Part 10:
It Feels Right
The connection Nick was feeling with Kara at
that moment was unlike anything he had ever felt before in his life. Powerful in its utter simplicity. He dragged a shaking hand through her hair,
their breath twisting in the air.
“Kara.”
Her name caught in his throat as he stroked her cheek, letting his hand
frame her face before tracing his index finger down her neck to her shoulder.
She sighed, swallowing hard, closing her eyes
before leaning into him.
Nick had waited a lifetime for this kind of
connection with a woman. What he was
feeling with Kara was something so much more then two bodies rolling around
together on a bed. It was a connection
of souls that he would carry with him even after he crossed over to the other
side.
“What’s happening, Nick?” Kara asked, wrapping
her arms around him as the stars shifted overhead in the sky, popping like hot
white lights.
“I don’t know,” Nick answered in a whisper,
“but it feels right.”
***
They fell asleep curled up on the hood of the
red Mustang convertible. A tangle of
arms and legs, their faces pressed together, holding hands with fingers
intertwined.
Kara dreamt, in bright, bold colors, of her
parents showering their love down on her from up above. How she had longed to see their faces again,
without the cold grimaces of death. Her
mother was as beautiful as ever, with her warm, chestnut-colored hair framing
her face, her green eyes twinkling, her bright white smiling glowing, as she
reached out her arms to Kara. And her
father… oh, her wonderful father. So
tall and strong, with his sweep of tawny-colored hair and his ruddy, tanned
complexion that seemed to glow as he threw back his head, his laughter booming
out in the sky.
The wonderful dreams seemed to go on for an
eternity, flashbacks of a life and a love shared between a family that, thanks
to Nick, she would now keep in her heart for a lifetime. She didn’t ever want to wake up from the
wonderful dreams, but she was suddenly very aware of the pull of a windshield
wiper in her hair, as well as a hood ornament digging into her ankle as the morning
sun warmed her skin.
Opening her eyes, she smiled.
Nick was rolled on his side, facing her, mouth
parted, snoring lightly. She didn’t want
to wake him, so she just lay there staring at him while he slept, trying to
make a memory of the beautiful young man that would last forever.
When his blue eyes finally blinked open, he
smiled a tired smile at her. “Good
morning.”
“Good morning.”
Untangling his legs from hers, Nick stretched,
rubbing his hands over his wild hair.
“What time is it?” he asked.
“Who cares?”
Kara yawned.
“Good point.” He laughed, groaning as he sat
up. “Man, I’m getting too old to be
sleeping on the hoods of a cars.”
Kara tried to unwind the windshield wiper from
her hair. “Hey, do you think I could get
some help with this,” she said with a small laugh.
Nick turned, sizing up the situation. “Yet another benefit of having my having
short hair,” he said, working his hands through her hair. “No windshield wiper damage if you get one
caught in it.” They both tried to laugh,
but a sudden reality hung heavy in the early morning air.
“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” Kara looked up at him with eyes that begged
him to stay.
“Yeah, I have to go.” Nick held out the windshield wiper for her to
take. “Here, a souvenir from our time
together,” he said, placing a light kiss on her forehead before jumping down
off the hood. “C’mon, let me help you.”
He held out a hand to her, and she paused, wondering for a brief moment
what would happen if she didn’t let him help her down.
Would he stay?
Finally, she placed her hand in his, letting
him pull her to the ground.
“Do you want me to drop you off back at your
grandparents’?” He walked her to the passenger side of the car, opening the door
for her.
Kara nodded and then shook her head. “No, I have to be at The Market early again
this morning to help them unload the fruit.
I guess you’d better just drop me off there.”
Nick shut the door, leaning on it for a brief
moment, looking down at her before pushing away and walking to the driver’s
side.
***
The ride to The Market was filled with patches
of sad silence, the music from the radio filling in the awkward lulls in
conversation that only a few hours before had been jammed full of witty banter.
Nick could see the white tents being raised
into the sky in the distance, as the vendors got ready to start another long
day. Pulling off to the side of the
road, he glanced up ahead, smiling as he noticed Kara’s grandparents’ old blue
pickup truck rumbling across the field, boxes of fruit knocking and jostling in
the back, her grandmother’s wide brimmed straw hat peeking out the passenger
side window.
