back in the
soft leather seat. He decided that
instead of spending the night in some hotel room, he wanted to spend the night
here, parked at a rest stop off of some deserted stretch of road, in the middle
of nowhere, with only the stars and moon for comfort and company.
***
Kara woke up with her alarm, trying to figure
out if the Bon Jovi song on the radio was new or old? They all sounded the same to her.
Throwing back the covers, she grabbed at her
head and winced. She’d had way too many drinks last night at her best friend’s
wild bachelorette party, half of which she didn’t even remember. Let’s see,
there had been food and drinks and, at some point, a cheesy looking guy in a
cop uniform walking into the room with a boombox in his hand…
Reaching for the water bottle by the side of
the bed, she took two swigs and then poured the rest over her throbbing head.
“Oh my God,” she moaned, a flashback of the
evening filling her brain. “Did I actually dance with the guy on the coffee
table?” Standing up, she dropped the
empty plastic bottle to the bed and headed to the bathroom for a hot shower.
An hour later, she was showered and dressed, a
cup of coffee in her hand as she slipped into her car and headed for The
Farmers Market just outside of town. She
had worked the Market every year from the time she was a child. Just her, her sister, her parents, and her
grandparents, side by side in the blazing summer sun, selling the wonderful
fruits and vegetables from her grandparents’ farm.
Backing down the driveway, she flipped on the
radio and sighed.
---
“Grandma, I just don’t think I can do
it.” Kara held the phone tightly in her
hand, her bottom lip trembling.
“Kara, we need you. And it would be good for
us to be together as a family.”
“We’re not a family without Mom and Dad. It just won’t be the same.”
“They wouldn’t want you to stop doing the
things you enjoy because they aren’t here to share them with you, Kara. You
have to keep living.”
---
Her parents had been killed in a car crash
only five months before, and she was still suffering. Which probably explained the drinking last
night and the dancing and her reluctance to sell at the Market with her family
this year. The phone call from her
Grandma two weeks before had left her feeling sad and empty and missing her
parents more than ever.
---
“Say you’ll come Kara. Say you’ll carry on
their traditions.” Her grandmother’s voice shook with age and sorrow, and Kara
found that she couldn’t say no.
“Fine, I’ll come.” Kara twisted the phone cord
around her finger until it was turning blue.
“I’ll come,” she repeated again, more to convince herself then her
grandmother.
“You’ll come? Oh, Baby, it will make Grandpa
and I so happy…”
---
“As long as someone is happy,” Kara said out
loud, turning left onto the frontage road.
***
Nick woke up with a kink in his neck and a
headache that couldn’t be cured with Tylenol.
Rubbing his eyes, he tried to figure out where the hell he was and why
he was so uncomfortable. As he shifted
to the left, his arms getting tangled in the steering wheel of the car, he
quickly figured out he was in his rented red Mustang convertible, parked at a
rest stop, staring at nothing but land and sky.
Popping open the door of the car, he unfolded
his long legs and climbed out, the smell of grass and horse manure assaulting his
senses.
“Holy Jesus,” he groaned, grabbing at his
stomach that rolled from the stench in the air and from no dinner the night
before. Popping open the trunk, he
rifled around, looking through the duffle bags he had packed, as well as the
cooler. He had never taken a road trip
before and had not been prepared for how hungry driving would make him. Looking through the cooler now, all he had
left was a half-empty chocolate Chug and a bag of chips. Pulling out both, he swigged from the Chug
and stuffed a handful of chips in his mouth to quiet his growling stomach.
Shutting the trunk of the car, he paused and
looked around. He wondered, which way to
town? Or if there was a town? He needed some food and gas for the car and
maybe some conversation.
---
“Let me come with you.” Brian leaned against the table in the
conference room, casual and in control like only Brian could be.
“Yeah, like Leighanne would let you come with
me.” Nick laughed, picking up his folder
with the current legal papers and contract they had just finished going over
with management.
“She’s not the boss of me,” Brian said with a
smirk on his face.
“Yes she is!”
Nick laughed, the folder falling from his grip.
“I’ll get it.”
Brian lunged forward, stooping to get the folder.
“You don’t have to treat me like that.”
Standing up, the folder in his hand, Brian
handed it to Nick with a weak smile.
“Like what?” Brian’s eyes shifted
around the room before settling back on Nick.
“Like I’m already dead or something.”
Brian laughed, shrugging off Nick’s
comment. “Nick, why don’t you just let
me come with you? We’ll rent a car, stay
in some funky motels. It’ll be fun.”
“Look, Bro, you got a wife and a new baby to
take care of. And besides, I just want
to be alone.”
Following Nick to the door, Brian slapped him
lightly on the back. “Okay, that’s
okay. We’ll just plan on doing something
together when you get back.”
“Yeah,” Nick laughed a little, running a hand
through his hair. “When I get back...”
---
Setting the chips and drink on the passenger
seat, Nick unlatched the convertible top and pulled it back, pushing it into
place, and then climbed back in the car.
It was a beautiful summer day, and he was going to make the most of it,
alone or not.
Turning on the radio, he hit the play button
on the CD and pulled out onto the long, deserted road.
***