Then he looked to Kara. A girl who had let him into her life with no
strings attached to who he was or what he was.
She accepted him for him, and in his life, that had been a rarity. It was everything he had always wanted in
life, and now he had it… in his memories.
A place where nobody could ever take it away from him, not in life and
not in death.
“I guess we’re here.” Nick propped himself up in his seat, the car
still running.
“Yeah.”
Kara looked at him, then down to the red sweatshirt she still wore. “Oh, I guess you’ll be needing this,” she
said with a small laugh, as she went to pull it over her head.
“No.”
Nick stopped her. “Please, keep
it to remember me by.” He felt stupid
saying the words, but her smile merely melted all his feelings of inadequacy
away.
Kara placed a hand on the door latch, popping
the door open before Nick could climb out and make his way around to help her
out. Standing, she heaved the door shut
and turned to face him.
“So what happens now?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” Nick said, taking her hands
into his. “But from what I’m told, it
will be something wonderful.”
“Who told you that?” Kara’s bottom lip trembled ever so slightly.
Nick just smiled, glancing up at the sky
before pulling Kara to him, both of them holding tightly to each other like
their lives depended on it.
“I really have to go.” Nick pulled her back from him, kissing her
over and over on the top of her head.
Kara stood back, smiling, reaching for his
hand. “Nick.” She pressed the palm of his hand to her
cheek. “I won’t forget to open my heart so
that you can come back to me.”
---
“If you don’t cry, then eventually a part of
you will die.”
“Crying will let them go, Kara, so that your
heart will open up and they can come back to you.”
“It’s okay to cry, Kara. It just means you miss them.”
---
Nick’s own words echoed in his brain, as he
dipped his head with a smile. Dropping
his hand from her soft, warm face, Nick backed up and walked to the car,
climbing behind the wheel with more feelings then he imagined a human being
could ever have pushing and pulling inside of his chest.
Kara turned and started off across the field
in the direction of The Market, the sleeves of his sweatshirt swinging below
her fingertips, her pace picking up the closer she got to the tents. He didn’t know if he wanted her to look back
or not.
When she finally reached her grandparents’
tent, he could see them pull her into warm embraces of welcoming love, making
him smile. He saw Allie climb from her car and walk towards Kara, the two of
them standing toe to toe for a full minute before Kara finally yanked her
sister into an awkward hug that was hesitantly returned. Without hearing their words, Nick could see
the two sisters’ hatred for one another melting into a mutual understanding.
Pushing the car into drive, Nick glanced down
for a moment before looking up again, wanting just one more glimpse into Kara’s
world before he set off on his journey, but something seemed odd.
He blinked twice in confusion, as the big
white tents billowing in the breeze one by one began to disappear…
Glancing up to Kara’s grandparents’ beautiful
farmhouse, perched so magnificently on the hillside in gleaming white and
yellow, it too seemed to be fading away…
Beginning to protest the odd happenings around
him, Nick noticed a group of people walking beside the car, laughing and
talking as they headed off in the direction of The Market.
“Hey, do you guys see what’s going on?” Nick
called out to them. They turned to look
at him, the colors in their faces blurring like melting crayons.
Nick’s eyes frantically searched his
surroundings… the dissolving treetops and houses of the nearby town... the cars
flashing by him that seemed to bleed into white light. Reaching out his shaking hand, he slowly traced
the outline of Kara, her sister, and her grandparents, standing by the blue
pickup truck, waving to him with smiles on their faces.
One by one, they were fading from his vision…
---
“This is like a dream,” he said, climbing from
the car as Kara walked around to meet him.
“Isn’t life just one big dream anyway?” she
said, hooking an arm around his waist as they walked towards the porch.
---
Throwing the car into park, Nick opened the
door and climbed out, his mouth parted in protest as he spun around slowly in a
circle, watching the world he had created crumbling around him like pastel
dust.
And then he knew… knew that the last
twenty-four hours had been nothing more then a beautiful dream.
***
